9/11 blew the bottom right out of the barrel. There is no bottom any more.

I didn’t think they could sink any lower than attacking the families of 12-year-old car accident victims

And that is why we on the left will lose. We continue to believe that there exist minimum thresholds of human decency applicable to both sides.

Until we accept that our opponents lack anything remotely resembling souls, we can’t do anything more than hold them at bay temporarily.

I don’t know in what direction the fight needs to go, but even the brutal mockery exhibited here and at Jon Swift don’t seem to be accomplishing enough. The Daily show, Colbert, Tom Tomorrow, Doonesbury… the comedy is alleviating the worst of the symptoms, but it’s not doing anything to remove the diseased tissue that continues to infect the body politic.

Y’all are codeine, not the broad-spectrum antibiotics we need.

I apologize for the downer comment, but this story really filled me with complete despair. Mea Culpa.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled S,N! Snark.

I don’t know in what direction the fight needs to go, but even the brutal mockery exhibited here and at Jon Swift don’t seem to be accomplishing enough.

About all I can think of is compulsory community service with some guarantee that it brings them into frequent and sustained contact with honest-to-God poor, disabled, or otherwise disadvantaged people who are genuinely helped by it. If there’s any compassion in the wingnuts at all, that will help to bring it out. If there isn’t, they won’t end up as any worse assholes than they were to begin with … I think.

I base my belief on seeing the results of some dozens of Mormon missions. The travel abroad and seeing that there are places different from Provo, Utah does in fact shock some small fraction of the missionaries out of their provincial conceits, and that’s after having participated in a process designed not to open their minds.

But if protecting America from terrorists means subjecting a woman to something akin to a second rape, then Shackleford, like Curt at Flopping Aces and Ace of Spades, is prepared, however reluctantly, to do his sad duty.

They take all the euphemism out of the term ‘circle jerk’

Somewhere a 12 year old has been in a car accident, and raped by a hospital attendant. And when that 12 year old surfaces, the wingnutosphere will be there demanding the VIN of the car and the fingerprints of the hospital attendant, as well as typographical information about the hospital chart.

The depravity of the right has no bottom. They long ago made a pact with the devil and now willingly embrace all forms of evil and degradation.

Salaam, gentlemen!

Y’know, if they had shown this lack of restraint in 1998, we might have had a Gore presidency and paradise on earth…

The commenters at Ace’s place really have to be read to be believed.

This is a good fun and all. But you know what? Curt at Flopping Aces is a police officer (he’s an LA County Sheriff’s Deputy). The dumbass actually used the LASD Century Station’s address on the domain record. Everyone should peruse this guy’s blog to see what a super special authoritarian idiot he is.

Fortunately most deputies just work traffic and patrol, but could you imagine this guy actually investigating a rape allegation? Or testifying in a courtroom?

The fact is, even I’m having trouble defending this.

You all suck.

Y’all are missing the point.

Both Shackleford and Curt have inside information that all the alleged rapists were former nice guys who had just been pushed beyond the limit by people like the alleged rape victim.

People with vaginas. Who didn’t share them with the former nice guys.

I need to be punching people right now.

Oh my fucking god, I actually clicked over there and read those comments. I . . . I think I may have had some sort of brain incident. I can’t believe these people are for real. Can they really believe what they’re saying?

Any time I read something like that, one thought starts thumping away in my head – what would it be like to live with that much anger and rage and resentment and just plain hate in your mind all the time? It hurts to even contemplate this. I can’t believe that it can be healthy to walk around feeling like that all the time. It must be awful for them. I’ve been angry a lot about the horrible state of affairs in this country, but in between bouts of anger and disgust, I live my life. I cook, eat, study, converse (and argue) with my loved ones . . . some of these people, though, seem to live entirely in a state of low-grade fury.

One person did say that the cure was letting it all see the light of day by going to trial. The only sane person in the entire thread . . .

Candy, you’re braver than I. I can’t face clicking on it.

It deprives me of the ability to comment further on this thread, but I haven’t the strength to subject myself to that.

The really hilarious thing is, they don’t even know why they’re defending Haliburton, they just know they have to because Mr. Cheney said so. They think as they’re told.

Candy: now take that walking anger and rage and resentment and put a uniform on it and give it a gun. Then tell that person to go patrol a poor, gang-infested minority neighborhood.

No need to guess what happens next.

Candy, I’ve got a couple of relatives who are exactly like that, and it’s not pretty. One lives in a world of southern baptist/wingnut rage that makes all except her religious/wingnut cohort avoid her like the plague; it got worse once Bush was in office. I saw her for the first time in years recently and it isn’t wearing well, like it hasn’t quite dawned on her that normal society wants nothing to do with her, and she is just this close to that realization. Too bad the religious programming is so comprehensive that she’ll just see it all as her “faith” being tempted by the eeeeeeviiiiill SP’s (Rush/O’Lielly/etc told her so!).

