Jesus Rode A Dinosaur — In Space! [Updated]

Apparently, the creationists also have a grievance against astronomy.

How many gaping scientific howlers can you spot in this brief documentary?


Update: If your brain isn’t bleeding yet, here’s what seems to be a different edit of the video, without most of the material above, but with tons more sophistries (including a version of the infamous banana theory):

 

Comments: 220

 
 
 

OUCH. that video makes the baby Jesus cry!

 
 

Wow. I’m amazed that they packed so much stupid in so little time. ‘Scuse me, while I get the mop to clean the floor of what was formerly my brain.

 
 

Oh man, that was painful. Constantly going from pity to anger and back again cannot be good for your mental health.

 
 

Reminds me of that SNL bit with Will Ferrel as Harry Caray

“What’s your favorite planet? Mine’s the sun – always has been”

 
 

First they came for paleontology….

(etc)

 
 

Dunno. Seemed pretty convincing to me. Looks like none of you Scientistismists can even raise an objection.

Not only was the argument clear and convincing, you will note that it was well supported by quotes from a man with an English accent. Upon hearing that both Gregg Easterbrook and I wrote “game over” into our debate notebooks.

 
 

First, and biggest, there are more possibilities than a universe which started from an explosion, and a universe which was created by an outside being. There is also a steady-state universe, which has always existed, and a cyclical universe, which keeps re-creating itself. And probably other possibilities that haven’t been thought of.

The stuff about how the solar system “could not” have been created from a rotating cloud of gas which coalesced into planets and a central star is also pretty unconvincing. So the planets are unique… maybe it was a clumpy cloud. Why is that hard to fathom? So the planets rotate- um, if the cloud was rotating, then why is it surprising that the planets do too? Lot of random asteroid hits would not start the protoplanets rotating, it’s true, but they would not stop them from rotating either.

You can attack the idea that this solar system arranged iself without intelligence, but to me it seems more likely than that this solar system was created this way by plan. Why would a creator make a solar system with such raw grandeur, vast scale, and deadly beauty, but make it so completely inconvenient for humans to get around in or use? Especially if this creator supposedly cares about humans, that is?

If I were a creator that cared about humans and wanted to make the ideal solar system, I’d make it a Dyson Sphere, or something like that. And Earth would have a giant wet bar encircling it, snaking across all continents and landmasses in a fractal pattern, with organic drink mixer plants growing out of it which could create any drink you wanted. And there would be gigantic trees which would house tribes of cute, highly intelligent little squirrels. The squirrels would go out of their trees, and teach the scattered hunter-gatherer humans about morality, basic science, literacy, and also offer sex education and distribute condoms. The squirrels would do all this in exchange for acorns, nuts and petting.

 
 

Just think of how much easier all the domains of scientific research would be if the moment you came to a really hard question, you could just say,

‘Damn, I can’t figger this sh*t out — f***, it must be magic!’

 
 

How many gaping scientific howlers can you spot in this brief documentary?

I spotted all of them.

Next quiz please. I expect to do just as well on that one.

 
 

By the way, the Creationists might need to be a mite uncomfortable with their 2 conflicting stories:

(1) On the one hand, God’s role in the universe appears to be subtle, hidden — you know, he’s not putting flaming letters in the sky saying “All Ur Base R Belong To ME”.

And they get very angry if you ask God to show himself or where is the direct proof.

(2) On the other hand, apparently God’s real stupid, because even though he wanted to remain hidden, he apparently scattered all kinds of ‘evidence’ around of his magic.

So if you take their word for it that (1) God doesn’t want to have his existence proven and we must exert faith, and (2) God left all sorts of ‘evidence’ about of His magic, detectable by every reprobate nimrod…

…then it turns out that God, if He exists and created everything, is really, really, really, really stupid.

Which is good, in a way, because then they get the God they prefer anyway. Who wants a damn egghead ivory tower intellectual God any damn way?

 
 

Send this to Brad at Bad Astronomy blog. He’ll have a field day with it.

