Hang Down Your Head, Mark Tooley
Doop-dee-doop, checkin’ the email.
Conference on ‘U.S. Sponsored Torture’ Conveniently Overlooks Everyone Else and Features 9-11 Conspiracy Theorist
Hmm, this one’s from UMAction, a Methodist group concerned with social justice.
“It’s hard to take seriously a conference that regards the world’s oldest continuing democracy as an egregious human rights offender, but has nothing to say about Kim Jong-il locking away Christians in reeducation camps or China executing prisoners and trafficking their organs for sale.” — Mark Tooley, Executive Director UMAction
Indeed, maybe they ought to change the name of the conference, since it’s so misleading.
Doop-dee-doop, checkin’ the…
Hey, wait just one single, solitary second here! Speaking of misleadingly naming things, this isn’t from the social-justice Methodists at all, but from a foundation-funded right-wing front group (run by neocon Catholics) pretending to represent Methodists. Here’s a caveat from another UMAction, a genuine Methodist group:
There are some very well-funded organizations whose agenda it is to take control of the United Methodist Church (as well as other denominations) and who use the same techniques that led to the religious right coming to control the Southern Baptist Church. Their agenda is to constrain the wisdom of John Wesley in emphasizing both the works of mercy of social justice and works of piety of attending to the presence of God. They are very selective when it comes to who should be treated in a just manner and who shouldn’t. In other words, they may be long on piety, but quite deficient when it comes to social justice.
This site contains information regarding the funding and perspective of the IRD (Institute on Religion and Democracy), under whose influence and coordination fall the Confessing Movement (“Good News”) and other examples of the “Religious Right.” You’ll also find links to resources advocating a church that truly does have “open hearts, open minds, and open doors.”
So, on behalf of the many United Methodists who are concerned about those organizations and their efforts,
here are links to pronouncements from the IRD…
…and here are some links to inform and connect us.
And here’s Mark Tooley, apparently a big wheel in Christian pro-torture smokescreening:
Above: Eddie Munster wants his shirt back
Bonus fun: Here’s Tooley taking on the ‘anti-land mine lobby,’ and here he is in the wake of the Matthew Shepard murder, doing what seems to be his usual trick:
Although most of the organizers of the “Stop the Hate Day” are affiliated with nominally Christian institutions, the victims they mention are only those targeted by racists and homophobes, such as Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, the black man dragged to death in Texas. Isaiah Shoels of Columbine High School is mentioned because he was targeted by his killers as a black student. Unmentioned are students who died professing their faith in God. The anti-Christian blasphemies shouted by the killer at Wedgewood Baptist Church in Fort Worth are also ignored.1
…Tellingly, the speakers at the anti-breast cancer walk only mentioned illness caused by breast cancer. Unmentioned were the women who died under Communism.
The “Stop the Hate” coalition should be more honest about its real goals.
Thus is revealed the hidden agenda of the aptly-named ‘pink ribbon campaign.’
1 Cf.
CAN NOT HAV!
Jesus, Mark, that is so dressed-in-the-dark…
Speaking of torture…
And they’ll know we are Christians by our love.
Of torcher, doncha know.
Pick a stripe. Any stripe.
“The world’s oldest continuing democracy”? What has Iceland been getting up to?
By his stripes, we are heeled.
Hey!
You stole my line!
You schnorrer!
If Jesus being tortured saves our souls, imagine what torturing really bad guys would do for us! Because if torturing a good guy is good, imagine how much better torturing a bad guy is!
His face needs to be pushed into a wood chipper. Thats not torture, its a form of therapy.
If you dislike squash, you must denounce all vegetable everywhere.
Tooley denounces christian bashing yet does not denounce atheist bashing. We are utterly igored by the Churches, which would help and support us if they weren’t all big hypocrital meanies who dont’ care about reliogious persecution.
Can I have wingnut money now?
Old Mark Tooley came to town
Swingin’ those sophistries all around
Always to the right
Never to the left.
The double standard he loves best.
Clear the way for old Mark Tooley
He’s too late to have his chili
Clear the way for old Mark Tooley
He’s too late to have his chili
(Sorry. I’ve been listening to the Seeger Sessions a lot lately.)
These leftwing “churches” bring shame upon the Christian faith and upon John Wesely who founded the Methodist movement. These people are unpatriotic scoundrels who defend terrorists and other enemies of America and yet are silent about the innocent victims of the 9/11 atrocities or the Jewish Seminary massacre by a Palestinian savage. I for one support the use of torture against terrorists regardless of whether it provides useful information. Torture when used against terrorists can provide an effective deterent against future terrorist attacks. Imagine the fear a potential terrorist would have if he knew that if he were captured by the Americans he would be tortured, it might make him think twice about carrying out a terror attack.
Anyone catch NPR yesterday in the morning Diane Rehm Show? One of the guests actually said that the new artical by David (Chimpy’s on an upturn) Broder is just so “good”. Yes I almost crashed my car I laughed that hard.
Aren’t a lot of terrorist attacks suicide bombers? Torture wouldn’t deter them because they know they’ll be dead.
Not that Rugs is able to follow logic, but I just had to say that.
Hey, Pinky in Montana is here!
Still hatin’ on the real American values, I see.
The heroic killing of the Palestinian savage by an off duty Israeli military officer shows that private gunowership is very effective at stopping crime and terrorism. Just think how many more innocent people would have been murdered if that brave Israeli hadn’t been armed?
If there were such a thing as an honest decent conservative, they would be telling people like Pinky to STFU for making the movement look bad.
But it’s impossible to make this movement look bad. It’s worst characteristics are inherent. Without its many obvious faults and delusions, it ceases to exist.
> I for one support the use of torture against terrorists regardless of whether it provides useful information. Torture when used against terrorists can provide an effective deterent against future terrorist attacks. Imagine the fear a potential terrorist would have if he knew that if he were captured by the Americans he would be tortured, it might make him think twice about carrying out a terror attack.
