God this is good stuff
Republican presidential candidate John McCain defended his belief that U.S. troops will need to stay in Iraq for decades Monday but said the unpopular war will soon end “for all intents and purposes.”
McCain said his potential Democratic rivals have distorted his January comment that U.S. forces may need to remain in Iraq for up to 100 years. Speaking at a campaign event in suburban Cleveland, Ohio, he said that referred to a long-term American presence similar to those in South Korea or Kuwait.
“My friends, the war will be over soon … for all intents and purposes, although the insurgency will go on for years and years and years,” the Arizona senator said. “But it will be handled by the Iraqis, not by us.”
Nope, I got no idea how to reconcile this.
If the insurgency will go on for years, how will the war be over? If it can be handled by Iraqis, why do we need over 140,000 troops to stay there indefinitely? And does McCain not see that the key difference between the American presence in South Korea and Kuwait and the American presence in Iraq is that the South Koreans and Kuwaitis are not, in fact, launching a decades-long insurgency against American forces?
If either Obama or Hillary manages to lose to this guy, they will be on my shitlist for the next 100 years. Or until the war is over. Whichever happens first.
That sounds like a manufactured excerpt. Not nearly enough “my friends” or stories about how the first radio broadcasts were just Thomas Edison reciting the alphabet.
Every time McCain says “my friends” I get a mental image of Sweeney Todd singing to his razors. Chilling!
Decades? Years? WTF those? I Need to know how goddamn many Friedman units we’re talking about here.
How about waterboarding? Will he guarantee that’ll go on for 100 years too?
Our troops will be there, and there will be continued violence, but it won’t be a “war,” it’ll be downgraded to a “persistent conflict.” Also, the troops won’t be “combatants” they’ll be, oh, let’s call them “advisors.” And deaths of US personnel will no longer be “casualties,” they’ll be “unplanned force reductions.”
But it won’t be a war, so what are you complaining about?
I’m waiting for McCane to bend over and watch his Geritol, Metamucil, and Viagra come flying out of his coat pocket on a campaign stop in Walla Walla. Or someone to ask him if he can text message his grandkids or download iTunes.
Let’s go full-on demo about just what a geezer this wrinkley is.
What really weirds me out about McCain is that animatronic thing he keeps beside him. Everyone calls it Cindy. Is that some sort of acronym?
Anyway, I’m pretty damn sure those “eyes” are actually high energy lasers.
WOW!
The latest Day by Day is… I mean… the word “sproing” is used in it in reference to Captain Ed!
I am not kidding.
McWang is trying to hint that he’d pull the soldiers out but he can’t just say he’ll pull the soldiers out because that would
enrage the chi-consembolden the terrorists.Let’s say McCain wins. Would he deal with the coming problems by raising taxes, regulating, and reducing numbers in Iraq, or would he bomb Iran and clamp down on civil liberties?
I wouldn’t worry- at his this rate he’s going to have his hands full beating Nader. He can’t even spend any money until September unless he wants to go to prison.
McCain is working the kinks out early. He’s checking to see how the kind of bullshit that goes unquestioned in the asphyxiatingly thin air of the bongosphere plays in Peoria.
I expect he’s smart enough to notice that such gibberish evaporates on contact with common sense. The problem for him is that he is both tempermentally and gerontologically destined to say many, many more things that will also need to be spun.
Yeah, but the South Koreans don’t like us very much, and they sometimes even beat up U.S. soldiers when they hit on Korean women. So it’s all the same, really.
“the bongosphere”?
Permission to steal!
Also, @ Thers:
Does anyone understand that comic? “Twitch” “Sproing”? Climaxing in the mention of an ad image and slogan?
Assuming this isn’t some kind of subtlety of a high order, what–I know, what else is new–does he think he’s doing? Not-funny is one thing. Not-comprehensible is another.
Oh sweet Jeebus!
Check out that link Thers posted!
I want a lawyer, stat! Someone needs to stand up for those poor characters!
SPROING! I guess there’s a little Captain in all of us?
Maybe we can get together a class action suit against Muir for general pervyness and shitty drawing skills.
I get the feeling that Mike Huckabee is hanging around in the not-improbable event that John McCain totally fucks himself and causes his candidacy to implode in short order. I can’t think of a weaker presidential nominee than one who’s:
1.) Already framed himself as the anti-change candidate
2.) Staked his own success to that of the Iraq War
3.) Adopted the policies and rhetoric of a most unpopular president
4.) Running on nothing but his mythical reputation
5.) Broke
6.) Potentially in violation of Federal Law and could be investigated
7.) More or less despised by the base of his party. McAmnesty anyone?
8.) Is old as dirt, and would be THE oldest president*
9.) Has a penchant for nonchalantly saying regrettable things**
10.) Running against the most well-funded Democrats in history
11.) Home State Campaign co-chair has been indicted†
12.) Decrying lobbyists while indulging and employing them‡
13.) Now been accused of adultery to boot!
This is just a baker’s dozen reasons off the top of my head. The list goes on and on. There’s simply no *reason* that John McCain should be the next president, given these facts. That said, nothing can be taken for granted. As these serious issues garner more attention, and McCain’s forced to address them, he’s liable to say or do something which jeopardizes his candidacy and causes the Republican Party to freak out more than it already is. Huckabee (and to be sure, Romney) are waiting in the wings for just such an opportunity (perhaps the Huckster IS a miracle man after all).
McCain had his chance in 2000 and pussied out to a subliterate yokel who plays dirty. He alone can determine how ugly and abhorrent the forthcoming attacks upon Barack Obama will be, and I suspect that he’s willing to look the other way if he thinks it will help him win.