Anyone else notice that instead of talking about astronomers, they constantly refer to evolutionists. And they refer to scientists saying that the solar system “evolved”. Maybe they are realizing that if you attack modern biology, you might as well as attack modern astronomy.

Sigh, sigh, sigh.

 
 

If solar systems evolved from gas, why is there still gas?

 
Roland, the Headless Thompson Gunner
 

Creationist Business Plan:

1) Attack modern science

2) ??????

3) Profit

 
 

If the solar system was formed by accretion out of a cloud of dust, then what about PYGMIES + DWARFS?

 
 

Hael,

Because some of the gas evolved into beans and was eaten.

QED

 
 

All the planets SHOULD be made of 98% hydrogen.
All the planets SHOULD be rotating in the same direction.
All the planets SHOULD have moons orbitng in the same direction.
All the planets SHOULD SHOULD SHOULD

Holy Shit, it must suck for these people when the universe REFUSES to fit into a single book!

 
 

Ack, forgot to link. “PYGMIES + DWARFS?”

 
 

One more time: link

 
 

From our friends at the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster:

We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there are over 10 million of us, and growing. We tend to be very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence. What these people don’t understand is that He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.

 
 

didn`t Rambo and Chuck Norris make the universe?

 
 

This actually has the same rhetorical model as ‘Loose Change’ at its most conspiratorial.

Though a better juxtaposition might be the Babel Fish sequence from the HHGTTG TV series.

 
 

Also, where in the Bible does it talk about the contents and composition of the Solar System?

I always love the logic tho, “Scientists don’t have a DEFINITIVE answer so the answer must be GOD!”

 
 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD THIS GENUNELY HURTS MY BRAIN, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?

 
Roland, the Headless Thompson Gunner
 

Am the only one who thinks the “Religous Right” has jumped the shark?

When they attack science, which they don’t undertand, they look silly. When they attack the legitamacy of Islam, they undermine the legitamacy of religion in general. They paint themselves into corners with no-compromise positions on issues like abortion and gay rights. They continue to espouse a political agenda that is counter to the teaching so Jesus… and on and on the list grows.

The rise of the “stewardship” Evangelicals and the “New” Evangelicals, as well as the increase in athiests and non-churchgoers… these aren’t anomalies, they are the future.

 
 

I sure hope they jumped the shark. The problem is, as far as I am concerned they jumped the shark about 25 years ago at least, and the rest of the country just doesn’t agree with me on that.

So, I hope that they really have jumped the shark this time, but I can’t say with any confidence that the majority of US citizens agree. I reserve judgement until I get better data.

 
 

A magical being created all these planets, each different except somehow the same. And that’s why you shouldn’t use birth control.

 
 

…then it turns out that God, if He exists and created everything, is really, really, really, really stupid.

Hey, just because I fall asleep in my easy chair now and then doesn’t mean that these personal insults are justified. Nobody’s perfect. Be good.

 
 

What do you mean nobodies perfect?

 
 

Yeah Buddy! Speak for yourself!

 
 

Oy, not this argument again!

 
 

OH GOD, TEH STUPID! IT BURNS!!!!!!

Seriously, I got about a third through it and hadda stop before my brain exploded . . . . .

 
 

No, there really was a creator. See, first there was infinite water, called “Nun,” and out of this arose the first manifestation of the sun god, Atum, also known as Atum-Re. Atum masturbated and swallowed his own semen, and then his mouth gestated Shu and Tefnut, the male atmosphere and female moisture. After he spat them out, they got it on and created all the subsequent generations of gods that actually form the universe. Are you all say you’re too fucking stupid to see this transcendent truth? Jesus. Er, I mean, Isis.

All of this was written down for us in a great ancient Egyptian hymn, the first poem known to mankind:

Re-Atum, who fathered creation,
Say the priests, did so through masturbation.
Though he came in his fingers,
The result of it lingers.
Perhaps, we should call it “cremation.”

 
 

This is a big, piping hot cup of stupid if there ever was one. Holy sheep shit.

