Shorter Ann Althouse
Posted on March 2nd, 2008 by Gavin M.
“Why are the letters ‘NIG’ on the child’s pajamas?”
Above: Noted onion ring theorist
- While once I pointedly declined to participate in it, I now find myself enthralled by Pajamas Media.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.
Oh. My. God.
What I really want to know is what Ann thinks this guy’s outfit means. I wonder if she’d be willing to enlighten us…
I’m gonna have to have a talk with my pal Ann, who I am not, about this. Now how to get her attention….
holy crap.
“Why do I only wear dark, solid colors?”
Sweet leg-humping Jeebus on a bed of lettuce, she did not. She DID NOT.
Oh, she did.
Hm. I wonder if she also saw the face of Satan in the smoke from the Twin Towers on 9/11. Or the Virgin Mary in the underpass in Chicago. Or Elvis’s face on a grilled cheese sandwich.
All the pontificating about how advertisers are conspiratorial geniuses who paste together political ads frame by frame to maximize the subliminal effect… good grief, these people should be filling in for Art Bell on late night AM radio. The human brain is indeed wired by evolution to discern patterns, but what the Althouse Brain Trust doesn’t quite get is that that means that sometimes we see patterns that AREN’T THERE.
I have a brain ache.
A comment on Ann’s blog, and a reply.
Blogger Mr Furious said…
This is nuts. There is a simple explanation for why this is not subliminal racist messaging—THIS IS STOCK FOOTAGE! Hillary didn’t shoot this, this is footage purchased from a stock photo/video source and assembled into an ad.
How do I know this? Because it’s what agencies do. It is cost- and time-prohibitive to cast, set-up and shoot stuff like that. It’s why Obama’s response video uses the SAME footage at the beginning—they both bought it.
11:46 PM
Blogger Theo Boehm said…
Of course it’s stock footage. We all know that. It’s just that the producers of this commercial should have looked at it with the eyes of my 11-year-old.
This is stock footage that in this context has a message. Perhaps it would have another message in another setting. but THIS ad is intended to contrast (white) Hillary with (black) Obama.
The overt message of the ad is NOT about race at all, of course. But the visual symbolism sure seems to be.
If my 11-year-old can immediately get what’s going on, why can’t those of you who keep saying there’s nothing to be seen here?
11:56 PM
Well, sure. No, c’mon, you guys, think it through.
If there was just SOME way, some subliminal path that would allow the Clinton campaign to inform the voters that Obama was a black man, and if they could somehow do it in a way that informed them that black me were, well, less than first class citizens, perhaps maybe by referring to him, subliminally, of course, as a “Nig”, then she’d sweep ahead and win all the primary elections and delegates and everything would be shiny blue skies and ponies from now on.
Because mostly? People just don’t see to realize that Barack Obama is an African American, and if only they did, their inherent American racism would kick in and they would vote joyfully for the aging female candidate instead, because she is white.
Or, um, er. Shit. This is just stupid…
mikey
Does anyone here have Mott The Hoople’s first album? If you do (everyone really should), open it up for the centerfold pictures of the band on a windy day. Ann Althouse is most certainly Mott The Hoople’s drummer, ‘Buffin’.
Even back in the day, I couldn’t help but wonder just what exactly a “Hoople” was and why Mott wanted to be one…
mikey
I said this over at The Poor Man Institute, so it bears repeating:
After the Jesse Helms ad where they had a guy strangling a letter that turned into Gantt’s head, I can see where she’s coming from.
Doesn’t mean she’s right.
Especially since the last time I said it, I rewarded myself with a nice martini.
Yikes, that column is kind of a ‘You know, I think I can beat that train’ moment, isn’t it?
Do you suppose her name-tracking software is on to this post yet?
Hi Ann. The train is going to win this one.
Hoople is the home of the University of Southern North Dakota, home to Dr. Peter Schickele.
Have you gone beserk! Can’t you see that man is a ni…
Hahaha, wrong person.
Have you gone beserk? Can’t you see that man is a ni?