Then you support the torture of George Washington – he was considered a terrorist by the British.
CONGRATS. Your conservative “hate America” bona-fides are in place.
I only have one question for any of the wingnut trolls and members of the 101st Chairborne: does Jesus love torture more, or less, than Limbaugh loves Oxycontin?
My head go all asplodey.
Jesus looooooves torture. That’s why he said “turn the other cheek” and “whatsoever you do to the least of your brothers, that you do unto me.”
I bet when these good Christians get before the pearly gates that the Saints, many of whom were tortured themselves, will just love the torturer fans.
If there had been more armed workers at the World Trade Center on Sept. 11, 2001, then there would have been more gunmen helping George W. Bush and Rudy Giuliani to bravely fight off the terrorist planes and 9-11 would have been very different, let me tell you.
Plus, we need to pass out more guns in the streets of Baghdad so the grateful Iraqi people can help in the fight against terrorism.
Maybe we should set up some distribution centers in the permanent bases we are building?
Point of order, Mr. Chairman.
Rogered in Montana is not a wingnut troll. He or she is an attention/parody troll.
Also, very boring.
And now for something completely different.
I am so a wingnut troll!!!
AND a sock puppet!
So there!
George Washington was not a terrorist, he was a revolutionary as the American colonies were supposed to be on equal footing with Great Britain. Britain should have given them representation in Parliment, and should have allowed them to trade, own firearms and own land and property as the colonists pleased as was the English traditions which the King unjustly took away from his colonies as he was a tyrant. The people regardless of the nation in which they live have a God given right to overthrow a tyrannical government. America is no such nation, we are a peace loving nation which was unjustly attacked because of our Judeo Chrisian heritage and because we are free and not an islamofascist dictatorship that they desire for us.
If you have any questions about history and who was right and who was wrong, just ask Pinky. He has all the answers because he listens to Bill O’Reilly EVERY DAY.
Frank Slaughtery: “You know, you’re wearing a striped shirt with a striped tie, you know that, right?”
Phelan: “Yeah, I do it for the ladies.”
Frank Slaughtery: “Oh – the ladies ever tell you that you look like a fucking optical illusion?”
I agree with everything Rugged said, just as I agree with all my other sock puppets.
We go hunting together all the time when he comes to visit my synagogue.
I actually know quite a bit about American History and History in general as it was my favorite subject when I was in school.
I never liked him. Not really.
That’s pretty convincing, Pinky. Almost as good as an endorsement from the current president that you’re highly qualified to be Attorney General.
I’ll reserve judgment until you provide some testable comments.
the striped shirt is torturing my eyes.
wingnuts have the best names. “tooley” goes with his scary dead eyeballs.
“The Western regimes and the government of the US bear the blame for what might happen. If their people do not wish to be harmed inside their very own countries, they should seek to elect governments that are truly representative of them and that can protect their interests.” (May 1998)
“We swore that America wouldn’t live in security until we live it truly in Palestine. This showed the reality of America, which puts Israel’s interest above its own people’s interest. America won’t get out of this crisis until it gets out of the Arabian Peninsula, and until it stops its support of Israel.” (Oct. 2001)
Arizona was the last of the 48 continental States to be admitted into the Union. It was admitted as the 48th State in the year 1912.
The unconstitutional 16th amendmet was ratified in the year 1916 the first time in our nation’s history that an income tax was imposed.
The unconstitutional National Firearms Registration Act of 1934 was our nation’s first despicable piece of anti-freedom gun control legislation.
Grover Cleveland was the only American President to serve two nonconsecutive terms in office.
John Jay was our nation’s first Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, he was appointed by President George Washington.
The 1792 milita act required all able bodied male citizens between the ages of 18-45 to provide their own firearms and form a milita in times of crisis.
The first English Colony of Jamestown Virginia was established in 1607
Rugged in Montana said,
Everything you say is boring.
Congratulations. You can recite some facts anyone can look up on the web. That doesn’t mean you understand history.
That Christian Homeschooling History course was a waste of money, amigo.
@#$%!!
When will I learn to switch names?
I get it. Rogered In Montana is a TRIVIAL TROLL.
A new species, from interbred wingnuts spending too much time in the closet fantasizing about water, boards, and big sweaty Arabs.
Whose a cute little troll with a torture fetish?
You are! Yes you are!
Prescott Bush was born in Columbus, Ohio to Flora Sheldon and Samuel Prescott Bush.
Prescott Bush played varsity golf, football, and baseball, and was president of the Yale Glee Club.
Alternating between intelligence and artillery, Bush came under fire in the Meuse-Argonne offensive. In what became a controversy, Bush wrote home about receiving medals for heroic exploits, and his letters were later published in Columbus newspapers. However, Bush retracted statements made in his letters a few weeks later when it was revealed that he, in fact, had not received such medals.
Investigator John Loftus has said, “As a former federal prosecutor, I would make a case for Prescott Bush, his father-in-law (George Walker) and Averell Harriman [to be prosecuted] for giving aid and comfort to the enemy. They remained on the boards of these companies knowing that they were of financial benefit to the nation of Germany.” Two former slave laborers from Poland have filed suit in London against the government of the United States and the heirs of Prescott Bush in the amount of $40 billion. A class-action lawsuit filed in the U.S. in 2001 was dismissed based on the principle of state sovereignty.
Evidently, Prescott Bush was a liberal.
> Evidently, Prescott Bush was a liberal.
No, no, no, NO!
He was a good wingnut. Helping Hitler to kill Americans fits in with their philosophy since conservatism is fundamentally about hating America.
I know we’ve got Assrocket and Free Republic’s RimJob, but is Rugged in Montana the most barely-subconsciously gay conservative handle in the short history of the internet?
