r0xx0rz!1one11eleven!!!
~

I need an akvavit to get rid of the taste of that video. In fact I may need to bathe in akvavit.
Even now, faint transmissions of that video are washing past Epsilon Eridani. Will no-one think of the extra-terrestrials?

Y’know, I was more or less sentient in 1978 (high school – nuff said). I am deep, deep, deep into denial about the pop culture of my youth. I want for this to have been ironic at the time of its creation, but alas. Alas.

That was just wrong. And you had to dredge it back up out of the past? Shame on you.

I was expecting Elizabeth Berkley showing her norks.

You. Bastards.

Ah, what the hell. I’ll check it out. How bad can it be?

Huh? Now I’m really confused.

I thought the whole point was the vids were supposed to, you know, suck?

This ones pretty good. Tappin my toe.

Heh heh, dark haired babe with the black leather stud collar’s sure hot.

Oh yeah, there she is again. She can ignite my thrusters. Heh heh.

Damn! You see that? Was that nipples?

There! The blonde! Those ARE nipples. Her rig is see thru. That starts my maneuvering rockets.

Thanks Gavin. That kicked ass. Don’t know how the scoring in this game works, but as I THOUGHT I understood it, your perimeter has collapsed and you got Trex in the wire. Fall back and regroup. Maybe a Michael Jackson vid can lead your counter attack?

‘Course, no way I’m watchin THAT….

mikey

Most dreaded words on set?

“Cut! Let’s try that again.”

Boy, she really falls hard for the gay guys.

Followed closely by:

“Ok, cue the music!”

What you fail to understand is that, like chemical and biological warfare, this kind of attack is all too prone to blowing back and destroying your own people. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??

Also, I think there might have been some sexual innuendo in that video. Is that the sort of thing a family blog like this really wants to get into?

I blame Balloon Juice agents provocateur for this.

How would this stack up against Rogered in Montana’s firepower, I wonder?

Ok, so maybe geeky white guy solo dancing in public, even in those white Pat Boone loafers, doesn’t suck like this video…even if only because geeky white guy solo dancing in public is dancing to some kickazz tunez. But I still loved this video.

BTW, geeky white guy does a lot of solo dancing in public, though to his credit his taste in music seems to be pretty damn good….

What? Did TRex reanimate?

You’ve already exposed us to Tex Haper in the past … and he has such a vast selection to choose from. Bring him back.

Yeah, I enjoy that geeky white guy too.

Ze goggles! Zey do nuthink!

I certainly hope you are not implying that Missing Person’s “Destination Unknown” (as seen on TRex’s page) is anything but teh awesome.

In any case, I’m sick of being caught in the crossfire.

R & D

Indeed, it is there. (J— wins the Internet.)

Uh…someone needs to tell Nina Hagen…ixnay on the armpit airhay.

Well, there’s a nostalgia-killer.

These vids aren’t wicked enough…

Jennifer.

I dunno. Seems to me to be a personal decision.

Not making a judgment here, but honestly?

I’ve got NO problem with the armpit hair. Grows there naturally. Why’s that bad?

mikey

Girl from UNCLE said,

Wonder-Spider Woman can haz a fly!

Pleasure of Love?

Oh come off it, Hot Gossip allowed many a lonely lad to get to sleep at night.

Wow. Just….wow.

I’m not doing this in the intended spirit. I picked up a used copy of ‘A Saucerful of Secrets’ this evening so I’m watching the video while listening to Set The Controls For The Heart Of The Sun. The video almost works as an interpretive dance to that song…

If anyone is interested in checking this out, that video is the exact same tempo as the Pink Floyd song. It’s pretty bizarre.

A self defence video for the Dr. Missus Ole Perfesser.

ok… that’s evil.

mikey – ugh. Not my thing. And hair traps stink, which I suppose for ladies who “glow” rather than “sweat” is not such a problem. Too bad I’m no lady.

THE GLITTER!!! IT BURNS!!!!

I still don’t think anything’s as bad as Touch My Bum.

