Shorter Michelle Malkin
Posted on January 29th, 2008 by Brad
Stimulation-palooza: Why are we extending unemployment benefits?
- Nope, I’m not even gonna pretend to give a shit about people anymore.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.
Effin’ anchor babies!
I wouldn’t fuck her with Gary Ruppert’s dick.
The House will vote later today on its borrow-and-spend rebate deal.
Wait a minute, so when it’s not for starting a war for no reason, you’re against borrow-and-spend?
Dude, nobody showed up for my acceptance speech. Can you award the chit now?
http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/8594.html#comments
Is this some new species of planaria named “Michelle Malkin?” And what is it doing on FOX News?
Even shorter Michelle Malkin: soup is good food.
Wingnuts aren’t Racists part eleventy-two:
From Michelle’s comments:
Why are we extending unemployment benefits?
Because the malt liquor and dog-racing industries need stimulation too?
A program intended to be a safety net has become an excuse for people to remain unemployed once they lose a job by discouraging job search activities until benefits are almost exhausted.
I could say the same thing about wingnut welfare.
Good “shorter”. Nice and short and to the essential point of Malkin’s bile.
Be even shorter if you dropped the “Nope.”
This is just more coddling for the shiftless and lazy. I say that once your 26 weeks of unemployment are up we send some “contractors” around to put a bullet in your head. Sure, it will cost more than the extended benefits would to have the hit done, but we’re talking about principles here.
Without our principles we’ll never win the war on terra.
Hmmm, no, that is a bit harsh. White Republicans get a two weeks grace period, then the bullet.
Holy crap, I don’t usually go over and read that bilge, just enjoy the thrashings over here. Today, I made the mistake of checking it out.
I liked the guy who thought it was great because he’s paid into the fund for a whopping three years and wants his money back. He votes GOP?
Did you catch the right sidebar item about Kopechne? Like this twit was even around then.
That’s probably one of the most lowbrow pages I’ve ever seen. Her base must be way out on the left side of the curve. Way out on the left.
Republicans STILL aren’t bigots:
“We had a very good example of what people do with “free” g-ment money a couple of years ago. Remember the $2,000 checks for Katrina folks? It was not pretty but I guess certain things did get stimulated…”
I like how people who don’t have actual jobs (you know, meaningful, productive employment that actual adds to the the workings of society) bitching about those lazy welfare lampreys.
It’s also pretty funny to read all the comments revealing that the commenters know fuck-all with respect to how unemployment benefits work. It must be an amazing feeling to feel completely unrestrained to post and post without considering even for a moment: “hey, maybe I should educate myself about this topic before rambling on and on about it.”
Get edumicated first? That’s just crazy talk…
What? You’ve never had adversarial sex before?
You obviously don’t know what you are missing. It’s like make-up sex but with way more dirty talk and ass slapping.
It’s also pretty funny to read all the comments revealing that the commenters know fuck-all with respect to how unemployment benefits work.
May they all become intimately acquainted with the process, starting with Malkin.
“t4toby said,
January 29, 2008 at 23:20
I wouldn’t fuck her with Gary Ruppert’s dick.
What? You’ve never had adversarial sex before?
You obviously don’t know what you are missing. It’s like make-up sex but with way more dirty talk and ass slapping.”
Kinda like the sex scene in ‘Mr. and Mrs. Smith’. You know, the one after they shoot up their house? Awwww, yeah, baby!
Hey, c’mon now. Those of us in Marketing can be kinda sensitive…
mikey
I wouldn’t fuck her with Gary Ruppert’s dick.
You’re giving Gary wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too much credit for having one.
Michelle, did you ask Jessie about how he feels about you wanting to end his unemployment benefits?
You obviously don’t know what you are missing. It’s like make-up sex but with way more dirty talk and ass slapping.
I’d say “smack her face” but how would you know the difference?
I’d know, actor, I’d know.
t4toby said,
“What? You’ve never had adversarial sex before?”
After 20 years of marriage, that’s about all my wife and I have left.
[updated pic, btw]
Ouch!
mikey, you’re a salesman?
What the hell is that picture behind her?
Like George W.’s fabulously appropriate “escaping horse thief” painting, it must have some personal significance.
I see an alien life form about to ingest a rubber chicken.
It’s Goya’s “Saturn Devouring one of his Children.” Perfect.
What is it with human beings that some of us would rather drag everyone down than help everyone up?
Yeah, nice touch with the Goya. His work complements wingnuttery well. “The Colossus” and his sketches immediately come to mind.
