Jonah In Da Middle

Mysteriously, all of the Amazon customer reviews for Jonah Goldberg’s Liberal Fascism have disappeared.*

All except this one, that is:

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A brilliant piece of research, January 8, 2008
By Peter F. Schweizer (Tallahassee, Florida United States)

The amount research that has gone into this book is amazing. Those who attack Goldberg from the Left will undoubtedly avoid mentioning the facts presented in this work. Check out, for example, the admiration that Benito M. had for JM Keynes and his ideas. This is a book that should be read by anyone concerned about the power of the state. Peter Schweizer, Hoover Institution

Ah yes, Peter F. Schweitzer. Here’s the top Amazon review for Schweitzer’s book, Do As I Say (Not As I Do): Profiles in Liberal Hypocrisy:

5.0 out of 5 stars
Meticulously Researched, Deftly Argued, October 25, 2005
By Wynton C. Hall

The quality of investigative research in this book would make even Woodward and Bernstein proud. What’s so difficult to understand is how the liberals he profiles have flown under the radar screen for so long. Why have reporters and television journalists not uncovered the explosive findings Schweizer uncovers? The answer, of course, is that reporters don’t find what they aren’t looking for. And it’s sad, honestly, because the level of ideologically driven reporting has further eroded the fourth estate.

[…]

Reporters and those profiled have some major explaining to do. This will become an instant conservative classic and raise some eyebrows from honest liberals as well.

Ah yes, Wynton C. Hall. Here’s an interview at Jonah’s main shack, NRO, with the authors of Landmark Speeches of the American Conservative Movement, Peter F. Schweitzer and Wynton C. Hall.

After some thought, we’ve settled on a term for this endemic practice of conservative logrolling. Such an arrangement will henceforth be called ‘a square jerk.’


* Correction: The ‘reviews’ we were thinking of are in the discussion section at the bottom of the page. This is the first customer review, since the book reached its official publication date today. I believe this only strengthens our point! (All such phrases ©1998-2008, Jonah Goldberg.)


Update: Groan. USA Today is featuring a whole extra load of Jonah’s crackpot revisionism, this time on Putin’s invocations of FDR, and how FDR was a fascist and so is Putin, and therefore George W. Bush is the opposite of what fascist liberals call ‘a fascist.’

Is it possible for a conservative to have an idea so stupid that he isn’t rewarded for it?

[Hanx! Cleek]

 

Comments: 103

 
 
 

Ah yes. A splendid example of the old Spy magazine feature called “Logrolling In Our Time.”

 
 

Ok, I don’t have any idea how Amazon reviews work. How did he make them take them all down? Or did he do it? Did Amazon decide to do it on their own? Somebody ‘splain this to me…

mikey

 
 

Ah yes. A splendid example of the old Spy magazine feature called “Logrolling In Our Time.”

*sigh* I miss Spy magazine.

 
Grand Moff Texan
 

You’re not being fair. I mean, no one else is going to help them push laughable bullshit in the service of a dead ideology propped up only by raw cash, so they have to do this themselves.
.

 
 

Make sure to check out the tags associated with the book:

doughy pantload (98)

propaganda (86)

wingnut welfare (76)

editor promised cake (61)

i can has job mom (49)

 
 

Broadsided again, eh Pantload?

 
 

A splendid example of the old Spy magazine feature called “Logrolling In Our Time.”

And, just as was the case in Spy, we could get Tom Wolfe involved, if only , if only he had written a new book and if only Jonah had praised it.

 
 

I was thinking more a daisy-chain…

 
 

Make sure to check out the tags associated with the book:

Man, how about:
banged out by howler monkeys (7)

books by rubes (3)

and

attend to luicannes bunions (2)

 
 

Hell, I think the fact that the three losers in question aren’t blood relatives of one another represents astounding progress towards meritocracy in the wingnutosphere.

Granted, maybe it’s just because Mommy was in the depths of a Bartles & Jaymes-induced “nap” when Jonah approached her to write the review…

 
 

Just keep pressing “no” for “Was this review helpful” ?

What shameless wingnuts.

 
 

I didn’t even realize there were any comments before. In any case, if there were any, they probably took them down because the book technically wasn’t unleashed from the depths of Hell released to the public until today.