Dude. This sentence is so beleaguered its waving a white flag.
One man’s revolutionary is another man’s terrorist. The fact that you, Pinky of the Great Gun, cannot grasp this places you firmly in the Doughy Pantload Camp of Willful Ignorance.
It does have that Brokeback Mountain feel, no?
George Washington was not a terrorist, he was a revolutionary
See? This is where we are. The motherfuckers did it again, and we let them. Remember a long time ago, back in the distant past, where the word “Terrorist” actually meant something concrete?
A terrorist was someone who employed terror tactics. He might have been a revolutionary, an insurgent, or just a disgruntled hater with a screw loose. The only thing that defined a terrorist, indeed, the only thing that COULD, was that it was someone who employed the tactic of terrorism, long a part of asymmetric warfare doctrine.
Just as you cannot be a “motorist” without operating a moving vehicle, you couldn’t be a terrorist without committing an act of terror. Now? Who can even tell me what a 28 percenter, or even the military or the media, means exactly when they describe someone as a terrorist. It’s as if the definition of “motorist” suddenly was expanded to include people who were merely looking at automotive magazines. If they fight coalition or NATO forces in Iraq or Afghanistan, by definition they are NOT terrorists, the are resistance fighters or insurgents. If they have the misfortune of being killed by Israeli collective punishment war crimes, they are not then automatically terrorists.
And most certainly, just because they follow one deluded and ridiculous religion rather than another, they are not terrorists. Seriously, this allowing the politicians, pundits and media to change the definition of simple words has got to stop. We are not at war in Iraq. That war ended in May 2003. We are an occupation. But you’d never know it from the talk.
Oh. And the very definition of America’s political system, which any wingnut will tell you is the bestest ever on any planet in the galaxy, is Liberal Democracy. Liberal is not a bad thing. It is not evil, and it does NOT mean the same thing as “communist”.
Jeez, these fuckers piss me off these days….
mikey
Benjamin Franklin served as the American ambassador to France during the American Revolution and was quite the ladies man.
Thomas Edison invented the lightbulb and the radio.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt was the longest serving American President in office from 1932 until his death in 1945.
George Washington was the commander of American colonial forces during the French and Indian war in which the Chief of one of the hostile Indian nations fired on him repeatedly with his rifle and George Washington as a very devout man was under the Divine Protection from God as he himself was unharmed without even a flesh wound, the Indian Chief replied “Surely this man posses the Great Spirit” George Washington’s bullet ridden cloak was on display in the Smithsonian until Christian hating President Clinton had it removed from display.
George Washington also served as a vestryman and a preacher in the Episcopal Church.
Rugged’s just getting weird.
Another parody troll. Don’t think deeply about it.
He sure didn’t. What happened to the good American work ethic?
mikey,
If you control the meaning, you control the word.
If you control the words, you control the sentence.
If you control the sentences, you control the paragraph.
If you control the paragraphs, you control the chapter.
If you control the chapters, you control the book.
If you control the book, you control the bookcase.
I believe it was the upright white burghers of Rhodesia (formerly Northern Rhodesia, now Zimbabwe) who pioneered the tactic of calling all their armed opponents terrorists. Nice footsteps to follow — really worked out well for everyone.
Thomas Jefferson’s war against the Barbary Pirates in the early 19th century was America’s first war against terrorism.
The Louisiana Territory was purchased from Napolean in 1803 for about 3 million dollars.
California was settled in 1848 by freedom seeking pioneers during the gold rush.
Alaska was purchased from Russia in 1867.
The Lone Star Republic of Texas became an independent nation in 1835.
I’m quite the historian aren’t I?
Ooooh, look! Pinky’s discovered Teh Great Gazoogle!
The Vermont Republic was an independent nation from 1777-1791 when it joined the Union as the 14th State.
No. Edison was certainly one of the primary figures in the commercialization of the lightbulb, but he did not invent it, and the key innovation that really allowed the modern lightbulb to take off (the tungsten filament) was not invented by him or anyone associated with him.
He had nothing to do with the radio’s invention; depending on how you define invention, top honors there go to Tesla or Marconi.
Edison’s main invention, really, was the R&D department.
So — just to make this clear — America in 1848 wasn’t free? Otherwise, why would the pioneers seek freedom in California?
Very good, Pinky.
Now tell us what you know about the Ludlow Massacre, the Battle of the Washita, William Walker, the Seminole Wars, the Fort Pillow Massacre, Nathan Bedford Forrest, Gen. Smedley Butler, Mohammed Mossadegh, Jacobo Arbenz Guzman, Sacco and Vanzetti, Salvador Allende, Ruben Salazar, The Tulsa Race Riot of 1921 and The Chicago Defender.
And, yes, there is a very good chance you may learn something while trying to find the talking points.
So — just to make this clear — America in 1848 wasn’t free? Otherwise, why would the pioneers seek freedom in California?
Freedom = money, Djur.
There were people in California before 1848.
Texan independence was declared in 1836.
Sacco and Vanzetti were Italian immigrants and anarchist terrorists who were executed by the Federal government in the 1920s.
Plus the pioneers were Americans, and therefore already free. They joined the gold rush for, unsurprisingly, gold. Just like many “freedom-seeking” people came to the US to make enough money to support themselves and their families. Early European Americans were much like the present illegal aliens, coming here to earn a living and sending money home.
And among those freedom-seeking ’49ers were a number of Southerners who brought their slaves. The 1850 census shows about 500 slaves in California.
Quick! Who were the first two California senators!
Oh, and just to make a larger point here: Don’t expect the parody troll to make serious arguments.
Its only goal is attention. Which is another good reason to ban it.
Actually, where would we be without trolls? They energize discussion, bring up new topics of discussion, and let us bond by having a common enemy.
Thanks, troll!
Yes, but the reason those early European immigrants ( who were lawful by the way) sent money back home was so their families could also lawfully immigrate to America.