It’s Goya’s ‘Saturn Devouring His Son’…
[grinning]
It’s the reptile brain. Responsible for 99.99% of all ills.
Some people just never evolve past that stage of development.
So that Goya is a photoshopped feature? Or is irony really that dead?
It’s also pretty funny to read all the comments revealing that the commenters know fuck-all with respect to how unemployment benefits work.
My sentiments exactly. But deciding that being on unemployment is, in fact, a year-long paid vacation during which you have nothing to worry about is, indeed, central to their point.
tig! Jeebus I wuz only tryin to stimulate some nastiness – I had no idea I was onto something. Jayzus effin keerist on a crutch. It is just TOO perfect.
I’d know, actor, I’d know.
Oh, of course! If you hit teeth, you’re spanking her ass!
I’m not sure there’s a spot on here that you wouldn’t hit teeth…Or at least gums.
I bow deeply before Gavin’s immense talent Bravo sir, bravo!
Were you inspired by the recent horse thief flapdoodle?
I’m with PeeJ. The subtlety is key.
It’s also pretty funny to read all the comments revealing that the commenters know fuck-all with respect to how unemployment benefits work.
As you know, conservatives create their own reality now. Facts just get in the way- and are biased, to boot.
Yeah, I was going to say that Goya painting added a nice touch, but looks like a few people beat me to it. That painting is featured on the cover of one of my favorite books of snarky cynicism: The Human Race Stinks
If Malkin’s commenters’ all have jobs, where do they work? Who would employ them?
Meanwhile, the very things Michelle is getting all whiny about are likely to offer the most bang for the stimulus buck. Michelle Malkin on the exact opposite side of correctness? That’s unpossible!
Wow, as if we didn’t know it already, John Lott is full of it. He claims that Dems never “advocated” extension of unemployment benefits in under Clinton. I doubt that’s true, but even if it were, since there was no recession under Clinton, there was no need for a stimulus package.
Plus, Congress did pass an extension in 2002, and reauthorized it again twice in 2003, when there was a recession. Odd that Republicans (including Bush) would vote to prolong the recession, if that is what extensions are supposed to do.
[Goya’s] work complements wingnuttery well. “The Colossus” and his sketches immediately come to mind.
I recommend his “Dog regretting over-extended mortgage”.
Why, yes, I do have the t-shirt.
“What? You’ve never had adversarial sex before?”
That’s alright until you encounter one of those biassed, activist judges.
“Objection, your honour! The prosecution is ignoring the G-spot!”
“Objection over-ruled. This court does not cling to out-dated doctrines of simultaneous orgasm. Prosecution may proceed with the money shot.”
Alarming. Amusing. Accurate.
Damn it! I thought it was a picture of an American eagle wrapped in a flag. I liked the way the “beak” was aimed at her ear because it made me think of the dove in some paintings of the Annunciation. There was a whole “Our Lady of Perpetual Outrage,” vibe.
But now I know that was just me, needing to find my glases.
Wait, here they be.
Well shit, now I just get a better view of the Giant Planaria.
Here’s a timely one. It’s called “Republican candidates call each other ‘liberal.'”
Can we top that? Yes we can!
Goya’s “Straw Man Argument” (El Pelele).
Ok, I don’t know from Goya, but it makes me wonder if he had something to do with that whole goatse thingie…
mikey
Ok, I don’t know from Goya, but it makes me wonder if he had something to do with that whole goatse thingie…
Maybe.
I haven’t read this “Unhinged” book that seems to appear under her wild eyes during every teevee appearance. Is it an autobiography?
Brad wrote:
Nope, I’m not even gonna pretend to give a shit about people anymore.
Oh, come on, Brad. You mailed this one in.
I’d be truly shocked if the Unhinged One ever gave a shit about any one in the first place.
What if the wingnuts decided to cross-breed? Malkin has the love-child of the Doughty Pantload, Hugh Hewitt knocks up Pam Gellar–it could bring the crazy to a whole new level.
Must..remove…image…from…brain……
OK, how about the small reproduction of “Starry Night” to the left of Malkin’s head? Is that in the original, or another of Gavin’s enhancements?
Note that Malkin refers to extending unemployment benefits as a “lard-up.” I’d like to introduce MM to a friend of mine, currently skimping by on unemployment and worrying about her job search and when her benefits end. Dr. X here has four college degrees, including three graduate degrees, from high-ranking universities, and a resume of such brilliance as to make one’s eyes pop out. However, since Dr. X would swiftly reduce MM to a grease spot, I’ll pass. Both women live in Montgomery County (Md.), so the police would thank me for saving them the paperwork.