Althouse changes her blog photo frequently. I wonder what that means?
Ann responds immediately to contrary commenter Eric
…
From the woman who voted for George Bush.
Somebody’s got to find her a way to play CDs backwards. That’ll tie her up for weeks.
“Ann Althouse” spelled backwards = Mirror mirror on the wall I am the most beautiful woman of all!
Quoth mikey:
I, on the other hand, wondered what “motting” was, and whether hooples enjoyed it.
From wikipedia: (Album Producer Guy) “Stevens changed the band’s name to “Mott the Hoople” from a novel of the same name by Willard Manus; the book is about an eccentric who works in a circus freak show.”
ann althouse = a natunl hose
Well, that’ll teach Hillary. Bigger kid next time!
Ann gives me a migraine big enough to make itself felt through the migraine I already had.
If anyone has some ‘splaining to do about missing letters, It’s D-OH congressperson (and Clinton supporter) Stephanie Tubbs:
http://tubbsjones.house.gov/
Scroll down to the bottom of the page. I can’t believe that they used that photo…
Oh, and this doesn’t mean that Ann Althouse is any less dumb.
The fact is, much as the onion rings in Hillary’s ‘Sopranos’ ad were metaphorical for vaginae, NIG was meant to signal that Osama has two BLACK BABIES.
Heartland; you in the dustbin of history.
this is embarrassing stupidity. how much free time does this woman have on her hands to do an in depth analysis on this shit?
I think he said the sheriff is near!
I just don’t see how a hoople could NOT enjoy a good motting.
“It’s just that the producers of this commercial should have looked at it with the eyes of my 11-year-old.”
Why is his 11 year old looking for “nigger”?
You know, for all they know, the full word is “niggardly”. Which, I think we can all agree, would promote fiscal responsibility and saving, a virtue we all aspire too. Or “Niggling”; cutting awkwardly, trifling; also accompanying with a woman, which would make it an anti-Clinton covert message. Possibly also Night Magistrate, a night watchman. Nightingale, or even Nigmenog. But, now, of course, their minds jump immediately to racial slurs. Not surprising.
Suck on that, race baiters.
What has that hoople ever done to me, that I should mott it?
[…] one needs to talk about the ridiculous. Some vile, and photoshoppy personal attacks on Dear Ann here and here. Vile video attacks on Ann the Emeautiful here. I look forward to seeing it at our top […]
Hoople is the home of the University of Southern North Dakota, home to Dr. Peter Schickele.
Andrew, I love that the University has a radio station named WOOF.
Qetesh, it’s OK to not mott. Let hoople rot.
way past bedtime….
In Ann’s reply to Eric, she says in her last sentence that if we can’t see the “nig” we don’t deserve democracy.
Someone just fucking shoot the bitch. She is obviously suffering from the final stages of rabies.
Just more deranged Clinton hating, from the right-wing of the anti-Clinton machine. But it could have easily come from the Obama culties without changing many words (and it might still come from them, since they like plagiarism)
You have 90% of African-Americans voting for Obama, not due to issues but due to a racist campaign manufactured by Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and David Axelrod.
Without such polarization, Obama loses a lot more states and is out of the race.
But i’m confident in an 8 point Clinton victory in Texas, and a 12 point Ohio victory, which will keep her in the race, leading to her popular vote victory in the primaries and it will drive her to the convention where she will win on the first ballot.
I hope RB’s pet hoople is healthy. We all know how attached to it he is.
The Clinton comeback has been fueled by the fact that she is the most ready and most able to do the job.
If Clinton is President, she’ll have a strong presidency that saves America from the brink of Republican-led destruction. It’ll be a Presidency that will finally break the hold of low self-esteem on millions of young girls, telling them that they are somebody.
If Obama is President, he’ll let the Republicans control his cabinet and he’ll make a bunch of speeches.
George Carlin could have worked Ann into his latest show “Bullshit, it’s bad for ya.”
Is Ira Allen kevin/saul/bb trying a new angle?