The fact is, all of this degenerate art compares nothing to this:

The fact is, this also says it to the liberals face:

Here ya go, Gary:

I’m pretty sure that this is as bad as it gets. It can’t possibly get any worse, can it?

If it’s parody that you’re looking for, Gary:

My salamander just died after nearly 14 hours – he was the love of my self-pitying life. He took a speak & spell to the skull and died some hours thereafter. Just this side of San Francisco is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When a salamander dies that has been filthily close to someone here, that salamander goes to Rainbow Bridge.

I’ll keep your salamander in my prayers tonight. There must be a marshy heaven somewhere with an amphibious jesus to welcome him home.

Rightwingsnarkle said,

I’m pretty sure that this is as bad as it gets. It can’t possibly get any worse, can it?

You can never know how bad it can get.

You will PAY for this, Gavin.

MWAH-HA-HAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

My salamander died. I have mounted his head on a plaque to hang on the wall alongside the heads of okapis and ibices.

“Righteous Bubba said,
March 6, 2008 at 23:22
The fun begins here.
That was pretty funny.”

This “dog-piling” is exactly the sort of PC behavior that Jonah Silverberg discusses in his seminole NYTimes bestseller “Liberal Fascism”. You people might want to read it.

Look, men and women are different, its been proven time and time again thru scientific studies. Historically, women are better at agricultural tasks, while men are better at running the clan. There is a reason that there are few female CEO’s or world leaders, they are just not suited for the task. American women in particular are uniquely unsuited. Want to know the temperature to bake a mac’n’cheese, how to iron a shirt or the details of Luke and Laura’s reunion on Guiding Light, ask a woman. Want someone to field an easy part-time job like housewifery, marry a woman. But want someone to run a company, a state, the world’s largest military?

Women have their place, dress them up in a cheerleader outfit or a bikini and let them get the word out. Put them in a music video. But seriously, would any of you vote for any of those broads to run anything?

For eight years, America has suffered the humiliation of an uninspired, under-qualified, chicken-hawk president. Living in your comfortable Soho lofts you probably have no idea how much damage this has done to your country.
Now you want to elect an uninspired, under-qualified broad as president?

You people are nuts.

Um, excuse me, you fucking idiot.

My brother Robert wrote “Dying Inside”.

I drink beer.

Jonah Fucking Goldberg wrote that piece of tripe.

To quote Herr Clyde. Feck.

Troll quality is truly in the bucket….

Werd, Randall.

We’ve gotta lotta wild Moose Limb people, too.

Barbara Bush said,
March 7, 2008 at 6:59

We’ve gotta lotta wild Moose Limb people, too.

Exactly. Just like you wouldn’t want Barbara Bush in your eighties techno video or a cheerleadar outfit or vblogging from the beach in a bikini , you wouldn’t want her running your business. She’s better off in the kitchen making lemon bars-
http://www.astray.com/recipes/?show=Barbara%20bush's%20lemon%20bars

And for that other troll upthread,you aren’t fooling anybody, You are not the real Jonah Silverberg. Get a life looser.

“Now you want to elect an uninspired, under-qualified broad as president?”

Correction- should be*
Now you want to elect an uninspired, under-qualified CHIKENHAWK broad as president?

Ain’t bad. Ain’t no Jonzun Crew, but ain’t bad. I must say, I like this thing where we post good videos much better than that other thing, where we posted horrible videos.

Sifu Tweety said,
March 7, 2008 at 7:30

Ain’t bad. Ain’t no Jonzun Crew, but ain’t bad. I must say, I like this thing where we post good videos much better than that other thing, where we posted horrible videos.

At least the videos you post aren’t all about objectifying women. You’re more about goofing on the queers.

I have a funny feeling that Randall Byrd is posting while Mrs. Byrd is out at the PTSA meeting.

Randall, you better make sure the dishes are done before she gets back!

Just an observation.

A year ago, it was rare a thread went a hundred.

But it was funny, and kind, and seldom willfully ignorant or intentionally offensive.

