We Do Not Expect You To Beg, TRex…

You’ll Never Take Me Alive!

The YouTube war continues apace. Gavin got down and dirty and pulled out not just Dschingis Khan (with subtitles!) but Sparks (featuring Jane Wiedlin), too. Oh, the paaaaain. Balloon Juice has turned to WMD’s with the deployment of John Cage.

…We expect you to yabba-dabba-DIE!

The BC-52’s – ‘Bedrock Twitch’ (1:27)

Oh yes, and this is for you, Balloon Juice:

Philip Michael Thomas – ‘Just the Way I Planned It’ (3:49)

Update: Upon reflection, what we need here this evening is some Tom of Finland mixed with some Oompa-Loompas.

Spandau Ballet – ‘Musclebound’ (3:50)

Ah yes, that’s a little better.


Comments: 141


That’s doubly mean.
The B-52s were once fun.

Smiling Mortician

I realize you boys have to have your fun, but a line must be drawn. I say that line was crossed when lasers shot out Detective Tubbs’ ass.


I still don’t get it.

The upside, however, is that my life seems so much less pathetic….



Well, here’s the video I remember as being worst from my drunken First Avenue days, but I wasn’t paying that much attention to the videos. I was there either to hear a band or because my band was playing.

I Ran by Flock of Seagulls. Probably much too obvious for this war…


Please just stop it before someone gets hurt


Dude, late 70s Michael Jackson wants his laser back.


PMT is awesome.

My revisionist review is that he is way better than Crockett!


Ok. The proprietors of this site have me utterly flummoxed.

Let’s recap.

They regularly read Townhall, The Corner, Insty and Renew America.

They LIKE really bad music videos, and delight in challenging other sites owners to find ever more horrible examples that should rest contentedly for eternity in Gary’s dustbin of history.

One cannot help but wonder. If I came over to their house, and while they were in the kitchen making me a drink and a plate of appetizers I took a large, warm, semi-firm shit in the middle of the carpet, and upon their return I excitedly pointed it out, and began joyfully discussing what made it such a tremendous, exceptional shit, would they happily embrace me, not to mention my, er, gifts, and share them with others across the the intert00bz?

It is too wonder…



My revisionist review is that he is way better than Crockett!

I don’t know, Pinko. Crockett’s got Dweezil. That’s heart to beat.

Smiling Mortician

Jeez, mikey, that’s some awesome shit right there.



Mikey, ever seen the movie Plan Nine From Outer Space or any of Ed Woods other movies? Bad can be horribly addicting. And fun.


If I came over to their house, and while they were in the kitchen making me a drink and a plate of appetizers
Remember that the S,N! offices are based in Germany, so if you are invited over, you should follow German etiquette and bring your own plate of appetizers. A large bowl of dicks is always appreciated.


One of my favorite hangover pasttimes is to watch old made-for-TV movies on Lifetime. Bonus points for titles like “Mother May I Sleep With Danger” or “Crowned and Dangerous”. And perhaps the ultimate, though not shown on Lifetime: “A Very Brady Christmas”. And here’s what a bad person I am: I watched it just to see if I could see any lesions or other signs of illness on Robert Reed, whom I long wished would have done a commercial ala “I’m not a doctor, but I play one on TV” only he would have said, “I’m not a heterosexual, but I play one on TV.”

If there really was a hell, I would roast in it.



it’s friday night. the kids are about to go to bed.

so it’s time for “what are you drinking” SNers!

i’m on a old raj gin with fresh squeezed organic grapefuit juice and simple sugar, but you know what? that’s how i motherfuckin’ roll.

and jennifer–easy there. i have produced 25 of those movies, with titles like “family in hiding” and “housesitter” (would you believe that one starred one Tori Spelling? Do i mess around? hell no!!!!). they aren’t just for hangovers. please, in future, consider watching them while nursing a pint of “Chubby Hubby”–one of their other main functions is as a guilty calorie seratonin release mechanism.


Hate to disappoint, Robert, but I’m drinking TheraFlu. Stupid flu shot people, picking the wrong strains for their vaccine! Bastards!

It does make the Lifetime movies go down easier though. Can I be an extra in your next Tori Spelling extravaganza? I promise to behave.

