This caption, which captions this picture, is mine

The Ann Elk version of photo captions, courtesy of TownHall:

The men and woman from hope(ful).

 

Comments: 84

 
 
 

presidential hopeful former presidential hopeful former presidential hopeful former presidential hope former presidential hopeful former presidential hopeful former presidential hopeful former presidential hopeful former presidential hopeful former presidential hopeful former presidential hopeful former presidential hopeful former presidential hopeful former presidential hopeful former presidential hopeful former presidential hopeful former monotonous isn’t it presidential hopeful former presidential hopeful former presidential hopeful former presidential hopeful former…

 
 

I am filled with hope from this caption alone.

 
 

Where’s my red pen?

 
 

WTF? Clearly I need to take my AP Style Book down to Clownhall and beat some stupid muthafuckas.

 
 

Seems to me most anybody reading that caption would a pretty good idea about the fact that these folks are presidential candidates and about their political back stories. So just the names would have sufficed…

mikey

 
 

Oooo! Oooo! Rudy has a cyclops bodyguard whom Mitt is attempting to convert! Look at the picture! Ring Art Bell!

 
Tim (the other one)
 

Hillary looks “shrill” in that photo…

 
 

This comment, which is commentary to this post, is my comment, hopefully.

 
 

Thanks to improper comma usage, Giuliani is listed as a “presidential hopeful former,” as is Huckabee. What’s a presidential hopeful former?

Here’s a good one. I really could not have figured out the sign without that caption.

 
 

Ahem. All captions are thin at one end, much, much thicker in the middle, and then thin at the other end.

 
 

A “presidential hopeful former” is a term from the construction trade, only with presidential hopefuls instead of concrete foundation forms. You get a bunch of presidential hopefuls and lay them in a form and pretty soon you have a good foundation. Don’t forget the moisture barrier though.

 
 

…Democratic presidential hopeful, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, D-N.Y., Republican presidential hopeful, former Sen. Fred Thompson, R-Tenn….

Well, thank goodness they made sure to tell us which party nomination each is seeking….twice….

They say brevity is the soul of wit. Though I have no idea who the fuck “they” are.

 
 

They say brevity is the soul of wit. Though I have no idea who the fuck “they” are.

“They” also say that Brussels Sprouts are good. “They” are clearly idiots…

mikey

 
 

Jennifer,

They have neither souls, nor wit … and sadly neither do they have brevity.

 
 

Chimpanzees, typewriters, some assembly required.

 
 

All you need is hope, all together now.
All you need is hope, everybody.

Sometimes, there’s nothing you can say that hasn’t be said.
I’m just learning how to play the game. It’s easy.

 
 

..oh, and I always forget something. Why in the hell does America need so much Hope?

I’m thinking it’s because of the GOP.

 
 

Actually, photo-caption writing seems to be one of the more difficult skills for J-101 students to learn. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because you have to cram a lot of pertinent information into a very small space, including i.d.-ing everyone in the photo. Which in no way excuses this dumbassery, although it does remind me of the efforts of some of my really “special” students.

 
 

Somewhere there’s a TownHall not missing any idiots?

 
 

Then again, I suppose it’s possible the graphic designer said, “Okay, now gimme a 25-line caption right here…”

 
 

Ha ha ha ha! I said graphic designer when referring to Clown Hall! Hahahaha. I crack myself up sometimes. Okay, I’m going now.

 
 

Sadly, this appears to have come over from teh AP that way.

 
 

Err. Sorry. Maybe here.

 
 

The fact is, some people say that 90% of Democrats are hating USA and can’t be trusted with our security and freedom, they will unleash tyranny to protect pet projects like welfare for Muslim terrorists. We should put them in camps before they really hard our nation.

