I thought the Rubberstampin’ 109th Congress was the stupidest, but the Capitulatin’ 110th is also the stupidest. Maybe even more the stupidest, because now they work 5 days a week instead of 3 because the Democrats hate families.

All but two of the representatives voting “present” or against the Christmas Resolution voted in favor of a resolution recognizing Ramadan, which passed by a 376-0 vote in October.

Not exactly: After Opposing Resolutions On Ramadan And Diwali, Rep. King Introduces Christmas Bill.

A waste of time and money either way.

Our tax dollars hard at work. Next let’s vote to agree that Apple Pie is yummy and that blonds do indeed have more fun.

Next let’s vote to agree … that blonds do indeed have more fun.

I’m curious to see the enforcement scheme they come up with for this.

OT, but can someone help me figure out whether this is a parody blog? I’m confused.

Um, Establishment Clause anyone? Enforcement of this thing would be facially unconstitutional.

Even though we Iowans have a democratic governor, a democratic legislature, no capital punishment, Tom Harkin for one of our senators, the less-nuts-than-average Republican Charles Grassley for our other senator, and three of five of our congress critters are dems, I still feel I must apologize for Steve King. He’s not in my district, and not my fault, but nevertheless, I’m very sorry. I wish we could give western Iowa to Nebraska. Every time I pick up the Register and see King’s picture, I know I’m going to be embarrassed yet again.

Whereas there are approximately 225,000,000 Christians in the United States, making Christianity the religion of over three-fourths of the American population; Whereas there are approximately 2,000,000,000 Christians throughout the world, making Christianity the largest religion in the world and the religion of about one-third of the world population;

I now expect bipartisan support for a bill that would replace Wyoming with a Big Mac visible from space.

Many Founding Fathers were deists, not Christians, and Thomas Jefferson himself called the Revelation the stupidest thing he ever read.

I myself love Christmas. Just keep your intergalactic space daddy, his self-contradicting son and the “holy ghost” out of my solstice festival.

Dammit you guys! Slow down! I can’t keep up! I’ve barely even been able to read the posts this week, let alone the comments. Every time I pop my head in there’s half a dozen new posts.

How’s a guy supposed to get his snark if it flies by at supersonic speeds?

where can we buy War(on Christmas) Bonds?

Jesus H. Christ, as a secular lawyer, trained at an elitist-North Eastern-faggy-commie law school, I want that poster for my office.

This is a pretty good guide to defending us from the War on Christmas.

http://news.bostonherald.com/news/regional/general/view.bg?articleid=1049638

and here it look slike christmas is fighting back:

http://news.bostonherald.com/news/national/south/view.bg?articleid=1049576

“The Islamic faith is one of the great religions of the world.” This is one of the greatest myths of the world.

Guess who is the biggest culprit for perpetuating such a myth?

It wasn’t Al Gore, it wasn’t Billy Graham, and it certainly wasn’t Billy Graham’s not-so-politically correct son, Franklin.

You guessed it, George W. Bush.

He should recognize that you don’t have to lie about how you feel about a religion just to be tolerant of those who practice it. Most people wo live in the United States support Christianity as their faith. That doens’t mean they need to stomp over anybody else’s rights, but you don’t have to kiss butt just to avoid kicking it to the curb.

Oh, BTW, I heard a rumor that a certain Senator was blaring this from his iPhone in the background just prior to the vote. Talk about brainwashing!

Best Buy Inn
Dr BLT copyright 2006, 2007
Right-wing Records
http://www.drblt.net/music/BBInn.mp3

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

pch1013:

Yes.

Hark, the herald hypocrites sing,
We support our Assclown King
Peace War on earth and mercy torture ‘mild’
God and sins reconciled

I like the part of the bill were it sets mandatory gifting procedures and specifies the federal guidelines for the alcohol content of eggnog.

Although it’s still a little unclear whether Rudolph and Frosty have been legislated into existance, I am willing to meet them halfway on the number of candy canes used to decorate my tree.