Gary was the troll, with very occasional guest appearances from jose chung.

But I dunno, g. If this is progress, I’m not grooving on it.

Randall just makes me a little nauseous….

mikey

g said,
March 7, 2008 at 7:39

Randall, you better make sure the dishes are done before she gets back!

g, I’ve seen you around here for awhile, I’m thinking you are old enough to realize that the “funny feeling” you are having is about picturing Malkin in a cheerleader outfit and Barbara Bush in a bikini.
Please stop. You are not helping.

mikey said,
March 7, 2008 at 7:46

mikey

Dude, someday this war’s gonna end!

Randall, listen, I know you’re hurting. You were hoping for that promotion – corporate was opening the new store out on the beltway with the brand new Playplace and you were really hoping you’d get to be a new Senior Team Leader. But they offered the position to that blonde over at the Second Street store. Ever since she turned you down for a date, you’ve hated her. So this is really a bitter, bitter pill for you.

I can understand why you got to drinking, and thinking how unfair it is, and how they just didn’t understand what you had to offer.

But, Randall, give it a rest, huh? cause I know they’ve scheduled you for the weekend night shift, and you really need to get your sleep. I hope you’re home and not driving.

Not to mention – geez – when Mrs. Byrd gets home from the meeting, and finds you drunk on the couch, you’re really gonna get in trouble.

Oh dear. Here’s another story for Ace and Michelle and the A-Team to debunk:

Puppy cruelty video

As we all know, American soldiers are never cruel to animals, so it’s time for the flying monkeys to determine whether the uniforms in the video are regulation.

g said,
March 7, 2008 at 8:02

Not to mention – geez – when Mrs. Byrd gets home from the meeting, and finds you drunk on the couch, you’re really gonna get in trouble.

Sadly, I have lost all respect for you now.

Salted Passable Badger with Chilled Lentils

Ingredients:
1 badger
5 pinches lentil, searchingly dried
4 sticks sociably pomegranate
2 cans deranged salamander liver, lumberingly roasted
4 sticks salt
1 pound vanilla

Pre-heat your oven to 37 Celsius. Pick over the ingredients upliftingly and discard excess limestone. Place the badger into a large bowl. Mash the lentil with the pomegranate over high heat in a wok. Drizzle resulting goo over the badger. Cacciatore the salamander liver, salt, and the vanilla dodgily. Heap everything together whinily. Bake for 75 hours. Serves 13 programmable individuals with penultimate stomachs.

Ingredients:
1 raccoon, preferably road-squashed, skinned and aged, chopped into bits.
onion
garlic
hot sauce

In a large wok over high gas heat, fry that shit up.
Serve with a tasty rice pilaf or Barbara Bush Baked beans-
http://www.astray.com/recipes/?show=Barbara's%20baked%20beans

Women in tight costumes. What’s not to like?

Holy Crap I can’t even read through the comments. That was uncalled for and disgusting !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABLwmYI09Lw

This will fix.

I never can get the badger to stay in the bowl long enough for the goo to set properly. Sad, really, not to mention injurious.

Just in case there is still someone on the planet who has not yet been wounded by this little ditty…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU

I’ll take badgerwhisking any day.

Righteous Bubba said,
March 7, 2008 at 5:21

I still don’t think anything’s as bad as Touch My Bum.

Sexist pig. Its people like you who make liberals look like facists.

I forgot all about jose chung, Mikey. good times.

Where’s Bruce? We really miss Bruce.

Okay, the world is at end.
I win.
Molotov/Pepsi doing Trio-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtG0eBgwLVg

Fuck you liberal pansies.

g said,
March 7, 2008 at 9:03

Where’s Bruce? We really miss Bruce.

Please stop with the barely controlled gay-bashing.
I liked you better when you were harshing on women.
Thanks.

There is really no decent excuse for this one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8i8vjtoX8q0

I’m terribly sorry. At least it’s short.

HA HAAAA!!

http://www.iamtrex.com/?p=467

*disappears in a cloud of purple smoke*

Randall likes pie.

