Shorter Chris Muir

Day by Day strip, Feb. 21, 2008

chrismuir2d.jpg
Above: Muir

  • Michelle Obama equals Hitler. [talk radio blaring] Heh-heh. It’s funny because it’s true. [aroma of moldy pizza boxes and dried semen] Heh-heh. [talk radio blaring] Welp, there’s another strip finished. [surfs BarelyLegalAsianTeens.com] I do declare, the far-left fascist Hitler-commie liberals are so far out of the mainstream, it’s pathetic. [talk radio blaring] [windows are blacked-out with tinfoil] [single bare light bulb swings on its cord, illuminating dark apartment at noon] Ha-ha, liberals. [reaches for fresh tissue, encounters empty box, rummages for dirty tube sock on floor]

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.


[Hanx! javafascist]

 

Comments: 112

 
 
 

Bottom of the barrel and digging like mad for china.

 
 

It really is rare that someone is willing to so openly display their most disturbing sexual fantasies. You could almost admire him if he weren’t such a pathetic wanker.

And I still would like someone to explain to me how working = Nazi. Is he advocating welfare instead? Scandalous!

 
 

His site is a disaster. Only the ads load, and one of them is for “Otakubooty,” where nerds hook up. Or something like that.

And somehow, I’m grateful for that crappy website design, because I was spared having to look at another Chris Muir cartoon.

 
 

His lurid inner life is so on display in the middle frame it is amazing.

Rarely do you get to see so clearly what makes these assholes tick.

It’s all there. Thinly veiled admiration for fascism, obsession with impossibly proportioned female bodies, implied nipples…

 
 

As I said in a previous thread, I love how that woman gains 20 pounds between frames.

And since when do wingnuts think the poor not working is a good thing? Well, other than wingnut welfare, natch.

 
 

And in an iPod moment of serendipitous random play, I just heard John Gorka’s Brown Shirts

 
 

Imported from previous thread because I’m the idiot who hit the wrong button:
__________________________

Edited final frame of Muir’s cartoon today:

Middle Bubble: “Yes, actually it’s the perfect example.”

Bottom Bubble: “Were you making a joke? I feel uncomfortable.”

 
 

Chris Muir is Fredo Corleone?

 
 

Jesus fuck that’s a nutball cartoon.

 
 

They’re poo-flinging monkeys. No reason, no logic, no coherence, no irony, wit or knowledge. Just poo. Being flung. Before they go back to picking off lice and flicking them away.

 
 

They’re poo-flinging monkeys. No reason, no logic, no coherence, no irony, wit or knowledge. Just poo. Being flung. Before they go back to picking off lice and flicking them away.

Indeed, Susan. Especially no humor, except the inherent humor of watching a monkey fling poo. Which is, i guess, the entire reason I visit S,N!

 
 

Huh, Michelle is a Nazi and Obama is a Communist? How does that even work?

 
 

It’s like watching a cow trying to tap dance. You’ve got to give the poor dear credit for trying, but it’s not art.

 
 

Gosh, he may be a candidate for my coveted “Worst Website in the World.”

 
 

Attention Jack Chick: Your legacy is being tarnished.

 
 

I’m sure I’m pointing out the obvious, but that shit didn’t even make sense.

 
 

Huh, Michelle is a Nazi and Obama is a Communist? How does that even work?

That is indeed central to the point of Liberal Fascism.

(At this point I always hear a tinny robot voice: “Does not compute! Does not compute! Gahhhhhhh!”)

 
 

That is supposed to be “Nazi writing”? It looks suspiciously “Jewish” to me. Either Chris Muir is playing along with the latest “Obama is a Jewish Commie” line of attack or he has never heard of the Antiqua-Fraktur Dispute.

 
 

If you put 100 monkeys in a room with 100 drafting boards, in 12 hours they would create the entire Chris Muir ouevre…with 11 hours left over. If you gave them typewriters as well, they could use the leftover time to produce the complete works of Ayn Rand. And also, to smear their feces all over the walls.

