The Constitution is only meant to be strictly constructed when a Democrat is in control of the Executive Branch. When a Republican steals the office, it’s automatically suspended.

They no longer believe that if they clap hard enough, the Angel Mittromni will save them? Or at least deliver some golden plates with inscrutable messages and a decoder ring?

I’d like to see what “reader mail” we can get approvingly published by the Corner.

“Dear Corner,

I think that if McCain wins the nomination he should prove himself by setting several Taco Bells on fire in order to show the Mexicans that America will not see her proud fast food heritage trampled upon lightly.”

Yeah, promise us you won’t mean that oath… we already know that, somewhere, but we want to be certain you won’t be one of those constitution-lovin librul fascists!

Several Taco Bells, Brad?

Shirley, you jest.

A true merkin candidate would set fire to all the Taco Bells, and their little dog, too!

Give me land, lots of land and the starry skies above
Don’t fence me in
Let me ride through the wide open spaces that I love…

At least we can say this for McCain:

Unlike Bush, he knows that Taco Bell is not the Mexican phone company.

I’m not sure if that’s do-able under the Constitution, or not — but, it’s something I would definitely advise him to do.

It’s nice to see that Alberto Gonzales is staying in touch.

someone needs to tell Dumbass that mending fences and building fences are not the same thing.

[I]f I were Obama and trying to mend fences, I’d promise something along the lines of an executive order on outlawing Fox News — maybe even on the day I take office. I’m not sure if that’s do-able under the Constitution, or not — but, it’s something I would definitely advise him to do.

He could certainly help build one of my fences.

“This reminds me of an idea Clark Judge and I once had as we were musing about George H. W. Bush’s second inauguration (which turned out to be Bill Clinton’s first inauguration instead). After delivering his inaugural address, we decided, the president could turn, mount the steps to the Capitol, enter the President’s Room, seat himself at a desk, and, as cameras flashed, sign half a dozen or so executive orders, delivering on as many campaign promises within an hour of his swearing in. The idea, of course, was to back words with action, and to do so at once.”

Considering how Pres. Clinton’s first act was to sign the Family Leave Act (I know that’s not quite the whole title, but I’m gasping for air from laughing so hard), does this NR gasbag know he’s just tried to steal an idea — right in front of his audience?

Raw Power

It’s got no place to go.

I assume that “[I]f I were McCain and trying to mend fences” means “get back the favor of the insane nutjobs who want to build a Doom Fortress along Mexico, with guards with high powered sniper rifles who shoot sand niggers for fun”, as opposed to mending the fence with the majority of America. Because sane people know that a fence is a retarded idea that won’t work.

…as opposed to mending the fence with the majority of America…

Well, given the right’s deep-rooted hatred for the majority of Americans, they would probably be all for building the Mexico border fence out of the majority of Americans.

Perhaps a 2000+ mile border wall made out of human skeletons would begin to express their degree of anger with everyone they hate.

You forgot to mention flinging poo on Inauguration Day. That shows them who is boss.

If I were McCain, or not, and wanted to pander to the true terrors of the fReichtards, I would build a gigantic bed big enough for all of them to hide under, clutching the government-issued blankies I would generously provide.

The Neocons, of course, would require a giant refrigerator instead, because in what passes for their souls they are all cockroaches.

And once Teh Base had jointly retreated to the warm, dark, slightly foul-smelling spaces they so crave, the remaining seventy percent of us could get on with the job of repairing the grevious damage that’s been inflicted on America during the last 30 years in the name of ‘conservatism’.

I’m all for building a little enclosure for the wingnuts. call it a gated community. inside they can have one-party elections, build walls and fences, erect monuments to ronald reagan and george bush, torture one another on saturday night and attend church on sunday.

should keep the rest of the world safe.

Shouldn’t the advice to McCain be to dig some holes?

It must be something about Super Tuesday… any big political event is going to perturb these guys, now that it’s clear that the Permanent Republican Majority has gone up in smoke and that a Democratic majority that does stuff other than what Republicans order them to might actually happen.

Utah’s primary was today – looks like Obama walked away with the D side, 57% to Hillary’s 39%. Romney took a major beating, barely getting 90% of the R vote.

