Yeah, that wouldn’t be dismissed as calculated pandering, no way. Just like this seemed so very natural…

I’m trying out html linking here. It probably won’t work. I have the tech skills of Ted Stevens.

It didn’t work, of course. Sorry.

“Muss his hair?” “Don a flannel shirt?” His prose sounds cribbed from some kind of 1930’s children’s story.

I suppose it’s better than yet another duck hunt to show that you’re manly enough to shoot something.

Yeah, my Grandma used to say her hair got all mussed up by the wind.

She died 11 years ago at 78.

Put on a helmet and ride around in a tank?

Didn’t this same group savage Al Gore in 2000 when he appeared in a flannel shirt?

“Calculating”

“Focus-grouped”

“Crafted”

Have a bracer then paste some newsie in the mush?

” . . . go dig a hole somewhere.”

Preferably not anywhere in the US. We’ve had quite enough of that for the past eight years, thank you very fucking much!

And don’t forget to put on his asshat.

With that hair, I don’t think he really needs the helmet. But the riding around in a tank part sounds like a great idea. Perhaps in Mosul? I’ve heard we have a lot of tanks in Mosul.

He’s right. I’ve been saying all along that Romney should be more like Kurt Cobain, despite his completely “Carpenters” vibe.

As a UCLA alum, I am just horribly embarrased every time he puts word to internets. Sorry people!

I hope he digs it to the 22nd century. He’ll certainly have enough free time come November.

Fake authenticity! Works every time.

On a slightly related note, Ben may have a point. Repubs want to vote for a guy they can have a beer with, not a glass of postum. And they don’t want him to cuss in public, but they do want him to cuss in private.

Poor Mitt never had a chance!

Maybe if he were to shoot some flightless quail, or perhaps an old man …

McCain is so old, he might not even live until the election! Mitt gets the nomination by default! Well, they could nominate Huckabee I s’pose. /smirk

Mitt ought to chew some tobacky, just in case, to raise his trailer-park cred.

perhaps some earth tones would be in order?

What’s the big deal, GOPers? Mittens has been a hunter all his life. He’s totally ALWAYS been a killer of varmints and what have you. His bona fides of being totally 100% musky and heterosexual shouldn’t be in doubt.

Now Huckleberry – he appears to embody some traditionally feminine /fascist values, like health consciousness and not tossing the poor into giant incinerators. You probably have something to worry about there.

McCain – he says he opposes torture. Keep an eye on that one.

…and I think he ought to try to dig that hole this weekend somewhere in the non-coastal MA countryside (does MA even have countryside? I’m in frozen flyover land). He can bring a blowtorch to thaw out the ground. That will get him even more points for fake butchitude.

Ben can play Helium to Malkin’s Strindberg in The Jamil Hussein Story.
.

This is where you should have proofread your own title.

I bet ol’ Freddie’s red pick-em-up truck is just gathering dust and eager for someone to drive it.

…go dig a hole somewhere.

Totally unnecessary. All he has to do is stand still and his poll numbers will make the crater for him.

“…Should Written…”?

Oh dear.

When you reach the bottom, keep digging.

You can’t count Mitt “Baha Man” Romney out! Sure, it may look like he’s running away from a fight with a penniless, cranky old man who’s hated by his own party, but Romney still has time to let the dogs out on him…

McCain’s so old he’s not even a baby boomer! Will the country REALLY elect a man from before the generation of the last two presidents (and 16 years)? I mean he was born during the Great Depression for christ’s sakes, yet he’s NOT even a member of the so-called “Greatest Generation.” But McCain does represent change — but change within the Republican Party as it struggles from the collapse of its fucked up alliance. It remains to be seen how dedicated the crazies would be in voting to deny Clinton the presidency (and hopefully we won’t have to find out), but even at that, there’s no real reason why McCain should be the next president.