But I repeat myself….

 
 

In what prison system do the inmates wear blue jumpsuits? I thought every state’s DOC went with orange?

 
 

Ok, I looked at it.

I SO don’t get it.

I mean, after I read it I knew LESS about it than before.

And those distorted females kind of creep me out.

Like something you’d dream after too much Ny Quil…

mikey

 
 

The whole comic doesn’t make any sense. The problem isn’t that the jokes aren’t funny. The problem is there are no jokes at all to even evaluate as funny or not.

I can’t even get past the English. “Did I make Godwin’s Law?” What the hell?

 
Principal Blackman
 

Huh, Michelle is a Nazi and Obama is a Communist? How does that even work?

You silly person, don’t you understand that both are forms of radical leftism? Stupid liberals always letting facts get in the way of Known Truth.

 
 

oh god, that’s the worst one yet! I think I need to pour drano in my ears to clear out the clog that has created in my brain.

Where to begin: the relatively harmless quote dummied up with an illegible font, the fact that her ‘hitler impression’ consisted of putting a finger over her lip…. the fact that Muir has to put a swastika in the background so we ‘get’ the ‘joke’?

Then we get to something that I’ve never considered before, which is the fact that every man in this comic strip looks like a mid-’90s loft living hipster 20 something. Doesn’t one of them have a kid? Why do they have the same goatee? Do either of them look like they’d ever have voted for Bush? And what is Muir supposed to be saying with that? Or trying to say?

Oh, and how are those two chuckleheads that amused by this “impression”?

Can we vote to revoke his web privileges?

 
 

And I know not one single person who is like those that inhabit Day By Day. Urban, sophisticated, stylish, and beautiful people who are also raving Freeper morons simply do not exist. And judging by Muir’s sterling mug, that holds true of Day By Day’s “artist,” as well.

Though I’m sure it feels good for wingnuts to see a made-up well-put-together black man agree with everything they hold dear. Rrrrrrrright, fellas.

 
 

And the final “funny”, such as it is, is the guy saying “do that again”? WTF?!? It sounds like Muir’s coming right out and saying that dictators give him wood!

 
 

Huh, Michelle is a Nazi and Obama is a Communist? How does that even work?

It works out fine and dandy, since both Nazism and Communism are completely compatible left-wing fascist ideologies, doncha know.

It’s true! I read about it in Liberal Fascism! Pick up a copy, plunk down into your favorite comfy chair with a bag of Crunchy Cheetos and edumacate yourself!

 
 

This just in! Jay Ambrose makes me laugh:

About the only thing newly reported was the romance rumor, and since this is the kind of matter The New York Times now trafficks in, I have a couple of propositions for the rag. There are lots and lots of cheap, ugly, unverified rumors about Barack Obama and Hillary Rodham Clinton out there. In Clinton’s case, they have been floating around for years. The Obama rumors are newer. It won’t take much work in either instance to find them — the Web is bloated with this claptrap — and then The New York Times can strike.

It can take one of the more lurid Clinton rumors, and then dress it up in a news story as a thought-provoking introduction to ruminations on some very real events, such as how she once made a mint on cattle futures. It can then use some outlandish rumor about Obama to pull readers into a piece seriously reflecting at interminable length on his well-known real-estate deal with a Chicago influence peddler. As with the McCain story, it can play both of these stories on the top of its front page.

But it won’t, of course. The New York Times confines its yellow journalism to stories about Republicans.

Shorter Jay Ambrose: I wish the ridiculous rumors about Obama were printed in the NYT, and were also true, but the first one is more important.

 
Trilateral Chairman
 

It’s all there. Thinly veiled admiration for fascism, obsession with impossibly proportioned female bodies, implied nipples…

And, of course, absolutely no need to wear a bra. Her breasts stay perfectly positioned on their own.

I should also note that the sentence

“Did I make Godwin’s Law-where one loses by invoking Nazism?”

is not even coherent. I understand what is meant, but…*make* a law? What, is she a legislator named Godwin?