 
 

I like the theory that the big bang was the result of God crossing some wires when he was puttering around with the equipment in his garage. I mean, the same thing must have happened to Steve Jobs and Bill Gates.

 
 

Hael wrote:

If solar systems evolved from gas, why is there still gas?

Because on the eighth day, god said “Let there be beans.”

By the way, the all-wise Pythagorus commands us not to eat beans. There could be soon-to-be-reincarnated souls in them. Do you really want to fart out grandma and risk having her soul dissipate like a greazy burrito?

 
 

I like the way they don’t even bother trying to identify the dignified expert (unless that’s on an earlier part of the film).

I started diligently listing the mistakes, and got as far as “1. Noise in outer space” and “2. Circular orbits of planets,” and then just gave up.

But this is pass/fail, right?

 
 

If God made man in his image, and man is as monumentally stupid as shown in this clip, what are the creationists really saying about God?

 
 

Creationist Business Plan:
1) Attack modern science
2) ??????
3) Profit

There’s really no mystery about #2. It’s “Collect donations from morons.”

 
 

Hey man, Gravity is just a theory.

 
 

Not addressing the actual content of the video–which, I believe, speaks for itself–it’s always seemed to me that in presenting their false dichotomy, creationism is actually dooming itself.

The foundation of the current creationist arguments is the idea that if science doesn’t have a clear, intuitive, consensus opinion on how something works, then it must be God. That was an easy argument to make in 400 C.E., but it’s getting harder every time we figure out something new.

 
 

“If I were a creator that cared about humans and wanted to make the ideal solar system, I’d make it a Dyson Sphere, or something like that. And Earth would have a giant wet bar encircling it, snaking across all continents and landmasses in a fractal pattern, with organic drink mixer plants growing out of it which could create any drink you wanted. And there would be gigantic trees which would house tribes of cute, highly intelligent little squirrels. The squirrels would go out of their trees, and teach the scattered hunter-gatherer humans about morality, basic science, literacy, and also offer sex education and distribute condoms. The squirrels would do all this in exchange for acorns, nuts and petting.”

I’d like to join your mailing list please.

 
 

Shorter Creationists: The solar system is a crazy, messed-up place where nothing makes sense–so obviously it was carefully designed by a godlike being with a master plan.

 
 

I’m not sure I understand where the peanut butter and bananas fit into all this.

 
 

Ya’know, there is one question that I always want to ask these folks: Who created the creator? Where did god come from?……..As I have never been able to get a sufficient answer to any of these questions, I have always found it easier to embrace the notion that natural forces as yet completely understood conspired to form the universe.

Admittedly, the only difference between my viewpoint and the funditopean, is that I don’t have an authoritarian sky buddy to shove down anyone’s throat.
.

 
 

Before the trolls arrive and say since none of you addressed the points in the video it must be true, here are the answers as to how the solar nebula theory of the formation of the solar system created planets of different compositions and differing rotational directions and axes:

# Anomalous rotation directions/axis tilts explained by collisions between planetismals as planets formed

# Compositional variation among planets is related to distance from Sun-

* Hot inner portion of nebula, rock and metallic elements condensed out first, at high T. – Result: inner planets are “terrestrial” in composition.

* Outer portion of nebula is cooler, so gaseous phases such as H, He, methane, ammonia condensed out. Result outer planets are “Jovian” in composition.

http://www.ux1.eiu.edu/~cfjps/1400/solar_origin.html

 
Arky - Cthulhusexual
 

I can’t give an answer because I wasn’t able to hear the whole thing.
Once he hit “Scientist can’t prove God didn’t make the universe,” the rest came through as “Moo, moo, moo, bark! Cluck, cluck, whinny…”

Fine, scientists can’t prove I didn’t make the universe, so let’s talk about back rent, bitches.

 
 

Dude is lying! I’m the one you to whom you owe rent!

 
 

And just whose name is on the rental agreement?

HuH?

