Cass On A Hot Tin Roof
Doop-dee-doop, checkin’ the email.
Homosexuals Blaspheme Christ and Mock Christians Again and Again
Well this one seems promising.
MEDIA ADVISORY, March 7 /Christian Newswire/ — “What would homosexuals say if Christians mocked homosexuality by dressing up like flamboyant homosexuals and gathered monthly to burn rainbow flags?
They’d say, “Pass the Chex Mix, I think I’m having an artgasm.” They’d say, “Here’s an extra rainbow flag; burn the outfit.” They’d point at people’s golf shirts and be like, “If that’s what’s hanging in the closet, I’m glad I’m out.” I give up; what would they say?
The Christians would be accused of being hateful bigots.
Or of acting like self-hating homosexuals, which — well, no change there.
Yet, every month homosexuals gather for a drunken “Mass” while dressed in drag as nuns.” said Rev. Gary Cass, of the Christian Anti-Defamation Commission.
Oh, it’s Gary Aldridge Cass again, our Backwards Bataille of Broward.
“This is Christian bashing pure and simple, yet no one condemns it. You have to be willfully ignorant to miss the double standard.”
Yes, pure and simple, this is the exact equivalent of shooting a 17-year-old kid dead on the sidewalk because of how he was dressed. Except just because no one dies or is wounded or inconvenienced, no one condemns it.
On January 28th, 2008 the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence sent out a press advisory promoting “Sisters Saturday Night Mass.” According to their release, the San Diego Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence will present a “Leather Mass” at Bacchus House, Saturday March 8th 2008.
…For charity. Here’s part of the detailed ‘about us’ section of the SD Sisters’ website:
SPI has a long history in helping the community. SPI-SF printed the world’s first safe sex pamphlet, and organized the first known AIDS benefit. When asked, “Why are you mocking nuns?” we answer, “We are nuns!” We do all that traditional nuns have done for centuries. We are 21st-century nuns, free from guilt associated with many traditional religions. SPI worldwide has raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for AIDS and other social causes. We visit the sick, educate and promote safer sex and generally service the community.
Whereas, Gary Cass does what Christ said to do: foment pettiness and anger by appealing to a low sense of thwarted entitlement. Back to his press release:
“The Sisters would like to invite all to come and dance and frolic in the name of “Kink Fetish Fantasy”… [t]he Sisters have a fun night planned for all who attend, Come dressed in your most “SINFULL” Leather Fetish Wear. We have hot music… lots of irreverent Sister fun on stage, and just when you’re pumped up from dancing, The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence will present our Confessional Contest, with prizes for the “Hottest” confession!”
Gary’s hottest confession: He doesn’t have bodybuilding magazines in his basement, and no, you can’t look at them.
Anyway, wow, that was truly off-putting and petty. Hey, here’s a truly compelling and life-affirming alternative:
“Ironically, the homosexual community says they want the church to affirm their sexual behavior and then say nothing when Christ and Christianity are desecrated,” said Cass. “This reveals their true pathological hostility against Christ and the Christian church.”
…Wait, no, strike those phrases. Reverse them.
At least 2 wetsuits in his closet.
I thought that Catholics didn’t count as Real True Christians among Real True Christians. Why is he standing up for nuns?
So one night I’m at this blues show at a club on veterans blvd in redwood city, but I’m tweaking and the alcohol just won’t kick in, and I’m all at loose ends and shit, and the music’s just kinda bugging me. So I walk outside and there’s this nun with this old klunker car smoking and steaming on the side of the street.
So I stroll over to see what’s up. It’s one of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence! I’ve seen ’em at many events, but never got to be part of the, um festivities. The don’t discriminate against straight guys, but there’s quite a competition for funny/clever/entertaining that’s DAMN hard to keep up with. “She” was trying to get into the city to a place on Utah street for a show.
Well. This evening was looking up. I gave her a bump, she gave me a blotter, we got on my scoot, me and this big old drag queen in nun’s clothing, and we rolled up 101 at midnight, laughing and joking. I went into the club when we got there ’cause, well, why WOULDN’T I, and I walked into a party that ended the following Wednesday afternoon.
Damn. You can talk about HA, or Ren Fair, but those damn nuns know how to light it up.
Just sayin…
mikey
Oh yes — the double standard of something that is happening vs. something that one might imagine might happen if one might want to invent an imaginary double standard in order to defend one’s bigoted viewpoint.
Oh. Am I in spam filter hell?
mikey
Erp. Maybe not.
Oh well. I just told my Sister of Perpetual Indulgence story, and it got eaten or something. Too bad. It’s a good story…
mikey
Can you imagine all the kids of ranting christianist parents who are hearing about this and thinking how much fun it would be to go there?