McCain isn’t doing himself any favors by into Nixon territory with bullshit talk of the war being “over soon” and “with honor.” Here’s hoping that that McCain can hold his shit together at least until after he’s the official nominee, at which point there will be no turning back and the odds of him blowing it increase exponentially.
* he’s not even a goddamn baby boomer, how the hell is that going to fly?
** This sublist is so long but in brief: “Bomb Iran,” “100 years,” “1000 years,” “10,000 years,” (yes he said that), “Lobbyists don’t give me any money,” “There will be more wars,” “Economics is Something That I’ve Really Never Understood,” “gooks,” that he can “walk freely” in ares Bagdad…
†Soon to be former disgraced Rep. Rick Renzi
‡His chief political advisor, lobbyist Charlie Black, lobbies from aboard the Straight Talk Express.
“My friends, the war will be over soon … for all intents and purposes, although the insurgency will go on for years and years and years,” the Arizona senator said. “But it will be handled by the Iraqis, not by us.”
McCain forgot to say, “And the best part is— it’ll all be paid for by Iraqi oil revenues!”
Huh. A half naked woman with “twitch”, “sproing”, and “got a captain in all of us”. Yep, Muir would definitely be better off as a Hentai cartoonist.
Just change the name of those 140,000 troops to advisors. Problem solved. Now they can be there forever.
“My friends, I will soon be handing over the nomination to Romney”
LOL, silly Brad! Vast differences in analogies, effectively to the point that said analogies are laughably ass-stupid, do not destroy the analogy. It is these key and dispositive differences between Korea and Germany v. Iraq that make them even more alike! Indeed, this is central to McCain’s point.
“I think that clearly my fortunes have a lot to do with what’s happening in Iraq, and I’m proud of that” — John McCain
Is McCain insane? It’ll be fun to watch him grapple with these forthcoming events:
March – Fifth anniversary of a war that was supposed to last ‘months not years’
Spring – At the current rate of casualties, the unfortunate milestone of 4,000 dead american servicemembers will be reached.
Summer – typically when the violence in Iraq is at its worst
August – the military will be forced by logistics and personnel problems to withdraw the surge forces because they cannot be sustained, potentially weakening security.
All this culminating in early September for the GOP nomination, and this is what John McCain is “proud” to have yolked himself to?
Does that lackwit McCain not recognize that the Korean War – ahem – *Korean Conflict* STILL isn’t over?
I like bulgogi, yaki mandu and Teh Soju Experience as much as any Uhmurrican veteran who’s ever spent time in The Land of The Morning Calm, but Korea’s not over “for all intents and purposes.” Go take one of the guided tours of the DMZ and Panmunjom, and see if you don’t get a weirdly nostalgic kind of Cold War vibe up there. And if that doesn’t work, try running across the border and see how quick your ass gets shot dead by the Nork troopies.
IMO, the example of Korea is a really shitty one to use if you’re trying to convince Americans that things will be peachy-keen in Iraq in another Friedman Unit or two. Either McCain’s a stupid asshole, or else he thinks we all are.
Or both, maybe.
Of course, the length of the troops stay is dependent on how much oil remains in there. If the Iraq oil runs out in 50 years, why, we can have our troops out as early as 2059. Good news!
Of course there won’t be any fuel left to bring them home with; but, at least they won’t be deployed any more.
No! Just, No!
That is the worst Day by Day ever.
EvAr!!!!!1!!!!!1111!!!!square root of 121!!!!!!
Why does it make me feel so queasy?
It’s not a war already – it’s a Reliberation! (See the Rich Lowery link in the thread below.) Since liberations are joyous, reliberations are even more joyous. If this shit continues on for years or decades, we can have Rereliberations, Rerereliberations, and so on… the fun will just keep building up.
Masterminds like Lowery understand that we don’t need to end the war, we just need a steady supply of catch-phrases.
“My friends, the war will be over soon … “
for all in tents and porpoises.
Since liberations are joyous, reliberations are even more joyous.
What was that line from The Liberation of Earth? “No planet in the history of the galaxy had ever been as thoroughly liberated as Earth” — or something like that.
A friend is a former Army interrogator (the kind who asks questions and follows the Army Field Manual, not the kind who performs “simulated drowning”) who was stationed in Korea. His reaction to the first approving comparison, a few months ago, of Iraq to North Korea was very similar to yours.
To wit, “WTF? Someone out there thinks that’s a good thing?”
To those who attempt to use the South Korea model, can we please ask them to show us where will be the border beyond which our troops will safely be stationed and not blown up regularly?
‘Cause I don’t see any DMZ in Iraq so far.
Well-spotted, El Cid. Well-spotted.
And if we need further differentiating criteria, Iraq’s missing the inexpensive hookers and strong liquor that can be found near most US military posts in the Republic of Korea.
No insurgency in Korea? Really? Then how in hell do you explain the following how-to manual? wherein Teh Terrorists — fiendishly disguised here as adorably cute K-Pop music stars — use Korean-made cell phones to single-handedly bring down the Thousand-Year Permanent Republican Majority.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7vZ4TNMv2Q
Chilling stuff, which really puts the daily handful of car bombs and IED’s in Iraq into perspective.
You know, we still have troops in Germany.
I think his point was something like that.
It’s a pretty shitty point.
“What really weirds me out about McCain is that animatronic thing he keeps beside him. Everyone calls it Cindy. Is that some sort of acronym?”
OMG, somebody has GOT to make a spoof McCain video like one of those old Robert Palmer videos.