 
 

That’s pretty pathetic even for that crowd. I suppose the fact that most of the Amazon reviews were (I’m guessing) critical of Doughey’s foam book is yet more proof of liberal repression, and they had to be removed (except for Schweitzer’s, who is obviously fair and balanced, unlike all the others) for the sake of getting the truth out. How courageous of you Jonah!

 
 

hilarious! I love thin-skinned conservatives.

 
 

Mind bendingly stupid. LSD is far less disorienting than a conservative circle jerk. The number of unprovable assumptions, hyperbolic hypotheses and facts pulled straight from their asses contained in this simple referral to three of these dolts would, if it were explosives, be enough to destroy the I-95 corridor from Baltimore to New York.

 
 

Could it also be true that never before has this argument been made with such care or in such detail?

 
 

It appears they took it down because it was not released until today and the assumption is anyone reviewing it before today could not have read it. They should let people post reviews now, however. If they don’t, then we should feel free to start screaming.

 
 

The “Gastroanomalies” listed in the other interesting books section just kills me. Also, I swear the Sponsored Links had two weight loss books. These links rotate so I am not seeing them now, but they were there!

 
 

I wonder why they bothered. It will be so easy for people to pull up their old reviews or recreate then and post them again…

 
 

Where do you go to look for the bulk-buy statistics?

 
 

Anton Chigurh said,

January 8, 2008 at 21:26

The “Gastroanomalies” listed in the other interesting books section just kills me.

Yeah, that one always comes up when I look at his book.

 
Tim (the other one)
 

“Could it also be true that never before has this argument been made with such care or in such detail ?”

Indeed !!

 
 

Yeah, that one always comes up when I look at his book.

Along with breakfast.

 
 

It’s back!!! Free Weight Loss Coaching at http://www.dietbug.com

Must be the tags that get picked up by Amazon’s advert software.

What a fantastic unintended benefit of “editor promised cake!”

 
 

Careful research indicates there are multiple vegetarian restaurants in Tallahassee. If there are also health clubs, we will all know what to think about Herr Schweizer.

 
 

A “square jerk” ???

Is that like “jerky cookie” for wingnuts, except everybody eats the cookie instead of just the last guy to, ahem, finish?

I’m so confused.

 
 

Jonah in Da Middle

It’s like some horrible Super-Stuffd Wingnut Oreo.

 
 

Today, a lot of stupider people will be created.

 
 

Future humans who are today trapped in a pre-womb state will regret that they were not here for the publication of this book, a work in the face of which Newton would have abandoned both science and alchemy, and which would have made Shakespeare turn instead to bowling and tennis, since there would no longer be any point of attempting to write drama which matched the beauty and truth of this prose.

 
 

Newton? You know the Nazis’ artillery calculations wouldn’t have worked were it not for Newton… he was the original Liberal Fascist…

 
 

Oh, and Galileo too.

 
 

They took my review but I think you have to use a real name.

 
 

Technically, this doesn’t quite count for logrolling, since Schweitzer didn’t review a book by Hall.

“Square jerk” will be completed once Jonah reviews “Magnificent Bastards: Tools Of the Bush Administration I Have Known”, by Hall.

Of course, it’s a three-sided square, but conservatives never were much of ones for geometry.

 
 

Cangrejero said, January 8, 2008 at 22:02

Newton? You know the Nazis’ artillery calculations wouldn’t have worked were it not for Newton… he was the original Liberal Fascist…

Yes, and that would be important if the Nazis had been important fascists. But as we have learned from this book which totally changed how we thought about everything the moment it even thought about being published, the fascists who are important for history are the real ones on the left, the liberal fascists like grade school teachers who sent Jo’berg to time out because he was sad when recess ended, until his mother finally saved the world from the liberal fascists and let Jonah have recess for the rest of his life.

 
 

Never before has so little been anticipated so long by so few!

That would be my review.

Wonderful! Never has a tome met our expectations so well in all particulars. Both weighty and deep! –
National Doorstop Collector’s Association review.

 
 

your correction is fab, Gavin.

 
Incontinentia Buttocks
 

For some reason I found this Pantload-related Amazon page particularly funny.

 
 

Did you guys get a low to the two tags with “Censored by” in them? Somebody don’t know what censored means.

But seriously, as funny as so many of those are (I’m still giggling over ‘banged out by howler monkeys’) I love books, and I actually like amazon.com, I worry that abuse of the tags is a bad thing. But then again, people getting money for such crap like Master Shake’s magnum opus here is bad too.

