Another Year, Another Crappy Comic Strip
All the other SadlyNotzis are still missing in action, the sink lettuce is still taunting the SadlyNotzi offices, and every single bubble in the champagne I drank last night is now ricocheting in my brain like BB pellets being shot at the inside of my skull by an evil elf hiding out in my medulla oblongata. But standards must be upheld. The New Year must be greeted with a new post. So forgive me for resorting to low hanging fruit like today’s Day by Day “comic” strip, which indeed hangs so low that it has already fallen to the ground and I don’t have to get up from the floor to, er, pick it up.
So, let’s start with the artwork. Worst. Fireworks. Ever.
And orange? What’s up with that?
And, of course, what Muir strip would be complete without ineptly drawn anatomy?
Dangerously pointy elbows and talking arms.
Okay, let’s try to find the joke, or even a point to the strip (other than the elbows, of course). The point seems to be a bit of self-justification by Muir, a self-employed industrial designer and comic stripper. His wife has obviously been nagging him to get a life and a real job in 2008 because she’s tired of driving around in a twelve-year old Grand Am. But the ideal woman in the comic strip is topless and completely understands that he’s a loser. Woohoo! The sound of hands stained with FD&C Yellow No. 5 and crusted with cheese whey are heard wildly applauding in basements all over the country.
That was easy, but the joke is a bit more elusive. Does Muir think he’s the only guy that stands up to pee? Or that what women really dig in guys is that we pee standing up and never put the seat down?
The only way to find a joke here is, I think, to put our own in the strip.
There. That’s more like it.
I’m first!
That was a great improvement.
Agreed. Your version at least makes sense.
Are those fireworks, or flowers in a vase?
They sux either way.
As for the hangover, you know what to do.
Jonah Goldberg is complaining:
…some other liberal actually reads the book and offers a sustained argument against it. Honestly: I would actually like to read such a review. So far the reaction from Lefty blogs has been simply inane or deranged. I am sincerely interested in a serious liberal’s — or leftist’s — argument against what I have to say.
Poor Baby!
Threadjack
(Sorry)
Jonah:
“…some other liberal actually reads the book and offers a sustained argument against it. Honestly: I would actually like to read such a review. So far the reaction from Lefty blogs has been simply inane or deranged. I am sincerely interested in a serious liberal’s — or leftist’s — argument against what I have to say.
Its hard to critique a turd.
“Five females depending on me”
Holy s***, what wankery.
I have enough on my plate with “Mallard Fillmore” and two related blogs…so I’m just going to assume those five “females” (what, does the word “women” burns us, precious?) are his wife, daughters, mom, and grandmother–and not his harem (although with your family-values Republicans they’re occasionally the same).
Muir will have to suck harder to be able to compete with Chunky. Simply poorly drawing his fantastical views of human relationships will only go so far. He needs to start redefining reality, not just anatomy.
And I may be wrong about this, but didn’t she just have twins? Anyway, is it important that it’s 5 females? His wife is an adult (and thus could get her own job) but that leaves 4 kids. Are the female ones more helpless? Could he press a boy toddler into work? Does he need to degrade those around him because he has such a low opinion of himself?
Larry David doesn’t pee standing up.
Re your champagne hangover:
I learned my lesson too and no HO this year.
Solution? Buy the good stuff.
I had always gone for the $9 Korbel because I rationalized that those who forked over more were just “paying for the name.” Alas, no. In champagne as in so many other things, you really do get what you pay for.
Chris Muir and his real dolls need to get a room.
stryx: Yes, of course it’s important that it’s “females.” This leads to the hilarious “standing up peeing” wee-wee joke, which is central to his point.
The lady in the strip is made of Silly Putty. That’s the only explination for her frighteningly bent lower back and freakishly long torso.
In the ever-escalating documentation of Muir not knowing a goddamn thing about the female body, it’s also worth pointing out that, in Muir’s own continuity, this is a woman who gave birth to twins about eight weeks ago.
One of the pointy body parts looks to me to be a her shoulder blade.
Why does she have a protruding stomach bone?
So Chris Muir’s drawing naked people now. If only he could draw this would be interesting.
And just to be picky, when you’re at that point in the ‘celebration’ that Muir is suggesting, are you still wearing your glasses?
I know it’s probably just laziness on his part, but don’t both/all his male characters wear glasses? Is it a method of showing the detachment and alienation he feels? Can he not experience the world unmediated, even in his vicarious life? Is it really so painful for him?
And really. Zed? Jobless, malformed Zed? Is that Zed as in zero or Zed as in last?
I guess maybe it really is that painful.
My artist brother swears conservatism and creativity are incompatible. These doodles seem to prove that.
Shorter Jonah: “Why won’t anyone join in serious discussion of my banana-shaped Earth theory? I believe this further proves me right!”
Alternate shorter Jonah: ” http://www.timecube.com ”
Everyone knows people are made out of flubber!
Women don’t really mind that we don’t put the seat down. They *REALLY* mind when we don’t raise it in the first place.
Maybe DBD could devote a week to that. By the way, that’s not her shoulder blade, it’s *HIS* elbow. I hope.
Why did chris muir choose a career path that only demonstrates his utter lack of talent?
Let’s see. Can’t draw, can’t string together a coherent sentence, isn’t funny.
Why, cartoonist is the PERFECT choice.
And what’s so special about being able to pee? I’d like to him NOT pee. For, oh, about two weeks. Now THAT would be a special skill. Like one of the five chinese brothers…
mikey
In fairness, Chris Muir has probably never seen a nude women, so drawing one must be a real challenge.
And the fireworks? Lol, I thought they were palm trees.
And what is the difference between a liberal and a leftist again? Doughy got me all confused when he declared everyone except himself a fascist.
Jonah:
Is Jonah just not trying very hard to find a “serious liberal’s — or leftist’s — argument” regarding “Liberal Fascism”?
Or is he ignoring them because then he’d have to – gulp – respond with … the big bag of nothing that is central to all conservative argumentation?
I found this without even looking very hard.
Is Jonah lazy (very possible) or is he very seriously intellectually dishonest (also very possible, based on my experience in reading his column all these years)?
I vote for a very unattractive combination of the two.
