Thomas Sowell: The Black Larry King

Larry King’s News & Views, spoofed by Norm McDonald during his SNL days, has to rank as one of the dumbest features in American journalism history. (A close second being anything by Art Buchwald.) Having run out of ideas and kidneys, Thomas Sowell finds himself having to pull a King, offering award-winning non-sequiturs such as:

If walking is good for your health, then Barry Bonds must be the healthiest ballplayer of all time.

Below are 6 additional statements. 3 are from Thomas, 3 are from Yosef. Can you tell the difference?

  • One of the many problems with envy is that you have no real way of knowing that someone is more fortunate than you until you are both at the end of your lives — and then it is too late.
  • Temper’s the one thing you can’t get rid of by losing it.
  • Why would anyone buy anything from a company that is inconsiderate enough to plant pop-up ads in their computer? Anything these ads are selling can be bought from somebody else.
  • What’s the deal with airline peanuts?
  • It is a shame that the broadcast networks did not provide gavel-to-gavel coverage of the Democratic convention, the way C-SPAN did. If the public had seen the parade of weirdos and hustlers on stage, it would have given a far clearer picture of the Democratic Party than any of the party’s official pronouncements gave.
  • Ovaltine: Have you ever had this stuff?
  • Comments: 10


    Am I allowed to guess?


    I think Yosef made the remarks about the airline peanuts, the Ovaltine, and the popup ads. But I could be wrong,since Yosef and Thomas sound so much alike (they probably share a kidney).

    Oh, and here’s a Jack Handey Deep Thought to compare to both Yosef’s and Thomas’s words o’ wisdom:

    “Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.”


    Did he crib these from Reader’s Digest? Laughter, The Best Medicine, maybe?


    Wait. You mean that Yosef and Sowell are different people?


    That’s right Ted, but we are similar. Basically, I’m the white black Larry King.


    So just for the sake of clarity:

    You’re the black bearded mountaineer Larry King.

    Yosef, you must be a hit with the ladies. Do the suspenders help?


    Ted- I’m the white black bearded mountaineer Larry King. The ladies love me so much I’m thinking about changing my name to LL Cool Y.


    I have absolutely no symptahy for people who commit arson.


    I dunno about who said what, but am absolutely down with the comment about pop-ups. Boo hiss, death to pop-ups, especially the latest kind that sort of float on the page and don’t have a separate page box opened so you can kill them. Boo hiss SPIT on floaters.


    Isn’t one of those by Bania??


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