His name is Pinky.
And he can’t even Google right:
FAIL.
Sacco and Vanzetti were Italian immigrants and anarchist terrorists who were
executedwrongfully killed by the Federal government in the 1920s.Fixed.
California’s first two Senators were John C. Fremont a Republican and John B. Weller a Democrat.
California became our 31st State in 1850 before that it was an independent nation know as the California Republic.
Sacco and Vanzetti were two typical liberals who did not renounce and reject their connections to Bill Ayers and for that reason they were caught by the Patriot Act.
Did you see what I did with those anarchistic bastards the other day I guess that will hold them for a while! Let them go to the Supreme Court now and see what they can get out of them!
That Tooley smiles like a fox eating shit out of a wire brush.
Sacco and Vanzetti were Al Qaida agents sent by Saddam Hussein to bring down the World Trade Towers.
For this crime, Ronald Reagan personally arrested them and sentenced them to death, with the help of J. Edgar Hoover and Richard M. Nixon.
Liberals run their mouths off on how they oppose torture but they never seem to mention any other suggestions of how to do it. It’s always easier to criticize than do something positive.
Jeez, Saul’s really begging for attention this morning. Must be feeling especially insecure today.
Mom probably beat him for wetting the bed again.
On the other hand, I guess this does serve as an enlightning object lesson in the problems with NCLB and the whole teach to the test mindset….
mikey
Sadly, no.
WIlliam Gwin served as California’s Senator from 1850 to 1855. Weller succeeded Fremont in 1852.
Never have so many been so wrong about so much.
Also, your information on the California Republic is horribly misleading.
It was a local incident that lasted for a month or so and was not recognized by most of the state. Heck, most of the people in the state probably didn’t hear about it until it was over.
Pinky, thanks for giving us something testable!
And thanks so much for running away, thus strengthening our very negative view of conservatives in general.
It still was an independent nation, if only for a month. And was the sight of the gold rush which made alot of Americans very wealthy by the Grace of God.
Let’s give the troll some math problems. I want to see him work out how 10 + 10=1010.
The Red, White and Blue never run.
Only a sex obsessed liberal pervert would see anything sick and disgusting about a name like Rugged in Montana.
The left by their very nature are perverts.
At least Knobby here has the decency to have a blog to refer to…
It’s a gang bang!
Am I misunderstanding you?
Sonoma was not the site of any of the gold fields. It was also not within the sight of the gold fields.
Thank you for establishing your credibility on issues regarding history. Maybe the Hoover Institute will hire you? Imagine rubbing shoulders with Thomas Sowell!! (Hold your breath.)
Be a man and admit to your very embarrassing errors.
And then waffle and tell us about how you’re still correct even if you got a few of the facts wrong. That’s the conservative way.
Mark Tooley = M. Yak Tooler & Yr Tool Me
And that is central to my point.
Oh, I’ve got many em-bare-ass-ing errors.
I am a Scorpio, so I’m told it comes with the territory.
Come on, Knobby, give us your best shot!
What you got?
We need a troll around here that doesn’t suck. Could you be that troll?
Don’t listen Rugged in Montana! “Rubbing shoulders” is obviously some disgusting liberal slang for something to disgusting to contemplate.
Rubbing shoulders with Thomas Sowell isn’t too disgusting to contemplate?
FAIL!
I’m having trouble believing that Knobby isn’t a parody.
This isn’t fair. You know more about it than he does.
By the way, I heard that some blacks owned slaves. Liberals don’t want you to know that because it proves that there is no racism in America.
Liberals. Hmf.
Exactly, the left are obssessed with homosexual sex and with immorality in general, which will eventually bring about their downfall at the ballot box.
I’m afraid that it is you pearl-clutchers that are obsessed with Teh Ghey.
We tend to live and let live, without too much thought about what other people do in the privacy of their own homes.
Only a sex obsessed liberal pervert would see anything sick and disgusting about a name like Knob Goblin.
Knob Gobble? Whats sick about that?
Pinky’s got a new friend.
His moniker is ‘the Gobbler’.
That is all.
“Rubbing shoulders” is obviously some disgusting liberal slang for something to disgusting to contemplate.
Oh it is, it most certainly is.
It’s what our fearless leader Idiotboy Chimpy McFuckstain did to German Chancellor Angela Merkel.
And it was indeed, too disgusting to contemplate. I certain to this day she showers with abrasive cleanser, lye soap and a wire brush trying to remove the stain…
mikey
You know, Pinky, I don’t blame you a bit for changing the subject.
If I was a typical conservative, with no shame, no honor, no morals and no decency, I would also be tempted to switch to something else if I was shown to be so mind-numbingly ignorant about American history.
New Jersey was the first State to allow women’s suffrage in 1790 before it was abolished in the State Constitution in 1844. After that Wyoming Terrirory was the first to permanently allow for women’s suffrage in 1869.
Speaking of Matt Margolis:
Jordan Golson from Cheese and Crackers has apparently threatened legal action against 13 year old blogger Austin from Austin’s Blog:
HundredPercenter story: (a must read)
Austin’s Mom:
Our server contacted me that Jordan Golson was representing Matt Margolis(Blogs for Bush) for copyright infringement.
Who was Elijah Lovejoy and what was his connection to the unpleasantness at Harper’s Ferry in 1859?
Elijah Lovejoy was an American Presbyterian Minister and Journalist who was murdered by a mob because he was an abolitionist.
Hoosier- Man, you’re just giving him the wiki search clues.
Must be more oblique!
King Philips War 1675-1676 pitted the Southern New England Colonies and their Indian allies against hostile Indian tribes seeking to enact genocide against the English Colonists.
The fact is, women should have to suffer, but they wanted to. We men would have taken good care of them. Now they forfiet our protection and whine about some imaginary freedom they are entitled to. Crazed feminist liberal gay communist classwar claptrap.