And, yes, Chris Muir does suckit when it comes to being intentionally funny.
Let’s see. Can’t draw, can’t string together a coherent sentence, isn’t funny. Why, cartoonist is the PERFECT choice.
It’s like a guy who makes no good decisions wanting to become The Decider.
Eef Loadberg wanted a serious reply, the sheet-head should have written a serious work.
I say let the ridicule rain down like confetti onto a soggy wintertime street, and may eet be just as hard to clean up after.
Pfui.
Since “Zed” is unemployed I’m looking forward to how he deals with his massive debts. She just had twins and he has two other kids right? Does he live in some fantasy land where maternity wards and ob-gyns are free? Even if his previous insurance paid for it before he became a dead beat I wonder if “Zed” understands whats going to happen to his health care when he gets a new job.
I’m also looking forward to the “Zed goes to the food shelter” episode.
“food shelter” jebus I’m an idiot today. I meant foodshelf of course.
Obviously anyone who wrote a serious critique of “I Blame Teh Liberals” would be derided as a non-serious lefty anyway, so why bother?
Yes, and I look forward to when Zed sends his “females” to day-care…which costs more per week than the average weekly paycheck.
And when Zed takes his “female” kids to the ER for terrifying Croup symptoms, and gets a bill for $700, of which his insurance pays $237.15.
And when Zed’s “female” wife gets postpartum depression, but they can’t afford anti-depressants, so he tells her to “Cheer Up!” or “Snap Out Of It!”
Zed starts writing for an extremist political blog. Zed’s mother pulls some strings at a nationally distributed newspaper, and ends up getting a regular OpEd gig for the newspaper. Zed starts raking in the cash, and spends several years compiling a bunch of illogical essays into a book, and expects to completely change the face of history and political science.
And they
liveddied happily ever after.Does he live in some fantasy land where maternity wards and ob-gyns are free?
My New Year’s resolution is not to remind the US-based Sadly,Naughts that in this case, “fantasy land” = “rest of the developed world”.
Der Pantsenloader won’t find a “serious” critique of the Pantload Opus, because the Pantload Opus is itself deeply unserious. Dood wasted 450+ pages obsessively/compulsively scribbling, “no, YOU are!”
How can one possibly respond to such idiocy intelligently?
“And when Zed takes his “female” kids to the ER for terrifying Croup symptoms…(a)nd when Zed’s “female” wife gets postpartum depression…”
I’d expect the resolution to look something like this:
How can one possibly respond to such idiocy intelligently?
By pointing out the most risible elements of thees sheetheaded book and laughing at them, again and again.
Further, by making sure that many other pipples also know about the most risible elements of thees sheetheaded book, and are laughing at them as well
so.
My New Year’s resolution is not to remind the US-based Sadly,Naughts…
You see what I did there?
Rightwingsnarkle: Yes, it would be fun to see (unemployed) Zed struggling with the Bureaucracy to help him with his medical bills.
1. At least she finally unlatched those babies from her chest.
2. How did she drop her pregnancy weight after sitting in bed nursing for weeks?
3. Where is his shoulder?
4. Speaking of arms: Judging from these drawings their hands must touch their upper calf.
5. And the lady only appears to have one arm. Maybe the twins tore it off.
. . . and another thing! If that happened (the struggle over Med. bills) it would make the comic strip –gasp!—Liberal! But still not funny. Of course, he COULD pay the bills with his credit-card, then renege on payments….declare bankruptcy! It’s Easy! *And* funny –to conservatives.
Off topic: Does any one else see a message in the confetti of today’s Google graphic? I make out SYNIACK which seems to be a hackr handle, but I can’t make out the rest.
Apophasis (also called praeteritio or occupatio)
I thought preterito was a Spanish past tense. Are you calling Pantload a Mexican?!
Why does Johan LœdedHösen care what a fascist says about his book?
Worst. Fireworks. Ever.
What–weren’t those palm trees?
OK, Smut Clyde, dammit. This is what I love/hate about you. I read you up-thread and went Oh, yeah! I get to point out Smut Clyde’s apophasis! This is gonna rock so hard! And then . . . well . . . now I’m sad.
But still I can point out my favorite apophasis from teh theatah: Susan in David Hare’s Plenty: “No one here will mention death rattle of the ruling class.”
If goldberg is so sure Liberals –leftists– are fascists, then what value can he put to our opinions? His response to any critique is “Oh, those “inane or deranged” Liberal Fascists!”
They’re not badly drawn, they’re pink sleestaks!
I make out SYNIACK
I’ll have whatever Jay is smoking.
I guess I’m not surprised that Jonah would overlook my critiques up to this point. For one, I haven’t posted anything on the book itself, only his previews.
But it’s also a typical right-wing tendency regarding “serious” debate. By “serious,” they usually mean punching bags like Alan Colmes. After all, Malkin has never mentioned my work on her even once, either. These guys want to debate emoticons, not facts.
I’ll have a more thorough review in TAP shortly, after which I’ll be posting quite a bit more at my blog. We’ll see if Jonah responds.
Smut Clyde, apophasis or no, you have to keep reminding people of that. We have to keep telling people that, in fact, Europe is NOT a scaaaary socialist wasteland where no one receives healthcare, but instead, a group of nations with higher quality of care than the United States–lower infant mortality, better maternity care…it’s pathetic. Maybe if we keep reminding people, they’ll finally *get it*.
Hey, maybe Zed’s wifey (whose ribcage appears to have been awkwardly melted/otherwise appended to Zed’s torso) is in such good shape after because she underwent re-education, a post-childbirth process that is standard in France (and totally awesome) for women. Oh wait, no. She doesn’t live in a “fantasy land” like France.
As a progressive, I have been hard pressed to find any conservative comic strip that makes a real attempt at true humor (including laughing at oneself).
The day bay day strip is actually pretty good at doing that and intentionally keeps the artwork at a clutzy level. I think there is a lot more out there that could be critiqued without picking these folks.
you will note that this strip actually acknowledges that despite the rah-rah cheering of team W , the economy really sucks for the non-millionaire set.
The strip is worth going through the archives to get a better sense of. To critique a daily strip on the basis of a holiday edition is not really playing fair.
