You’re fucking serious.
Oh bejeezusmothermaryandjoseph. Jonah’s reader letters are getting stupider by the day:
The Democratic Party has been identity-driven for most of its existence. Ask a Democrat about his and he will tell you who it stands for—women, minorities, the poor—in old times, it was “the common man” or “the working man” or “the little guy.” Ask a Republican and he will usually tell you what the party stands for.
This doesn’t mean that Democrats don’t have ideas or Republicans don’t have constituencies, but notice this—when Democrats speak ideologically they have to link it to identities. So, tax increases or expansion of government programs are justified because such things help women, minorities, and the poor. Conversely, Republicans feel the need to justify any constituency service in ideological terms—eg. we’re not fighting for these tax breaks for investors to help the investors themselves, but because the cumulative effect of lower taxes will stimulate the economy to the benefit of all.
Not anything I can really add to this. Giving tax cuts tp the super-wealthy is now the highest form of altruism, because… ?????????????????? … Damned if I know!
Kill me.
Oh! Oh! Because they lie about it? That’s the only sense I can make of it.
And one might add to that is that the reason the GOP bathes their policies in these theoretical ideological frameworks, rather than explaining them in the practical language of how they are intended to help – is that they are not intended to help. Period full stop.
I am currently reading The Wealth of Nations and I frequently wonder if any living conservative (aside from P.J. O’Rourke) has actually read it.
That’s what cracks me up about “Trickle Down Economics”. It’s the same exact theory as Communism, except you give all the money to a different group of motherfuckers. Think about it:
Communism: Everyone gives their money to the government, where it is trusted that they will do The Right Thing and redistribute it fairly amongst the population.
Trickle Down Economics: Everyone gives their money to the wealthy, where it is trusted that they will do The Right Thing and redistribute it fairly amongst the population.
This also proves that tax cuts are just more liberal fascism, and it’s central to my point. I win… forever plus infinity plus one!! No take backs! Neener, neener, neener!
Hoosier X-
I had the same impression when I read (and in some parts skimmed) it a few years ago. He is refreshingly utilitarian, isn’t he?
Almost like an 18th century Amartya Sen.
Blue Buddha is right. Under both systems, we are equally entitled to hope that Steve Forbes or Stalin need somebody to help paint their yachts. But he is incorrect in that it is no tag backs, not take backs.
Here, let me diagram this out for you.
Problem: Easing Poverty
Solution:
Give tax cuts to wealthiest 1% of population.
Mechanism:
Rich get vastly richer.
??????????
Poverty eliminated!
?????????? = poor die.
Blue Buddah reads my mind.
American conservatism is a tribute to Revolutionary Marxism.
It’s just the command group is different, that’s all.
Certainly in the knowing-how-to-hate-others-who-are-not-us category, the mirror image is spooky.
If you open Laura Ingraham’s scull cap instead of a brain you find worms.
True story.
The Goldberg/”reader” cycle is a closed loop that every day spirals more tightly into itself.
Soon someone will write in to praise this column and explain that, now that Goldberg has ripped the scales from his eyes, he sees that Roots was a fascist work of art. Goldberg will add that blaxploitation was fascist as well; Black Gestapo, case closed!
Then someone else will send in another Letters-to-Penthouse-Corner story that’s even crazier. And so on.
Soon it’ll all be emoticons and hobo code.
Hoosier X said, February 8, 2008 at 21:31
I am currently reading The Wealth of Nations and I frequently wonder if any living conservative (aside from P.J. O’Rourke) has actually read it.
No the don’t. Cause if they did they would walk around with a slightly unsettled feeling, like a man with a wedgie who doesn’t know it. They would be bothered by the implications. And don’t you dare ask them to read the theory of moral sentiments, then the fainting begins.
Idiot, delusional, Republican: Conversely, Republicans feel the need to justify any constituency service in ideological terms—
Front page headline today, variations abound: “McCain courts conservatives after Romney quits candidacy”
we’re not fighting for these tax breaks for investors to help the investors themselves, but because the cumulative effect of lower taxes will stimulate the economy to the benefit of all.
Giving extra money to the class that helped so many homeowners seems like a safe bet.
