The Pantload That Keeps on Loading


The fun continues with Liberal Fascism: From Mussolini to Gluten-Free Dog Kibble over at Jonah’s special fan club site. Jonah reprints an email from one of his special fans:

[B]elieve it or not, there’s a sort of conservative underground that’s banging on the Amazon 1-star ratings of your book to the point where Amazon is taking them down. And I love it! I mean, they’re just disapppearing [sic] them.

Of course, Jonah, given his opposition to anything and all things fascist, was appalled that negative reviews of his book were being “disappeared,” and said so in no uncertain terms. Not:

Delighted for the support. Personally, I wish reviewers at Amazon would just treat this like, you know, a book. Read it, write something about it. But that ship has sailed. I think the fact that I’ve been the #1 new political book in the country (#2 political book overall) for the last few days has made the mouth breathers crazy.*

I suppose Jonah’s defense is that the Nazi’s “disappeared” things written by degenerates, which was wrong, but not stuff written by mouth breathers, which is perfectly okay. Really, this just keeps getting better and better.

* Gavin adds: True for values of ‘a few days’ not exceeding the two days since the book’s release. Not to mention that Jonah’s greatest troubles are from the nosebreathers.


Comments: 42


Absolutely! He’s delighted that the authorities at Amazon are silencing the voices of dissenters who criticize his book that points out the fascism of those who oppose conservatives such as him! It doesn’t contradict the issues he raises in his book, indeed, it is central to his point.




You guys are missing the point. Fascism, as Jonah describes it, is whatever Jonah says it is. And he says that criticizing his book is fascism. Therefore, all criticism of his book must be VERBOTEN, because Der Fuehrer – er, Master Shake says it is fascism.

And of course, when liberals try to censor his book (and by censor, we use it in the Goldbergian sense of “Make fun of and point out chronic deceit”), they are, again, being fascists.

The only way they could not be called fascists is if liberals agreed with it whole-heartedly and kept their mouths shut because Jonah would give permission for them to not be fascists if they don’t say anything … until he thinks of some way that it DOES make them fascists.


Jonah doesn’t have a defense. If he read a history book (a minor miracle in itself), he’d probably come to the conclusion that the Nazis were right to disappear degenerate writers. After all, he certainly wouldn’t have been suppressed if he’d been alive then.

See, it’s only fascism rooted from Nazism when liberals are involved. That’s why all the right-wing Nazis aren’t the problem that liberal fascism is.

Indeed, this is central to my point.

All unseemly questions about his heritage would likely go unanswered by Mawmaw Goldberg.


WTF? Did the trolls get mad because they were making themselves sick to their own stomachs by defending Master Shake and … whatever that Huston thing is?

Come on, guys. Be fair. Write a post about one of the conservatives who is merely dumb, instead of concentrating on those who are both dumb AND repulsive.

What’s Megan up to these days?


Libs who mock this book are trying to censure it and are traitors, therefore they’re comments should be disappeared. It is not censureship, its just good editing. Of course this is exactly what I would expect: the Nazi’s burned books, and now the liberals, they’re political descendents, are “burning” Jonah’s book by unfairly reviewing it — without reading it first (it just came out yesterday and is 400 pages long. yeah right you read it already, liers).


Megan? Hell, it’s time to do a post of Amber Pawlik again, and mire these trolls in discussion of velveeta, mayonnaise and store-bought cookie dough. Spread it out across the terrain like a giant trail of slug-bait, and maybe we can trap them.

Tim (the other one)

Ship of Books. I loved Oscar Werner in that flick and film.


Stu, are you new here…..?

this kind of crap isn’t really good enough, pal. the book was reviewed in depth by Sadly No hq before Xmas (or should I say the pagan winter festival, as us atheist, traitor scum don’t celebrate Xmas). Please keep up.


How many daggers beside this puppy, do you think?

Wingnut welfare buys five hundred at a time, leaves them in a warehouse sale where they try to get back 10 cents on the fifteen dollars…


Stu is short for Stupid.