At least 2 wetsuits in his closet.
..and a book about knots.
Homosexuals Blaspheme Christ and Mock Christians Again and Again
Why yes they do! Brings a smile to my face. Thanks for the reminder.
Oh puhleeez. What the fuck would they know about what us blouse wearing poodle walkers would do?
All we care about is making Jesus puke. That’s our raison d’etre.
no doubt sdsisters.org is in mr Cass’s bookmarks, and no doubt what he really doing is pointing to where he really wants to be this weekend: the Mr San Diego Leather Contest.
Two words: John Boswell.
And by the way, that aint no gay mustachios. Not since, at least 1978. The whole clone thing was out by then wasn’t it? gbear? ? ?
and, in other news, igor resigns after calling frankenstein “hillary clinton”…
Wait, his whole complaint here amounts to “No fair, I hit them first”, and he’s hoping for sympathy? Even as a bleeding heart liberal I must confess to nothing but amusement.
And by the way, that aint no gay mustachios.
Of COURSE it’s not.
Sheesh….
mikey
I predict that the Reverend Cass will use this approach again and again to draw attention to a wide variety of sinful behavior.
MEDIA ADVISORY, April 7 /Christian Newswire/ — What would sex-toy users say if the head of the Christian Anti-Defamation Commission scoffed at their perversion by spending his monthly stipend on a full assortment of rubber novelties and two cases of Cornhuskers?
MEDIA ADVISORY, May 7 /Christian Newswire/ — What would bestialitists say if a dynamic crusader against the oppression of Christians derided bestiality by developing a fulfilling relationship with an attractive and tractable goat?
MEDIA ADVISORY, June 7 /Christian Newswire/ — What would the bondage community say if a mustachioed ordained minister ridiculed B&D by attempting to preach a sermon while wearing a gimp suit with a candy-apple red ball gag?
Well, all in all, Jesus was an OK guy. He’s not to blame for what followed. However, I’m all in for the mocking christians again and again part.
Loved the paragraph in the Sisters’ description that starts with “The Sisters have been accused of Ruining It For Evereyone (emphasis theirs) and then proceeding to describe all of the dreadful things that they’re trying to ruin.
I do so *feel* for those persecuted christianist suprmacists. They’re terribly persecuted, you know. Persecuted I say!
‘
Waaaaah! You hit back when I slapped you NO FAIR!!!
What’s worse, we KEEP ON persecuting them by, y’know, using their words against them!
disclaimer:
1. I’m having problems bringing up my green board.
2. The Tanqueray has been flowing.
3. Ubuntu is great for most people but it sucks for the rest of us.
Check out the cover of Cass’ Christian Bashing. It looks someone placed a tomato on top of some tomato sauce. A message I’m missing, or just design incompetence?
Anything good for din din tonight mikey?
And by the way, that aint no gay mustachios. Not since, at least 1978. The whole clone thing was out by then wasn’t it? gbear? ? ?
You know, I was kind of thinking the same thing about that Tom Sellack (sp) mustache, but there’s a segment of teh gay population that doesn’t seem to want to give that up (especially if they like karoke too) so I can’t agree totally. Besides, old clone things just get replaced by new clone things for the guys who need to define themselves thru fashion. Even the bears suffer from clone impulses. So do straight folks.
Ugh. Chad Douglas fans, prolly.
Sorry if that makes anyone puke. Anyone except Jesus. I *like* making Jesus puke.
Sorry. I didn’t mean to make this into a wine/whisky/cuisine/gay pr0n blog. Not really.
http://www.olrl.org/misc/jones_stats.shtml
So, why has there been such a dramatic decrease in vocations to the “real” sisterhoods? Is there a connection between this fact and the amusement “some” individuals take from checking in on the activities of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence? “Some” individuals may be those who actually experienced “education by nun.” Was there a fatal flaw in the concept of signing women up to to nothing but roles that were eternally supportive of the male’s superior position in the Roman Catholic hierarchy?
It is a mystery. Not.
After 8 years in Catholic elementary school where we were educated by sisters who were sometimes well-suited to their jobs and sometimes spectacularly unfit, I can well imagine why we would enjoy hearing about “nuns” who enjoy sensual pleasures. We have memories of nuns who broke down into public hysterical praying fits when confronted with irreverent eighth graders. We remember those delightful women who found it well worth their while to humiliate “test-smart” first-graders. We remember being sent back to our tables at lunch time to consume disgusting helpings of orange-peel infested cranberry salad or something cabbage-related.
