Without a doubt, Scooter Libby will get one. Ditto for the crackhead niece.

He’s going to preemptively pardon the entire administration. Not that he needs to since the congress will never actually file any charges.

I would love it if Clemons got a pardon, it would simply magnify my already significant hatred for the asshole.

I think W will pardon about half the administration for torture-gate and US attorney-gate. Can the dickhead pardon Bolton and Miers for their contempt? If so, include that in there as well.

And maybe Kenny-boy Lay, too.

And maybe Kenny-boy Lay, too.

Kenny-boy died. Of course, this is central to your point.

J-Rock Skilling is a definite fair game though.

I’d love it if he just preemptively pardoned his entire list of campaign “pioneers.”

Jack Abramoff comes to mind.

In any event, Clemens successfully sealed his reputation as a world class scumbag with his testimony yesterday. I can see the GOP embracing him with pleasure. He took every opportunity to hide behind patriotism and his mother whenever possible. I’m sure he would have wrapped himself in the flag if there was one close enough to him.

There are enough rubes who were impressed by his performance.

The fact is, go to hell in a handbasket!

I can see the GOP embracing him with pleasure.

They DID embrace him with pleasure! Didn’t you notice they were the ones carrying his water for the whole hearing???

Can Bush pardon Clemens if he gets, say, banned from baseball?

Can Bush pardon Clemens if he gets, say, banned from baseball?

I believe he gave himself that right in one of his signing statements. Pete Rose, I hope you ponied up back in ’04!

go to hell in a handbasket!
This is definitely my favourite ride at DanteWorld.

“They DID embrace him with pleasure! Didn’t you notice they were the ones carrying his water for the whole hearing???”

Yes. I meant the GOP as an institution: speaking engagements, the convention, etc.

The fact is, go to hell in a handbasket!

I went, and I gotta say their jalapeño poppers were underwhelming at best.

As a right-wing troll, you’re okay. As a Zagat’s guide… not so much.

Bush is going to pardon someone in 11 months, even though that person hasn’t even been charged yet, and there’s no indication that the person will be charged imminently?

Someone has a lot of faith in the speed of the legal system.

Can a president pardon himself as he leaves office? (Not that I’m ever expecting anyone to investigate let alone charge the decider).

Everyone rich, male and white will get an infinite get-out-of-free card, free of charge. And a complimentary blowjob from a prostitute with a mouthful of honey. And everyone else in the country will get kicked in the nuts or equivalent, simply on general principles.

You don’t need to be convicted of a crime to receive a pardon. See Nixon, Weinberger, et al.

The best part of the Republicans’ performance yesterday was listening afterwards to the reaction of the two wingnut dickheads who have the most popular sports radio show in NY. The words “travesty’, “disgrace”, “outrage” were thrown around liberally and I’m hoping that the Clemens hearing was a similarly eye opening experience for like minded dumbasses around the country. Ahh, who the fuck am I trying to kid?

Timothy McVeigh

-jail-

yeah I think the rethugs seriously damaged themselves with the ESPN crowd yesterday. And I have to say the pardon thing makes absolute sense. Clemen’s testimony was so unbelievable and so full of holes the only way it made any sense is that he knew he wouldn’t be prosecuted for it. Wouldn’t it some kind of abuse of the presidential pardon to tell someone they’ll be pardoned before they commit the crime? Isn’t that aiding and abetting?

Clemen’s testimony was so unbelievable and so full of holes…

…thus making him the perfect Bush pardon candidate.

Brad said,

February 14, 2008 at 23:32

And maybe Kenny-boy Lay, too.

Kenny-boy died. Of course, this is central to your point.

I still think that Ken faked his death and is now living it up in Paraguay or Dubai, or one of those other neo-con hideaways.

I’m lookin’ for Bush to go all in for one of his dad’s old employees.

Clemen’s testimony was so unbelievable and so full of holes the only way it made any sense is that he knew he wouldn’t be prosecuted for it.

It’s easier to think that it didn’t make sense and Clemens is a dumbass. Clemens gets no pardon because he has no oil.

Well, in that case, why bother with the telecom immunity thing at all? bush can just pre-emptively pardon all the telecoms.

Bernie Ebbers gets one, I think. Maybe Lyndie England as well.

Says the attorney representing a known liar, drug dealer, and rapist.

Uh-oh! I think we’ve got a Clemens Truther!

