That Bed You Made? Have Fun Lying In It
I can’t resist one more outburst of Schadenfreude over the Huckamentum out of Iowa. Because, you see, not every Republican party pundit is weeping tears of pure bile over the outcome.
Radio preacher James Dobson is all a-chuckle over it.
Liar, Liar . . .
Just a few months ago, the media were busy writing an obituary for Values Voters. On Thursday night, those voters apparently came back from the dead.
In Iowa’s first-in-the-nation presidential caucuses, former Gov. Mike Huckabee finished first among Republicans, thanks in large part to evangelical voters.
“The results of the Iowa caucuses reveal that conservative Christians remain a powerful force in American politics,” said Dr. James Dobson, founder and chairman of Focus on the Family Action. “That had to be a great shock to those on the far Left! The New York Times wrote a demeaning obituary of Values Voters in an article called The Evangelical Crackup. CNN piled on, proclaiming the demise of the ‘old values,’ referring to traditional marriage and the sanctity of human life. They and other media elites turned out to be dead wrong.
Christian voters came back from the dead? Have fun figuring out what to do with your zombie Christian voting bloc, Republican party!
Even our very own J. Grant Swank is happy about this outcome – I think. With a Swank column, it can be hard to tell sometimes.
HUCKABEE: IT’S NOT JUST EVANGELICALS
Press says evangelicals gave Iowa to Mike Huckabee. No doubt
But it will be more than evangelicals throughout the Republic who must support Huckabee. America is not all-evangelical.
Then how can Huckabee make it to the White House?
He can make it only if moralists of all labels want an ethical base to the country. That includes people who don’t go to church, don’t read the Bible and maybe are not even sure if there is a God.
Right. So if atheists who think America would be better off as a Christian theocracy unite with the evangelical Republican base currently supporting Huckabee, then Huckabee’s a shoo-in for the Presidency. That’s the best news I’ve heard in weeks! Tell me more, Pastor Swank!
There is that public that has a moral underpinning to life that is pro-life, for instance, but for no known theological position except that that public regards killing womb babies as not right for their culture.
One can move to other issues than abortion with that premise.
If there is such a decent public out there, then a Huckabee could go all the way to the Oval Office.
I don’t even think that’s in English, but I’m sure I agree with it!
Go, Huck, Go! Keep inspiring the mentally flatulent end of the Republican party to come out and support you! Pick Chuck Norris as your running mate! Hell, if your campaign manages to give Bill Kristol an aneurysm, I may even have to vote for you myself – I’m in Florida, so I already know my vote doesn’t count.
I didn’t think it was possible, but I find I’m actually looking forward to the next few months of primary season.
So where do I sign up for Atheists for a Christian Theocracy in the United States (ACT-US)? Will I get to date Christian girls?
The fact is, it is the Liberals who made an immoral bed with their lying anger and hatred. With our love for life, freedom, God, USA and the Free Market, we Heartlanders have triumphed once again. God smiles on us as he always has, and here is your proof.
“Christian voters came back from the dead? Have fun figuring out what to do with your zombie Christian voting bloc, Republican party!”
They want a Constitution Amendment banning homosexual brains.
““The results of the Iowa caucuses reveal that conservative Christians remain a powerful force in American politics,” said Dr. James Dobson, founder and chairman of Focus on the Family Action. “That had to be a great shock to those on the far Left!…”
I, too, was shocked that the far-left candidate didn’t not win the Iowa Republican primary. Now what the fuck am I supposed to do with 10,000 “Gandhi-Cheney ’08” bumper stickers?
“Press says evangelicals gave Iowa to Mike Huckabee. No doubt”
Christ.
“THE press says…”
Fixed. When the hell in Congress going to pass a law that makes wetbacks and Evangelists learn to read and write English?
“I don’t even think that’s in English, but I’m sure I agree with it!”
It reads like 13 year-old WoW* l33t speak shorthand, but slightly less comprehensible. However, I’m pretty sure the gist of his thesis is: if enough people vote for the Republican candidate, then the Republican candidate will win. I am forced to agree with the good Pastor’s irrefutable logic.