America is under attack.
Here in the heartland, we’re fighting back.
Of course my husband doesn’t suck, you sick creep!
He is making so many errors, I believe his arrogance and his lack of reading comprehension skills are messing him up pretty badly. That question about the Calif. senators was a giveaway … and he STILL got it wrong.
I have to go to work pretty soon anyway.
He gets half-credit for the half of the question on Elijah Lovejoy that he answered. The most amazing thing about the Alton riot (as the killing of Lovejoy was called) was that it didn’t happen in a free state; it happened in Alton, Illinois, just across the river from St. Louis, Mo.
!!! Did I hear someone mention homosexuals? May I join in?
Correction: I should have said:
Gary’s right. The communists, feminists and homosexual activists are seeking to destroy America’s established traditons and want to replace them with their own morally repugnant marxist world view.
I agree with Gary and Montana. The fact is, the communists, feminists and homosexual activists are seeking to destroy America’s established traditons and want to replace them with their own morally repugnant Marxist worldview.
Alright, who left the barn door open interrobang
America is under attack.
Here in the heartland, we’re fighting back.
…with Prevacid™, America’s number one remedy for heartburn and the agony of gas!
***
He was so rugged, I couldn’t sit down for a week!
Well, Montana Rugburn does do a couple of favors by pointing out that torture is basically done to scare large groups, not to get information. That ticking bomb scenario is for suckers. And second, that guns are most useful in the hands of trained professionals, as opposed to the usual bunch of slack jawed goat fuckers.
I want to see him work out how 10 10=1010.
Hm, that one’s got me stumped, unless the ” ” is concatenation instead of addition.
It does remind me of the saying “There are 10 kinds of people in the world – those who understand binary and those who don’t.”
Oops, the plus-signs disappeared!
Completely OT: We just had a cold front slam into the area. Insane winds, pressure drop, black clouds, falling branches, hail…
Hail!? Shit! A tornado’s coming! Fuuuuck!
I just found out how long it takes me to round up and crate three cats (who don’t appreciate rounding up or crating), grab the laptop and wallet.
But by then the sky had cleared.
The other America-destroying Christian hater in the house is still laughing but the cats are pissed.
That’s why they can stay in the crates a bit longer.
Err, Rugged? Shouldn’t you be out patrolling your state with a rifle strapped to your back? You never know when Marxists might be crawling around in the high grass, ready to pick off innocent Montanaites with their weird calibre ordinance!
***
I have my M1A Battle Rifle with me in my basement while I’m posting.
Because you never know when the Islamorusskiefascistguevaras will storm the basement, looking for nearly empty cans of paint and broken chairs.
So how did you make that mistake about California’s senators? That was a giveaway. Is conservapedia not a good source, or are you just really sloppy?
I have my M1A Battle Rifle with me in my basement while I’m posting.
I hope you’re sandbagging fighting positions down there in between postings….damned Marxists are wiley bastards!
Here is Rugged, facing down a CHUD.
The fact is, so called facts coming from liberals are mostly lies in the service of one world government or the gay internationale. They SAY they are facts, but they are lies from liers.
It rubs the lotion into Sowell’s shoulders or else it “gets the hose” again.
Or, they’re lias from liars.
The fact is, thanks to Buggered Gary Saul Boogers, I can’t hear anyone say “The fact is” without cracking up.
Gary. I mean this from the bottom of my heart. Cognitive behavioural therapy and neuroleptics are viable treatment options.
That photo is just plain scary. The grotesque face, the gleaming eyes- Ug! Then there is the striped shirt and glow-in-the-dark tie. Easy to imagine him pulling the rubber face off to reveal a scaly green lizard with red eyes: MUCH nicer.
PUT THE LOTION IN THE BASKET!
Oh, Precious….
I’d fuck me.
Is there some kind of wingnut troll contest going on here?
I can see what’s happening here and it isn’t pretty.
If you give one of the dungeon dwellers (AKA The Cheetos Brigade) some attention another one jumps in to try to get some of said attention.
Their hunger for attention comes from the way their parents are raising them right now. It is very confusing to trusting little souls like wingnuts when their parents alternate between beating them and have having sex with them, often at the same time.
> are lies from liers.
I’m not sure what that means. It sounds a lot better, and probably a lot closer to your intent, to say “tunes from lyres”.
FIxed it for ya’ll. Hope you’re grateful for the edumacation you’re getting here.
We have constructed pyramids in honor of our escaping
This is the land where the Pharaoh died.
Here in the heartland, we’re fighting back.
I keep trying to tell you guys: Nothing happened!
It puts the Joe Dirt in the hole…
If you give one of the dungeon dwellers (AKA The Cheetos Brigade) some attention another one jumps in to try to get some of said attention
Rugged ain’t no Cheeto-eater…he more or less lives off of pemmican, sliced with a hand forged Bowie knife.
***
The unconstitutional 16th amendmet [sic] was ratified in the year 1916 the first time in our nation’s history that an income tax was imposed.
Erm… Actually, the first income tax was under Lincoln, created to fund the Civil War. I believe it lasted about 10 years.
And the 16th Amendment was actually ratified in 1913.
And as for “unconstitutional,” well — “The Congress shall have power to lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises” pretty much seems to cover it, to me.
But you know, other than those few details, you’re 100% historically, grammatically, and orthographically correct on the topic.
No, that takes place here.
Since you brought it up.
Vies with Detachable Penis for the Song Most Likely to Make You Snarf Your Drink Across the Room Prize.
You’re talking to me all wrong… It’s the wrong tone. You do it again and I’ll stab you in the face with a soldering iron. Hey, tell me, does your mother sew? BOOM. Get her to sew that!
Any line from Joe Dirt is infinitely more entertaining than any of these rodents scurrying around here.
