They Don’t Live On The Same Planet As The Rest Of Us
From the always reasonable Mark Noonan:
Over at Blackfive, in the form of a tribute to the late Captain Travis Patriquin. They have a YouTube video of Cpt. Patriquin’s powerpoint presentation of what strategy we needed to win – and, as it turns out, the strategy we used to win.
Oh, I see. We’ve already won in Iraq. Well, that’s good news, then. What’s on the television tonight?
Wait…What? Did Mark Noonan just seriously say that we’ve already won in Iraq? Is there any context, in any language from any corner of the planet, with the most charitable reading imaginable, where that makes even the slightest sense at all?
Are Mark and Peggy related?
Noonan is delusional, even by his own standards, since there is no victory in Iraq unless the White House remains in Republican hands, and control of Congress is restored to God’s Own Party.
Iraq — not so much a war as the world’s most expensive campaign commercial.
Or a proxy American civil war, and one where the South wins this time, dammit.
Oliver North said it too! It’s the latest wingnut talking-point.
Well, that is golly good news! I look forward to the ticker tape parades and homecomings as our boys and girls come home over the next few weeks. U-S-A, U-S-A!
Let’s run with this. Seeing as we’ve won, no sense having a bunch of soldiers Over There–let’s open up the embassy and staff it with faithful Republicans!
Oh, Noonan’s been saying, “We’ve won in Iraq” for the better part of the year. I always thought that was funny–not “we’re going to win in Iraq,” but “we’ve already won.” And then he gets his ass handed to him in the comments, eventually lets the thread die, then comes back with a new thread talking about how we’ve won in Iraq.
I remember reading an interview with the Strangers With Candy gang in which they said that Jerri Blank was meant to be a complete cipher and that part of the humor would stem from the fact that she never learns anything, or that if she does learn something, she almost immediately ignores and forgets it. I think that exact same description could apply to Mark Noonan.
I look forward to the ticker tape parades and homecomings as our boys and girls come home over the next few weeks. U-S-A, U-S-A!
And I look forward to having captured on film a passionate kiss with my sailor-uniformed boyfriend at said homecoming! Bet Noonan would love that!
Someone got a new Build UR Own Reality Kit (TM) for Christmas.
Funny how we keep winning in Iraq but the soldiers never come back. I guess they have more schools to paint. Meanwhile, still no word on our victory in Afghaniwhatevastan.
The fact is, liberals have twisted his words, again. If you would only get your facts right. But liberals have no facts, only lies and bias. We tell truth and are called playground names and this is called reasoned debate in the MSM. The MSM is biased; it does not reflect the values of us Heartlanders and real Americans.
That does sum it up nicely.
Nice, just in time for New Years Eve, too.
Been saving a bottle of B& B for my victory bash, unless it’s too French.
dBa, you should be drinking Victory Gin!
Wait, you didn’t know? Didn’t you see the banner that said, “Mission: Accomplished”? This is old news.
Gary seems to be under the impression that Sadly, No is the MSM.
Sadly, No.
I live in the heartland, they haven’t stocked the Victory Gin, yet. They’re takin bush at his word, that this war will last far beyond his Presidency – while reserving the right to give him credit for the big win.
And Gary. Please stop speaking for the Heartland.
They know what they think and it has nothing to do with you.
“Did Mark Noonan just seriously say that we’ve already won in Iraq? Is there any context, in any language from any corner of the planet, with the most charitable reading imaginable, where that makes even the slightest sense at all?”
Only a liberal fascist would even think to ask such a question. Thus, global warming is a fraud.
Yes; the corner of the planet where conservatives, who are forever 16-year-old boys, think it’s “interesting” and “thought-provoking” to be “contrarian”; that is, to say the stupidest shit possible and be admired by their cohort for their “bravery.”
I woke up this morning feeling an urge to drink copious amounts of alcohol. Now I have a reason! Huzzzah! A new age beckons. Ponies all around!
Jonah is evil/stupid. Noonan is just stupid. I’ll bet his IQ hovers around the temperature of a nice hot heartland summer day.
