Just Asking
Years of watching Law and Order reruns have finally paid off for Don Surber, who uses the legal acumen garnered in front of his Sylvania 13″ Black and White TV to summarily dispatch a churlish commenter who suggested that Surber might have committed libel when he accused Maria Cantwell of plagiarism:
mjfgates Says:
February 13th, 2008 at 2:59 amYour link to the AP story is broken; you used their “Breaking News” link, which probably changes every half-hour.
In any case, accusing people of plagiarism when there’s no real evidence that they haven’t DONE that isn’t so much “irony,” as “libel.”
Reply: Asking a question is not libel. Sorry about the link.
In that case, Mr. Surber, is it true that you lure children into your trailer for Moon Pies, show them pornographic pictures of yourself performing fellatio on donkeys and mules and then engage in sexual intercourse with those children? And is it true, Mr. Surber, that you are wanted in twenty-five states for identity theft, wire fraud, racketeering and the distribution of methamphetamine? Just asking questions, of course.
Cute dog, though.
Oh, nice. This is the one where he accuses someone of plagiarism because she decides to METNION THE SAME SUBJECT as a cartoon.
Mjfgates needs to watch that double negative. The subordinate clause “there’s no real evidence that they haven’t DONE that” really should read “have done that.” He falls into the patented pro wrestling move The Surberplex where your opponent grosses you out by happening to be of the same species as you.
** If that isn’t a subordinate clause, sorry.
You must not have gone to Law School(tm). The way you pose the cross examination is in the negative past imperfect so that you can confuse the hell out of the witness and the jury.
question: ‘Is it not true that you no longer blow goats”?;
answer: “No! Yes! I don’t know! Aaaaargh!”
Ah, I was wondering when the goat-blowing questions would arrive… unfortunately, Xenos beat me to it.
However, I hope I will be the first to note the FACT that Mr. Surber DOES NOT DENY that he blows goats.
I am very speedy when it comes to blowing goats.
Wait, strike that…
Xenos,
Are you saying that you, in fact, prefer to take your time when you blow goats?
What is he DOING to that poor dog?
And why is it that you can’t keep your junk out of truck tailpipes, Mr. Surber?
It might not be legally “libel,” but he wasn’t so insistent on actual word meaning when he asserted his accusation was “irony”.
It’s amazing how much stoopid the Surbhuman can pack into these tiny nuggets of thought. He blows Glenn Reynolds to smithereens in this regard. Just to use a made-up example:
News item: Obama gives speech, saying that he wasn’t ever for the war, and that HRC at one point was.
Instapundit’s take: Indeed. (Links to Special Ed, who says Obama smeared the troops.)
Now, that’s pretty dumb. But then Surber will come along and respond as follows:
News item: Obama gives speech, saying that he wasn’t ever for the war, and that HRC at one point was.
Surber’s take: Well, that doesn’t make sense, as Obama wasn’t President.
The man is Just. That. Bad.
Is is not true that Don Surber is a closeted self-asphyxiating triple-wet-suit double-dong enthusiast?
And if so, is it not true that he steals money from his church to finance his trips to Tahiland for highly illicit sex with children?
If not, how can he not escape from the fact that he wanks off to transvestite bestiality porn?
I am not accusing, merely asking questions.
transvestite bestiality porn?
Umm, just what exactly are you suggesting the cross-dressing goat was wearing?
And how would we actually KNOW it was cross dressing?
mikey
He insisted on calling me “nanny”. I felt dirty afterwards. I think I need counselling.
Plus, I took <a href=”http://www.chebucto.ns.ca/~af380/JamiesHooker.jpgphotos.
Damn, it’s hard to type with hooves.
photo
Curses!
photograph.
Anti-sheep-love bigots ate my link. Use the URL above or your imagination.
Kisses.
I’d hit it.
He’s definitely wanted for Journalistic Fraud.
Show off!
Oh, embraceable ewe!
Hey! MacLeod! Get off of my ewe!
Surberville:
Population 1
Where the men are men, and the sheep are scared.
But that is a mighty fine looking sheep. Is that garter on sideways?
Hawt.
I think I found the cartoon. http://www.gocomics.com/pricklycity/2008/01/28/ It may require a click through. No reference to Susan Butcher only the Iditarod. Plagarism is taking someone’s original idea and passing it off as your own, so no on that account. Libel is a defamatory statement. Doesn’t matter if it’s posed in the form of an interrogatory. And then there’s the “Update” where Don is still trying to figure out what that darn cartoon actually meant. Ignorance is supposed to bliss, but it’s confusing the hell out of Don Surber.
I presume the wine of choice at Chez Surber would be found here:
http://www.bullyhill.com/wines/
Oops, wrong page. Love my goat red is there somewhere.
Naaaaaaaa…naaaaaaaaa…Those goats are mine! Just baaaaack away slowly, Surber, and you won’t get hurt.
Surber and Kaus in a Butter Battle?
The way you pose the cross examination is in the negative past imperfect so that you can confuse the hell out of the witness and the jury.
question: ‘Is it not true that you no longer blow goats”?
I believe you mean the negative question structure, maybe combined with past perfect progressive, passive voice?
“Isn’t it true that the goat had been being blown by you for several minutes when these photos were taken? YES or NO?”
I don’t really know who this Surber guy is, but I just love his fucking head! Look at that thing! I need to look into this d00d.
And how would we actually KNOW it was cross dressing?
It was dressed as a sheep.
You’re fine here Clif. Truth is an absolute defense.
Surber wuld also have to prove actual damages tohis reputation. given the idiocy of what he writes it would probably be easy to prove that if people thought he blew goats his reputation actually improved: “Well, I always thought he was hopeless but I guess he’s smart enough to chase down a barnyard animal. Gotta give him credit for that.”
(snooooort!)
Wazzah?
Would you like some nose candy little boy?
OK, dammit, that picture is Bill from Possum Lodge: http://www.redgreen.com/files/layout/bill.jpg
this is the best link ever
http://blogs.dailymail.com/donsurber/whats-a-surber/
(follow that link)
it really brings up so many questions. is he a bottom, or just a bottom sampler? (and what is a bottom sampler?)
does he have a backbone?
and so much fun if taken out of context
“…large enough to insert your entire hand”