Uh-oh

Eep:

Bush: US Is Not Headed Into Recession

This should fit in well with Bush’s other confident statements-o’-fact:

And of course…

missionaccomplished.jpg

Hold onto your wallets, friends. This economy’s headed straight down the dumper.


William F. Buckley adds:

tombstone4.jpg

 

Comments: 68

 
 
 

The fact is, you liberals are always saying the economy is bad, when it’s not. It’s great. Lots of jobs and opportunity for the hard worker and smart investor. Leftists are always about doom and gloom because they want to scare you into socialism. Here in the Heartland, we’re not buying that!

 
 

Well, the economy was almost 100% likely to go into the shitter anyway; all this does is make it impossible for it to NOT go into the shitter….

He’s the man with the scobie touch, no doubt about it.

 
 

Here in the Heartland, we’re not buying that!

..or bread, or milk, or gas, since no one has any money….

 
 

I still can’t get past this statement, which I quoted in another thread:

“Why don’t we let stimulus package 1, which seemed like a good idea at the time, have a chance to kick in?”

WTF? “Good idea at the time”?

 
 

here in the heartland, we are getting paid record prices for our corn. by the government.

but we hate socialism.

 
 

I’ll make sure to pass Gary’s comment along to my friends in the heartland who recently lost their factory jobs as another example of how little Repubicans care about them.

 
 

[…] Ah, crap.  Sadly, No! beats me to the punch, and is funnier, of course.  Great minds think alike, even if one is greater than the other? […]

 
 

The fact is, socailism is a disisentive to work hard, and people in the wrong line of work need to get better trained and educated and become more competitive, don;’t look for handouts from us here, in the heartland, we pull ourselfs up by our boots.

 
 

Leftists are always about doom and gloom because they want to scare you into socialism.

The Economy Alert is orange, shading into vermillion. Can we torture some capitalists now?

 
 

The fact is, stop being biased against reality, or divorced from it as a great journalist once said. It is true that the hard-left cannot survive in the real world, so they try to make the government do there dirty work, or all work more like it. Here in the heartland we are self-suficient.

 
 

in the heartland, we pull ourselfs up by our boots wangs.

Fixed…

mikey

 
 

Gary, you’re my favorite ideological pervert. Your words are as off topic as they are humorously shallow.

It’s always a pleasure to read your work.

 
 

Here in the heartland we are self-suficient stimulating.

Fixed again…

mikey

 
 

[…] with a track record like this, the question begs to be asked: what sort of fucked up psychopath do you have to be to believe a […]

 
 

Trust the reverse Midas touch, eh Brad?

 
 

I wonder why no one in the media asks why we even NEED a stimulus package, since all those 2001 tax cuts for rich folk were going to lift all boats, or trickle down, or some such shit.

OK, I don’t “wonder,” I marvel, and I try to stay away from sharp objects.

 
 

Well, the right wing explains the sub-prime crisis by blaming (1) the darkies, and (2) darkie-loving liberals.

Ya see, if the danged liberals hadn’t a done their “Community Reinvestment Act” to force banks to just hand over money to any danged minority type to just come along and demand money, none of this stuff woulda happened.

You may think I’m joking about that. Just Google the key terms to see the output of drivel.

 
 

“so they try to make the government do there dirty work” I believe that would be their. Stupid ass.

 
 

Imagine if you could get W to harness this power for good. Get him to go out proclaiming that we won’t cure cancer this decade, that there won’t be peace on Earth, that I won’t get a rocket car for my birthday.

 
 

Here in the heartland we are self-suficient.

The reason that Gary thinks that we are self-suficient in the heartland is because not one of us heartlanders needs him. Thanks but no thanks Gary. We’re doing just fine without you.

 
 

Gaaaa. We do need dictionaries though. Sufficient.

 
 

Here in the heartland we don’t turn being from the “heartland” into a fetish like Gary does. Who died and left Gary the spokesman for the entire “heartland”? My guess is it was the same person who taught Gary how to spell.

 
 

Six months from now, we’ll hear, “No one could have foreseen this collapse of the world economy.”

 
 

I hate to have to say it, but I’m with Roy Edroso. The country needs a recession, specifically NYC does. Badly. Everything that makes NYC wonderful is being turned into banks and hat boutiques, and I’m surrounded by hipsters who want to make their insecurities your problem and yunnies (young urban narcissists, my fav new word) who want you to buy them a $30 martini and pretend their lives are historical dramas. We need a recession and a crime wave to scare these people back to the midwest.
And yes, I know the recession will hurt everyone but the douches I just mentioned, and yes, that makes me all the sadder n angrier.

 
 

Per capita Federal dollars spent, Federal Income Tax burden, and ratio.

The fact is, it would be a violation of our parody troll’s method to dally with the facts, but here they are.

 
 

Sadly, NO!, ITTDGY, Gary won’t be able to understand all that in any realistic context.

What are the GOP without their racist, homophobic, xenophobic (look it up, G.), uneducated base?

20%.