By the way, I don’t even need a pie filter for Gary anymore. Everything he posts my brain interprets as Blah Blah Blah lieberals blah blah blah heartland blah blah . . . It’s quite nice. He’s so easy to ignore.
If we won, can we send the troops home now? Or is that another artifical timetable?
Is there any context, in any language from any corner of the planet, with the most charitable reading imaginable, where that makes even the slightest sense at all?
No.
Reality is entirely subject to the needs of the moment with these people. In about 2 seconds he’s going to be blaming “the left” for losing Iraq.
Yes, we do and no, it doesn’t.
Well said, old bean!
Gary said… We tell truth and are called playground names …
What kind of playgrounds are you hanging around? Hmmmm. Are you by chance one of those creepy guys who hangs out at the playground in a long raincoat, teaching little boys bad words, giving them candy, and buying their underpants?
Great, we won, let’s go home then.
This Gary is convincing. There was nothing funny at all in his comment, not even an amusing malapropism. I believe he is real. Do you hear me, Gary? I belie-e-e-e-e-e-vah!
Ah hah!
You’ve just won the war, boys. Tell them what they win, Rod.
Why you’re going to stay there forever! Ain’t that great?
Going by the humorous spelling errors, I suspect Gary is really the author Peter DeVries, writing tongue-in-cheek. Look out Mrs. Wallop!
Iraq is back to the levels of violence it was experiencing some time in 2006, roughly 600 civilian deaths (doesn’t include Iraqi police or military) every month. Since that’s the case, doesn’t it mean that we “won” back in 2006? If not, how come it’s victory today even though we’re back at roughly the same point where we were 3 years into the war?
Of course, the successful ethnic cleansing of Baghdad is an accomplishment of which we should be proud.
Wait… You mean Gary is serious? I just thought he was being deadpan ironic. I read it that way, at least. Who could seriously mention “the Heartland” in every thing they say other than, like… Toby Keith or Ford trucks commercials?
Favored contractors got wads of cash = Won.
Noonan has been leafing through his Choose Your Own Adventure: Iraq Edition again. Page 83 – you win! He has the page dog-eared, in case he can’t remember how he got there. But cut him some slack – the news of our victory! has to come from somewhere.
Not to piss in the punch bowl here but this ultra-librul has been saying the same thing for a couple years. We did win the war. In a matter of days. The war was over long ago.
Alas, we lost the occupation.
The left *should* have been saying this all along – that it’s not a matter of whether we can win in Iraq. We should have changed the perception long ago to avoid getting into exactly that sort of “you hate America” bullshit.
Sorry, I can’t help myself sometimes. Maybe I can make up for it with this:
Pakistan now says Bhutto’s cause of death was hitting her head on the sunroof, or something. I immediately figured they had consulted Arlen “One Bullet” Specter for help. Then I find out Specter WAS IN Pakistan at the time! With…wait for it….quiver with anticipation….Patrick KENNEDY!
The magic sunroof theory?
Well, yes there is. If the goal is american military presence on Iraqi soil (permanent bases and stuff) then you could call it a success. And that creative destruction those Godforsaken Neo-con shitheads have been talking about.., well it’s been very destructive so far.
Nooner completely lost me when he posted this piece of tripe
That’s right, folks, WWII was a cakewalk, all a bunch of media hype. It was all won by a couple of gung-ho Joes who didn’t need a whit of support from home, just rolled up their sleeves and put the beatdown on the Germans and Japanese. All before dinner. Just like Iraq. Jesus.
It gets worse in the comments.
Absofuckinglutely amazing, this schlub. Of course, any and every refutation, no matter how well sourced, is merely brushed off as “wrong” without actually giving any supporting figures for what he pulls out of his ass. Also, everybody enjoying that “wartime economy” he mentions couldn’t possibly be actually, y’know, helping to bring down the enemy, by, maybe, building the tanks/planes/bombs/etc that did so, because that’s sort of what a “wartime economy” is.
