Funny how all this respect for life seems to run out when it comes to poor people that cant afford healthcare, or young men sent off to war, or criminals on death row..

That story is not only “crazy-assed shit” it is some of the worst writing I have been subjected to in a while. It just goes to show, there is no way to clearly express an unclear idea.

It is also slightly worrying that the writer would think anyone would know or care about some obscure bit of scripture.

Why do they need to explain the joke (12 days of Christmas) I hate it when batshitcrazyfuckers (republicans) have to explain (using parenthesis) the joke (stream of words resulting in a punch line).

It’s annoying (makes me want to light up another camel wide).

I live my life like this. Today I plan to feed Christians (Captain Crunch) to the lions (me).

Sadly, No is like it would be if those kids who made fun of Elisha were actually the bears.

Not to mention that they upset a significant portion of their Christianist “base” with the Schiavo stunt, which you’d never gather from reading this piece of NRO tripe.

Wait…exactly what was it we were supposed to gather from this piece of NRO tripe?

I’ll be pretty busy myself today, last minute Christmas shopping (leveling my orc and getting him new armour), cleaning up the broken limbs from my ice raveged trees (leveling my orc and getting him new armour) and spending some time with my happy family (leveling my orc and getting him some new armour).

I’d make a comment on the actual topic of Terry Shiavo (the republicans most disgusting moment) as it relates to Purim (never heard of him), but it would be the same type of comment I’ve been making since the mid-80’s (rise of the Moral Majority). I’ve been waiting for this theocracy for a long time (it’s way funnier than I imagined).

I’m sorry to say I read the whole article. Life’s too short! He argues that Jews can learn from “the Christians” and their efforts to “save” poor Mrs. Schiavo. But they were a tiny minority. Eighty-eight percent of the country was appalled by the busybodies’ intrusion into a family affair.

So, Governor Bush was sleeping with Judge Greer? I’m not just being snarky; it’s impossible to understand Esther without understanding that she got where she was because, simply put, she was the best fuck of all.

I’m Yahweh (Rightwingsnarkle) and I approved this (this) message (massage).

Ahh, putting on socks (slaughtering Midianites). Comfy (righteous).

A thought for David Klinghoffer: hamantaschen should be made with poppy seeds, not resin. Might want to sort your recipe out before you write at Purim again.

And when we took out Terri Schiavo’s feeding tube, we thought she only had enough brain function left for one night…but she kept breathing for eight whole nights!

(Yes, I know that’s Hanukkah. I’ve never been entirely sure how Purim worked.)

It is sad to see NRO fall from writing fine material like that to being essentially Christianity bashers. NRO speaks for the corporate conservatives now and don’t give a hang for social and religious conservatives.

Well, it’s our turn for once. We can’t be taken for granted anymore. Attacking Huckabee because he is a Baptist preacher is about the stupidest thing the conservative elites could do right now. It really burns my toast. There’s a lot of burnt toast out there.

So, Governor Bush was sleeping with Judge Greer?

My money’s on Talon News correspondent Jeff Gannon.

(Not shown in the linked pic because he’s like, invisible.)

Mmmmm. (I think it would be yummy.) Christians (Captain Crunch) with aborted fetuses (Crunchberries) would make a good repast (breakfast).

First, the Repugs came for the fags, but I said nothing because I wasn’t a fag.

Then the Repugs came for the coloreds, but I said nothing because I wasn’t a colored.

(Thirty or forty steps later.)

Then the Repugs came for the Baptist preachers, but I said nothing because they are assholes.

Comparing The Schiavo story with another fable? Oh, I want to play this game, too!

Parallels with Star Wars leap out at you. In both, a vigorously determined personality (Darth Vader, Michael Schiavo) seeks to take the life of an innocent or innocents (Princess Leia, Mrs. Schiavo) with the aid of a high government official (Emperor Palpatine, Judge Greer) while the people (the Ewoks, America’s Christians) weep, fast, and don sackcloth. Simultaneously, a protagonist (Luke Skywalker, Governor Bush) closely linked to the head of state contemplates intervening.

No, wait.

