Come see me act!!!

Attn: Boston-area sadlynauts:

I will be playing the role of Orgon in an adaptation of Moliere’s Tartuffe next week at the Footlight Club in Jamaica Plain. If ya wanna see me act (and I promise you do- seriously), then come along. Tickets are only $5 (free fr children and s3ni0rz!!1!) and are available at teh door. Hope to see some of y’all thrrrr 🙂 Ask for directions if you need ’em.

tartuffeformatted.jpg

UPDATE: Just so y’all know, this isn’t a professional production- don’t expect fancy sets or nothin’. We’re all volunteers and we do this out of love 🙂

THAT SAID: it’s gonna be a lotta fun. We have some very good actors in the show who are vets in the Boston fringe theatre scene- the d00d who plays Tartuffe is particularly fun to watch. The Footlight Club is one of the better all-volunteer theatres in the city, and JP has a fun’n’lively community of artsy folks who love to perform.

ANYWAY, it’ll be super-fun, I promise. I swear to you here and now that I will give a performance that has never been done in such detail or such care 😉

 

Comments: 109

 
 
 

Stay away from the theatre, boy. All them perfumey smells in the dressing room make you gay, Take it from one who knows!

Break a leg. (That means good luck on Bizarro World!)

 
 

ummm

does this mean i should be looking at your headshot? i am going to be doing a movie in the bay state this summer, strike pending…

also, second on ray–that stuff is waaaaaaaaaaay gay.

 
 

Crazy. How far from the Forest Hills T stop is this?

 
 

Damn, too bad I’m about 1200 miles from Boston. Moliere kicks ass! I’ve always thought of him as the Nostradamus of the Lewinsky scandal/Clinton impeachment for his observation that “To create a public scandal is what’s wicked; to sin in private is not a sin.”

Which, I believe, comes from the play you’ll be performing. So since I can’t come see it, allow me to offer a bravo in advance.

 
 

Wow. Talk about your renaissance man. Scholar, actor, warrior, drinker, lover, fighter…

Color me impressed…

mikey

 
 

Moliere kicks ass!

Fuckin’ A! I remember chugging down a buncha tall boys with some hits of acid in the parking lot and when I got inside the show had just about started so I lit up a J and looked behind me and I’m fucked if it wasn’t a cop! But as it turned out, the pig was cool and Moliere rocked all night.

 
 

Break a leg!

 
 

(apologies to Roy)

 
Smiling Mortician
 

Shit, Jacob — you broke Roy’s leg?

 
Smiling Mortician
 

In retrospect, I probably should add You bastard!

 
 

Wouldn’t you?

 
 

Lest anyone misunderstand, I know and love several people in the “arts,” and some of them are even gay.

LOL.

Go Brad! May this be your ticket to the big time.

 
 

Damn. I’d love to. Your company planning on touring? To like the West Coast?

Not this century? Well damn.

 
 

I think someone needs to edit that image so that it has proper grammar: “free fr children and s3ni0rz!!1!”

 
 

Shalom Gentlemen

Hear in the Heartland we don’t act in French theatrical productions!

 
 

Hear in the Heartland we don’t act in French theatrical productions!

Yeah, we know. The Band of Bubbas Underarm Fart Symphony is more your speed.

Yeah, that’s right. We know all about Branson.

 
 

The two most dreaded words in the blogosphere, and they are not, “Jonah Goldberg,” with whom Tucker Carlson has, tonight, achieved new lows in his booking options.

I hear the faint tick-tock flub-drub of Tucker’s show on MSNBC like a weak heartbeat.

(I’m not a Dr., but I used to play one at work.)

 
 

Jennifer? Are you serious? Such a thing exists, even if only in Missouri? Should I g00gel “Band of Bubbas”?

 
 

Are there car chases? Explosions? Bangled bimbos? Will anyone be hit in the face with a pie? A watermelon being smashed with a hammer perhaps? Will there be comic observations about airplanes?

No?

Then you, sir, are Frenchy McFrenchypants!