Like so many of his ilk, virtually every single thing that comes out of this worthless waste of amino acids’ pie hole is utterly and completely wrong.
Where are all the genuine trolls? Gary/Saul is just pathetic.
I can’t wait for Dennis Perrins book to come out. I will be useful whenever I start trolling various dKos diaries. I only have to read another Obama loving diary wonk talking about the need to project force….
Justme, don’t you know that if you haven’t maxed out your credit card then you love the terrorists? In fact, if you don’t have a credit card, you ARE a terrorist. Those are facts, from Bush’s very own Dept. of Truthy Stuff.
Pakistan now says Bhutto’s cause of death was hitting her head on the sunroof, or something.
Got that people? If someone shoots at you, don’t move and you won’t get hurt.
I’d like to see what the fuck that sun lever was made from. Five inches of sharpened steel, perhaps? These guys make the Bush Admin look honest.
It’s what some of us have been suggesting all along: declare victory and leave. Welcome aboard, Mark!
Arky….i think it was made of a big ole lead bullet.
if you’ll listen to the Interior Minister closely, he says that the lever on the left hit the right side of her head. strange, cuz all the video and photos show her facing forward just before the explosion.
about 12 million served in the armed forces, about 10% of the population…but only 1/12th of the people mobilised to fight actually engaged in battle.
What a weasel. Weasels…all of them.
These guys make the Bush Admin look honest.
Let’s not get carried away, now. After all, we have a Vice President who shot somebody in the face, and the poor sap calls together a press conference to apologize TO Cheney!
The conservative media machine is brilliant.
For several years they have convinced their people that the Baathists blowing up our soldiers were ‘al-Qaeda’.
Then we surrendered to the Baathists and ceded control of substantial portions of Iraq to them.
Then the number of American soldiers dying went down substantially.
Now they are claiming a victory over ‘al-Qaeda.’
Brilliant.
How many of these “Noonan” things are out there anyway?
Like so many of his ilk, virtually every single thing that comes out of this worthless waste of amino acids’ pie hole is utterly and completely wrong.
Yes, but the humor comes from the fact that Noonan considers himself fabulously well informed and smarter than those damn professors and historians and scientists and experts, leading him to smugly declare that everybody else “has it wrong.” He’d wander into a meeting of mathematicians and declare that 2 + 2 = 5, then tell all the mathematicians that they “have it wrong” for pointing out how stupid he is.
Honestly, I cannot fucking wait for a report on what weapons-grade stupidity Noonan’s going to provide at CPAC.
We’ve won in Iraq? Huzzah! Can we bring the troops home then and stop spending billions of dollars a week over there?
I mean, we’ve won and everything. Time to pack it up and come on home, right?
In 1966 Vermont Sen. Aiken said we should declare victory in Vietnam and bring the troops home. Alas, it didn’t happen that way. On January 21, 2008 whichever Democrat is in the White House should unilaterally declare victory, and immediately bring the troops home. It’s not as if it’s going badly or anything, you understand, it’s just that we’ve already won. Right?
Emails to Noonan should include the question: “So, the troops will be home by Valentine’s Day?”
Ah yes. Nothing like a blatant lie about the violent death of a leader to calm people who already loathe their government. Keep those helicopters gased up, boys.
I really am amazed at the new Noonan bullshit. Wartime industry, unimportant. I’m sure all those new carriers meant nothing to the Pacific campaign and that Lend-Lease was nothing more than send chocolates and stuffed animals to those pansy-ass Brits and Commies. And of course MacArthur, Patton, and Eisenhower never asked for more troops and send back equipment saying, “Only weenies need tanks (planes, machine-guns, food, etc.). We’ll beat the Germans and Japanese in bare-knuckled combat.”
It is true that the number of combat to non-combat troops on the Allied side was about 1-to-10. The figures for the Axis were almost totally reversed. And yet, somehow, it was the Allies who won. Lesser minds than Noonan (like historian Richard Overy) seem to think there is a connection between those two figures….Hmmm
LFC, thanks for the info. I’ll be sure to go turn myself in shortly after lunch.