Huh? Shocked, Shocked, are we?

How is it we can honestly claim any surprise at all?

C’mon. These assholes have joyfully cheered the murder of a million humans, argued in support of turning the United States into a police state, cheer when their subhuman decider vetoes funds for american children, all the while demanding more money for more murder and torture and brutality all over the world.

I have no surprise left. There is nothing, no depravity, no horror, no crime against humanity they could gleefully request, support or commit, that would shock me at this point.

I think it was bradrocket that made a joke about them dismembering children on the white house lawn in the name of freedom. We simply don’t have anyplace left to go.

And sadly, if they are ever stopped, or even slowed, it won’t be out of outrage or horror. It will be a simple political or economic calculation. Their base instincts have become rooted in the shriveled souls of the american experience. A place many of us will live out our lives, spattered by the blood and horror of what we have wrought…

mikey

What the fuck is going on this weekend?

Did the Wingers suddenly get tired of stamping on teh gehys, Mooslims and Mex’cuns and decide it had been a while since they dogged women out? Jesus Christ, bet you a dollar they’re hoping some of the attackers were brown so they can get a two-for-one Women/Brown people hatefest going.

Clearly, the barrel has a good deal more bottom to it.

And the bottom of the barrel is situated over a black hole.

Shit like this serves as a reminder that some people fully deserve a punch in the face.

“I have no surprise left. There is nothing, no depravity, no horror, no crime against humanity they could gleefully request, support or commit, that would shock me at this point.”

Yeah, pretty much. I really wonder what the hell is WRONG with these people. I mean, if you wrote this kind of thing for money or something I could at least understand. But these guys seem to just want some sort of sadistic thrill. I guess were just lucky most are to chickenshit to ever go any further.

Give up on them, folks. They’re a lost cause. They’ll forever remain the sociopathic monsters they are.

We can only hope the great majority population that doesn’t pay much attention to politics and doesn’t much care, eventually joins in with the rest of us in politically marginalizing and neutralizing the disgusting characters.

I don’t know why I waste time wondering how they got that way. I guess it’s enough to realize that they are that way, and then to think of a way to get the politicians who are happy to exploit them out of power.

I didn’t get exposed to this stuff when I was growing up. My immediate family was totally wingnut free, and religion free. I suppose that’s what makes me wonder why they are the way they are.

Those commenters seem to imagine that a woman who gets breast implants deserves to be raped. And yeah, Halliburton can do no wrong. Holy shit.

I suppose that’s what makes me wonder why they are the way they are.

It’s a pervasive, and constant fear of death. All of their other pathologies stem from that root. Even the sadism.

While actual money is the appeal for the Republican core beneficiaries, race and gender are the only currency Goopers have to bribe their more bourgeois white male adherents. Hence the War on Brown People (foreign & domestic), and the Hatred of Wimmen, as manifested here. (Politically speaking, while each candidate is buffeted by right-wing bigotry now, a Hillary/Obama ticket would create a cyclonic shitstorm of winger hatred.) Phrases like this one by Ace are practically automatic writing for them: women often lie about the exact circumstances of a rape in a civil lawsuit. No surprise at all.

Now, if instead of Halliburton the company were, say, Ben & Jerry’s, their knees would all jerk in several directions at once, and someone would probably get hurt.

It’s all about tribalism. Halliburton is part of the Tribe they support, and if you attack any member of the tribe on any point whatsoever, the attack must be parried.

Can anyone confirm for me that Jon Swift’s site isn’t a spoof ? I mean it’s so over the top.

And here we see why misogyny matters a lot more than just as an answer to why the Lesser Perfesser’s readership tends to be single.
What I wonder is what Ace and the like would do if it came out there’s lots of gay mercenaries in Iraq, having government funded gay disco orgies.
Probably make a lot of noise trying to get embedded to “research” this “rampant depravity”.

I have to spend the next four hours in George Bush International Airport because there was no other fucking way to connect from Belize to the west coast. It’s enough to make me want to vomit. I’m going out of my goddamn skull. What a shitstain of an airport in a shitstain of a state. Bush, my ass. Fucking treasonous asshole and worm of a son ruined my goddamn country. Now I have to fucking move because of people like this.

Yes, I said it, you fucking Texans. Your state is SHIT.

The topics on TalkLeft this morning were:

1) The White House wanting to take control of the appointment of military lawyers

2) The Social Security Administration not releasing their complete list of sub-par nursing homes, unless you happen to be a lobbyist.
3) The NSA wanting telecom’s help with data mining in “drug trafficing”

An eyeful of scary,evil stuff for a Sunday morning. I come over to SN for much needed snarkage and am greeted with even more tales of the scary, evil, and stupid. It’s everywhere I tellz ya!