But it isn’t the feeling of safety the Turd Reichists want — they want that feeling that they are barely preserving their bastions of safety and undiluted concentrated “culture” while all around them the forces of liberal muslimofaggot mexifascist paganism gather for the final assault.

Their life is without meaning if they cannot imagine that their lives are about to be snuffed out by the mysterious others.

That’s how evangelicals survive — by convincing their congregations, large and small, that anything from liberals to the actual forces of Satan are seeking to defeat even their tiniest goals.

So if you build that big bed for them to hide in, make sure you also hide monsters in all the closets, so that they hear them bumping around and growling as the wind blows, all to simulate the feeling of barely-contained apocalypse on which they depend emotionally.

I’m not sure if that’s do-able under the Constitution, or not — but, it’s something I would definitely advise him to do.

This is just their way of saying “He doesn’t actually have to have the fence built. He just needs to act like he wants it built”.

This is pretty much their strategy with abortion. It’s not important to pass laws that are constitutional and that actually achieve their objectives. It’s much more important to give the appearance that you care about something than to actually care about it.

15% of Canadians would give up their ballot in Canada’s next federal election to vote in the U.S. election, a new poll co-sponsored by the CBC has found.

This is new. Some heavy shit must be up…oh yeah, the possibility of another neoconservative batshit crazy administration after the one the US has now.

The poll, …asked 2,001 Canadians over the age of 15 questions about how they perceive their role, and Canada’s role, in the world.

Forty-six per cent of those surveyed in January by telephone said it matters a great deal to Canada who wins the November 2008 U.S. presidential election. Another 35 per cent said it mattered somewhat, while only eight per cent said it doesn’t matter at all.

While 34 per cent of those surveyed said they would like to see a Democrat win the next election and five per cent said a Republican, a whopping 56 per cent surveyed said it makes no difference to them whether the next president is a Republican or a Democrat.

Really? That’s difficult to understand when…

While Canadians see the United States as important, when asked what countries stand out as being a negative force in the world, 52 per cent of respondents named the U.S. The next most common answers were Iran (22 per cent), Iraq (19 per cent) and China (13 per cent).

“It’s not necessarily a sign of anti-Americanism, but a concern about the direction the country is going,” [Keith] Neuman [of Environics] said.

The direction the country is going in UNDER REPUBLICANS!

Not anti-American, but anti-Bush.

He said the overall opinion of the United States was much higher in surveys done in the 1980s, but that opinion started to drop in 2001, hitting an all-time low in 2006.

DUH!

Neuman said other studies have shown that people’s opinions of the U.S. are negative because they are uncomfortable with the country’s foreign policy, including the invasion of Iraq. They also cite discomfort with U.S. President George W. Bush, who took office in January 2001.

Still don’t care whether it’s Republicans or Democrats, huh? Say what?

“I think the fact that Canadians pay so much attention to the U.S. election is a sign that they really care about the United States, a sign that they want it to get back to where it was before,” Neuman said.

And that would be…a Democratic administration? Perhaps? Maybe?

Dumbasses.

TEH BEST EVAR FROM CONSRVTVE BLOGS!!!!! FCK MCAIN!!!!

So if you build that big bed for them to hide in, make sure you also hide monsters in all the closets, so that they hear them bumping around and growling as the wind blows, all to simulate the feeling of barely-contained apocalypse on which they depend emotionally.

El Cid, they will build their *own* monsters. That’s the “best” part of using terror as one’s guiding emotion: it’s an infinitely self-renewing resource. The Giant Bed of Right-eous Thinking is just a way to gather their self-supporting fear community, where they can preserve their sacred lifestyles without the intervention of the reality-biased.

Lesley, that’s because they get the same MSM crap flung at them as we do, so they get told over and over again that Democrats and Republicans are the same. It’s a stupid meme, and the Republicans want to pretend that Democrats do the same crimes.

Also… It’d be constitutional for the President to build a fence. That’s the funny thing I see in this statement. A president could totally do it. Money for it would be a problem, since the Republicans didn’t fund their own ‘fence must be built!’ law in 2006.

It’s just sad that this guy isn’t at all bothered about recommending his defender of the constitution to do something he things violates it.