 
 

Shit sandwich.

That would be my review.

 
 

I have a suggestion, inspired by some previous insightful, brilliant comments above by such people as myself and me.

What if some as yet unknown group of people, perhaps on some internet blog somewhere which I’ve never seen, compted as to who could write the most impossibly, outlandishly laudatory 1 paragraph reviews of Liberal Fat-Systems: Give Me Back My Snickers which are guaranteed to both confuse and perhaps deter the intended readership?

 
 

So um, Jonah has censored all but one review (his own perhaps?) How fascistic of him!

Btw, this little item may interest Americans:

January 8, 2008 VANCOUVER SUN

Our health care rated ‘excellent value’
New British study gives Canada’s system high marks for preventing people from dying from treatable conditions

Joanne Laucius, CanWest News Service

OTTAWA — Canada’s health care system offers “excellent value for the money” says a British researcher who has studied preventable deaths in 19 industrialized nations.

The study, to be released today in Health Affairs, looks at “amenable mortality” — deaths that would not have occurred if effective health care had been available.

Conditions that caused these deaths included bacterial infections, treatable cancers, diabetes, some cardiovascular disease and the complications of common surgical procedures. The study, which looked at figures from 2002-03, updated a similar report based on 1997-98 figures. Its goal was to compare amenable deaths in the United States with 14 western European nations, plus Canada, Australia, New Zealand and Japan.

The study also tracked whether gaps in these countries had narrowed or widened. The figures were computed according to amenable deaths per 100,000 population under the age of 75. In the first study, the researchers found that amenable deaths in the U.S. stood at 114.74 per 100,000 population, exceeded only by Ireland, Portugal, Finland and the United Kingdom.

In that time period, Canada’s amenable mortality rate was 88.77 — the seventh-lowest rate after France, Japan, Spain, Australia, Sweden and Italy. In the most recent study, Canada’s amenable death rate had dropped to 76.83, putting Canada sixth after France, Japan, Australia, Spain and Italy.

Meanwhile, amenable mortality rates in the U.S. have barely budged from 114.74 to 109.65 in 2002-03, taking the U.S. from 15th place to last place among the 19 countries.

“This study shows that Canada’s health system has performed very well in its ability to prevent people from dying from treatable conditions,” said Martin McKee, a researcher at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, and co-author of the study.

“While everyone has to die from something, sometime, in an ideal world, no-one would die from the causes we have looked at, in the age groups we have included.” Of course, we don’t live in an ideal world, said said McKee.

“However, the bottom line is that the Canadian health system delivers outcomes that are substantially better than those in its southern neighbour.”

More importantly, outcomes in Canada are improving more quickly than those in the U.S., he said. “Given that the U.S health care system is far more expensive, this suggests that Canadians are getting excellent value for money.”

The researchers expect there will be further improvements in amenable mortality rates in industrialized countries, but the rate will slow down.

The most significant gains were made in the 1970s and 1980s, when drugs to treat common conditions such as hypertension became widely available, said McKee. That raises questions about whether the U.S. will be able to narrow the gap between itself and countries with much lower amenable mortality rates, he said.

“Other research shows that many Americans are unable to afford the prescription drugs they need. So, if some future administration can tackle this then we could see real improvements there.”

 
 

He already got a less than favorable review in the WSJ (yes, the Wall Street Journal).

 
 

Jonah In Da Middle
Shit sandwich

I have nothing else to say.

 
 

Private Eye just rounded up its back-scratching literary plugs of 2007. Always fun.

So, when will D.P. begin his Comedy Central plugathon?

 
 

Okie, I’ve been holding off on this for a while but I can’t resist anymore.

How did the doughy pantload thing come about? I’ve search but all I can find is people calling Jonah one, but no reference as to why. Is there an origin story?

 
 

All references to my point are critical, and only serve to strengthen him further.

 
Incontinentia Buttocks
 

Thanks for the link, I Like Trike.

The politics lurking in the background of that negative WSJ must be fascinating.

It’s by the historian Fred Siegel, sometime I-didn’t-leave-the-Democratic-Party-the-Democratic-Party-left-me culturally conservative liberal who became a neocon (though he might reject this last title) and Rudy Giuliani’s hagiographer.

Interesting that he would speak some truth to Pantload in the pages of Murdoch’s latest venture.