On the bright side, the sun is shining, the Rockies are covered in snow and I had a lovely brunch of homemade blueberry pancakes and bacon.

Jon Swift is a parody site.

Just how much longer are we going to stand for these lawless war profiteers operate with impunity without a trace of accountability?

ROOTING FOR TOTAL ECONOMIC COLLAPSE

Actual comment at ace’s site

Shouldn’t we at least wait for an investigation before hammering the woman, accusing her of being a liar?

It doesn’t sound like it.

I was raped. My eyes experience unwanted penetration of your words. Please fail at life less, or kill yourself, kthx?

Posted by: TheEJS at December 10, 2007 06:58 PM

Reading something not supportive of your tribe’s rush to judgment is rape.

Swift is pure satire. Think Stephen Colbert with a blog.

I have to say the interschmucks are being rather restrained. So far.

I had the pleasure of being in law school during the Mike Tyson rape trial. The only amusing thing about the squeals of “Free Lispy McHammerfist!” was watching some of my classmates try to score brownie points with our professors by denouncing Ms. Washington with pathetic “legal” arguments that boiled down to: a) Once about 30 years ago a woman later retracted her accusation of rape after the alleged rapist spent time in jail. b) What was Ms. Washington doing in his room, anyways, huh?

That wasn’t the fun part.

Not only were most of the professors dirty hippiez so they weren’t too crazy about their corn-fed RedState students to begin with, but they knew how the fucking law works. So the fun began when the profs began handing out new assholes and you’d watch some wreck of a former human being gather up the tattered remains of his ego and limp away.

I don’t know what it is, but a certain portion of the population regardless of gender, color and to a certain extent political leanings, goes into ape-shit, lynch the victim mode when they hear the R word. And that’s fucked up.

I think it’s just misogyny rearing it’s ugly head for the holidays. To be snark-free for a moment, there’s a lot of loneliness out there, particularly this time of year.

“I was raped. My eyes experience unwanted penetration of your words. Please fail at life less, or kill yourself, kthx?”

Now that’s what I call human garbage.
I’d like to give this motherfucker’s eyes some unwanted penetration with something all right.

9-11 blew the bottom out of the barrel…because it was an inside job.

The US ceased to exist on 9-11. We are now a corporate fascist police state.

If you think you still are free and have rights, you’re delusional.

When you consider The EJS probably wants English declared the One & Only Official True Speaklish of the Yewnahted Staytes, and gets an extra knot in his tighty whities when he has to Dial 1 for English, the sad gets heavy enough to crush a Ford Bronco.

What does that have to do with the topic of this thread?

SamFromUtah

…compulsory community service with some guarantee that it brings them into frequent and sustained contact with honest-to-God poor, disabled, or otherwise disadvantaged people…

Sam. Sam. Noooooooooooooes!!1! DO NOT WANT

For the love of FSM keep them away from us. We have enough problems.

PS If any of these perverted wingers come near me, I will let Ganesh Bengal Cat vomit on them. In fact, I will encourage him to do so. And he packs a lot of puke.

Every now and then it needs to be said.

There is nothing flat out more stupid nor dense than the 9/11 conspiracy crowd. What, reality’s not awful enough for you? You need to come up with silly bullshit stories to make it worse? Fucking idiot.

But I would like to address two of your points, because they are clearly and demonstrably wrong, and perhaps you might begin to see reality if you can see that your narrative is fatally flawed.

We are now a corporate fascist police state.

Clearly you do not know what a police state is. It takes a MINIMUM of two generations, and typically three or four, to build a true police state. The primary hallmark of a police state is to build an atmosphere of fear and suspicion, such that everyone informs on everyone. It is true we are living in a surveillance state, and building a security state, neither of which is good, nor democratic, but as long as you can write what you just wrote? Not a police state.

Which leads us to this:

If you think you still are free and have rights, you’re delusional.

Of COURSE we still have rights. They’ve really only just begun to eliminate them. I point you to this board, and others like it. Right to openly dissent? Try to find that in China, or NKorea, or Iran, or Pakistan. I have the right to buy a firearm. Try to find that right in a dictatorship. Not gonna happen, dickwad. I can pick up and move to miami today. Right of free movement. You think people living under tyranny in places like burma have that right?

Shit dood. Try to figure out how to do some good. Right now you’re just helping the wingnuts by spreading the terror. It’s all the fear, just like yours, that is ENABLING the fascists to abrogate the constitution. Suck it up a little, darlin, and do something about it.

mikey

what Candy said.

Republicans. Bottom of the barrel. A few monkeys short of a barrel. Evolution.

There’s got to be a joke in there somewhere but I’m too lazy to find it at the moment.

Rob J –

Maybe that joke needs to involve 100 monkeys at 100 typewriters….whatever’s being produced, it ain’t Shakespeare.