Smiling Mortician

Robert Green, I started with a shot of Slivovic (it’s a bit nippy today), followed that up with a Hendricks martini (with cucumber instead of olive) and have now moved on to a glass of some Sicilian wine (can’t be arsed to check the bottle) because dinner is almost served. Ah, Fridays. Bless them, every one.

Oh — and Tori Spelling? Really? Wow. Next you’ll tell me you exec produced “Summer of my German Soldier” with Kristy MacNichol.


A large bowl of dicks is always appreciated.

Flopping around on their own, eating oats, no doubt. You, sir, have made the trip from here to something approximating sanity just that much longer, and for that you must accept at least a small accolade. Perhaps the oat byproduct? Just thinking out loud here.

Robert. At the risk of boring redundancy, I’m sipping (perhaps something slightly more aggressive) Laphroaig 10, because, well when I take the position “that’s how I roll” it really means “I’m not interested in examining any options because I’m set in my ways and what difference does it make as I’ll die soon enough anyway”. But if you ever want the twisted LSD and random violence point of view, I’m your writer. Just say the word.

The good news is that a lovely and respectable female is coming over tomorrow for a Crab Cakes madness 2008 event. She’s from Maryland, so she ought to be able to set me straight on my crab cakes apostasy.

[whisper voice] What she doesn’t know is I’ll also be making my delicious bacon and tomato cups, so I expect she’ll swoon and demand I service her overwhelming needs right then and there in the kitchen [/whisper voice]

So. Ahem. Won’t that be fun?




*vomits blood into wastebasket*

Cough! Haaaaack!!

You sons of bitches will live to fucking rue the day you did this to meeeeeeee.

*vomits again*

Whoa, dude. Is it getting really dark in here? Everything went kinda gray there for a second.

I fold.


Look, if you’re going to talk about T Rex in the title of a post with a bunch of music videos, can’t you at least give us some real goddamn T. Rex?


*passes out*


robert green – I bow to your cheesy goodness.


Sadly six, Sadly six, mikey three actual over.

Sadly six, go ahead.

Sadly six, Sadly six, mikey three actual requesting dustoff. Map co ords 260 185 over.

Dustoff en route, mike three actual. Is the LZ hot.

Negative, negative, Sadly six, LZ is cold. Will mark with purple smoke and lots of fake green tracers. No fire on the LZ, over..

Mikey three actual, sadly six. Are you lying again?

No, no, Sadly Six, we have Trex down, and there is no, um, significant fire on the LZ. Request immediate dustoff.

Mikey Three actual, this is Rescue four. How copy.

Rescue four, mikey three actual, copy five. Popping purple smoke.

Mikey three actual, Rescue four. If you are fucking with us about this LZ like last week we will prosecute you. Do you copy.

Rescue four, mikey three actual. Your last transmission garbled. We have wounded and a cold LZ. Popping purple smoke. Please Identify.

Roger. Rescue four in.

[Hang with me now, Trex, the choppers are coming, dude]



Hmmm.. that Spandau Ballet video reminded me the end part of this. And then it reminded me of this.


no macnichol movies on my docket.

and yes, hendricks demands cucumber. that may be one of life’s great pleas ure–the hendricks martini. i’m out of hendricks, and sad.



i knew how you were–you love you some laphroig.

too much peat for me. but that’s a man’s drink all right.

and i should point out that for a long time i worked on rescue dawn, and in fact came up with that name based on the authenticator dengler had to remember at the end. it beat “little dieter needs to fly” which was our title for a long time.

for which i got a “thanks” in the end credits. i hate this business sometimes.

Smiling Mortician

Well, c’mon over, Robert. I’ve got plenty.

Smiling Mortician

Um. Plenty of Hendricks. But I can try to get you some decent end credits as well . . .


Man, if it wasn’t still winter outside I’d feel bad about the way I’m spending this evening. I did follow that Trex (the band) link to find an actual live 8 minute version of Bang A Gong, but I had to give up on it at 6 1/2 minutes. I got sidetracked to a recent really awful video by BearforceOne. Blue Buddha’s Helix video may be the last straw though. I’m throwing up blood now too.


[mixes up hot buttered TheraFlu for everyone]

I’m telling you guys. This stuff is fabulous.