Now Mark iz business smert guy:
Mark sez the librulfascists have tricked us into giving them subprime loans, oh noes!
N yes, he tried to imply this all has gone according to plan at the end, there.
Only a fascist would suggest that in a well-run military every soldier should have support in the form of intelligence, communications, logistics, food, transport, medical care etc, etc. ‘Sides, you don’t see the guys and gals who make sure Joe gets Jihadi-blasting bullets in the movies so they must not be important.
You go to war with the army you have!
Army of One!
USA! USA!
We have won in Iraq, and we continue to win. If we don’t have the cowardly, America-hating liberals undermine our heroic policies by David Vespasian Augustus Claudius Antonio Banderas Petraeus, we will continue to win in Iraq for as long as Americans have the fortitude to keep us there. Why, we may even be capable of continuing to win in Iraq for another 10, or even 20, or, God knows, 50 years! Makes one proud!
So all we need to win in Iraq is … get the Iraqis to invade Russia, like Hitler did in 1940, and this adds a whole new front that would distract al-Qaida and decimate the terrorists. After all , the Russians did a whole lot more damage to the Germans than the Americans did. And apparently, Americans can’t win a war without an ally willing to take the brunt of the damage. This is why conservatives hate the French so much for not taking part in the great Iraq adventure. We would have won by now, consarnit, if only some other country had stepped up to the plate to take Russianesque casualties.
this is…totally off-topic, but does anyone happen to know what happened to The Editors? poorman.net hasn’t loaded in, like, forever.
Gary said… We tell truth and are called playground names …
What kind of playgrounds are you hanging around? Hmmmm. Are you by chance one of those creepy guys who hangs out at the playground in a long raincoat, teaching little boys bad words, giving them candy, and buying their underpants?
Why, yes! I believe he is:
http://thumbsnap.com/v/DD4cql02.jpg
But, as for Iraq, while we all knew it could prove very difficult, our purpose was not to avoid difficulty, but to court it at every turn…for 60 years we’ve sought the path of least resistence in the middle east, and it resulted in 3,000 Americans dead in one day.
Shorter Mark: Iraq is a complete fucking disaster. I don’t deny this. Indeed, it is central to my point.
O/T: Anyone who would like to read David Oshinsky’s upcoming New York Times review of the Pantload Opus can find it here:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/30/books/review/Oshinsky-t.html?em&ex=1198990800&en=c990895e22ddeaa8&ei=5087
Wake me up when we’ve already won in Afghanistan, you know where the people who attacked us still are, when they’re not vacationing in Pakistan.
Gary Ruppert said,
December 28, 2007 at 20:02
The fact is, liberals have twisted his words, again. If you would only get your facts right. But liberals have no facts, only lies and bias. We tell truth and are called playground names
Lying booger breath…
OMG! From Oshinsky’s review:
“To his mind, it is liberalism, not conservatism, that embraces what he claims is the fascist ideal of perfecting society through a powerful state run by omniscient leaders. . . . .
. . . . . . Yet the title of his book aside, what distinguishes Goldberg from the Sean Hannitys and Michael Savages is a *** witty intelligence that deals in ideas as well as insults*** — no mean feat in the nasty world of the culture wars.
As my brother put it once: BARF! GET IT AWAAAAY!
Early polling of our glorious victory in Iraq is so inspiring that we are, at this time, calling a victory for Custer at the battle of the Little Big Horn.
Why all this talk about the Iraq War?
We still have to win the Punic Wars! Carthage must be destroyed!
Or are you all some elephant-loving empire haters?
You nailed it, PeeJ. In the words of Charlie Wilson we managed to do “…good things and they changed the world. But we fucked up the endgame.”
We still have to win the Punic Wars! Carthage must be destroyed!
In the early 80’s, at Fenway, when the Sox were playing The Other Sox, I saw a banner in the bleachers that read “Chicago Delenda Est”.
I can’t see that happening at Shea or Yankee Stadium, for some reason….