Yep, nuns were a mixed bag alright. Almost as though they were assembled at random rather than by some sort of divine decree.
Now, as a person in her fifties, I can appreciate the desperation of some of those women who found out they were totally unsuited to teach young children only AFTER their order had financed their degree in education. Quite the dilemma. Many of them stayed “faithful” much longer than they should have.
For the record, I find the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence a worthy parody, and wish them success in their endeavors.
Ray Charles’s Commendable Gorilla Pie
Ingredients:
1 gorilla
1 blind-worm’s sting, reverberantly scrambled
1 lonely hazelnut, puckishly creamed
2 gallons ambiguous mustang mandible, scrambled
6 jars sage
1 gallon paprika
Pre-heat your George Foreman grill to 400 Kelvin. Pick over the ingredients and discard excess plasterboard. Place the gorilla into a medium bag. Mash the blind-worm’s sting with the hazelnut over medium heat in a bowl. Stuff the resulting goo into the gorilla. Dress – very introspectively – the mustang mandible, sage, and the paprika. Heap everything together. Do not bake for 57 hours. Instead, scramble as if your ache depended on it. Serves 10 tough individuals with primary stomachs.
I remember The Sisters from the Castro Street Fair in SF in the late 1980s. My favorite Sister was “Sister Mary Power-hungry Bitch.”
The Sisters’ performances were always outrageous and funny – and they always passed the hat to raise money for AIDS charities. The charity work appeared to be the core purpose of the organization.
It looks someone placed a tomato on top of some tomato sauce. A message I’m missing…?
To me, it looks a lot like someone placed a tomato on top of some tomato sauce. Couldn’t be much clearer. I’m sure the message is deep, whatever it is.
If only someone had thrown a tomato at Jesus instead of nailing him to a board.
cowalker: But….but….but…
Didn’t we learn nothin from the knuckle rappings?
Da nuns back den were bitches. The nicest ones were the worst.
I despised them. Thouygh I’ll admit tt wasn’t until I went to a Jesuit college that I learned HOW to despise the whole ball’o’wax. So that’s sumthin I guess.
The Early Christians had to worry about crucifixtion, being thrown to the lions, being burned at the stake.
These guys feel they’re suffering because someone’s making fun of them.
If only someone had thrown a tomato at Jesus instead of nailing him to a board.
I feel an RB salad coming on…..
Well duh! The worst trhing you can do is to ridicule someone! It’s much worse than say, slave labor or starvation or forced marches. Or the ovens.
And nothing could be worse than poor typing. Blame the gin.
G’night all.
Well, I’ll have to add crucifixion to the preparation methods file I guess.
G’nite PeeJ & gin.
Tomato-based faith
Yet, every month homosexuals gather for a drunken “Mass” while dressed in drag as nuns.”
Cuz it’s not like, before this, there has been any other institutionalized custom of parading in the streets, wearing costumes and outrageously making fun of virtue and the religious and authoritarian establishment…..
PeeJ: “. . .[i]t wasn’t until I went to a Jesuit college that I learned HOW to despise the whole ball’o’wax. So that’s sumthin I guess.”
It’s absolutely critical. This good girl didn’t learn for a long time where the problems lived. I was confused and conflicted. There were authority issues combined with eating disorders and all kinds of other interesting head-butting issues.
But I’m glad you were able to assess the claims objectively.
I think I’m finally able to do the same.
I went to one of the Sister’s bingo games in San Francisco. It was great fun but I tried to be as invisible as possible out of shyness. If you got picked out by the Sisters for one of their bits, you were in for it. The whole night was a riot, and also a great charity event.
The cool thing about Arabic is that if your language is wiggly lines you’re gonna see stuff written everywhere. I wonder how many vegetables say that your mother fucks donkeys?
“SPI worldwide has raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for AIDS and other social causes. We visit the sick, educate and promote safer sex and generally service the community.”
Oh no, they’re giving a shit about other people. How dare they act like Jesus actually would!
Oh, dear. I knew that Kevin/Gary/Booger/Rugged were a little off their nut, but I’m worried that one of them has gone overboard here:
Britney has a stalker
The troubled singer is said to have been so concerned by the mail, which
included a letter detailing how to make bombs and another containing
“threatening language and weird gibberish”, she has handed all
correspondence over to the FBI (Federal Bureau of Investigation).
The Early Christians had to worry about crucifixtion, being thrown to the lions, being burned at the stake.
That’s because they were burning Rome down and in general being total assholes and trying to collapse the social order because they wanted to bring on the end times. Kind of like now. For the Romans tossing your ass in with the lions was their idea of jurisprudence. Just as Christians thought drowning a woman accused of witchcraft was a legal test to see if she was truly guilty. They have always had this heightened sense of entitlement combined with a victim mentality.