 
 

this is not the Gary of my youth….

this:

socailism is a disisentive to work hard

comes close – but too clever by half

i dont think the real gary would use incentive or disincentive in a sentence. I dont like this fake Gary. I mean just using the fact is… does not make you a gary. You gotta have some charming logical flaws and some naivete….

 
 

The best thing about all of those NRA Republicans is 600 well placed bullets changes the ownership of %40 of the property in America.

 
 

Gary, You want to know a disincentive for hard work? Not letting the workers in on a share of the profits generated by their increased productivity. Which has been the case in the United States for the last ten years or so.

 
 

Yes, but we should not need to share in the material benefits of our increased productivity. If we really love our country we will happily work harder and harder for less and less so that someone will read about our productivity figures and be proud.

 
 

Oh Brad, how could you have forgotten Bush’s incredibly insightful observation of Putin:

“I looked the man in the eye. I found him to be very straight forward and trustworthy and we had a very good dialogue. I was able to get a sense of his soul.”

 
 

If there’s even a chance of recession, hadn’t we better permanentize those tax cuts now?

And since there seems to be an oil problem, we better throw some more tax breaks at Exxon.

And let’s spend an extra $500 B make it a Trillion Dollars on the “war.”

If I can think of any other ways to prop up our economy I’ll propose those too.

 
 

You want to know what happens in the noble Midwest during a recession? They all abandon it and come to the Sunbelt. In the 80s we had a flood of Northerners fleeing the earlier decimation of the auto industry, looking for work. They bitched and whined about the Southerners and wandered off when they realized it wasn’t much better here, at least not at the time.

 
 

El Cid, we can only be proud if our productivity figures are favorably compared with Deer Leader’s latest 5 year plan.

ING CAP, dontcha know.

The average American’s response is neither admiration nor envy, but rather a kind of sick pride in their own wretchedness, combined with righteous contempt for their European worker counterparts, whom most Americans see as morally degenerate precisely because they have more leisure time, more job security, health benefits and other advantages.

The more things change, the more they don’t.

And those Uropeeans can even buy more stuff with their Euros.

This just proves waht a failure the Eurofaggycommiefascistislamoterror system truly is. And that is central to my point.

 
 

don’t forget looking into the soul of Putin and seeing goodness …

 
 

Whoa whoa whoa with the midwestern bashing! Jeez. I’ve lived in the same MN county all my life and have no intention of invading your territory so that I can tell you my problems or tell you why it’s not good enough. Go ahead and bash Gary but he’s fake most of the time and probably not even a real heartlander (whatever the hell that is). Your town might be a nice place to visit but it doesn’t mean we all want to flee there.

 
 

Hell, my towns not even a nice place to visit.

(But SF is, and at least we have both righteous Pho AND fish Tacos)

mikey

 
 

Mr. Ruppert,

I am a conservative but I haven’t gone to work in months because I have been in fear of an imminent attack from Islamo-fatshits.

I think the economy is going sour because we’re all ascared of Mullah Obama.

-Concerned Conservative

 
 

If we really love our country we will happily work harder and harder for less and less so that someone will read about our productivity figures and be proud.
The Murdoch press does actually use that argument. I’m remembering an Editorial in the Age [Sydney newspaper] a few weeks ago, which described the low ratio of leisure time to working hours across the Australian work-force as beneficial to “the national self-esteem” as well as to the economy.

 
 

Ahh, yes. SF. I usually visit friends there in the winter. I didn’t get a chance this year and I’m missing it. I could flee there but I can’t afford it.

 
Smiling Mortician
 

Nobody, but nobody, likes to visit my town. It is but one of several reasons that I’m relatively happy here.

 
 

Uh, yeah gbear. Dear old Minnesota. So we have you to thank for Michelle Bachman?

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) justified the conservative plan to give tax breaks to corporations — instead of working Americans — by arguing that people actually like working long hours:

“I am so proud to be from the state of Minnesota. We’re the workingest state in the country, and the reason why we are, we have more people that are working longer hours, we have people that are working two jobs.”

Couldn’t you work your two jobs in SF? Maybe a third, part-time? That would surely endear you to your heartland compatriots.

[no, I don’t blame you gbear]

 
 

And as for Pho, I spit on your city! ptui!

Actually, I’m unaware of anywhere on the left coast these days one can’t find great Pho. Here in the Great Pacific Northwest (by great I I mean everything that aint Seattle) they put it in the zoning laws. Can’t do any urban-D unless you plan in a Pho bar.

 
 

So is Gary a 19% er? Does he still approve of the job Bush is doing?

 
 

PeeJ, every day Minnesotan’s outside of Bachman’s district bow to the east and thank her suburban constituents for sending her to DC and getting her the hell out of state politics. She’s a joke in DC but she was a bull in the china shop in the state legislature.

 
 

No Midwestern offense meant. They were angry and disappointed; it was bad times for everyone here, when oil was $12 a barrel and there was no work.

 
 

Out here in the heartland there are no stars….

Out here we is stoned… Immaculate!

 
 

Susan of Texas said,

February 29, 2008 at 5:18

No Midwestern offense meant. They were angry and disappointed; it was bad times for everyone here, when oil was $12 a barrel and there was no work.