 
 

i got to point 0.21. Whenever they say “The ONLY blah blah blah yada yada ect. ect. AND SO ON!” I become intensely irritated, especially when I’m trying to thread a needle to sew my daughter’s turtle neck which she refuses to wear even tho it’s 16 degrees outside, and I can’t even SEE the hole in the needle, sob!

I once tried to equate the story of genesis with the Big Bang = “Let their be Light!’ And the gift/curse of knowledge gained by Eve as difficult childbirth due to our BIG heads. (Did Carl Sagan do that? Don’t want to plagerise). Anyhow, she (the Christian) didn’t buy it. But she is a nice Christian who gives to the poor, helps homeless children and is an all around good friend. How the neo-con-men trick them I can’t understand.

 
Arky - Cthulhusexual
 

Mine under Leasor, the human race under Leasee. Pay up or get out.

 
 

I meant “Let there be Light, not let their be light”

“I did my best and it’s the best I could do!” (Space Boy)

 
 

If I were a creator that cared about humans and wanted to make the ideal solar system, I’d make it a Dyson Sphere, or something like that. And Earth would have a giant wet bar encircling it, snaking across all continents and landmasses in a fractal pattern, with organic drink mixer plants growing out of it which could create any drink you wanted. And there would be gigantic trees which would house tribes of cute, highly intelligent little squirrels. The squirrels would go out of their trees, and teach the scattered hunter-gatherer humans about morality, basic science, literacy, and also offer sex education and distribute condoms. The squirrels would do all this in exchange for acorns, nuts and petting.

And there would be monkey butlers.

 
 

The universe is so large and spread out that human beings will never have a first hand experience with 99.9% of it. and THAT is prove of an intelligent design? If it was all made for us humans, wouldn’t it make sense that he’d put these things someplace where we could actually get to them!?

That’s Neil Armstrong putting his spare house key on the moon. It makes for an intriguing story, but hardly an intelligent choice should he lock himself out.

 
 

If it was all made for us humans, wouldn’t it make sense that he’d put these things someplace where we could actually get to them!?

I should be able to have an antimatter kitty and yet I can’t.

[shakes fist at sky]

 
Phil Moskowitz, Lovable Rogue
 

Why can’t god pick an orbit & stick with it? Too boring?

Why are scientists so stupid all the time? Does hating god make you stupider?

And Penzias & Wilson can just suck it!

 
 

Not just howlers, but lies upon lies.

Obviously these people lie about religion to the sheep in their flock, too. What a bloody disgrace.

It makes me want Huckleberry to get the nomination, so he and his followers can get the decisive drubbing they are asking for.

 
 

she is a nice Christian who gives to the poor, helps homeless children and is an all around good friend. How the neo-con-men trick them I can’t understand.

Sadly, that isn’t what the Bible is all about. Have you ever read that book?

 
 

Why on earth do so many American Christians have so much invested in the idea of creationism? Darwins theories took about 30 years to reach widespread acceptance in the scientific community, and much of the English clergy were not far behind. By 1900, a vast majority of Christians accepted a non-literal interpretation of the book of Genesis.

The “creationist” phenomenon is fairly unknown in the UK, and Darwin is even on the back of the £10 note.

The attempts to demonise Darwin and push this “intelligent design” pseudo-science have all come from mostly very right wing, very dogmatic “evangelical” american sects. I think the whole reasoning behind this is the threat that evolutionary theory (and all science) represents to the concept of biblical inerrancy and literalism.

Look at any Christian sect which insists on a literal interpretation of the Bible. They are very authoritarian, and a bit cult like, controlling members very closely. On the other hand, churches which allow a non-literal interpretation can be quite liberal, and give their members much more leeway in their personal behaviour, preferring broad guidelines to a huge rulebook, and are generally a lot less dogmatic about scripture and its application to the modern world.

A literal and uncritical reading of the Bible shows an account of a 2000-3000 year old society, and holds it up as being the perfect form of human society. A majority of Christians ignore or de-emphasize the gruesome or simply unbelievable bits, and put more importance on the more palatable bits of the gospels etc, believing the words of Jesus have more authority than other parts of the text.

