Shorter James Joyner
Posted on February 5th, 2008 by Brad
- I’ve begun to realize that most of my ideological cohort is completely insane.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.
Note to James: if you want, I can hook you up with the same deprogramming regimen that’s worked wonders for my pals John Cole and the Commissar. Just let me know, but be forewarned that it involves being tied down to a chair, injected with drugs and being forced to watch this over and over and over again:
Welcome to the reality-based community, James.
What took ya?
When Ronald Reagan was elected in 1980 and again in 1984, he did it by putting together a coalition of small government conservatives, social conservatives, and anti-communists. He famously engendered the support of blue collar folks who were dubbed “Reagan Democrats.” Most of that group simply became Reagan Republicans.
Has the country gotten that much less conservative since then?
For one thing, James, ever since the Republican Party regained power with Saint Ronnie Reagan, they’ve made use of every chance they’ve gotten (and they’ve gotten A LOT of chances) to screw that very socioeconomic group over, again and again.
Obviously, the dumber ones will never notice (or care, as long as there is some OTHER group getting screwed over even worse). But those people are now a small minority. And yes, they are crazy.
Well, the whole anti-communist thing has lost some traction there…
It’s not so much that the country got less conservative, the country has different ideas of what it wants. Voters vote for the candidate who offers to give them the most of what they want, however the hell it’s packaged.
Goldberg:
Joyner, in a second post:
The silly stamp, oh, how it stings! You ain’t going out like that, are you, Jonah?
Has the country gotten that much less conservative since then?
Well, just to hazard a guess…you guys won the angry white guy vote by promising to punish women and minorities (by outlawing abortion, doing away with affirmative action and school funding and welfare) and then failed to deliver on just about all of it…the one thing on your promised agenda that did get done (welfare reform) was done by a guy you attacked non-stop for 8 years as the most evil menace since Godzilla threatened Tokyo…and meanwhile, more and more of the angry white guys noticed that they had no job, their taxes were not going down, they couldn’t afford healthcare…and little by little they fell away though some still remain…at the same time, you couldn’t risk losing those few who were still with you, so you continued to ramp up the promises about how you were gonna punish the fags, the non-Christians and so on…virtually guaranteeing that no one other than your die-hard angry white guys would find anything of value on offer by your party.
And seriously, if you didn’t see this coming 10, 15 years ago, doesn’t that just prove that you guys don’t have the foresight or vision to govern?
Of course, after seven years of conservative Gop misrule, the lack of enthusiasm for “conservatism” just might have something to do with . . . seven years of conservative Gop misrule.
Just a hunch.
“Sects and Violence”.
Heh heh, heh heh heh.
So how does one deprogram the likes of a Joyner? What would you put on endless loop and force him to watch with his eyelids taped open?
How about Lisa’s Father?
OK, so we have this McCain-Romney thing, where McCain is not conservative enough. Weird…
Here are issues on which McCain’s record is hands down ideologically more pure than Romney: Abortion, Gay Marriage, Staying in Iraq Forever, More Acceptable Version of Jesus, Balanced Budget, Gun Rights
Here are issues on which both are equally murky: Tax Cuts, Climate Change
Where is the main difference?
McCain is against torture, Romney would double Guantanamo;
McCain has a moderate plan for “illegals” , Romney wants to round up all nannies and dishwashers in 90 days.
It’s all about cruelty on brown people, folks. Surprisingly, the Republican base, turns out, is less sadistic than its main mouthpieces… Who knew?
OK, so we have this McCain-Romney thing, where McCain is not conservative enough. Weird…
Yes, it is, and the blabbering of the neocons is a delight to behold. They are just so scared of everyone, whether it’s Obama, Hillary, McCain…even Romney only survives as the least bad choice for them.
I think McCain’s problem with the right is that he isn’t sufficiently obedient to be a true conservative; he keeps tweaking the base’s nose by sponsoring McCain-Feingold, being moderate on judges, etc. Romney, by contrast, knows the game; when he’s confronted with a particular issue, he’ll simply parrot the conservative opinion, and the Goopers will nod like bobblehead dolls.
I have a nickel bet that if Romney does win the primary, he’ll start easing back towards the center on matters like abortion, gun control, and judges. I hope so, if only because it’ll make Kathryn Jean Lopez sob into her gallon tub of Superberry Chocolate Crunch.
From the comments section over at Joyner’s crib:
“Liberals are innovators? (fifty years of socialistic atheism)”
I somehow missed being a part of this. How was it ?
the rules Jonah has for who can discuss his book, and what they can say, reveal quite a lot.
So how does one deprogram the likes of a Joyner?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a way to fix his beaner?