So much for separation of, and equality of, the branches of Government. Why bother having a judicial branch at all if a president can hand out pardons as party favours?

Oh yeah.. To make sure the “little people” obey the law. Or else.

I’m also putting money on a pardon for the former CEO of Searle.

Maybe Lyndie England as well.
Nah man, pardons are not for plebes. She will rot.

Can Bush pardon Clemens if he gets, say, banned from baseball?

Can Bush pardon Clemens if he gets, say, Impeached and indicted?

What? I can dream, right?

Uh-oh! I think we’ve got a Clemens Truther!

I heard a pretty funny radio interview with some guy who stands foursquare behind everyone who denies taking steroids in baseball. I couldn’t quite figure out why and I guess neither could he, but bless him for his cheery optimism.

Uh-oh! I think we’ve got a Clemens Truther!

No, I don’t really care either way. They could all be juicing for all I care, and I’m a big baseball fan. I just think McNamee’s a piece of shit. Clemens may be a dick, but to my knowledge, he never drugged and raped someone.

I just think McNamee’s a piece of shit.

He seems to be, but he’s also a piece of shit who’s named other juicers who’ve owned up to what they’ve done.

I think he’ll pardon Jonah Goldberg for raping and murdering logic, history and the English language. Wait, W. himself was in on those …

no pardon for Bellichek?

The only people Bush will pardon will be the ones that can directly link him to other crimes. So I think only his immediate staff and family will get the nod.

Otherwise, he’d get writer’s cramp, and you know how little our boy likes to work.

Why can’t Bush Jr. just write one 5 or 6 word sentence which pardons everybody he wants?

PARDUNZ FOR GUYS I LIKE AND GUYS THAT GET ME IN TRUBBEL.

TOO LONG

I’d love it if he just preemptively pardoned his entire list of campaign “pioneers.”

What’s the Oregon Trail got to do with any of dis?

“Plz pardon all ma doodz.”

It is going to be all about covering his own arse.. And letting people he owes favours to off the hook.

Life ain’t going to be good for Shrub after november. Nobody is going to be paying him huge sums for after dinner speaking engagements. Because nobody likes him.. And because he can’t actually give a speech.

He is going to have to rely on corporate cronyism and a larger scale of “wingnut welfare” to keep himself in the manner to which he has grown accustomed. Thus, expect anyone involved in Blackwater, Haliburton, etc, to be given a get out of jail free card.

SINING STATMENT: JUST KIDDING HA HA

He will found the George W. Bush Institute for Good Govermit [sic], and appoint Jonah Goldsphincter as Preznital Historiguy.

Conrad Black.

g said: Well, in that case, why bother with the telecom immunity thing at all? bush can just pre-emptively pardon all the telecoms.

Because he wanted the thrill of watching the Democrats to do it for him.

BUUUURP PARDON ME HAHA

Can a president pardon himself as he leaves office?

I half expect Bush to pre-emptively pardon Cheney on Jan 18 and step down. Cheneys becomes Pres-for-a-day on the 19th and pardons Bush.

Any bets?

The fact is, liberals will do anything that makes our country look bad or open to attack, because they hate it so much. They want the UN to run things and take patriot guns away and make us tolerate shania law. This day of obstruction will live in infamy, when the enemy sees our weakness and attacks it will be YOUR fault that you voted NOT to protect USA, YOUR FAULT.

I beg your pardon.

The fact is, Clinton did many evil things and was given a pass by the liberal media. Bush has been awesome for USA and gets made fun of. This is biased.

Don’t need to do the Cheney two-step, Dorothy. The president can pardon anyone, including himself, for any crimes, even undiscovered ones, committed. No legal barrier whatsoever do doing that.

Bush could even pardon Gary for being a putz.

and make us tolerate shania law

Shania Law? Under Shania Law, women must all wear men’s shirts and short skirts. Really go wild, and do it in style. Get in the action, feel the attraction. Color their hair, and do what they dare. But most importantly, they will be required to feel like women. Hmm, doesn’t sound all that bad.

And yes, I had to look those lyrics up.

Did you call me, Gary?

I think Bush will pardon John McCain for having an illegitimate black child.

Bush has been awesome for USA and gets made fun of.

Clearly a fake Gary. I mean, c’mon. The fanboy speak is really quite unseemly for a carrier of the GOP Talking Points.

A little more gravitas is required here, youngster.

