Doughy Pantload Rising
Posted on January 11th, 2008 by Tintin
One of the central complaints Jonah has about the negative Amazon reviews of Liberal Fascism: From Mussolini to the Designated Hitter Rule is that some of the people saying nasty things about the book hadn’t read every single word of the book’s 496 pages. That might be a fair complaint if Jonah hadn’t dissed David Neiwert’s negative review of Liberal Fascism without having read, it would appear, a single word of its several pages.
Hilarious. He actually acts as though he’s going to defend his “book” on its merits.
Jonah, let me make it simple: it has no merits.
Jonah is the gift that keeps on giving.
Nifty photoshop.
Wait, it’s real?!
Jeez, setting aside the PShop’d cheetos, what’s with that expression?
Is Jonah at an angry party?
Grrrrr….
mikey
What Mr. Pantload, Esq. seems to be unable to grasp is that one need not read any words of a book based on an imaginary or surrealistically twisted premise in order to conclude that said book is an imaginary, surrealistically twisted pile of shite.
That’s funny, considering that people saying nice things about the book most likely didn’t read every single word as well. Hell, I’d be surprised if any of them read anything past the book jacket.
That’s Jonah’s idea of an apology? A retraction? Jesus Bellowing Christ on a Shetland Pony, there’s nothing toolier than the Pantload.
He’s not at an angry, party, he is an angry party. Only without the party. And he traded in his angry for smarmy. And stupid. And juvenile.
OK, now my angry party is beginning. Grrr. Let’s dance.
Heh heh.
Not to mention, we did read parts of it. The parts highlighted by our gracious SadlyNo! hosts because of how insane they were.
What the Lieberal Bloggers of Sadly Blows don’t tell you is that bipartisan Unity ’08 candidate Michael Bloomberg eats more cheetoes in a day than Jonah does in a week.
“Pantload rising”? Oh dear Lord.
The Doughy Pantload Rising title makes me think of a twisted version of The Doors’ LA Woman:
Doughy pantload rising
Mr. Pantload rising…
Got my pantload rising
C’mon, Rising, rising…
Did somebody say angry dance party?
Jonah is at #10 on Amazon!!
I told you and told you and told you and told you and told you and told you
and told you and told you and told you and told you and told you and told you
if you’ll just STOP screaming about his book it’ll GO AWAY.
BUT……
You can’t stop screaming because it hits you right in the nutsack.
It’s true. ALL OF IT.
And I haven’t read a word of it, and I don’t have to, because normal everyday behavior of liberals, and thousands of blog posts and comments are proof positive that you are all fascists at heart.
The proof of the pudding is in the eating.
bon appetit, morons
The thing is, you don’t need to read more than a bit. Doughbob Loadpants’ book is like a hologram—every portion of his book contains within it the stupidity of the whole.
It’s not like anybody in his fan club/neocon yiff & skritch pile has read it either. He’s singing a few bars of that old conservative pity favorite “I Must’ve Done Something SoRight (Because the Left Done Said I’m So Wrong)” which is required to get a cost-of-living increase to your wingnut welfare. I hate that song personally but it’s a perennial.
I’m not a historian and I don’t speak all those funny languages but I have decided to redo all those stupid histories of ancient Egypt I never read and soon my 1,000 page heavily indexed copy of Like Way More Than 50 Years Ago: Ancient Egypt From The Beginning Part of It to When It Was Like Not Ancient Anymore should soon be heating up the Amazon lists, that is, once I can convince some mommy to make some mean publisher do it.
It’s true. ALL OF IT.
And I haven’t read a word of it, and I don’t have to, because normal everyday behavior of liberals, and thousands of blog posts and comments are proof positive that you are all fascists at heart.
So every printed word or millimeter of film ever produced by Michael Moore is hyper-super-duper-mega-infinity true.
some of the people saying nasty things about the book hadn’t read every single word of the book’s 496 pages
How does the author feel about people writing 5-out-of-5 reviews for the book after reading 40 pages?
That is awesome. He has tapped the energies of the Holographic Dumbiverse.
I think it’s spelled Neiwert .
Shorter whiner:
You’re all a bunch of poopyheads who think and say things I don’t like. This is proof positive you are fascists at heart.
Oddly, that’s also the Cliff Notes for the Pantload Opus.
MzNicky said,
January 11, 2008 at 4:05
Did somebody say angry dance party?
I never thought I would miss the 70’s. Who knew?
agum makes an interesting point.