Parallels with Charlotte’s Web leap out at you. In both, a vigorously determined personality (Uncle Homer, Michael Schiavo) seeks to take the life of an innocent or innocents (Wilbur the pig, Mrs. Schiavo) with the aid of a high government official (Fern’s parents, Judge Greer) while the people (the farm animals, Fern, America’s Christians) weep, fast, and don sackcloth. Simultaneously, a protagonist (Charlotte the spider, Governor Bush) closely linked to the head of state contemplates intervening.

Anybody?

I like the Charlotte’s Web parallel, g.

I’m working on The Cat in the Hat
.

Seemed more like Watership Down to me, because of all of Persia’s jews / the rabbits screaming.

…but she kept breathing for eight whole nights!

HAH!

Oh, I think there’s more than 40 steps, Hoosier X.
But that punchline was funny.

And when the Repugs came for me, there was no one to speak for me because I had called them assholes and other unpleasant names, and I had made fun of them in many rude and inappropriate ways.

Jeb Bush, how like you are to Biblical Esther, let me count the ways:

Uh …

Edmund Schluessel : Of course you’re not sure how Purim works, dear. You can’t remember. Part of Purim is drinking so much wine that you can no longer tell the good guys from the bad guys. (Um, that’s not supposed to be scary. You are not actually drinking with the bad guys. Because I think they are vanquished. And it’s a holiday about an historical-ish event, not an historical re-enactment. So Klinghoffer should be saying to Michael Schiavo, “Aww, get over here, ya knucklehead, your glass is empty!” Michael would not be there, please god, so it would be more like Klinghoffer saying it as if Michael were. Don’t tell him that, though, because he is drunk.)

Are there any leftover latkes? I need some with extra poppy seeds, kthx.

Oh, PS: “..eight whole nights…” Ha!

Thanks, Bill S. But its best not to encourage me too much.

And g … That’s pretty damn funny. Now let’s see a Scooby Doo parallel.

A vigorously determined personality (an evil real estate developer who dresses up like Sojourner Truth’s ghost, Michael Schiavo) seeks to take the life of an innocent or innocents (Scooby and Shaggy, Mrs. Schiavo) …

and then Queen Esther’s brother, who came back from vacation to sign legislation in his pajamas to help the jews, saw the poll numbers on their intervention and said they should have stayed out of it.

I wonder what part Alan Keyes plays in this metaphor? Concerned pharisee?

I read that as “President Bush.”

Closely linked to the head of state…and good lookin’ in drag.

David Klinghoffer is a Senior Fellow at the Discovery Institute! What are the odds of that?

Which patriarch threw his daughter out of the house because she was a Lesbian and then jumped in a mosh pit?

THAT was Alan Keyes.

Hoosier X
How about Funky Phantom? Just for the Burt Lahr-ness of it all.

‘Scuse me, I gotta go eat some jews (bacon and egg sammiches on english muffins). Anybody else (gentiles, atheists, ewoks) want one while I’m up (priapism)…

mikey

I’m still confused about the recent donning of sackcloth, because it didn’t have parentheses beside it. I didn’t pay that close attention to the Schiavo affair, but I also don’t remember fasting, either.

Other than Terry’s.

Hoosier X, if we knew the answer to that, we’d know which biblical figure who roomed with William Kristol in college set up a charity to rip off the proud nativists of the Minuteman Civil Defense Corps

your support for infanticide and euthanaysia

Be fair. Pat Robertson and George W. Bush support them too, as long as they take place in China and Africa.

We’ve already established what we, respectively, are. Now we’re just haggling about price.

God will leave me alone. I am godless.

Jeepers. Write some new material.

Someone calling himself a Booger is here to talk to us about God.

g-
I’m actually trying to do this with Last Exit To Brooklyn, but I can’t figure out whether it would make more sense to go with Tralala or The Queen is Dead.

Of course, Strike is really the best parallel for modern Republicans in general…

I love stuff like that 20:16 Bastion Booger post. Could it possibly be sincere? Is there any way that is real?

Life is full of mysteries every day!

I feel so sorry for fanatic religious people because there is no mystery for them. They know everything because God tells them everything they need to know and do and think. (Which is why they love the Repug template so much.)

I live in a very conservative area and I come across people who would give Bastion Booger a big thumbs up! But I also know some people have a knack for mimicking that kind of stupidity. (Sorry. That’s not politically correct, is it? I meant to say “child-like blind faith” instead of stupidity. Don’t want to hurt anybody’s little feelings!)

Is Bastion Booger for real?