Good god, Jillian, I had no idea. That’s… wow… I’m so sorry.
*Incidentally, has anyone else noticed how well the Chrono Cross soundtrack goes with WoW?
Gary makes me cry.
“Womb babies”!!!!eleven!!1!
Willy drops an anus baby whenever teh Swankstah says Womb Babies.
an immoral bed with their lying anger and hatred
This sort of thing happens all the time at the end of a really good angry party.
C’mon Gary, I crawl out of my immoral bed on a Saturday morning after an all-night angry party and all you got is that?
Well, at least I’m not waking up in Florida. Poor Jillian.
womb babies
Collect ’em all!
Well, at least I’m not waking up in Florida. Poor Jillian.
I know! sob! I’m all alone down here, and no one loves me! Nobody invites me to their angry parties, and the only immoral bed I wake up in anymore is my own. It’s not right!
The mortician beat me to it–damn. I wonder if the Christian zombies ever get to the scene before the mortician? Mmmm, brains.
Whoa, zombie Christianists?! And I thought they were a scurge when they were alive!
I was gonna make the joke, but someone beat me to it:
Huckamania’s runnin’ wild!
Is God a registered voter? Is he even a citizen? I’m pretty sure he was born in the Middle East — and I know Jesus was — and I don’t think either one was ever naturalized in the U.S. This looks a lot like voter fraud.
Womb babies. Holy shit. What are people like this guy going to be saying when artificial wombs are perfected in the next 10 years or so?
Not bad for a supposed bunch of demoralized, depressed, disillusioned and disengaged Reaganites.”
For a Huckabee vote, just add alcohol!*
*For Ron Paul votes, substitute crystal meth!
Um, did the Swankster just say that morality can exist with out religion? I think he did, so on behalf of the Godless Left I hereby accept his surrender in the age old debate between faith and reason. I thank you.
Willy drops an anus baby
I rather thought that I’d heard and seen it all. Thank you, Willy. Life still has something to teach me.
Then how can Huckabee make it to the White House?
He can make it only if moralists of all labels want an ethical base to the country. That includes people who don’t go to church, don’t read the Bible and maybe are not even sure if there is a God.
Heh…..HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! He used “ethical base” in a sentence referring to Huckabee! HAHAHAHAHA!!!
To repeat what I’ve said a few other places on teh liberal fascist internets:
The dude can be bought for a suit. Literally. Google “Jennings Osborne Mike Huckabee” and see what turns up. (And for hilarity, then Google just “Jennings Osborne”.)
He’s not so much dangerous as he is tacky. His lack of ethics is so profound that it’s probably inaccurate to call it immorality; it’s more amoral, as if he cannot even grasp the concept of ethics. He’s generally uninterested in office for anything other than the trappings and personal aggrandizement. He did not dedicate himself to wingnuttery as governor, though he did slip into it on occasion. Mostly he’s just a huge fucking embarassment. And after 8 years of Bush, who needs more of that?
That’s the Huckster in a nutshell. No couth and no real interest in governance.
Schadenfreude, Conan?
“What are people like this guy going to be saying when artificial wombs are perfected”
Artificial womb babies are a Godless liberal plot to create a counterfeit baby Jesus who will grow up to head the United Nations and make us all lie in angry, immoral beds. Only Mike Huckabee can stop it.
Artificial womb babies are a Godless liberal plot to create a counterfeit baby Jesus who will grow up to rape the EU while the United Nations watches and laughs and make us all lie in angry, immoral beds with brussels sprouts while brocolli stands in the corner and laughs. Only Mike Huckabee can stop it.
FYT.
And if the GOP offer a Huckabee- Swank ticket, why, they would double their evangelical vote!
Thanks for the fix there, Jennifer, but I think your correction overlooks the fact that the UN is the Beast of end times prophecy. Or at least a premade set of tentacles that the AntiChrist will control like a puppeteer. Bwahaa haa haa!
Womb Babies: Delicious, or Hyper Delicious? Discuss.