Blech.
joeyess,
so artful with your comment.
A preview of what Hillary Clinton will do to Barack Obama
Anagrams of “Ann Althouse” yield haunts alone and anthole anus. While the latter accounts for her uniquely tight-sphinctered reaction to virtually everything, and the former is her raison d’etre in the blogosphere, there’s a third anagram which is obviously the message she is deliberately sending us by naming herself Ann Althouse: an A-hole, nuts.
I say this absolutely deliberately and after much careful thought.
The “NIG” is solely the product of Ann’s dirty mind: the G is obscured and could be a C for all she knows. Maybe it’s a Q to make ‘iniquity’. The only letters that are clear are “NI”, which of course can only be a message from Hillary insinuating that Obama is a Python-quoting geek, and that we shouldn’t vote for him.
Yep. I can see the same little dipshit brain working in there.
You know, it’s been less than a year since I first learned of the existence of Ms. Ann (from reading your fine blog), and she seems to have aged rather noticeably in that time. And here I thought red wine was supposed to retard aging.
Time to throw out all that Pinot Noir I had stocked, I guess.
Oh Moxie, you said “retard”, and even though you verbed it, it is natural for me to think you are being insensitive to the differently abled, as well as ageist! Such vile personal attacks!
I, Ann Althouse, who you are not, want this website to apologize to me, the Ann Althouse, and make clear that this “Spam Spalthouse” is not me, who is Ann Althouse. This site is confusing with its potential for people to share first names and converse together. I, Ann Althouse, the person who is Ann Althouse, want an apology for this design flaw. Clean up your messy site.
“Hm. I wonder if she also saw the face of Satan in the smoke from the Twin Towers on 9/11. Or the Virgin Mary in the underpass in Chicago. Or Elvis’s face on a grilled cheese sandwich.”
I’ll only buy it if she’s also seen the attack ships off the shoulder of Orion.
Note that Ann responds most appropriately to Eric:
I say it absolutely deliberately and after much careful thought.
In fact, her argument about subliminalism has *never* before been made with such detail or such care, and indeed Erics comment is central to her point!
Huzzah!
Look, the crazy part of this ad is the idea that President Hillary Clinton would be in the office at 3 a.m., wearing her business suit, lipstick, and that pretty gold necklace and would be answering the White House phone. I want a president who has the good sense to get some fucking sleep. Who do I want answering a call at that hour? The night receptionist. The president should be in bed.
Or maybe that’s message here: if you elect Obama, Hillary would be a great receptionist. “On the night shift.”
werdna — No, the problem is that she needs to wear pearls when answering the hot phone at 3:00 am. The gold necklace reminds people that she is in hock to filthy lucre, i.e., lobbyists and corporate greedmeisters. The ad was clearly not clearly thought through, clearly. That’s also why the “G” doesn’t show clearly, I guess.
This is why night should be spelled “nite”. If it was, that part of the pajamas would say “nit” instead of “nig”. Then again, Althouse would probably think that means “nitwit” or something.
You have 90% of African-Americans voting for Obama, not due to issues but due to a racist campaign manufactured by Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and David Axelrod.
I know this is from Irate Alien, so it’s not meant to be taken seriously, but is there anything more racist than assuming that African Americans are too damn stupid to think for themselves and vote their conscience, that they have to be herded like sheep by prominent black leaders to vote for whomever they want to vote for?
I think he said the sheriff is near!-
That was Gabby Johnson.
I think everyone needs to cut Ann some slack. She’s clearly upset that all those days popping amphetamines and scouring through Clinton campaign material looking for Bill’s penis have turned up nothing. This was the best she could come up with.
If you look closely at the letters of Ann Althouse’s name you can make out letters that spell “Anal hose nut.”
And that is central to my point.
Good ole’ ethanol anus* is at it again.
*use favorite anagram here
The Anal Onus works like a charm, too. Ashen Aunt Lo? This could be a great way to spend a Sunday.
Linky-Linky
Yes, my friend: American blacks would never, ever, ever have considered voting for a black candidate had it not been for those three.
