Super Sized Morons

Last week we talked about the Wing Nut battle against Subway Restaurants for what they felt were anti-American tray-liners. Chief amongst their complaints was the fact that the liners made reference to the movie Super Size Me and its claims that much of the fare provided by the American fast-food industry is unhealthy. And if you’re Tom DeLay, there’s nothing more un-American than good health.

Today we’re going to tell the story of a Right Wing crusade to clear the good name of McDonald’s and make the world safe for fast food conglomerates once again. But before we get into that, we have an update (thanks to Uncle Horn Head for the link) about how Subway decided to stop their use of the offending materials.

Complaints from outraged Americans have had the intended effect: Subway sandwich restaurants in Germany have yanked an advertising campaign featuring anti-American tray-liners.

We already know who the outraged Americans were. But what kind of “news” source would say “anti-American” without also saying “allegedly?” That would be CNSNews of course (via TownHall).

The tray-liners at German Subway outlets featured an obese Statue of Liberty holding a burger and fries in her hands, under a headline asking, “Why are Americans so fat?” According to the Center for Individual Freedom, the headline used the word “Amis,” which is considered a derogatory term for Americans.

Having actually lived in Germany, I can say that the term “Amis” isn’t particularly derogatory. And it certainly wouldn’t be accurate to say “is considered a derogatory term.” But of course the Wing Nuts know well enough to throw accuracy aside if the good name of McDonald’s is at stake. It’s like the war on terror – we have to make a few trade-offs and sacrifices in order to defend our most cherished gifts.

The effort paid off: The Center says Subway’s German franchises have ended the tray-liner promotion. According to one wire report, the German franchises told Subway they “felt bad” about it.

Typical liberals. Always talking about their feeeeeelings.

But that may not be the end of it. The Center wants Subway to issue an apology as well.

And I’m pretty sure our little cowboys won’t sleep until they get it.

But it turns out that the Wing Nuts aren’t just mad about Subway. No, they find themselves incensed at any perceived attacks on our giant corporate entities (or as Ken Boehm from the National Legal and Policy Center says, “symbols of our nation”).

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. In the eyes of the Right, we have now officially become the United States of McDonald’s.

But don’t think it stops at fast food. World Net Daily published an article over the weekend entitled The Cola Jihad. It’s all about how some people in the Middle East think they actually have a right to compete with American beverage corporations.

Coke’s legacy had spurred the launch of an alternative soft drink company, Mecca-Cola, some three years ago. It was designed to cash in on anti-American sentiment around the world. Mecca-Cola was introduced in France in 2002, and is now exported throughout Europe and the Arab world.

If you cater to both Arabs and French, well, how much more anti-American can you get?

WND goes on to imply that the Middle Easterners fill their cola drinks with harmful messages.

In most cases these messages are anti-American, anti-Semitic or anti-multinationals ? while at the same time cleverly promoting subliminal Islamist ideas. In essence these products, marketed with western techniques, serve as a means of condemning the very concepts used to bring them to consumers’ shelves.

Normally I would just try to make a bad joke here but I have to step aside for a moment and ask the question: What the hell has Conservatism come to that being “anti-multinational” is the equivalent of being anti-American or anti-Semitic? It’s unfortunate that a detailed analysis of the WND article is beyond the scope of this piece because it just gets wackier and wackier as it progresses.

Anyway, the Wing Nuts have decided that letter-writing campaigns to defend our poor maligned multinationals aren’t enough. Enter the aptly-named Soso Whaley.

Soso Whaley, voice of the downtrodden

Ms. Whaley decided that the movie Super Size Me was nauseating in its attack on all that is American and began working on a little project.

On April 1, 2004, Soso R. Whaley embarked upon her McDonald’s odyssey. Vowing to eat only the meals the fast food giant offered over the counter for 30 days, Soso set out to prove that one can maintain a healthy lifestyle and even lose weight by making wise food choices. After losing 10 pounds and lowering her cholestorol, Soso is happy to report she is doing well after her experiment.