…Of course, some conservatives think same-sex marriages and transsexualism violate the constitution, too. (funniest quote near bottom)

From an outsider’s perspective (UK), there doesn’t seem to be a huge difference between the Republican and Democrat parties. Between the voters/supporters of the 2 parties there seems to be separate opinions, but overall on policies not so much. Personally I’m hoping Obama wins because I think Hillary wouldn’t be substantially different to another Republican.

However, whatever happens, it’s going to take an incredible achievement for the Democrats to stay in power for more than 4 years as I think they’ll get blamed for the coming recession and the media will help the Republicans convince the people that it’s all the Democrat’s fault. Whatever a Democrat president does, if they want to reverse the incredible damage that has been done they are going to have to make some tough decisions and alienate some people.

The fact is, a republican (but hopefully not McCain) will win. The Heartland will not tolerate a woman or negro president.

Hell, make the announcement during the inauguration. It would be just like Robert Frost reading that poem during JFK’s inauguration, except that it would be “Mending Wall” instead of “The Gift Outright”.

The fact is, look at any map of USA. The Heartland is huge. The coasts are skinny and small. Sure there are a lot of people crammed into some of those skinny states, but with the huge areas, resources and dreams commanded by the Heartland and Middle America, we should have the most representation, or certainly more than we do now. It is not fair.

The fact is, we will win anyway, dispite the liberl medias leftward tilt, for they are coastal elitists, we support non-gay marriage, death penalty, no abortions, and more God in government, and there are more of us commanding more land space than you. The first step of the next Republican president should be to outlaw liberalsm in times of war (and the war against terror is the Long War, no quick fixes to apease liberals)as liberalsim is like sedition. Hilary would be like Hitler and outlaw God.

The fact is, the South nominated our true leader and candidate last night, Governor and Rapture Leader Mike Huckabee, who will finally allow the South to put an end to the Heartland’s pretensions of Tru Americanismiosis.

Big people should get more votes than little people.

Big people should get more votes than little people.

Yes, but we must somehow distinguish between the nobly large and the slothfully obese. This is central to my point.

I bet that guy works for Parsons/Haliburton/KBR.

D-Fence is every contractor’s wet dream. You get the money to build it, more money when your first estimate turns out to be way the fuck off and more money when unforeseen construction issues cause half the thing to fall down. Plus some sort of mercenary army private security firm would have to protect the workers.

You can say it is to keep the dangerous brownferriners at bay. People might object if they knew it was to shoot Americans angry about the wholesale exercise of Eminent Domain that would be necessary to build the damn thing.

Maybe it would be a good idea. If it were ever Texas ranchers v. Blackwater chumps, I’d put all my money on Texas.

Well the new president will have to find something unconstitutional to do on the first day in office. We can’t just go back to being a nation of laws all at once, the shock would kill us!

What’s that Michelle?

Oh, Malkin thinks we should put all the Muzzies in camp. That would certainly… oh… oh, I see.

Nevermind, the Supreme Court says that’s ok.

It’s time for the next fake Gary to log on. This one’s heart isn’t in it.

Gary at 15:14 puzzles me. It isn’t funny enough to be a fake, but the cliches are too contrived to be real. Is Real Gary a Fake Gary too now?

I think it’s cute that a mouthbreather from the Corner presumes that McCain or any other candidate would be the slightest bit interest in what he would “advise” McCain to do.

Why doesn’t any country use a goverment system where votes are based on persons IQ? That way, your average ignorant idiot has less then half the votes compared to normal people. In terms of fairness, they do make it up with the sheer number of idiots present in any society compared to the “smarter ones”.
IQ test could be retested every five years, or for every election, if you pay for it yourself.

And what is the conservative getting all horny over the idea of erecting a long, sturdy wall? What about the whole “tear down this wall” stuff by Saint Ronnie they value so much?

The first step of the next Republican president should be to outlaw liberalsm in times of war

Oh, yes, I think there are several “isms” that should be outlawed. I’m not much fond of post-modernism.

And as for that Heartland business? How’s that Obama Kansas, North Dakota, and Minnesota vote looking for you?