Jonah Goldberg’s expectation that a reviewer would, in fact, at least read the thing he or she is reviewing is nothing but reasonable. In fact, it’s central to my point. Of course, it is also reasonable that a reviewer could skim the whole thing to find a few pertinent passages to highlight, or support, the high level (re)view.
Since that is in fact the point which is central, it is also reasonable (and thusly equi-centra and centrally co-equall) that a review of a review would quite naturally follow the same central method. Otherwise, the centrality of the point would be lost.
Now that we have shown it is true for n =1, and for n +1, we have proved by mathematical intimidation that it is quite reasonable to both review and critique wthtout reading anything at all. Of course, I have to credit Mr. Goldberg himself for introducing this type of logic without which . there qould be no point, no centrality and worst of all, no Cheetohs.
It should then be perfectly clear that, mutatis mutandem, Michael Bloomberg is not nearly as fat as Michael Moore, nay even approaching the bloatality of Mr. Goldberg himself.
QED
I’m not obsessive. I’m not obsessive. I’m not obsessive. I’m not obsessive. I’m not obsessive. I’m not obsessive. I’m not obsessive. I’m not obsessive. I’m not obsessive. I’m not obsessive. I’m not obsessive. I’m not obsessive. I’m not obsessive. I’m not obsessive. I’m not obsessive. I’m not obsessive. I’m not obsessive. I’m not obsessive. I’m not obsessive. I’m not obsessive. I’m not obsessive. I’m not obsessive. I’m not obsessive. I’m not obsessive. I’m not obsessive. I’m not obsessive. I’m not obsessive. I’m not obsessive. I’m not obsessive. I’m not obsessive. I’m not obsessive. I’m not obsessive.
Indeed. Example: photoshopping cheetos into Jonah’s picture is mean and very, very fascist. It killed 800,000 people by itself, and declared itself emperor.
No fair – that picture and that title = maniacal laughter over here.
Indeed. Example: photoshopping cheetos into Jonah’s picture is mean and very, very fascist. It killed 800,000 people by itself, and declared itself emperor.
And then there’s the time it raped a different brad, while Hitler watched and laughed.
How does he know who has and has not read his book? Does he say? I can understand Amazon deleting obviously trollish reviews, but they deleted ALL negative reviews, even the more moderate. But left the fawning ass-kissing ones up. Who’s in charge there?
It’s really at #10 on Amazon? America is finished.
those are hilarious complaints from the man who asked his readers to explain Spencer to him.
For my book rewriting all of what the pointy heads think they know about ancient Egypt, I would appreciate it if my readers could decipher all the hieroglyphics for me and then pick out the ones that are important and then tell me how to put them together to show how stupid all the big professors are at the universities I didn’t get into.
those are hilarious complaints from the man who asked his readers to explain Spencer to him.
Hopefully the Cliff Notes they provided him were detailed and made with care. Otherwise Jonah lied.
#9 now.
But relax, it’s still the first week since release to the general public. Heck, I’m sure Battlefield Earth raked in a few bucks on its first and only week. And speaking of Scientologists, you have to factor in that many of these sales are probably wimgnuts buying his book in bulk to boost his ranking, a common tactic that Scientologists did with Dianetics.
in Liberal Fascism: The Glossary
cheetos (chee-toes) 1. the wingnut equivalent of biblical manna. 2. the reality-based equivalent of tanith root.
It’s really at #10 on Amazon? America is finished.
Said numbers also include 2 free copies for everyone at The Heritage Foundation and the 10k copies his mommy bought to pass out at wingnut parties.
see all them other ancient (my mom’s age) fascists were worried about trains running on time, and now constitution-huggers are all worried about light rail and subways and whatnot, and that’s at the vortex of my point.
I hate the fucking DH rule.
There.
I had something pithy to say but I keep looking at that picture and thinking “U kan haz mi Cheetoz when u pri dem frum mi cold, deaded paws!”
Shalom, gentlemen.
Did someone say shuffle dance?
The fact is, liberals don’t know what they are bitching about as usual, all they do is assume. You whining little shits love to complain complain complain everytime a Conservative makes a valid point because you can’t stand the fact that the Right is right and that America is the Greatest Nation on Earth. So go give that pedophile muhammed a blow job why don’t ya!
them weimar republic cabaret entertainers would be all bisexual and whatnot and tell jokes about the differences between Berlin and Rome; and nowadays all the chicks you can’t tell what they’re into, and all the comedians tell jokes about the differences between New York City and Los Angeles, and hey, I live in Los Angeles, and that is asymptotic to my point.