Sadly all that supposed subliminal crap was thrown to the curb in the 70’s by the advertising powers that be.
Doesn’t matter if the viewer is a genius or a simpleton. The implied meaning is rarely inferred.
Obama is edging past Clinton in Houston, according to the Houston Chronicle. People predicting a win for Clinton in the south ignore the fact that the south has a huge percentage of “mnorities” and young people.
In fact, the Chronicle says that people are now more inclined to vote for a Democrat here by a small percentage, which is a huge change. The more people saw of Republicans, the sooner they decide to go back to voting for Democrats. It doesn’t hurt that our very Republican DA just imploded in a messy race-sex-and-drugs-fueled scandal, as they are wont to do.
I forgot to say Althouse is a wanker. Her irrational hatred of the Clintons leads me to believe she caught Daddy and her her best friend groping each other in the closet when she was in high school.
That is all.
“she needs to wear pearls when answering the hot phone at 3:00 am…”
Sorry, but I just can’t (don’t want to) get my head around the idea of Hillary and a “pearl necklace” (or “string of pearls”), if you know what I mean.
Don’t think of an elephant.
Phil Moskowitz, Lovable Rogue said,
March 2, 2008 at 16:02
I think he said the sheriff is near!-That was Gabby Johnson.
Best movie ever.
Althouse: “But the 3 letters are isolated on the shoulder in a series of otherwise wordless images that are intended to create an intense emotional reaction in the viewer (and to imply that Obama wouldn’t be able to get up at night to take a call).”
I thought I was familiar with just about every existing anti-black slur and stereotype, but I’ve never heard the “They’re no good at getting up to answer the phone!” one.
I think he said the sheriff is near!-
That was Gabby Johnson.
The fact is, that was Howard Johnson misquoting Gabby.
Moxie: “And here I thought red wine was supposed to retard aging.”
Devil’s in the details. Those studies call for one glass a day. Drinking seven in a row during American Idol has a somewhat different result.
Oh yes, Ann has a very nice slow motion train wreck going over at her site. Twisted boxcars backed up for miles. She’s posted a second entry trying to defend the NIG post. The first comment on the new entry is:
Blow Up: Yardbird distortion beckoning static page
I have no idea what that means for Althouse but, as a Yardbirds fan, I sure like the sound of it.
The fact is, that was Howard Johnson misquoting Gabby.
Actually, it’s Dr. Sam Johnson.
Pretty sure it was Nicely-Nicely Johnson.
You want to know what’s sad-making? The fact that the producer or director of the spot probably thought, “Pajamas with words! Perfect. Nothing says ‘innocent sleeping child’ better than pajamas with words on them, or teddy bears, or whatever.”
And now it’s all politicized and shit. Damn you, Ann Althouse!
If there was just SOME way, some subliminal path that would allow the Clinton campaign to inform the voters that Obama was a black man,
He IS?? You’re kidding me!
Damn you,
Ann Althouse!Alto Anus Hen!Fixed. Sorta. Hey, is it my fault NoahC used up all the best anagrams?
Anal Hens Out!
I dunno, I really like Alto Anus Hen; especially the Hen part, which is guaranteed to piss off chronically-middle-aged-but-uncomfortable-with-it Ann.
Maybe Ann would like to do some close analysis of pictures of her face photoshopped onto porn.
Anyone else want to see her vortex?
“Best movie ever”
Can I get a harumph?
Althouse: “But the 3 letters are isolated on the shoulder in a series of otherwise wordless images that are intended to create an intense emotional reaction in the viewer (and to imply that Obama wouldn’t be able to get up at night to take a call).”
I thought I was familiar with just about every existing anti-black slur and stereotype, but I’ve never heard the “They’re no good at getting up to answer the phone!” one.
Because he’s high on crack. Obviously.
AA is stealing my shtick.