Crabcakes to die for:

4 oz of dugeness crab meat
1 oz of fine dry bread crumbs
2 oz mayo
1 egg slightly beaten
1/2 oz green bell peppers, finely chopped
1/2 oz red bell peppers, finely chopped
1/2 oz small white onions, finely chopped
juice from 1/2 fresh lemon
splash of hot pepper sauce
pinch of salt
pinch of white pepper
1 oz butter for frying

In a large mixing bowl combine all ingredients, being careful not to break up the lumps of crab meat.

Shape mixture into 1 oz cakes, placing cakes on a sheet pan or platter for refrigeration for 2 hours (to allow cakes to firm).

At the 12 hour mark, melt butter into saute pan, abd place cakes into the pan. Saute them until golden brown on each side.

Aioli Sauce for dipping:
2 oz sour cream
2 oz mayo
pinch of salt
pinch of chipotle pepper
juice from other 1/2 fresh lemon
1 oz cider vinegar
1/3 teaspoon garlic powder
1/3 teaspoon of Worcestershire sauce

this is guaranteed to create a feeling of shared ecstasy that could well continue into the evening…….:)



You had a piece of Rescue Dawn?

Thanks for that. Beautiful film.

We always had to lie. The pilots, mostly, would come in with water and ammo and pick up wounded, but the controllers would resist their going into a hot LZ. Everybody understood we were lying, hell, you could see the fucking tracers and rockets from the firebase, but we needed to do a kind of negotiation, a kind of deal, that would allow the fucking superstar heroes that flew the dustoff birds to come in. And as soon as they flared over the LZ, long agonizing seconds before they set the skids down, you heard the pings and clangs of everything from AK to twelve seven pounding the birds, and the pilots, hell, I’m SURE they were terrified, but they never looked it, sitting calmly behind all that perspex, dark-as-black goggles over their eyes, keeping the birds airborne, just a tiny fraction of their weight on the skids, not seeming to be afraid as the rounds cut through the choppers, and every now and then, the whole goddam thing going fireball and everybody dying hard, and all of us on the LZ sobbing out “GODDAM IT” and throwing down our weapons as every last hope we put on those choppers burned on a nameless LZ in the goddam middle of nowhere…



Damn, thanks cricket. This will be the controlling document…



OMG!! Plan Nine!! The whole damned movie!!



That should be the 2 hour mark, not 12 hours. (It’s the vodka, I tells ya).

Andrew A. Gill, SLS

Two of my own personal weapons. Use them wisely, my friends.


(there is more where that came from)


OMG. No respectable person makes cakes de crab with bread crumbs!111!! You use actual bread. And Old Bay, lots and lots of Old Bay. The recipe is right on the can for pete sakes.


Okay, I had a few Martinis, put the hubby to bed (he had a few before coming home) and was ready to hit the sack myself. When what do I see but “Tom of Finland”!

Tom of F and oompah loompahd? Tomf of F and Spandau Balllet?
Damn you all to hell. [which does seem to be my tagline anymore]

Why can’t an old fag just live simpy anymore. without all this icon stealing? Kids, find your own iconcolasticism, please.


I’m just sayin.


And please forgive my typographical _skills_. As I said, there werea few Martinis involved……


And Marinol, which is still on the menu.


According to my friend Peter Fitz,

Chopper pilots seem to be pretty similar the world over, so I’ll just describe an average Kiwi pilot and you can draw your own conclusions about foreigners.
Unlike some other armies, all of the flying-types the New Zealand infantry deal with are in the Airforce, and are (therefore) limp-wristed panty-waisted gay-bar loiterers whose idea of roughing it is being forced to drink anything cheaper than Chivas Regal and getting less than three showers a day. The chopper pilots, however, are a little different from the rest of the fliers. They’re all completely insane, for a start, and like to fly through trees and things rather than wasting time going around them. They consider any flight from which they don’t return with leaf-stains on the skids a bore, and if they can’t make the grunts in the back shit their pants with fear, then they consider their mission to have been a failure. Normal pilots seem to regard them as borderline psychotics who need to be handled with extreme care, rather like nitroglycerine. I suppose it takes a certain type to actually be attracted to the idea of taking a relatively slow-moving, unarmoured flying thing roughly the size and shape of a Volkswagen van into a combat zone. Fortunately, I’ve never had to ride in a helicopter while it was being shot at, and I never want to, but some people actually enjoy that sort of thing. Takes all sorts, I guess.