The fundies don’t want Christians to be able to make their own judgements about which parts of the text have more religious significance, or worse, to be able to disregard or re-interpret chunks of it. That kind of critical thinking tends to at least lead people towards a less authoritarian church, if not to some form of faith verging on deism or even agnosticism.

Its an old, old story. Some authoritarian arseholes don’t want people thinking for themselves, because that leads to disobedience.

 
 

Hey this is great! And you can apply this logic to every day life too! Like, I have no fucking idea how my wallet ended up under the couch wrapped in a pair of ladies underwear with fifty bucks missing, so obviously, GOD DID IT. See, I know I didn’t do it, and therefore the only other explanation is GOD DID IT. There is no other explanation other than GOD DID IT. And we don’t even need to ask WHY God put my waller under the couch wrapped in ladies underwear and stole fifty bucks from me, because he’s fucking GOD and he works in mysterious ways and shit and it would be all kinds of presumptuous to fucking question His wallet-hiding, money-stealing intentions.

 
 

But guy has British accent! that make him smarter guy.

 
 

Nylund asks about the spread-out universe. It’s not spread out. the whole thing is only 6,000 years old. Therefore, all this hoo-hah about stars or nubulae or whatever being millions or billions of light-years away is logically impossible. If we can see something that is more than 6,000 light years away according to pagan pseudo-science, then that implies the thing is more than 6,000 years old. Which is impossible. Therefore, nothing that we can see is more than 6,000 light years away. That proves creationism through scientific logic. Next question?

 
Grand Huck Tarkin
 

I think it is time we demonstrated the full power of this station. Set your course for Kolob.

 
Arky - Cthulhusexual
 

Its an old, old story. Some authoritarian arseholes don’t want people thinking for themselves, because that leads to disobedience.

Worse than disobedience, it might lead to in$olvency. The life of a Bible Waving Talevangical is a lucrative one. Imagine what would happen if large numbers of people started saying “This is bullshit,” and spending their Sunday’s at home and the money they used to tithe on vacation. The minister or pastor’s job is to put on a good show and keep people riled up.

Bums on pews and all that.

 
 

You’ve got the idea right there, Svlad.

And I had no idea what possessed me to spend my nephew’s college tuition on chocolate-covered stripers, little Timmy – so GOD DID IT!

 
 

I got as far as “Pluto rotates backwards, while Uranus rotates on its side”.

 
 

Me: how the same hill did they know which way my anus rotates???

 
 

heh.

UPDATE:

(7) If there is any group of people more eager to turn themselves into victims — or more prone to self-absorbed panic — than our nation’s super-tough guy war cheerleaders, I don’t know which group that might be.

Several days ago, I noted that grizzled warrior and war expert Jonah Goldberg was to appear as the featured speaker at an event hosted by the University of Massachusetts College Republicans, entitled “Give War a Chance,” at which the conquering warrior-hero Goldberg would expound on the “benefits of war,” while a group of super-tough, prime-fighting-age, combat-avoiding College Republicans would sit around in awe, with vicarious sensations of Epic Churchillian Toughness and Greatness Generation Power pulsating through their bodies, as Jonah Goldberg — this Jonah Goldberg — regaled them with Tales of Glory from the Bunker.

This morning, Goldberg went to his computer to claim petulantly that, as a result of my item, he has suffered “a spike in [his] hate mail of late,” and his Churchillian, Freedom-fighting College Republican hosts “are getting harassed with angry email from lefties furious about [his] coming up.” He further claims that these mean emails have “required getting more security than they would normaly [sic] have and [Jonah’s] speakers bureau wanted to warn [him] about the potential for a very hostile reception.”

As a grizzled, courageous warrior, Jonah wants everyone to know that he’s “not particularly worried.” But in the last sentence of his cry for help, he reveals the true purpose of unveiling this complaint (other than his inability, endemic to right-wing tough guys, to resist depicting himself as the beleaguered Victim): “I do hope friendlies will attend as well,” Jonah pleads.