 
 

Hmm. So much materialist-defeatest thinking here, not surprising for enemies of the State. I am hoping for a military coup that will restore order and the constitution if a Dem is elected. It will be necessary; if not enacted, an unruly patriot mob will take things into their own hands. It would be much neater if the poor leftist dolts were rounded up for their own safety first. Our military is the best equipped for this have higher loyalties. As much as I would be happy to see Kent State recur a thousandfold, it would be disruptive to our economy and attract the nagging and second-guessing of the European sensual materialists and the mau-mauing of Leninist media worldwide. I prefer a swift American victory over the fifth column and a bloodless coup.

Osher Doctorow, PhD.

 
 

That’s likely the cutline provided by the AP photographer. AP photographers (or their editors) tend to be a tad wordy when it comes to cutlines.

 
 

Oh, and nice try at a Gary, but that is obviously a faux Ruppert.

 
 

In a way, that’s even worse news Justin. Is the AP hiring Regent U grads now?

 
 

So much hope. So little action.

 
 

Thanks Justin. There really is no excuse for that shit. Since my book is at work I forget exactly how it goes but it should be something like Former Gov. Mitt Romney (R-Massive Flip-flops), Sen. Hilary Rodham Clinton (D-NY) and so on. Presidential hopefuls – Yep, already in the first line. I think 99.9% of the people could figure out the R candidates are Republican hopefuls and D candidates are Democratic hopefuls without saying it over and over and over again.

[Bangs head on desk]

 
 

they will unleash tyranny to protect pet projects like welfare for Muslim terrorists.

Oh, I like this idea. Thank you Gary, for posing this! One wonders who exactly is sponsoring Muslim terrorist welfare, but it seems like a great thing for some legislator to put their name on!

Muslim terrorist welfare! They get books of stamps to supplement their purchases at gun shows. They get cards to swipe to buy ammo. They have case workers come round to see if they’re maintaining their evil-doer status enough. I like it!

 
Qetesh the Qaveat Qat
 

We should put them in camps before they really hard our nation.

Oooh, baby, I’m gonna hard yo’ nation.

 
 

As much as I would be happy to see Kent State recur a thousandfold, it would be disruptive to our economy and attract the nagging and second-guessing of the European sensual materialists and the mau-mauing of Leninist media worldwide.

Mmmm. Where do I sign up to join the European Sensual Materialist movement? Sounds H-o-t!

 
 

Fake Garys, please stop trying to imitate Lolcatz spelling.
When I was growing up, a Lolcat was a Lolcat and a troll was a troll and there was none of this newfangled most-podernist transgressing of boundaries

 
 

I am completely against a welfare program for Muslim terrorists. It is about time that we realize it would be much less expensive and far more efficient to directly implement a Federal Muslim Terrorism Administration to give them jobs, jobs that would make them respect themselves, jobs that would give them training so that our Muslim Terrorists would be competitive in the international Muslim Terrorist marketplace.

I am sick and tired of people underestimating what this country can accomplish once we determinedly apply our minds and left eyelids to a task.

 
 

Ummm, dood, I think it’s too late.

Near as I can tell, our nation has already been harded.

Without a nice dinner. Without lube. And no, I don’t want a cigarette.

I feel like DiffBrad at the UN…

mikey

 
Captain B.J. Smethwick (Mrs.)
 

Dear Sir, I would like to voice my strong disapproval to the implication that AP writers are functionally illiterate. As an editor for the AP, I can state catagorically that we now have the problem relatively under control, and it is the UPI that now employs by far the largest number of monosyllabic cretins. And who do you think works for FOX News? Post docs from Oxford? Yours etc. Captain B.J. Smethwick (Mrs.)

 
 

I thought John Bolton done bloweded up the UN and we didn’t have to worry no more about them coming in here and making us marry the gays and be all Pagan and have weird new money with Masonic faces on it?

 
 

Yeeow!

Dr. Osher Doctorow is just too good to be real. Blessed are the internets, for they save the cache:

End Terrorism Forum, 2001:

sez Dr. Doctorow-
They probably range from direct collaborators or
even agents of the terrorists to pot-smoking antiwar people who never could
quite reason out things between puffs of pot. The marijuana crowd includes
quite a few antiwar people who would not themselves hurt a fly usually by
terroristic means (in fact, a number of people into yoga do it under the
reasoning that they can *control it*), but their anger is increased by
marijuana into obsessions with mostly incoherent blame – often attached to
the past rather than to the problems of the present. Under marijuana,
people often believe that two wrongs make a right, that past wrongs justify present wrongs, that indiscriminate terror is discriminate, and on and on.