 
 

We hear a lot about the Pantload’s wingnut mom, Lucianne. But we never hear a peep about the father.

I suspect it was Rube Goldberg.

I can’t wait to see what books Amazon recommends to purchase along with this excresence. My guess would be “Enemas For Dummies”.

 
 

“DP” concept created by Norbizness and perfected by ????

 
 

But we never hear a peep about the father.

He’s still pissed about the IUD failure.
.

 
 

I finally got around to reading Harry Frankfurt’s On Bullshit, which I realize is a little late and all, but I feel like someone could do a really, really good post on Liberal Fascism using the concepts her talks about. Frankfurt’s definition of bullshit (a lack of concern for the truth) is super solid for the kind of masturbatory rhetoricizing and loose association to facts that pretty much define the way he writes. I mean, Jonah’s not just lying, he’s just piling it on like mad.

 
a different mikey
 

You know I had only heard of the Pantload here at SN! and the tBogg. I don’t read the LA Times, would never go to NRO if it was the last thing on the toobz, don’t have a TV. I enjoyed the laughs but always thought you folks were, well, exaggerating. Nobody could be such a putz.

Then yesterday I was listening to HenPR and there he was, doing a bit about how Huckabee is going to ruin the conservative movement (ahem). He got stupid all over the inside of my truck! There’s some kind of event horizon around his brain that turns everything to boneheaded crushing idiocy.

Now I see why y’all have given him such special attention. Please carry on.

 
 

David Neiwart’s snark-free review of I Never Said I Was Going to Discuss Hegel: Where Are My Pop-Tarts?.

 
 

Cangrejero said,

January 8, 2008 at 22:02

Newton? You know the Nazis’ artillery calculations wouldn’t have worked were it not for Newton… he was the original Liberal Fascist…

Oh, and Galileo too.

And don’t forget Coriolis, who noticed that artillery shells always hooked to the right due to the rotational inertia of the Earth.

 
Arky - Fascitanata
 

They say laughter is the best medicine but cracking up at work makes the co-workers think you need medication.

And the tags, the tags at the bottom of the Amazon page!

[Slides under desk]

 
 

Which finally brings me to the point of this column. There’s a delightful new book out called Do As I Say (Not As I Do), by Peter Schweizer. And what makes it particularly delightful is that it goes after the anti-hypocrisy jihadists. I may not be obsessed with “rooting out hypocrisy” from American life. But who among us can’t have some fun watching the leading anti-hypocrisy crusaders exposed for betraying their core values?

Jonah Goldberg, “The Secret Files of the Anti-Hypocrite Squad: A Mirror to the Left.” National Review Online (October 28, 2005).

 
 

#

Incontinentia Buttocks said,

January 8, 2008 at 22:16

For some reason I found this Pantload-related Amazon page particularly funny.

I noticed the other item on that page was The Point DVD. Another tag for that film was “fairy tales for simple people”. But alas, Jonah’s book doesn’t appear under that tag.

 
 

My review:

This book is even better than SWAP.avi.

That is all.

 
 

Dagoril said,

January 8, 2008 at 22:54

We hear a lot about the Pantload’s wingnut mom, Lucianne. But we never hear a peep about the father.

Sid died several years ago (1992, I think).

 
 

The Gastroanomalies book is penned by none other than James Lileks.

It really is a shame that Lileks has gone so far overboard, because he really is the King of Random Ephemera. I used to really get a kick out of his site.

Until I read the Bleat.

 
 

Blue Buddha said,

January 8, 2008 at 23:18

And don’t forget Coriolis, who noticed that artillery shells always hooked to the right due to the rotational inertia of the Earth.

But he discovered this in the men’s room at the Minneapolis Airport, so I suspect he might have been Republican.

 
 

Another tag for that film was “fairy tales for simple people”. But alas, Jonah’s book doesn’t appear under that tag.

An omission I just fixed.

 
 

“Sid died several years ago (1992, I think)”

Persepacious of him!

Notice the price for this book was 27.99, marked down to 16.99. I could swear it was $18.99 yesterday, but I’m not sure and I don’t have the time to check it further, nor do I need to. Which doesn’t mean I’m lazy, indeed it is central to my point.

I am eagerly awaiting Jon Swift’s review.

