Another Surberficial Wound


ABOVE: Don Surber at home.

It’s been a while since we visited Don Surber, the Poe of the Pocatalico and the Keats of the Kanawha, and, as usual, Surber never fails to disappoint. Today Surber focuses his keen journalistic eye on some shocking plagiarism committed by Senator Maria Cantwell (D – Washington) when she introduced Hillary to a political rally as a “pioneer woman” instead of as the shrill socialist robo-lesbo that Hillary actually is:

Did Sen. Cantwell plagiarize a comic strip to praise Hillary? …

From Calvin Woodward of the Associated Press:

Sen. Maria Cantwell, one of them, introduced the New York senator to a crowd in Spokane and likened her to four-time Iditarod winner Susan Butcher and the Native American woman Sacajawea, who served as a guide for the Lewis and Clark expedition in the early 1800s. “We like women pioneers here in the Northwest,” Cantwell said. …

Now for the comic strip in question.

Maybe she didn’t see the comic strip, which appears in the Washington Post.

Cantwell likens Hillary to a female Iditarod winner and then Surber cries plagiarism after he uncovers an obscure wingnut cartoon strip that depicts Hillary talking about the Iditarod. The only explanation for this kind of stupidity is that someone suctioned out what once passed for Surber’s brain from his skull and replaced it with a slurry of pulverized pork rinds and Mountain Dew.


Comments: 31


It’s truly appalling what passes for Conservative thought these days…


I’m still trying to figure out that comic that he linked to.

Did Hillary actually say anything like that? What does it even mean? And how would comparing yourself to a sled driver be playing the “dog card”? What the fuck is a dog card?

The mind reels and staggers on the very brink of insanity

Oh, wait. Is that just a fancy way of saying Hillary is a bitch? I always wondered who Mallard Filmore beat out for the conservative slot in the funny papers. That’s some fucked up affirmative action right there.


I’m still pulling for Obama, but I gotta say, November could be very interesting. With all the Hillary haters voting McCain, and all the McCain haters voting Hillary, I’m pretty sure the polls are going to represent a new standard for cluelessness.

And the portion of the voting constituency predisposed to the dogwhistle words? Man, everybody from Hannity to Tweety to Rush to Bobo are going to have a field day. Except they’ll be playing in a petri dish with unknown, unexpected and uncontrollable consequences…



The Kanawha value is infamous for its chemical, munitions, and ordnance plants. I believe it was a decade or two ago that it was dubbed “Cancer Valley” due to all air pollution and the water quality of the Kanawha river. My guess is that Surber lives a little too close to the emissions stacks of one of those plants or perhaps he likes to fry fish from the Kanawha? Makes me ashamed to be a Mountaineer….


That should’ve been “Kanawha VALLEY”. See, even though I left WV years ago I too have brain malfunctions due to the pollution….


Ok, I think I’ve figured this out…in the Iditarod, they mush, and Surber’s head is filled with mush, and….

…nope, it’s still a pile of clueless, meaningless bullshit.


And, BTW, I’m pretty sure the words “Conservative” and “thought” do not belong in the same sentence.


I, too, am confused by the comic. Is it funny? I am even further confused by Surber’s comment on it. Cantwell then uses this comic to praise Hillary by playing some kind of ‘dog card?’

Perhaps there’s a troll around who can decipher for us the wingnut enigma code employed here.


Yeah,keep digging through that pile of shit Surber,you’ll get to the pony someday.

So the word “pioneer”doesn’t mean someone paving the way for others or being first anymore? Or it’s trademarked?

It can’t mean Bush Pioneer,so I don’t get it. I guess this would be a sign that my cookies aren’t cumbled and all the fries in my Happy Meal can be accounted for.

Smiling Mortician

The only explanation for this kind of stupidity is that someone suctioned out what once passed for Surber’s brain from his skull and replaced it with a slurry of pulverized pork rinds and Mountain Dew.

That’s known as an upgrade.

In other tangentially related news, I’ve had six (count ’em, six) robocalls from the McCainites in the past 24 hours. I wish I could get any satisfaction from hanging up on a recording. I’ve also had three from the Clinton camp (but at least each message was HRC herself and she said something different in each one — and decidedly different from what she’s saying on the national stage — guess she figured that here in WA, she’s safe in saying that ending the war is her first priority). No calls from Huckles and — this surprised me — none from Obama’s people. What’s up with that? ‘Course, he addressed 17,000 in Key Arena yesterday and turned away several thousand more while McCain barely filled a hotel ballroom . . .

