😀

Ok, I just posted this at the end of the last thread, but I will repost here. You are missing the most hilarious piece of international wingnutitude to be unearthed to date. Borat lives and he works for the official state paper of Belarus!

Read this!

http://www.3quarksdaily.com/

Read it!

As the philosopher Rodney King once asked, “Can we all just get along?”

You’re right it is profoundly funny and profoundly tragic depending on your point of view. One thing is for sure, there enough schadenfreude to go around.

You, however, are not funny even with an easy target. Tsk. Tsk.

Why do I have to make an awesome joke simply pointing out what is already the best joke of 2008?

I’m not into overkill.

I’m just here to point out details.

I’m afraid you’re underestimating just how annoying Boston fans are capable of being. How long before they elevate this game to “The Most Painful Day of My Life” status, or some such existential rubbish?

I only realized that the Patriots were a Boston team about two weeks ago, and I’m 34.

Once I realized that, I liked them less. Saux hangover?

You, however, are not funny even with an easy target. Tsk. Tsk.

Yo, Pete!

Maybe this will be more your speed.

I jumped on a bangwagon once, but those already occupying it threw me off. The line was too long anyway.

Jeezis, t4toby, why live in This Great Nation of Ours™ if you don’t even know what’s up? I mean, what’s up w/ that?

It doesn’t matter if you were right about the Super Bowl. Many in-bred, red-headed alcoholics from Natick were wrong.

But where you right for the wrong reasons?

Go Fightin’ Glibertarians!

As the kid who spent most of my school years getting beaten up my the football players, I’ve never been able to give a rat’s ass about pro sports, the Superbowl included. Yeah I’ve got issues. I’ll get over them just as soon as a nation full of potbellied Barcolounger quarterbacks turn off the 52-inch screen and say “Why have I wasted so much of my life watching football?”

Maybe this will be more your speed.

First time they’ve ever given me a laugh.

It doesn’t matter if you were right about the Super Bowl. Many in-bred, red-headed alcoholics from Natick were wrong.

Walter, dude – they just look in-bred.
You gotta get outside of 495 before you’re in Dueling Banjos territory.

Oh fvck. MORE football? That was yesterday. Get over it. Just move on. Jeebus!

The Belarussian endorsements, as I just EPU’d below, are comic gold. Thanks again, pedXing, reading it is surely going to be the high point of my day.

I love me some Flag Football. I’m deadly at WR.

Tackle Football? Not so much. I’m on the outs with pain.

Pro Football? More ambiguously gay than Ace and Gary.

I’d much rather participate in sports than watch overpaid steroid monkeys do things I will never be able to do, that’s all, Mr. Malignant “Wait’ll Next Year” Bouffant, No Wait ‘Til Later This Year, I Mean.

Who’s up for a game?

Uno?

Ungo Bungo?

I’m not sure we came to a consensus upon the proper name.

Oh, right, sports game.
I’d still like the details of how Skip and Reverse work – we’ve got an Uno deck at my house, and a Graffix.

How ’bout Ultimate Frisbee?

Then, after some passage of time, they will adopt all the arguments of those correct prognosticators while still refusing to credit said prognosticators.

Wait. Are you talking about PatRiots fans or GOP fans?

I was going to assert that Ultimate was far superior to both baseball and football, but I fear it would be lost in this crowd of traditinal sports fanatics.

Skip means the person to your left gets skipped, and Reverse means the Graffix gets passed back the direction it came. Either way, dude (or dude-ette) on your left gets left out in the cold.

Draw Four is the jackpot card. Resources determine the use of this card.

The only reason the Patriots lost was because Ross Perot’s independent candidacy siphoned off so many votes from them.

Bongwagon-jumpers.

Nothing, I repeat NOTHING is superior to baseball. 24 days to Spring Training. I want everyone on board !

Earl Butz died. It seems that Sadly, No has no love for the Nixon-Ford Secretary of Agriculture who is most famous for saying:

… the only thing the coloreds are looking for in life are tight pussy, loose shoes and a warm place to shit.

Earl Butz was from Indiana. (It helps to explain why we were so excited about Dan Quayle, who looked quite Churchillian in comparison.)

Is there a limit to the amount of schadenfreude that one can feel before the schadenfreude continuum does a moebius flip and you end up as bad as the worst assholish Patriot fan?