The Goldberg Gestapo accuses liberals of mind control and censorship. This from the Amazon site:

– censored by liberals
– censored by the left
-…liberal fascists who want to control what people think…will be advocating a book burning because of the dangerous ideas presented in [Goldberg’s book]

Disliking a book is not censorship. Laughing at a book is not censorship. Criticizing a book is not censorship. Neoconservatives beg to differ and seem to have redefined censorship to mean criticism.

Neoconservatives respond to negative reviews by deleting them altogether, an action which befits with the official definition of censorship.

If they can’t suppress your thoughts they’ll reveal your secret agent spouse’s identity.


If they can’t suppress your thoughts they’ll reveal your secret agent spouse’s identity.
I am in a quandary here. The Frau Doktorin Penny might turn out to be Wonder Woman, and that would be cool. On the other hand, she could turn out to be an avatar of Kali. How about if I let Them suppress my thoughts by 50%, and in return they merely drop broad hints about her identity?


the fact that I’ve been the #1 new political book in the country

Jonah is a book?

Softcover, I presume. With a big typeface, and lots of LOLCat pictures.

Regards, C


[…] float that argument. And I’ll try to post more over here. In the meantime, you could read my latest post over at Sadly, No! Permalink No […]


Shalom, gentlemen.


I think Stu Pedasso (say it fast!) is fake Gary under a new name… “censure”, “they’re comments”, “they’re political descendents” , “liers”… this is all too much to be true.


The truth is, it hurts you liberals to see your pathetic one-star reviews disappear, knowing that the reality based reviewers and the staf at Amazon is on to you! No more censoring conservatives!


Pantload was on Scarborough just now. Claimed that the Nazi Party’s full name of National Socialist…was the tell-tale sign of truth. Of course no one pointed out that East Germany was the Democratic Republic of Deutchland.

Joe said 5 minutes wasn’t enough to do the book justice and that he would like to have the Pantload back. Pantload then began to spray resumes by saying “I’d love to come back for rank punditry or the book”.


Man, that would be so awesome if I could just crap out a bunch of crap and call it a “book” and be a guest on honored national media.

It’s not like there are any real, pointy-headed “scholars” with their stupid butt-head “facts” and their totally gay “considering what’s already been established” to interview about Hitler.


Everybody knows that Hitler’s first act against the Jews was to 1 star all their books on Amazon.

Libs doing the same thing to Jonah’s book are just proving him right!!1!one!!


It is time.

We here on Sadly No! must take the first step.

We too must cash in on the right wing “history” publishing bandwagon.

Volume I: History Had A Bunch of Stuff Happen

The book should write itself. We write things that have been widely known for decades, hundreds of years, even thousands of years, but as as if nobody done heard of none of it no uh uh ever.

Then we will mix it all together to come out with whatever stupid conclusions and connection we feel it might pay in our interests to make.

Once this collective bowel movement is finished, we will present it to the serious and noble scholars at the prestigious Hoover Institution so we can get us one a’ them cash up front 4 star reviews.


Libs who mock this book are trying to censure it and are traitors

God, why don’t these guys learn a little about words? You know, the things that are in real books. Censure? They don’t even make good trolls because they can’t spell and they use words wrong all the time.

“Censureship”. Nice.

The definition of fascist, the noun, from WordNet:

an adherent of fascism or other right-wing authoritarian views

Notice that says right-wing authoritarian? Fascism always includes extreme nationalism and racism, too. That would be guys like you, Stu(pid), by definition.


First they took down the one star reviews…

Then they took down the customer images….

Sigh, we’ll always have Photobucket.


Actual books on amazon’s “Bestsellers in Books” list that could be confused with a Jonah Goldberg book:

In Defense of Food: An Eater’s Manifesto

Water for Elephants

Happy for No Reason

The Omnivore’s Dilemma

The Four Hour Workweek

I Am America (sadly, yes!)