Why work to end the war, provide universal health care, guarantee jobs and find a solution to global warming when Congress can tackle the important stuff like recognizing Christmas. I like the “traitorous nine” myself.

http://13martyrs.blogspot.com/

oh dear dog.

OT, but can someone help me figure out whether this is a parody blog? I’m confused.

I don’t think so. It looks pretty legit to me.

There have been rumors and false allegations made, but nobody has actually proven anything whatsoever.

SamFromUtah said,

I’m curious to see the enforcement scheme they come up with for this.

The Peroxide Industry is lobbying intensely.

The Peroxide Industry is lobbying intensely.

I dunno, Thunder. If you mean they’re trying to make more people become blondes, won’t the Feds then be responsible for enforcing even more more fun? That could get costly, unless it’s one of those unfunded mandate things.

I imagine ration books full of coupons for free nightclub admittance and concerts, stuff like that.

The Peroxide Industry is lobbying intensely.

I believe that Fox News is also behind it.

I imagine ration books full of coupons for free nightclub admittance and concerts, stuff like that.

OK so if I’m actually, demonstrably blond — where do I get my rations? Government needs to do more to see to my welfare, dammit. Or — wait — does this mean the fucking brunettes are going to get affirmative blondness, which takes food directly from my babies’ mouths? I’m all against that.

RESOLUTION

Recognizing the importance of air and breathing. Whereas nitrogen, a gas of great significance to Americans and many other cultures and nationalities, is inhaled annually by people throughout the United States and the world; Whereas there are approximately 300,000,000 humans in the United States, making breathing an activity of at least three-fourths of the American population; Whereas there are approximately 7,000,000,000 people throughout the world, making breathing the largest activity in the world; Whereas breathers identify themselves as those who believe in that inhaling oxygen and other tasty gasses, and who, out of gratitude for the gift of life, commit themselves to living their lives in accordance of using their noses; Whereas breathing people have contributed greatly to the development of western civilization; Whereas the United States, being founded as a constitutional republic in the traditions of western civilization, finds much in its history that points observers back to its roots in breathing air…. Now, therefore be it Resolved, That the House of Representatives–(1) recognizes air as one of the great compound gases of the world;(2) expresses continued support for breathing in the United States and worldwide;(3) acknowledges the international and historical importance using lungs;…etc.

Ok, that’s it.

Psycheout is my “Blogger of the Year”.

Get over here, big fellah, and lemme pin this shit to your chest.

Oh, but you gotta explain why you do it.

And I get the exclusive…

mikey

Sometimes satire confuses me. Is this good? Or am I just confused?

Well, really and truly, there is much to be confused about. I’m like, Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot, which is also a not-always-bad blog-place to be.

WTF is it now?

I no longer even respond to this bullshit-war-on-xmas-bullshit. Do you hear me?

I have spoken already about it. No one seems to listen though, and, of course, no one ever ASKS ME. MAN, for a totalitarian state, this place SUCKS!

Hey wait…

It’s heartening to know that a School of Law can’t be bothered to read the First Amendment.

Guess what. We don’t need any motherfucking amendments to any motherfucking THING! Do you hear me?

Let’s hold some truths to be self-evident, shall we? Once and for all.

I want a revolution.

You have to give them props for getting off their Whereasses.

If we’re going to mandate that blondes have more fun, but we’re not going to provide the funds for them to do so, wouldn’t that be an unfunned mandate?

wait — does this mean the fucking brunettes are going to get affirmative blondness, which takes food directly from my babies’ mouths?

Absolutely not, unless the peroxide lobbyists get their way.

I think FDL is going to live-blog the hearing about it.

wouldn’t that be an unfunned mandate?

It would be that, possibly even involving undated man-fun.

Um, or something.

Ike Turner has died.

In honor of Ike’s passing, I’m gonna do a gram of cocaine and go beat up my ex-wife.

Maybe I can even threaten her family with murder.

Yeah, that’d be fun…

mikey

heart

Well, I’ve been “irritable” all day. Now, I’m just pissed at the whole durn thing!