 
 

ten pounds of crap in a five pound book (7)
cheetohnacht (2)
lodenhosen (1)
nerf pundit (1)
professional simpleton (2)

 
 

ten pounds of crap in a five pound book

I’ll take credit for that one, thanks. 🙂

 
 

Fozzetti,

Amazon bases the bold-print price on some bizarre average of all vendors selling the book thru the site.

So if a hundred thousand vendors couldn’t GIVE the book away, and one jerk actually paid $2.7 million for a goldplated copy complete with Monica Lewinski’s blue dress, the average would work out to $27.99 and be bolded.

 
Tim (the other one)
 

ten pounds of crap in a five pound book (7)
cheetohnacht (2)
lodenhosen (1)
nerf pundit (1)
professional simpleton (2)

Killin’ Me !!!!

 
Arky - Fascitanata
 

It really is a shame that Lileks has gone so far overboard, because he really is the King of Random Ephemera. I used to really get a kick out of his site.

Until I read the Bleat.

I discovered Lileks through tGoFC and never checked out his column. Years later I saw him mentioned (unfavorable) in a blog.

To this day I still have trouble reconciling Lileks King of Snark with Lileks Whiny Ass Bush Supporter. It’s like he has MPD or something.

 
 

In response to this:

We hear a lot about the Pantload’s wingnut mom, Lucianne. But we never hear a peep about the father.

and to Niewert’s review (albany layman at 23:09), which discusses, upon other topics, academic work on fascism and its definition,

I bring you this:

Some of your critics focus on the fact that you’re not an academic, so should the fact that no book like this has been written in the sixty years since the end of the Fascist regime be taken as evidence that you’re just smoking crack, or is it an indictment of the academy?

Since I’m currently not smoking crack, I personally take it as an indictment of the academy. I plead absolutely guilty that I’m not an academic, I mean, how am I going to deny that? I think there’s a certain guild mentality that comes into play where a lot of academics try to shoot the messenger and say the substance of what I have to say doesn’t matter because I don’t carry the right guild card in my wallet.

My Dad, who died two years ago, never finished his PhD but he had a Master’s in philosophy, he was working on his PhD in East European history and he was a serious Jewish intellectual autodidact. I grew up having conversations with him about this stuff from a very young age and I’ve always been interested in it. I think it is a fascinating commentary on academia that I had to learn about most of this stuff from non-academics. There’s a lot of this in Paul Johnson and in Ledeen, and there are a few academics who have made some of these points, James Gregor has, Josh Muravchik’s History of Socialism was very useful for a lot of this stuff. Basically, this just doesn’t fit into the group-think and so you get bludgeoned for daring to say that the emperor has no clothes.

As Tom Wolfe said in the blurb for the book, it’s the greatest hoax in modern history that we were convinced that Fascism and National Socialism were phenomena of the Right. I take it as a badge of honor that I’m not an academic, shame on them that no one else has written this book.

From Vox Day’s interview with Jonah Goldberg. Your reading the whole thing will be central to my point.

 
Tim (the other one)
 

“a certain guild mentality”

Indeed, this is central to my following point. In my line of work, there are guitar players and guitar owners. Sometimes they’re mutually exclusive and not members of the same guild.

 
Tim (the other one)
 

oh and I forgot. MY Dad could make himself invisible !

 
 

Its like there isn’t a highly respected conservative scholar of fascism who has secured a esteemed place in the academy. Oh wait. There is. His name is Stanley Payne, and I am sure he would never sign his name on something that claimed that ‘Hitler was a man of the left’.

 
 

Indeed, some build Guild guitars while others play Guild guitars. This, too, is central to my point.

 
Principal Blackman
 

cheetohnacht (2)
lodenhosen (1)

Holy shit, these two are funny. “Cheetohnacht.” Fuckin’ classic.

 
 

Oy.
It annoys me, but, having read it, I still don’t think anyone besides the idiot few who still support Bush and think we found the WMDs Saddam used on 9/11 in Iran and hippies won’t let us do anything about it will be able to take it the least bit seriously.
And it’s too long. The kind of people who’ll fall for Jonah’s kind of “scholarship” have never read a 400 page book in their life, and the folk who read long works regularly won’t have the patience to read more than 50 pages of it. I’ve only managed about half. It’s just terrible. I knew an untreated schizophrenic who had more convincing arguments that she was the female equivalent of Jesus and history was generated by echoes of her moods than Jonah has in LibFasc.
That might be the horrible genius of it. The book is so god awful no one who’s capable of responding to every horrible, stupid, inversion of reality based argument is capable of finishing it. I don’t know if Dave Neiwert knows quite what he’s getting into, but I wish him luck. If he survives, it’ll be a brilliant multi-part piece.