That post should be linked anytime someone over there talks about “activist judges” or denigrates the “living Constitution” in favor of “originalism”.

I have reason to be very confident, as McCain can’t lose to the presumptive Democrat nominee Hillary Clinton.

Clinton won the primaries in NY, NJ, CA, FL, and MI.

Obama’s biggest primary win was a stolen win in Missouri (c’mon, like Obama can go from being down 20 to winning by 6000 votes.. STL and KC stole the election like how they robbed Jim Talent)

STL and KC stole the election like how they robbed Jim Talent)

‘Tis true.
White people buy votes.
Black people only steal them.

In this primary, when 90% of Blacks vote for the Black candidate, it’s okay.

But if 90% of Whites were voting for a White Candidate over a minority, it would be racist.

Basically Obama has not won a major primary without the aid of a Black bloc.

Cool. I didn’t know the anarchists were (1) voting and (2) voting for Obama. Thanks, fake parody troll!

Obama pulled in 40% of the white vote – in “Heartland states,” numb nuts.

Hey, kids, look at that! Obama won a primary by getting votes? What will those crazy voters think of next?

I thought parody trolls were supposed to be funny.

That’s the real Gary, guys.

Gary, and all clones of Gary, have gone beyond simple “funny” or “not funny”. The only question when it comes to Gary is “Gary” or “not Gary”. Imitating Gary is itself hilarious, because it brings the post closer to being “Gary”. I wholeheartedly believe that there never was a Gary, only “Gary”, and that the fact is every single Gary Ruppert post has been made by truth-seekers looking to attain “Gary”.

As secret cultish religions go, it beats Scientology.

One who seeks wingnut nirvana? Trying to be Mahatma-Gary?

Boddh-the-fact-isattvas, perhaps.

…okaythatwasterrible.

That’s the real Gary, guys.

Damn, that’s sad.

I prefer Mr. Phelan’s explanation. Thee is no “Gary,” there is only the State of Garyness.

I gary, therefore I am.

To gary: to place one’s head so far up one’s posterior that one can see the plaque on the back of one’s teeth.

As a Canadian, I can explain those poll results, I think. We don’t much like Republicans up here, but we don’t really trust Democrats either. We’re in general pretty suspicious of US pols, mostly because the vast majority of them simultaneously ignore us and take us for granted. (We’re the oil-exporting nation sitting on your border that is your second-largest trading partner, and used to be your largest, remember. ‘Course, nobody ever does. I mean, it’s not like we’ve got a trade war going on, or anything.)

I’m personally not very confident that the next US president, even if Democratic, is going to be able to reverse a lot of what the Bush gang has done, and if the Dems are as bad on “deep integration” (the huge issue no American has ever heard of) as the Repubs, Canadians are just as fucked either way.

That felt like a real Gary to me. There’s more than one real Gary, right? Don’t they work in shifts?

I don’t know gary. I’m in Idaho, and Obama won big, and I don’t think we have forty blacks here.

if the Dems are as bad on “deep integration” (the huge issue no American has ever heard of) as the Repubs

Is that something about the NAFTA superhighway? Whatever it is, I’m agin’ it!

Canadians are just as fucked either way.
Yeah but, just because you’re there, bitches. Usually we’re thinking about something else entirely. Hey, I wonder what’s under Iran’s burkha…

“It’s much more important to give the appearance that you care about something than to actually care about it.”

Movement Conservatives aren’t capable of “actually caring” about anything other than power and money.

Veterans have no legal right to specific types of medical care, the Bush administration argues in a lawsuit accusing the government of illegally denying mental health treatment to some troops returning from Iraq and Afghanistan.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/02/05/MNQLUQ4IS.DTL&hw=Veterans&sn=001&sc=1000

…because nothing says “freedom” like large numbers of people with untreated mental problems, experience with, and access to, high-powered weapons…

We’re in general pretty suspicious of US pols, mostly because the vast majority of them simultaneously ignore us and take us for granted.

Then logically you should be pretty suspicious of about 95% of American citizens as well, myself (sorry!) included.

On the other hand, if 100% of blacks were forced to vote for white presidential candidates for over a century, well, that’s so trivial that it doesn’t even bear discussion.