 
 

zsa – sadly, yes, I am sure that something similar to what I described does exist, undoubtedly in the heartland.

As to the Band of Bubbas, Sadly, No! They were used for purely illustrative purposes.

 
 

*rolling eyes*

Boy, are you people stupid.

Everyone knows the true meaning of MO is that it is the home of the Garden of Eden. And if we could just get the tax rate down to 0%, we would thrive as a nation.

*funky soul-laden dance step*

 
 

Hey!

I’m FROM the Heatland. My formative years were spent in a town of 1600. You couldn’t get away with ANYTHING even remotely malicious, because everyone knew your name.

When we moved there it was surrounded by nothing but farmland.

We’re not all morons. We’re quite different than the South, so get off me.

Don’t get off Saul, though. He’s a little weird, as you all would concede.

He must’ve grown up in some secret hidden Jewish cult, with meetings in basements, and Cheetohs.

 
 

I don’t believe a word of it. Everybody knows liberals despise the literary fruits of our glorious Western Civilization.

I bet it’s a trap and when you get all those suckers in the seats you are going to make them watch “Raisin in The Sun” instead.

 
 

LOL, Ellen.

Perhaps, “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner,” or, “Roots.”

Maybe, “To Sir, With Love”?

 
 

I’m from the HeaRtland, too, but it gets hot in the summer.

 
 

I would, but it’s a 4 hour drive.

I’ll wait for the blooper reel.

 
 

I’m stuck here in Columbus (save for an impending bizness trip to Tallahassee). Good luck, Brad.

P.S. Roy, everybody knows it’s Spiderman who makes you gay.

 
 

I’m waiting patiently for the public dissection of Doughbob’s various public appearances today (Salon, Bow-Tie Boy’s show). You guys have a wealth of material to work with here (although Ezra has basically blown Jonah out of the water regarding his denial that he’s trying to paint liberals as the moral equivalents of Nazis). What I’m really trying to say is-

Enough with all this bread: the mob is ready for the circus! I demand…a sacrifice!

 
 

I grew up near Branson. It’s in the Arkansas part of MO, not the Iowa part. The Ozarks are plenty southern.

 
 

Break a leg, Brad! “Tartuffe” is a great show, and I know you’re gonna kick arse. Just please don’t start every line with “The fact is…”.

 
 

I’m going to see a friend’s band play near Fenway that Sat. night… but I’m not much into theater.

Crap… I hope I’m not the only other person here from Boston, because now I feel like I’m obligated to go. :-/

 
 

Second what Snowwy said.

Bring that suckah to L.A. and we’ll *really* break your legs.

That’s what you have in mind (for some reason), right?

 
 

Break a leg, Brad.

 
 

IM GOING IM GOING IM GOING!!!

Wait, this isn’t one of those modern adaptation deals is it?

 
Trilateral Chairman
 

En fran&#231ais ou en anglais?

 
Trilateral Chairman
 

Fudge. Preview is NOT my friend. Uh…en français ou en anglais?
IN FRENCH OR IN ENGLISH, DAMNIT?!

 
 

Tickets only $5? Wow! Who subsides you guys? I do a lot of local theater and that price is outstanding. I can only assume someone else is paying the costs, cause I know $5 a head won’t do it!

Wish I was on the East Coast, though, as I’d love to see you. Never even knew you acted. Wish more bloggers did (at least on stage)!

 
 

I swear to you here and now that I will give a performance that has never been done in such detail or such care

Just so long as it isn’t an hour and a half of you saying “moist”.

 
 

At any point during the play is Tartuffe holding a large sammich? If yes, then i am so there!

 
 

(save for an impending bizness trip to Tallahassee)

Umm, Thunder?

People go to Tallahassee on BUSINESS?

Really? ‘Cause I’m a little suspicious.

Seems like a business trip to South Padre, or San Diego.

On the other hand, most of my business travel is to Las Vegas.

So maybe. But I’m skeptical…

mikey

 
 

Dude, I can’t hang out here any more. The place just officially got to gay for me.