I don’t read Gary/Saul/Montanna’s comments, but I do enjoy the replies to them. Imagine the person in the photo above in a cage being poked with sharp sticks and pelted with rotten veges. Sadly’s way of feeding trolls.
Joe Dirt was crap. Assault on Precinct 13–now that was a movie!
Shame on each and every one of you for missing it. The parody troll finally came clean. When it said it was posting from the basement, it was finally letting on that it’s all a joke. It HAD to. It had already gotten stupid and painful. What’s the point of putting all that effort into parody trolling if people are just going to miss the joke, y’know?
Now that its out in the open, it can stop now. If not, no point in playing anymore. The game is at an end…
mikey
Joe Dirt was crap. Assault on Precinct 13–now that was a movie!
A White Hot Night of Hate!
Susan, I thought you and I were, like, sympatico.
How you have crushed me with your harsh words!
Mikey, cats play with mechanical mice, too. It’s the batting around that counts, not the nummy flesh.
But this troll sure is dull.
PS:
Arky! Sweet.
That whole lotion scene from Silence is the gift that just keeps on giving.
t4toby, I apologize. Joe Dirt was….uh…..heartfelt?
At least Pinky didn’t start telling us how FDR caused the Depression, and then provoked those nice, peaceful Japanese and Germans into going to war with us.
Good show, little fella!
Too Late!
My soul is crushed by your slightly less than charitable words.
I’m going to fix this by having my mommy get me a sweet book deal.
You haven’t heard the last from me!!!< /pantload>
When it said it was posting from the basement, it was finally letting on that it’s all a joke.
A joke? That basement’s filled to the rafters with guns, grub and gold…and when the Marxistislamofascists glass Pever Falls Mall with mini-nukes made out of all of those fluids that Homeland Security is confiscating at the airport, he’s going to be glad for the radiation shielding of those stout hand-built walls!
***
Actually the basement is an ideal place for a computer. No parody there.
Oh noes!! What have I done by championing action movies instead of gross-out humor?!?
Rugged, you have stepped out of character and failed as a parody.
I mean has there ever been a better comedy device than a shit meteor? To eat french fries off of? EvAr???!?
LOLzers!!!
Obviously you don’t appreciate true brilliance when you see it…</stupid>
It rubs the towel upon its skin or else it gets spooge on the keyboard again.
Trolls are indistinguishable from idiots. The only purpose of a troll is to come into a thread and disfigure it with graffiti by saying things guaranteed to get an irritated response.
Since a troll will never admit they’re just kidding, you can’t tell if the troll is an idiot or a troll. Therefore, it’s best to assume that all trolls are, in fact, idiots.
Perhaps the Turing test would prove a useful analogy.
> sliced with a hand forged Bowie knife.
He gets his knives and other weapons from this website.
http://brickarms.com/
You oughta see his arsenal! Enough to fight off all those Arab Brick Men.
yeah. I think I’m done with variations of Gary and Montana. Everything they say is worrisome and troubling. If they’re real people, they obviously need to engage with sensible people in the real world. When pastiche reverts back to actual parody, I’ll be back to join in the laughter.
The very act of trolling is idiotic, so it really doesn’t matter if they’re a fake troll or a real one.
Maybe that’s why WTFuckly was so popular. He was a smart troll, nearly a contradiction in terms.
Don’t get me wrong. There are actually some genuinely funny moments:
…but that’s only because it’s entirely absurd.
> Perhaps the Turing test would prove a useful analogy.
Turing designed his test in a world where such wretched and entrenched stupidity as that displayed by wingnuts didn’t exist, except in rare isolated instances who were mostly living in state institutions.
Ever since ronnie “I sold missles to China AND Iran” raygun emptied all the group homes, we’ve been saddled with these deceptively psuedo-sentient beings.
All it takes is a crummy 16-bit 1st-Gen AI program running on a C64 to mimic the Cheetos Brigade. Turing is spinning (in a binary fashion) in his grave since his test is fooled by these “people”.
Geez, I go out and you invite all these lowlifes over!
Tell that unshaven one with the orange fingers to get that damned gun out of my house! And take the other pimply one with him. And tell him to wash once in a while!
“their organs for sale.”
That’s just mean . . . there they are, practicing for their solo at the church next Sunday, and some gov’t type comes up and confiscates their Baldwin . . . what have they got against music? Do they hate Shirley Scott albums too?
Well, you know what they say.
‘Sbetter to have tulips on an organ than roses on a piano.
‘Course, I’m not much of a musician, so what do I know…
mikey
OK, g those two are gone. Now what shall we do with the rest of ’em?
What’s that in your hand, g?
A meat grinder.
You say you want to serve them as meat loaf at the next RepubliCon Hoedown n’ Hootenanny?
Well, as long as you can be certain they won’t get in the rest of the food supply.
And the 16th Amendment was actually ratified in 1913.
And as for “unconstitutional,” well — “The Congress shall have power to lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises” pretty much seems to cover it, to me.
I am also trying to understand how a constitutional ammendment could be unconstitutional – seeing as how it is now a part of the constitution. But then, History wasn’t my favorite subject in high school so I’m not an expert.
It’s clearly visible that the amendment establishing the income tax was composed using Microsoft fonts, whereas back then they used telegraph-based word processors, so it is all fake, just like the moon landing and non-animal-derived gelatin.
Barrayaran said,
I was hoping someone might bring up the question of how an amendment might be unconstitutional, as it is, by definition, a modification to said Constitution. If ratified, doesn’t that make it not only Constitution-al, but the Constitution itself? If using the amendment process to change the meaning of the Constitution is unconstitutional, then aren’t all the amendments bad, even the second?
Help me out here.
Har! Refresh before posting, sez I. Yarrrhhh.
That’s why it takes good patriot American Conservatives like George Bush Jr. to tell which Amendments and other parts of the Constitution count and which do not, like the 4th Amendment which does not help anybody except criminals.