As for Ben’s advice for Romney. What do you expect? This is the party that’s all about perception. Image is everything, even, nay especially, if its totally contrived bullshit. Whatever they think will fool the yokels. Hasn’t Ben seen Mitt shoveling snow at a his ski mountain retreat? Isn’t that phony enough for him? There’s a good reason why Mitt looks like he’d be more comfortable on a yatch than at a horseshoe toss: he has more experience on them.

“Unless Romney brings out his rustic – and personable – side now, McCain will be the only Republican left standing, period.”

Romney, rustic ? Maybe he should wear overalls and carry a pitchfork and dead skunk to his rallies and media appearances. That’ll tell the world what a trustworthy, likable man he is.

It should be fun to watch the wingnuts’ rationalizations for their newfound support of John McCain after shitting all over him.

that is too funny I can’t even snark it.

grab a photographer and go dig a hole
I find that using a shovel gives better results.

Bush used the sleeves up approach in 2000 and 2004. I don’t think posing as a phoney good ol’ boy/working man’s friend is going to fool anybody this go round.

He needs to muss his hair, don a flannel shirt and a pair of jeans, grab a photographer and go dig a hole somewhere.

Yes! And have loudspeakers blast Romney’s new theme song, the original slightly altered:

From a pink-skinned Yankee to a blue-black Southerner
Ditch digger and governor,
Just do what ya like
Look how ya like

Only Mitt can dig a hole to China.

please don’t grab him in the biscuits, though.

I don’t think posing as a phoney good ol’ boy/working man’s friend is going to fool anybody this go round.

Of course it would…but only if the average repub voter could look at the Mittster and not think “Whatta pussy!” They ran out of faux manly heroes this cycle. All they’ve got left is a genuine (albeit crazy) hero, a clean living CEO, and a real bible thumper.

Forgive me but….Bwahahahahahahaha!

Benny’s now dabbling in virgin real estate:

http://www.goodwinprocter.com/People/Shapiro%20-%20Benjamin.aspx

And somebody’s tousled his face.

I suspect Tim Gunn.

http://www.benjaminshapiro.com/book.html

Is Shapiro making some kind of oblique reference to Schwarzenegger? I have a vague recollection of some phony excavation photo-op from around the time of the recall referendum. Or am I thinking too much on his behalf?

Remember Lamar Alexander & his red flannel shirt? That took him all the way to oblivion.

ooh, ben shapiro as a greasy little associate in a big law firm. that’s just scary. law firms offer the perfect medium for self-important ass-kissing scum to flourish. I hope he is the butt of many practical jokes by fellow associates with attitude problems (I was once one of those).

the firm used to be called goodwin protor and hoar.

I should say — goodwin proctor and hoar.

In case anyone was wondering:

Ben Shapiro, 23, is a graduate of UCLA and Harvard Law School. In “Brainwashed: How Universities Indoctrinate America’s Youth,” Ben shows how students are duped into becoming socialists, atheists, race-baiters and narcissists. His latest book is “Project President: Bad Hair and Botox on the Road to the White House.”

That book sounds almost as good as Liberal Fascism: blah blah blah. Think it’ll be out by election day?

sophie brown: and he’s in the Real Estate practice. I would never tire of shouting “coffee is for closers!” while passing his office.

Aren’t these the same guys who derided John Kerry for going goose-hunting? (even though Kerry actually is a hunter?)

I meant to write: Slip on a condom and drill a hole in me.

McCain is so old, he might not even live until the election! Mitt gets the nomination by default! Well, they could nominate Huckabee I s’pose. /smirk

Don’t laugh, I’m tellin ya!!!!

1) McCain names Huckabee (who has sucked up to him all election) as his running mate to win evangelical voters.

2) McCain dies after a month as president.

3) Huckabee serves out the rest of Mac’s term, then two of his own.

*Warily eyes distance to Canada*

[quote]He’s right. I’ve been saying all along that Romney should be more like Kurt Cobain, despite his completely “Carpenters” vibe.[/quote]

I thought he should be more like Kurt Cobain, too!

In that he should blow off his head with a shotgun.

Ben shows how students are duped into becoming socialists, atheists, race-baiters and narcissists.
I honestly thought I was joining the Beer Club. Should have been suspicious when they asked me to sign in blood.