Read the whole thing.


PeeJ, this one is the war entry for us old fags:


I cringe to post it.


THOSE guys!!

Those fucking guys had balls you couldn’t measure. They’d make flight after flight. Bring in ammo and water, take out wounded. Again and again. You’d hear the controllers on the radio.

Apple four, apple four, LZ is hot, hold and orbit two klicks south.

Apple four, your last garbled, we’re in..

Negative, negative, Apple four, stand down and orbit.

Apple four, we have four casualties onboard and will be direct to Pleiku…

Those guys? Those guys, mostly Warrants and just fucking kids, those guys are heroes and get no mention, nothing….



Awrgh! Why did you make me watch that? Damn you all to hell!


I think I need to join the NZ Air Corps.


I have learnt a useful new phrase today.

Frau Doktorin Penny: Are you sure you need another beer?
SC: Your last transmission garbled.


The Geneva Conventions once meant something. If it still did, you’d be in violation of You Tube War Crimes for those.


MileHi. There is an option to use bread with the crust cut off in the recipe, but I never use that option and still get RAVE reviews. Just sayin.

But, Mikey, if you want to be orthodox and go with the cut up bread, go ahead. Either way, she’ll still be beholdin’ to ya after your little crabcake soiree….



Mmmmmmmmmmmm. crab.

Orthodox is pounding them with a hammer and getting at that sweet, sweet meat. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhh…



Save us!

Beg for death! I know I would.


gbear, I thought that was kind of funny. It had a Full Monty, anti-boy band irreverance going on. I’m just assuming for my own sanity that it wasn’t meant to be serious.


Pedestrian, It’s tongue-in-cheek and funny, but I think they may take the act seriously. Somehow I missed out on the gay disco gene so I’m not sure how to process that video other than Abba on steroids. Some aspects of the bear scene have a boy-band vibe to it too, except it’s older and hairier. The fact is, the lead singer is just my type…


It’s a blessing that the videos don’t start automatically when you load the page.


Yesterday my impala Abe died sparklingly. He got run over by a helicopter. He used to cross those ears with that sense of concentration each time he used the litter-box.



Smut Clyde said,

March 1, 2008 at 6:59

I have learnt a useful new phrase today.

Frau Doktorin Penny: Are you sure you need another beer?
SC: Your last transmission garbled.

I’m not sure how well it’s going to work if you aren’t actually communicating on the FM, but goddam it, lemme know how it works out for you.

Because on the comms, at least, if you decided to ignore a particular order or command, that was the way to do it!



Yesterday my impala Abe died sparklingly

I’m thinking that’s what you get with those goddam Chevies. Stick with a righteous Chrysler and you’ll be much better off.

Just sayin…



Re: Philip Michael Thomas vid, one response:

For unto you this day is born a Savior. And His name is Tubbs.


This is sweet, very very sweet. Now if only a blogger could bring down George Bush.


This is sweet, very very sweet.

It’s enjoyable that he was a religious liason.


This is sweet, very very sweet.
Big props to Nancy Nall for writing “an homage”.


136 hours ago my living elk died. He took a notepad to the tongue and died some minutes thereafter. I blame the inane nightmares.


Can’t we stop the in-fighting? Sure, you each love your bad techno and other crappy pop, but the important thing is to defeat McCain in November. 😉


So I had that other beer and now I am feeling aggressive towards elks and impalas. Gerðu mér greiða og hoppaðu út um glugga!


First things first, I pity the fool who watches this one to the end…


This one is incredibly aptly titled…


And I don’t know if this one can count, as it is semi-pro at best, but oh, my…


Second, twenty-odd years ago, I’d occasionally hang around with one of those whirlybird pilots. Yup, completely fucking bonkers. I almost gave in to the desire to have him teach me how to fly one. My better sense kicked in when I realized that would mean actually getting into one with him. If a tenth of the shit he told me was true, I can’t even begin to fathom what that shit was like. He didn’t strike me as the type to bother to pad the truth, either.


OK, in the search for WMD, I found a few gems. watch if you dare.

Some of you may have fond memories of the song, but oh, that audience. Let’s face it, the 70s were a travesty.
Clorox and ammonia.


This tie proves that the 80s weren’t looking to be much better.
Claymore in an oil drum full of ricin.