 
 

Christ, I can’t believe I actually looked at that. It’s worse than I expected.

“HAY GUYZ LOOK I’M MICHELLE OBAMA!! SIEG HEIL!!!”

“*SPURT*”

 
 

Disgusting pig. It is almost inconceivable that even a fascist swine like Muir would scrawl this. I know, Godwins law, but appropriate for his shitty strip.

 
 

Oh, by the way, two days ago he had another really creepy breastfeeding comic….thup thup thup thup…

Gavin, I think it’s more likely he visits lactatingladies.com.

 
 

Or mommygotboobs.com

 
 

plunk down into your favorite comfy chair with a bag of Crunchy Cheetos

or you could add some peanuts and chopped beef sticks to your Cheetos and make a nice troll mix.

 
 

I’m grateful for the Day by Day strip for informing my historical knowledge. Nazism is defined by not loving America *every single day*.

 
 

Am I the only one bothered by the fact that the lines shaping the woman’s breast cross right through her clothing? It’s almost like he drew her naked first and then just colored it in.

 
 

Rightwingsnarkle said,

In what prison system do the inmates wear blue jumpsuits? I thought every state’s DOC went with orange?

They issue orange jumpsuits in prison.

They issue blue pajamas in mental institutions.

 
 

dude, chris muir never fails to disgust me somehow, but this time i actually feel a little sick to my stomach.

 
 

Nope.

I went back and read the strip a second time after taking another fistful of Miltowns and waiting a half hour, but it still doesn’t make any sense to me whatsoever.

OTOH, I don’t feel as mellow as I usually would at this point, so the strip must be having some effect on me.

 
 

“HAY GUYZ LOOK I’M MICHELLE OBAMA!! SIEG HEIL!!!”

“*SPURT*”
Dare I say this is a better ‘Shorter’?

Am I the only one bothered by the fact that the lines shaping the woman’s breast cross right through her clothing? It’s almost like he drew her naked first and then just colored it in.

Nope, that’s what I was talkin’ about.

 
 

Argh! I wasn’t going to link to it. I didn’t really want to see it. But I went over to TBogg’s site and he’s got it plastered right on his page. At least I didn’t have to give Muir’s site a hit, but man, that IS bad. TBogg is so cruel.

I think Muir stole all of his characters from The October Project.

 
 

Jesus Tapdancing Christ, that doesn’t even approximate funny…

Something about art imitating life?

 
 

In March the next waves of ARMs reset. Banks are hanging on by a thread. Who knows what’s happening with the hudge funds etc. Conservatives are about to have the kinds of problems than some crappy cartoon slur can’t counteract.

We’re going to have a black or woman president. That is so cool. Even cooler will be watching the racist conservatives out themselves in their frenzy of bigotry.

 
 

BTW-

Barack never allow you to go back to your lives as usual, unt uniformed

Seriously, WTF???!?? unt? Uniformed? Where did ‘will’ go?

(Where’s the interrobang when I need one?)

 
 

A) “Did I make Godwin’s Law?” He’s never heard of the word “invoke.”

B) That dude can’t draw for shit. In the second panel, judging by her cleavage, she has no sternum.

C) He is really, really turned on by Nazis, isn’t he?

 
 

It’s better than Mallard Fillmore or Prickly City in the way that John McCain is better than Rudy Giuliani or Mitt Romney.

 
 

Seriously, bet you a dollar he did that strip while he was drunk off his ass.

 
 

Folks, the questionable grammar, missing words, baffling spelling, etc. are all explained by the basic fact that typing’s hard when one hand’s busy and the other’s all coated in spunk.

 
 

Or the way that Dr. BLT is better than Saul or Kevin.

 
 

Saul isn’t Kevin?

 
 

Or the way that George H.W. Bush is better than Ronald Reagan or George W. Bush.

 
 

Folks: my understanding is that Muir simply writes DBD and outsources the art. Can anyone confirm or deny this?