Jay,
It says SYN SYN ACK ACK. Check this out!
SYN SYN ACK ACK, TCPIP handshake synchronization and acknowledgment. I googled it…
Darn you, Adara! Darn you to HECK!
I BEAT YOU, TIGRISMUS! YOU’RE A FASCIST!
*maniacal terrorism laughter*
I’ll have whatever Jay is smoking.
No, really, it’s there – sort of. To me it looks like SYN SYN/ACK ACK, which are meaningful in the Transmission Control Protocol which is the backbone of the Toobz. Google is also celebrating 25 years of TCP/IP.
The strip is worth going through the archives to get a better sense of. To critique a daily strip on the basis of a holiday edition is not really playing fair.
¡OMFGatozers!
I laughed so hard that I almost coughed out a hairball through my eyesocket.
¿reboot; so, I take eet thees ees jour first visit?
Joo might weesh to check out Sadly, No!’s archives before joo go throwing around accusations of unfair play.
Pffft.
…and while I typed that, a bunch of other people splained it. You people rock.
Thanks, Dave!
I’m planning on buying and reading “Liberal Fascism,” but only after I find it as cheap as I can get it. By the the time I get it, there may be no point in reviewing it. But I think a write-up of why I got it so cheap may be eye-opening to many people.
I eagerly await your further commentary on Jonah’s book! (I’m rather under the impression that Jonah’s research mostly consisted of watching “Hogan’s Heroes” and taking notes every time Col. Hogan started ordering the other POWs around. “Look! More liberal fascism!”)
(I love “Hogan’s Heroes,” by the way. I’ve been making my way through the Season Six DVDs lately, pondering how this show – which debuted the year I was born – influenced my early thinking on America and its role in the world.)
The strip is worth going through the archives to get a better sense of.
No it’s not.
[…”to get a better sense of…of…of what?]
To critique a daily strip on the basis of a holiday edition is not really playing fair.
You’re new around here, ain’t cha?
It is true that as a liberal I may be a fascist, but you’re a big meanie poopy-head! There, I said it!
The fact is, I keep fallowing these links your provide that promise reasoned debate and argument and critique of “Liberal Fascism”, but Goldberg is correct. There is no substantive comeback besides puerile, infantile namecalling and ad homonym and straw man. Which means you have nothing to challenge the facts, and he has them. Along with the footnotes and sources, which you never provide, just incoherent ranting and links to some leftist biased loon who also rants. Your debate style is like that of monkeys flinging feces. MThis makes us conservatives the zookeepers, who must clean up after you and feed you. Maybe we should just send you into the wild and have you fend for yourselves, without grants and subsidies and free education and welfare? I think so too. Perhaps some of you will change your ways and work hard to survivce like we do, but it is not likely.
Didn’t Zed used to be a black guy?
Somewhere back in teh spam filter I have a post guessing that those fireworks are probably flowers (poorly drawn, whether fireworks or flowers).
That’s as much ‘fairness’ as Chris Muir deserves.
He should get a real job, as should the doughy pantload and the rest of the wingnut welfare crew.
In fact, I think there is plenty of work for all of them in irackeystan.
an evil elf hiding out in my medulla oblongata.
Was it Meghan?
Not sure what approach you’re going to take but I wouldn’t bet on it. You’ll have to praise it before he sees you as a “serious” liberalleftofascist.
And by praise I mean “OMG THIS IZ TEH BESTEST BOOK EVAR!”
Gary Ruppert said, blah blah blah you only make ad hominem arguments, you poo-flinging monkies…
I take it back, Adara, you’re not the poopy head.
No, really, it’s there – sort of. To me it looks like SYN SYN/ACK ACK
OK, I see it now. The Manhattan, straight up, helped a lot.
And reboot, the cool thing about Day By Day is that it doesn’t just suck on holidays. It sucks day by day.
I’m looking for Jon Swift’s review of “Liberal Fascism– From Natural Childbirth to Forced Abortions”
Hurry up, JON! Please!
From Amazon’s description of D’oughboy’s book”
Fascism was an international movement that appeared in *different forms in different countries,* depending on the vagaries of national culture and temperament. In Germany, fascism appeared as genocidal racist nationalism. In America, it took a “friendlier,” more liberal form. The modern heirs of this “friendly fascist” tradition include the New York Times, the Democratic Party, the Ivy League professoriate, and the liberals of Hollywood. The quintessential Liberal Fascist isn’t an SS storm trooper; it is a female grade school teacher with an education degree from Brown or Swarthmore.
So it seems, to Goldberg at least, that Fascism is whatever he says it is.
Yep. Here’s a fun exercise: replace every instance of fascist/fascism in his book with “poopyhead”, and you’ll understand the level at which it is written.
Good thing for us that fascism isn’t spying on citizens without a warrant, denial of habeas corpus, torturing prisoners, and inventing reasons to make war upon other countries.
Not to mention accusing any and everyone who calls you out on the same of being a traitor to the nation.
Because then we might be in trouble.
Fozzetti, if memory serves, that description comes straight from the book jacket, which was written by Johan, some drone at Doublewide/Randomcrap, or Johan’s mom.
I keep going back to the dreaded female grade school teacher. Does this mean that female high school teachers who got their degree at either the college are OK? What about male grade school teachers?
Of course, I’m assuming he isn’t just venting some bile because he got shot down by students from both colleges.
Wait.
Shot down it is.
Also: Bwaha.
OK, I see it now. The Manhattan, straight up, helped a lot.
Thanks, Adara.
Smoke that Frowning Mortician!!11!!
Does Muir think he’s the only guy that stands up to pee?
I think that learning to pee standing up was the last time that he, or any member of his target audience, got unalloyed praise for his penis-related activities. Since then, it’s been nothing but catcalls, giggles, and comments like “I’m calling the police, you pervert!”
Hey, what about me? Why all the love for that mythical female Swarthmore-degree teacher?
Looksists.
Annie, don’t forget the crying from the other side of the bed.
I’ve been thinking that since Muir sets his strip in some place where palm trees grow, we can look forward to strips about foreclosure and bankruptcy.