 
Tim (the other one)
 

Well ,that could be “begging the question” or “guilding the lily” as it were but I’ll assume you’ll take that as a badge of honor J.

 
 

Self-correcting, self-conscience, mierenneukering blogosphere of one, activate!

upon among other topics

 
Tim (the other one)
 

“history was generated by echoes of her moods”

Wait; you mean that isn’t how history’s generated ?

Shit. All this time…..

 
 

Jonah Goldberg has more intelligence than all you boring un-funny liberals put together! By the way liberals still suck!

mikey smells like shit

 
 

You liberals love to make fun of President Bush for supposedly being stupid, lets see any of you retards try to handle the stress of the Presidency! Or did all that pot kill your brain cells.

mikey smells like shit

 
 

Jonah Goldberg has more intelligence than all you boring un-funny liberals put together! By the way liberals still suck!

mikey smells like shit

Welcome to the board, Jonah!

 
Arky - Fascitanata
 

LoededHosen sez:
“Since I’m currently not smoking crack…”

Which implies that if you check back in a few minutes he might be sucking on a rock.

 
 

We hear a lot about the Pantload’s wingnut mom, Lucianne. But we never hear a peep about the father.

Sid died several years ago (1992, I think).

Sid Dithers?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNUdHEpvt9Q
or
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMSq2TqL1nk

I hope those links work…I can’t confirm on work machine because it blocks youtube.

 
 

Welcome to the board, Jonah!

No, that would be too good if it was the simpering little shit.

It’s Bastion Booger, aka Kevin, aka Fake Gary, aka Fucking Saul

 
Tim (the other one)
 

They work Lesley. Thanks for the memories.Perfect.

 
 

Hey, mods-

What’s up with the Whois on mikeysmellslikeshit?

Does the IP look familiar?

In fact, you guys are much less than forthcoming about these trolls. You know where from whence the trolls come, yet don’t ever help us out.

 
 

Which implies that if you check back in a few minutes he might be sucking on a _ock.

Now lets see…Which letter would fit the best in this statement about Jonah?

 
 

a different brad said,

January 9, 2008 at 0:24
I knew an untreated schizophrenic who had more convincing arguments that she was the female equivalent of Jesus and history was generated by echoes of her moods than Jonah has in LibFasc.

You’re talking about Anne Heche, right? 😉

 
 

Read some of those comments on the USA Today site. Woo.

Does arguing about Jonah Goldberg’s BS help or hinder human civilization? Unfortunately, it does seem like arguing helps. I say “unfortunately” because even having to argue against that logically mush-headed crap is painful and insulting…

But if not argued with and appropriately mocked, that’s the sort of crap that gains traction with the unwary.

Good thing there’s a whole lot of mocking going on.

 
 

[Nationalism and socialism] were both organized around the principle that parliamentary democracy was a fraud—that the working class, unable to grasp its own predicament, was best served by an elite that knew what was best for it. — Fred Siegel’s WSJ review

Sooo unlike Straussian economic thought. Oh, wait, Straussians applaud the “intellectual elite”, not the political elite!

In “Politics and the English Language,” George Orwell wrote that “the word Fascism has now no meaning except in so far as it signifies ‘something not desirable.'” Finishing “Liberal Fascism,” the reader is likely to come to the same conclusion.

And that luzer Orwell died broke and consumptive, while Doughy Jonah has a pantload of dollars and a nationwide promotion tour!

Gavin, I don’t think you can legitimately use a harsh verb like “jerk” in connection with the Doughy Pantload and his enablers Conservatard fellows. Their mutual “mental”-masturbation sessions are more of a circle fondle. Prolonged, inconclusive, absent-minded stroking of each others’ tender soulflesh, leading to nothing more harsh or energy-expensive than another nap snuffled together in the warm soft trough of Wingnut Welfare Wankery…

They’re like a pillowsack full of very young piglets, except that piglets are smarter and cuter and actually serve some purpose in the world.

 
 

The D.P. has been informed of the googlebomb linking Liberal Fascism. I’m sure that Lucianne will be consulting her rolodex to find a way to stop this.