“Ask a Democrat about his and he will tell you who it stands for—women, minorities, the poor—in old times, it was ‘the common man’ or ‘the working man’ or ‘the little guy.'”
And not *what* it stands for? One can only conclude that the author hasn’t talked to many Democrats. Here are the first five that come to mind: justice, equal rights for all, anti-poverty, reproductive freedom, personal liberty.
There’s also this little thing called the “Four Freedoms” speech, but Jonah would never think of that, and his reader probably hasn’t ever heard of it.
What scares me is that there are a significant number of people out there who read this and think “Wow, that was dead on.” Argh.
The Four Freedoms aren’t free.
“…when Democrats speak ideologically they have to link it to identities.”
But if you are talking about politicians, the link is simply a tool to manipulate the minds of prospective followers. Politicians, for the most part, whether Democratic, or Republican are narcissistically-driven, so they are operating from a position of pseudo-identity.
Personally, I don’t believe in either taxing the hell of out people just because they are rich (the Robin Hood policy), or punishing people for being poor. Republicans and Democrats need a balanced policy that avoids either of these extremes.
You don’t have to justify a program by lying about what benefits there are if there are ACTUAL benefits.
Ask a Democrat about his and he will tell you who it stands for—women, minorities, the poor—in old times, it was ‘the common man’ or ‘the working man’ or ‘the little guy.
Am I just being paranoid here, or is this unintentionally revealing?
Wow. Jonah is turning into Janus; his every column contains both a statement and its opposite. For example:
“If substance were water, the Democratic campaign would be a desert.”
And then:
“Hillary’s a wonk, and Obama’s got enough policy papers to fill the library at Alexandria.”
“Both Obama and Hillary insist there are no major policy differences between them, except for the war and health care,” because of course the war and health care are utterly trivial.
“Obama and Hillary’s philosophies of government differ dramatically.”
And then:
“What Democratic voters actually believe doesn’t seem to be that relevant, in large part because Democrats aren’t voting their beliefs, they’re voting affections.”
I wonder if Jonah has ever bothered to listen to anything Obama said. Wow.
See, this email admits the truth, albeit unwittingly.
Conservatives are bound and wrapped up in advocating policies based purely on ideology – policies that repeatedly prove to be beneficial solely to themselves, even though they repeatedly claim, i.e. lie about the general effectiveness of the same policies of everyone. Non-conseravtives tend to advocate policies, that like tend to at least purport to affect PEOPLE in certain ways, and yes, often to the benefit of PEOPLE who tend to repeately be fucked over by the same ideological policies advocated by shit-stain conservatives.
In other words, non-conservative policy making tends to exist in the realm of undoing the evil conservatives repeatedly perpetrate in order to enrich themselves at the expense of everyone else.
Sheesh.
Personally, I don’t believe in either taxing the hell of out people just because they are rich (the Robin Hood policy),
Which hasn’t happened since the Eisenhower Administration.
or punishing people for being poor.
Which has happened in every administration since Reagan.
Republicans and Democrats need a balanced policy that avoids either of these extremes.
The Democrats do. It’s called “their platform” — the rich stay rich, the poor get a few more scraps and a little dignity. The Republicans don’t. It’s called “their platform” which boiled down to its essence is “I got mine. I want yours.”
BLAM!
Mission Accomplished.
Corrected.
To be honest, I have met too many Republicans who have a condescending attitude towards the poor and refuse to acknowledge certain differential opportunity structures that exist in our society.
On the other hand, I have met too many bleeding-heart Democrats, who believe, falsely, that looking down on the poor by considering them helpless, and developing policies that support this alternative condescending attitude, is a good way to bring them up.
So, the fact that mathematics tells us what their taxable income level is, and that mathematics can tell us based on the chosen rate of tax at a certain income level what they will pay, this somehow allows these pathetic right wing f***ers to make up some population subgroup known as “the rich”?
What next? An autobiography of the struggles of someone who grew us as an ethnic-Bentley-owner, a severely under-appreciated ethnic group in our country?
A film series on the strange customs and traditions of the differentially invested?