I’d like to suggest that you read it before criticizing my latest book “Pacifists Gone Wild – From Vlad the Impaler to Jeffrey Dahmer”.
Also, please refrain from judgment on the merits of my recently published study “Mauling Misunderstood – Grizzlies Just Want To Cuddle” until you’ve at least looked at the data.
Jonah smells like baby shampoo and farts.
It’s what Roy Edroso said, anyway.
Although I have not yet read Pacifists Gone Wild, my good patriot American conservative employer gives me money to always speak nicely of people who speak nicely of stuff that we want to hear nice stuff about, so I give it 8 million stars.
I’m soooooooooooo stoked that Amazon is finally balancing out there reviews to not include biased and slanted leftistsm but is allowing truth and free speech and only reviews from those who can prove they read it and can understand English.
It wasn’t Hitler.
It was Elmo.
Elmo is a Nazi who enables photoshopped pictures to rape me.
What was the Star Trek episode where the Enterprise discovers a bunch of kids living alone on a planet and everything is really cool and groovy, except when the sun goes down the kids all kind of freak out and say, “It’s time to go inside now” and Kirk and the crew discover that scarey monsters are picking the kids off one by one at night?
This reminds me of that episode. It’s nighttime now, and all the trolls show up.
Am I remembering this right?
Blue Buddha, I have to take issue on one point.
Battlefield Earth is one of the funniest comedies made this century. That the studio didn’t understand this and marketed it as a serious scifi action movie shouldn’t be held against it.
Also, please refrain from judgment on the merits of my recently published study “Mauling Misunderstood – Grizzlies Just Want To Cuddle” until you’ve at least looked at the data.
Somewhat related, it’s ironic that the bear that ate Grizzly Man was the one he had named “Jeffrey Dahmer”.
…no…wait…I just made that up. Which is central to my point.
The truth is, you keep shoving communism and gayness down our throats, but they do not solve problems. Only God and the Free Market and Hard Work do, at least here in the Heartland.
Jonah Goldberg is a Patriot who puts you liberals and your feeble arguments to shame! The fact is, he’s smarter than you and you just can’t STAND IT!
Wingnut Face Mullet + wireless specs + pushing a grunty* on C-SPAN = super sexy serious pundit
* grunty = very hard poop, often a result of chronic constipation**
**Cheetos are a leading cause of chronic constipation
Elmo is a Nazi who enables photoshopped pictures to rape me.
I thought that was Burt.
shoving communism and gayness down our throats
Interesting choice of words.
Dude, if you don’t want to be face-fucked, you need to tell your partner that you’d really just prefer some light teabagging.
The level of smarmy self-congratulation on his blog is sickening. In this post someone writes in to tell him all the times in the first 23 pages he didn’t call liberals Nazis:
http://liberalfascism.nationalreview.com/post/?q=YTcwYzRlNmIzZmRiZDRlMzhhN2I0MGZkNTg3Njk0YWQ=
Comepletely ignoring the the words Liberal and Facism placed right next to each other on the cover. His book is almost like a bad attempt at a Monthy Python skit.
you keep shoving communism and gayness down our throats
And you keep showing up, mouths agape, begging and debasing yourselves, groveling, just for a little more, just a sweet taste of that luscious dripping gayness!
Admit it, you do!
So when Der Pantenlöden pays for sex, do you think he is choosing cheap Dominican women, or cheap Haitian boys?
I’m guessing he goes for the boys.
God is going to punish the leftwing coastal areas for their blasphemy against Him and His Name! Here in the Heartland we honor God and follow His Commandments, you libtards honor satan and follow his ways. God is our Father. You liberals obey your father the devil. That is why you all lie because your father the devil is a liar, when he lies he speaks his native tongue he is a liar and the father of lies and you liberals are the offspring of hell!
Liberals talk of tolerance, but they cannot tolerate this book. They want to see it destroyed, and all the ugly truth about them swept under the rug. Not gonna happen. We are on to you. And now that we have the proof, and have you nailed dead to rights, we are coming for you. Oh, we will put you in camps. We will have to, if not the PC police will put us in camps for worshipping g-d as we see fit and calling it as it is on race, sex, economic and social issues. We are right, but once we get control of the media back (nice try with bringing back the bullshit Fairness Doctrine) we will crush you utterly, and freedom will ring again.
Yeah, but is Amazon leaving the tags intact?