So don’t worry, Chris. As bad as things seem now, they can always get worse. I’m pretty sure Child Protective Services won’t take your kids away right off the bat.
zomg, I second Anne Laurie’s suggestion. Tigrismus–and please accept my apologies for the taunting; I temporarily forgot that I, too, am fascist–liberal–leftist. Styx, I don’t think Muir even gets that far. At least I hope not.Gary Ruppert makes me want to laugh, but I can’t. That liberals don’t work hard is a really hilarious assertion. Come on–just exposing the illegal and immoral antics of Republicans/conservatives is a whole career’s worth of work.
I tried to insert br tags, but they didn’t work. *sadface*
It’s the first day of a New Year. This will be the year that Gary and other gooper trolls actually attempt to have a conversation with people who disagree with them, I can feel it. Rather than just faithfully regurgitating Puke talking points all over the place.
The fact is, I keep fallowing(sic) these links your provide that promise reasoned debate and argument and critique of “Liberal Fascism”, but Goldberg is correct. There is no substantive comeback besides puerile, infantile namecalling and ad homonym(sic) and straw man.(sic)
What did I tell ya! He’s disavowed the ad hominem attack, name calling, and the straw man. He didn’t spell it correctly, but hey his heart is in the right place!
Your debate style is like that of monkeys flinging feces.
Oh well, maybe next year will be the year.
Now, back to planning the War on Easter.
Here is my quick attempt of dialogue adjustment / remix.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/22362554@N03/2155972801/
Full disclosure time: when I skimmed the comic strip, I assumed it was a S,N! re-mix. “Ah,” I thought. “Not wildly, sweepingly unfunny, but not particularly funny either. I wonder what the original punchline was like.” That reaction still held, even after it dawned on me that that was the original punchline.
So rather than mocking Muir, this is why I’m sticking to apophasis, and own-petard-hoisting, and thwarting Smiling Mortician.
Stryx, I’m not going to harsh my mood by considering the possibility that any live female person actually got into bed with Muir in the first place. At least, not without payment in advance.
Perhaps Muir intends to do a trenchant graphic commentary on the rise in unemployment and subsequent struggles to survive among formerly middle-class red-state Americans. Of course Trudeau already did that back during Gerry Ford’s Big Happy Face Recession (Whip Inflation Now buttons all round, kids!) . But Muir’s putative readers can’t remember that far back, and besides, unlike Trudeau’s reality-based characters, Muir’s cutouts will no doubt blame their incipient homelessness on immigrants, Muslims, and/or liberal fascists. I’d offer a bet, but then I might have to go read the strip, and… no . Just no.
Apophasis, meh. Personally, I’m sticking to aposiopesis. Because aposiopesis makes me want to
Smoke that Frowning Mortician!!11!!
OK.
[smiles again]
Gary Ruppert:
I’d like you to explain to me how my post on Goldberg’s thesis — linked above — is “puerile, infantile name-calling, ad hominem and strawman”? You mean that part where I point out that Goldberg is just factually wrong about the Nazis being leftists and socialists, manifested by the mass arrests of said leftists and socialists upon their assumption of power — that’s just a strawman? Please explain how/
I mean, it’s not like I don’t have experience with real-life fascism. I actually have been studying the phenomenon for rather longer than Goldberg, and I’ve been doing it on the ground. And trust me, he doesn’t “have the facts.” Not even close.
But we’ll be discussing that in greater detail over the next couple of weeks.
Man, I can barely keep my eyes open at this point, but the prospect of a Bimler/Mortician throwdown is gonna keep me pounding Refresh for at least an hour.
Hang on, just a second while I open a dictionary in a new tab, a thesaurus, Wikipedia and Google in their own tabs.
Alright. I’ll still be in way over my head, but I’m ready to run along behind laughing at stuff as I figure it out…
mikey
Smoke that Frowning Mortician!!11!!
OK.
[smiles again]
And all was well in Sadly, No!dom.
Hang on, just a second while I open a dictionary in a new tab, a thesaurus, Wikipedia and Google
Don’t forget the scotch. You don’t wanna go into something like this unprepared.
Don’t forget the scotch.
Indeed. Part of the Basic Load.
Just thought it would go without saying. It’d be like going out on Night Ambush without darvons.
Or going into Pleiku without all the scrip you can gather up….
mikey
Trying to engage fake Gary in intelligent conversation is a bit like me asking my cat to fetch me another beer.
I swear I saw another DBD strip with a different unclothed female and she was wearing the same panties.
Fetish, lack of artistic skill, both?
And are you sure those are fireworks?
Smoke that Frowning Mortician!!11!!
If you got ‘im.
I keep thinking that eel-woman should be saying,
“I’m not freakishly elongated and bent in the back, “I’m just drawn that way!”
Trying to engage fake Gary in intelligent conversation is a bit like me asking my cat to fetch me another beer.
Too true. I appreciate David Neiwert’s posting the link and challenge he did, though, because while it won’t penetrate Gare-bear’s hardened skull armor it does constitute a solid good-faith refutation of Gary’s blather, a good thing to have on record in the thread, and maybe some people who weren’t aware of the article will have a look.
Plus, a refutation makes Gary have to go running back to the blast-fax oracle to see what his new orders are, or something. We can hope.
No, maybe they are palm trees. But they are still orange, which is the wrong color both for fireworks and for palm trees.
I say they’re supposed to be fireworks. If they’re supposed to be palm trees, then what is that palm-tree-looking-thing in the lower left hand corner of the first strip?
Even I, an artistically retarded person, could draw fireworks better than that. Or at least more accurately.
I appreciate David Neiwert’s posting the link and challenge he did
Agreed, Sam. No, it won’t make a dent in the garybot’s thick perception, but both posts are well worth the read and, yeah, it’s incredibly good faith argument.
My New Year’s resolution is not to remind the US-based Sadly,Naughts that in this case, “fantasy land” = “rest of the developed world”.
Smut Clyde, apophasis or no, you have to keep reminding people of that. We have to keep telling people that, in fact, Europe is NOT a scaaaary socialist wasteland where no one receives healthcare, but instead, a group of nations with higher quality of care than the United States–lower infant mortality, better maternity care…it’s pathetic. Maybe if we keep reminding people, they’ll finally *get it*.