INTERMISSION

The bird list for gbear’s back yard feeders today include:

Black Capped Chickadees
Northern Cardinals
lots of Mourning Doves
Downy and Hairy Woodpeckers
one Red Bellied Woodpecker
lots of Dark Eyed Juncos
Blue Jay (loves peanuts in the shell)
too many Starlings
WAY too many goddamned House Sparrows

If the Cooper’s Hawk shows up, my back yard will contain exactly one Cooper’s Hawk.

I’m sorry but I’ve got no illuminating insights to offer regarding the subjects of the last few posts. All I can say is what a horrid waste of brain cells, flesh, and time. Hardly a new insight.

Gentlewoman: Sorry, I don’t know what came over me.

Candy: what would it be like to live with that much anger and rage and resentment and just plain hate in your mind all the time?

I’ve wondered that myself. I think it must be like having a hornet fly in your ear and crawl up to some space between your brain and your skull and get stuck in there buzzing and stinging forever.

Oops, forgot the White Breasted Nuthatch. How could I have forgotten my favorite?

mikey rawksors!!11!!

If I knew how talk good, I would have said what said.

well said.

Clearly, the barrel has a good deal more bottom to it.
My God, it’s full of arseholes!

Sounds pretty much like my bird list- well, my bird list before the feeder on my balcony was ripped to shreds by the focking squirrels. I can’t fill the damned thing with seeds because the furry little bastards ripped a gaping hole in the side. i need to get a squirrel-proof feeder. Then I’ll get some corn for the squirrels. I think they’re awfully cute and I don’t mind them eating chez Candy, but they can’t have the bird food!

gbear, I have a red-bellied woodpecker couple who come to my feeder quite a bit. So beautiful. And I have a cardinal couple. Birds make me happy (unlike winged nuts), although it is torture for the cat. She lies in her basket by the balcony doors, watching them feed and making little whimpery sounds. Poor kitty.

APPLAUSE FOR MIKEY

All I got is a pair of crows and way too many flying rats, gbear. I’m going to have to fold.

Candy,

Option 1: Get some of the hottest chili cooking oil you can find, put about a quart of food and a tablespoon of the oil in the bag, and shake it up until all the food is coated. Birds can’t taste hot but squirrels sure can.

Option 2: Feed your birds safflower seed. The Cardinals and Red-bellied woodpeckers like it, but most squirrels turn up their noses at it.

If you’re going to feed squirrels, do it a LONG way from your feeding area. They don’t appreciate your thoughtfulness and will keep wrecking your feeders. All you get when you feed squirrels is more squirrels.

If the Cooper’s Hawk shows up, my back yard will contain exactly one Cooper’s Hawk.

Heh. When I lived in a place where a bird feeder could feed more birds than squirrels I’d see red tailed and shouldered sitting in the trees watching the other birds exactly the way you’d peruse a menu with a lot of selections.

Sometimes I’d find a big poof of feathers from when someone didn’t move fast enough when the alarm went up.

Very cool when you consider two decades ago you’d have to go way the hell out in the country to see any raptors and you might get lucky and spot one hawk. At my old place there was a nesting tree a few blocks away. The crows were not amused.

There’s also the squirrel catapult.

Arky, we actually have Bald Eagles wintering in the city of St. Paul now. I haven’t seen any yet but as long as the Mississippi stays open they hang out in the flood plains either side of downtown. I always feel sad when I come home to a poof of feathers in the back yard. Sun has just set here and I’ve got at least 8 Cardinals in the yard. They’re not quite happy about being a winter flock yet. The males are arguing.

I don’t know anything about birds, I’m afraid, but I know we’ve got lots of magpies here, some crows, a few gulls, and some geese migrating overhead (honk, honk).

Got a bad infestation of wingnuts ’round these parts, though. House on the corner has a Thompson sign and there are lots of Paul signs around town. Definitely not a winning hand, unless I can get Hawkeye to trade me some flying rats for a few wingnuts . . . .

There’s also the squirrel catapult.

OH MY GAWD!!!!!infinity!!!!!!

I think it must be like having a hornet fly in your ear and crawl up to some space between your brain and your skull and get stuck in there buzzing and stinging forever.

SamFromUtah, I imagine that is exactly what it is like. I only know it hurts my brain to think about it.

Oh, my gawd, I don’t think I could catapult squirrels, but that sure was funny! LOL

I’ll try the cooking oil thing, gbear. Thanks!

“Y’all are codeine a couple of big-ass 100 mcg/hr Fentanyl patches with a 5 mg IV Dilaudid chaser, not the broad-spectrum antibiotics amputation saw we need.”

Fixed.

Sun has just set here and I’ve got at least 8 Cardinals in the yard. They’re not quite happy about being a winter flock yet. The males are arguing.
Birdwatching in the Vatican is very similar.