Time to go inside, friends. The mosquitoes have started to swarm around the porch light.
Ahhhh, finally remembered to update that greasemonkey script. Much better.
Ban them, Gavin. They’re just going to get worse until you do.
Don’t go out tonight
Or it’s bound to take your life
There’s a pantload on the rise.
‘K, now I feel sick.
I hear farting.
saul said,
January 11, 2008 at 5:38
Oh, we will put you in camps.
Shut up, annie.
“you keep shoving communism and gayness down our throats”
I love this shit. I mean for Christ’s sake, two things can’t occupy the same space at the same time.
OR CAN THEY !!!!!
The fact is, homosexuals should be put in concentration camps in Alaska.
Not if they put you in them first, all the while shoving their gayness down your throats.
Jonah’s coming to town in the spring to plug his book. His ‘debate’ partner? Peter fucking Beinart.
I shall be taking Cheetohs.
If you think it’s coming from the wingnuts, you’re wrong. They’ve learned to fart in complete silence. Except for Brit Hume. Which is fine, because Juan Cole and Billy Kristol give him a pass in the name of bipartisanship and deference to their elders. God I hate FOX News Sunday.
Booger, since you seem to believe in a literal Devil, lurking in Hades to jump out and grab anybody who disagrees with you, do you also believe that demons cause disease, like it says in the Bible? And have you repented your vaccinations and trips to doctors, since science can’t drive out demons?
I call top bunk.
“you keep shoving communism and gayness down our throats”
Well, yes, and no. Communism, perhaps, I am trying to shove down your throat. But gayness, well, that’s going straight up your ass.
#
Allah smells like shit said,
January 11, 2008 at 5:12
The fact is, liberals don’t know what they are bitching about as usual, all they do is assume. You whining little shits love to complain complain complain everytime a Conservative makes a valid point because you can’t stand the fact that the Right is right and that America is the Greatest Nation on Earth. So go give that pedophile muhammed a blow job why don’t ya!
Come on, tell the truth, kid. You’re not even old enough to shave, are you?
Hey, welcome, TRex! Why don’t you help me light these citronella candles, maybe they’ll repel the trolls enough so folks can still sit outside on the porch and talk!
Want a drink? I’m having a glass of wine, but I think mikey or Candy or someone might have something else, if that’s not to your liking.
why alaska, doea saul want to see full on homosexual bear action, if you do pal, I have some videos from Amsterdam that may interest you
Sauls wants to go “into the wild” if you know what I mean.
“Sadly Man,” a new documentary by Werner Herzog, documents one troll’s attempt to form relationships with the fauna of Sadly,No National Park. The film mixes Herzog’s ruminations on nature and the nature of obsession, interviews with the troll’s surviving friends and family and the remarkable home video the troll shot while in the wild. The story’s tragic denouement, the dismembering and consumption of the troll by the creatures he sought to befriend, is as heartbreaking as it is expected.
Maybe he bought some houses in Gnome and he’s trying to figure out how to get some gays up there so the property values will increase.
So saul wants to put us all in camps because *we’re* the fascists?
Salon has an interview up with Jonah, in which he is unable to defend any of his points and backs off of everything he wrote. Funny stuff.
I love this bit of Pantloadian Flatulence on Nation Review Online where he proudly quotes a letter saying he trots out the same “I’m not saying liberals are nazis but…” line six times in the first 23 pages. Why should anyone bother reading the whole thing if he just keeps repeating himself?
I am commenting on a political-humor blog.
agum said,
January 11, 2008 at 3:49
What the Lieberal Bloggers of Sadly Blows don’t tell you is that bipartisan Unity ‘08 candidate Michael Bloomberg eats more cheetoes in a day than Jonah does in a week.
Wow, that article is truly an example of modern-day political writing at its finest. Joe Klein would be so proud:
n Wednesday, Newsday and its sister publication amNewYork published an article noting that a photo of Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg in Wired Magazine shows the mayor evidently reaching for a bag of Cheez-Its. The snack contains trans fats, which the Bloomberg administration has prohibited city restaurants from using.
The black-and-white photograph, shot by Larry Fink, accompanies a short Q&A with the mayor on such topics as the 311 hotline, free broadband and the city’s fledgling program to pay students who get good grades at school.
But Justin Rocket Silverman, writing in Newsday and amNewYork, trained his eyes on the Cheez-It Baked Snack Crackers, giving a playful tsk-tsk to the mayor:
The reader can only assume that the baked snack cracker is headed for the mayor’s mouth, and along with it some of the half-gram of trans fat found in every serving of Cheez-Its.