I’d just like to take this opportunity to not remind people that Europe and the US do not make up the totality of the developed world. Europe’s health care pales beside East Asia’s
“Wrong” sums up the entire strip. Wrong grip on the pens, wrong way of drawing perspective, wrong idea of what’s funny … the list is endless.
Given the other S,N! improvements to the strip I first thought you’d stuck them in to symbolize some sort of NYE fap fest, though orange and green would signal a need to see the doctor, stat.
OK, yech. Fireworks it is, even if it does appear one is emerging from the chimney and two more are attacking the palm tree.
I’d just like to take this opportunity to not remind people that Europe and the US do not make up the totality of the developed world. Europe’s health care pales beside East Asia’s
No. Nope. NOOO.
I’m pretty sure that Karl Rove and Saxby Chambliss told me this is a lie.
And Rudy woulda died of Prostate Cancer if he lived anywhere but the freakin US.
mikey
“Since “Zed” is unemployed I’m looking forward to how he deals with his massive debts. She just had twins and he has two other kids right? Does he live in some fantasy land where maternity wards and ob-gyns are free? Even if his previous insurance paid for it before he became a dead beat I wonder if “Zed” understands whats going to happen to his health care when he gets a new job.”
I’m looking forward to the “Zed gets the bill for his COBRA premiums” strip, and realizes it costs more than his monthly rent.
I could be mistaken but I think the fireworks are a font that ships with Macromedia fireworks.
This one’s for Johan.
O noes! Fascists in Brittania!
“Europe’s health care pales beside East Asia’s”
East Asia?
Are you high, insane, or an asshole?
I lived for twelve years in Asia.
Perhaps you’re refering to the health care for the rich?
Even in Japan, the system sucks compared to Europe.
Those “fireworks” look like the incredibly stylized extremities that pass for a (headless) human being in the adverts for Restasis™, the Restless Legs Syndrome medication that we old people who still watch tee vee news are exposed to.
And are you sure those are fireworks?
No, maybe they are palm trees. But they are still orange, which is the wrong color both for fireworks and for palm trees.
If the fronds or sparkles were a little narrower, I could accept them as koosh ball follicles. Those can definitely be orange.
I couldn’t give two shits about RLS. What we really need is a medication for RDS, restless dick syndrome. Think of the relationships that could be saved.
Sort of an anti-Viagara™? Or saltpeter? Maybe just a nice leash? Although if the restless urge is there, the relationship may not be worth saving.
I lived for twelve years in Asia.
How special you must feel.
Malignant – ah..but suppose it’s for relentless dick syndrome.
Imagine there’s no Cheney. It’s easy if you try.
Restless dick makes me think of Detachable Penis. But what about something for relentless dick syndrome? Think of the blogs that would be saved from persistent trolls!
SYN SYN ACK ACK, TCPIP has an uncanny resemblance to the pre-coffee noises I make in the morning.
Complete OT, but I am delighted to find out — courtesy of FlipYrWhig’s link — that Wikipedia provides a category of “articles with too many examples” (sample entries: Aposiopesis, Baritenor, Jack Bauer, Big Dumb Object…).
It’s almost as good as Borges’ classification of animals into:
1. those that belong to the Emperor,
2. embalmed ones,
3. those that are trained,
4. suckling pigs,
5. mermaids,
6. fabulous ones,
7. stray dogs,
8. those included in the present classification,
9. those that tremble as if they were mad,
10. innumerable ones,
11. those drawn with a very fine camelhair brush,
12. others,
13. those that have just broken a flower vase,
14. those that from a long way off look like flies.
“Relentless Dick Syndrome” would be an excellent name for a band. Or a faux blues guy name, although I probably shouldn’t encourage that. Or a wrestler from, say, Memphis in the late ’60s, some guy that went up against Sputnik Monroe.
Ugh. Barf. This comic makes me want to have nothing to do with any other human being ever. Eww, eww, eww, yuck.
Europe’s health care pales beside East Asia’s
got to back up gaspode’s comment here, depending on where you mean by East Asia, some of the health care is probably up to or near the standard of Europe, if you have the money…. If you dont, you are screwed. So yanna, an more snarky comments?
Is that the real David Neiwert? I feel… unworthy……
D’oh. Zed is the progressive conservative flagship comic strip hero. Kind of like that asshole Marmaduke. Zed will never see a Cobra payment, an OB-GYN bill or a post-partum depressed wifey. He’ll miraculously be “Headhunted” into a 6-figure, low stress job with a gazillion perks and benefits including but not limited to
RE-EDUCATION!!!1!
Oh, Zed! (Whatever could that be short for? Maybe a jab at Zonker w/a British alfa pronunciation).
Also, I saw a commercial tonight put out by somethingorother.gov asking if I had a plan in case of a TERRORIST ATTACK !?! There were several shots of preteens asking things like “What if you’re not home?” “Should I go to the neighbors?” and “Will you still pick me up from soccer practice?”
I initially thought it was a MAD-TV style spoof . After replaying it a few times I stopped laughing. WTF?
Yonna,
I was going to mention East Asia (particularly VietNam, since I’ve read about post-childbirth learn-to-take-care-of-babies units for new families there), but I only mentioned Europe because a) I’m fairly sure Smut Clyde is from Europe and b) Republicans/conservatives don’t compare our potential health care systems to Asia’s, but to Europe’s. Just FYI!
I went through this before, but it’s a fun thing to try at home. Write down the characterisitics that *were* relatively unique to the Nazis, the defining characteristics, then compare them with liberal and conservative ideologies of today. That is the only rebuttal to Jonah’s dreck that is needed.
Jonah reminds me of the grade school student who, when asked to stop talking in class, calls his teacher a Nazi. That’s his thought level.
The other day I was thinking about 1984 and Animal Farm. They were anti-Communist, anti-Russian books but today they apply fine to the good old US of A. Snowball, who is blamed for everything in Animal Farm even when it makes no sense, is today’s “Islamofacist.” Corey Lidle hit a building? Must be an islamofacist. Guy shoot up a school? Must be an Islamofacist. Etc etc.