Honestly, Brad, what next? Interpretive dance?

Actually some interpretive dance by Herr Bradrökett based on Liberal Fascism might be kind of Teh Awesome.

 
 

Hear in the Heartland we don’t act in French theatrical productions!

Izzat so?

Le Misanthrope in Dallas

Georges Dandin in Kansas

The Miser in Illinois

 
 

OK, I just posted something with links and it doesn’t show up. WTF?

 
 

Just so long as it isn’t an hour and a half of you saying “moist”.

Hell, I’d pay TEN dollars to see that….

mikey

 
 

Urp!

“TOO gay” I mean.

Goddamn, see? I’m so shocked by Brad’s coming out as a thespian that now I’m scrambling my homonyms like a goddamn right winger.

 
 

The place just officially got to gay for me.

Dammit. Seeing as how TRex is my official tour guide to gay-ville, I better go too…

mikey

 
 

Hear in the Heartland we don’t act in French theatrical productions!

Oh, really?

Dallas Theatre Center:

THE MISANTHROPE
BY MOLIÈRE
April 23 – May 18, 2008

 
 

If ya wanna see me act (and I promise you do- seriously), then come along. Tickets are only $5 (free fr children and s3ni0rz!!1!) and are available at teh door.

Are you hot?

 
 

Some of my best friends are thespians.

 
 

Dallas is not the Heartland.

Dallas is where a hateful football team lives, and more Southern than Heartland.

We don’t do a lot of cosmetic surgery and bad hair here in the Heartland, mullet (which is still mostly southern, go**ammit!) notwithstanding.

 
Saul (saul@heartland.com)
 

In the Heartland, we only produce traditional version, never “modern” adaptations. And never liberal fascist versions! I repeat: no liberal fascist theatre!

Good wholesome theatre is what we see and perform in the Heartland. Yankee Doodle Dandy and Fiddler on the Roof come to mind.

 
 

Patkin said,

January 12, 2008 at 3:14

Just so long as it isn’t an hour and a half of you saying “moist”.

Isn’t that The Vagina Monologues?

 
 

I dunno, Buddha. The production I saw was about a robot in love with a toaster.

 
 

People go to Tallahassee on BUSINESS?

Really? ‘Cause I’m a little suspicious.

There’s an apartment complex that wants a loan, mikey. Funny thing, I also went to Tallahassee back in the 80s on bizness. That was for a State Board of Administration that wanted software product to track futures and options.

Life goes round and round, but I don’t seem to get anywhere. But really, Tallahassee is college town and state capital…kinda like Columbus, Ohio come to think of it.

I’m not sure why anyone would want to go either place for any other reason.

 
 

There’s an apartment complex that wants a loan,

Ah. Well, that explains it.

When you get done, we’ve got this parking structure that wants a backrub…

mikey

 
Saul (saul@heartland.com)
 

If I was a rich man…

Da da – Da da – da da da…

It would be because of lower taxes…

Da da – Da da – da da da…

 
 

Fuck if I know how Tallahassee became state capital either. It’s like Miami, Tampa, Orlando and Gainesville got together and decided Tallahassee had to do *something*, at least.

 
 

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

January 12, 2008 at 4:12

But really, Tallahassee is college town and state capital…kinda like Columbus, Ohio come to think of it.

I’m not sure why anyone would want to go either place for any other reason.

Yep… I went to Ohio State, and that sums up Columbus. After graduating, I wound up getting a job in Dayton… and heck, I even found that more palatable that Columbus, even though it was closer to the edge of the world.

 
 

Tallahassee has an advantage when it comes to being wiped out by hurricanes. (I’ll skip past the college football puns, he typed sadly.)

Insurance anywhere along the Gulf Coast makes it really hard for apartment complexes, houses, jiffy lubes, you name it to get loans, or refinance same. Heads, you lose. Tails, they quintuple your rates, and you lose. Land on the edge, doesn’t matter. You lose.

Insurance is a racket, in the US of A. That’s why it’s Warren Buffett’s bread and butter. But you can’t get a loan without it.