I think this blog entry explains why Pandora suddenly broke into “Tainted Love.”
Um, did the Swankster just say that morality can exist with out religion?
I think he thinks of it as people being religious but not being aware they are – or something. Hard to tell. But I think he sees the world as having exactly one moral code, so if you believe at all that morality is a good thing, that code is the one you support, whether you know it or not. Otherwise, you have no ethical foundation and just drift around kicking dogs, blowing up planeloads of babies, and stuff like that – not even knowing why.
On yet another hand, Mitt Romney said on the TV machine:
So all the Huckabeaners out there are going to be rolled over like a steam rolly thingy when Mitt unveils his plan to not change the White House but to change Washington.
If there is such a decent public out there, then a Huckabee could go all the way to the Oval Office.
Whenever I read Swank I’m itching to rewrite his sentences. Why would he write “a” Huckabee? Why “there is…public”?
Huckabee-Roy Moore ’08!
Because that’s an evil I can get behind.
Note to Dobson: The evangelicals have already started cracking up. They’re supporting an economic populist, some of them have started talking about environmentalism (see “Creation Care” magazine), and still others are warming to Obama (’cause when you really want parental, engaging charisma, who else on the Republican side can fit the bill?). Fetuses don’t pay mortgages or tell good bedtime stories, Jimmy D.
You want to actually frighten Democrats? Try Huckabee / McCain ’08.
McCain is principle-free enough to do it, and thus Huckabee would finally get a surge of support for having anointed a true hawk and the winner of everything everywhere in the eyes of the press.
Mark Steyn has “penned” (fingerpainted?) a new little weeparoo he has called “It’s the christian left vs. the secular left”, thus trying to move the goalposts on ideology (ever heard of the distinction between socons and fiscons? Of course you have, you just dismiss it if it means you can keep the gays marginalized and properly “respectful” of christians) as well as try to shift the limit on when a grown man has the right to complain.
Do something with that as well?
Johnny C–
Your counterfeit baby Jebus is the Antichrist, d00d. The Huckster may be righteous, and so forth, but even he can’t defeat that.
Not that it matters. Once the A.C. arrives on the scene, Huck and the gang will be Raptured up, and the rest of us (and all of Sadly, No!) will commence the Tribulation. Hang on for seven years and JC His Own Bad Self will arrive. Again.
Till he does, can we have some more angry parties?
Of Course, the zombie christians are the most natural constituency for the zombie christ.
Hang on for seven years and JC His Own Bad Self will arrive.
Is he generally on time or should we plan to have some munchies?
Will I get to date Christian girls?
Um, I’m pretty sure you will. But if you have any doubt at all, I recommend you start with catholic girls. ‘Cause they come with a 100% horizontal or your condom back guarantee.
Y’know, if we had a big-time national sport that depended on a steady supply of Womb Babies, maybe some kind of variation on a Lacrosse/Football hybrid, all these assholes would change their tune in no time.
It would become mandatory to contribute one Womb Baby per quarter….
mikey
At the risk of mixing metaphors, it should be pointed out that you can’t unshit the bed.
It’s not mixing metaphors, it’s accurately compounding them: You’ve made your bed, and then you sh*t your bed, and now you lie in it, because I sure as hell am not.
Great news for all you morally challenged, non-religious people of voting age! Thanks the good Pastor Swank and his Dual Formula for Ethical Corroboration, you too can become a person of sound moral underpinning. No known theological position required! All you have to do is either be vehemently anti-choice or pretend to be anti-choice and vote for Mike “More Than a Baptist Preacher” Huckabee. It’s that simple! So all you public-contract-money embezzlers, foot-long Baby Jesus swipers, firetruck thieves, and fences, what are you waiting for? Act now and join that public that regards or votes for the person who regards killing womb babies as not right for culture.
Huckamania’s runnin’ wild!
What’cha gonna do, brother?
b/w
Was it Huckabee who secured the all-important Ric Flair endorsement? Woo!
Huckamania’s runnin’ wild!
Mike Huckabee, born to be wild.