A flibbertijibbet! A will-o’-the wisp! A clown!
Many a thing you know you’d like to tell him
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make him stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand
So how does one deprogram the likes of a Joyner?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?
Krassen said
It’s all about cruelty on brown people, folks. Surprisingly, the Republican base, turns out, is less sadistic than its main mouthpieces
And they are deeply alienated from the GOP in general.
Joyner commentor:
“I consider myself very conservative but I have been so turned off by the racial hatred and general intolerance of the conservative movement (Savage, Levin, Limbaugh, Coulter, Malkin) and their cadre of bloggers that I have totally abandoned them.”
We live in an age where things are separating out and concentrating. Because of the internet everyone from white supremacists to radical progressives can now find each other, organize and have their voice heard in the larger culture. This is a two edged sword as the above comment shows. Sometimes it isn’t that good of an idea that everyone can see you for who you really are.
These guys have gone so far over the edge with their given pet issues that it’s actually impossible to embrace them all. Abortion. Immigration. War. Budget. Taxes. And a popular constituency actually hurting worse than the Dems. Corn subsidies. Oil company subsidies. Telco and pharma supports.
There’s at least three wings of the Republican party, Theocratic Authoritarian, War Mongering Militarist and Corporatist Plutocrat, and if you try to offer a straight up diet of red meat, you end up looking like a lying idiot, and as somebody here on Sadly put it so well (ask J– for the cite):
Chickens? Meet Roost….
mikey
gbear von trapp just made my day !
“So long, fare well, auf weidersehn, good niiight !”
Tim (the other one) said,
From the comments section over at Joyner’s crib:
“Liberals are innovators? (fifty years of socialistic atheism)”
I somehow missed being a part of this. How was it ?
Me too, I think we were all to busy aborting all the gay womb babies and preparing for Dhimmitude under our islamofascist friends.
I can see Jonah taking the male voice in ‘Sixteen Going On Seventeen’. Remember where that character ended up…
‘Sixteen Going On Seventeen’
Yeah, I went right to that tune too. K-Lo could be Maria in that scene.
Nice visual eh ?
I can’t stand to watch that piece of shit for 5 seconds, let alone that whole video.
Man, I love to watch Bradrocket having fun. Here’s some more uplifting fun, video-style, for those who haven’t seen it:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1760914
(Link didn’t want to work. Meh.)
HumboldtBlue cited a RedState commenter on the chickens and roost thing. That person referred only to the first wing (the evangelicals) of the GOP’s crumbling coalition.
That would be Liesl, the eldest daughter, not Maria.
Sorry, I’m a Broadway queen and I just can’t keep my von Trapp shut.
Hell, Doughy Shitload probably gives more credence to the actions of big business than the general public anyway.
Whoops.
Either way, K-Lo sucks.
Not a broadway queen here, but I did see Mary Martin play Maria in the touring version that came thru St. Paul in the 60’s. That’s the only reason that I even remember TSOM.
Notorious P.A.T. – I feel the same way about it. Watching Bush just sucks the soul right out of you. The video is a pretty amazing sampling of his moronity though. It’s horrid but it winds up making you laugh.
Things fall apart, and in the case of this cynically cobbled beast, the faster the better.
“That would be Liesl, the eldest daughter, not Maria.”
Yeah, I knew I’d screwed that up right after I posted.
I stayed in a house on Fire Island where we took turns reading aloud to each other from Charmian Carr’s autobiography. And lived to tell the tale.
I stayed in a house on Fire Island where we took turns reading aloud to each other from Charmian Carr’s autobiography. And lived to tell the tale.
Goddam it. And I be the women were hot.
And the conversation was scintillating.
I suck.
Fuck….
mikey
Ummm, Fire Island, Mickey. I bet the women were NOT.
Or in the words of Mahablog, “all things that had a beginning will also have an end, including the whackjob Right’s dominance of politics.”
I’m ready for it.
Oh Jeez, so sorry Mikey. I was typing by habit….
Thank you for that video, Smiling Mort.
It was, um, inspiring. And I don’t even like the Black Eyed Peas.
People just get wonderful ideas sometimes. I get wonderful ideas quite often myself, but I don’t make videos of the follow-through.. And there’s my problem, right there, I suppose.
Yaaargh! [dies]
but I don’t make videos of the follow-through..
And this is why you remain a respected member of your community.
And a desirable woman…
mikey
…be forewarned that it involves being tied down to a chair, injected with drugs and being forced to watch this over and over and over again.
What? I was told the process involved gay-marrying an illegal immigrant couple to their livestock with the ceremony funded by George Soros! Now what am I going to do with these extra copies of the Koran?