Notice that there is no suggestion that there has been a threat of any kind (nor should there be). Rather, our Amherst-based College Republican Warriors received some “angry emails” about the war-celebrating event; they called for “more security”; Jonah was told to expect some opposition at the event, and now he’s begging “friendlies” to attend and help him. Why, it’s almost like Jonah is about to go on a mission to defend Fallujah and he’s calling his comrades to come provide back-up. Give War a Chance indeed.

indeed.

Everyone knows God and Jesus put all those funny planets and moon things in space when they hid the dinosaur bones. If you’ve got time to worry about planetary evolution, you aren’t spending enough time prayin’ and tithin’.

 
 

how the same hill did they know which way my anus rotates???

Used an airport men’s room lately?

 
 

I don’t understand HOW it came to pass that I consumed 3/4 of a bottle of Johnny Walker this morning and neglected to show up at work! In fact, I don’t remember a thing! The only logical answer is that God made it happen. Why can’t the un-American, God-hating scientists, who love fags and hate America, understand that?

I wish Saul was here to explain this sufficiently.

What’s that? Personal responsibility? Silly moonbats. Personal responsibility only applies to dark people and/or unwed mothers driving around in brand new Cadillacs

 
 

Growing a planet by many small collisions will produce an almost non-spinning planet, since the impacts will be largely self-cancelling.

Have these dickweeds ever heard of empirical evidence? Where did they come up with this ‘fact’? Do they have a room-sized miniature planet-growing chamber whereby they can prove their faith through experiments? No wonder they don’t trust science. Making it up is so much more, uh, faithy?

doesn’t explain why each planet is so unique…

So their main argument is: Because of the impossible complexity of the universe, it must’ve been created. But explain to us how these planets are so unique? Ah-ha! FAITH!!!1!
They live and breathe the Chewbacca Defense.

 
 

This video was created for Christians with low self-esteem.

 
 

I wish Saul was here to explain this sufficiently.

You take that back right now, mister!

 
 

Nyaar… God. Wow. I like how they project their dipshit idea of order onto the natural world. Like “all the planets have to be the SAME and they should all go the SAME WAY otherwise it’s God!!!”

This is ass-backwards from their traditional MO- they used to find examples of ordered-seeming phenomena, proclaim they are impossible without God, declare victory. Here they’re saying that a non-created universe should/would be perfectly ordered and that God introduces these chaotic elements, moons orbiting the “wrong” way, rings on some (BUT NOT ALL!!!) planets etc.

 
 

You might also enjoy the transcript of a recent visit to the Creation Museum by a very skeptical gentleman…

http://scalzi.com/whatever/?p=121

 
 

The Great Scientist’s eyeball
looking down the microscope or a really cool looking nebula 8,000 light years away?

 
 

Oh, and Clinton’s worker must’ve been the WaPo’s contact for that story on Obama secretly being a Muslim trying to take over America.

 
 

I suppose this is why the U.S. has the abysmal student science rankings compared to the rest of the world.

You guys are doomed.

 
 

OT, but well in the realm of lame

Homeowners Bush whacked
Special to the Sun
The leader of the Western world led U.S. homeowners facing crippling mortgage payments in the ongoing subprime crisis to an incorrect phone line last week. After a White House meeting with administration officials and lenders on a new plan to help, President George W. (wrong number) Bush said: “I have a message for every homeowner worried about rising mortgage payments: The best you can do for your family is to call 1-800-995-HOPE.” Unfortunately he was a couple of digits off, it is actually 1-888-995-HOPE (4673). That gets homeowners through to the Homeownership Preservation Foundation, a nonprofit group that offers free housing counseling for homeowners. Moments after Bush completed his remarks, a White House aide told reporters the president misspoke and gave the correct number. Calls to the wrong number Bush gave out were met with a busy signal. The number belongs to the Texas-based Freedom Christian Academy, which offers religious-based curriculum for home schooling.

 
 

The Great Scientist’s eyeball
looking down the microscope or a really cool looking nebula 8,000 light years away?

Aiiiiieeee! Sauron lives!