So, Republican/Conservative economic theory actually works something like this:
Economic and tax policies move capital from the demand side (that be us) to the supply side (that be them) so that it can be invested in production and job creation which benefits everyone. But, because there’s not enough money left on the demand side, demand declines. Declining demand means no incentive to invest in production/job creation (a really slow way to make a buck anyhow). So, instead, the supply-siders take their capital and go fuck around with it in the Big Casino (aka, the financial markets) hoping to make the quick buck. Then, when they lose large, they go crawling to the hateful gubmint to bail them out which means, effectively, sucking even more capital away from the demand side. Lather, rinse, repeat.
What could possibly go wrong?
Apparently some Liberal Fascist Dems think that plan is teh st00pid.
Dr BLT, King of Blog n Roll? said,
To be honest,
Why start now?
trilateral chairman wants to know if the pantload ever listened to Obama
I want to know if the doughy pantload ever listens to the utter crap that comes out of his own mouth
the Democrats have no substance, but Obama has a whole library of policy papers
paper is a substance, a very fiberous substance
and that doughy load at the back of your pants jonah, that is your non-fiberous substance
“developing policies that support this alternative condescending attitude”
AKA “helping the poor”.
Liberal bastards. How dare they?
“The modern conservative is engaged in one of man’s oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness”. John Kenneth Galbraith
“Conservatives define themselves in terms of what they oppose”. George F Will
“A conservative is a fellow who thinks a rich man should have a square deal”. Frank Dane
“The values to which the conservative appeals are inevitably caricatured by the individuals designated to put them into practice”. Harold Rosenberg
“What is conservatism? It is not adherence to the old and tried, but against the new and untried”? Abraham Lincoln
“When a nation’s young men are conservative, its funeral bell is already rung”. Henry Ward Beecher
“A conservative government is an organized hypocrisy”. Benjamin Disraeli
Some real “bleeding-heart Democrats,” who you really “met,” really believe this?
Or are you just assuming that the real “bleeding-heart Democrats,” who you really “met,” believe this because it’s been a non-stop mantra of the conservative traditional media for thirty years?
Conservatives have got to learn that conservatives saying something over and over again does not mean that that something is real.
Please elaborate.
This whole site is devoted to finding real conservative quotes and making fun of them.
When conservatives make fun of liberals, they do the same thing. They find something that a conservatives SAID about liberals and make fun of the straw-man-liberal position.
But you know that very well, it seems.
“It’s just the command group is different, that’s all.”
There’s the rub, innit? This is the only difference that matters to the Cons.
Ask a Con how their philosophy differs from that of the “islamofascists” (or “right-wing Islamists” as I like to call them) that they profess to hate so much. Homosexuality? Sympatico. Seperation of church and state? Eye to eye. Role of women in society? Pretty close. Torture and carnage? All in a good cause. Liberals? Don’t get me started.
All they’re left with is, “We want our guys to win!” Well, so do they. “Yeah, but these are OUR GUYS!”
“Or are you just assuming that the real “bleeding-heart Democrats,” who you really “met,” believe this because it’s been a non-stop mantra of the conservative traditional media for thirty years?”
I must admit, it’s partly because of the “non-stop mantra of the traditional media for thirty years.” As a recovering troll, I’m trying to become more intellectually honest. I hope I don’t get too honest, or I’ll have nothing left to hide behind.
There are so many examples that I don’t have to name any. The only reason you don’t agree with me is becaue you have been brainwashed by the liberal media and liberal academia.
Liberals. Hmf.
Ask a Democrat about his and he will tell you who it stands for—women, minorities, the poor
i.e., the majority of the population.
I’m sure Jonah’s reader shared a taxi with a liberal once, so it’s a totally true story.
One would think that Conservatism is like one of those time share sales pitches, where they keep the actual costs and benefits fuzzy for as long as possible.
“Ask a Democrat about his and he will tell you who it stands for—women, minorities, the poor”
Thank goodness Republicans aren’t “for” women , gays, and swarthy types! Respect for ethnic and cultural minorities and rampant feminism are hallmarks of all Fascist regimes, after all.
Are all conservatives ignorant dipshits, or just the ones who talk?
The professor of Bio-Sophistry is really in trouble if thats the best of the mailbag. What delusional tub of goo.
That was mean. Maybe I should apologize and try to be more politically correct so as not offend the conservatives. You know how they can be when it suits them.