In fact, however, the precise amount of trans fat in each serving of Cheez-Its is not clear. Some nutrition labels on Cheez-It boxes list the trans fat content as zero grams, as Steve, a reader, pointed out down in the comments. Further down, the labels show a dagger symbol next to a line of tiny type that states: “Less Than 0.5G Trans Fat Per Serving.”
Awe. Some.
It’s hysterical! Jonah’s getting his ass handed to him! The only way he can respond to most of the questions is to say, “Well, yeah, I guess I was wrong about that.”
Or one of my favorites –
Interviewer: You’ve talked about Mussolini remaining on the left and remaining a socialist, and in your book you’ve got a lot of quotes from the 1920s about that, but I’m wondering — how does that fit in with what he wrote?
Jonah: I’d need to know specifically what he wrote in “The Doctrine of Fascism.” It’s been about three years since I’ve read it.
Here’s the guy who’s writing about Fascism and he can’t even remember what Mussolini wrote in a seminal work!
It’s the perfect Jonah.
Rapebear
From the interview with Jonah:
That’s the fascism in Hillary Clinton’s vision. It’s not the Orwellian stamping on a human face thing, it’s hugs and kisses and taking care of boo-boos. It is the nanny state……An unwanted hug is still as tyrannical or as oppressive — not as oppressive, but an unwanted hug is still oppressive if you can’t escape from it …
I always knew he had issues about Lucianne.
… What appealed to the Progressives about militarism was what William James calls this moral equivalent of war. It was that war brought out the best in society, as James put it, that it was the best tool then known for mobilization … That is what is fascistic about militarism, its utility as a mechanism for galvanizing society to join together, to drop their partisan differences, to move beyond ideology and get with the program. And liberalism today is, strictly speaking, pretty pacifistic. They’re not the ones who want to go to war all that much. But they’re still deeply enamored with this concept of the moral equivalent of war, that we should unite around common purposes. Listen to the rhetoric of Barack Obama, it’s all about unity, unity, unity, that we have to move beyond our particular differences and unite around common things, all of that kind of stuff. That remains at the heart of American liberalism, and that’s what I’m getting at.
So there you have it, folks. “A nation divided against itself cannot stand.” Abraham Lincoln was a fascist.
I’d like to know which social programs Jonah thinks of as “unwanted hugs.”
War is fascist.
War unifies.
Liberals don’t like war.
But they like unity.
Ergo, liberals are fascist.
This is so twisted onto itself. It’s like a Klein bottle. A Klein bottle full of Cheeto slurry.
Hey, welcome, TRex! Why don’t you help me light these citronella candles, maybe they’ll repel the trolls enough so folks can still sit outside on the porch and talk!
Evenin’, pardner!
I’ll take a Pelligrino.
It’s not the Orwellian stamping on a human face thing, it’s hugs and kisses and taking care of boo-boos.
You’re kidding me. You have got to be fucking kidding me.
But I suppose it is central to his point.
As for not reading the whole book before reviewing it – does the book say anything at all that isn’t covered by the two-word title?
I’d like to know which social programs Jonah thinks of as “unwanted hugs.”
Jonah believes that only a chosen few deserve cradle-to-grave welfare. Anyone else should bravely face the Holy Free Market. And that, most certainly, is central to his point.
Here it is, folks! “This is central to my point.”:
And yeah, kudos to the interviewer for whipping out Mussolini’s “The Doctrine of Fascism”.
Here is the link:
http://salon.com/news/feature/2008/01/11/goldberg/
So it’s the opposite…only the same!
So Bush, who was the “uniter”, is a fascist? Bloomberg and the “Unity Party” are fascists?
So they aren’t evil, but they are just wrong…except they aren’t bad ideas. What?
The whole point of the book is to score political points by calling liberals fascists and Nazis. The entire thing is a smear by association. If fascism isn’t bad in itself then what’s the point? That *is* the point.
—
I’m watching some show on Bravo with models and they are telling some girl that she can’t be a model because she isn’t flat-chested. What a crazy world we live in. Damn fascist fashion designers.
That’s the problem with us Liberal Fascists. We’re always so emotional, needing hugs and all when common sense should suffice.
That is what I believe fascism is.
Did anyone tell the Pantload that it doesn’t matter what he believes fascism is, because there’s a definition of it and all that? And if he wants to just invent his own definition and claim that it’s the same thing, he’s being a pantload?