I really wonder what the hell is WRONG with these people

These assholes are authoritarians, which is, I my estimation, a type of sociopathic personality. It places no value on the individual and certainly has no use for emotions like sympathy and empathy.

Usually it lurks as “unremarkable” (as in little impact) until certain factors bring it into action, such as the formation of the “herd” as you can see in this case. Then they hit the stampede button and the trampling of innocents begins.

Here’s a classic case where they even blame the victim, just like you hear from criminal sociopaths whenever they’re caught.

I always feel sad when I come home to a poof of feathers in the back yard.

Sorry if I sound a bit blood thirsty, but I’m one of those huge geeks who watches the hunting portion of nature shows on the edge of his seat. “Oh noes, if the cheetah/owl/hawk doesn’t catch the antelope/mouse/bird, he’ll get too weak and die!” If the predator in question has young to feed I can barely stand the suspense.

Really, I am that pathetic.

Seeing crows rob nests bugs me because all the birds will try to drive it off and it rarely works. And don’t get me started on the non-parenting skills of the god damned lazy ass starlings.

I’ve participated in squirrel wars myself, via the bird feeder at my parents’ house in West Virginia.

Shorter war: the squirrels were numerous, and wanted it more.

The squirrel-pult made me laugh.

Arky, I like watching the Cooper. Sometimes he shows up while I’m at the computer so I get to watch him try to flush the little birds out of the shrubs. I wish he limited himself to eating house sparrows, but I don’t try to chase him off when he’s hunting. I guess sad wasn’t a good word.

Thank you for tolerating my outburst. I’m almost out of George Bush InterCONTINENTAL (because for Republican toothless yokels, other countries are unheard of) Airport and my rage was misplaced at Texans. Still, rename your fucking airport, you’re embarrassing your idiot selves.

As far as I’m concerned, the airport across the Potomac from D.C. is still National Airport.

Yep. You guys are right.

There’s birds, and the peacefulness of nature that is anything but peace.

And cats.

And slow cooked food, on a cold winter day, with steamy windows.

There’s friends, voices, laughter, the drone of the football game in the background.

There’s a glass of wine, wrapping presents, planning a week of parties, lunches, dinners and events.

There’s this.

Thanks, you guys.

I reckon we’ll make it through this year after all…

mikey

InsaneInTheCheneyBrain, Minnesota’s main airport terminal is named after a well known Nazi sympathiser (no, not Hubert Humphrey)

As far as I’m concerned, the airport across the Potomac from D.C. is still National Airport.

A-fucking-men. If you want to see some normally nice people get hostile, use the name foisted on it by The Apostles of St. Ron in front of native Washingtonians. They will correct you. Continued use of the wrong name will earn you the Look of Scorn reserved for tourists and other low-life critters.

InsaneInTheCheneyBrain, Minnesota’s main airport terminal is named after a well known Nazi sympathiser (no, not Hubert Humphrey)

Wow, Grampy Bush has an airport terminal named after him?

I slay me!

If you don’t want to deal with chili oil (which can be nasty stuff if you get it on pretty much anything), buy one of those 1-lob jars of bargain red pepper flakes and mix it in with your seeds. Extremely discouraging to squirrels, and actually provides some extra vitamins for the birds.

I will let Ganesh Bengal Cat vomit on them. In fact, I will encourage him to do so.
Do not want bulemic cat porn.

Jesus H. Christ and little fishes. I made the mistake of clicking over to Ace’s site and reading his commenters. The biggest pieces of shit I’ve ever had the displeasure of reading on the internets. Fucking douchebags.

buy one of those 1-lob jars of bargain red pepper flakes

Lob is a term that is often used when I do the cooking. Nice to see that it’s come into fashion as an official unit. I’ll give it a try julia.

I bet Ganesh Bengal Cat’s official unit is the lob.

In the kitch, you only need three measures.

A little.

Some.

Some more.

And you’re good to go…

mikey

But what about the shitload, mikey? I use that a lot in my cooking, as in, “you need a shitload of garlic to get the right zip in those green beans,” or “the original recipe called for a shitload of cheese, but I’m trying to avoid cardiac arrest before I get to open my Xmas presents.”

The shitload is nothing more than some exponential (or perhaps logarithmic – let’s ask Qetesh) value of “some more”…

mikey

Do not want bulemic cat porn.

I bet Ganesh Bengal Cat’s official unit is the lob.

I have a condition, dammit. At least that’s what I tell the handmaid.

And for the record, I would yak up HUGE STEAMING LOBS on this Shackleford fuckwit and the Aceholes.

Well, what’s left of them after that nice Mr. Swift sorta kilt them ded (in a literary fashion) there.

I wouldn’t bite them though, because I don’t eat carrion.

Must go. The Birdie Channel is on at the birdfeeder. And then perhaps I shall vomit on the sitting room carpet. Again.