Soso’s creative juices flowing as quickly as her digestive ones, she decided to make her own movie showing how eating at McDonald’s is actually healthy and how Morgan Spurlock is just a big stupid liar.

Eating massive amounts of food Spurlock claimed to have ?proven? that McDonalds food is bad for you and causes all sorts of medical problems. This anti-corporate, anti-fast food take on the ?evil? McDonalds is nothing more than simple junk science and should be relegated to the comedy section at Blockbuster once it is distributed. To be honest, I?ve had it with all the doom and gloom, alarmist, anti-everything attitude of certain individuals and organizations who want to control my life, your life, everyone?s life with little regard for individual tastes, freedom of choice and personal responsibility.

So just stop picking on poor old McDonald’s you big mean liberals! And don’t think Whaley didn’t have a good time. After her experiment, she said she felt “excellent” and “energized.”

No less regarded a source than the Moonie Times had this to say:

She dropped 10 pounds from her 5-foot-3-inch frame in the first month of her experiment, slimming down to 165 from 175. Her cholesterol level fell to 197 from 237 by the beginning of May.

Of course we also learn that as she continued her “diet,” her cholesterol crept back up. But back to Moonie.

Like Mr. Spurlock, Ms. Whaley said she tried every item on the menu at least once. But she spent about an hour doing moderate exercise three times a week.

Although she did have salads, Ms. Whaley said she stuck with sandwiches, fries, diet sodas and shakes.

“I actually had a much tougher time when I got back in the real world [in May] because I was so used to controlled portion sizes” at the burger chain, she said.

Sounds like a happy life to me! All that choice about portion sizes can be a real drag.

McDonald’s spokesman Walt Riker said the Oakbrook, Ill., fast-food chain has had no contact with Ms. Whaley other than giving her permission to film her documentary inside its restaurants.

“We’re certainly interested in seeing [Ms. Whaley’s] film. It certainly proves what we have been saying from Day One ? that there is plenty of choice on the menu for a balanced diet,” Mr. Riker said.

He’s right. Some days you can eat a hamburger and fries. Other days you can eat a fatty salad and fries. Still other days you can eat chicken nuggets and fries. No matter how you look at it, the fries always remain balanced.

Ms. Whaley estimated the cost of the film to be $30,000 to $50,000. That does not include her time spent or the staff help from the Competitive Enterprise Institute, a Washington think tank advocating free markets.

It’s certainly no surprise that the CEI, an organization called “the best environmental think tank in the country” by The Wall Street Journal, an organization dedicated to “promoting free enterprise” by rolling back cumbersome environmental safeguards and regulations, would be interested in a project like this.

Because that’s what this all boils down to. Making this country safe once again for our patriotic multinationals. And making sure there are enough fries to go around. Well, to those able to afford them, anyway.

God bless America.


Comments: 21


From the “Portsmouth Herald” here: (my emphasis)

One thing Whaley said she is thankful for is that none of her many interviewers have brought up on-air the fact that her project is endorsed by the Competitive Enterprise Institute (CEI), a nonprofit organization “dedicated to the principles of free enterprise and limited government.”

Whaley is an adjunct fellow at CEI, and the organization is helping her handle her busy public relations schedule. But Whaley said she receives no financial backing from it. In fact, the only monetary compensation she will accept during the 30 days will be the free plane ticket and hotel room provided by the “Sharon Osbourne Show.”


However, the topic of where the institute gets its funding can become controversial, she said. Oftentimes when an organization?s data is challenged by CEI, the organization points out how CEI is funded by companies like General Motors and Exxon, Whaley said. The topic of the source of CEI?s funding often has nothing to do with the issue at hand, and draws attention away from the real debate, she said.

All people have taken money from cigarette companies at some point in time,” Whaley said. “Who cares about oil money, cigarette money, celebrity money? The only way we can survive is by making money.”


I still don’t get why corporations like Subway are not supposed to advertise against other corps like Mickey D’s. Did Coke get all mad at Pepsi for the archeology commercial that came out when I was a kid? (Does anyone else remember that one?)


So she dropped from a BMI of 31 to a BMI of 29? Sure, why not. But the weight loss probably came from leaving off the fried stick of butter she used to have for dessert every night.