Lest we forget how truly awful things were even before the 70s…
This one might as well have Slim Pickens riding it all the way down.


To try to make up for this, I give you the nuke, defused, with a much better soundtrack.


Did someone say: “A large bowl of dicks is always appreciated?”


Found by Jennifer.

Girl from UNCLE

I’m calling the Hague. That Phillip Michael Thomas video is definitely violates the Geneva Convention.

Since I’m mostly a lurker, consider me collateral damage.

The dude abides

The “nukalar option”:


Midge Ure is Clod.


The Cheeky Flamenco:


And now for something completely different.

There’s a lot of good places to visit on the innert00bz. Have another.


My puma just died after about 111 months – he was the essential love of my suffocating vulgar life. He took an octahedron to the nose and died some months thereafter. He used to cross those wings with that sense of concentration each time he used the litter-box.


I blame the inane nightmares

Oh, so don’t I!


Since this thread got so involved with bags and bowls of dicks, as well as escalating the Vidwar, I think it only appropriate to release this horror, the video equivalent of Captain Trips, a descent into viral weapons of the most appalling sort.

Note: Not even remotely safe for work, and I blame my fishy friend for making me run out of brain bleach.



Chopper pilots in the Grand Savannah, Venezuela—very crazy and very good.


People are always saying “not safe for work” but I ask you, when has work ever been safe for the people? So far, thanks to the workplace, I have two serious permanent and entirely preventable health problems. That rude dancing appendage video couldn’t hurt a flea…

Update on the Whitehouse plagiarist. It seems he’s done this before. I’m shocked!


I thought that Philip Michael Thomas guy looked familiar, and I have found out where I recognized him from! Notice he still has the forehead thing going on in the video!


I missed the drinking party. Does anyone need an aspirin?


Does anyone need an aspirin?

Or 20.

P.S. Right wing fluffer Ramesh Ponnaru, hard at work.


Upon reflection, what we need here this evening is some Tom of Finland mixed with some Oompa-Loompas.

How about Tom of Finland mixed with some Monty Python?


Does anyone need an aspirin?

Yes! And a decongestant, and perhaps a nice antihistamine!



I’m off to Van Nuys to get a bowl of pho this afternoon. That’s good for hangovers AND colds.


Did someone say: “A large bowl of dicks is always appreciated?”

What you have in that clip is a large bowl of spoon worms, Urechis unicinctus.
I’m sorry… I thought this was the Pedantry Olympics thread.


Not even remotely safe for work, and I blame my fishy friend for making me run out of brain bleach.

That left me no alternative but to track down further quotes from the Malleus Maleficarum.

For a certain man tells that, when he had lost his member, he approached a known witch to ask her to restore it to him. She told the afflicted man to climb a certain tree, and that he might take which he liked out of the nest in which there were several members. And when he tried to take a big one, the witch said: You must not take that one; adding, because it belongs to a parish priest.


Just as every day is Earth Day, every thread forms part of the Pedantry Olympics, as either trials or the Games themselves.


The fact is, increased rates of imprisonment have helped to bring about falling rates of crime. Given the alternative of the way we treated crime in the 1960s and 1970s, when I see a headline about a record incarceration rate, I’m glad. Aren’t you?


Each thread is also an Ignorance-About-Criminology-Thread.


I would think that Gary would be arguing for lower incarceration rates. Conservatives are such a puzzle.


The fact is, every Halloween, parents have to worry if their children will return home. Just because Gary Ruppert hasn’t been locked up yet.

The fact is, every day, parents living in countries smaller than the U.S. have to worry if their children will return home. Just because Elliot Abrams hasn’t been locked up yet.

The fact is, we aren’t getting much for our imprisonment tax dollars, because republicans/criminals are spending them.


From my front page news feed:

Bush: Listen to generals on troop levels (AP)

Yeah, you know, like he listened to General Shinseki before the invasion.

‘Stop exporting terror,’ Bush tells Ahmadinejad (AFP)

What, idiot boy, he should start importing terror? Or do you just wish he’d run Iran more like America, and invade a couple of countries halfway around the world that are no threat to him, maybe Malawi and Lichtenstein?



Oh, and if anybody’s looking for a little friendly weekend wagering, I got fifty bucks says Medvedev will pull out a win…



The fact is, increased rates of imprisonment have helped to bring about a cheap source of labour for American corporations. The fact is, liberals should be happy about this because it keeps jobs at home!