I think many people have told him that. It’s just that Amazon deleted them telling him that.
Ted at 8:39. Uhhh; I believe we have a winner !
“and certainly the people who subscribed to that stuff”
Stupid “stuff”.
I think fascism is locking people up without trial or access to counsel, refusing to charge them with a crime while torturing them.
Oh did I say something wrong? Don’t mind me.
Jesus I hope this Jonah beat down goes down in history.Sort of like one would imagine this:
http://www.fortunecity.com/tinpan/wellerville/198/hof/goosegossage.html
http://www.baseballlibrary.com/ballplayers/player.php?name=eddie_gaedel_1925
Rather I think it is a religious impulse that resides in all of us
It’s religious now? An inherent religious impulse that also has to do with the modern bureaucratic state?
It’s really at #10 on Amazon? America is finished.
Nah, that Scaife guy just wants to be sure his wife’s divorce lawyers get *not one penny*… just pallet upon pallet of Pantload.
TRex said,
Come on, tell the truth, kid. You’re not even old enough to shave, are you?
Americans are brainwashed, they actually believe in unfettered Reaganesque free-market capitalism, forgetting all their high school reading of Steinbeck and that dude who wrote Octopus, preferring Chuck Norris- Huckabee version- and Chuck Norris- McCain version- who can fault McCain, twin shoulder-hung uzis blazing,
or Huckabee, bariatricly-enhanced, twin dinosaurs climbing the sainted steps of Noah’s ark?
Dude, those guys rule!
Compare to the Democratic side, arguing about women and race and haircuts, silly stuff.
I’m not voting for any of them until they fully define their position on Brassica oleracea, the lowley brussel sprout, pungent acrid herb, food of the winter gods.
George Herbert Bush, former CIA leader, former VP, former ambassador to Spain or someplace like that was the ultimate candidate until that day he went to a grocery and was all like, “I hate Brassica oleracea, and what’s that, a cash register?” He lost my vote that day, I shit you not, that day i decided to vote for the little Turkish guy in the big hat in the tank.
Turkey is, by the way, especially good served with hot buttered brussel sprouts.
“pallet upon pallet of Pantload” is especially good alliteration.
The very end of a lengthy review of the 18 reviews of the book:
Nice.
Think like a five year old!
Sharing STINKS!!
Being nice BLOWS!!
Pinched cheeks SUCK!! (ok, true…)
In other words, the expectation of sharing, respect, and love for fellow human beings is oppressive to der Pantload.
I’m going to bed and read but before I go, I think we all need a deeper perspective. I would advise: shake everything you’ve got:
So, in makeover-show terminology, the Big Reveal of the book seems to be that both liberalism and fascism show affinities for utopian and/or authoritarian ideas and rhetoric. Probably so. But name an -ism for which that isn’t possible. Buddhist Fascism. Abolitionist Fascism. Pointillist Fascism. Empiricist Fascism. Antidisestablishmentarianist Fascism. This may be stealing someone else’s line, but after a certain point he’s just playing the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon game.
And my favorite, “Objectivist Fascism.”
Fuck Any Rand.
*Ayn. Damn, I need to go to bed.
Hey! Don’t go to bed yet! I haven’t gotten laid in AGES!
“that day i decided to vote for the little Turkish guy in the big hat in the tank.”
Uhhh. Dude: That Dukakis guy? Greek. Exceptionally *not* Turkish; Greek. Okay, Greek-American, believe me, you so do not want to go making that mistake in front of anyone with Greek ancestry, because — well, the least that will happen is they’ll never let you hear the end of it.
I’m such a geek, I’ve been re-reading David Nyhan’s 1988 election-year bio THE DUKE. It’s depressing how much hasn’t changed since then, including a lot of the same old faces. And nothing that’s going on this year has disabused me of my suspicion that Bush I didn’t take the Oval Office any more honestly than his Idiot Son. *Sigh*
Shalom, gentleman.
Spring? Ha! I get to see him next week.
I shall wear LœdedHösen. And maybe a helmet.
And that reminds me, I forgot to bring my copy of The Onion home. His up-coming appearance gets a mention that starts out “Jonah Goldberg was a nobody until his mother, Lucianne Goldberg…”
lolz! Shalom, Gary!
Did you convert yesterday? Did you have the, uh, physical adjustment?