Fixed.
Oh, good.
There is literally nothing conservatives won’t do if they can manipulate public finances into the private wealth of them and their interests.
BLT, imagine your latest stupid idea is correct.
On the other hand, I have met too many bleeding-heart Democrats, who believe, falsely, that looking down on the poor by considering them helpless, and developing policies that support this alternative condescending attitude, is a good way to bring them up.
So I’m poor and some nitwit thinks I’m helpless and pays for my education. The harm done was…what?
“Are all conservatives ignorant dipshits, or just the ones who talk?”
Statements such as these keep the ones who are not silent, so they won’t have to endure such labels. So, with statements like this, you are really asking for more from the ones that are, and less from those who are not.
Also, consider this: Humility is the beginning of wisdom. When you hold your nose in the presence of another human being, your nose automatically goes higher up in the air.
Who was that bleeding-heart who kept telling everyone to help the poor; indeed, to be rich was wrong?
You know, kinda young, dark hair, name starts with J or something?
“When you hold your nose in the presence of another human being, your nose automatically goes higher up in the air.”
And when you step over dog poop in the park, you are automatically goose-stepping.
As I believe Katha Pollit pointed out, “women minorities and the poor” are, like, 80% of the population.
So yeah, I identify with pretty much everybody.
“BLT, imagine your latest stupid idea is correct.”
Apologize for calling one of my ideas “stupid,” and say “Uncle.” Then I will be happy to answer your question.
“And when you step over dog poop in the park, you are automatically goose-stepping.”
That’s like the dog that first sniffed it, then ate it, then said, “Oh my God, I’m glad I didn’t step in it.”
There is simply no identity politics involved in the modern day conservative movement. Let’s see what Bill O’Rielly has to say:
O’REILLY: OK, I think it’s a small part, but I think it’s there. On the other side, you have people who hate America, and they hate it because it’s run primarily by white, Christian men. Let me repeat that. America is run primarily by white, Christian men, and there is a segment of our population who hates that, despises that power structure. So they, under the guise of being compassionate, want to flood the country with foreign nationals, unlimited, unlimited, to change the complexion — pardon the pun — of America. Now, that’s hatred, too.
-GSD
Apologize for calling one of my ideas “stupid,” and say “Uncle.”
Okay, here goes: Please suck the turds from a donkey’s ass.
Bear with me, I’ll get it right sooner or later.
That doesn’t sound anything like an apology or an “Uncle” declaration. But I’m willing to give you another chance to do the “Righteous” thing.
“You know, kinda young, dark hair, name starts with J or something?”
Oh, THAT guy. Wasn’t he a radical liberal Jew? Whose gonna listen to him???
But I’m willing to give you another chance to do the “Righteous” thing.
Okay, here goes:
The Vampire Squid (Vampyroteuthis infernalis, lit. “vampire squid from hell”) is a small, deep-sea cirrate cephalopod found throughout the temperate and tropical oceans of the world. Unique retractile sensory filaments justify the Vampire Squid’s placement in its own order: Vampyromorphida (formerly Vampyromorpha), though it shares similarities with both squid and octopuses. As a phylogenetic relict it is the only surviving member of its order, first described and mistakenly identified as an octopus in 1903 by German teuthologist Carl Chun. Shove one of those up your ass.
Erm. Needs work.
Wow. BLT talking about humility, in an incredibly patronising and superior tone. Awesome.
I bet he’s written a fucking song about it, which he’ll ‘reluctantly’ post a link to, because everyone here has expressed so much interest in hearing his humble, unassuming stylings.
I’m trying to become more intellectually honest. I hope I don’t get too honest, or I’ll have nothing left to hide behind.
But ch’yer NAAT!, BLT. You aren’t becoming more intellectually honest. You’re still dumping platitudes from the very gates of heaven.
This shows that their belly is exposed for all to see and it’s time to plunge the sword into the beast.
Their line has always been “people know whats best with their own money” together with the trickle-down smokescreen for anyone who asked questions. But, as Sara has demonstrated at the Big Con is that everyone’s FUTURE has been severely compromised by the short-sightedness of the very core of the Conservative Lie: the money has to go somewhere, either to the government or back into the hands of the people. If it goes back to the people, as we have seen, bridges fail, levee’s break, people die and the government is to fucked up to help.