Now as then, we will eventually have to come to blows with the Christian Taliban. They’ll force us to, they will make sure we have no other choice.
mikey said,
Oh. Am I in spam filter hell?
Evidently not… but when Zombie Dante finishes his revised version of the Divine Comedy, Spam Filter definitely deserves its own canto.
It goes without saying that the Paradise section will be all about transhumanism.
Okay, this was easy prey, but every once in a while I like to watch a cheetah take down a warthog.
I is poppin a cap in that warthog’s ass.
Mister Bubba,
Unless you have some sort of top-secret Betty Crocker mad-lids recipe creating program, you are indeed a genius.
MEDIA ADVISORY, March 7 /Christian Newswire/ — “What would homosexuals say if Christians mocked homosexuality by dressing up like flamboyant homosexuals and gathered monthly to burn rainbow flags?
What? Just mocking? No, condemnations of ETERNAL PAIN and SUFFERING? Just mocking? No Brimstone and Fire? No Litany of Snuff pr0n?
I think they’d be relieved…
The Early Christians had to worry about crucifixtion, being thrown to the lions, being burned at the stake. These guys feel they’re suffering because someone’s making fun of them.
Of course wounds to one’s self-esteem are far more traumatic than dismemberment by assorted carnivores, or 3rd degree burns.
MEDIA ADVISORY, June 7 /Christian Newswire/ — What would the bondage community say if a mustachioed ordained minister ridiculed B&D by attempting to preach a sermon while wearing a gimp suit with a candy-apple red ball gag?
Have him dressed in a pair of motorcycle chaps while being flogged –in addition to the above, and the local Xians would probably pay to see it.
Can you imagine all the kids of ranting christianist parents who are hearing about this and thinking how much fun it would be to go there?
Not the kids who’ve discovered their parents’ stash of bodybuilder mags, Gbear. *Those* poor kids are just hoping the ‘rents don’t end up in the headlines…
After 8 years in Catholic elementary school where we were educated by sisters who were sometimes well-suited to their jobs and sometimes spectacularly unfit, I can well imagine why we would enjoy hearing about “nuns” who enjoy sensual pleasures…
I spent 12 years in the neighborhood Dominican parochial school system, and I will agree that the experience turned me into a practicing Pagan. (It also had the side effect of leaving me immune to the Marxist / Libertarian / Objectivist / Conservative bullshite so many of my college fellows succumbed to, because once you’ve survived smallpox you’ve got a lifelong immunity to cowpox.) I remember the good Sisters rather fondly, though, because my high-school teachers in particular were pretty honest about their lives & mixed motives. The head Science teacher, for instance, had a doctorate from Fordham, and while she agreed with some of us fiery proto-feminists (this was 1969-73) that in a just world she might not be “reduced” to working with a handful of blue-collar teenage girls, she also told us that her parents wanted her to drop out of the eighth grade & start bringing in a salary until she discovered her vocation. She really believed she *did* have a “calling” — she was one of the handful of Christians I’ve met who actually tried to live by, say, the Sermon on the Mount — but she didn’t lie to the next generation about the circumstances, either.
And frankly, to a batch of working-class girls in the Bronx, living like a Sister… getting your *own* room, splitting the household chores with two dozen other women, never having to worry about money, not spending the prime 25 years of your life either pregnant or nursing or at least tending 6 or 8 kids… didn’t seem like such a bad bargain, if the only negatives were getting up early to pray and not having sex with men. (Well, and having to pretend you gave a flying what the Monsignor thought, but at least when the nuns lost an argument with the Monsignor he couldn’t insist on ‘make-up sex’ afterwards, or so we assumed.)
two cases of Cornhuskers?
Corn-huskers is good as a remedy for dry skin, say you’ve been installing grout on tile floor, that can really dry out your hands, Corn-huskers is just the thing.
IIRC, to facilitate the use of a sex toy, one wants a good water-based lubricant such as ID Glide.
Also, once you’ve survived the Unification Church, you have a lifelong immoonity.
You know, I was kind of thinking the same thing about that Tom Sellack (sp) mustache, but there’s a segment of teh gay population that doesn’t seem to want to give that up
I just realized that the biggest segment of teh gay population that has that Gary Cass moustache is the closeted segment. That must have been the look that first sparked their hidden motors, and they haven’t allowed themselves to progress past that model of gorgeosity since. The on-line gay sites are chock full of secretive guys who look like they got stuck in 1977. Maybe they’re just using old photos, I don’t know.