You guys see Super Star Parker’s ramblings this week? She’s apparently adopted Huck as her boi: http://www.shns.com/shns/g_index2.cfm?action=detail&pk=PARKER-01-04-08
Heh, check out this passive-aggressive way of supporting Huck’s “put teh gays in camps” line:
“I am talking about the lines that define right and wrong in the sense of our religious traditions. The lines that define family and establish the standard by which we measure its health and breakdown. The lines that we have used in the past to instruct our children about how to manage and direct their sexual impulses.”
O RLY, star? Like chastity belts and those spiked thingies that kept boys from jerking it? Lovely.
Well Mr Dobson, as one of those on the “far left” (meaning, left of Margaret Thatcher and Hillary Clinton), I can assure you that not only was I not shocked by Huck’s win, I expected it. And I, for one, would like to thank you personally for helping to destroy the Republican party. Because we couldn’t have done it without you!
Oh and Gary, will you have my anus baby? Just lube yerself up and make sure you keep that bag over your head. I’d ask Booger, but he smells like poo.
Jesus loves anus babies, yes He does.
And they’re worried about Obama imposing M-m-m my Sharia?
Oh, for the magic looking glass of self-awareness!
“The results of the Iowa caucuses reveal that conservative Christians remain a powerful force in American politics … That had to be a great shock to those on the far Left!”
It sure shocked notorious lefties like Vodkapundit and the folks at Redstate! However, what would most shock this lefty would be if the evangelical’s newfound recognition of their own power would cause them to quit the freaking “help help we’re being oppressed” whining. I won’t hold my breath.
Dobson said:
There’s no telling what sort of crazy psychedelic shit those Neo-Maoist extremists at CNN and the New York Times will come up with next.
Right. So if atheists who think America would be better off as a Christian theocracy unite with the evangelical Republican base currently supporting Huckabee, then Huckabee’s a shoo-in for the Presidency. That’s the best news I’ve heard in weeks! Tell me more, Pastor Swank!
Ya know, there’s some that apparently believe that. Back before the 2004 election, I was discussing Bush v Kerry with a conservative acquaintence of mine. The man was aghast that I’d “turn my back on the president at a time of war” and I told him that even if Bush had done every thing right with his foreign policy – which hadn’t come close – I still couldn’t support the guy because of his domestic policy. In fact, I challenged, how can you, a self-described small-government conservative, back a president who’s so wrapped up with fundamentalist Christian yay-hoos wanting in every aspect of your life.
He actually said, “Well, I’d rather have Christians telling me what to do than Muslims.” He could not grasp the concept of a secular soceity with absolutely no fundamentalist yay-hoos of any stripe calling the shot, and yet, I was the one who was on the fringe. I quit talking to the guy for various reasons after Katrina, but I wonder what he thinks of the Huckasurge. Imagine he’s pissed it’s drawing support from Ron Paul, hallowed be his name. He’s that sort of guy.
I think Swank’s most popular neologism, “womb babies” is not so much evidence that he, you know, just found out where babies come from and wants to show off, but a distinction he’s attempting to make between “crib babies”, for example, and “womb babies”, known to the rational world as “fetuses”.
He’s not saying he thinks lung or spleen babies are possible, really, he’s just coming up with a way to make non-babies into babies. Like calling Mike Huckabee a “fiscal liberal” translates into “ZOMG! Huckabee’s a LIBERAL!” to assorted morons. It doesn’t mean he’s any less likely than your average conservative to round up queers and make bitches quit their jobs and have babies, it just lets you make a distinction that normal people wouldn’t notice but that you, in your bizarre little world of cognitive dissonance, find absolutely essential in determining what’s okay and what’s evil.
Marginally on-topic, my partner wanted to know why Huckabee is being referred to as “populist”. “Well, he’s for the little guy. As long as the little guy is not gay or female. So, really, he’s for about forty percent of the little guy. As long as he’s Christian. There’s probably some other stuff, too.”
Hey, check out Greenwald. He’s got a post up about Jonah using not-very-doublesecret code words to threaten national racial violence if Obama gets the nomination then loses.