Is it PMS? Or could it be MENOPAUSE?

Well, I’ve been “irritable” all day.

I just call that being at work. Speaking of which, only 8 hours until pre-work Here It Comes Again.

sigh.

Irritable Blog Syndrome.

A LOT of poop…

mikey

Pervy ‘drunken stepfather’ pays a loving tribute to Ike’s misogyny. It takes one to appreciate one!

(I wouldn’t have known of the existence of this asshole if it weren’t for Jezebel. Thanks sisters!)

Official Anthem of the War on Christmas.

NOT work safe. And you probably don’t want your 4 or 5 year old listening in, either. But what can I say – war is hell, man.

I have to admit I don’t follow your statement that it ‘greases the skids for sharia law by using cottony-soft language to recognize “the Islamic faith as one of the great religions of the world”’

You will never have to worry about suffering through the slavery that is sharia while a single conservative still lives. Rest easy, my hippie friends! Not only are we going to make sure that sharia never takes root in America, we’re going to make sure that this misogynistic belief system is eradicated from the planet! All you need to do is keep sipping those mochachino lattes and living on the government dole. And keep making sure that Pelosi and Reed continue to pass no laws whatsoever. We’ll do the rest.

Sorry I haven’t been able to converse with you lately. Things are getting dicey in the land of normal people. But don’t fret! We’ll keep you safe. I promise.

Thanks for the laughs, Jennifer. Idle wrote Ho Ho Fucking ho!, too.

this comment cracks me up: love it my ex bloke’s dad has these songs on cd and plays them loud driving through town lol

Oh wait, is this post complaining about the Democrats who voted ‘yes’ for ramadan, but ‘no’ for Christmas? My bad. I apologize, Travis G. I come here expecting idiotic rhetoric, so when someone writes a post that makes sense, it throws me for a loop.

Seriously, if I could delete my previous post, I would. It’s high-time we got together on the left and right to confront this insanity.

At the end of the Republican Debate today, the moderator had the gall to say “Happy Holidays.” She should have said that at the outset so that the candidates would know where her loyalty lies.

Pathetic. It’s “Merry CHRISTmas,” dhimmi. Maybe she’s hoping for a bhurka this year.

The War on Christmas is real, even if you folks refuse to see it.

It’s high-time we got together on the left and right to confront this insanity.

Hear, hear, Kev! We’ll finally tell those violent, illiberal, human rights abusing fundamentalist whackjobs to get over themselves and quit masturbating their overinflated sense of macho victimhood with paranoid fairy stories about how modern art, music, science, entertainment, and political thought are the tools of evil, forged to corrupt the superior wisdom of their ridiculous 5th century dogma.

Oh wait, you meant the other insanity. Never mind…

I’d like to see a resolution passed that recognizes that Saturday is a very important day that follows Friday, and has had a major impact on Western Civilization (such as it is). However, I suspect the bill would not pass unless a rider were attached which affirmed that Saturday night’s alright for fighting.

Really, though, when you think about it this is a fiendishly appropriate faux issue for the nutters: to take a holiday that they themselves claim is all about “peace on earth, good will towards men” and turn it into a bludgeon against those who do not conform with their idea about how that holiday is to be observed and remarked upon. Those who would respond to a friendly “happy holidays” with a snarl truly have the love of Christ and true spirit of the season in their hearts.

and here it look slike christmas is fighting back:

http://news.bostonherald.com/news/national/south/view.bg?articleid=1049576

Punk kid will think twice about getting in the way of my satan float again.

I’d like to see a resolution passed that recognizes that Saturday is a very important day that follows Friday…

And mail, don’t forget mail delivery on Good Friday!

======================
So if the US government determines that it is against the law for the words ‘under God’ to be on our money, then, so be it.

And if that same government decides that the “Ten Commandments” are not to be used in or on a government installation, then, so be it.

I say, ‘so be it,’ because I would like to be a law abiding US citizen.

