“Look, Lady, How Did You Get This Number?”
Posted on February 29th, 2008 by Gavin M.
Hillary Ad: Who Do You Want Answering The White House Phone At 3 a.m.?
Hillary Clinton has a new ad in Texas, making what is perhaps her most forceful argument yet against Barack Obama on national security:
[phone ringing]
“It’s 3 a.m., and your children are safe and asleep,” the announcer says. “But there’s a phone in the White House, and it’s ringing — something’s happening in the world. Your vote will decide who answers that call.”
“Hello? No, ma’am, I’m not aware of a Hugh Jass on staff here. Listen, could you call
the switchboard in the morning? …Uh, yes, I assume the refrigerator is running.”
Look, if my window was broken in at 3AM, I’d rather call my mother than the local stoner skateboard punk, so I think the ad is dynamite!
Obama’s response was classic:
via The Great Orange Satan
While I’ve never had a “red phone moment” at 3am, I’ve had plenty of red palm moments around that hour.
I don’t get the point here. What’s she implying, that Obama’s going to let it go to Voice Mail?
via The Great Orange Satan
God, I thought for sure that would be a link to some piece by Lou Dobbs.
Just a BillO riff.
Why yes, I always wear a business suit at 3:00 in the morning! I was ready from day one! All day, all night! and how do you like my black-framed glasses, like all the young people wear? Yet serious, too! I am so experienced and responsible! And ready! Now, what were you calling about?
Yes, because I always call the White House when I have a problem.
*eye roll*
It’s been done before:
Not long before that time, young Kevin found a direct phone number for the Oval Office among his father’s notes. He made the ultimate prank call. “I said, ‘Is your refrigerator running?’ That kind of thing,” he says. On the other end of the line, “I think it was Rose Mary Woods,”
If only she had hung up, pulled back the head of a Shakepeare bust, and pressed the cave button, I would vote for her.
The phone rings at 3:00 AM? That can only be one kind of call.
Because you sure don’t want that black Muslim guy answering your phone call at 3 am? What?
You know if she’s always up til 3am + it could explain the moodiness.
I think it would be more effective if Clinton ended the ad with Obama hiding under his desk sucking his thumb.
Last time my phone rang early in the morning, it was my dad calling me at home on the west coast to tell me the Twin Towers were burning and that he couldn’t get in touch with my sister in Manhattan.
Shit, at least Hilllary and Barack would pick the phone UP. Bush just sat in a classroom for seven minutes on “hold”.
Regarding national security, I do recall what it was like when I was a young parent, watching over my sleeping children. I couldn’t help but wonder, as I wandered the hallways of my home at 3 a.m., whether there was someone who would answer the phone at the White House if it rang.
The thought obsessed me. Was the switchboard staffed? Did they have an automated message (“If you’re calling to RSVP for the State Dinner with the President of France, press 1. If you’re calling to reserve a place on the White House tour, press 2. If you’re calling to speak to the Vice President, press 3. If you’re a foreign leader calling to warn of imminent attack, press 4. At any time, you may press 0 to speak to an operator.”)?
And yet more worries consumed me. Was the phone on the President’s or the First Lady’s nightstand? Was the ring tone loud enough? What if he was a heavy sleeper, and picked it up only to hang up again? Would he knock over his glass of water in his haste to answer, causing a spill on some important documents? What if it was a wrong number and he pressed the red button by mistake?
Yes, I certainly see how the parents of America’s sleeping children will find this ad compelling.
Obama’s response was classic:
Agreed. He’s a class act. Too bad he’s a Muslim sleeper cell that won’t be ready to lead until 25 hours after his inaguration.
And don’t forget – that phone call might just be the Chinese calling to ask if we can pay those T-bills back.
And don’t forget – that phone call might just be the Chinese calling to ask if we can pay those T-bills back.
“Please hold for an important message from Shanghai Bank.”
If it’s phone schtick as a criteria then my vote is either for Patricia Routledge (Hyacinth Bucket (it’s Bouquet))or Bob Newhart.
3am phone calls?
The White House?
Can I score an eightball from the White House at 3am?
Is that what they’re saying?
I mean, what else might one need so urgently it can’t wait ’til business hours,fer cryin out loud…
mikey
I love it. Every time Hillary tries to hit Obama, he uses it as another free chance to smack McCain and Bush. It’s so easy.
Should that have been criterion? And is it schtick or shtick? What’s that? Google?
Did they have an automated message
Right now they do. It’s Dick Cheney’s voice saying “Go fuck yourself”.
I think the scene should have her saying “He’s not here. Who is this?”
You know if she’s always up til 3am + it could explain the moodiness.
She’s only up because she’s waiting for Bill to get home.
I think it would be more effective if Clinton ended the ad with Obama hiding under his desk sucking his thumb.
Or a white woman under the desk sucking Obama.
Cheese and rice Pedestrian. Not even the most cynical campaign would.. **sigh** belay my last.
I think that Ernestine (Lilly Tomlin) needs to get in on this action.
Somebody at TPM put this up. I’m keeping it.
Gaaa…Lily.
I think the scene should have her saying “He’s not here. Who is this?”