Now oil is $102 a barrel. And people everywhere save for the oil industry are losing work.

(Sekrit) Mission Accomplished!

 
 

We open up our JanusNode. Then cut and paste Gary’s latest post into the output window (the output window behaves a little strangely but you’ll figure it out).

Then you hit “Make TextDNA” and another little window pops up asking you to choose which brainfood files to work from. Choose ’em all except for syllables. JanusNode will start churning, trying to replace every text element it recognizes with a variable from its files. When it’s done it’ll ask you if you want to write from it right away. Do so. It’ll ask you how many lines you want to print, choose a number, and off you go.

The escapism is, stop greeding biased against reality, or divorced into it as one less biological journalist unmelodiously unharnessed. It is bitten that the periodically-heedfully cannot coexist in the real mouth, so I throw something to waste the government walrus there glazed expressionism, or innumerable expressionism more like it. Philly in the heartland some of you are scream-suficient.

A great many delusion is, stop treeing biased against reality, or divorced inside of it as my falling journalist mellowly held. It is poignant that a great many warningly-overeagerly cannot brighten in a great many real loudness, so some of them walk to own a great many government puppy there translucent bombardment, or countless bombardment more like it. Norfolk in a great many heartland I are inside-suficient.

 
 

It is Bitten.

Hee hee.

Ok, I’m pretty fucked up, but that IS funny.

Um, isn’t it?

mikey

 
 

If not funny, it’s nothing if not scream-sufficient.

 
 

If only Janus could spell properly.

 
 

Scream-sufficient is the keeper I think. But…

so some of them walk to own a great many government puppy

Awww…government puppies!

 
 

Yes, I could appreciate a countless bombardment of government puppies this evening.

Except they’re probably all wired for sound….

 
 

The fact is, you liberals are always saying the economy is bad, when it’s not. It’s great. …[yadda yadda]… Here in the Heartland, we’re not buying that!

Gary, the fact is the rate of suicide for farmers on the verge of losing their farms in the heartland is disproportionately, high compared to the rest of the U.S. population; and the rate of depression among the unemployed in the heartland is staggering. Of course you and your peeps in the Heartland aren’t buying it–you’re all part of the growning population of Americans who “self-medicate” with ethanol to deal with depression!

 
 

I hate to point this out, but your dimwit (Bush, not Gary) might be right.

US is not *headed* into into recession (shouldn’t that be heading? Doesn’t headed mean sort of intentionally driven? English is not my first language, so I miss these subleties occationally.)

Some consider US already being in the recession.

So technically, if he says it is not headed, he is correct.

Oh, and can someone explain a non-us people this whole heartland stuff? I assume it is some geographical definition(most likely middle of US), but could be wrong.

 
 

I demand better-spelling Garys. And government puppies sounds suspiciously like hippie socialism. Privatize puppies now!

 
the formaldehyde council
 

We’d like to remind you that we will be supplying a house for every government puppy that is issued, if anyone ever completes the paperwork to FEMA satisfaction…

 
 

My last government puppy never moved. He just sat there and stared at me with his enormous brown puppy eye. Eventually his red light stopped blinking and I buried him out by the daffodils.

 
 

Yes, but we should not need to share in the material benefits of our increased productivity. If we really love our country we will happily work harder and harder for less and less so that someone will read about our productivity figures and be proud.

“Advance the Five Year Plan, Comrades!”

Fixed.

 
 

Here in the Great Pacific Northwest (by great I I mean everything that aint (sic) Seattle)…

Hey! Take that back!

What, you think Kent is all that? Federal Way, perhaps?

ptui, yourself.

 
 

Oh, and can someone explain a non-us people this whole heartland stuff? I assume it is some geographical definition(most likely middle of US), but could be wrong.

LD, “teh Heartland” could roughly be described as the area drained by the Mississippi and Missouri Rivers or everything that isn’t the coasts. Or perhaps as America’s soft underbelly.

Mostly, the Heartland is a state of mind.

Oh, and a myth.

 
 

Another one of my favorite Bush statements ‘o fact is:

“We have a strong dollar policy”.

He says it over and over, with a straight face, just like he’s told.

Pretty good for a legacy skull-and-bones boy. (Who says they can’t be trained?)

PS- if you haven’t noticed yet, the daring 2001 investment strategy of buying Euros (or Pounds, or Canadian dollars, for that matter) and sticking them in your mattress has handsomely beat the Dow, S+P, NASDAQ, and any other stock index you can think of.

Wait. Make that any other _American_ stock index you can think of.

 
 

I drowned my government puppy in the bath. The clockwork Grover Norquist in my head told me too.

 
 

pdq, gold has worked out nicely too, glad I saw that coming.

 
 

[…] Sadly, No! » Uh-oh Hold onto your wallets, friends. This economy’s headed straight down the dumper. (tags: bush stupidity wingnuts recession) […]

 
 

[…] was only two weeks ago that Bush told us he didn’t think the economy was headed toward recession. The guy’s […]

 
 

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