 
 

Too much hope. Too few formers.

 
 

The caption makes me feel hopeful.

 
 

We’re from the government, and we’re here to hope.

 
 

Close, El Cid. Instead we should create a Federal Terrorist Agency and staff it with soon-to-be unemployed BushBuddies. Their job: Launch terrorist attacks in the US.

Given their current track record the only things they might blow up are their own asses.

“All dreaming of the white trash heroes, I’m in paradise.”

 
Smiling Mortician
 

All of you — well, realistically, most of you — make excellent points. Good show. However, I feel I would be remiss were I not to mention that “hopeful” is not a fucking noun. It is a fucking adjective. Thank you.

 
 

Lord ha’ mercy that caption is a tall drink o’water.

It reads like boilerplate of some sort, like how company lawyers reprinting someone’s fan letter about Cheetos will replace every instance of “Cheetos” or “them” (when referring to cheetos) with “Cheetos® Brand Simulated Cheese Food Product-Flavored Corn Puffs.”

 
Smiling Mortician
 

Oh, Arky. You can find pretty much any abomination at Dictionary.com. The usage of an adjective as a noun does not truly make said adjective a noun. Verbing weirds language, dammit!

 
 

If I was to lay every presidential hopeful end-to-end, no one would be surprised. I would feel icky though.

 
 

“most-podernist”? That better not be a J-Pod ref, Clyde.

Talk about your indiscriminate terror. And without any reefer, I might add.

 
 

SM is misunderestimating the magnitudization of the problem.

 
 

That’s it.

Bring the shit, Mortician.

Hit ’em with a buncha books n shit.

Yay! Mortician…

mikey

 
 

Not to mention that Clyde, the formerly esteemed Herr Doktor, actually out-obscured even this crowd.

That oughta get you something.

I’m thinking cotton candy…

mikey

 
 

OT (about Liberal Fascism)

1. The word Dickwad is #5 on goggle if you look up Liberal Fascism

2. I don’t see reviews on Amazon, but interesting comments, some from people here at S,N!

One commenter named Avital Pilpel says:
The logical fallacy in this book seems to be that because Liberals and the Nazis agree on *some* things, they are the same or similar.

But we *all* agree 90% with the Nazis–if you just count the number of beliefs, not their importance. You, dear reader, probably agree with the Nazis that wearing shirts is a good idea, that the earth revolves around the sun, and that bread is good to eat. Therefore you are “just like” the Nazis.

It is not the large number of beliefs we all share with the Nazis that matters, but the small number of *important* belief we do *not* share with them (e.g., about the correct treatment of Jews and Slavs).

Using the author’s logic, one could easily “prove” stamp collectors are “just like” the Mafia or chess players “just like” the Greek Orthodox Church’s patriarchs: they all agree on most things. ”

i looked up her ‘history’ and she is an author of two interesting-looking books, one about Hitler’s last days, and an annotated Alice In Wonderland.

 
 

Um…I hesitate to contradict you, Mr. Mortician sir, but my Random House unabridged dictionary sez that “hopeful” is, indeed, not only an adjective, but also a, well, noun.

 
 

Just chant:

“Presidential hopeful Presidential hopeful
Hopeful Hopeful Presidential Presidential”

and be happy.

Would you like a copy of our magazine, “Return to Shithead”?

 
 

“Cheetos® Brand Simulated Cheese Food Product-Flavored Corn Puffs.”

They’re made out of CORN?

NOW you tell me.