I say, ‘so be it,’ because I would like to think that smarter people than I are in positions to make good decisions.

I would like to think that those people have the American public’s best interests at heart.

BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I’D LIKE?

Since we can’t pray to God, can’t Trust in God and cannot post His Commandments in Government buildings, I don’t believe the Government and its employees should participate in the Easter and Christmas celebrations which honor the God that our government is eliminating from many facets of American life.

I’d like my mail delivered on Christmas, Good Friday, Thanksgiving & Easter. After all, it’s just another day.

I’d like the US Supreme Court to be in session on Christ mas, Good Friday, Thanksgiving & Easter as well as Sundays. After all, it’s just another day.

I’d like the Senate and the House of Representatives to not have to worry about getting home for the ‘Christmas Break.’ After all it’s just another day.

I’m thinking that a lot of my tax payer dollars could be saved, if all government offices & services would work on Christmas, Good Friday & Easter. It shouldn’t cost any overtime since those would be just like any other day of the week to a government that is trying to be ‘politically correct . ‘

In fact….

I think that our government should work on Sundays (initially set aside for worshiping God…) because, after all, our government says that it should be just another day….

What do you all think????

If this idea gets to enough people, maybe our elected officials will stop giving in to the minority opinions and begin, once again, to represent the ‘majority’ of ALL of the American people.
==================

When do we start carpet-bombing Christmas? Or do we rendite it to Gitmo? Strike it with cruise missiles, maybe? What kinda war we fightin’ here, peoples?

Jeebus, has the fire marshall ruled on whether we can allow that many straw men to occupy the premises? Cuz I’m thinking we’ve exceeded capacity here.

I just love it when a rant gets underway with a completely self-defeating premise. Such as:

Since we can’t pray to God, can’t Trust in God and cannot post His Commandments in Government buildings

Omigod! Teh evil liberal psychic ninjas are gettin’ into people’s haids and preventing them from praying to god or trusting in him! Almost as bad, they’re ransacking the offices of fine upstanding Christians working in government buildings all over the place and smashing up their personal Ten Commandments plaques and bible verse needlework samplers!

But what makes this rant so very special is that it also ENDS with a completely self-defeating premise: that it is the job of the government to represent ONLY the interests of the ‘majority’ of ALL of the American people. And that’s not even getting into the absurdity of capitalizing “ALL” when it is preceded by “‘majority’ of”.

If you’re having me on sir, I tip my hat.

What kinda war we fightin’ here, peoples?

Don’t know about you, but I’m doing my part. Just now a dude was actually singing along to a grocery store muzak version of “Gloria in Excelsis Deo”. Who the fuck actually knows the words to that?

I kicked him right in the nuts.
If he’d had an elf and a reindeer i’d be having mean sex and tasty stew tonite.
Fuck Christmas.

If you’re having me on sir, I tip my hat.

You obviously aren’t getting the same forwarded email as me. Perhaps you come from a more enlightened circle of friends and family, your forwarded email is no doubt filled with news of giant-man-eating catfish in China and things Andy Rooney shockingly said.

“Jesus H. Christ, as a secular lawyer, trained at an elitist-North Eastern-faggy-commie law school, I want that poster for my office.”

Legalize:

Even as we speak, I’m photoshopping it onto cardstock for my firm’s “unofficial X-mas” cards:
“Wishing you all the joys inherent in our unfunded federal mandates during the coming year!”

Blessedly, I receive little in the way of forwarded email. Though now I’m beginning to think I’m missing out. Surely the bulk of it cannot have such high entertainment value.

According to Sharia law you have to shovel out my fucking parking spot and stand there all day and reserve it in case some Gentile tries to steal it before I get back from the packie.

Any forwarded email which has 50 addresses and 3 “Re:”s in the subject line is inherently stupid and should be immediately deleted. I think I’ve opened two in the last 15 years or so. One was a bunch of unfunny jokes and stupid comics that I had no interest in seeing, another was a cookie recipe that I could have found in any cookbook. On a similar topic, my inbox is frequently hit by messages promising that they can help me overcome my low self-esteem by increasing my penis size. Every time I get one, I just ask myself, “How did they know?”