Duped into becoming narcissists? I teach at a university and believe me, a lot of ’em don’t need any duping …

Dig a hole?

Really?

I mean, no shit?

Does this little snot know that’s the secondary job of an infantry grunt?

You hump ruck all day.

Then you dig a hole.

And the next day? Oh yeah. Same same shit. Number ten.

After sleeping in your shitty, muddy little hole all night?

Saddle up all your shit and hump all day.

That night? Well, you get the picture Ben.

Night ambush or Lima Papa for your stupid fucking ass…

mikey

He’s right. I’ve been saying all along that Romney should be more like Kurt Cobain, despite his completely “Carpenters” vibe.

What a great line. Sometimes I just have to sit back in awe.

J— said
“Is Shapiro making some kind of oblique reference to Schwarzenegger?”

Yeah, I think he may be. Arnie famously went out and filled in a pot hole during his campaign to demonstrate how he was going to fix things for California. If I remember right a crew came out before the shoot and dug the hole first or something like that. Which is says it all really.

Thanks, noen. That pothole part helped me seek out the incident through the Great Gazoogle. My memory wasn’t too good. It wasn’t during the recall campaign, and it wasn’t dirt, as I had thought. And no flannel shirt!

I think he’s referring to Edwards’ various photo ops, including his announcement of his candidacy:

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,239479,00.html

And here’s a stunning bit of news from his book blurb:

“John Kerry’s election losing coif”

Ben Dover? Sorry, it’s all I’ve got.

And thanks for the laugh, Smut. I now have an image of Slick Mitt grabbing a photographer and sticking the poor bugger head-first into the soil.

I’d blow him.

No, seriously, I would, he’s grown up to be the dorky kind of guy I’m attracted to.

He can’t talk except to say “I’m coming! I’m coming NOW!” though.

D’ya think that Ben used Elle Woods as a role model for going from UCLA to Harvard Law? Is he practicing law somewhere? Just curious.

Jimmy Conway: What’s the fuckin’ matter with you? What – what is the fuckin’ matter with you? What are you, stupid or what? Tommy, Tommy, I’m kidding with you. What the fuck are you doin’? What are you, a fuckin’ sick maniac?
Tommy DeVito: How am I meant to know you’re kidding? What you mean, you’re kidding? You breaking my fuckin’ balls?
Jimmy Conway: I’m fuckin’ kidding with you! You fuckin’ shoot the guy?
Henry Hill: He’s dead.
Tommy DeVito: Good shot. What do you want from me? Good shot. Fuckin’ rat anyway. His family’s all rats. He’ll grow up to be a rat.
Jimmy Conway: You stupid bastard, I can’t fuckin’ believe you. Now, you’re gonna dig the fuckin’ thing now. You’re gonna dig the hole. You’re gonna do it. I got no fuckin’ lime. You’re gonna do it.
Tommy DeVito: Who the fuck cares? I’ll dig the fuckin’ hole. I don’t give a fuck. What is it, the first hole I dug? Not the first time I dug a hole. I’ll fuckin’ dig a hole. Where are the shovels?

He needs to muss his hair, don a flannel shirt and a pair of jeans, grab a photographer and go dig a hole somewhere.

You mean like when John Kerry was photographed with a shotgun?

Pitchfork Ben Shapiro doesn’t know the first rule of holes.

However Willard might as well dig that hole. When your dog shi*s himself to death you’ve got to put him somewhere. . . .

I think he should get himself a Mini-Mitt and go around the country and show us how he’s the only candidate standing up for the ‘little man.’ Oh, and brooms to show how he is going to ‘clean up Washington.’ Instead of change, he should be the reform candidate. That’s the ticket.

I’ll add that Mittens should strap on a Hairy Chest Wig to complete the Bear ensemble. The closeted GOPers will go MAD with Mitt-love over that.

The guy on the Brawny Paper Towel wrapper will have NOTHING on him!

–mf

Ben needs Amanada Hungginkis