That would be a hilarious video if it were fiction. As it stands, I can get out a weak and crackly “heh” before the desire to either slash my wrists or throw shit through the walls kicks in. I Can Has Country Back?
gbear, another better still at the end of the greatest team thread.
Now what am I going to do with these extra copies of the Koran?
You don’t really want an answer to that, do you?
Got it, justme. The text on that last one really pops. I could print a huge version of it on the roll printers at work (full length, 30″ high on mylar), but I don’t really want to get fired.
What strikes me from the comments to Joyner’s article is the wingnut’s complete certainty that a Democrat would bring ruin to the country. They seem to be oblivious to our current ruin. This is confirmed by my many exchanges with wingnuts, both in real life and online, in which I ask “How could things get worse?”, and they always respond, without a moment’s hesitation, “Easy, if Hillary/Obama is elected!”.
Granted, there’s not a lot substance to their argument, but make no mistake, they are utterly convinced of it.
Fred Hiatt’s newest lackey, Michael Gerson, posted this crap, Compassionate to the End, a couple of days ago.
But there is nothing to prevent me from waxing nostalgic. Watching the speech, I recalled meeting Gov. Bush of Texas in the spring of 1999, before he was a declared candidate. He talked with rushed intensity about being a “different kind of Republican,” dedicated to racial healing and helping the poor and determined to provide moral leadership as a contrast and corrective to the Clinton years. Because I believed him, I left journalism and joined his campaign.
Today’s New York Times :
Today’s Justice Department seems to have nothing but contempt for those principles. The Bush White House has seemingly never heard of them. Thousands of petitioners for clemency have been waiting for years for a ruling, some since before Bill Clinton left office. Thousands of others have been rejected out of hand, largely because preparing a fair report of what might be said in their favor would take too much time and cost too much money.
What have we learned, people?
~
“Granted, there’s not a lot substance to their argument, but make no mistake, they are utterly convinced of it indeed, this is essential to their point.”
Fixed.
Um, what happened to the strikethrough characters for “they are utterly convinced of it”? Does all our tags belong to the anti-spambot feature?
“the rules Jonah has for who can discuss his book, and what they can say, reveal quite a lot.”
That he even HAS rules for discussing “Liberal Fascism: From the French Revolution to the French Connection” pegs our tired irony meter yet again.
First they destroyed satire, but I did not object, because I wasn’t a satirist. Then they destroyed irony, but I didn’t object, because I use drip-dry. Now, they’re destroying self-awareness, but I know that just doesn’t apply to me.
Now, they’re destroying self-awareness, but I know that just doesn’t apply to me.
Join the picnic, Paddy Mac!
“What have we learned, people?”
It’s gotta be that conservatives are getting trounced because they aren’t *conservative* enough!!
“Has the country gotten that much less conservative since then? In some ways, yes…We’re also much further removed from the days of the military draft, which means fewer of our menfolk have served.”
Menfolk. He actually said menfolk!
That’s both funny and fucked up.
And it tells me all I need to know about the hopeless case of Mr. Joyner.
Menfolk. Sweet Jesus…
When did Der Kommisar take the leap? I was aware of John Cole, but not of the Politburo Diktat.
Good for him!
Surprisingly, the Republican base, turns out, is less sadistic than its main mouthpieces… Who knew?
Or some of Teh Base, the ones whose jobs have been outsourced, whose kids are doing a third tour in Iraq, and whose homes are now being foreclosed, are dimly becoming aware of the fact that their Dear Leaders’ sadistic impulses will not necessarily be confined to brown people, islamofascists and other vaguely-defined terrors from “out there”. Even a sheep may balk at the very door of the slaughterhouse.
Fred Hiatt’s newest lackey, Michael Gerson, posted this crap, Compassionate to the End, a couple of days ago.
Gerson wrote:
That’s true, and it’s time we all recognized Bush’s compassion for the disadvantaged. There are dozens of hard-working cronies and campaign contributors who would have had to forego purchases of much-needed yachts and polo ponies without the tax cuts enacted by this enlightened administration.
Snark aside, judging from this op-ed piece, Gerson is a maggot.
Oh, he’s the frigging speechwriter – that Michael Gerson. Now I know who this jerk is.
Paddy Mac,
As per a thread the other day, “s” shows in preview, but does not post. You have to use the full “strike” tag for it to work. Blame WordPress, the Mein Kampf of Liberal Fascism, which has also eaten my last two posts whole without spitting out bones or anything.
So how did you turn David Brock and Arianna Huffington, Brad?
Any tour that features a half-moonwalking ballet dancing violinist to some sick ass beats I’ll throw down for.
Good video compilation. Scary.