Thank you for posting that song, mikey. It was so lovely to hear it.

And there’s also this

Just got back from some Christmas shopping at the BEST museum store for Christmas shopping in LA, and also at the Giant Robot store on Sawtelle. Ate me as much as I could of a big bowl of ramen, and brought home maybe a gallon leftover I couldnt finish.

Got home to some email from work regarding a subordinate who was given some specific instructions on Saturday to follow up on, and of course this person fucked it up and got everyone all confused. The cherry on top? All of this person’s emails, cc’d to everyone including the Big Boss, repeatedly refer to the Big Boss misspelling his name.

So – my understanding spouse mixed me a lovely cocktail, and I clicked on mikey’s chrissie hynde link.

Yay! I feel better.

That’s crackin’ me up, g.

I’m gonna play it again whilst I go invent tonight’s marinade…

mikey

STH–no trade, as we too have a over-abundence of wingnuts. You are welcome to help yourself to all the flying rats you want. Those sons of bitches change their flight patterns this time year and fly right at you.

I wish the perrigren falcon nests they tried get going in downtown Denver would have taken hold. Flying rats v. falcon. Good stuff, that.

gbear–the Land O’ Lakes certainly does have an impressive array of species–bears, a puma or two, moose? I like eagle watching on the river when I visit my sibling out there in the winter.

A catapult that could toss the nutosphere into the sun is at the top of my wish list.

The northern MN term for ‘shitload’ is ‘enough’. You want ta make sure that you got enough of sumthin. Don’t want ta get caught short. Not a good deal….

MileHi, MN is starting to lose our Moose due to climate change. They’re heading up into Canada. Not that I’ve ever seen one in St. Paul.

Oh, probably too late at this point, but you can get a ton of your xmas shopping done at thinkgeek.com.

Lotsa fun little baubles and dingii for less than a 20…

mikey

MileHi, are your siblings near Lake Pepin? Amazing eagle watching there. 100’s to be seen on a good day at the south end of the lake.

mikey said,
December 17, 2007 at 3:42

Oh, probably too late at this point, but you can get a ton of your xmas shopping done at thinkgeek.com.

Funny, I’m just about to maybe starting thinking about shopping. Don’t wanna rush things, ya know.

If you’re willing to live within the shipping buffer, thunder, you can completely avoid shopping in the physical world. Which is fraught with agony and parking crises.

And violence and heartache.

And anger and impatience and incontinence and constipation.

Just not a good thing, even in your local town…

mikey

Any of you LA residents want to know what the BEST museum store for Christmas shopping is – it’s this one

Did I get some incredible stocking stuffers??

On the other hand, if you have neither friends nor family, you have no shopping to speak of! There’s an upside to my holidays, after all.

Plus, of course, you can do so much worse than giving books.

A partial list.

To my nephew, who is trying to find answers: Letter to a Christian Nation by Sam Harris.

To my sister, who just saw the Krakauer/Penn sundance channel piece on “Into the Wild”: Under the banner of Heaven by Krakauer.

To my other sister, the pagan: Dawkins “The God Delusion”

To my Brother in Law: The Book of Vice by Peter Sagal

And my sister’s birthday is newyearseve, so for her bday she gets Hitchens God is Not Great.

Hey, who says I’m not making a difference?

mikey

Jillian, sweetheart.

If you had to buy presents for all the people who love you, you’d have to get a loan from the world bank.

Go in peace, child. And know you have both family and friends…

mikey

I second that one big time, mikey.

You have a lot more friends than you realize, Jillian. No presents required, though.

“Hey, who says I’m not making a difference?”

I, for one wouldn’t ever say that. You’ve been spot on all day long!

Jillian–Mikey is indeed wise in his words.

gbear–Oh golly no, they live in Lilydale, doen’t cha’ know.

Would it be too disgustingly FireDogLake of me to suggest a recipe thread? We have a lot of great cooks here, seems like, and I’d love to get some of their favorite recipes. And we wouldn’t have to be all nice and lovey dovey to each other, like they are at FDL. More like “eat this, bitchez!”

If you ask me, everything tastes better with snark.

You can’t forget This one

Well, we’re doing history books for my mom – Mark Kurlansky’s “The Big Oyster”, “Salt” and “Cod.”

Son’s artist girlfriend – I discovered today at the Giant Robot store that there are these great graphic pattern books that include CDS with jpegs in them!! Wow! So cool!

Delicate woven bracelets from Mali for my co-workers at the office Christmas part – at $1.75 each I can afford them!

Some cool carved wooden Oaxacan animals sold at a local restaurant for my nieces in Chicago.

I plan to regift my sisters in law with some wonderful Indian scarves I bought that I never wore.

Colorful telephone-wire woven baskets from South Africa for my mother in law.

STH – Group News Blog is a snarky place that has threads about food all the time.