The cool thing about Arabic is that if your language is wiggly lines you’re gonna see stuff written everywhere.
You ought to try runes, then, or ogham —
Oi you, rock! Take that back!
No-one gives a futhark for runes.
That’s because they were burning Rome down and in general being total assholes and trying to collapse the social order because they wanted to bring on the end times. Kind of like now.
Maybe, but wasn’t there also something about people abandoning the Roman religion because they no longer really believed in it, and Christiantity thriving in the vacuum?
Throwing people to the lions wasn’t jurisprudence, it was entertainment!
The SPI: Sisters nun pariel.
RIghteous Bubba, thank goodness I wasn’t drinking coffee.
Annie Laurie, and the nuns got to go to college. They probably ended up a teacher or nurse, but to be able to study and learn is out of reach of so many women.
“And those bitches never invite me!” Rev. Cass sniveled as gazed at the chaps that have been gathering dust in the closet.
Rather like Rev. Cass.
Here’s the thing. If Christianity, you know, the religion with the best God and ring-side seats to the apocalypse and eternal bliss & everything; If Christianity, the religion that withstood repeated attempts to stamp it out when it first began; If Christianity, the religion that withstood real warfare with casualties and torture and all that fun stuff; If Christianity now trembles at the existence of men in drag, then my friends, Christianity is well and truly fucked.
People like Cass inadvertently (?) make a bigger joke out of their religion than the SPI ever could.
Also Gary Cass = CRASS GAY.
And that is central to my point.
ASS CRAGY
10 inches and counting in Columbus
Columbus Dispatch, OH – 8 minutes ago
It snowed all night, and it’s getting biblical out here in Ohio now.
Dog is punishing us for voting for Hillary.
Unless you have some sort of top-secret Betty Crocker mad-lids recipe creating program, you are indeed a genius.
Um, I do. I am not a genius.
[sobbing quietly]
I’m not a homosexual but I do blaspheme and mock Christians. Can I get some of that sweet, sweet hate too?
Oh, and John Stossel called. He wants his mustache and hair back.
I’ll say. Those recipes never turn out properly, and of course everyone just blames the cook when the Gila Monster is non-fizzy.
A message I’m missing, or just design incompetence?
Well, see, the tomato represents your average persecuted Christian and the sauce represents the blood of Christ which, being Christian, you’re bathed in. The white background symbolizes all of those dirty heathen Liberal Islamomexifacists who want to rape your children and steal your women, and because you’re Christian, you’re standing apart from them, spreading the red stain of Jesus’ saucy, bloody goodness. Or something.
Or it’s one of those awesome specialty tomatoes that is perfectly genetically engineered to produce tomato sauce.
Or it could be a facsimile of a thrown tomato. Which is lame.
10 inches and counting in Columbus
Columbus Dispatch, OH – 8 minutes ago
Wow. Columbus really knows how to please their partner.
of course everyone just blames the cook when the Gila Monster is non-fizzy.
The upcoming JanusNode “dealing with company” module should provide infallible answers to such dilemmas.
linda lovelace said,
March 8, 2008 at 17:29
10 inches and counting in Columbus
Columbus Dispatch, OH – 8 minutes ago
Wow. Columbus really knows how to please their partner.
Sproing!
14 inches, baybee! And counting…
Jesus walked into a motel and threw a couple of nails on the counter.
He said to the clerk, “Can you put me up for the night?”
BA-DOOM! (or whatever sound effect you want to use to simulate a Carson show joke circa 1978)
And back hair.
Jebus, haven’t the Sisters been around for decades at this point?
I remember them out and about from my 1980’s San Francisco childhood.
I guess wingnuts are slow and dumb.
Howdidy-doodily, Saddiddily-No! I don’t want to sound like a Negative Nelly but I’m starting to get a little worried that Gary Cass isn’t planning to return the ol’ cookie duster. How exactly someone borrows a mustache I can’t rightly say, it’s the ding-dong-diddliest thing, but anywhoo, if you see him I’d be much obligearoonied if youwould remind him about that — the old upper lip’s feeling mighty lonely.
Hey, lookit here, Mr. Oxycontin.
You keep rippin off jokes from The Crow, don’t come whining to me if the ghost of Brandon Lee comes over to your house and does some righteously scary shit.
I mean, c’mon now, there’s some places where angels fear to tread…
mikey
The Sisters perpetrated my absolute favorite heckle of all time when the Pope visited San Francisco: Popo Go Homo.
[…] is seeming familiar. Evidently, Pastor Swank has been checkin’ his email. They would be hauled over the coals. They would be castigated by every liberal organization […]
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