This blog is grinding to a halt again. Seems on the decline of late.


Looks like Ted doesn’t appreciate our company.


The fact is, Ted doesn’t know a weekend when he sees one.


Ted, when I was a little boy I used to whine to my mom “I’m bored”.

She’d always tell me you have to make your own fun.

On weekends, it seems, that’s the deal around here.

Whaddaya got? Some various ethic types walking into a bar?

A righteous recipe?

A medieval discussion of lost dicks?

Speaking of which, Herr Clyde, was the loss of one’s penis a significant problem in the fifteenth century, perhaps similar to hair loss might be today? Because it would otherwise seem odd that this particular clergyman might address it by offering real world solutions like “Climb a tree”….



I do have to say that TRex, Balloon Juice and Sadly, No! are all exceptionally skilled at finding the worst fucking music videos ever produced. LOL! You Tube now scares the hell out of me.


This blog is grinding to a halt again. Seems on the decline of late.

Ted, I’m glad Teh Proprietors are smart enough to give themselves weekend breaks from trolling through the fReichtard sewers for our amusement. And if you don’t like the conversations, you are always free to start a new comment thread.

(Hmpfh. Kids, these days. *My* generation knew how to make its own fun, dammit… )

Mikey, Herr Clyde: There is, I’m told, a fairly widespread modern delusion that ill-inclined magicians can cause a man’s genitals to retract into his body, sometimes with the subdelusion that such retraction will result in death. From the Wikipedia page on “penis panic”:

These panics frequently, but not exclusively, occur in places where access to education—particularly in science and human biology—is limited, or otherwise restricted (for example, when government policies restrict such education). Others have been reported under the influence of drug use.

Perhaps we inform our trolls that there is a name and a treatment for their primitive terrors?


Ok, I’m back from Van Nuys. Big steaming bowl of Pho Tai help banish the hangover fairy.

Then I did one of my favorite things, which was to go next door to the Ranch 99 Asian market, and buy all kinds of cool stuff.

I bought 6 different kinds of packaged candy, most of it Japanese, with pictures of cartoon bunnies on the front and gummy mango-flavored taffy inside. Also some pink hard candies shaped like flowers, with flowers on the wrappers. Also some ginger candy from Indonesia.

then I bought some fruit and veggies for about 1/2 theprice of the markets in my neighborhood, and a pound and half of flank steak to marinate for tomorrow. For today I bought 2 pounds of shrimp, which I’m going to boil up and chill.

At Ranch 99 they sell all kind of varieties of whole fish. You can pick your fish, and the guys there will clean it, or chop it into steaks. They will even fry it for you to take home.

I bought a pink phalenopsis orchid plant in bloom, for $13. I bought a blueberry smoothie. And I bought some kim chee.

I love that place!!!


I think the members were in the nest because a bird stole them. Birds are always stealing things in old stories, like princesses and babies and Sinbad.

How they got them, I don’t know. Some people misplace everything else, why not those?


I’m skipping the aspirin and going straight back to gin. I certainly can’t watch this shit while sober.

[rooting around for the Marinol]

Smiling Mortician

She’d always tell me you have to make your own fun.

Okey-dokey. Have y’all seen this?

Well, I thought it was funny . . .


Well, I thought it was funny . . .

Okay okay okay I gotta tell this one:

How do you keep a moron in suspense?


Well now I’ve gone and forgotten the punch line.


My moron died. He needed lots of suspense, and I was out of Depends.


Wow. Check this out!

Turns out that channel 406 is the hunting channel.

I had no idea

Hell, I can watch hillbillies in camo shoot great big animals with great big rifles all damn day long.

THAT’S what I call entertainment.




As much as I respect the proprietors’ need for weekends, what about ME? Weekends are when I have time to burn on blog reading. Maybe they could line up some second-stringers for the weekend shift?

Or maybe not.

In any case, I just had a delightful appetizer dinner of roasted red peppers with roasted elephant garlic and cheese on baguette, along with baked brie topped with mango chutney and toasted almonds on crackers with sliced apple on the side.

Mmmm, good.


You know what this thread needs?


Whatever happened to that guy?


Mmm. jennifer.

