We do it to help, not because we ran out of ideas
If you want grade A quality wingnut roundups, go to World O’Crap. If you want derivative, uninspired third-rate wingnut roundups, keep reading. Today’s special is: all your favorite wingnuts imitate Seinfeld.
First up, the future Mrs. Pete M., one Karen H. Pittman:
Then a funny thing happened on the way to eighteen: my body rebelled. I grew up, too. The metamorphosis didn’t take place overnight?I didn’t suddenly become a monster the way the Wolf Man did.
Sidra: And by the way… they’re real… and they’re spectacular!
Back then I was serious. I couldn’t understand why all those mad grownups running round loose in the world didn’t see what I saw. Of course war was bad. Were they insane? I mean, wasn’t it obvious?
Elaine: That is so true! Although one wonders if “War and Peace” would has been as highly acclaimed as it was if it was published under it’s original name “War –What Is It Good For?”
But that’s what growing up is, isn’t it?a slow, methodical, ruthless strangling of innocence.
Buckles: “Rochelle, Rochelle”… A young girl’s strange, erotic journey from Milan to Minsk.
Next up, Carey Roberts:
I’m an unabashed fan of women’s tennis and figure skating. I love the artistry and grace. But many of the Olympic sports have little to do with artistry or grace.
Elaine: Alright, alright, look – I don’t have grace, I don’t want grace…I don’t even say grace, O.K.?
Let’s hear from Vanilla Ice Marck C. Abbott:
To his credit, Keyes seems to be taking it all in stride. He won’t let such vociferous criticism stifle his unconditionally pro-life, pro-family message.
Kramer: It’s not a pizza until it comes out of the oven!
Poppie: It’s a pizza the moment you put your fists in the dough!
Last and least, we bring you Ed Daley:
At this point I can only ask this: WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE EXPECT?
Kramer: Emphysema, birth defects, cancer. But not this.
Elaine: I love the Sadly, No!
Jerry: How could you not like the Sadly, No!?
Kramer: I love the Sadly, No!
the future Mrs. Pete M., one Karen H. Pittman
From your mouth to Karen’s ear, Seb.
I love Karen H. Pittman! She is so awful. I particularly liked the column where she got her mole bent out of shape because somebody called her a bad writer — and she did this in the middle of a column that was, politely put, incoherent and not just poorly, but execrably, written.
Yo Yo Ma!
Although one wonders if “War and Peace” would has been as highly acclaimed as it was if it was published under it’s original name “War –What Is It Good For?”
I see the person who transcribed this episode, and Kerry L. Marsala, learned about apostrophes from the same person.
“If I had a son, I would name him Isosceles. Isosceles Kramer.”
This post brought to you by generous donations from Vandelay Enterprises and Kramerica Industries.
This post brought to you by generous donations from Vandelay Enterprises and Kramerica Industries.
Employing people who’ve always wanted to pretend they were architects.
Bragging that you are well-read and deeply influenced by literature because you read Hamlet and Oedipus, as most of us did in high school, is a lot like saying that you really love music and that The Beatles’ Greatest Hits is your favorite album.