Subway’s Jared should be lynched, that anti-American traitor! Think of it as preemptive marketing sabotage.


Heowge MacD at the Smithsonian Air/Space museum in DC.

Three windows open (admittedly quite late in the afternoon).

One diddy little cafe place doing decent pseudoStarbucks fare, including salads. Three people behind the counter.

And no shortage of custom.

Drip, drip…


The cognitive dissonance is making my head hurt. How is it that those championing free enterprise are crusading against free enterprise?


Boy, it’s a good thing there’s not anything ELSE serious going on in the world; otherwise, these people might not have time to get all worked up over something as vitally important as fast food advertising.


Given the job-creation record of the madministration, it’s good that all those meals came with fries.

Now, class, repeat after me:

“Do you want fries with that?”

Goooood! Now go out and get all those high-paying jobs (or just go on Prozac — it’s your choice).



I’m glad I read the comments. I didn’t get this story as it seemed to contradict itself and then my blondeness kicked in and I thought.. “oh now I get it… it does contradict itself!” whew.

I’ll take some fries with my Effexor today.

Miss Authoritiva

I’m still waiting for the counterpoint film to “Reefer Madness.” Oh, wait, maybe that was what all those Cheech and Chong movies were about.

Why are all the SUPERSIZED MULTINATIONAL CORPORATIONS OF THE WORLD, LLC so hypersensitive? They’re pretty much doing their jobs: brainwashing, artery-clogging, consumer debt-driving, etc. If some hardy souls fall safely through the cogs and pulleys, let them be.

Even God knows He’s not going to get every soul.


That sad thing about McDonalds is that, despite what you think of their food, they got themselves to every corner of the planet by understanding the values of foreign relations that the Neocons don’t. They understood cultural sensitivity, they understood giving people in other countries more control over the franchises, and they understand the danger of trying to impose things top-down. Not to mention that the Kroc family donated lots of money to liberal causes over the years.

The fact that McDonalds is seen as part of the imperialist America of 2004 is just a sad testament to how much Bush has poisoned a lot of what used to be great about America’s face overseas.


Did ANY of these dildoes actually see the movie? SuperSizeMe is not anti-McD’s. It actually makes much broader points about the dietary habits of people in general. The director chose to do no exercise because most people do no exercise.

I think the movie points a bigger finger, if you will, at the school lunch program Funny how nobody’s talking about that.


United States of McDonald’s

I’ve been following this sad, sad tale of Subway (the sandwich people) and their encounter with Amurican wingnuts who take issue with a German ad/placemat insinuating that (gasp!) Americans tend to be fat due to fast food supersizing. It’s amusing…

Anntichrist S. Coulter

Yeah, what GeoX said. It sure is a good thing that there are no people STARVING in THIS COUNTRY, huh, ’cause all this obsession with protecting megaconglomerates from indie film producers is REALLY IMPORTANT.

And what the fuck has this country come to, when the phrase, “freedom of choice” — REFERS TO FUCKING MCDONALD’S?!?!?!?!??!?!?!

It sure is great that Dumbya’s got the entire country on Prozac and Soylent Green, so that nobody complains about their Stepford implants.

Schrodinger's Meow-r

The Rightwing chastity belt, which went on the minds of the Wingnuts the day after the Supremes stole the election, has only gotten stinky and tight with accumulated dirt over the last 4 years. That is why we hear this high pitch whine of dissonance, which is their version of Politically Correct gone awry. We are watching the atrophied in operation people. This should give us hope.


That’s a woman? And does being ugly cause people to be ignorant?


No, but being evil causes people to be ugly. Witness Ann Coulter, who would probably at least be passable-looking if she wasn’t such a sociopath.


Goooood! Now go out and get all those high-paying jobs (or just go on Prozac — it’s your choice).

Sorry, Prozac don’t do shit for you unless you’re depressed to begin with (as a user myself). But you could always go for that Afghan heroin – thanks to BushCo it’s really cheap these days, I hear (NOT a user myself).


Freud would’ve had a field day with you freaks.


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