Is that the real Bastion Booger?

Will we ever know?

Can you see all the parallels to Naked Lunch?

A vigorously determined personality (Doctor Benway, Michael Schiavo) seeks to take the life of an innocent or innocents (junkies and the purple-assed baboon, Mrs. Schiavo) with the aid of a high government official (Ian Holm, Judge Greer) while the people (the Talking Asshole, America’s Christians) weep, fast, and don sackcloth. Simultaneously, a protagonist (Uranian WIlly the Heavy Metal Kid, Governor Bush) closely linked to the head of state contemplates intervening.

All I can say for certain, Hoosier, is he sure does like his pie…

mikey

I love it when people who claim to have ‘faith’ tell us how and who God will judge.

Real Christian.

Speaking of utter crappiness: http://www.daybydaycartoon.com/121507.jpg

I was wondering where I saw Muir’s “subtly glowing genitals” effect before.

Thanks Ben, now I want to stab myself in the eye with a…well, you get the idea.

Am I just a pervert, or does it look like she’s wearing latex? Or maybe no one will ever understand Chris Muir…or both.

I’m thinking both.

If only there were some ersatz rabbi to set us straight on the story of Esther and Terri Schiavo and how we hippie liberals are destroying America with the youth in Asia and homonupabortions and the flavin and blablablayaddayaddayaddazzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZzzzzzz…

I get the feeling Chris Muir just basically draws his own masturbation porn. He should really keep it to himself.

To add to the sense of values gone topsy-turvy, Mrs. Schiavo’s ordeal was climaxing over the festival of Purim.

And political/religious opportunists were climaxing over Mrs. Schiavo’s ordeal.

Though repulsive and trainwreckish, the Fiasco de Schiavo was not one of the strongest “through the looking glass” moments for me during the Bush alternate-reality years to date. Maybe it was just too far over the top.

You can’t tell me that Chris Muir meant to illustrate his “shades of grey” pithy remark with a woman wearing grey underwear. Really.

http://xkcd.com/37

Why were they so interested in Terry Schiavo’s climaxing? Seems kind of purimurient to me.

They don’t care about Huckabee being too religious, they care that he seems to follow the new testament and not the old. You know, forgiveness, caring for the sick and the poor. They fear he will not dedicate his reign to helping the rich.

It’s much easier to say he’s overly religious than say he seems to actually CARE about the poor!

So if I say, “Mitt Romney is an vile-ass clown,” then he becomes a “vile ass-clown.”

Am I doing this right?

OT – Has anyone else noticed that Romney looks like a grown-up Damien?

You know, forgiveness, caring for the sick and the poor.

That’s liberal, hippie Jesus stuff. Not enough smiting for the reichtard taste.

Seems kind of purimurient to me.

Bwaaaahahahaha! Woo.

mikey @ 20:10 reminds me of Kevin Nealon’s Mr. Sumbliminal. Another summertime time-waster for me was SNL reruns on Comedy Central. I finally got to see what my parents were laughing at after I went to bed as a kid.

Wait…exactly what was it we were supposed to gather from this piece of NRO tripe?

I’m not sure, but “liberals are bad” is a safe bet.

Uh, that’s subliminal…

vile ass-clown

Oh! I saw that in a “Summer Activities” special edition of Good Housekeeping. You need anal bleach, cand red hair paint, some
non-toxic acrylics to make your berries into googly eyes, and a red clip-on bulbous nose that doesnt pinch your twig too tightly. Bow tie optional.

I’m not sure how to do the “vile” part, but all the parents seemed to think that I had nailed it when I tried it at Ronnie’s 6th birthday. Nobody likes clowns anymore.

Behold, I will bring evil upon thee, [impose a summary fine] and will take away thy posterity, and will cut off from Ahab him that pisseth against the wall [me].

I’m not sure, but “liberals are bad” is a safe bet.

Always.

This whole thing reminds me of a couple of scenes in Cabaret. Max, the millionaire who takes on Sally Bowles and Brian as, well, basically pets for a while (and bedding both of them), says something like, “We will use the Nazis to get rid of the Communists and then we will control the Nazis.” Later, after the “Tomorrow Belongs to Me” scene in the biergarten, Brian asks Max “Do you still think you can control them?” It never seems to have occured to the $$ wing of the GOP that putting the genie back in the bottle might be a tad difficult.