[…] like the site Sadly, No! loves to read The Corner and make fun of them. Hell, it’s daily fodder and really lets you […]

…because the vast majority of them simultaneously ignore us and take us for granted.
Sorry, we’re just not that into you.

[I]f I were McCain and trying to mend fences, I’d promise something along the lines of an executive order on building fences

Whatever happened to the fences being mended????

Build, mend, tear down, whatever. The contractors don’t care, as long as they’re getting paid to do it.

Desperado, why dont you come to your senses?
You been out mending fences for so long now
Oh, youre a hard one
I know that you got your reasons
These things that are pleasin you
Can hurt you somehow

Don’t you draw the queen of diamonds, boy
Shell beat you if shes able
You know the queen of heats is always your best bet

Now it seems to me, some fine things
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones that you cant get

Desperado, oh, you aint gettin no youger
Your pain and your hunger, theyre drivin you home
And freedom, oh freedom well, thats just some people talkin
Your prison is walking through this world all alone

Dont your feet get cold in the winter time?
The sky wont snow and the sun wont shine
Its hard to tell the night time from the day
Youre loosin all your highs and lows
Aint it funny how the feeling goes away?

Desperado, why dont you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences, open the gate
It may be rainin, but theres a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you, before its too late

In this primary, when 90% of Blacks vote for the Black candidate, it’s okay.

But if 90% of Whites were voting for a White Candidate over a minority, it would be racist.

You know, I seem to remember one or two elections where 90% of whites voted for white candidates. But I don’t recall that part about anybody saying it was racist.

Ya know, I’m glad you conservatives are so delusional. There is nothing so fucking dumb that you won’t say it. It’s very amusing. You really should leave some of that rancid nonsense in your ass where you found it.

And please stop speaking for “the Heartland.” Like pretty much every word your movement has gotten hold of and cynically (or gullibly) exploited, this one has no meaning any more. The way you use it, you are implying that everyone in “the Heartland” is a fucking dumbass, fit for little else beyond heatless manipulation by the corporate masters that are running the Repug Party right off a cliff. (And taking the rest of the country with it.)

I really wish conservatives would start thinking more about saving the country than about further enriching the wealthy. Conservatives deserve what happens to them when the country collapses. But the rest of us don’t.

The fact is, the Heartland is real, and I speak for it. I speak for USA, for Freedom, for Limited Government, for Free Markets, and for God.

and for God.

BURN THE WITCH!

Gary Ruppert said,

The fact is, the Heartland is real

So when you guys have fires, we should call it Heartburn?

Or just a bunch of dumb hicks who don’t know enough not to throw a lit match into a can of gasoline?

The Fact is, all Garys are Gary; Gary is the sum total of all contributing Garys. There is no such thing s Fake Gary; because by participating in the Gary, the commenter becomes a part of Gary.

Gary is all and all Garys are Gary.

However, some Garys are dumber than others.

Gary, I live in the Heartland. I grew up in the Heartland. I, to my great regret, know there are people like you in the Heartland and unfortunately I’m even related to some.

However, you do NOT speak for the Heartland, not by a long shot, and the Heartland is not the monolithically ignorant rightwing followers you make them out to be.

I know the Heartland, sir, and You are NOT the Heartland.

And for all it’s advantages, there’s a reason the Heartland is called “Flyover Country”

The fact is, the Heartland is real, and I speak for it.

Yeah, um, no you don’t. Please shut up.

Yeah, dipshit.

So this could be the Over-Gary we are talking to?

Why doesn’t any country use a goverment system where votes are based on persons IQ? That way, your average ignorant idiot has less then half the votes compared to normal people.

I know you’re joking, just like other people who make this comment are joking but it pisses me a little bit because in the not too distant past in some parts of the US people got around the fact that certain people they didn’t want to vote were allowed to vote by instituting various tests. It wasn’t that they didn’t want brown people to vote, oh no. They just didn’t want illiterate people to vote.

So. Um. Shaddup.