Also Bush Jr. cannot let the Congress get their hands on secret information about what Republicans are doing because the Republicans know what they are doing and Democrats might find excuses to charge them with crimes and stuff, so that is why Bush Jr. stands tall and strong and hard and does not let people comply with subpoenas and stuff and that would be gay.
I had a hed. But El Cid asploded it.
melpomenh said,
March 9, 2008 at 0:22
If they’re real people, they obviously need to engage with sensible people in the real world.
Which, of course, leads to a paradox. Any people engaging with them in the real world are, de facto, not sensible. It’s barely justifiable online.
There used to be a worthy forum for people like that to be introduced to reality in a controlled fashion by reasonable and patient professionals, but, as was mentioned upthread, Reagan emptied out all the group homes.
Arky likes me! she really likes me!
don’t know about where you all are, but right here in the mountains of southern California its a beautiful sunny day with just ahint of mist in the air from the ocean. We just came back from a memorial service for a wonderful lady, and we’re grilling some Alaskan King salmon for dinner later.
It finally stopped snowing, so I’m going to go out and play.
Susan from Texas, you are a pearl beyond price. I don’t think I’ve laughed as much in 20 years. Priceless!
Any people engaging with them in the real world are, de facto, not sensible.
Hey, don’t blame me! I’ve been trying to get him to go downtown and get a job for months now!
Also, Tooley’s “Look. ma! I’m wiping shit on the carpet!” grin places him a close second to Bill Kristol on my list of people that I’d very much enjoy seeing fall face first into an industrial rock crusher.
What is it with the creepy, self-satisfied-at-damaging-others rictus?
That’s a pretty quick 190 comments.
Troll grease.
I just wish these wingnuts would get their message straight. That well-known adulterer Richard Mellon Scaife funds the IRD as does the Christian Reconstructionist Ahmanson family. What do Christian Reconstructionist believe in:
Christian Reconstructionism is a hard-line Calvinist movement that advocates replacing American democracy with a fundamentalist theocracy under strict biblical codes. For example, they would impose the death penalty “by stoning” on everyone from adulterers and homosexuals to incorrigible children and those who spread “false” religions.
Bye-bye Richard Mellon Scaife.
As much as I dislike RMS, I really don’t think that anyone should be stoned to death for adultery. I do however support getting stoned and committing adultery.
Sounds like it’s time for..
Ronald Reagan’s Self – Satisfied Troll Fiesta
Featuring the Karl Rove Troll Marinade…
mikey
Arky “I just get these headaches” The Blasphemer said,
March 8, 2008 at 23:42
Vies with Detachable Penis…
John Hall, of King Missile fame, had a previous band called “You Suck”. That way they could get a rousing cheer from the audience. Similarly, they had a song called “Get the Fuck Off the Stage”, so that they could play requests.
You should hear some of the shit his brother has done.
You know, the memorial service I just got back from marks the first time in probably 2 decades I’ve actually sat through a Catholic mass.
And I gotta say – if I hadn’t already abandoned church-going long ago, I sure would now, mainly because the music is really awful!
The only time the service really sounded great was when they had 2 great soloists who sang “Ave Maria” – the Schubert one. The rest of the time the liturgy sounded like the score for some ’80’s Broadway show that closed in two nights. Such bland, boring, middle of the road anthems.
This was a Catholic church in an upper class LA neighborhood. Maybe the music would be better in a more diverse church, but – meh!
What is it with the creepy, self-satisfied-at-damaging-others rictus?
The rictus is the window to the soul, justme.
Easy to imagine him pulling the rubber face off to reveal a scaly green lizard with red eyes: MUCH nicer.
A reptile wearing that shirt would have to be a Gordon Gecko.
Oh yeah? Let’s how you smile with two wet suits a dildo under your regular clothes, tough guy. Hmmph!
But speaking of clothes, am I the only one who thinks M. Yak Tooler is wearing such a gawdawful outfit in a desperate attempt to be hideously ill-attired and therefore (obviously) not at all, not even a semi-boner in the locker room gay?
Sadly, No.
I’m not religious, but I’ve been in some churches with some pretty damned good music. Black churches of course, but a few that have some country-inspired musicians.
Tossed Omnipresent Jackal with Grilled Berries
Ingredients:
2 tablespoons gigantic jackal, leerily grated
3 cups falling berry, muscularly salted
1 cup electronic owlet’s wing, encouragedly crushed
6 jars natural skunk tentacle, toasted
1 pound baking soda
1 cup coffee
Pre-heat your George Foreman grill to 237 Celsius. Pick over the ingredients stringently and discard excess ceramic. Place the jackal into a large saucepan. Mash the berry with the owlet’s wing over medium heat in a jar. Sprinkle resulting mixture over the jackal. Stir the skunk tentacle, baking soda, and the coffee dramatically. Heap the latter combination on to the former. Bake for 127 hours. Serves 11.
Hey, Pinky in Montana is here!
Still hatin’ on the real American values, I see.
If it’ll save another toddler from being shot in the head, I’m willing to keep all kinds of pie around.
As for The Tool, it’s interesting to find out what John Stamos’ brain-damaged twin is up to, now that he’s finally out of jail after that flashing-the-Olsen-twins incident…
Ok, I don’t know crap about the music they play ’cause I have this thing about going into churches (I know, for somebody who’s not superstitious I sure have a lot of those “things”), but I AM a gigantic Maria McKee fan.
And when “Soap, Soup and Salvation” comes up on the iPod?
The volume gets maxed to twelve….
mikey
The last Catholic funeral I attended was for an ex-boss who wasn’t much of a church-goer, but the rest of his family was. All of his children went up and read ‘life is sin and the only death can free us’ type verse and the priest made sure to mention that the deceased hadn’t really been involved in the church all that much, and at one point even got his name wrong! When that happened, I almost booed and walked out, but my current boss and half of the architectural community in the Twin Cities was there. It would have been a career-ender.