Any forwarded email which has 50 addresses and 3 “Re:”s in the subject line is inherently stupid and should be immediately deleted.

Sure, if you are all busy and shit and want to miss stuff like-
“I’m thinking that a lot of my tax payer dollars could be saved, if all government offices & services would work on Christmas, Good Friday & Easter. It shouldn’t cost any overtime since those would be just like any other day of the week to a government that is trying to be ‘politically correct .”
-and if your penis is acorn tiny.

Many people don’t know this, because it didn’t make the revised Gospels, but the baby Jesus was born on December 25 with a dick as big as a tree. The thing was huge. Massive. Monumental. It was so big, wise men and sheep herders came from miles around to gape and hang glittery frankesensess and mhyrrs on it. That’s why we celebrate Christmas under a pine tree decorated with shiny bits.
So every time you delete a Viagra spam you are just that much closer to Hell, Major Woody.

Blessedly, I receive little in the way of forwarded email. Though now I’m beginning to think I’m missing out.

Allow me to share-
======================
Twas the month before Christmas
When all through our land,
Not a Christian was praying
Nor taking a stand.
Why the Politically Correct Police had taken away,
The reason for Christmas – no one could say.
The children were told by their schools not to sing,
About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.
“It might hurt people’s feelings,” the teachers would say,
“For the 25th of December is just, a holiday.”
Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit
Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!
CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod
Something was changing, something quite odd!
Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa
In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.
As Targets were hanging their trees upside down
At Lowe’s, the word Christmas – was nowhere to be found.
At K-Mart and Staples and Penny’s and Sears
You won’t hear the word Christmas; it won’t touch your ears.
Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty,
Are words that were used to intimidate me.
Now Daschle, now Darden, now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen,
On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton!
At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter
To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.
And we spoke not a word, as they took away faith,
Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace.
The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded
The reason for the season, stopped before it got started.
So as you celebrate “Winter Break” beneath your “Dream Tree”
Sipping your Starbucks, just listen to me.
Choose your words carefully, choose what you say,
Shout “MERRY CHRISTMAS!”, not “Happy Holiday.”

Original author unknown.
==================

Surely the bulk of it cannot have such high entertainment value.

Depends, really, on what is your entertainment value threshold.
Find it hilarious that evangelical christians consider themselves persecuted by the govment?

Completely off topic, apparently Alan Keyes has been running for president since Sept 15th.
He’s doing a wonderful job of it, eh?

Be sure to watch the Alan Keyes Highlight Reel from yesterday’s debate.

The hilarious thing is that Christmas is about the least Christian holiday there is. It’s only overdone in the USA. It’s never mentioned in the Bible (as a celebration) either during Jesus’ lifetime and neither do the apostles ever do anything whatsoever on Christmas.

All the icons from trees to fat man with presents to stockings are all pagan in origin. The date was changed to pacify the pagan Roman empire and half the scriptural quotes used in most Christmas services come from the OLD Testament.

Jesus and his followers in the Bible paid more attention to Purim than Christmas! Where’s the war on Purim? That’s what I want to get started on this evil, lefty blog 😛

Oh yeah, Not safe for work. MFC2U! 😉

This reminds me – it’s about time for me to email my annual “Happy Holidays” card to Bill O’Reilly.

W Thomas Smith Jr said,

(Eye-gougingly horrible attachement purged)

No. Please make it stop!

Look, for any who might agree with the sentiments in the little story you received in your inbox (my sincere condolences, by the way) it’s pretty simple. Not everyone is a Christian, so it’s polite to at least allow us to say “Happy Holidays” or “Seasons Greetings” or “Bite Me” if that’s what we want. Also, put up your silly creches and crosses and stuff on your own dime, unless you want taxpayer dollars to support what I worship too. Would you want to have to look at a 20 ft tall statue of Brigitte Nielsen circa 1985 every year on her birthday?