On behalf of the Bush Administration and its corporate cronies, I’d like to thank Sadly, No! for guzzling the Super Bowl-flavored acid-laced Kool-Aid so enthusiastically while we ass-rape the Constitution and America’s future.

Now if Specter will just review the evidence and force the NFL to invalidate the other 3 Super Bowls, penalize Bob Kraft hundreds of millions, and make him give back the rings (including the one that Putin has).

Fuck those cheaters.

… the only thing the coloreds t4toby are is looking for in life are is a tight pussy, loose shoes and a warm place to shit.

I have discovered meaning in life.

Except I like my shoes snug, in case I have to run away from something.

Is this even about the Patriot fans?

With the Pistons, it IS largely about the fans.

But with the Patriots, it’s about the team, the coach, the cheating, the hype, the bullshit.

Tom Brady’s luck ran out and he choked.

Ha ha.

As a former Jets fan, I found it really hard to give a rat’s ass about this game:

If the Giants won, well, it’s the fucking Gay-ants man. Who cares?

If the Patriots won and completed a 19-0 season, well, it’s the Gaytriots, man. Who cares?

And I blow goats too.

Yeah, I like the way Congress gets all tough with the steroids and cheatergate (or whatever its being called).

I’m certain there is nothing else important they could be doing.
COUGHimpeachmentCOUGH

Maybe I just don’t know enough Patriots fans.

Most of the people I know were either keeping quiet, not giving a shit, expressing some support for the Patriots because it would be historic, or jumping up and down and shouting out a “Hell, yeah!” when the Giants won.

I have little experience with obnoxious Patriots fans. I do know a lot of Colts fans who are totally obnoxious assholes, but that’s my family.

“… the only thing the coloreds are looking for in life are tight pussy, loose shoes and a warm place to shit.”

I, for one, welcome our Afro-Overlords !

“Tom Brady’s luck ran out and he choked.”

I think he was choking on the many amounts of turf planted in his face.

Is there a limit to the amount of schadenfreude that one can feel before the schadenfreude continuum does a moebius flip and you end up as bad as the worst assholish Patriot fan?

Not if Notre Dame’s 2007 season has taught us anything!

Is this even about the Patriot fans?

Ooooh yes. Yes it is.

Tom Brady said,

I’d pay to watch that.

Yay! Does this mean we don’t have to watch the “I luv Brady” video anymore, at least until next season?

Ok, I just posted this at the end of the last thread, but I will repost here.

Translation: My off-topicability goes to 11.

This blog is slowly dying.

I am sorry, but this article does not appear to be about Lost. Please remedy this immediately!

Oh, and Doughy Pantload’s magnum crapus has slipped to around #30 on Amazon. Someone better call Focus on the Family, and get them to do another bulk purchase to get it back up!

At the risk of sounding uncaring, and rude, and downright non-american(which I am, so I take the last as compliment):

Can you guys get over the whole “who’s favorite big hairy men won the bumbing-and-leather-ball-holding contest against whose favorite big hairy men thing”, and get back to the more interesting stuff you guys do: Making fun of political opposites and hypocrites. It is more fun to read.

You can do the other stufff on your spare time, I don’t really care.

Ok, I just posted this at the end of the last thread, but I will repost here. You are missing the most hilarious piece of international wingnutitude to be unearthed to date. Borat lives and he works for the official state paper of Belarus!

Read it!

IT’S NOT REAL. It’s supposed to be a joke. Gawd… I figured that out before I finished the first sentence.

I wonder how many Bostonians were saved from the post-victory riots that would have occurred in Boston.

Every Pat’s fan I know has pretty much said the same thing, “Our offensive line was piss, but the Giants played the hell out of that game.”

Where as every Patriots hater has pretty said, “BWAHAHA! The fact that they’ve ONLY won three Superbowls in 7 years (after going to all but, what, one?) and ONLY going 18-1 means the Patriots actually suck and are made of fail!”

So, ya know.

For my money, I stopped caring after Miami won a game. Fuckers. Maybe next year….

It’s the day after the Super Bowl. Pats haters are well within the God-granted window of time dedicated to calling Tom Brady teh gay and to speculate as to the participation in various international corporate conspiracies by Bob Kraft, ESPN, and the NFL.

Some Guy is right.

But, so what?