In case of terrorist attack, fucking PICK UP YOUR KIDS FROM SOCCER PRACTICE NOOOWWWW
Seriously, what kind of plan could you have in place for something completely unpredictable??? Did they give examples? “In case of terrorist attack, promptly retrieve your children from soccer practice, then proceed to the nearest underground stronghold.” How can anyone expect to have a “plan” in place when the infrastructure isn’t even there…?
Nice to know a guv’mint agency is paying for pointless sensationalism.
*FRUSTRATION*
lobbey said,
January 2, 2008 at 8:02
Europe’s health care pales beside East Asia’s
got to back up gaspode’s comment here, depending on where you mean by East Asia, some of the health care is probably up to or near the standard of Europe, if you have the money…. If you dont, you are screwed. So yanna, an more snarky comments?
Of course I do, whattyouthinkiam somekinda snark-lightweight? I stole Swank’s boy and am currently fattening him up for pagan blood sacrifice. What have you done lately besides watch mark stain on a broken webpage?
Adara said,
January 2, 2008 at 10:01
Yonna,
I was going to mention East Asia (particularly VietNam, since I’ve read about post-childbirth learn-to-take-care-of-babies units for new families there), but I only mentioned Europe because a) I’m fairly sure Smut Clyde is from Europe and b) Republicans/conservatives don’t compare our potential health care systems to Asia’s, but to Europe’s. Just FYI!
A real disappointment that since many east Asian health care systems really work. I may not have gaspodes vast anecdotal evidence of things past, but then, I was talking about now.
Based on quality of care provided, quality of facilities, percentage of population covered, percentage of gdp spent, Singapore and Japan rank number one and two. South Korea and Thailand also rank higher than many European countries.
Of course, I shouldn’t have made the gross generalization of all East Asia, and i apologize, why, thats as silly as making the all of Europe gross generalization.
Lets just say that, in present times, not some gaspodal anecdotal times in the past, Singapore and Japan have the best public health care in the world.
Its also interesting to note that one of the poorest countries in the world, Nepal, has public health care. The facilities blow and the patient pays for his own medicine and surgical supplies, but meds and supplies are way cheaper than in the US and the doctors aren’t worse.
Wrong. “Continue reading whatever book you were reading” is the correct answer.
In case of terrorist attack, fucking PICK UP YOUR KIDS FROM SOCCER PRACTICE NOOOWWWW
What do I do in case of a soccer attack? Do I pass out exploding belts?
Doesn’t Muir outsource his artwork anyway?
And of course she’s instantly skinny again after supposedly having quintuplets or something last month…
Those fireworks are awesomly teh suck, if indeed they be fireworks. But are they? (Somebody suggested they might be flowers.)
I ask because, though we spent a full hour, as we do every 31 Dec., firing rockets to ward off the new year (didn’t work, alas), I had always thought this a European thing. I can’t recall seeing or hearing fireworks on New Year’s Eve when we lived in the US — that was always, and only, on Independence Day. And surely upstanding Americans like the Day By Day guy are not going to allow their country’s precious bodily fluids to be contaminated by a European custom, of all things?
But then, as flowers they suck, too.
BTW, Dave Neiwert: your point is well taken, of course. The flaw in your argument, if I may point it out, is that you are Dave Neiwert and your opponent is Gary Ruppert. It’s not that there’s anything wrong or invalid in your argument as such. It’s that somebody like you bothering to engage Ruppert at all, especially on the question of where fascism is to be found in modern America, is a little like Robert Dietz taking time to argue the merits of plate tectonics with a flat-earther.
There were fireworks in Columbus, Ohio for New Years.
Of course, just about any excuse is good for fireworks here…they set them off every few months for one thing or another.
It’s the vase on the mantlepiece over the fireplace that makes me suspect flowers…not that the art, such as it is, would give it away.
Seriously, what kind of plan could you have in place for something completely unpredictable???
I’d suggest a first aid kit, bottled water, a parka and a sweater, some canned food, flashlight, candles, a tarp and sleeping bag, goggles, dustmasks, good boots- you know, the usual, hey an earthquake might hit any day kinda stuff.
You mean you all don’t have that prepared? Freakin lazy-ass merkins.
I’d suggest a first aid kit, bottled water, a parka and a sweater, some canned food, flashlight, …
Goddamn it, i hate it when i change computers and it changes my nym.
Not that i disagree with what that Juliet Smith bitch said, but I’ll saw her up into firewood and burn her in my woodstove given half a chance.
The fact is, even smartypants liberals like Neiwert cannot engage me with facts or logic. Their liberal bias degenerates into slogans, insults and pretentious references to irrelevent sources. Goldberg has you all nailed dead to rights, and he can back it up with reality and facts. Youve got nothing.
Adara said,
January 2, 2008 at 10:01
Yonna,
I was going to mention East Asia (particularly VietNam, since I’ve read about post-childbirth learn-to-take-care-of-babies units for new families there), but I only mentioned Europe because a) I’m fairly sure Smut Clyde is from Europe and b) Republicans/conservatives don’t compare our potential health care systems to Asia’s, but to Europe’s. Just FYI!
Okay.
We need to test.
I propose a reality tv type thing. Amercans love that shit.
We need a trustworthy Ryan Seacrestesque mensch. I’m suggesting we spring Mikey from whatever godforsaken county detention center and let him judge.
Surely he has an anvil that me and Smut could lift with our back not our knees and blow out an inguinal hole. Mikey could test with the finger up the testical bit just to make sure.
Then Smut comes here to Tokyo and gets fixed on my insurance and i go to wherever he is and get fixed on his insurance. Mikey wears Armani, the crowd calls in to vote for the most believable treatment, FremantleMedia pays us millions, its win win all around.
Seriously, its about time we got paid for commenting on this blog.
Gary Ruppert said,
January 2, 2008 at 15:07
The fact is, even smartypants liberals like Neiwert cannot engage me with facts or logic. Their liberal bias degenerates into slogans, insults and pretentious references to irrelevent sources. Goldberg has you all nailed dead to rights, and he can back it up with reality and facts. Youve got nothing.
And Gary gets to cry tears of joy in the audience. Sweet.
In case of a terrorist attack, get on the internet and look up information about what to do in the event of a terrorist attack!!