Oh, and regarding the message you so thoughtfully shared with us (thanks a lot, buddy!), where’s the part at the end that tells you to “forward this to everybody you know!”

Psycheout said,
December 13, 2007 at 7:51
The War on Christmas is real, even if you folks refuse to see it.

Since teh X-Mas season begins Nov 1 and runs sometime into January and has been expanding its territory over the years, X-Mas seems to be holding its own without your fine rhetorical help, PO.

IF there’s a war on X-Mas then it’s going about as well as the War on/of Terror, the War on Drugs, War on Poverty, War on Illiteracy, War on etc.

The War on Sanity is going great.

My personal favorite War on Christmas fact: from the Biblical descriptions of the circumstances surrounding Christ’s birth, he was probably born in August.

Pagan Influence 1, Ignorant Piety 0.

The fact is, God will reek vengence on the liberal secularists for defaming Him and devaluing religion in government and the public square. Here in the Heartland, we support Bush, troops, the war, freedom, low taxes, free markets and freedom. We also support God and think liberals are treasonous scum who should shut up or be shut up. I am so sick of the leftward tilt in all media.

I need a good “War on Christmas” creche, but I can’t decide whether to cast Michael Moore or Hillary Clinton as the Baby Jebus…

Don’t you think it’s defamatory to say that God will reek?

If there really is a F-M (I don’t spell it out, that’s blasphemous) He will answer my War on Christmas letter by ensuring that the name of Curt Schilling is included in today’s Mitchell report. He has already put Clemens in there but Schilling is the proof I asked for. By his Noodly Appendage He can make it so .

W Thomas Smith Jr.
Four distinguished weeks of making one ponder what exactly he is on about, then decide that one does not want to know.

# 4 on that resolution is totally wrong. Most of our founding fathers believed in God, but they were not followers of Jeebus. In fact, Ben Franklin (my favorite of the founders) was into chasing girls and skipping worship services. So this is meaningless and historically inaccurate.

But it does show that there is a powerful minority in this country that wants a theocracy. It all boils down to a desire to have a government that reflects your personal beliefs. Otherwise, these people are for blowing-up federal property a-la Tim McVeigh. But if Washington DC were run by Pentecosts, Methodists, Baptists or Born-Agains, everything would be beautiful.

If any of us are wrong about God, then God will cleraly bring a defamation suit, correct? If not, then he is tacitly admitting what is being said. Right, Gary?

Here in the Heartland, we support Bush, troops, the war, freedom, low taxes, free markets and freedom. We also support God and think liberals are treasonous scum who should shut up or be shut up.

I got news for you, boy. I live in the Bible Belt, go to church, teach Sunday School, have a flag on my truck, and own a rifle. I have a brother in Iraq, and a brother-in-law who’s done two tours of duty, and I couldn’t be prouder of them both for their service.

I also vote Democratic, oppose the war in Iraq on grounds that it was unneccesary, and I think W is the worst president in history (I still pray for him, though). I got a lot of family, friends and neighbors who think the same way.

You sit there and talk all big about how liberals need to “shut up or be shut up”. You think you’re a big enough boy? You want to come on down to Georgia and shut us up? Then you get your kin and come on down if you think you can whup us. I guarantee I’ll stomp a big ol’ liberal mudhole in your ass and walk that sumbitch dry!

The fact is, if you can’t put up, shut the fuck up

That was fun, Redneck Liberal. Do it again.

Hey, Gary, a couple of letters to the editor from the Heart of Teh Heartland.

Read ’em and weep.

Redneck liberal and I were on the same page!

Whew, Redneck Liberal wins this round!

Barkeep! – Cazadores and apple slices for everyone!

Redneck liberal and I were on the same page!

Wait, I thought that after the whole Mark Foley scandal, that sort of thing wasn’t supposed to happen anymore.

Hey, that page was of age!

Much like that Mark Foley joke!

You guys, Gary’s heartland isn’t a geographical place. It’s a frame of mind. Kind of like candyland.