…because the vast majority of them simultaneously ignore us and take us for granted.
Sorry, we’re just not that into you.

ironically – this being a lefty blog and all – this is precisely the attitude citizens of the rest of the world despise in Americans. Canadians do not share this point of view about any other country, which is why we’re welcomed internationally and why you guys slap the Canadian flag on your backpacks when you’re travelling. You need to rein in that arrogance…

Psst. Gary. I spoke with my good friend Hillary Clinton and she said that when she’s president, she’s going to wall off the Heartland and let them live any way they want, as long as they don’t write home asking for money. They will support themselves and make up their own laws and police themselves.

Just think, a whole area with no taxes or public services. Private enterprise instead of govt so you will have to pay to go on a road, use a toilet, and have your cities patrolled. You can have as much security as you like, so no one can go into (or get out of) your own private Idaho.

Your schoools will be shut down since they are tax-payer funded and your women can stay home and be financially depended on their husbands and teach their children Patriotism and Religion. Your wives will provide all your doctors and scientists and engineers.

Fortunately, you can pray for God’s help anywhere and at any time, instead of depending on secular atheist scientists to heal you or keep the bridges up or deal with plagues. All your sons can join the military now, since there will be no gays. And you’ll have lots and lots and lots of kids, if God blesses you every year or so, since birth control and abortions will be ended.

I too was born and raised in the heartland and still reside here. Gary in no ways speaks for me, or anyone that I know.

In fact, Gary is a horse’s ass. That is central to my point.

They’re joking Lesley.

If you hang around here long enough, you’ll see how their hearts are full of envy for us.

Boddh-the-fact-isattvas, perhaps. …okaythatwasterrible.

Au contraire! It’s hilarious!

PS Lesley, you should have been here the day after Bu**sh** was re-elected in November 2004, they were all begging for a Canadian to adopt them, or for Canada to invade their border state.

I am the Ruppox.
I speak for the sleaze!

It’s just curious that people who claim to be liberal – and educated – don’t see the connection between that particular attitude and US foreign policy.

I am from the Heartland, I have relatives and many friends there.

Yes, there was a time when many of them were quite embarrassing because of their support for the Repugs and Bush and the fucking mess they have created.

The number of “Heartlanders” supporting the Repugs is dwindling … FAST. And it’s not because they are dying.

It’s because the conservative leadership very much overestimated the power of persuasion of the Repug Noise Machine at the same time they very much underestimated the intelligence of the “Heartland” base.

Yes, it’s true that “liberals” think many “Heartlanders” are stupid. But it’s the conservatives who spare no effort to trick, and fool, and manipulate these same “Heartlanders.”

And it appears that the Repug leadership – fat, bloated and overconfident after so many decades of feeding off of “Heartlander stupidity” – have vastly overstepped their bounds.

Even my Mom can see through it at this point. She’s supporting Ron Paul.

It’s just curious that people who claim to be liberal – and educated – don’t see the connection between that particular attitude and US foreign policy.

Giving you a little ribbing about the Empire of Canadia != Supporting the Bush foreign policy. I mean, c’mon.

Also, what’s with this notion that being a liberal automatically means you have the utmost love for Canada? I’m a liberal, yet Canada has always struck me as the nation-state equivalent of a Coldplay album. It’s very good at being *there*, I guess, and then that’s it. Canada is never wronged me, and I appreciate the fossil fuels and the lumber and the Oilers giving my team of choice the Stanley Cup in 2006, but I can’t find anything else. I’m also thankful for Bic ballpoint pens, FWIW.

Canadians do not share this point of view about any other country

Because Canadians credibly can’t. Know what’s worse than an arrogant American? An arrogant Canadian, because that shouldn’t make any damn sense. Which brings me to:

which is why we’re welcomed internationally and why you guys slap the Canadian flag on your backpacks when you’re travelling.

You know who the worst tourists I’ve ever seen are? Canadians. Canadians who think that their un-Americanness is somehow an excuse to act like the world somehow owes them something. Canadians who show up to Maine every summer and trash the place. Canadians who are themselves the epitome of the Ugly American stereotype, and yet somehow sucker people into never telling them. Canadians.

Also, know what’s on my backpack? My name.

The existence of the Ugly Canadian depends on the existence of the Ugly American. How sick is that?

Hmmm… let me first state that I claim some measure of impartiality on the basis that I am a dual citizen of Canada and the US.