On January 21, 2008 whichever Democrat is in the White House
So there’s a coup planned in the next three weeks? Cool.
David Vespasian Augustus Claudius Antonio Banderas Petraeus
— and his warts.
The fact is, the NYT review is biased, which only re-confirms the Times as the pre-eminemt bias purveyor and mouthpiece of liberal nutballs.
Speaking of not living on the same planet as the rest of us, check out this post at Talking Points Memo. They have video of one of Rudy’s campaign officials talking about how Rudy is the best man because, well here are his own words…
“He’s got I believe the knowledge and the judgement to attack one of the most difficult problems in current history and that is the rise of the Muslims, and make no mistake about it, this hasn’t happened for a thousand years. These people are very dedicated and they’re also very very smart in their own way. We need to keep the feet to the fire and keep pressing these people until we defeat or chase them back to their caves or in other words get rid of them.”
The Muslims? All Muslims? And get rid of them? He advocates getting rid of all the Muslims? Be sure to read the whole thing.
Southern Beale: unfortunately we can’t leave till the last drop of our oil is pumped from beneath their sand. 30 years tops.
Not that this massive war crime had anything to do with oil though.
Is South Carolina considered the Heartland now? Who knew?
The fact is, the NYT review is biased, which only re-confirms the Times as the pre-eminemt bias purveyor and mouthpiece of liberal nutballs.
Nonononono, it’s nutBARS, as per the late, unlamented AnnieAnal.
At Haus LdedHösen: “Moooooom! Is this a good review of my book?”
Clint I haz a feeling annie is still with us…just using other names.
Pakistan now says Bhutto’s cause of death was hitting her head on the sunroof, or something. I immediately figured they had consulted Arlen “One Bullet” Specter for help. Then I find out Specter WAS IN Pakistan at the time! With…wait for it….quiver with anticipation….Patrick KENNEDY!
Yah, well, a sniper might eventually be traced back to the ISI, but if it was the *sunroof* that killed her, then all we can do is blame the lousy automotive industry’s design flaws, knowhutamean? Having Arlen “I Roll Over for All Repubs” Spector and Patrick “Absolutely the Dumbest Member of the Family” Kennedy on hand for the kill just proves that the ISI is now getting their Secret Spycraft Tips from old episodes of the X-Files, which still gives them a considerable technological lead over the SooperJeenyuses our own Oval Office Occupants has on call.
Also, to return to the original topic, Noonan’s trope on how “we” already “won” in Iraq is almost certainly intended as a prequel to the Repub’s planned 2009 “We had Iraq in the palm of our hand, but then the Demon-crats took the election away from us, so it’s NOT OUR FAULT!!!!11!!”. Mark Noonan is to the Republican Party as a fruitfly is to the human genome — a very simple organism showing the common DNA heritage writ small. So it looks like even the hardcore Rethugs are planning for the withdrawal of American forces, which in their world means finding somebody else to take the blame for their crimes.
“Been saving a bottle of B& B for my victory bash”
I like my Benedictine in a tall glass over ice, with a splash of Pluto Water and a sprig of mint.
“the purpose of a business is to provide the best product or service it can, while to modern coporate executives it is to provide the highest profit in any given business quarter, next quarter be damned.”
Gee, Mr. Noonan, you sound like that’s a bad thing. Don’t ya believe in Capitalism? Making sure a business provides the best product or service might involve some sort of, I dunno, regulation. Such talk is dangerous for a true disciple of Reagan. You DO love Reagan, don’t ya Mr. Noonan?
i can agree that we’ve won, if that means we can pull our troops out
All you people asking “Since we won can we pull the troops out now?”
Silly people.
VICTORY means keeping Troops in Iraq forever.
Removing troops means DEFEAT.
That will be the calculus of it for people like Noonan until the day they die.
Exactly, owlbear1.
We’ll remove our troops the very same day that very last drop of oil is pumped out of there.
He’s got I believe the knowledge and the judgment to attack one of the most difficult problems in current history and that is the rise of the Muslims, and make no mistake about it, this hasn’t happened for a thousand years.