#

Candy said,

December 13, 2007 at 18:00

Hey, Gary, a couple of letters to the editor from the Heart of Teh Heartland.

Read ‘em and weep.

—

I read them, especially this one, it, and I weep withjoy that patriots are still speaking out and get it:

The current “Democrats” used to be called Communists. I still call them that. And they are on the verge of taking their totalitarian religion a bit too far. This country has never seen a real civil war. We will if they get their way.
12/13/2007 9:41:47 AM

This country has never seen a real civil war.

What the fuck you talking about, Gary? Don’t they teach history in your illusory “heartland”?

That dillweed is all on about “totalitarian religion”; just one more case of projection since being religious and totalitarian about it is just what the Talibangelicals want.

This country has never seen a real civil war.

Buh…Da…Whu…GAH! What do you SAY to this kind of…wow, I just can’t even describe it.

Come on Snowwy, a large segment of society is denying US History. There’s nothing you CAN say to it. You can’t battle stupidity.

Some men you just can’t reach…So, you get what we had here last week, which is the way he wants it! Well, he gets it! N’ I don’t like it any more than you men.

What do you SAY to this kind of…wow, I just can’t even describe it.

Maybe it’s less a stupidity thing than a ridiculously macho thing. You know, like, it’s not a real civil war unless the country gets nuked into a sheet of radioactive glass & the entire human race dies, yadda yadda…

# 4 on that resolution is totally wrong. Most of our founding fathers believed in God, but they were not followers of Jeebus. In fact, Ben Franklin (my favorite of the founders) was into chasing girls and skipping worship services. So this is meaningless and historically inaccurate.

Well, to be fair, Dhalgren, a lot of them were Unitarians and Quakers.
I’d almost be willing to support legislation making those the official creeds of the country, if only to watch all the exploding heads.
Not quite – I am fond of the Establishment Clause, but it would be tempting to make a run at it, kind of like Pat Paulsen for President.

Yesterday, the U.S. House passed a resolution recognizing the importance of Christmas and the Christian faith by a vote of 372 to 9.

Tomorrow: HR110-69 Air is vital to our existence.

I can’t wait to see who votes no on that one.

Oh, and regarding the message you so thoughtfully shared with us (thanks a lot, buddy!), where’s the part at the end that tells you to “forward this to everybody you know!”

And the threat of misfortune raining down upon you! No email forward is complete without it, especially not one of the Christian variety.

Don’t you think it’s defamatory to say that God will reek?

Maybe God could get some Right God deodorant.

G*d does not reek, but we find His Holy Pheromones subjectively less attractive than those of other, less closely-related gods. This is to prevent inbreeding. See, I was paying attention in an earlier thread, in case there was a quiz afterwards.

Admittedly G*d’s notions of perfumery and personal hygiene are open to debate, since he states several times that burning the fat and entrails of animals produces a ‘sweet savour’.

We must all get along, admit that we love Christmas and fight to keep it alive. And we must all learn to love the Gary Rupperts and Dr BLTs of this world. When that happens, and only if that happens, will we ever see peace on earth and good will towards men. When that happens, the world will be a truly Merry place to live.

Oh God, it’s the real Gary Ruppert.

I think what he meant was, it wasn’t a Civil War because technically it was between the United States and the Confederate States which was totally a real country whether the Yankees recognised it or not and IT WILL RISE AGAIN DEO VINDICE SPIRIT OF 61 MUVAFUKAZ

pch1013 said,

OT, but can someone help me figure out whether this is a parody blog? I’m confused.

It wasn’t but it quickly turned into one.

Thank god.

BillO has declared victory against the “Taliban-like” War on Christmas.

Our long national nightmare is finally over.

But it does show that there is a powerful minority in this country that wants a theocracy. . ..[I]f Washington DC were run by Pentecosts, Methodists, Baptists or Born-Agains, everything would be beautiful.