Now, I can’t deny, D.N.N. that okay, yes, there are some fat ugly Canadian tourists of the type you’ve encountered in Maine.

Since I live in Ontario, I don’t know those folks but I’m guessing that they would be a) Maritimers and b) Tories.

But sweet Jeebus, in December I went on a repositioning cruise from Rome to Fort Lauderdale full of Americans, and let me say this:

I’ll be really, really, happy if I never meet another obese southern-drawling racist moron like the ones on my cruise ship.

Or hear another whiny New York accent repeating all the latest Fox News talking points about Cesar Chavez.

Or listen to another dinner table sermon about how the US is the greatest country in the world, and all them durn furriners oughtta be grateful cuz we won World War II for ’em, dagnabbit!

My wife and I usually kept real quiet during these harangs but could bear it no longer when a bunch of New York City diots started complaining about how the US pays the total cost for the entire United Nations.

“Oh, really?” we said. “We heard that the US owed a billion dollars and wouldn’t pay up. so Ted Turner paid for them.”

That shut ’em right up!

BURN THE WITCH!

First motherfucker so much as strikes a match gets the whole damned bonfire shoved right up his ass. Do you read me?

Yeah, lots of idiots take cruises. No doubt aboot that. If I ever take one remind me not to admit it on the internets.

That’s right all you cruise ship aficionados out there. I’m in the mood for a pointless flame war and I’m calling you motherfuckers out. Bring it on pantywaists. I’ll be obsessively refreshing for the next few hours so come on, out with it.

Cruises are like Macs, while other vacation options are like PCs.

Our honey moon was really quite a refreshing weekend . We didn’t do the dishes unless we really felt like it . The money we saved walking to the store paid for itself ! Ahhh , to be young and in love , or not to be for long . That is the delicate balance youth fleetingly measures against until wisdom sets in and the answer becomes , S N .
Take the Mac leave the Cannoli

You won’t get an argument from me, Lawnguylander.

I’m not saying that everybody who goes for cruise ship vacations is a Bush voter, but if you ever want to meet a lot of Bush voters, a cruise ship is a really good place to do it.

“Politics is so, so awesome.”

Agreed, though as practiced by wingnuts it’s not really ‘politics*’ so much as it’s a kind of non-stop multi-player online version of a video game based on untreated Tourette’s syndrome.

*the definition of the term ‘politics’ generally accepted as being something along the lines of “The art or science of government or governing, especially the governing of a political entity, such as a nation, and the administration and control of its internal and external affairs.”

Or, put another way:

“Politicks is the science of good sense, applied to public affairs, and, as those are forever changing, what is wisdom to-day would be folly and perhaps, ruin to-morrow. Politicks is not a science so properly as a business. It cannot have fixed principles, from which a wise man would never swerve, unless the inconstancy of men’s view of interest and the capriciousness of the tempers could be fixed.” [Fisher Ames (1758–1808)]

I love dictionary.com

Cruises are like Big Macs, while other vacation options are like lovely Prawn Cocktails.

Fixed that for you.

it’s a kind of non-stop multi-player online version of a video game based on untreated Tourette’s syndrome.
Is this available on PC, as well as the Mac version?

Even though I fucked up the tags I’m still going to win this argument and be a hero of the internets.

Even though I fucked up the tags

People on cruises don’t fuck up the tags, they have a crew-member do that for them.

“I’m not saying that everybody who goes for cruise ship vacations is a Bush voter…”

A good friend of mine from several years ago worked for a while on cruise ships as a drummer in the various house bands.

He worked for both the Carnival and Princess lines, which were major players at the time. His major motivations were, he said: OK money, occasionally awesome tips, time off while in port, and lots of blow jobs from bored housewives.

He also described the living and working conditions for the staff, as well as the very strict hierarchy based on who does what (British and Norwegian officers at the very top, Phillippino kitchen slaves at the very bottom).

Based on our discussions I will never set foot on a cruise ship. I just don’t like the odds, from an infectious disease point of view.

But sweet Jeebus, in December I went on a repositioning cruise from Rome to Fort Lauderdale full of Americans, and let me say this:

Yeah, others have touched on this, but dude. A cruise. The very definition of a structured, bogus vacation environment. I’m not surprised in the slightest that your standard issue Annoying American flourished in that environment.