I mean, the Rs are the “Serious Party”.

Right?

mikey

I just got a robocall from the McCain campaign asking me who I’m voting for in the Republican primary and what my main issues are. I pressed 3 for Mike Huckabee, and 6 for ‘other’ because their list of issues was really stupid. I was waiting for ‘health care’ to pop up, but it wasn’t there.

Johnny Mac doesn’t even have real live volunteers to lie to. I had to lie to a stupid computer voice. Lame-o.

I beg your pardon
I never promised you a rose garden

(hic)

I just got a robocall from the McCain campaign

We got a couple of incredibly annoying robo push polls from Huckabee supporters before the Iowa caucuses. Any of you out there had any of those?

In Huckabee’s defense (you have no idea how much it pains me to say that) he claimed that those polls were nothing to do with his actual campaign and he begged the push pollers, publicly at least, to stop. Distrustful cynic that I am, I suspect one of two things: Either the push polls were done by Romney’s campaign to make Huckabilly look bad, or Huckabee secretly supported them and only issued a public disclaimer so he’d look oh-so-ethical and above-it-all.

Bush pardoning himself would have no effect on the Hague…

If you can get it to load, check out debbieclemens.com.

Roger came to me one day and told me that we had been asked to do a photo shoot for Sports Illustrated. I had major anxiety! I was a 39-year-old mother of 4! Once I realized that this WAS going to be a reality, I decided I had to give it everything I had. My mind was set. I am not a risk taker, but have since learned that with great risk, sometimes comes great reward. The responses from that experience have been wonderful and I feel it was a turning point in my life. It’s nice to have a goal for yourself and to see it through. The goal kept me motivated and focused. Using common sense and my ability to balance my life, I achieved that goal.

And a little bit of HGH didn’t hurt!

They call it due process and some people are overdue
We beg your pardon America
Somebody said “brother-man gonna break a window, gonna steal a hubcap, gonna smoke a joint, brother man gonna go to jail”
The man who tried to steal America is not in jail
“Get caught with a nickel bag brother-man, get caught with a nickel bag”, says the lady on your way to get your hair fixed
“You’ll do Big Ben, and Big Ben is time”
But the man who tried to fix America will not do time

Said they’re going to slap his wrists, gonna retire him with 850 thousand dollars
And America was “shocked”
America leads the world in shocks
Unfortunately, America does not lead the world in deciphering the cause of shock
850 thousand dollars they said and the people protested and so they saw it like “we’ll give him 200 thousand dollars”
Everybody said “OK, that’s better”

I’d like to retire with 200 thousand dollars some day
San Quentin not San Clemente
Do not pass go, go directly to jail, do not collect 200 thousand dollars
…
But there was no crime committed
Oatmeal Man says that “America, in 1975 your president will be a 1913 Ford”
Regressive
Circle up the wagons to defend yourself from nuclear attack
Oatmeal Man, reminiscent of 1964’s AuH2O, Gold Water
Thank god he didn’t win, but Oatmeal man didn’t win
Did you vote for him? I didn’t vote for him

But that’s the first results, and the second would be the Dred Rockefeller
Doubtlessly being promoted for the job he did at Attica, 43 dead and millions of Americans once again in shock
Doubtlessly being promoted for the job he did on the streets of New York city where the pushers sell the drugs that the government allows in the country, and then they do time
They do life, and death or life, and death behind bars, while William Saxbe says he is going to dismiss the Lorton Furlough program
And brother Richard X of Buffalo New York faces 13 hundred and 65 years – did he say one thousand three hundred and sixty five years? – behind bars for participating in Attica
And Rockefeller faces being the Vice President of this country
And all is calm and quiet along the white sands at San Clemente

– Gil Scott Heron

Oh yeah – Can we place odds on the worst odds to be pardoned as well as the best?

Best: Skinner
Worst: Mumia, Peltier

Skinner Skilling

Oops

THEY CAN ALL HAS PARDUNZ, KTHXBAI

I just hope that the Chimpenführer remembers to pardon our Doughy Pantload, for commiting the crimes of writing and publishing Liberal Fascism.

Though the fact is, jail is the only place he is likely to get any action.

Perfect for syringes!