Well, TRex, if you’re going to plat like that…

I hate these threads! I know I shouldn’t click on these links, but I always end up doing it.

Here’s my contribution:

A Muppet Sweeney Todd

Oh, this is even worse:

A sock puppet Sweeney Todd

g said,
March 7, 2008 at 9:17

Randall likes pie.

Darlin’, its not my fault you cant follow the links.
Blame your overedumacated ivy league parent.
Now go laugh at an asian in a cheerleader outfit, it’ll make you feel better about yourself.

Or this:

Randal Byrd’s teenage daugher’s Sweeney Todd puppet show

Oh, Randall, were you saying something?

Play. I mean play.

Note to self, do not type with forehead.

what are you trying to do to me?

Oh, if it’s sci-fi rock kitsch you want, how about a little ditty called CoDo?

Here’s a gal who’d scare the shirt out of Randall:

Blow Grabriel Blow

You watch out, little boy. Patti’s gonna eat your lunch.

g said,
March 7, 2008 at 9:51

You watch out, little boy. Patti’s gonna eat your lunch.

Oh shut up already, goddamn you might be the dumbest person commenting here.
Fuck 80s techno-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5dpp2iCRwM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=woShtPHL384
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1IuD6F3R5I

After one whole quart of brandy
Like a daisy I awake
With no bromoseltzer handy
I don’t even shake
Men are not a new sensation
I’ve done pretty well I think.
But this half-pint imitation
puts me on the blink

Randall, you are a sad, sad little man. Please, please please let Mrs. Byrd talk with the doctors and get your medication prescriptions updated.

Well, TRex, if you’re going to plat like that…

Oh, dude, that was low.

Oh, dude, that was low.

VMDs. There is no good outcome. Someday the historians will look up from the cold, charred landscape and cry “Why!” repeatedly to the heavens. For now, we just have to suck it up, and brace for the next volley. At least nobody has broken out the furry cover videos of My Chemical Romance yet.

DUUUUUCK!!!

Heh . . . someone else was watching Ashes to Ashes tonight, looks like . . .

There is really no decent excuse for this one.
Ars Gratia Artis

Fuck you liberal pansies.

Likewise, I’m sure.

Ruthie said,
March 7, 2008 at 11:10

Fuck you liberal pansies.

Likewise, I’m sure.

Wow, a video of pale white pansies.
Hit the road jack.

And here we have a multi-purpose video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yIUSi1Z51pU

Not only is it one of the most Godawful pieces of dreck moldering in the crannies of youtube, but the band name is so perfectly appropriate for some of our visitors to this thread.

Speak!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=–Vaz9jW054

Yee c’mon…

Damn! Shit like that’s gonna give disco a bad name!

Is it just me, or does it seem like this “Randall Byrd” person is either annieangel or her credit card-stealing limp-named boyfriend (with a new screen name and a new IP to work from)?

The act has been overdone already, Randall. Nice try, though.

Marita said,
March 7, 2008 at 15:01

Is it just me, or does it seem like this “Randall Byrd” person is either annieangel or her credit card-stealing limp-named boyfriend (with a new screen name and a new IP to work from)

Don’t end a sandwich with a preposition.

Yowch. What a video. You will spend 1,334,224 years in purgatory for exposing people to it.

Don’t blame me. I was listening to Eno and Television in 1977.

Here’s the the maestro of Teh Ghey Vids:

Klaus Nomi

OR

What a party.

Now who’s going to clean up this mess?

Don’t end a sandwich with a preposition.
I think what you meant to say was: “Don’t use a preposition to end a sandwich with”.

So, no denial from the Byrd campaign? Shall we call you Randallimpy from now on?

Ah yes, the assless, cameltoed dancers of Epsilon Idioti.

Pah!

I kill you all.

mikey–

Heh heh, dark haired babe with the black leather stud collar’s sure hot.

That would be Peri Lister, Billy Idol’s future baby-mama. Now you know.

…the rest of the story.

What? No new thread?