Look, why climb Mt. Everest when you can cruise there? Baffling.

People on cruises don’t fuck up the tags, they have a crew-member do that for them.

Just the kind of condescending elitism I’ve come to expect from cruisies. You cruisies are the Yankee fans of the leisure world. No souls.

Boeing 747: Pool or no pool? Case fucking closed and then beaten into submission with my shuffleboard stick.

Umm, case scraped off the ground, cleaned up and re-opened by Naughty Stewardesses.

Boeing 747: Pool or no pool?

You’ve obviously never flown premium class or you wouldn’t have to ask. Dieter, my personal foot masseur, sips spring water so he can spit at you.

Naughty Stewardesses.

Okay grandpa. Maybe you haven’t noticed a little thing called THE LOVE BOAT? Maybe if you weren’t stuck in 1975 you’d understand that we in the modern era have moved from slap and giggle to real-life drama about adult situations.

You’ve obviously never flown premium class

And here I was thinking that planes have no class. Cutting edge Fat Albert references a little too much for ya? Yeah that’s right.

Naughty Stewardesses.

Okay grandpa. Maybe you’ve been sleeping and haven’t noticed a little thing called THE LOVE BOAT. Maybe if you weren’t stuck in 1975 you’d understand that we in the modern era have moved from slap and giggle to real-life drama about adult situations.

You’ve obviously never flown premium class

Here I was thinking that planes had no class. Take that Rudy! But you might not get that kind of cutting edge stuff.

I took a cruise once, from Vancouver to Alaska.

99.9% of the passengers were Americans – most were loud, obnoxious and large beyond their means. I met one Democrat – a wealthy older gent who claimed to be a friend of Bill Clinton – and two other Canadians while on board. The others (we encountered) were all Republicans. The first night we were seated at a dining table filled with fundie Christian nutjobs weighing between 200 and 400 lbs. From the gaudy interiors to the all-you-can eat mediocre buffets, to the underpaid Filipino staff (who stole shit from my room…) and the massive pollution the ship inflicted on the pristine environment it was all we could do to restrain ourselves from jumping and swimming home. I’ve never felt so ashamed of myself in my life being a part of that ridiculously bloated vessel. I will never ever take another cruise.

DN Nation, thanks for reinforcing my point. Don’t know how you managed to achieve that by missing it, but you did. Hats off to you.

I will never ever take another cruise.

Lesley, it’s the nitty-gritty and earthiness of real-life situations that make travel exciting and cruises, therefore, the most exciting.

Cruise ships are the Zeppelins of Liberal fascism.

Lesley, you’re a hippie enviromentalist nutjob faggot!

Sorry, we’re just not that into you.

ironically – this being a lefty blog and all – this is precisely the attitude citizens of the rest of the world despise in Americans.

Lesly, I was joking. I lurv canadia! I r french-canadian.
Vive le back bacon!

That’s the best you can do? That’s pathetic. Where’s the literary reference, the sly word play, the witty bon mot?

Sheesh, the laziness of the crappy younger troll generation.

The only thing worse than your usual commercial cruise would be an NRO cruise.

Thank you Chris St. James for the undeserved compliment. I hope some day to live up to such an ideal. Alas, I still buy three-ply toilet paper.

drat. fixed. (although used three-ply and the NRO cruise go together like a horse and carriage)

Three-ply toilet paper?

Crap, I’m moving to Canada!

(Lesley, FWIW, I suspect the Iraqis would be much, much happier if the neocons weren’t all that into them. Until the insane kleptocrats are no longer in charge of the government, most countries would be better off being ignored by US foreign policy.)

If 52% of Canadians really think America is the greatest threat to the world than your fellow countrymen are the dumbest people on Earth. America is not the “Great Satan”, America is the Great Santa! We have done more to spread freedom, democracy, capitalism and human rights than any other Nation in the history of the world. Our Military protects the West from the islamic hordes and the Russians and Chinese Empires. Without America’s protection Canada and every other Western Nation would be virtually defenseless! God Bless America the Greatest Nation in the History of Nations!