Shorter Tony Blankley

Seeking Psychological Victory in the ‘Global War on Terror’

Above: Features migrating in manner of flounder

  • Sure, the War in Iraq put our great-great-great grandchildren into debt, made the whole world hate us, killed thousands of Americans and left tens of thousands more permanently disabled, not to mention the countless Iraqis left dead or homeless in its wake. But it totally stopped those Vogons from building that overpass through our orbit!

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.

Clif adds: Do ya think that Tony “The Hutt” Blankley got any royalties from George Lucas for being such an obvious model for Jabba?



Comments: 28


If it weren’t for the fact that he’s in a uniform I’d swear R. Adm. Smith was one of the MITTspawn. He’s got that bug-eyed thing going.


“And thank God the president took my advice to build huge ocean lasers costing hundreds of billions each, so that we can live without fear of the giant fire-breathing, man-eating sea lizards that threatened to one day rise from the deep to destroy our freedom!!!”

Jesus wept.


” First, of course, the debit side must be noted, foremost the human cost, to date: about 4,000 dead American troops, about 30,000 injured, perhaps half seriously — including more than 600 amputees and traumatic brain injuries. Many more Iraqis have been killed. The financial cost of the war will run above $1 trillion. We also, at least temporarily, have driven thousands of Muslims into the radical ranks, created great enmity in much of the Muslim world (and not a little in Europe, also).”

Think Tony the Patriot could have kinda, sorta taken the time to maybe-ish get exact figures regarding our troops fatalities and injuries? Perhaps and God forbid, putting down that hoagie for a second or two and using Google?

Really, who said all conservatives are fat and lazy? Oh, yeah. Those with eyes and ears.


Despite such optimism, by 54 percent to 41 percent (virtually unchanged from February’s 53 percent to 42 percent), the public wants our troops to come home rather than stay.

Duh, mf’er.

And that’s not ambiguity:

S: (n) ambiguity (an expression whose meaning cannot be determined from its context)
S: (n) ambiguity, equivocalness (unclearness by virtue of having more than one meaning)
WordNet home page

So, clownhall…america’s shittiest website? Frontpage? NRO?


Wait…That isn’t the Vogon?


But it totally stopped those Vogons from building that overpass through our orbit!

Sez Jabba the Hut.


Wait…That isn’t the Vogon?

He’s no Vogon, but he can write himself some mean poetry.


Shorter Shorter Blankley–

Declare victory and come home. (It “worked” the first time, dinnit?)


Now this is just crazy. There’s no way any of these assclowns can look at that shattered, ungoverned, ethnically cleansed, economic and social basket case of a “country” and look anyone in the eye and say “see? All better now.”

Provencial elections? Postponed.

Parliament. Cannot achieve a quorum.

Maliki government essentially ruling by edict, cannot impose law or even operate safely outside of Baghdad.

Maliki government only kept in power by american soldiers acting as another militia.

Sunnis happily taking american money and weapons and waiting for their chance to take back what they believe to be theirs.

Many cities enjoying reduced violence due to reduced population (refugees), ethnic cleansing, blast barriers between neighborhoods and limited or eliminated vehicle traffic utterly reducing commerce to zero.

Significant amount of oil revenue diverted and smuggled by Shia gangs in Basra. But that’s ok – the government gets their cut.

The place is nothing but Somalia with more petrodollars in play and a lid clamped on tight for now.

Surely, even wearing the rose colored blinders of ideological purity, they MUST be able to see that this isn’t “progress” in any meaning of the word…



Tony Blankley = Ton-Belly Yank
and Nylon Yak Belt

Okay, okay, no more visits to the Anagram-o-rama page for me today.


Nylon Yak Belt as an anagram for Tony Blankley may be teh most appropriate anagram for anything evah.


So today red state has melted down and admitted they can’t fix their own website, because only liberals know how to do stuff like that.

And now, Sean Hannity is chased down the street by paultards.



You know, it’s beginning to a lot like Schadenfreude Christmas…

Smiling Mortician

Dunno. Ton-Belly Yank works pretty well visually. *urp*


I on yur television screen. I prepare an EAT ATTACK. Splorgh murfle splorg. You are FOOD, liberals!

(From the Lovely days of Miguel and Fat Girls in Party Hats)


(From the Lovely days of Miguel and Fat Girls in Party Hats)

It is to funny forever!


Features migrating in manner of flounder
Saliva spraying in manner of angler-fish.


Hey you sass that John Edwards? There’s a hoopy frood who really knows where his towel is.


There’s a hoopy frood who really knows where his towel is.

Hee hee

I’ve long thought that Dumbya enacts the same political theory Zaphod Beeblebrox was put in power for – to distract from the doings of the real leaders. However, relative to Zaphod, our president is missing most of the alcoholism, all of the charm, and two brains.


homosexual = pedophile.

Phoenician in a time of Romans

” Assuming we succeed in establishing a stable government in Iraq that is hostile to terrorists and respectful of the United States and the legitimate order of the world”

Sorta like, say, Saddam Hussein prior to 1990…


Sorta like, say, Saddam Hussein prior to 1990…

It is shaping up as people – including the great Billmon, IIRC – have predicted: now that the Iraq war has clearly become a clusterbuggery and the high-flown “democracy” rhetoric isn’t a currently useful bludgeon to use on liberals, the rightards are flocking to one of two conclusions: kill the wogs, or put a strongman like Saddam in charge. Clearly, according to the tighty-righties, the troubles are happening because Iraqis are inferior brown people who can’t handle democracy, not because the whole invasion enterprise was festeringly stupid and poorly planned and executed.


Conservatives respect authority — the authority of ideas, traditions, morals, religion, customs, reason, law, excellence and so on.

Um, wait. I thought in Jonah’s book he points out one of the hallmarks of Fascism (see – Liberals) is respect for authority and experts??????

Don’t tell me Jonah is inconsistent?


Oops. I posted int he wrong fucking thread.


Surely, even wearing the rose colored blinders of ideological purity, they MUST be able to see that this isn’t “progress” in any meaning of the word…

We’re talking about the same administration that refuses to admit the economy is in the crapper because they honestly believe the market would tank if it were officially acknowledged.


I used to watch McLauglin Group with the sound off, and one of the highlights was to see just how much sweat would drip off Blankley’s porcine face.

Jemand von Niemand

Tony Th’ B on McLaughlin — only in the past two years did he start dressing like something other than a Vegas bookie or a racing tout — interesting for an employee of a right-wing religious cult.


George Wendt, nooo!


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