I remember guitar mass at good old St. Pat’s. A group of seven or so lame-ass teenagers with no discernable singing or musical skills, some of us (ahem) hung over on Sunday morning at the ripe old age of 15, up in front of the church singing insipid hymns and, of course, Ave Maria. I’ll bet our poor old priest had to suck down a LOT of Scotch afterwards to get that performance out of his head.
I love pipe organ, though. Pipe organ rawks!!!!
I would nominate RB for the “Most creative and fucking hilarious use of JanusNode” Oscar or Grammy or PEN award, if only those hidebound gatekeepers could see the value in the the new artforms.
“1 cup electronic owlet’s wing, encouragedly crushed”
THAT was some vintage troll shredding. This is fun for me. I would like to thank you all for indulging my perverse hobby.
Hoosier, are you . . . panting?
Hoosier, there’s a nazi troll two threads down. Feel free to engage in some good shreddin’.
“troll-shredding.” that’s a great phrase.
Stay tuned for a JanusBubba recipe featuring shredded troll on a bed of whimsically curdled logic . . .
I used to call it troll baiting, but I think they’re the ones who do the baiting.
I’ll have to beg off on the Nazi thread. I’m at work now. Sounds like fun though.
The nazi troll has possiblities, Hoosier. However, I think it may have fled the premises.
the priest made sure to mention that the deceased hadn’t really been involved in the church all that much, and at one point even got his name wrong! When that happened, I almost booed and walked out
True story: My grandmother, cradle Catholic and Dragon Empress — the sort of mother who thinks Livia Soprano was a weak sister — never used the given name on her birth certificate. At her funeral mass (she deliberately starved herself to death, age 90, when she realized her memory was slipping), when the priest eulogized ‘Mary Sue’, there was actually a wave of confusion in the pews as people wondered who he might be talking about or if he’d wandered into the wrong service. But we found out afterwards that she’d been ‘Mary Sue’ to her confessor and *only* to her confessor… she was practising her religion under a ‘false’ name. I don’t think she believed her God wouldn’t recognize ‘Rosie’, but she expected Him to give her credit for living her unabashedly self-centered daily life under a pseudonym!
And I should add for the record that I only hope I can someday live up to the Empress’ high standard of self-regard…
I happen to know that Rugged lives on Brokeback Mountain. Not that it means anything but sheep are decidedly nervous when he walks outside. Its so typical of the pseudo-butch pretend cowboys. Fucking livestock and worshiping the chimp.
The nazi troll has possiblities, Hoosier. However, I think it may have fled the premises.
It’s back, now working under the “Ethnosectarian” handle.
Mark Tooley; a tool’s tool. It’s great the interbet is here to alow to identify this rogue’s gallery of chalatans.
“Charlatans” that is.
Pinky’s performance in this thread has debased the entire concept of a Random Trivia Cage Match.
I felt sorry for Pinky after a while.
Not sorry enough to ease off, mind you.
this isn’t from the social-justice Methodists at all, but from a foundation-funded right-wing front group (run by neocon Catholics) pretending to represent Methodists.
Getting back onto topic, I am forced to report that my “Organic Gardeners 4 Astroturf” lobby group did not bring in the steady income that I’d hoped for. The funding foundations did not come to the party. Evidently some vital ingredient was missing.
However, I remain optimistic about my next venture into this world of press-releases on demand, a group called TIFOC (Turkeys in Favour of Christmas).
The rictus is the window to the soul
…through which the soul itself was defenestrated some time ago.
As far as last comments on a thread go, Smut Clyde, that was a nice one.
Ah, shit, You see what I just did there?
I first came across this Tooley guy when researching Bush’s pastor, Jim Winkler. Turns out in nearly every newspaper the guy was cited in, the same guy – Tooley – would be brought in to “balance” the critique.
Here’s a fun link:
What kind of Christian is pro land mine?
Yeah, there’s always an excuse, we have to cover large stretches of Korea with explosives because not doing so would be even worse.
There’s always some reason to be just a normal asshole instead of a Christian.
As a normal asshole, I wouldn’t really mind, but the hypocrisy bothers me. The right wingers simultaneously embrace Christianity and at the same time work hard to denigrate ideas that are quite clearly in line with scripture. You know, communists are traitors to America even though Acts says that Christ’s followers were communists. We HAVE to have the ability to shoot trespassers in the face, even though Jesus told us not to fight back even if we’re being attacked. We have to torture terrorists even though that’s against… well, essentially everything Christ ever said, ever.
Somehow the right can simultaneously embrace Christianity AND call people traitors for trying to act as Jesus would.
I think Jesus was providing guidelines for living. And the extremist Christians have used those guidelins have adapted with practical solutions. The Bible, you know, is a living document, uh, that must be obeyed TO THE LETTER, except when it’s inconvenient.
Thank God for the clergy for telling them which parts are more important than others … and for providing all those lame rationalizations necessary for cafeteria Christians trying to live in the modern world. (My favorite is that bit about the eye of the needle refering to the name of a narrow gate. Why would you try to get your camel through a narrow gate? Do Christians think the people of the Bible were stupid?)
Hell, I’m still trying to get my camel upstairs. Fuckers can be AMAZINGNLY stubborn when they don’t want to stop watching cartoons.
I’m telling you, if I can’t get that nasty, smelly, spitting, shitting ship-of-the-goddam-desert-my-ASS out of my living room like PRONTO, I’m gonna request a special recipe from Bubba, if you know what I mean, and I think you do…
mikey
(so be honest. Who among us wouldn’t want to live in mikeworld for at least ten or fifteen minutes?)
Did I ever tell you about my encounter with a monkey in business-casual attire in my living room?
It was a moment in time, I’ll give you that…
mikey