BWAHAHA! The fact that they’ve ONLY won three Superbowls in 7 years (after going to all but, what, one?) and ONLY going 18-1 means the Patriots actually suck and are made of fail!

(Sounds good to me!)

Totally O/T, but I would hope a Sadly-palooza would include something like this at some wingnut gathering:

Frozen New York

Pedestrian- Thanks, highly infotaining stuff. If MIke Huckabee were to use the slogan “Mike Huckabee has motivated the youth of State Arkansas to go in for sports with unprecedented vigor.” I would consider voting for him.

Tom- Gee, ya think? What gave it away the “Racial Friendliness has increased 56% from an all time low in 1811” line? The interesting thing is that Belarussian satirists are a lot cleverer and funnier than current American satirists (Jon Swift excepted).

I wonder how many Bostonians were saved from the post-victory riots that would have occurred in Boston.

Tom Brady is so swell that he threw the game to save lives.

Can you guys get over the whole “who’s favorite big hairy men won the bumbing-and-leather-ball-holding contest against whose favorite big hairy men thing”, and get back to the more interesting stuff you guys do: Making fun of political opposites and hypocrites.

Um.

Sigh.

To spell out what should be obvious: this is a sharp dig at a certain blogger with whom HTML has rumbled in the not-too-distant past, using an innocuous “big hairy men won the bumbing-and-leather-ball-holding ” cover to jab at said blogger again for his formerly less-than-progressive politics. Let’s just say his name rhymes with “Da Shmeditors.” I even dare say HTML might even consider this a prime example of “making fun of hypocrites.”

Alls I know is I’m poppin’ some popcorn and waiting to see if we get part 2 of the internecine blogwar known to historians as the “Vidal skirmish”.

This post was actually more about politics than football.

But that’s okay.

Please read and discuss every word of Super Bowl coverage you can.

The lies of the 9/11 Commission can wait. Nothing urgent. Carry on.

Now look what you all have gone and done.

Philip Zelikow: Please read and discuss every word of Super Bowl coverage you can.

The lies of the 9/11 Commission can wait. Nothing urgent. Carry on.

Because if people aren’t talking about what you want them to be talking about, well…

Let’s just say that nothing good can come of *that*.

Is this a sports blog now?

This from 3quarks is comedy gold

we have saying: “Who makes sport, he has ‘Olympic-sized’ appetite.” What about Huckabee? Would he not eat a pig’s foot in aspic after making daily sport routine? Would he not spread goose fat on his craquelins, not even “on a lark”?

3 more baby whales died while we were discussing the Super Bowl.

There are no parallels between the steroid-enhanced, beer-fueled, corporatist, belligerent groupthink us-against-them macho bullshit bread and circuses of the Super Bowl and the utter degradation of the U.S. under the Bush administration. None at all. Celebrate!

The lies of the 9/11 Commission can wait. Nothing urgent. Carry on.

Well, yea! Of course they can! Are they going somewhere, Phil?

IT’S NOT REAL. It’s supposed to be a joke. Gawd… I figured that out before I finished the first sentence.

As far as I can ascertain, it is real, it is just a hilariously bad mistranslation of a hack propoganda paper. 3quarksdaily is high brow stuff – they don’t do comedy. Of course, I can’t translate it myself, so I don’t know for sure.

Eh… I hang my head in shame:

Educated readers will know that Borat was but a recycling of themes from Montesquieu’s Persian Letters, that the figure of an oriental naïf commenting on Western ways is a rich and inexhaustible source of satire, and that anyway I’ve been doing this schtick much longer than Baron-Cohen.

It was just too good.

I suppose I can come out of the closet now. I’m a big football fan. Of course, football is played on Saturdays.

This from the Centre Daily Times, State College, PA (home of Penn State)

It was a game for the ages, and today everyone’s talking about it.
And perhaps, too, they’re talking about Jimmy Johnson’s comments afterward, and how he lost in the desert a couple of decades ago to some team from Pennsylvania.
Haunted by the Fiesta Bowl, is he? Penn Staters still watching no doubt noticed, as did bloggers.

Heh heh heh. Hearing that reminds of how the Nits made Vinnie Testaverde cry. Really. It was so sweet.

his is a sharp dig at a certain blogger with whom HTML has rumbled in the not-too-distant past

That’s all very well until things get out of hand and a minor provocation escalates to full-on Kitten War.
HTML Mencken is the Gavrilo Princip of liberal fascism.