Oh good, Crusade talk again. That’ll go over well. When do we get to burn down Istanbul (was Constantinople)?
this is…totally off-topic, but does anyone happen to know what happened to The Editors?
I dunno- been wondering that myself. Hope the eds is OK
OK, so it isn’t just me then? That is my main argument from robotguy over at the bikini video (where my bikini clad butt is getting kicked by Pamela’s BTW). We WON the war in 2003, that’s why it’s not on TV anymore. So bad you can hardly respond sort of stuff:
“The reason that Iraq is hardly ever on the news is that America won. The press doesn’t want you to see that; they want every war to be Vietnam.” –Robotguy
And now Bush is vetoing another pay raise. And people wonder why I’m so cynical (you guys ever get that?….LOL).
On the up-side, I figured out how to bold something. Now I want to learn quoting people. Arky–I feel you on that one. Yeah, interesting news take back there, eh?
Gary Ruppert said,
December 29, 2007 at 0:33
The fact is, the NYT review is biased
Wow. You mean book reviews shouldn’t reflect an opinion?
So your idea of a book review should be “There are 456 pages, encompassing 256,398 words and 35,000 paragraphs. There are 34,967 commas, 22,712 periods, five colons and one semi-colon. Also three ellipses. I believe you’ll find those numbers are accurate.”
There’s a ringing endorsement any author would love to have on his blurb…
Oh no, I just typed so much and accidentally lost it…ugh….here goes again.
Regarding the Iraq War and the question posed to me when I started questioning things more seriously, “Who profits?”. Here’s just one example, (Retired) General “Rifle” Mike DeLong, the short Google results version:
First, his bio. Note that he has written a book (icing on the cake, baby) and was one of the principle planners of the Iraq War. What? You noticed The Shaw Group and that he joined them in 2003? What happened with Shaw after this? Oh yeah, they got a lucrative deal in , let’s see, Baghdad.
This is just the first example I decided to look up, and this is just what I found on Google. Imagine the rest. Not even mentioning my more personal gripe about the fact that the waterfront around St. Pete (Florida’s) Pass-a-Grille Beach area has all been privatized by land development, one of the multi-million $$$ homes being owned by (guess who?) DeLong! Not for sale like one of his other multi-million $$$ homes near CENTCOM in S. Tampa.
Oh, damn me for questioning things.
Well, there was that famous Spin magazine review of Jewel’s book of poetry.
Back on topic …
The Congressional Authorization for Use of Military Force Against Iraq Resolution of 2002 authorized the President to do two things:
(1) defend the national security of the United States against the continuing threat posed by Iraq; and
(2) enforce all relevant United Nations Security Council resolutions regarding Iraq.
Regardless of the conditions in 2002, the state of Iraq is clearly no longer a threat to the United States. Certainly no one believes there is any further need for the U. S. to enforce United Nations Security Council resolutions. These two things have been resolved; the war is over.
On March 19, 2003, President Bush announced the U. S. invasion of Iraq with these words:
My fellow citizens, at this hour, American and coalition forces are in the early stages of military operations to disarm Iraq, to free its people and to defend the world from grave danger.
Despite numerous subsequent attempts by the administration to recast the invasion as having some other mission, these three goals were the purpose of the invasion: “to disarm Iraq, to free its people and to defend the world from grave danger”. All of these goals have been either accomplished or shown to have been unnecessary. The war is over.
The war is clearly over, it’s the occupation that’s still being fucked up.
El Cid,
Damn, I was hoping I’d be the first…
This is easy. They are saying Iraq is won now, so when the situation collapses (like it is destined to do), the loss can be “pinned” on the President, who won’t be Bush, who will in all likelihood be a Democrat. Then they will have a meme they can repeat for decades even stronger than the “they got spit on” BS for Vietnam: The Glorious Republican Party led the USA to victory until the traitorous Democratic party intentionally let us lose.
http://www.iwowleveling.com cheap WOW Power Leveling, WOW Warcraft
Gold, World Of Warcraft Power