Jonah (from the Slate Interview):
“And he said a lot of stuff. He was sort of a buffoon in that sense; he was constantly changing his definitions of fascism and talking out of one side of the mouth, then out of the other side of his mouth …”
Pantload’s log, 2:11 PM:
Pantload’s log, 4:47 PM:
Here’s hoping!
Hmm.
So being kind,offering support to people down on their luck(or hell,even someone having a rough day),and wanting a fairly united and peaceable country is fascist?
No Jonah. No. You. Moron. (or Moran,depending…)
I think he hates that stuff because it makes him and his pals look like the major assholes they are. Of course they hate that sort of thing,it annoys them because deep down somewhere,that kind of compassion hits a nerve and it makes them very uncomfortable,and then angry. Jonah’s not oppressed by anything other than his inability to move his ass out of his own mess.
He also uses the phrase “and stuff”way too often for someone who’s supposed to be an intellectual.
His childhood must have been sad. He’s got some sort of attachment disorder.
The list of Amazon tags now fills four pages.
Shalom.
The truth is, most of those tags are liberal biased. I complained to Amazon and they said they would remove all the ones that are demeaning to the author and his supporters. Thats not censorship, thats good business. They want to sell books, and we want the freedom to choose! Liberals would ban the book if they could, the truth hurts!
Oh shut up, you completely fake, boring little shit.
Okay. I admit it. I’m fake. It’s just that I’m kind of bored. I hope you forgive me.
geebus in taco! Salon gave a forum to doughy’s drek! fuck, I’m never going back there.
You actually think you’re spicing things up by doing that? Jesus Christ.
The fact is, I can sue you.
http://mediamatters.org/items/200801100016
SCARBOROUGH: But you’re not suggesting in this book, though, that you can draw a line from Mussolini to Hillary Clinton or Mussolini to Barack Obama, are you?
GOLDBERG: Well, I’m saying you can draw a line, but it’s not a straight one. It goes all sorts of different places. I’m not saying that today’s liberalism is the son of Nazism or the son of Italian fascism. I’m saying it’s sort of like the great-grandniece once removed.
It’s bad enough he wrote this piece of turdery, but now he has to run around talking about it too?
Teh STOOOPIDDD!!! make it STOPPP!!!1!!!
Well, after reading Jonah’s interview, I’ve been inspired to write my own Amazon review, which I quote here, since it will probably get deleted:
I’ve read this steaming load of claptrap, and find it to be laughable and poorly written, with a contrived “thesis” that shifts and contorts itself in a procrustean attempt to fit Goldberg’s TRUE thesis, which is “Liberals are poopy-heads.” But don’t take my word for it. In fact, I doubt you will take my word for it, since you’ve been deleting 1-star reviews
Let the words of the author himself, interviewed by the on-line magazine Salon, speak to this publication: “And he said a lot of stuff. He was sort of a buffoon in that sense; he was constantly changing his definitions of fascism and talking out of one side of the mouth, then out of the other side of his mouth.”
[Fap! Fap! Fapfapfap!]
Jonah Goldberg: the last clown in the circus car that is the right wing.
GOLDBERG: Well, I’m saying you can draw a line, but it’s not a straight one. It goes all sorts of different places. I’m not saying that today’s liberalism is the son of Nazism or the son of Italian fascism. I’m saying it’s sort of like the great-grandniece once removed.
And Jonah’s proposed marriage to her.
He may also be convinced that the purpose of the clown car is transportation. That’s why he’s hanging in there — he’s waiting for the next stop.
The salon interview is the worst beating I’ve ever seen without somebody going to jail.
Doughy wanted a serious dialog, but all that happened was his exposure as a delusional. His ambition to be viewed as a scholar is dashed on the rocks of sophistry.
“at first blush?” I didn’t think Jonah was capable of shame.
aimai
Shorter LoædedHösen:
Well. Um. I … Look, just buy my book or you’re a fascist doody head!
Ah, well, my review lived for about 30 minutes. Then it was gone.
Okay, I’ve read the Salon interview with Doughy and then conducted a brief unscientific textual content analysis (okay, I ran it through word count). I think you’ll find some of my results quite interesting.
No. of times he uses the word “basically”: 11
No. of times he says either “kind of” or “sort of”: 14
No. of times he uses the word “stuff”: 11
No. of times he uses the phrase “argument ad Hitlerum“: 1
Additionally, the following statements from the interview lead me to conclude that my hypothesis that Doughy Pantload is a dump-truck full of misplaced pomposity and rank dullardness is correct:
“I’d need to know specifically what [Mussolini] wrote in ‘The Doctrine of Fascism.’ It’s been about three years since I’ve read it.”