Since I feel for pedestrian here’s a list of Ukrainian vocations in authentically butchered English:

http://education.gov.ua/pls/edu/educ.chr_vti_specialities_eng.show

I think I’ve posted it here before but I never tire of “Collector of top of footwear”.

Thanks Bubba, that did make me feel a little better.

I especially enjoyed:
The seller from a tray (in the market)

As opposed to the seller from the tray in the alley, which is a whole different major.

Facing worker with thin slab

Ahh, I remember the days of having a thin slab.

Getting old suXXors!

Younger medical sister of a caring of the patients
hawt.

Better me than the Forcemeat Maker.

“Wilson’s racism, his ideological rigidity, and his antipathy toward the Constitution were all products of the progressive worldview”. — Doughy Pantload

Once you’ve tasted some authentically butchered English, there’s no going back to the soul-less, tasteless, automatically-butchered stuff.
Have it for breakfast with a fresh baguette! Or in the evening with micro-brewed beer!

I met Earl Butz at a private Republican fundraiser at his home in northern Indiana about 12 years ago. I was there as a driver for the Candidate who was the subject of the fundraiser (recruited to the campaign by a law school friend, this was a couple years before the Clinton impeachment started my journey toward political awareness).

On the drive up, the Candidate warned me old Earl could be “off-color” sometimes.

The Butz house set back off the road a bit on a large sparsely treed lot. The inside was kinda sterile and lifeless – white walls, white carpet, a white stone fireplace, lots of crystal and chrome. It was a cloudy afternoon and the grey light through the windows leeched what little color was left. Well dressed old guys and ladies, the regional Repub bigwigs, milled around, snacking on vaguely tasteless finger food and making small talk.

Then old Earl took a chair by the fireplace. The crowd drew up around him as if he were holding court. Earl started out with some reminiscing about the Nixon administration. Then he spoke more generally about politics, his patter garnished with the occasional racial or scatological comment. The crowd responded with titters and nodding approval.

It became apparent that the politically incorrect comments were old Earl’s signature. He took a certain pride in being an anachronism. Earl’s shtick was straight out of some long forgotten Lions Club smoker where he cut his political teeth decades before. But in the cold light of that afternoon, the whole thing was just morbid and macabre.

I’m just glad I’m not:

Cleaner of trousers of Goldberg when discovers Obama posters political
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/2/4/16547/50897/833/449692

Did I miss something? This is about politics? I’m lost. I need the Cliffs Notes. Or the Clif Notes. Or a Clif Bar. Something cliff-related.

Has anyone seen Bill Simmons lately?

Oh, wait. I found him hiding under a cactus. With a sticker up his butt.

pedestrian said,
Eh… I hang my head in shame:
Face it, you were ♙ed.

Heh heh heh. Hearing that reminds of how the Nits made Vinnie Testaverde cry. Really. It was so sweet.

*grumble* *grumble* *spit*

That was my freshman year at The U, and I remember thinking “this may have been our one shot, we may never be this close to the title again.”

Of course, we won it all the next year. And again my senior year. And two more after that. How many championships have the Pennsyltuckians won since then…?

(PS — Jeff Feagles of the ’86 Canes just won a Super Bowl ring.)

It doesn’t matter if you were right about the Super Bowl. Many in-bred, red-headed alcoholics from Natick were wrong.

Walter, dude – they just look in-bred.
You gotta get outside of 495 before you’re in Dueling Banjos territory.
—

Wrentham … Central Falls, Rhode Island.

need I say more …

Why can’t HTML and The Editors all just get along?

Oh, and that Belarussian thing? Parody, obviously. If this sort of thing didn’t make it clear enough for you…

the Christian retail-store magnate and “healthy life-style” advocate Mike Huckabee, whose business practices were subjected to critique already in American independent cinema production “I Heart Huckabee” (2005);

… then perhaps the feckin’ by-line of one Justin Smith might have been the crucial clue.

Apparently the Yankee fans have totally forgotten 2004. What was suppose to be a deep wound that would bleed for years was just a cat scratch.

Same with the Patriots. You peeps have no idea what Bellichick has in store for you in 2008. He’s going Nukular.