Ass-clown, as well as ass-hat are two of my favorite invectives.

Ben-

WTF, man?

I loves me some erotica, but for some reason that just turned my stomach.

I keep think about nursing babies and horrible politics.

Not hot.

Electric Six roXX!1

Make a rethugs head explode send a fiver to the Huckabee campaign. Oh and all those rethug mooks who say they wont vote for huckabee:bullshit. Those sick hypocritical bastards would vote for mussilini if he put an R behind his name.

Chris Muir unwittingly proves the opposite of his contention: even “shades of gray” Liberals can’t deny the objective truth that his cartoons are pathetic.

[…] (via.) […]

America’s Christians certainly don’t abhor Jews — affection mixed with puzzlement are the themes of their feelings — but there is certainly a tension between our two faiths. They regard us as critically wrong on a vital point, namely in our attitude toward Jesus, and vice versa.

Oh, and by the way – Jews? You’re all going to hell as a result. But we still love you, ya wacky hebes.

h.x.: yep! that’s how it’s done! my brother and i like to make each other laugh at inappropriate times, and that’s one of the best way we’ve found to do it. one of us will just lean over to the other and say, “i like to move the hyphen.”

If they want to publish insane crap that equates Terri Schiavo’s death with the Biblical suffering of the Jews, then they have zero right to complain about others’ religiosity.

No, no, no, no, no. They have all the right in the world! Best circular firing squad ever! There is nothing I would love more than watching a bunch of Iron Age-mythology-believing fuckknobs fight over which one is more whacko. Do tell, guys. Please, by all means, tell me why those guys over there are full of shit. Show your work! Harp on every detail! And how ’bout those Mormons? Pretty fucking stupid, huh? Maybe someone could enter the arguments as spokespeople for Thor, Odin, Ra, Dionysius, etc., just to make it even more entertaining.

Maybe by the time they’re all done pantsing one another and dragging all their metaphysical absurdities out into the open, some sanity can rush in and fill the vacuum. .

Mr Muir just discovered the”Blend” tool on his graphics program. Just wait till he discovers one can blend colors!

What if we just mock you, is God cool with that?

I don’t even know what His name is.

Yeah, that’s fine. Don’t tell the little booger, but I do it too.

Ssshhhhh….

God, is that really you?

I’m one of ’em, yeah…

Thought so.

One thing I found out during a visit to Australia is that parallels really aren’t that fierce. Sure, parallels leap out at you, relying on the element of surprise, but if you whack them on the nose with a stick they just turn tail and run.
Its the forced analogies that you have to watch out for. Those little buggers are poisonous.

As with John Cole, I began my utter rejection of the GOP w/ the Schiavo derangement. These morons did not know — or care– that Judge Greer was a Southern Baptist Republican, faithfully following FL law. On all substantive matters he was upheld by FL appellate courts.

He was also under death threats and had to live with armed sheriffs for months, 24/7. The current GOP is insane, and l’affaire Schiavo is what pushed through to my brain and made me realize that. It’s been nothing but increasing disgust and even hatred since then.

Hokay, but if parallels aren’t nearly as fierce as some claim, what about those pesky meridians?

mikey

A grown-up Damien? Nah. Mitt Romney’s always reminded me of Guy Smiley.
In more ways than one. Many more.

There is plenty also in the Old Testament about taking care of the poor, but its not like Republican read that either. It’s just one line in Leviticus over and over.

It’s just one line in Leviticus over and over.

I bet I can guess which verse you’re talking about.

“It’s Adam and EVE, not Adam and STEVE.”

That’s in the Bible? Sheesh, I never knew “Steve” was a Hebrew name!

Sarah, that link was marvellous: fun with maths! At last, someone online who can make maths geek jokes. There’s just not enough of us, you know, and every time I’ve tried making a maths joke, everyone around just goes silent and looks pityingly at me.

Oh, for chrisake, stop tiptoeing around… OK, I’ll say it: Terry Schiavo=The Holocaust

qetesh, i’m so glad you liked it. (particularly since i know how difficult it can be to impress a kitty.) i once started making a list of xkcd cartoons i really liked, but then i realized it was a waste of time since i really like almost all of them.

You may safely ignore Booger. Carry on.

It would be Adam and Steven.