“Hello? Hello?…..I can hear you breathing! Dammit, is this you, Monica, you little xxxxxx? You quit calling here and stay away from my man! I am so going to get the IRS all over your xxx!”
I feel like a dirty republican enjoying the cuckold humor. Can you call a woman a cuckold?
Voice on the other end of the phone: “Hillary, this is Barack, are you in the Oval Office again? Do I have to ask the Secret Service to remove you from the building?”
“Not even the most cynical campaign would…”
Just trying to think like a Republican – which seems to be Hillary’s angle these days.
Again: Do. Not. Call. List.
Listen, my husband and I are both fucking lawyers! Hold on.
Bill!
I’d love to hear Bob Newhart answer that call.
J- nailed it.
When my phone rings at 3 AM, I’m thinking Booty Call!
And if that’s what’s goin’ on, I would want The Clenis there, locked and loaded.
Maybe we should have a Bill Clinton/Barack Obama ‘Sword Fight’ to settle this once and for all. Like a XXX Cage Match or something.
The first one to get Martha Stewart off wins.
Barack is far too sophisticated to fall for that sort of thing. My guess is that he’ll be answering the phone like this:
“Hello, DC Funeral Home. You plug ’em, we plant ’em. How may I direct you call?”
However, as much as I love and support Sen. Obama, the fact that he is a bit of a greenhorn means that he might indeed fall prey, after a series of calls asking, “Is Mr. Wu there?”, to being on the receiving end when the final call comes in with, “This is Mr. Wu. Any calls for me?”
“Fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.” Stutters McDrinkypants (R-Tard)
The first one to get Martha Stewart off wins.
Thanks Toby. Now I have to go home and scrub my imagination with a brillo pad.
I do what I can.
BTW, if I remember correctly, when WJC was at his desk at that hour of the morning, national affairs wasn’t the only thing being attended to. If that is what HRC is alluding to in her ad, the least she could do would be to smile a bit.
In the photo, her expression seems to say, “What? No, not you. I was just telling him he was doing it ALL wrong!”
Huganskiss? First name Amanda. Hold on.. “I’M LOOKING FOR AMANDA HUGANDKISS, AMANDA HUGANDKISS!”
They pulled that one on reagan all the time. he always fell for it…
Normally at the Clintons when the phone rings at 3am and Hillary Answers, the caller immediately hangs up. So yeah, she’s always on top of late night phone calls.
And what is exactly her claim to experience in crisis management? She’s the Senator of a large state, she met a lot of world leaders, some of whom are still around, as a first lady. This is a good ad… if you’re McCain. There isn’t anything about this ad that says Hillary has some quality that Obama doesn’t which in turn McCain wouldn’t have all over the both of them. If that were a real issue in the first place.
Also, wasn’t the “red phone” just with the Soviets? Not that late night calls don’t signify a crisis, but this really seems targeted at the cold war generation. A good Obama ad would have a phone next to Hillary at 3am suddenly light up and buzzes with a wrong number text: “ZOMG!!!11! IRawK@Karaoke iransofar=the BOMB!!1 BFFSandi”
Hillary: “Bill what does this mean”
Bill: “I think Sandy Burger just said Iran is bombing Iraq, get the football we better go nuclear. Yeee Ha!”
Phone rings at 3:00 a.m.
Hillary: “Hello?”
(noises, jukebox playing in the background, glasses clinking)
Voice on the phone: “Uh…Hill?”
HIllary: “Is that you, Bill?”
(female laughter)
Voice: “Hi Babe, it’s me.” sotto voce “Shh! Shh, honey! I’m on the phone!”
Voice continues: ” Uh, yeah, hon. I called to say I’m gonna home be a little late tonight.”
The only proper way to answer a 3 a.m. call is “Yes, I’d like a large pizza, everything BUT NO FUCKING ANCHOVIES. And extra cheese.
I answer many of my incoming calls that way.
“Jenna, your father doesn’t live here anymore. If you need to get sprung from jail, you need to call Crawford and get him to come up for you. Sorry.”
Actually the hotline with the Soviet Union was a special telex machine. Remember those, anybody?
This all presumes, of course, that the WH continues to get telephone service if the telecoms don’t get immunity.
“Jenna, your father doesn’t live here anymore. If you need to get sprung from jail, you need to call Crawford and get him to come up for you. Sorry.”
Pfff. George Bush didn’t live in Crawford before he needed a pig farm for his photo ops and he’s not going back after.
…you better vote for the person who wants you to think and hope.
Hillary’s ad is a message of hope – there’s still hope for the unwashed masses to come out of their trance and nominate a president who will fight off the horrible furriner hordes that will otherwise murder us all in our beds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
what else might one need so urgently it can’t wait ’til business hours
Damn. Here I was, thinking that 3 a.m. was business hours in MikeyWorld.
And if it’s 3 a.m. in Washington, it will be mid-afternoon for the dude in the Halliburton call-centre in Bangalore who actually answers the call, so what’s the problem?
[…] Reactions on the Left Blogosphere are divided between “How pathetic is this?” (Obama supporters) and “Obama is mean, too” (Clinton supporters). Oh, and also Gavin’s take. […]
What if the call is coming from inside the White House?