I am chilling the boiled shrimp. We have a bottle of prosecco in the fridge; I’ve juiced a half a dozen blood oranges (with one navel orange thrown in for volume) and I think we’re going to sip some blood orange mimosas with our shrimp cocktails. Maybe a little sliced avocado on the side.

It’s been grey and foggy all day.


My Bruce just died after about 119 hours – he was the love of my wanton drunken life. What he had was a crushed thorax and if I had the money he would have lived many more minutes. I blame the accursed battle axe.


The fact is, Ted doesn’t know a weekend when he sees one.

The fact is, Rary Guppert apparently hasn’t been around here for a couple years or more, and thus doesn’t recall when this group blog of now seven contributors could pull off more than one YouTube drop post in a day, and nothing else.

Ok, I get the point of the responses to my complaint, but still. This used to be a much livelier place in the last couple of years.

I only complain because I want my Sadly.


Sadly, No! is a state of mind. Wherever pets die, S, N! is there. Wherever Wignuttia is mocked, S, N! is there. Wherever music videos are used as assault weapons, S, N! is there.


Posted on the chest of a barmaid from Sale
Was a tatoo of all the prices of ale.
Pasted on her behind,
for the sake of the blind,
was precisely the same, but in braille.


As recompense for the many, many minutes of shitty youtube linked in the post and comments we’ve all had to suffer over the past 24 hours, I offer you this.


I’m making these little apps I heard about. Pastry cups in mini muffin tins filled with tomato, garlic, onion, bacon, cheese and basil in a heavy yogurt suspension.

I don’t know, they’re just in the oven now, but I suspect they’re gonna be freakin good.

Then I’m going over to my friend kimmy’s house for some conversation and abuse…



I think the members were in the nest because a bird stole them.
Despite the bird’s best efforts to feed them, they refuse to eat caterpillars.


My best member died after sixty years. It was starved on a diet of oats and tuna. Sadly, it denounced me with it’s last breath.



this is so boring I wouldn’t mind a reappearance of Hysterical Loonist. Or Rogered in Montana.


All of the potentially viral files that I picked up while surfing videos yesterday and today just died. My anti-virus ratted on them. There is no honor among programs any more.


getting boring? I think we need an encore of this video:


although it would have been better about 12 hours ago…


Well, I’d love to stick around and complain, but I’m in motion.

Going to a little party.

But I AM taking the littlest computer with me. Because I’m an insufferable geek.

And chicks think it’s cute…



God damn us all to hell. I’m coming back for more – please please please more stomach churningly bad utubes. PLEASE!

My other half works in public broadcasting. He’s in charge of, inter alia, on-air fundraising at a large PBS/NPR licensee. So this evening, we have to have Daniell fucking O’Donnell on! ARAGHGAZRAHRAHAARTA!!!!! If he wasn’t hosting this piece of shit I’d be okay BECAUSE I WOULDN”T BE WATCHING IT. But hubby turns into Larry goddamn Sanders several times each year.

Give me something I can watch and survive!!!!

Oh, righty.
“Pork filet charcuterie” HT: Jaques Pepin’s Gnocchi maison (Parisian style). Frisee salad with lardon and fried egg. Cheese selection.
Tanqueray 10 martinis to start, (thank Dog, we started a while ago). A local Willammette Valley Pinot Noir. Cheap vintage Port (I have some Taylor Fladgate hanging around, I think).

And, if I get around to it, Dutch apple cake with my own Xmas coffee. (just ask)


er, it’s from Jaques Pepin’s Table</em. I love that guy.


OK. Fine. I’m stepping away from the keyboard now. No need for that, I’m done.

My Socrates died due to a surfeit of chicken entrails. He keeps invading my lucid dreams.


A local Willammette Valley Pinot Noir.

I love you for this!!! I wish I was in the Willamette Valley now!


was the loss of one’s penis a significant problem in the fifteenth century, perhaps similar to hair loss might be today?

They did not have Big Pharma then, or multimillion-dollar advertising campaigns, to create sell them the drugs that would deal with the problem.
On another matter, it is sad how the Silvanus Defense has fallen out of favour among politicians.