MileHi – Heck, I’m right across the river from your siblings. When I used to trap squirrels I’d release them in the Lilydale park, and everyone from Lilydale would release their squirrels in Crosby park. I’m just a block from the old Schmidt Beer brewery.

You have all of us, Jillian.

About all I can think of is compulsory community service with some guarantee that it brings them into frequent and sustained contact with honest-to-God poor, disabled, or otherwise disadvantaged people who are genuinely helped by it. If there’s any compassion in the wingnuts at all, that will help to bring it out. If there isn’t, they won’t end up as any worse assholes than they were to begin with … I think. I base my belief on seeing the results of some dozens of Mormon missions. The travel abroad and seeing that there are places different from Provo, Utah does in fact shock some small fraction of the missionaries out of their provincial conceits, and that’s after having participated in a process designed not to open their minds.

Thank you, Sam, for cheering me up again. I will attest that this kind of “shock training” can also work on non-Mormons. My least favorite brother, the Horse’s Ass, was assigned to a VA nursing home during his Coast Guard training. Mostly he was working with severely disabled WWII vets, now geriatric, who’d spent the preceding 30 years in one or another medical ward with nothing but other limbless/sightless/’shell shocked’ cripples for company, guys who’d outlived their families or who had no families before they’d been disabled. It actually inspired him to use Uncle Sam’s college funding to become a registered nurse. And while in his personal life he is still exactly the kind of angry, bitter, narrow-minded arsehole that subscribes to Floppy Aces and Little Green Snotwads, from the commendations & promotions he’s gotten, he’s actually a very good and caring RN…

(And it’s not like “we” aren’t making ourselves a fine new supply of permanently disabled veterans who will need compassionate care for the next 60 or 80 years, *sigh*.)

Gentlewoman, I fully appreciate that you don’t want these dillweeds anywhere near you, but maybe it’s not an issue to those who don’t understand the words coming out of their dillweed mouths? Kids in Iraqi orphanages, for instance, or the pitiful Agent Orange no-longer-babies in Vietnam, or even animal shelters right here in the U.S. One of my dear friends worked with a program teaching convicts to train and/or groom dogs, using shelter dogs. She said it was amazing how guys just this side of Hannibal Lector were not only gentle and caring with the dogs, but sometimese managed to “re-model” their own behavior by figuring out, for instance, that other humans might also prefer calm voices & positive reinforcement over the yelling, threats, and hitting which had gotten them into the correctional system in the first place.

I haven’t seen the new condo yet, gbear. Any non-squirrel related things to do there? Nice dive bars where I can escape to should the need arise?

Have they done anything to the old brewery? I always though it would make some pretty cool condos.

Hey, Jillian, I’m there too. But I have the cats (2 of ’em), and they make up for a distinct lack of human companionship.

Plus I’ve got birdies in my back garden too: not as exciting as you northerners, by and large, but still fun. There’s a bunch of sparrows, including a lot of young ‘uns, one with a game leg, so there’s thin mother birds and fat baby birds and all hella cute. There’s the pigeons, of course, and a piping shrike turned up today.

There’s always a few wattle birds hovering about – they come and perch on the chair right in front of me sometimes, and give me a very indignant stare. Looks like the equivalent of the bovver boy with hands in pockets saying “Whatchew lookin’ at, eh?”

But my favourites are the rainbow lorikeets. They’re about pigeon-sized, although longer and thinner, and they’re so raucous and silly. The sound reminds me a bit of a Hong Kong market: thousands of conversations going on at full pitch, arguing, gossiping, and chastising each other. Although most Hong Kong marketers don’t hang upside down like the lorikeets, bless their little feathery hearts.

And what’s odd is that, if you have a look at the pictures, you’d wonder why those brilliantly coloured little buggers don’t stand out like dogs’ balls in the grey-green Australian foliage. But they blend right in, somehow, and hang about in packs shrieking to each other happily while they suck nectar out of the grevilleas and suchlike.

Then there’s also rats in the back fence, and they sometimes creep out to feed. They’re quite cute, being clean and healthy and all, and they don’t trouble anyone else. But I’m expecting the arrival of brown snakes any day now, because the drought is driving them into town and the rodents would make a tasty snack.

Thank you, Sam, for cheering me up again.

On the house and with a smile.

I may end up working for the VA within the next year; not sure if the lead will pan out. Not very directly with patients, but I’d be happy to do my bit since we have and will, as you pointed out, be getting plenty of soldiers back here who need a lot of help.