Man, all these people can DO is fear. Fear of the other. They are all our enemies. We must, sadly and reluctantly, plan to kill our way out of another little, er, problem.
We’re gonna see some ugly shit this year. And some of this crap, if it gets nasty enough, can start in with the whole self-fulfilling deal….
mikey
Unfortunately I don’t get to lie in my immoral bed, because all the chickens have come home and are roosting there. I wish I knew where they spent the night. As well as the lipstick stains and the smell of cheap perfume, their feathers are ruffled, so they might have been at the Angry Party.
Funny, I read the link someone posted upthread about all the gifts Huckabee received while governor and after leaving office – gifts certificates, floral arrangements for wifey, $1000 cufflinks, etc., and in the story it said that, while at the time it wasn’t against Arkansas law (it is now) it is a problem under Federal law. And a spokesperson for the Huck said that Huck didn’t see anything wrong with taking gifts, because he was a preacher, and he was good, and preachers are always getting gifts. It also said, well, isn’t it nice that a private citizen wants to give Huck a gift instead of making it come out of the pockets of taxpayers, and I though – Gee, I didn’t know the Arkansas budget had a line item for “Governor’s cufflinks,” but hey, every state is a little different.
Anyway – the line about him being a preacher really struck me, because that’s exactly like my Mooching Brother. These people truly believe that God will provide for them, and if God’s provisioning always comes in the form of some rich guy giving you gifts just because you’re a great guy, well, so much the better. And if that doesn’t happen, well, you can just mooch off your friends and family – because it’s not their stuff, it’s God’s to provide!
Yes, but exactly which racial group does Jo’berg Goldbutt represent? Nepotist-Americans? Who will rise up to demand jobs from their own relatives?
The Greenwald post is pretty good.
Womb babies, snowflake babies… I’m getting the hang of this. Does Swank have a nice phrase for that 30% of blastocysts (or whatever the figure is) that never implant and are flushed away?
He’s not saying he thinks lung or spleen babies are possible,
‘cuz that would be fucking awesome!
Does Swank have a nice phrase for that 30% of blastocysts (or whatever the figure is) that never implant and are flushed away?
What about “period pixies”? The babies that only come to visit you once a month and visit for a week or so.
Okay, so it’s not very catchy.
Who will save all the pre-zygotic babies who have been denied their opportunities for soul-hood?
Who will save all the pre-zygotic babies who have been denied their opportunities for soul-hood?
Don’t know about saving them… cleaning them off my computer screen is hard enough.
Of course they’re possible. Just as Willy has dropped a few anus babies in his day, so I’ve coughed up my share of lung babies, especially in cold and flu season. And each one is sacred.
Dobson: “That had to be a great shock to those on the far Left! The New York Times wrote a demeaning obituary of Values Voters in an article called The Evangelical Crackup. CNN piled on…””
Personally, this liberal fascist loves watching the bible-thumpers battle the corporatists and fracture the GOP. And from the other end, the GOP is trying to marginalize Ron Paul and his libertarian horde. This is awesome!
Also note, Dobson thinks the NYT and CNN are far left. What a nutbag.
What about “period pixies”? …. Okay, so it’s not very catchy.
On the contrary! Hilarious, too.
Have any of the glibertarians or other Establishment redoublechins started calling the SoCons big fat liberals yet?
Spleen babies need plenty of fresh air for healthy growth, so vent your spleen regularly.
I’ve been saving them, along with miscarriages.
And lemme tell yah, they make one hell of a gumbo.
The best is when they’re miscarried just on the verge of forming bones, and there’s just a hint of crunchiness.
Mmmmmmmmm, almost baby gumbo.
g:
Sounds like Huckabee is preparing a new “Checkers” speech for the new century.
Smut Clyde said,
January 5, 2008 at 22:14
Womb babies, snowflake babies… I’m getting the hang of this. Does Swank have a nice phrase for that 30% of blastocysts (or whatever the figure is) that never implant and are flushed away?
Toilet Americans.