I wonder if the people in TN are suddenly realizing that Conservative government means letting things break, then counting on a flood of internet donations to the Red Cross and free calls from an ATT van to make everyone feel better. That is the way disaster’s seem to work now. Even Wal-Mart is trying to get PR traction in the disaster response business, so it must be becoming pretty clear to the people who are “stupid enough to live where there are flood’s and tornado’s” that that is the way things should work in a conservative world.
We have to press strongly that real government works to build for a future where things don’t break, and when they do, there is help that isn’t trying to sell you something.
Duh, how are the rich supposed to help? Who would go to the “Homeless People with Kids” charity ball?
“I wonder if the people in TN are suddenly realizing that Conservative government means letting things break, then counting on a flood of internet donations to the Red Cross and free calls from an ATT van to make everyone feel better.”
Absolutely! Why, even Haliburton is helping out the tornado-afflicted folk in the midWest. Isn’t that nice!
“But ch’yer NAAT!, BLT. You aren’t becoming more intellectually honest. You’re still dumping platitudes from the very gates of heaven.”
I must be honest. That’s exactly what I’m doing.
I am lying. Everything I say is a lie.
Thanks for the advice, Pai-Mei.
1. Cut taxes
2. ?
3. Profit!
“Thanks for the advice, Pai-Mei.”
Thanks, but didn’t you mean to say Carl Douglas?:
Ya know, if Hee Haw ever makes a come back, they’re gonna have a “Whale” of a tough time turning down Republican Comedians like Joan-ah.
And with Jr. Huckabee running who could forget BR 911?
Ha ha hah! here’s Johnny.
Here’s some Liberal Fascism for ya
Every name on this list:
http://www.opensecrets.org/presidential/summary.asp?id=N00008072&cycle=2004
Every person who gave $2000 or more to Bush in 2004 should face doubled taxes until Bush’s Folly is paid off.
Oh, the whining would crumple steel!
Huh. That’s strange. That site shows that MIchelle Malkin hasn’t donated anything, yet here she demands that everyone should work and sacrifice and donate money to get the conservative party back in power.
I just don’t understand.
Righteous Bubba said,
The Vampire Squid (Vampyroteuthis infernalis, lit. “vampire squid from hell”) is a small, deep-sea cirrate cephalopod
This time it is RB’s turn to be Acting D. Sidhe.
“When you hold your nose in the presence of another human being, your nose automatically goes higher up in the air.”
Not if you’re holding your nose with your toes.
This Liberal Fascism stuff is kinda fun!
The Military Industrialist Veterans Appreciation Hospitals.
Corporations that profitted from Bush’s folly will all combine money to have built 150 Verterans hospitals all over the United States. Continuing operations will be funded in part by Veterans Appreciation Tax that will be applied to all future military contracts. In addition, a system of “points” will devised that will tie donations to the hospitals with a scoring system for obtaining military contracts.
Lets make Health Care the reason our soldiers join!!
BLTurd bleats:
On the other hand, I have met too many bleeding-heart Democrats, who believe, falsely, that looking down on the poor by considering them helpless, and developing policies that support this alternative condescending attitude, is a good way to bring them up.
You know, turd, I used to be middle class. Then I got too sick to work and got ripped off by insurance companies. Now I’m poor. But I’m not helpless. Oh, no.
As you would discover once I beat you about your empty head with my walking stick if I ever had the misfortune to meet you and you said something as ineffably halfwitted as you do in that quote.
Just shut up, you tedious, ignorant dullard. Your ‘music’ sucks. Your ‘ideas’ suck. You suck.
YOU are the condescending fucktard in this situation.
You haven’t met any bleeding-heart Democrats because you obviously haven’t got a fucking clue what any Democrats, of any cardiovascular condition whatever, believe.
…bring them up? Up to what, you idiotic wanker? Up to your exalted level?
Tell you what, bub. If I were as vapid and pea-brained as you appear to be at your (no doubt) advanced age I would kill myself.
I will settle for you sitting down, shutting the fuck up, and learning something from people who know something.
/rant
Ahem. Carry on being clever, ladies and gentlemen, if you can (fixes the BLTurd with a glare).