 
 

Patkin said… Just so long as it isn’t an hour and a half of you saying “moist”.

Blue Buddha said… Isn’t that The Vagina Monologues?

Patkin said… I dunno, Buddha. The production I saw was about a robot in love with a toaster.

Do Androids Dream of Electric One-Slot Toaster Monologues?

 
 

I went to Ohio State, Blue Buddha. Quite some time ago.

 
 

Jesus christ in a bucket of clorox, seems like you guys went to every college in the world.

I’m pretty sure I missed out on something cool.

And that’s pissin me off.

But no worries. I’ll go down and beat up a canadian. That usually makes me feel better…

mikey

 
 

I’ll go down and beat up a canadian.

Make sure you yell at him for being a hoser, mikey.

Just for me.

 
 

g said,

January 12, 2008 at 4:31

I went to Ohio State, Blue Buddha. Quite some time ago.

I was there from 92 to 97. Got a degree in Civil Engineering.

When I got out, about the only CE jobs were to build McMansions or Big Box stores… and to Hell with anything dealing with existing infrastructure. Now you know why major bridges are collapsing, steam lines are exploding, sink holes are opening up under streets, and levees are bursting. That’s planning for you under the Republican mentality.

 
 

Oh, hell, mikey, at Ohio State I spent one quarter drinking beer and going to football games, and the following 11 quarters skipping class and working in student drama productions (and drinking wine). I graduated with a 2.5 GPA.

You would have been ashamed to waste your parents’ money like I did – I know I am now.

 
 

Blue, I remember Columbus had some wonderful old neighborhoods in South Campus, with incredible turn-of-the-century brick homes.

At the time, though, I wanted to get the hell out of there and go to New York and hit the Great White Way!

Well, I got close enough, which satisfies me.

 
 

Good wholesome theatre is what we see and perform in the Heartland. Yankee Doodle Dandy and Fiddler on the Roof come to mind.

Yeaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh…umm, “Yankee Doodle Dandy” was never a stage musical there, chief. But you just roll with that.

 
 

Here’s some of that great theater Saul attends in the Heartland. That’s Saul on the right.

 
 

Also, Yankee Doodle Dandy is about American yokels being compared to gay Britons. Just thought you’d like to know.

 
 

#

g said,

January 12, 2008 at 4:44

Blue, I remember Columbus had some wonderful old neighborhoods in South Campus, with incredible turn-of-the-century brick homes.

At the time, though, I wanted to get the hell out of there and go to New York and hit the Great White Way!

Well, I got close enough, which satisfies me.

When I was there, the area just south of campus was in the process of being “gentrified” (read Yuppified). Last I heard, they tore down all those bars on High St. near 11th Ave. and replaced them with condos, Starbucks and smoothie shops.

If I stayed there, I probably would’ve moved north of campus to Clintonville.

 
 

“Yankee Doodle Dandy” was never a stage musical there

“Yankee Doodle Dandy” was a featured number in a stage musical called “Little Johnny Jones” – which was written for or maybe also by James Cagney back in the day. I worked 4 weeks of a touring version of it, starring [bleccchhhh!] David Cassidy in the lead role.

There were only two notable things about it 1) the road crew were two of the infamous Doucette brothers (from up around your way in Haverhill, MA, Brad), who were legendary at featherbedding and upping the overtime for the crews, and 2) Cassidy, thinking he was God’s gift to women, liked to wander the halls of the dressing room area after his shower, wrapped only in a towel.

I can’t complain about the Doucettes, cause I made a lot of money, but I guess I earned it, having to see David puffing out his skinny little sparrow-chest.

 
 

Last I heard, they tore down all those bars on High St. near 11th Ave.

When you were there, was the Agoura Ballroom still there? It was an old move palace/cum/rock and roll hall back in my day. Really crumbling and gritty, but great. I saw LaBelle play there on their first tour.

 
 

Hmmm, me and the missus were looking for a cheap date next weekend, and this might be just the ticket.