Smut Clyde–
I hear ya. A solution of 50-50 isopropyl alcohol and distilled water. Drink it,
wash the screen with it, whatever.
The Roombaby of History™³²®© is on the right wavelength.
he’s just coming up with a way to make non-babies into babies. Like calling Mike Huckabee a “fiscal liberal”
Or Liberal Fascists?
So long as no-one turns into a fiscal liberal fascist, because I would get confused, and shorten it to Fiscist.
Thanks Jillian, I’ve been waiting all day for an excuse to let go with one of those cough-sputter-choke-wheeze laughs that make me sound like I need the Heimlich maneuver or anti-psychotics.
The upper or lower 40%? You never can tell with the tighty-frighties.
“There is that public that has a moral underpinning…”
So maybe you should call your voting bloc “The Moral Majority”. Tell us how that works out for ya, Reverend.
“Um, did the Swankster just say that morality can exist with out religion?”
Only if said irreligious vote the way Swank tells them to. Theology only exists to give guys like Swank a rod with which to enforce compliance with his worldview; if he can do it without theology, that’s good too. If our values voters stand for anything, it’s for infinite flexibility in moral bases.
If somehow, someone or something were to light Dobby on fire like in that picture–I would glady contribute a dollar–er euro. Most right thinking Coloradoans would probably do the same.
This would be the same James Dobson who pointedly refused to endorse the Huckster before the primary, right?
This would be the same James Dobson who pointedly refused to endorse the Huckster before the primary, right?
I wonder if Pat Robertson is looking at the caucus results and saying, “Oops!”
Next, the rightie pundits will tell us how Huckabee needs the votes of “period pixies”. You’re awesome, Jillian, thanks.
conception critters
implantation infants
This would be the same James Dobson who pointedly refused to endorse the Huckster before the primary, right?
Thank you. I’m glad I wasn’t the only person laughing at this. FWIW, I think I read at Balloon Juice that he hasn’t
anointedendorsed anyone.Very amusing to see Daddy Dobson all out of breath from sprinting up the street to get in front of the Huckster’s parade, though.
What are people like this guy going to be saying when artificial wombs are perfected in the next 10 years or so?
That’s why the Swankster Ranks are dead against that-there scien-terror-istic stuff. Once ya can decant the ‘womb babies’ into bottles, ya gotta invent a whole new rationale for keeping women in their place, i.e., firmly under the menfolks’ bootses. Although I predict that reliable re-implantation will arrive well in advance of full artificial wombs, and then we moonbats can start the terrorist Order of Saint Gerard, where prominent anti-abortion campaigners are kidnapped & implanted with the “womb babies” they claim to love so much. Since individual women have survived ten caesareans, every Pastor Swank and Randall Terry should be glad to nourish a needy womb baby or two to the point of viability, right? (Yeah, just like Bill Kristol and Jonah Goldberg would be glad to volunteer for the military when they are so glad to throw other peoples’ bodies into the fires of Moloch.)
Anne Laurie,
you know what be a h00t? Reimplantation into d00des! If these guys get so worked over stem cells and other mundane science stuff, imagine the first report of implantation into a guy… Literally heads will be exploding…
Reimplantation into d00des!
Now we’re talking. Boybies, to go along with our commode tots and tamponfants.
Literally heads will be exploding…
The precedents are all rather pagan, alas. “Athena leaped from Zeus’s head, fully grown and armed”.
The best part of this is, of course, that Dobson’s been running away from Huckabee with great speed throughout the runup to the caucus. He supposedly doesn’t endorse in primaries, but he’s made a number of announcements to assure people that he doesn’t support or endorse Huckabee.
Dobson’s racing to the front of the parade. I wonder he’s not panting too hard to crow.
Yo, let me know if you need help. Heavy lifting, alibis, hitting ’em over the head with a stick. All I ask is to be present when you tell them the joyful news. “Congrats, it’s quadruplets!”
All I ask is to be present when you tell them the joyful news. “Congrats, it’s quadruplets!”
“And one of them has a disease that will kill it before it’s three, two have a family history of severe mental illness, and the last one is the product of incestuous rape!”