You have destroyed his school of Kung Fu. Congrats

Yeah, new thread! It’s not like the wingnuts are getting any smarter. For instance:

The first Invasion of the Body Snatchers was famously a commentary on the Cold War. Though what the commentary was is hotly debated. I’ve often heard people say it’s an attack on McCarthyism, but I always thought the lesson of the movie is quite the opposite. After all, the supposedly paranoid fears of a conspiracy-from-within are in fact justified. If it’s about witch-hunts, there are witches.

He also gets the Jasmine storyline in Angel totally backwards, but that’s insider baseball.

Gary Numan and Leo Sayer staggering around a stage doing a horrible, rhythmically challenged version of “On Broadway.” God Gavin, your evil knows no depths. No wonder everyone was smoking so much dope when I was in high school. We needed to numb the pain.

I say that those of us who had Juice Newton, Foreigner and Journey tunes playing at our high school proms cannot be considered baby boomers. Gary Numan and Leo Sayer make that argument even stronger, IMHO. Our older brothers and sisters got the Beatles and the Who, our younger sibs got REM and the Cure — and we got this shit.

Toyah Wilcox is now married to Robert Fripp. Here is a glimpse into their homelife:

Perhaps it’s not obscure enough for the black-belts above, but if I may contribute:

The sad thing is that Gary Numan did a perfectly respectable, Gary Numan-esque cover of “On Broadway.” I don’t know why he had to go muck it up with that TV show. (And Leo Sayers? Huh?) I assume the standard excuse — “I needed coke money” — applies, but still.

> I say that those of us who had Juice Newton, Foreigner and Journey tunes playing at our high school proms cannot be considered baby boomers. Gary Numan and Leo Sayer make that argument even stronger, IMHO. Our older brothers and sisters got the Beatles and the Who, our younger sibs got REM and the Cure — and we got this shit.

No, you don’t have the worst – not by a long shot.

The most chosen “senior song” of 1975 was “Color My World”. As bad as Foreigner & Journey are, Chicago (and that song in particular) makes them look like unsung (pffft) geniosities.

That does it. I’m posting Stupid Jonah Goldberg Quotes until we get new thread.

The irony is that the “Jewish entity,” as Hamas sometimes calls it, is obligated, according to human-rights groups, to provide food, water and electricity to Hamas’ subjects [in Gaza], even as those subjects openly support Hamas’ ongoing war on Israel. It’s a bit like being required to provide a hot meal and a warm bed to an intruder even though he intends to kill you in your sleep.

Toyah Wilcox is now married to Robert Fripp.

“Is now” being 22 years ago you old fart.

I say that those of us who had Juice Newton, Foreigner and Journey tunes playing at our high school proms cannot be considered baby boomers.

At my senior prom (Class of ’81) the prom song was “The Best of Times” by Styx. I was very stoned at the time, but I believe there was a giant, frothing fountain of poisoned Kool-Aid available for a possible Jonestown-like mass sucide for all the punks in attendance, which in rural Indiana at that time consisted of about three people.

this one is earth-shakingly bad.

Ah, shaddap you face.

I just want to know how the male dancers in the starship trooper video got the time off from the Village People gig at the Hellfire Club in NYC.

Gayer than Paris in the springtime.

And FAABBUULLOOUUUSSS!!!

I especially appreciate the the part of the starship troopers dance where each crewmember (?) struts along holding two flashlights pointed at one another. Now that’s choreography! And then when one of them arrives in the queue with what appear to be a pair of maracas!

I can haz Jordy Plze? Thanxkz!

Is it too late to add anything by The Right Brothers?

Incoming!
Also (assuming 90s eurodance is not forbidden by the Geneva Conventions): Look out for the invisible bees.

That girl has no gaydar. She lost her heart to that guy? Talk about unrequited love.

[…] folks at Sadly, No!, Balloon Juice, and TRex (a brief skirmish of which you may sample in horror here). The idea is apparently to beat each other into submission with horrible videos of even more […]

How could I have missed that delightful ditty off my short contribution to what should have been on the 50 gayest songs of all time?