Probably too late for a reservation at Ten Tables. Is the Arbor Restaurant still in biz? Of course, there’s always the cheap steak at the Galway House.

Decisions, decisions.

Used to live in JP back in the day…27 years ago to be exact. Over on Beaufort Rd., right off Centre Street. Triple D’s was the place to eat, though I hear now it’s mostly a biker bar/crack house.

Anywho, very glad you brought this up. If we go, I’ll hunt you down for an autograph.

 
 

Hur hur. UR gonna b an orgon.

/12 year old

Sorry I can’t make it, and since this is a Frenchified play: Merde!

 
 

Ok, I know, there’s important matters afoot and shit, but I just found this and have to share.

It’s from Wikipedia. And it’s important information, and I’ll continue to cite this unless and until somebody proves it wrong.

Here we go:

*AHEM*

The English word fart is one of the oldest words in the English vocabulary.

I’m better off for knowing that…

mikey

 
 

g said,

January 12, 2008 at 4:58

Last I heard, they tore down all those bars on High St. near 11th Ave.

When you were there, was the Agoura Ballroom still there? It was an old move palace/cum/rock and roll hall back in my day. Really crumbling and gritty, but great. I saw LaBelle play there on their first tour.

Yep. But it’s under a different name: The Newport. Probably different owners, but it was pretty much the same gritty old movie theater turned rock hall.

 
 

The English word fart is one of the oldest words in the English vocabulary.

mikey, are you familiar with Benjamin Franklin’s modest monograph, “Fart Proudly”?

 
 

Will there be copious drinking afterwards, and preferably beforehand as well? ;o

Also while theater is stereotypically very gay theater guys get laid like nobodie’s business.

 
 

We should take it to the next level: What married couple can’t laugh at farts? And is that an indictment of marriage, or a larger philosophical point?

About something?

 
 

Listen, as long as we’re talking about farts – I had the most extraordinary experience a couple weeks ago when we flew back home from Chicago. SOMEONE on the plane was farting, like every ten minutes, the entire 4 hour flight.

It was appalling, and the worse thing was you didn’t know who was doing it.

 
 

Hmmm, me and the missus were looking for a cheap date next weekend

I offer a discount to couples …. *wink*

 
 

Moliere really pumps my nads.

/Breakfast Club

 
 

It was appalling, and the worse thing was you didn’t know who was doing it.

OMFG, it was the islamoliberalterrafartists™!

This has to be good news for Ghouliani.

 
 

OMFG, it was the islamoliberalterrafartists™!

Yeah, I should have pulled an Annie Jacobsen.

 
 

g: you musta been ridin’ w/ Goldbutt.

Actually, one time that happened to my brother and after a while he got tired and just started yelling out for someone to please go to the bathroom or could the airline please ventilate the plane.

For whatever reason it seemed to help.

 
 

SOMEONE on the plane was farting, like every ten minutes, the entire 4 hour flight.

It was appalling, and the worse thing was you didn’t know who was doing it.

Um, sure, but I’ve GOTTA ask.

If you could determine the, er, guilty party, what would you have done?

Told them to stop that goddam farting right now?

Offered them a tums, or Beano ™ or kicked them in the balls? Sorry, different thread…

mikey

 
 

Well, that’s the problem, what could you do? And even worse, I realized that people were looking at me, just like I was looking at them.

But, honestly, it was horrendous.Damn, airlines are very tight quarters. I THINK, if it had been me, I would have tried to go to the toilet, or asked the stewards for some tums.

Do you suppose someone who’s chronically flatulent just doesn’t notice it anymore?

 
 

I had a boss that I’m certain didn’t even notice. He’d rip ’em in the middle of some serious meetings. I never invited him along, but sometimes he’d invite himself. Good guy, good businessman, bad salesman. And stinky…

mikey

 
 

There was a guy I worked with who was famous for some rip-snorters. We worked on a work crew in theatres. One time I was working up in the upper levels of the theatre with another friend, and this guy was working out in the alley, unloading the trucks. My friend and I looked down at the floor, and you could see people come reeling in from the alley, holding their noses.