You: On a Diet

The Glass Houses Castle

Free Lunch

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders

What Got You Here Won’t Get You There



Shorter Fucking Idiots: Only actual censorship can prevent what we have decided to call “censorship!”

So, apparently, opinions are fascist, which makes things tricky because Jonah told me “expertise” (i.e. facts) is fascist too. I’m trying desperately to think non-fascist thoughts but I don’t really see what’s left.


Thinking thoughts is fascist, Jake. You’re boned.


As you know, allowing the opinions of your political opponents to be heard freely is one of the cornerstones of fascist ideology. I’m glad that the good patriots at Amazon are willing to courageously stand up against oppression by deleting all opinions critical of the Pantload. Oh, and Freedom is Slavery to.

Phil Moskowitz, Lovable Rogue

Being boned is fascist.


You are all aware that freedom of speech, much like universal healthcare and tofu is inherently fascist, right?


Uh-oh. There is one two-star review left. But I guess just one is OK because it averages out to 4 1/2 stars overall.


I resent his co-opting of “mouthbreathers”; that’s our term! We’ve been using it for years. As in “the mouthbreathers on the right can’t even come up with their own insults”


My review was deleted and 45 out of 76 thought it helpful. Helpful, I say.

How does that work?

Did I read the whole thing? No, but I read enough of it here, other places online and in my local Borders to know it was garbage. I mean, if I smell dog shit do I have to eat it just to make sure I am not being unfair to it?

Plus, I am sure the wonderful 5-star review that didn’t fall off the wingnut welfare gravy train were written by fans who waited all night in the pouring rain just to get their hands on a copy like it was Use Your Illusion I & II.


I don’t know if anybody has linked to it yet, but I refer all the trolls to David Neiwert’s brilliant takedown of Doughboy on The American Prospect:

Maybe we should link to this on Amazon and see what happens.


The definition of fascist, the noun, from WordNet:

an adherent of fascism or other right-wing authoritarian views

Well of course WordNet would say that. The academic intallectual socialist elites are a bunch of socialists who have been covering up for the last half a century the fact that the National Socialists were (duh) socialists. Therefore anything they have to say about it is a lie, because communists lie reflexively, and cannot be trusted. The only way to know is that they are part of this historical cover-up, which is why they say that. It’s self-evident if you think about it, which you don’t because you are invested in the lie.

All academics like the dictionary-stapo at WordNet really want is to re-establish fascism, which nobody else wants (except gays and women and especially athiests) so they have to make up all kinds of lies about it. Thank our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ that Jonah Goldberg is a good Christian who knows better than to believe so-called historians.


Cangrejero, that’s real mature, making fun of my name. And the spelling misteaks too — it’s like, if I post without any errors I’m a fake troll because I can write like an adult. If I throw in a couple of stupid misteaks, I’m a fake troll because of that. How can I become a real troll?

Johnny Coelacanth

“How can I become a real troll?”

First you have to ask the Blue Fairy, and/or wish upon a star with a talking cricket. Once your application is accepted, you’ll be swallowed by a whale or turned into an ass, depending on whale availability. If the applicant is found to already be an ass, instead of a troll, you will like pie.


I notice he’s up to the top ten in book sales at Amazon.


{{{I don’t know if anybody has linked to it yet, but I refer all the trolls to David Neiwert’s brilliant takedown of Doughboy on The American Prospect:

Maybe we should link to this on Amazon and see what happens.}}}

Just wanted to point out, Jonah links to Neiwert’s critique on his own blog. And several other negative reviews of his book.

So ummm…. how exactly is he in favor of censorship?


Pantload was on Scarborough just now. Claimed that the Nazi Party’s full name of National Socialist…was the tell-tale sign of truth.

right. and we all know north korea — excuse me, i mean the democratic people’s republic of korea — is a thriving democracy.


How can I become a real troll?

Try living under a bridge for a while.


[…] writes about Jonah’s weepy breakdowns over the endless ridicule Liberal Fascism has endured: I don’t really understand why Jonah’s so touchy about his […]


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