MileHi – There’s a not-to-bad restaurant/bar close to you on Hwy 13 appropriately named Moose Country. Down in Mendota is a place called Axel’s that my friends like. It’s a quick drive across the river to any of the places on Grand Avenue. If you want the best burgers in town there’s Shamrocks on W7th right across from the brewery. Lots of new restaurants popping up around there. The brewery was purchased this summer and is going to be redeveloped as a retail and restaurant street w/ a hotel. There will be new housing. The first step in the rehab will be to turn the bottling building into artist housing w/ work and display space. That starts next year. I’ve got a warehouse building across the street from me that is eventually going to be torn down. I may wind up with a very broad view of the river from my house. I’m pretty excited about it.

Gentlewoman, I fully appreciate that you don’t want these dillweeds anywhere near you, but maybe it’s not an issue to those who don’t understand the words coming out of their dillweed mouths?

Marginally more acceptable, I suppose. But I would worry about letting these nimrods get anywhere near any sort of vulnerable population. It’s obvious they lack empathy.

Me? I’d smite ’em with Teh Green Walking Stick of Liberal Justice. Just because I’m poor and disabled doesn’t mean I’m nice or anything.

And if they started babbling any of that Christianist shit (like they do), then I’m afraid there would be LOBS of feline vomit being vomitpulted their way. Ganesh Bengal Cat thinks the skwerls won’t mind if he borrows the skwerlapult.

And at thinkgeek.com you can get a trebuchet!!!!ELEVENTY!! Do you know how many lobs of puke that sucker would propel? Up to 20 feet away??? So. Much. Awsum.

Some days I really love the internets. Well, except for the wingnut rape apologists. I wonder if those pus-sucking warthogs can even imagine saying anything non-heinous. I’m thinking prolly not.

I’m a gay non-drinker so my knowledge of good neighborhood dive bars is pretty limited. I haven’t done any research since 1984.

TODD:
The history of the world, my sweet —
LOVETT:
Oh, Mr. Todd,
Ooh, Mr. Todd,
What does it tell?
TODD:
Is who gets eaten, and who gets to eat!
LOVETT:
And, Mr. Todd,
Too, Mr. Todd,
Who gets to sell!
TODD:
But fortunately, it’s also clear
BOTH:
That [L: But] ev’rybody goes down well with beer!

TODD: What is that?

LOVETT:
It’s priest. Have a little priest.
TODD:
Is it really good?
LOVETT:
Sir, it’s too good, at least!
Then again, they don’t commit sins of the flesh,
So it’s pretty fresh.
TODD:
Awful lot of fat.
LOVETT:
Only where it sat.
TODD:
Haven’t you got poet, or something like that?
LOVETT:
No, y’see, the trouble with poet is
‘Ow do you know it’s deceased?
Try the priest!

But my favourites are the rainbow lorikeets.

Wow! I wants some Raibow Lorikeets too!

Rainbow lorikeets look like they were designed by a small child equipped with a fresh set of very bright crayons, but are not quite so cute when they get vocal, since they sound more like a pterodactyl than something with feathers.
Lorikeets also have a sense of humour. When something amuses them enough they bob their heads up and down, or rock from side to side, in avian body-language laughter.

The neighbours down the road have a couple of pet ones. They seem to let them out on weekends, for alternate days… one gets to fly around the neighbourhood on Saturday, while the other one is kept inside as a hostage; then it’s the other one’s turn on Sunday. One often comes up here and perches in a tree outside the window, reporting back to its mate with a series of shrill squawks… in between sessions of taunting the cats.

I was very interested in the squirrel catapult (well, between convulsions of laughter), until I learned that it wasn’t harmful to the squirrels. My neighborhood is infested with these “rats with a press agent” and have caused considerable damage to my house (they like to run over my roof and through my attic and garage). Maybe a stronger catapult? Unfortunately, the only legal, city-approved squirrel eliminator is a cat, and my allergies won’t allow a cat.

Unfortunately, the only legal, city-approved squirrel eliminator is a cat, and my allergies won’t allow a cat.

There’s also terriers, who wholeheartedly endorse the ‘furry-tailed rat’ meme. And I knew someone who swore that a household ferret deterred squirrel infestations, but people who love ferrets can be a little crazy, much as I hate to edge close to agreeing with anything Rudy Guiliani ever said.

“But I’m expecting the arrival of brown snakes any day now, because the drought is driving them into town and the rodents would make a tasty snack.”

Um, are these some the zillions of poisonous snakes your fair continent is somewhat famous for? And right in your backyard you say. Adds all sorts of new meaning to having a day playing in the garden.

All I want for Christmas is for no one to ever mention their God again.

Jennifer said,

December 16, 2007 at 20:14
People with vaginas.

Vajajays. Please.

We must respect Oprah’s wishes in all things, even presidential candidates.

Sun has just set here and I’ve got at least 8 Cardinals in the yard. They’re not quite happy about being a winter flock yet. The males are arguing.

I guess they’re waiting for Isringhausen to come in from the bullpen…

Thanks for the knowledge, gbear! Maybe some day I’ll be able to travel again and try those places out.

Food is the core of any good trip to the heartland…