Of course, everyone else will do the same thing while trying to call everyone they know and communications will be sc-rewed for a while so maybe you should just go back to reading My Pet Goat.
Great, now you’ve got legitimate people responding to your most likely fake trolls. I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY. Or, as one would say on AOL in 1996: I HOPE YOUR HAPPY.
It is good that finally you are including good patriot American conservative comics on your not funny and hate America website. This cartoon finally shows that it is okay for a man not to work and yet still have a lot of women who know their place to support him and also be very attractive and limber and wear the stuff that pleases him. Maybe you can also find that funny comic about the duck who shows all the Clinton lies.
“Also, I saw a commercial tonight put out by somethingorother.gov asking if I had a plan in case of a TERRORIST ATTACK !?! There were several shots of preteens asking things like “What if you’re not home?” “Should I go to the neighbors?” and “Will you still pick me up from soccer practice?”
We’re all extras in a Paul Verhoeven movie now.
The fact is, even smartypants liberals like Neiwert cannot engage me with facts or logic.
That’s true. You’re totally immune to facts and logic.
Seriously, what kind of plan could you have in place for something completely unpredictable???
Yes, well, that’s the problem with this kind of focus on “terrorist” attack. Families should have support systems to handle problems, whether its a matter of a horrific disaster or simply mom having a flat tire on the way home from work. To isolate it down to “what will you do if there’s a terrorist attack” is just fear mongering.
It also posits as a “given” the presumption that families are isolated, physically distant from one another routinely, and that children are without resources or initiative.
Hell, at 8 years old I knew what to do when I missed the schoolbus home from school – why wouldn’t families already know what to do if something unusual occurs?
“Should I go to the neighbors?”
The perfect illustration of this kind of false assumption. In real life, a kid would not have to ask it, because it would already be a part of their lives that they would go to [insert family friend’s name here]’s house.
Yeah, seriously. It would almost be like if there were people hired and working in, like, the Pentagon (and maybe other buildings) whose job it was to outline possible threats and figger out what we should like maybe do about it.
I’m sure the Centers for Disease Control don’t waste their time thinking about epidemics that might happen because that is impossible.
“I’m sure the Centers for Disease Control don’t waste their time thinking about epidemics that might happen because that is impossible unpossible.”
Fixed.
THAT WORKED IN PREVIEW!!!!1one!eleven!!
rack a frackin’ frick frack HTML…
Slightly longer Jo’berg:
I am sincerely interested in a serious liberal’s — or leftist’s — argument against what I have to say.
…Because that would legitimize what I wrote and make everybody think I am a serious political philosopher. If all I get are snark and insults, I guess I can capitalize on that and call liberals chickens as well as fascists, but that’s not as good as if they treat my screed like a real thought-provoking book that deserves a serious response.
Shorter Jo’berg:
I AM SEROUS THINKR! U SHUD RITE BOUT MAH SEROUS THINKS!
those were fireworks? I thought it was a palm tree.
OMFG – this is totally OT but you must – MUST – check out the LOLcat Bible Project:
http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Genesis_1
If Jobust Goldbutt is able to clearly outline his ‘arguments’ (of which there are none, only attributions), his methodologies, and the evidence used, then he would be at the beginning stage of being considered. He cannot and will not do so.
Oh, that explains a lot! I’ve been wondering why that comic was so aggresively unfunny, now I understand. It’s conservative “humor,” as seen on Fox News! And here I thought the author was being somehow stealthily deconstructivist.
Actually, the elbow is completely within normal anatomical limits.
If you’re a Kilmer, that is:
http://www.quickstopentertainment.com/squib/images/2003/june5/kilmer.jpg
Post something! I beg of you.
I’d rather see photos of sink lettuce than Muir (rhymes with sewer)’s “cartoons.”
I think Goldbutt may want to take a gander at the cover of American Conservative magazine this month.
The article (“Declaring Forever War”) pretty much portrays Rudy Giuliani as a Mussolini-esque character (complete with 9/11) armband and porting his book declaring World War IV, all of which goes to show you how dangerous grade school teachers have become since the fascist French revolutionaries poisoned all the trees and then their fruit, since they try to make politics into a religion and also get beyond politics, which is central to my point.
What Lesley said. Have mercy.
Oh, man that Lolcatbible shit is funny.
Spanx, celticgirl!
I’m brecoming a ltiile concerned about you, El Cid.
I think you might be in the onset stage of LDS (Loadpants Derangement Syndrome). Seek help, please! And, for the love of Maud, STAY AWAY FROM THE CHEETOS!
I’m even more concerned about my ability to use the instant preview, but that’s a whole ‘nother issue.
Yay! Verilee iz teh lolcat biblez teh bestest evar!
What happened? Is everyone OK? I will return with help, I promise….and STAY AWAY FROM THE CHEETOS! Thanks t4, good to see you’re on top of things.
She’s not even wearing thong underwear!
I mean, if you’re a thorough loser who is going to write a comic about your fantasies of a perfectly docile understanding woman, the bitch ought to be wearing thong underwear.
Fun idea: taking a page from the Mormons and gay-marrying the dead to each other.
I hereby pronounce Liberace and Ronald Reagan married.
Some dedicated prankster could make a funny little uproar out of such a project.
My favorite lolcat verse(s) so far — John 3:16, naturally:
16 So liek teh Ceiling Cat lieks teh ppl lots and he sez ‘Oh hai I givez u my only kittens and ifs u beleevs in him u wont evr diez no moar, k?’ 17 Cuz teh Ceiling Cat not snd hiz son 2 take all yur cookies, but so u cud maek moar cookies 4EVAR! 18 U beleevz him u getz cheezburgrs, but els you get invisibul error.
And OMG there’s an audio version. This could suck up most of my day, at least until something replaces Chris Muir at the top of the page.
Mortician. If you do get tired of bad english as humor, go check out Rudy’s solution for his poll-er plummet.
Simple really.
Just go to war.
With everyone…
mikey
“I mean, if you’re a thorough loser who is going to write a comic about your fantasies of a perfectly docile understanding woman, the bitch ought to be wearing thong underwear.”
I don’t know; I think the boy-shorts look is pretty fantastic.
I think the boy-shorts look is pretty fantastic.