I often wonder what these fuckwits would do when confronted with the thirteen year old version of any baby I might have had. It would not be pretty, which is one reason I do not breed. I am not alone in this.
And if it were not for the Great Gazoogle, I still would have no idea who Saint Gerard was.
[/unsolicited testamonial]
I am not alone in this.
You’re certainly not. By very great luck my immediate fambly was relatively unharmed in the genetic dice-rolls (except, of course, for my two attempted siblings who were stillborn). I’m not going to tempt fate.
The precedents are all rather pagan, alas.
Not according to the Magisterium! But I see you’ve already discovered that St. Gerard, celibate monk, is the patron saint of pregnant women.
Menstrual microtots?
Gazoogle tells me that Gerard also moonlights as the patron saint of the victims of false accusations, so Guantanamo Bay is probably keeping him occupied.
On the subject of reimplantation into d00des, Krassen wants heads to explode, and I have to admit that a lot of people aren’t using theirs for any better purpose.
When he wasn’t gestating Athena intra-cranially, Zeus apparently had Bacchus implanted inside his thigh of all places. Go figure.
What’s that?
Oh yes, Cordwainer Smith wanted to pass this on:
There is no such planet as Arachosia, no such people as klopts, no such world as Catland. These are all just imaginary, they didn’t happen, forget about it, go away and read something else.
MaterTots?
It’s not just evangelicals?
That must be why the Huckster was polling at 12% in New Hampshire before the Iowa caucus, but at, errrr, 12% after…
Huckamania is runnin’ wild, brutha!
With our love for life, freedom, God, USA and the Free Market, we Heartlanders have triumphed once again. God smiles on us as he always has, and here is your proof.
Gary:
Did you ever stop to wonder if the reason god was smiling on you Heartlanders is because he thinks of you all as a slightly more advanced version of the “ant farm” you had as a kid?
…but who will empower our homonculoid-Americans, those unwitting spawn of pr0n and self-abuse?
Spwned!!11
Huckabye? Huckabee wants to have adulterers, homosexuals and rape victims stoned to death. He also wants to make alcohol and music videos illegal, and make women 2nd class citizens and to take all girls out of school.
Oops, my bad, that’s another ‘religion’.
Hey, anybody but the PIAPS!
if you’re MAD
punish your country
VOTE for Hillary
http://haltterrorism.com/
http://absurdthoughtsaboutgod.blogspot.com/
.
“”The results of the Iowa caucuses reveal that conservative Christians remain a powerful force in American politics,” said Dr. James Dobson, founder and chairman of Focus on the Family Action. “That had to be a great shock to those on the far Left!”
Thank God for the left. If it didn’t exist, they’d have to invent it. Having us as the common enemy of the people is the only thing keeping the conservative coalition from flying apart. Maybe Barack Obama should change his name to Emmanuel Goldstein.
If Dobson bothered to pull his head out of his ass for one minute, he’d notice that first of all, that wasn’t the election, that was the primary. The enemy wasn’t the left, it was Romney and McCain. Second of all, the people most dismayed by Huckabee’s selection weren’t the left. Though I was pretty dismayed myself, my reaction was nothing compared to that of conservative elites who have always considered the Christian Right nothing but a group of hicks, rubes and peons to be used as an electoral tool. In other words, Romney and McCain. Watch the way they tried to sideline and ignore Huckabee throughout the entire campaign, especially in their last debate (something the “liberal media” host was only too happy to go along with).
It’s fine and good to use the hicks to get into office, ignore them while you’re there, then stir them up again four years later to get back in. It’s fine and good to throw a bone to the hicks on something like gay marriage every now and then – when the majority of the country agrees with you and the others are all on the other side of the aisle already. It’s even fine and good to pretend to be one of the hicks, even if you happen to be the multi-millionaire son of a former president whose family has been a staple of the East Coast establishment for a hundred years.
But if one of the hicks ever gets into office, then God help them. As Jonah Goldberg said, it’s only okay to be anti-elitist when the elite is liberal.