Pfff. George Bush didn’t live in Crawford before he needed a pig farm for his photo ops and he’s not going back after.
I grant that Jr. wouldn’t go back if he had a choice, but I don’t think that even Houston would have him now. Think George would be able to retire to NY (and later NJ) like Nixon did? Think that George is going to be asked for his opinion and invited to fancy cocktail parties like (God help us) Nixon was? Think again.
Hillary: Hello?
Caller: I’m the Viper. I vant to vash and vipe your vindows.
Everyone…sing it!
(chorus)
and she says baby
it’s 3am I must be lonely
when she says baby
well I can’t help but be scared of it all sometimes
she says the rain’s gonna wash away I believe it
INTERIOR OVAL OFFICE NIGHT
SFX: PHONE RINGING
PRESIDENT CLINTON, tested and ready from Day One, realizes the entire responsibility of keeping America’s kids safe in their beds rests on her shoulders. Steeling her resolve, she picks up the phone.
CLINTON: “Something’s happening, you say? In the world? At 3 AM? Okay, better nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.”
I would have loved to see this ad used during the Bush campaign. He would have been holding a Fisher Price phone upside down.
The White House still uses land lines?
Hey, t4toby. I saw that ad and thought, “Three in the morning? There’s only one thing that could be.” And I think the scene would be markedly similar in either a Clinton or Obama White House.
or
No doubt he’ll be out Killing Whitey — but I don’t see why he couldn’t forward the red phone to his cell.
If it’s phone schtick as a criteria then my vote is either for Patricia Routledge (Hyacinth Bucket (it’s Bouquet))or Bob Newhart. – Pirelli’s Purse
But Patricia Routledge wasn’t born an American Citizen, was she?
If Hyacinth Bucket were Pres., the Whitehouse would be guaranteed a 3:00 AM phone call. And it would be collect. And it would be from Sheridan. And he would be asking for money.
We need Batman!
Yes, commissioner?
This reminds me of my favorite Clinton-phone joke.
It’s 1999 and Hillary is preparing her first Senate campaign. She’s working day and night on a platform when she starts to feel poorly. She visits the doctor and gets amazing news — she’s pregnant.
As she walks out of the doctor’s office, she realizes how difficult this situation is. She feels to old to be a mother again! It’s going to disrupt her Senate run! The more she thinks about it, the madder she gets. Finally, she whips out her cell phone and dials the inside line to the White House residence.
Bill answers.
Hillary lays into him. “Bill, you son of a bitch! Now you’ve done it! You’ve gotten me pregnant!”
There’s a long pause.
And Bill says “….who is this?”
Can ANYONE explain to me the bizarre SHillary/DLC meme attempting to preserve the meme “conservative” as a good thing?
The word’s now linked to the worst Pretzledent in Amer. history and any liberal should be emphasizing Bush-conservative ad nauseum. But Hillary attacks Obama’s “inexperience” saying we “trusted Bush to be a compassionate conservative and he was neither!” I read this in my San Francisco Chronicle Sun. and my jaw dropped. I saw Shillary say it yesterday on Leher news hr. interview.
Does the DLC think they can save the idea of conservatism by branding Bush a “fake” conservative or even a “liberal”? (I knew Kerry was prob. doomed after the debate in ’04 when Chimpy called him “too liberal” and JK made no defense of the ideal liberal.
Hillary had not called Bush “reactionary” & we know she’s voted w/ him time & time again (Bankruptcy, for the war, Patriot Act, NCLB etc.) WTF does the DLC think it’s pulling here?
MarktheSpark, Obama’s doing something similar. The other day I saw a headline (I think it was at The Raw Story) that read “Obama Defends Liberal Label” and I clicked through, thinking, y’know, that I’d be reading an article in which Obama says it’s good to be liberal. But no. Quote after quote of Obama saying “It’s not liberal to . . . (fill in the blank with whatever he supports).” It was really depressing.
Either Democrat is better than the “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere” current WH occupant.
“Fine, fine, you’re wearing a pantsuit. [attempts to start heavy breathing again] What ELSE are you wearing?”
BTW, if I’m McCain my ad is “I’m 72– I’ll be up and at my third piss by 3 A.M., you feel me?”
“I don’t think that even Houston would have him (Frat Boy) now.”
I heard Frat Boy’s
main enablerwife, Laura, say in an interview yesterday on the Today Show, or one of those others, (hey, I was in a patient’s room and they were watching it. I only change channels on the comatose, and this one wasaliveawake) that they were moving to Dallas to supervise the construction of his main monument to himself at SMU.I guess she’s not supposed to say “Paraguay” when she’s asked where they’re going next January.
I’m the Viper. I vant to vash and vipe your vindows.
Ooo, I did that one.
Phones are so much worse these days.
wouldn’t bush actually be going to U R Gay, er, i mean Uruguay instead?
they were moving to Dallas
Would you want to live in the same city as your mother-in-law if she were Barbara Bush?
But I’m glad we don’t have to put up with another bunch of Bushes. Although for some strange reason Babs and Poppy don’t appear in public very often.
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