… the devil transformed himself into the appearance of St. Silvanus, Bishop of Nazareth, a friend of St. Jerome. And this devil approached a noble woman by night in her bed and began first to provoke and entice her with lewd words, and then invited her to perform the sinful act. And when she called out, the devil in the form of the saintly Bishop hid under the woman’s bed, and being sought for and found there, he in lickerish language declared lyingly that he was the Bishop Silvanus. On the morrow therefore, when the devil had disappeared, the holy man was scandalously defamed…


Are we so bored that we could even tolerate a little complaint about work?

I know its asking for a lot.

But, man, things are going to shit at my job. Not that I’m in danger of losing it, but it’s getting fucking weird.

I got a boss who doesn’t come to work until about 1 p.m.; when he does, he spends a lot of time in his office with the door shut – which gives the distinct message that you can’t talk to him.

Also, he’s always “sick” – he’ll say he was planning to take some work home and finish it for tomorrow, or he’ll say he’ll come in on the weekend and work, and then the next time I talk to him, he’ll say, “Oh, my back went out” or “I came down with a stomach virus,” or something like this.

Can I also mention that he’s a micromanager, so all the “work” that he’s planning to do over the weekend or at night after hours are things that I’m working on that I can’t go any further with until he reviews them?

Also – with the inaccessibility – our policies tend to be very nuanced, so often I have to consult him on what kind of answer to give to a customer’s question – and he’s never fucking available!

Word is – his boss is going to demote him. Only the gossip network isn’t saying what’s going to happen to the people who report to him.

Our jobs are safe – I work for a public agency and I’m represented by a union. But – man – this is fucked up.



I feel for ya, bro. Sounds like classic dysfunctional beaurocratia. You familiar with Stan Lem?

I am _so_ happy to be self unemployed. Even though it does the bug the fcuk out of my ever-lovin hubby.

[nah, I do work when I can find it. Been lucky lately too. Those dot-heads are gonna hafta deal with the fact that us Murrican engineers now work almost as cheaply as they do]


Off topic- They’re gonna try n give Ben Stein’s movie Expelled a serious media campaign.
Which means the whole lying to everyone they interviewed that didn’t agree with them is gonna get press. Funfun.


Is it just me, or does anybody else have a problem with SNL putting a white cast member in blackface and portraying Obama as an idiot?

Will SNL be featuring their Obama eating fried chicken and drinking a 40 while giving McCain a halo?


I see your point, Gerry, but my biggest objection to SNL’s Obama is just that it’s painfully bad. I mean really, truly, completely awful. Without the context, I wouldn’t have guessed who it was supposed to be. Ungh.


Why are any of you watching SNL?
Amy Poehler is great and all, but UCB season one and two are out on dvd.
SNL died a decade ago.


I dunno, diff brad. That guy they had doing Giuliani was pretty spot on.


Pffft. SNL hasn’t had, apart from Poehler and TV Funhouse, real comedy talent for a long, long time.
They forgot sketch comedy is supposed to make people laugh.



You are right. It’s ridiculous for SNL to portray Obama as an idiot. He is suave and slick. His followers, on the other hand, now that’s a bunch of pathetic idiots.


Man, I luv the cult of Obama meme.
Then again, to my ears it translates as “I’m scared of change, and don’t know how to adapt to the landscape shifting under my feet.”
The left is back, baby.


His followers, on the other hand, now that’s a bunch of pathetic idiots.

Do his followers count as “everybody who will vote for him” or is there some smaller subset to demonize?


The researchers obtained data on all the clinical trials submitted to the FDA for the licensing of dicksepine, membrazone, redoncadone, and paroxysine. They then used meta-analytic techniques to investigate whether the initial severity of penis retraction affected the Stolen-Penis-Severity improvement scores for the drug and placebo groups in these trials. They confirmed first that the overall effect of these new generation of antiretractants was below the recommended criteria for clinical significance. Then they showed that there was virtually no difference in the improvement scores for drug and placebo in patients with moderate penis retraction and only a small and clinically insignificant difference among patients with very severe penis retraction. The difference in improvement between the antiretractant and placebo reached clinical significance, however, in patients with initial SPS scores of more than 28—that is, in the most severely penis-retracted patients. Additional analyses indicated that the apparent clinical effectiveness of the antiretractants among these most severely penis-retracted patients reflected a decreased responsiveness to placebo rather than an increased responsiveness to antiretractants.

Inspired by http://reallysmallfish.blogspot.com/2008/02/scientific-inbox.html. Like you care.


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