 
Principal Blackman
 

But if not argued with and appropriately mocked, that’s the sort of crap that gains traction with the unwary.

I think it gains traction anyway. That’s the depressing part of all the fun we’re having at DP’s expense: Sure, we know better, and reviewers are skewering the book’s intellectual deficiencies as well, but I’m quite sure that it will catch on with some people–even those beyond 28 percent.

 
 

The D.P. has been informed of the googlebomb linking Liberal Fascism. I’m sure that Lucianne will be consulting her rolodex to find a way to stop this.

Not before she first consults Conservapedia to find out what the fuck “googlebomb” means.

Surprisingly, there’s an entry. Not surprisingly, it’s wrong.

 
 

To this day I still have trouble reconciling Lileks King of Snark with Lileks Whiny Ass Bush Supporter. It’s like he has MPD or something.

He’s basically one of a depressingly large number of people who had something snap in their brain on September 11, 2001 (see also: Dennis Miller).

 
 

My Dad, who died two years ago, never finished his PhD but he had a Master’s in philosophy, he was working on his PhD in East European history and he was a serious Jewish intellectual autodidact.

An autodidact with a Master’s and work toward a PhD? Was he fully accredited?

 
 

Maybe he just had a crappy advisor.

 
 

“snap in their brain on 9/11”?

Yeah motherfucker, how about our Nation being attacked and 3000 innocent men, women and children being murdered for no reason!

So fuck you, you anti-American piece of garbage! Its people like you who make me wonder if this Nation will even survive this century!

mikey smells like shit

 
Hemlock for Gadflies
 

OMG — Square Jerk. Square Jerk. Must repeat until every living human being uses this phrase to describe the RNC-to-Human Events-to-Limbaugh-to-Fox-to-NRO-to-Dobson chain….

 
Hemlock for Gadflies
 

Dr. Hemlock is posting a request for someone to step up and write — only in magazine format — “Conservative Fascism,” or to ask Dr. Hemlock to write it with his pen-name (b/c if he used his real name he would be fired by his conservative fascist boss).

It shouldn’t be hard — just do it like Doughy Pantload — find some fascist saying something that sounds like conservatives, put them together, and voila.

Here’s something to get you going: From the New York Times, Nov 2, 1922. “Mussolini Starts Drastic Reforms; Deep Economies, Check on Bureaucratcy and Sale or Lease of Monopolies Ordered.” Premier Mussolini is not letting any grass grow under his feet. Only two days after he officially assumed power the main lines of his policy have been decided upon and approved unanimously by his Cabinet…The discussion of internal policy chiefly centered on measures to be adopted for balancing the State budget. The discussion started on the basis that it is impossible to increase taxation, because taxes are already so high that if they were increased a falling-off in revenue would result, owing to the withering of industry and enterprise, which cannot bear an increased burden.

“The only possibility, therefore, is to cut down expenses and provide for more efficient collection of taxes…

“A saving will be effected by the introduction of five main reforms…the State will sell or lease to private enterprises all the State monopolies…the State will abolish all Government offices in provincial towns whose continuance is not essential…it will refuse all grants of Government money for public works save in exceptional cases where half the expense is to borne locally. In any case it will oblige the unemployed to go to the places where they can be usefully employed…it will make the salaries of employees in the public services sector dependent on whether they are employed in flourishing concerns or not.

“Minor reforms will include the abolition of free and semi-free railroad passes, the abolition of State subsidies to rail lines…and the simplification of the system of taxation…

“Mussolini intends to ask Parliament for…full powers in order to push the reform of the bureaucratic machinery…the immediate result of these reforms will be an increase of unemployment because they will throw out of work many clearks and other Government employees.”

Now tell me that’s not a CATO institute wet dream…

 
 

Konservative Kommunism! From Freikorps To Fair Tax!

 
 

smellslikeshit, I’d like to congratulate you – your candid admission that you lost your mind on 9/11 demonstrates remarkable self-awareness for a modern American “conservative”.

However, might I suggest that remaining calm, rational and clear-headed are a better response to a crisis situation than going bugfuck insane – and being proud of it?

 
 

“Is it possible for a conservative to have an idea so stupid that he isn’t rewarded for it?”

No.

This has been another edition of snappy answers to depressing questions.

 
 

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