 
 

Or the way that Joe Liberman is better than George Allen or Rick Santorum.

 
 

Seriously, bet you a dollar he did that strip while he was drunk off his ass.

Bet taken!

 
 

When I was in Las Vegas a few years back, someone plastered an ad for “Barely Asian Teens” on my windshield. I still don’t know quite what that means.

 
 

Somebody writes DBD?

I thought it was just transcribed from Glenn Beck’s show.

 
 

It is very odd that Chris Muir of all people has not received the proper talking points that Obama is a socialist. The quotation supports that perfectly well in the right-wing mind.
(Ed Morrissey surmises that he is making fun of Bush-Hitler analogies. But someone needs to have a consistent set of talking points. Obama cannot be a Nazi and a communist at the same time unless you are Jonah Goldberg.)

 
 

Folks: my understanding is that Muir simply writes DBD and outsources the art.

Not exactly, as far as I can recall. He doesn’t actually draw much and uses templates over and over again. Google him and “interview” and you can find him blabbing on about his technique, although I haven’t the stomach to go through that crap again.

 
 

I would guess Barely Asian Teens would mean teens from former Soviet nations that are as much in Europe as in Asia. Like, say, the Ukraine. Or Belarus.

Or maybe Indonesia? Would that be Barely Asia?

 
 

“Technique.”

Is THAT what the kids are calling it these days?

 
 

“Antiqua-Fraktur Dispute.”

Well, to be honest I’ve never heard of it either.

Fascinating historical footnote, tho. Especially after such a shitty cartoon, and the first SadlyNo bit of prose to make me simultaneously laugh and feel nauseous.

 
 

Day By Day Hack-Tastic!

Fixed.

 
 

This was funny.

 
 

Seriously, bet you a dollar he did that strip while he was drunk off his ass.

Bet taken!

Well, now we just need to figure out how to determine his level of intoxication.

I don’t need to go to his hovel and draw his blood, do I? (Though I’m sure I could draw blood better than he draws his cartoon, b’dum-pshh!)

 
 

Great. Because his list check to his dominatrix bounced, we all have to suffer.

 
 

last check, dammit.

 
 

Shorter Christ Muir:

Redhead: “I’m even cuter cuz I only give blowjobs to conservatives!”
Black Man: “At least I didn’t have to say anything racist this time”
Whte Man: fwapa fwapa fwapa

 
 

Randroids should not be allowed to do humor.

 
 

Hoosier-

They don’t.

 
 

I don’t know, I thought parts of “The Fountainhead” movie were hysterical. The jamhammer. The quivering woman, sexual tension rising to a peak. More jackhammer.

 
 

Those both should be jackhammer, not jamhammer. Which sounds very messy.

 
 

The 2/17 is also interesting. Jan isn’t invited to the “guy visit” which, later strips reveal, consists of the guys drinking coffee and gawping at the breastfeeding mom.

 
 

Dunno if everyone’s already suffered through this, but here’s a couple of deadly dull interviews with Muir while he was in Iraq.

http://blog.hiwired.com/archives/2007/11/catching_up_wit_1.html

He pooh-poohs the question about his failure to actually get his strip printed in ANYTHING by saying print media is dying and the MSM can’t handle his scathing, hot wit anyways and…

Ugh, forget it. It’s only funny in the same way eating Scandinavian salt licorice candy is funny. The joke’s on you.

 
 

I don’t know, I thought parts of “The Fountainhead” movie were hysterical.

No way, they made a movie out of that shit? How did they play off the rape scene? Or was that Atlas Shrugged? (Yeah I read them all. Lot’s of nerdy gay white boys go throught this Ayn Rand phase. It’s like the whole circuit party stereotype, but more destructive.)

 
 

Chris Muir looks like a real catch, eh gals?

 
 

No, I think jamhammer was right.

[nervously pulls collar from neck]

 
 

I want to thank everyone for setting me straight about the Obama Nazi/Commie marriage.