This doesn’t mean that Democrats don’t have ideas
Aw, how generous.
The New Deal
The Marshall Plan
Social Security
Civil Rights Act
Great Society
Moonshot
I guess, if we really wanted to be magnanimous, we could admit that *sometimes* Demcorats have ideas.
The Inner Fascist Liberal is terrifying to behold!
The U.S. Congressional Iraqi Parliament Expedition.
Those members of the House and Senate that have been the strongest enablers of Bush’s Folly will travel to Iraq. In Iraq they will become Mentors to the members of the Iraqi Parliament. The will learn the issues and advise their students. A special Dormitory will be built in the Green Zone to house them. They will stay until such time as Iraq is a Freedom Loving Democracy and Bastion of Capitalsim!Those persons who are no longer members of Congress should consider themselves drafted.
Is that Fascist enough for ya bitch?
This time it is RB’s turn to be Acting D. Sidhe.
Hmm? Oh, sorry. I was sleeping today. I hadn’t done it in a few days, and my partner pointed out that should the three requisite consecutive apocalypses to turn humans into vampire werewolf zombies come down this weekend, I will already be in desperate need of rest and yet unable to sleep for fear of being eaten, so it’s best to get it out of the way while humanity’s endgame is merely in the works. My partner and I have some odd discussions.
Vampire squid are soft and squishy. They have a beak, but it’s not, all things considered, a big one. So shoving one up one’s ass is a distinct possibility, given, in any event, an application stick or cookie gun or something.
On the other hand, they’re charming creatures and hardly deserve such a fate. May I recommend a large poison ivy bush instead?
Wow, those vampire squid! I had to watch the National Geographic video, and man, was it groovy. I had no idea that there really was something known as the “vampire squid from hell”. Thanks, RB, you’ve extended my knowledge of deep-water cetaceans.
Can we introduce Jonah to one?
Too much like incest, Qetesh.
cetaceanscephalopods.Cetaceans are whales. (Obvious joke left to reader discretion as I’m also somewhat sei-like.)
Squids and octopodes, which the vampire squid is about halfway between according to the last thing I read on the subject, are cephalopods. Science is fun! Unless you’re a republican, in which case it’s either expensive or satanic.
Vampire squid are not the sort of thing one should expect a cat to know, since cats don’t swim, particularly not at any depth. My cats also completely ignore all my nature documentaries though they perk up for the occasional movie in which sabretooth cats eat people. I’m just being pedantic because I have yet another migraine and and am between prescription refills.
Also, I type slow.
Also, apparently cephalopods are as smart as cats, and therefore it seems cruel to let Jonah bore them to death with his latest batch of “fanmail”.
I’m now going to go annoy someone else for a while.
Let me guess, that was written by a subprime mortgage broker.
Also, apparently cephalopods are as smart as cats
If that is so, how come they’re so crap at catching mice? Eh?
Here are the results of a controlled experiment. Number of mice caught in a 4-month period:
1. Mehitabel the Abyssian: 8.
2. Squydney the Squamous Squid: 0.
3. Elephant in the corner of the room that no-one is talking about: 2.
Because every time they grab a mouse they’re left with just a sucker full of little air tanks and tiny weight belts.
That site shows that MIchelle Malkin hasn’t donated anything, yet here she demands that everyone should work and sacrifice and donate money to get the conservative party back in power.
Did you check under her maiden name? Maglanang or something like that?
Yes, nothing under her names and her husband’s name. Same with Jonah Goldberg, Kathryn Jean Lopez, Peter Beinart, Mark Steyn, Victor Davis Hanson, Stanley Kurtz, John Derbyshire (unless he lives in SC), Andrew Stuttaford, and Lisa Schiffren.
Looks like were gonna have to come up with a very ‘special’ tax for them…
Look, they work damned hard for that wingnut welfare. Handing money over to political candidates is for people who aren’t busy fighting the war of ideas.
Good god, what a bunch of chickenhawks in every respect.
The BIll Maher transcript from Jonah Goldberg’s appearance is up. He barely says anything, except to support torture.
The funny part is that at the Corner he says he “broke his boycott” of BIll Maher to peddle his book, when he didn’t get to discuss.