 
 

Also from Doctor Doctorow’s babble kindly linked by stryx:

I would also add that very detail-oriented rather than globally (overall relationships) oriented people and very exercise-obsessed people outside of law enforcement and very super-extroverted/group-oriented people have in my experience a potential susceptibility to the above types of errors, and I would add very cynical/sarcastic/sadistic types. There is also an undercurrent of extreme fear of military service which is related to their typically working inside academia or in health related professions where their bosses are not as strict as in corporations or factories or industry or civil service outside the health professions. In actual fact, the military in the USA is not more strict (outside basic training) than most corporate or civil service bosses or management.

See? If you’re “very exercise-obsessed” but not in law-enforcement, you are a liberal Islamo-fascist!
And there’s no strictness in the health-related professions. 1 cc, 10 cc, 100 cc, what real difference could it make?

Seriously, who the fuck is this guy? Of what exactly is he a “doctor?” That’s some of the most incoherent horseshit I’ve ever read. He thinks smoking reefer makes one deluded? (It doesn’t, take my word for it.) He must have a permanent lip-lock on the world’s biggest crack-pipe.

 
 

The Presidential Hopefuls are hopeful that attempting to hopeful their candidacies into serious contention for the White House will be successful. (This is central to the point, which I am not hopeful of making here.)

How’s that for misusing the word? At this point, I’ll bet that word feels like ADB at the UN.

Sorry, Mortician.

 
 

Victor Davis Hanson has figured out one reason for the recent difficulties suffered by the presidential campaign of Democratic Party member and hoper for personal presidentification, Democrat former First Lady current Senator from New York the state Hillary Rodham Clinton (Democrat-New York the state): Bill Clinton subconsciously wants her to lose.

And then there is the Freudian problem. It is not altogether clear that his own desire for another eight years of the limelight overshadows a deep-seeded resentment and envy of his wife, who might, as the first-female president, and a liberal who avoided tawdry scandal, overshadow the prior Clinton’s legacy.

From the world’s greatest web log in the world that the world has ever seen.

 
 

Speaking of Liberal Fascism, I wonder if it might be possible to start a Google bomb to refer people back to one of the posts Brad did here on the book.

Do Google bombs still work?

 
 

They’re made out of CORN?

I don’t know that for sure – I was just making it up. I think Cheetos® Brand Simulated Cheese Food Product-Flavored Corn Puffs are really made from the bone powder of ancient Spartan heroes, which gives them their freedom-love-enhancing power.

 
 

Everything is made of corn, even Soylent Green; all that varies is the number of processing stages involved.

 
 

Jillian said,

January 7, 2008 at 3:32

Speaking of Liberal Fascism, I wonder if it might be possible to start a Google bomb to refer people back to one of the posts Brad did here on the book.

Do Google bombs still work?

Fine question. I’ve heard they don’t work as gude as they used to, but we still have teh shrieking harpy to show for our efforts.

 
 

Fred Thompson is gonna kick some leftwing ass in the general election!

 
 

Bastion Booger = Baboon Goiters

 
 

The truth is, Fred Thompson’s platform of federalism, smaller government, lower taxes, peace through strength, secure borders and Traditional American Values makes for an unbeatable combination in the general election. You moonbats better watch out! Because once Fred wins the Republican nomination (and he will) he will be unstoppable in the general election.

 
 

Bastion Booger = Absorbent I Goo

 
 

No I haven’t been to Europe g, and I never plan on it either. I have however met Europeans, one of them a lady from Holland was a very ignorant, anti-American, anti-Semitic athiest who didn’t care that her Country was being overridden by muslim immigrant hordes or that her Countries birth rate was below replacement level. She said to me that life is all about pleasure, and that patriotism and God doesn’t matter.

 
 

Well, I certainly fear waking the sleeping giant of Fred Thompson. Maybe if we tip-toe around him, he’ll stay asleep.

 
 

Ah, wrong forum!

 
Tara the anti-social social worker
 

They are (L-R) Republican presidential hopeless, former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney, Democratic presidential hopeful, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, D-N.Y., Republican presidential hopeless, former Sen. Fred Thompson, R-Tenn., Republican presidential hopeless former, New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani, Republican presidential beyondhopeless former, Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee, Democratic presidential hopeful, New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson, Democratic presidential hopeful, Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill., Republican presidential hopeless, Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz. and Democratic presidential hopeful former Sen. John Edwards, D-N.C. (AP Photo/Steven Senne)

Fixed.