As we watched, you could see the fumes spread from stage left to stage right – by members of the crew getting a whiff and recoiling and moving away. It was like some horror movie where the humans are stricken by some invisible cloud. It was amazing.

 
 

Is there a talent you SadlyNosian writers don’t have? You can write, photoshop, and now act?

I trust Brad won’t have freudian slip ups like this Christy guy. Har Har.

 
 

T.J. Lambert of Semi-Tough fame, and allegedly, Brett Favre of real-life fame have this skill, or so it is known and alleged.

mikey, if you think Hemlock was cool, you’ll think Semi-Tough is funny, if you haven’t read it already.

 
 

Do you suppose someone who’s chronically flatulent just doesn’t notice it anymore?

Or the farter lives with someone who smells worse, so by comparison he thinks his farts are little puffs of jasmine and orange peels.

And yes, I use the masculine pronoun intentionally. I know women do fart but you can’t deny male superiority when it comes to clearing a room or causing a mad rush for the elevator doors.

 
 

Dunno from that, but here’s my Hemlock quote of the night.

http://www.box.net/shared/use4bnaw44

mikey

 
 

Ah, mikey, that’s a beauty. I hated Pope by then.

Read “Semi-Tough,” at least if you’re an old (which I know you qualify for for this purpose) sports fan, which I’ve never gotten the impression you are, but and because you’ll think it is funny regardless.

Sorry, everyone, couldn’t figure a way to comment on mikey’s link.

 
 

Kinda makes you want to look booger in the eye and…

Whoa. That’s gonna leave a mark…

mikey

 
 

…crush his fingers in the door? Knock his stool out from under the feet and stop on his nose?

Just guessing, m. For the record, I could never officially get that violent.

I was lookng all over the place for when Hemlock says to Mr. Loo the Brit Top Spy, “I’m sorry, I arrived at an unfortunate period in your history, the 20th Century,” or something along those lines.

 
 

You mean this, John?

http://www.box.net/shared/zk8ykapwgk

Yep. Good shit…

mikey

 
 

Pleasant dreams, everyone.

 
 

Tartuffe is a great play to be doing now: hypocritical and vice-ridden preacher using his status as a man-of-god to manipulate the gullible, line his pockets, and fulfill his sinful urges. It really screams for a modern-dress interpretation.

Have fun, and break a leg! (not literally).

 
 

People go to Tallahassee on BUSINESS?

Really? ‘Cause I’m a little suspicious.

Mikey:

The company I work for has sizeable branches or business relationships in Amarillo, TX, Memphis, TN, and Winnipeg, Canada. And it’s a pretty large, wealthy commodity futures trading company. So, I’m not really that surprised.

 
 

Dear Brad,

Beak a leg dude! (not really)

Sounds like a great role- Orgon is the head of the household right?

Anyhow, have a great, fun production.

 
 

One of these days I plan to write an adaptation of Hamlet, from the point-of-view of Yorick’s skull. It will be considerably shorter than the usual version.

 
 

Smut:

It’ll be the Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead to Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead!

Yorick Is Still Quite Dead, All Said.

 
 

Stoppard stole my idea.

 
 

YORICK!

 
 

Cool! A great play. The Miser might still be my favorite Moliere play, due to seeing a stellar production of it. I’ve directed The Imaginary Cuckold. But break a leg!

 
 

Patkin said… Just so long as it isn’t an hour and a half of you saying “moist”.

Blue Buddha said… Isn’t that The Vagina Monologues?

Patkin said… I dunno, Buddha. The production I saw was about a robot in love with a toaster.

Do Androids Dream of Electric One-Slot Toaster Monologues?

I’m gonna guess Patkin was hitting the Plutonian Nyborg before the show.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082509/quotes

 
 

All them big brains and you can act too? How do you carry your head around without toppling from the extra weight?

No seriously…great blog here. My coffee cup has been empty for half an hour, and I can’t seem to drag myself away to the kitchen for more. Unprecedented!

Bravo (or brava)
KHT

 
 

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