The place mat illustration is not a photographic representation of actual clams, of course, but an airbrush painting. It includes nine caricatured human figures as well as a donkey astride a human figure. The donkey seems to be licking the stomach of the figure upon whose lightly shaded face is a long mustache. To the left of the prostrate face-up male figure appears a female figure with a highly piled coiffure. A head can be seen between her legs. Who would believe a sexual orgy, oral sex, and bestiality could be so deftly incorporated into an innocent restaurant placemat?
Harumph!
Damn. The woman is insane and dumb.
I notice the way to have her quote a comment is to call her a “genius.” Just like the game with Jonah, I wonder how wacky a compliment one could make and have her reproduce it…
Look at Ann’s new pic on her site and tell me you don’t think of this .
Caitlin don’t you dare ruin Gossamer for me.
First of all, those onion ring stacks look like scratching posts. Or maybe like that ring-stack toy my kids used to have, only it was plastic and the rings were of ascending size and assorted colors. Plus the base was curved so it rocked back and forth as the poor child attempted to place the rings on it in the correct order. Other than that, it’s just the same.
Anyway, I think the photographer of the jammy image must have purposely repositioned the lettered fabric in order to avoid wrinkling up the “GOOD” part of “GOOD NIGHT,” which would have of course created the abomination of blaspheming the name of the Lord Jehovah Yaweh and thus caused plague and suffering upon all His creation for generations to come. Compared with possibly creating a subliminal racist message, I’d say the photographer made the right call.
She’s out of New York, now, right? Back to lair in some flyover place, right? It’s safe to go out now, right?
In my highly-qualified opinion (which is unimpaired by any attempt to look at the actual image), the third letter was not G, or C, but Ð. The subliminal message was meant to be NÍÐINGR.
As a result of this deliberate affront, the peaceful Icelandic hordes will rise up en masse and there will be angry rioting in the streets of Gimli, Manitoba.
and there will be angry rioting in the streets of Gimli, Manitoba.
*sigh*
OK. But I just put my winter gear away . . . hang on a sec.
It’s pretty clear that Ann is just trying to protect her phony-baloney job.
Harumph!
OMG, I looked at the name of her blog and there it is, plain as day: altho U-S-E.
“USE.” Does she want us to USE drugs? Does she plan to USE us as her telepathically-controlled brood? What possible other nefarious USE can there be?
Someone alert the Internet student council.
ps: No wonder she’s all het up about the three letters on the kid’s pyjamas: They also spell, “gin.”
Clem,
That’s Mr. Hyde Tweety, not Gossamer.
His kids are NOT racist, and they DO exist!
sorry, that was a comment that was good enough to be promoted to the main page
I can’t decide if Bill actually fucked her and dumped her, or if she WANTS Bill to fuck her and run.
Come to think of it, she does exhibit early signs of syphilis-related dementia.
joeyess said,
March 2, 2008 at 10:30
In Ann’s reply to Eric, she says in her last sentence that if we can’t see the “nig” we don’t deserve democracy.
Someone just fucking shoot the bitch. She is obviously suffering from the final stages of rabies.
________________________________________________________
Me, sounding way too much like Marv Albert: “YESSS!! And it counts!”
Because Mott’s a fucking cocksucker. That’s why.
Come to think of it, she does exhibit early signs of syphilis-related dementia.
Of course her thinking is also typical of what happens when you drink while taking certain depression medications….
gbear said,
Blow Up: Yardbird distortion beckoning static page
No, it’s code, like when a Navy pilot says “Echo Tango Foxtrot” when they mean E T F. Lets see…
B U Y D B S P
Huh. I still don’t get it.
Ok, like a week late, but since I haven’t bothered to register for Althouse’s blog I’ll just link to this report about the girl in the 3am ad. As no one with half a brain should be surprised to learn, the scene with the girl is 8 year old stock footage.
Great factors…I might observe that as someone who actually doesn’t remark to blogs a lot (in actual fact, this may be my first put up), I don’t assume the term “lurker” could be very flattering to a non-posting reader. It’s not your fault at all, but maybe the blogosphere could come up with a greater, non-creepy title for the 90% of us that enjoy reading the posts.