 
 

Bastion Booger = Fucking Idiot.

Ok, sorry, don’t get the whole x = y formula that’s going on here, but I’m pretty sure I’m right nonetheless…

mikey

 
Tara the anti-social social worker
 

“It is not altogether clear that his own desire for another eight years of the limelight overshadows a deep-seeded resentment and envy of his wife..”

Deep-seeded? Should he be more shallow-seeded instead?

 
 

No I haven’t been to Europe g, and I never plan on it either. I have however met Europeans, ….. She said to me that life is all about pleasure, and that patriotism and God doesn’t matter.

and that is wrong how?

 
 

It is wrong because God and Patriotism are the two most important things in the world. Everything else is (or should be) secondary.

 
 

Some may say that what standards Booger regards as important are indistinguishable from classical fascism. Indeed, it is central to my point.

 
 

Shorter BB: It’s wrong because it’s wrong because I say it is! Also, fuck my family and friends.

Sorry, everybody. I hereby return to ignoring the Resident Twit.

 
 

Also from Doctor Doctorow’s babble kindly linked by stryx:

Seriously, who the fuck is this guy? Of what exactly is he a “doctor?” That’s some of the most incoherent horseshit I’ve ever read.

Teh Google reveals that Dr. Osher Doctorow (Ph.D) does indeed exist, and he writes like that all the time, on all manner of topics, spamming so many comment-threads and use-groups that he could put Dr BLT to shame. If Gavin or Brad or Jillian ever run out of low-hanging fruit to shoot in a barrel, he’s your man.

On the other hand, the comment above — nominally from Dr. Osher Doctorow (Ph.D) — does not have his style of borderline-Aspergers pedantry, so I suspect that our Kent-State-obsessed troll is identity-stealing.

 
 

“It is not altogether clear that his own desire for another eight years of the limelight overshadows a deep-seeded resentment and envy of his wife..”

Deep-seeded? Should he be more shallow-seeded instead?

Maybe he’s thinking of Das Blue Dress.

This points out why I shouldn’t have teased Smiling Mortician. There’s no need to quibble over the word “hopeful” (also found as a noun in Webster’s*) when there are hordes of hopeless hukd on foniks jackasses who regularly and brazenly commit crimes against the language and logic.

*Sorry, couldn’t resist.

 
 

deep-seeded resentment

The dudes over at Language Log are inclined to cut some slack for people who fall into that particular blunder:

“deep-seeded ignorance” makes sense, while “deep-seated ignorance” doesn’t. Ignorance can be planted deep and thus have deep metaphorical roots, but deep-seated ignorance would have to be ignorance cut with a lot of room in the crotch, or maybe ignorance sitting in a badly-designed armchair.

That’s no reason for us to stop laughing and pointing at V.D.Hanson.

 
 

Time for another screen grab!

“When I say anything, y’all say ‘I like pie!’ … something!
“I like pie!”
something else!
“I like pie!”

I went to a concert that was just like that, honest.

 
 

Not sure what it is, but I was getting really hopeful. I still can’t figure out how people can like the MittBott, but he slid in the polls a bit while Obama shot to the top of the latest one.

Then I saw this at one place I act obnoxious at (The Sean Hannity Forums):
I DO NOT want a Black President if this is the crap we have to hear!!

That and now 51 pages in the thread ‘discussing’ this idiocy. I only really went back there to try and get some Mitt fans to explain why they like him, and I see this rant. Good thing I’m on the very last of that pure-happiness cough syrup, dammit.

 
 

It’s a bit strange for a self-described patriot to be upset that some foreigner isn’t patriotic. I mean, who cares if she thinks the Netherlands aren’t really all that great, or that Dutch people aren’t the Best People In The Whole World Evar?

 
 

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