They’ll want a theocracy until the day when some assclown in a surplice mandates that everyone will sit in church for eight hours on Sundays in the winter instead of watching sports on Tee-Vee, and insists that their beer money would be better spent as a donation to the church building fund. If DFHs like myself wouldn’t get killed in the process, I’d be tempted to give them their little theocracy!

It seems like the term “theocracy” is being used rather loosely and being thrown around rather casually. If you do a little research, take a look at a country ruled by a real theocracy, and then study our system of government, you will realize that the United States is not even close to falling under that rubric.

Our democratic system of checks and balances ensures that such a theocracy is not a reality, and won’t be anytime in the near future. If you think right-wingers have too much influence, then there are channels to voice your objection and even to wield your own influence. That would not be possible in a true theocratic system of government.

Oh, and regarding the message you so thoughtfully shared with us (thanks a lot, buddy!), where’s the part at the end that tells you to “forward this to everybody you know!”

And the threat of misfortune raining down upon you! No email forward is complete without it, especially not one of the Christian variety.

Why should the Nigerian scammers have all the fun?

Dear Brothers & Sisters in God:

For decades, CREEPING SECULARISM has caused EVANGELICAL CHRISTIANS to become increasingly marginalized from mainstream America. Cherished CHRISTIAN IDEALS that form the foundation of our AMERICAN WAY OF LIFE, such as: The right to bear arms, creation and other Biblically-based education, and a Constitution that reflects CHRISTIAN VALUES, have been PERSECUTED by branches of our very own government!

Even now, TRUE BELIEVERS are locked in a heated battle with secular humanist libruls to insure that the spirit of Christmas is preserved as a SACRED HOLIDAY! But the WAR TO SAVE CHRISTMAS cannot be fought on our limited budget. We have recently been promised a $5 MILLION dollar matching grant from the Christian Preservationists Roundtable (CPR) PROVIDED we raise $500,000 in seed capital.

We are over halfway there, having raised $279,432. Just $100, $50, or even $20 from YOU will help us preserve the SANCTITY of CHRISTMAS. Make sure that your children and grandchildren will always be able to celebrate the BIRTH OF CHRIST with family potlatches beneath Scotch Pine trees!

Send your donations to:

P.O. Box 12214
La Jolla, CA 92039

DONATE TODAY!

Yours in the Spirit of Christ,

Ruthie

(Yeah, Gary, I’m going to hell. I’ve already reserved the coffee cart concession by the Lake of Fire.)

Thank god.

Our long national nightmare is finally over.

He probably heard about this.

Nope.

I’m sure of it.

God Reeks…

mikey

mikey said,
December 14, 2007 at 4:25
Nope.
I’m sure of it.
God Reeks…
mikey

You are going to hell anyway for that crack about Ike, the Father of Rock’n’Roll, might as well seal the deal. Enjoy your afterlife with Jerry and Billy.
Jim and Ernest will be along shortly.

[falwell, graham, bakker and angley]

W.Thomas Smith: Oh, shut the fuck up already.

Annoyed regular said,
December 14, 2007 at 8:55

W.Thomas Smith: Oh, shut the fuck up already..

What would jesus do? Annoint you and your donkey or say, “Blow me anonymous cumstain”? Let’s check the holy Gospels for clues on how to deal with interoob trolls.

It’s weird, either my wingnut relatives stopped emailing that kind of crap or I marked them all as spam, but now I go out of my way to read the same mass-forwarded garbage on S,N! Context is everything (except for the part that’s timing).

Also:

badgods.com/nineinchnoels.html

Not sure if this is about trolling, but “Come with me, and I will make you fishers of men” is from Mark, and Luke, and probably Matthew but I’m too lazy to look that one up.

Not sure if this is about trolling, but “Come with me, and I will make you fishers of men” is from Mark, and Luke, and probably Matthew but I’m too lazy to look that one up.

Fishers of men is some kind of bass fishing thing.
http://www.fomntt.com/
Ever tried to eat loud-mouth bass? Nasty business that. Jesus would not approve.
Please note that bass is not on the traditional christmas menu.