Shorter David Broder

It Could Be McCain vs. Obama*


  • Sprooooing! Uh, please excuse that awkward bulge that just appeared in my pants…

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.

*Yeah, I know the column is really titled “A Matchup Starts to Take Shape,” but “It Could Be McCain vs. Obama” is how it was billed on WaPo’s front page and it suits the shorter’s comedic purposes better.


Comments: 39


Actually, I prefer, “A Matchup Begins to Take Shape . . . In My Pants.”


@ arithmoquine: Touche.


please excuse that awkward bulge that just appeared in my pants

in a foreign and hostile land.


Give me back my glasses!

Buddhist with an attitude

“@ arithmoquine: Touche.”



A picture of that face attached to the allusion to his twig and berries would surely prove to be the perfect augmentation to any abstinence education course.

Trilateral Chairman



As Broder columns go, this one doesn’t have near teh stoopid that he usually displays. Of course John “Maverick” McCain is exactly the kind of political hack David Broder swoons over, but I suspect he likes a lot of Obama’s rhetoric, if only because it appeals to his phony sense of bipartisanship. And of course, it saves him from feeling emasculated by Hillary Clinton.

Here’s hoping that Obama wins, and we can be spared Broder’s Clinton affliction.


No way, Andropov, you commie bastard! They’re mine!


Broder lets his insiderism and elitism hang out in this one. It ain’t about the voters; it’s about the endorsers.


So, is Broder turning his back on Bloomberg/Unity08?


I really didn’t need to see that asshole’s face this early in the morning.


Isn’t Broder’s time up yet?


David Broder, David Brooks, David Brent. Coincidence?


I think you mean this dead man.


Isn’t that Will Ferrel?


He suggests Huckabee as VP and “president-in-waiting”! WTF?


No, but Farrel did do a spoof of him once.


I had a ribeye at Harry Caray’s downtown not too long ago. Al forno. Molto delicioso!


Broder lets his insiderism and elitism hang out in this one.

That’s not all he lets hang out… *prepares to duck flying tomatoes*

Arky - Chuthuhlusexual

At the risk of being labeled a Lookist Liberal.



Mine are bigger. That’s why Diana Ross is my girlfriend.


Back, imperialist pigs! They’re mine!


I know they’re not mine, ’cause mine have a gold frame. ¡Viva la Revolución!


They are mine, you curs! I could have you all shot for this foolishness.


My cyborg body has the best ones. Heh. Indeed.


Do I have the best glasses? Boy howdy, I guess!

Richard Bruce Cheney

Anyone who doesn’t like my glasses can go f*ck themselves with my shotgun!


Hiya, guys and gals!

I just want to let everyone know that I’m completely cool with my good friend David’s (love ya Dave! love ya!) choice of eyewear. Besides, I got my own. And I get my own, too, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. My specs are total chick magnets.


So, Broder mostly quotes Broder. What a surprise.

And am I the only one, or does he look a little too much like Larry David?


And am I the only one, or does he look a little too much like Larry David?

With even less hair.


I think you mean this dead man.

The goggles! They do nothing!


Does anybody else think John McCain is 2008’s Bob Dole? We all remember how well that worked out for the Republicans. Go, Aged Veteran Candidate!


Man, this is the worst thing EVER, and I can’t believe people don’t see it that way.

McCain is, in terms of electability, the strongest candidate the Republicans have. If McCain wins, and runs against a democrat, it would be a disaster.

John McCain has the “maverick” status needed to separate him from the Bush people, so he can get the attention of disaffected Republicans, and all the people that feel 8 years of Bush have ruined the country (basically, everybody).

AND McCain is the only one of the candidates that can extend a very strong appeal to moderates. Look at all the middle of the road people flocking to him: the Governator, Joe Lieberman…he can project an image of safe centrism friendly to Independents. He’s the only one of the Republicans in the primary that can do this.

He also has experience and name recognition Obama doesn’t have.



I’ve considered all of those things as well, and while McCain is their best candidate, he’s terribly flawed. A match up against Obama would offer a stark contrast in choice that isn’t as apparent if you sub in Clinton.

Its true that it won’t be possible to paint John McCain as Dubya Returns, but his position on the war is a ridiculous, unpopular gamble whose downside will materialize as time goes on. Keep in mind, the surge can only logistically last until August, after that, then what’s he going to do? Help Bush beg for another six months or a year? All this, after likely 4,000 Americans will have died in the effort?

John McCain’s “maverick” status is severely tarnished, and can be easily attacked. Conservative turn out is questionable, especially given the immigration debacle. The sheer amount of time he’s languished in the senate is more of a liability than an advantage. He’s the consummate insider with a strong tinge of “its my turn.”

Name recognition is a knife cuts both ways. A lot of people recognize the name Clinton, and not for the best reasons. The big question is the differential between their hatred for Hillary Clinton and their hatred for John McCain big enough for them to vote for him? It may not be, because at least she’s the opposition and not the party traitor they consider him to be.

Plus, as I’ve said in another post, he’s not even a baby boomer. Is the country really going to elect a man from before the generation of the last two presidents?

Smiling Mortician

Those are my glasses, and if you don’t give them back I’ll shoot you in the stomach without even realizing it.

Smiling Mortician

Ah, hell. Link worked in preview.


The glasses grow stronger each time they drain the life from a human host. Are they getting bigger?… or is Broder’s head shrinking? … or both ?
[cue Twilight Zone music].


(comments are closed)