I thought that maybe they were getting marriage counseling from James Carville and Mary Matalan.

 
 

Azerbaijan is barely Asian.

 
 

Could we have some sort of internationally-recognized warning sign that the upcoming paragraph is going to cause one to imagine the smell of Chris Muir’s dried semen?

 
 

[talk radio blaring] Welp, there’s another strip finished. [surfs BarelyLegalAsianTeens.com]

Hey, I know a site where you can get talk radio AND a barely legal asian at the same time… (cue cheerleader video)

 
 

I want to thank everyone for setting me straight about the Obama Nazi/Commie marriage.

I thought that maybe they were getting marriage counseling from James Carville and Mary Matalan.

I was thinking maybe Muir’s dominatrix has a funny mustache and leaves him all red.

 
 

It’s only funny in the same way eating Scandinavian salt licorice candy is funny. The joke’s on you.

I couldn’t agree with you more. Does anyone actually like those nasty little things?

Peddy- I read both of Ayn Rands big books, as well. At the time I was all pumped up to go make my way in the world. The man’s world. There for the taking. For men.

Thank Jeebus I passed through that phase quickly and quietly.

 
 

Ed Morrissey surmises that he is making fun of Bush-Hitler analogies.

Who, exactly, is making Bush-Hitler analogies on February 21, 2008?

Randroids should not be allowed to do humor.

Oh, the old Cox & Forkum archives are consistently Win. I especially love the one showing the Iraqi insurgency as a dying scorpion…the cartoon is dated from around April 2003. Heh indoozle.

 
 

Although I agree that the Muir strip us beneath his even his usually abysmal standards I am thankful for one thing:

That is supposed to be “Nazi writing”? It looks suspiciously “Jewish” to me. Either Chris Muir is playing along with the latest “Obama is a Jewish Commie” line of attack or he has never heard of the Antiqua-Fraktur Dispute.

Thanks to the linked wikipedia article, I at long last have a reference on how to read my German Aunt’s handwriting!! I love getting letters from her but they’re so damn hard to translate because I keep getting confused about what letters have umlauts and which just have little lines over them for no apparent reason, etc. I had no idea about this battle of typefaces, though I was familiar with the Fraktur set for classical German books. With the illustrations of these typefaces in Wikipedia and how they were taught in the old German pre-war educational system, I’ll have a much easier time translating her letters!

Thanks so much for the unintentional heads-up, DAS! I guess this episodes proves the adage that even from something utterly crapulent, some good can come!

 
 

Even cooler will be watching the racist conservatives out themselves in their frenzy of bigotry.

They’re not much for strategic thinking, are they? Scorched-earth race baiting will be the approach for all but the few smartest, because they’re so used to being able to say any old hauled-outta-their-ass thing and not get called on it. Without a single clue that that kind of shit will turn a lot of people against them.

I expect the rest of the election season on the right to resemble GHW Bush’s incoherent “Ozone, man, ozone!” rant, but way nastier.

They just can’t imagine any other way of functioning than attack.

 
 

Boy, he must really be hurtin’ for traffic if he’s ladling up this sewage.
Why, I almost feel sorry for the guy.
Almost.
Naaaahhhhhhh.

 
 

You know, I was almost willing to defend the guy’s penchant for drawing relentlessly languid women and angular gayish men as a kind of “style,” albeit a strange and perhaps revealing one — but that strip is just sick. Not even close to funny — just sick.

 
 

The key word there is ‘almost’.

 
 

It’s better than Mallard Fillmore or Prickly City in the way that John McCain is better than Rudy Giuliani or Mitt Romney.

Chris Muir makes me think of a sad single guy sitting in his mom’s basement wishing he had a slutty-looking wife and black friends. The guy who makes “Mallard Fillmore” makes me think of someone who’s about this close from taking his high-powered rifle down to the nearest bell tower.