Cheney, Gonzales, Mukasey, Rummy, Powell, Rice, Scalia (just cuz) McConnell, Petraus, Wolfowitz, Feith, Libby, everyone in DOJ, all the Halliburton folks, those Blackwater scumbags… ahhhh fuckit…. everyone he’s ever known. And Kenny Boy, who will miraculously arise from the “dead.”

and make us tolerate shania law

Shania Law? Under Shania Law, women must all wear men’s shirts and short skirts. Really go wild, and do it in style. Get in the action, feel the attraction. Color their hair, and do what they dare. But most importantly, they will be required to feel like women. Hmm, doesn’t sound all that bad.

I’m afraid that Twain has already left the station.

Shanana Law?

Xanana Gusmao?

I hate it when you guys beat me to it.

Kenny doesn’t need to arise from the dead. The whiner-in-chief will pardon him posthumously to spare his fambly the totally unjustified shame of it all.

About Lay – as I understand it (and I am not looking this up before typing, so if I get it wrong, Blow me), he died while his case was being actively appealed, which somehow negated his conviction.

In other words, he doesn’t need a pardon. In the eyes of the law, he is innocent.

Ain’t that a peach.

In other words, he doesn’t need a pardon. In the eyes of the law, he is innocent.

The fact is, this fact makes liberal class warfare nuts go crazy.

The fact is, I’m going to hell in a handbasket!

Fixed Gary’s effrontery.

I still think that Ken faked his death and is now living it up in Paraguay or Dubai, or one of those other neo-con hideaways.

Blue Buddha: You’re not alone. Kenny-Boy made it into “The Beast”‘s Top 10 Most Loathesome People of 2006. Here’s their assessment (I copied and pasted it all because it’s that good). I think you might like it.

9. Ken Lay

Sentence: Drinking a martini in his bathrobe and reading the Wall Street Journal at his secret compound in the South Pacific, the “late” Mr. Lay starts choking on an olive when the 400th major daily article to describe his life as “Shakespearean” makes him laugh out loud. Lay falls out of his chair, impaling an eyeball with the stem of his glass and catching his penis in a $900 toaster. The electrical current triggers the long-dormant prefrontal cortex of his now-smoldering brain, suddenly activating Lay’s conscience. As he is slowly and painfully electrocuted over several minutes, Lay experiences a lifetime of guilt and remorse. Then he catches fire.

Oopsie! That was me, not my dear friend Mr. Pupkin.

Anti Cuban terrorist & airline bomber Luis Posada?

Oh, wait..

why do I suddenly feel like I’m in the Dom Deluise scene in Blazing Saddles? Things must be getting out of hand on the last thread…

never mind. I’m lost….

(and I am not looking this up before typing, so if I get it wrong, Blow me)

I am pleased that you are correct as I am out of mouthwash.

I’m pullin’ for a second pardon for Elliot Abrams. That would make him the Barry Bonds of pardons.

Kenny [Lay] doesn’t need to arise from the dead. The whiner-in-chief will pardon him posthumously to spare his fambly the totally unjustified shame of it all.
He doesn’t need to. Since Lay had an appeal pending when he died, the original conviction was vacated.

Can Bush pardon himself? I don’t think so, not explicitly at least. But that’s to ignore all the incredibly convoluted “parsing” that has gone on in the past 7+ years.

So, for example, suppose that Bush issues a pardon for a “Mr. W.A.R. Preznit”, just moments before his super-secret Change Of Name petition is granted by Justice Toady of the DC Federal Court. Ka-ching!

Backdating optional, and both the pardon and the Name Change can be kept secret “until needed”.

Oh, you can scoff “that’s ridiculous!”, but how often have the GOPsters risen in defence of ridiculosity, creating a “Wall of Shit” to overcome all objections?

Richard Nixon, but only because Bush forgot he was pardoned already.

Listen, if Clinton could pardon Marc Rich, and Bush defended that pardon, there’s no telling…Charles Manson, maybe?

Can the president pardon himself from international war crimes?

Because my one hope is to someday see that ignorant cocksucker frog-marched to the fucking Hague.

So, for example, suppose that Bush issues a pardon for a “Mr. W.A.R. Preznit”, just moments before his super-secret Change Of Name petition is granted by Justice Toady of the DC Federal Court. Ka-ching!

This reminded me of one of my favorite check fraud stories. An employee of Tension Envelope Corp. in Framingham, MA got a fake i.d. and opened an account for “Tensio N. Envelope”. She successfully cashed tons of accounts receivable checks before getting caught.

The last name was pronounced “ahn’-vay-loe-pay”!