“Yeah, I’m perfectly willing to concede there’s a lot of stuff Mussolini says…”
“Well, I mean, I bet you if you gave me an hour I could find places where [Mussolini] once again says nice things about Marxism in 1933 or 1937.”
“I think the problem is you get into one of these sort of overly doctrinal, ‘let’s go to the text’ approaches where words get confused for things.”
“I’m not trying to dodge anything, I just would have to look at it in the context and see where [Mussolini] is coming from on that.”
[regarding the book cover:]
“Well, I’m perfectly glad to concede that people who do judge books by their covers or think it’s more important to read a title rather than read a book will be confused and jump to conclusions.”
So in conclusion, I conclude that liberal fascists should quit jumping to all those conclusions. It is indeed central to Doughy’s point.
An unwanted hug is still as tyrannical or as oppressive — not as oppressive, but an unwanted hug is still oppressive if you can’t escape from it …
Submitted without further comment.
Pantload from the Salon interview:
You don’t have conservative groups talking about what kind of condoms you should use or what positions you can be in. That kind of thing doesn’t really go on.
That is the superwrongest assertion in a superwrong Wingnutistan land ever done made.
There is no explicit ruling out of unwanted hugs in US law and therefore a prudent administration would use unwanted hugs as a means of diplomacy or coerced persuasion.
And stuff.
Would it be so bad to point out that if it’s not straight it’s not really a line? And one reason that so many people look for straight lines to tell them about data is, um, well:
Unless Jonah is wowing us all by preferring a non-testable historical pathway approach, or perhaps some fancy-pants Mandelbrot work, or maybe his stuff is so awesomely unlikely that it would take all the world’s supercomputers working together with all the world’s cyclotrons just to come close to the sorts of insights he’s making.
I would say that my argument is sort of circular, but it wouldn’t be the round kind of circle.
Didn’t he just disprove the entire premise of his book?
“doughy pantload rising” is an anagram for “parody is out laughing.” just sayin’
Liberal Fascism = Sir Balsamic Elf
I would argue that Nixon was not a particularly conservative guy. Measured by today’s standards and today’s issues, Nixon would be in the liberal wing of the Democratic Party.
Wow.
Check out Balloon Juice for the “Goldberg Principle”
“You can prove any thesis to be true if you make up your own definitions of words.”
I would say that my argument is sort of circular, but it wouldn’t be the round kind of circle.
See, that would basically be kind of classically circular and stuff. Oh, and unwanted hugs are sort of a kind of assault. That’s illegal and stuff, in the classical sense. If you give me an hour or two I could actually check the laws and stuff to give you a definition of assault that would include unwanted hugs. Which, I believe, is central to the point and stuff.
Man, I would give anything to see Goldberg debate David Neiwert.
Well, we already “saw” him (in Mittster fashion) debate Elie Wiesel:
Some little kitty had too much time on her hands this afternoon… link
That is absolutely awesome, tigrismus, if it weren’t so much exactly like Wilsonian / Hillaryite fascism.
Well, Amazon has once again removed *all* one-star reviews, but they let stand several five-star reviews that do not even address the book’s content!
Amazon will rue the day they ever heard the words “Doughy Pantload”! We shall storm their gates and pummel their beings with our little red books! And I don’t mean the ones with the Hitler smiley face on them! Progressive Totalitarians everywhere: Hear the clarion call! We shall smite them oh fuck it.
If Amazon is going to remove one-star reviews, just submit five-star reviews along the lines of “As a fellow conservative, I didn’t have to read the book (as if I could) to know it’s a pile of poorly constructed arguments based on cherry-picked facts. That’s a given. What matters is that it conforms to my ill-informed views of the world, and Jonah has delivered in spades. A five-star must read!!”
Some little kitty had too much time on her hands this afternoon…
Terrific!
One question: Why aren’t you all busy writing new reviews?
Amazon deletes reviews that people do not find helpful, fearing for sales. That could be an explanation. If its any consolation, Borders don’t carry this “book.”
Ass rape Jonah today!
The pant load not only aspires to be, but is a pundit. The pant load pundit.
How does he live with himself.
I thought that was the “Designated Hitler Rule”, which I guess refers to designating the desired target (Saddam, Bush, Obama) as being “just like Hitler”.
Do you know who else had an at-bat for someone else?