Well in this case, fantastic hooray or fantastic science fiction?
Shorter me: boy-shorts = teh hot.
Topless woman: Happy new year, Zed.
Zed: They downsized my job, and we can’t pay our subprime mortgage.
Topless woman: Damn those liberal fascists! And Bill Clinton!
Zed: Yeah, fucking faggot traitors. But they’ll never take away my guns!
Topless woman: Yeah, honey, why don’t you go out and shoot at some Mexicans? That always makes you feel better.
Then Smut comes here to Tokyo and gets fixed on my insurance and i go to wherever he is and get fixed on his insurance.
Inguinal surgery fotografs?
Do not want.
What Legalize said. Rawr. A nice two piece with boy shorts and a tankini or halter top? Oh yes.
A nice two piece with boy shorts and a tankini or halter top? thong underwear?
Yes, of course. Just what every “bitch” who is breastfeeding eight-week-old twins wants to wear. So comfortable, and convenient.
Why Won’t Conservatives Offer A Serious Critique Of My “Republicans Are Really Stupid” Thesis?
I think the point was not about what kinda of sexy draws we like to see our wimminfolks in, but what kind of underwear would be fitting for Chris Muir to expect his docile, doting pointy chicks to be sporting.
mikey- I spend two days a week with a three year old who effectively is a LOLbaby. I have entire conversations involving the translation of LOLbaby to and from English. So the LOLcats are funny to me because they are, in a way, part of my reality.e.g:
Me: You want your brankey, Tait?
Tait: Don’t want it my brankey.
Me: You no want it your brankey, Tait? Could I interest you in a cookie?
Tait: I love it a cookie!
When in Rome…
Oh.
I see.
Shorter T4Toby:
Guys, c’mon!
mikey – LOLzers!!!1!
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.
Every single person I went to see on my various holiday and year-ending road trips, be they friends, family or mere passers-by gave me a different, even more virulent strain of the feverish/snotty/coughing/can’t sleep crud. And I had to go back to work today.
Am I crabby? You betcher ass.
But in a pathetic, helpless, whimpering way.
My personal suckage today could power Cleveland, Ohio….
mikey
The only good news in my world is we’re gonna get walloped by three consecutive major pacific storms between tomorrow and Sunday.
As some trolls are fond of Pie, I Like Rain!
mikey
Check out alicublog where the author comments upon this Lee Harris quote:
“In a world that absurdly overrates the advantage of sheer brain power, no one wants to be seen as a member in good standing of the stupid party. Yet stupidity has been and will always remain the best defense mechanism against the ordinary conman and the intellectual dreamer…”
You should come see us up here mikey. We know from rain!
I can’t recall seeing or hearing fireworks on New Year’s Eve when we lived in the US…
Well, in many American urban areas, there’s a long-standing tradition of shooting off guns to “welcome” the New Year, with the concommitent accidental/accidental-on-purpose tragedies. In an attempt to discourage this, an increasing number of cities have started throwing “First Night Celebrations”, most of which culminate in fireworks at midnight. I’m assuming Chris Muir is referencing some version of this kind of celebration.
I live near Boston, which claims they had the original First Night 30-odd years ago, and this year’s party had TWO fireworks displays — the “family fireworks” at 7pm, on the Common, after the parade down Boylston Street, and the much larger (televised on the news) blast at midnight over the Customs House. The tv reporters claimed that a million people attended, and while some of the ones on camera had obviously had recourse to the original mood-enhancer, there were no reports of significant mayhem afterwards, so the program achieved its purpose.
Fozzetti, you cut off the best part of the Harris quote, where he demonstrates a complete lack of understanding of The Odyssey, both the details and the overall thematic meaning, in a single subordinate clause. It’s beautiful.
I hereby declare Tricky Dick Nixon and J. Edgar Hoover Adam & Steve but don’t tell Bebe Rebozo. He’ll be so jealous.
Smiling Mortician: I just didn’t want to spoil Aliculbog’s fun. Ironic tho, using the crafty con-artist Odysseus as an example of a ‘stupid’ person.
t4toby said,
January 2, 2008 at 21:17
I think the point was not about what kinda of sexy draws we like to see our wimminfolks in, but what kind of underwear would be fitting for Chris Muir to expect his docile, doting pointy chicks to be sporting.
I was hoping that wouldn’t need an explanation, but thank you.
It’s the vase on the mantlepiece over the fireplace that makes me suspect flowers…not that the art, such as it is, would give it away.
And I thought the first frame was an exterior view of a house with shrubbery/palm tree. But the fireplace works, too, I guess.
He actually pays someone to draw this for him? Geez……..
I do what I can, Actor…
My wife caught me looking at the comic strip and asked why I was looking at cartoon porn. What should I tell her?
We can all be comforted by the fact that he’s not really gone, there’s a little bit of Ruppert left in all of us–in fact, you might say that all of us together made up Ruppert.
Seems to me it’s not apophasis — pretending to deny what is really affirmed — as paraleipsis: pretending not to mention something while mentioning it. These definitions are from Edgar Allen Poe, who also called paraleipsis “one of the most obnoxious and offensive of rhetorical devices”.
http://books.google.com/books?id=OKxwOqUgNvkC&pg=PA95&lpg=PA95&dq=paraleipsis+apophasis&source=web&ots=Fd932v1DpH&sig=bR3M6RxdsOJcMpDmgozurY-SHqY
My wife caught me looking at the comic strip and asked why I was looking at cartoon porn. What should I tell her?
The old standby: It’s research!
…Edgar Allen Poe, who also called paraleipsis “one of the most obnoxious and offensive of rhetorical devices.”
So, is this like murdering your parents and then begging for leniency because you’re an orphan? Menendasis, maybe?
Well, you’ve got to admit that that haircut makes her look even sexier than Bugs Bunny dressed up like a girl.
Do you suppose he becomes aroused when drawing these? Do you wish I hadn’t placed that image in your mind?
How can Boston possibly have fireworks? The city government shits itself in terror when someone hangs up a fricking Lite-Brite.
So, is this like murdering your parents and then begging for leniency because you’re an orphan?
In future, I expect to be credited for this line, and no more need be said.