 
 

BarelyLegalAsianTeens.com

Crap. I have to upgrade my Hustler subscription…

 
 

So she’s got the brown shirt, the hat, and the swastika armband, but no Hitler prop-`stache? C’mon Muir, who are you fucking kidding?

 
 

Rheinhard,

I happen to be obsessed with Fraktur. Before I learned of this lil’ dispute, I thought that it was simply how it made the letter ‘A’ look like a ‘U’, etc. Now I know my obsession is merely a matter of my religious persuasion.

😉

 
 

Azerbaijan is barely Asian.

Micronesia’s gotta be barely Asian. I mean, it’s MICRO for cryin’ out loud.

 
 

I wonder what kind of font I talk in when I do my spanish accent?

 
 

Barely Latin.

 
 

Godwin’s Law isn’t what most of us think. I guess we should be looking at how fast a Nazi reference/comparison comes up in a discussion. Not as much Godwin’s Law but Godwin Time: The time it takes from a discussion’s inception to the invocation of a Nazi reference/comparison.

In this case, it can be measured as the second frame…one, maybe two seconds. Muir comes in second to P-Load’s Liberal Fascism, where the title reaches Godwin Time in a few hundred milliseconds (I read slowly.)

 
 

patrick,
That’s what the finger under the nose is for. If I thought he was smart enough to be making a cultural reference, I’d give him props for a Fawlty Towers hat tip. Unfortunately, he’s far too fucking stupid and humorless to go there, so this is obviously just third grade coming back to roost, much like the rest of the strip.

 
 

I kinda dig the Ilsa, She-Wolf of teh SS look…

 
 

Awright, where’d my link go? Curse the preview for it was there!

Anyway, it was the link to the Wiki on Godwin’s Law.

 
 

This Mr. Muir is ill.

 
 

On Feb 21, 2008, at 2:31 PM, Righteous Bubba wrote:
> Someone I know thinks you were drunk when you wrote that. I think
> you were stone-cold sober and being honest. Can you settle a bet?

Chris Muir to me
show details 11:56 AM (3 hours ago)

Stone cold.

 
 

God I do stupid things.

 
 

I could have done w/o the tube sock bit. But otherwise, top shelf stuff.

 
 

Ok, jamhammer is officially my favorite new word. I’m going to try to slip it into every conversation I have tomorrow.

 
 

Words are cool.

Words words words words…

 
 

Dammit, Bubba, wish it had at least OCCURRED to me to ask the fuckerwad if he was drunk.

Once again, I stand in awe…

mikey

 
 

And I still would like someone to explain to me how working = Nazi. Is he advocating welfare instead? Scandalous!

“Arbeit macht Freiper?”

 
 

Chris Muir looks like a real catch, eh gals?

That’s really Muir? I thought it was a file photo of Charles Manson before the bad facial art.

 
 

i’m confused: “Make Godwin’s law”?

does he not mean “break”?

or, is he implying that she’s so stupid, (his female character) that she doesn’t realize she’s malapropping? in which case, is he secretly making fun of her stupid obama speech and is in fact…

no, fuck it, no way.

 
 

So she’s got the brown shirt, the hat, and the swastika armband, but no Hitler prop-`stache? C’mon Muir, who are you fucking kidding?

That’s what I thought too. Also, is he saying these characters have a collection of Nazi memorabilia lying around (including the flag already hanging on the wall)? Ummm, wouldn’t that show his characters to be more Nazi-like than Michelle Obama ever was/will be?

 
 

Hm,

Hoosier X said,

February 21, 2008 at 21:45

Randroids should not be allowed to do humor.

AND WHO CLAIMS THAT MUIR DID ANY HUMOR?

 
Michael Harrington
 

Notorious P.A.T.: Chris Muir makes me think of a sad single guy sitting in his mom’s basement wishing he had a slutty-looking wife and black friends.

Exactly.

Susan of Texas’ link was interesting. “Kantian nihilism”, indeed. Muir reminds me of Otto from A Fish Called Wanda, thinking Aristotle was Belgian.

 
 

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