‘K, I’ll stop my caucus-day rambling now.


I, too, am confused by the comic. Is it funny?

Prickly Shitty has never been funny, and its art makes Cathy Guisewhite look like Bill Watterson.


Prickly City is worse than you think.

The guy who does Prickly City makes a big deal out of the “fact” that he makes fun of both sides, with a liberal character and a conservative character and that it is, in fact, a balanced strip.

The coyote – yes, the thing depicted in that particular comic is a coyote -is the liberal character.

I shit you not.


I don’t get that fucking comic either. You sure it’s not ghostwritten by Bobo?


The Iditarod begins March 1, so clearly the only explanation for why Senator Cantwell had it in mind must be her having seen it mentioned in a comic strip.

Don’t miss Surber’s hat tip: Jonah’s mom.


Apparently the cartoon is a reference to Hitlery’s apocryphal MLK<LBJ comments. So then dog card = race card? Yesh!


I personally like my junior Senator a lot, but I wouldn’t put it past her to plagiarize a speech. This, though, is patently absurd. I wasn’t aware that you could claim plagiarism by stating that one word–OK, two words – Iditirod and Cliton–in a speech are the same as some random cartoon. Are we all plagiarizing the Gutenberg Bible as we type?


And, BTW, I’m pretty sure the words “Conservative” and “thought” do not belong in the same sentence.

Only in very specific circumstances. Eg: “I thought he was a conservative, but he’s really quite intelligent.”


Love that “leader of the pack” line at the end. And, hey, it’s true, which counts, I guess, for something.


Well, even IF Maria Cantwell got the idea from reading an obscure and lame comic in a newspaper Surber apparently thinks that its plagiarism when someone hears someone else bring up a subject and thinks -“Hey, that gave me an idea!”

Cause, of course, where else would Cantwell, a Pacific Northwesterner, have ever heard of the Iditarod if not from a conservative comic strip?


One gets the idea Don doesn’t run these story ideas by anyone before he publishes.

That, or Don is surrounded by people who really really hate him…



My Eyes!


“Now for the comic strip in question.”

I call False Advertising! That, sir, is NOT a COMIC strip.

“Comic” means “funny, amusing, entertaining,” and that strip is none of those.



Okay, the apparent answer is as follows:

UPDATE: I can see where perhaps people are taking this a little more serious than I meant. The plagiarism thing was a dig at Joe Biden. I should have just played it straight: A cartoon made fun of Hill on Jan. 28 by using the Iditarod. Cantwell used the Iditarod as praise on Feb. 9.

An homage to Joe Biden’s plagiarism of Neil Kinnock in 1987? Christ, why not make a more current reference, like Al Gore dancing the Macarena at the 96 convention?


That update is more generous than the boldface replies Surber inserted in his readers’ comments.


J, it’s funny how how big a disconnect there is. Although going back now, there are fewer (or at least different) comments. Perhaps Surber deleted some of them?


Oh, damn. I guess I should’ve copied and pasted those replies here. When I went there last night after seeing your update on the update, there were two like that. Now only one of them remains. The other was very condescending and funny.

Debbie Schlussel uses all caps for her editorial notes inserted into readers’ comments; Surber uses boldface. Suitable, both.


From Serber’s comments

Wilson Says:

I’m a little confused here. Are you saying that a Clinton supporter is stealing ideas for her pro-Clinton speeches from anti-Clinton comics?

That she would have read the comic seems a stretch. That she would read an obvious mockery of Clinton’s behavior and be inspired to crib from it to praise Clinton doesn’t even make sense.

Reply: Of course you’re confused. You have no grasp of irony.

(Insert witty comment here) You know, the stupid is so strong with Don I just… have nothing to say….


Just dropping in to a thread no one’s on anymore to say that Susan Butcher is a personal hero, and it’s very cool that she’s getting even backhanded publicity.

Also, Don Surber is an idiot.


Don Surber seems to not know the meaning of the word plagarism even though he practices it.


Did you see the comment on Surber’s post where an anti-Iditarod activist complains about an affliction called “penile frostbite?”


I’m surprised Mickey Kaus hasn’t picked up on this.


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