 
 

I don’t get why pointing out the random, haphazard and non-uniform nature of the solar system is supposed to convince me that it was created by an intelligent being. Doesn’t it seem to be an argument for the reverse? Unless maybe he was drunk when he knocked Uranus on its side (it wasn’t the only thing he did to yer anus when he was drunk hyuk hyuk self high-five).

 
 

The number belongs to the Texas-based Freedom Christian Academy, which offers religious-based curriculum for home schooling.

Lesley, the Academy number was probably just the first one that came to mind.

 
 

i have never geard any scientist say that god did not ‘create’ the big bang.
so why don’t these retards just claim that and STFU already.

 
 

um, that’s heard

 
 

The so-called ‘Christians’ who made that video have swallowed the evolutionary secular-humanist athiestic communist manifesto hook, line, and sinker. This is obvious because they show the Earth orbiting the Sun. As IF! Pikers.

Any REAL Christian knows that this heathen heliocentrism is biblically (and therfore unquestionably) untrue; that in fact and verse the entire universe revolves around the Earth. And Dr. Gerardus D. Boew, Christian extrraordinaire and tenured professor of something at Baldwin-Wallace College, shows us the proof:

http://www.geocentricity.com/

Yep. Welcome to the Biblically geocentric cosmos, bitches! As the True Christians know, when the Bible, every English word of which is literally true, says in Joshua that the sun stopped moving, it means in space, not relative to the sky. So HAH! Proof. Details are left as an exercise for the student.

[Imagine a decal on my Geocentric Metro, showing a styilized Christian fish shape character grinning madly while pissing on a Copericus logo.]

.

 
 

oh, thanks for tripling the power of teh stoopid. I will have to wait until I get home to complete the melting of my once powerful brain.

 
Comrade Rutherford
 

Proof that God did NOT invent the universe: Human genitalia.

Obviously there was no intelligence behind the design and placement of human genitalia.

Men have these fragile dangly bits that are extremely painful if caught on, say, berry bushes while foraging. And they don’t work if they can’t hang suspended outside the body – that is, that they were ‘designed’ to NOT work at regular body temperature. Yeah, thats really intelligent design!

Women’s genitalia rest directly on the ground when they sit, picking up dirt and whatever else is on the ground. That crud can get further inside and cause infections. And what’s so ‘intelligent’ about having women bleed every month?

Who’s idea was it to put the enterainment center and the sewer system in the same place?

If you, and intelligent being, were to design a new species from scratch (which you can do because you are an omnipotent sky fairy), would you ever make something this incredibly stupid???

But American ‘christians’ are trained from birth to suspend all disbelief, indeed they are encouraged to believe the patently and obviously false while rejecting the painfully obvious truth.

For more debunking see:
http://www.talkorigins.org/indexcc/list.html

 
 

i have never geard any scientist say that god did not ‘create’ the big bang.

That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you! It wasn’t even on purpose. I was just trying to wire the subwoofer. There’s still a nebula around the outlet. I haven’t touched a thing since then. Please hear me out on this…

 
 

[changed the update a couple of times, btw]

 
 

MFA, that’s not a spoof site? It’s fer reals?

OMFG. I simply don’t know what to say.

 
Arky - Cthulhusexual
 

I’m not going near anything called The Infamous Banana Theory. Sounds like a game played at Young Republican shindigs.

 
 

Of course, according to the bible, pi=3.

 
 

Zsa: Sadly, yes. Once Bibliodolators have fully accepted an untenable position (that every word of the Bible is literally true, no matter what one’s lying eyes might say–a view upon which their very concept of self relative to the cosmos depends–the mind becomes capable of no end of effort in order to defend the position, and they become caught in their own tautology..

Jesus wept.

.

 
 

Ahh, man, this is nothing. I heard on NPR over the weekend about these hindu fundies who are all in a tither over the Indian government’s plan to dig a ship channel around the un-navigable part of the coast by Sri Lanka.

See, you just CAN’T do that, ’cause the reason it’s shallow and non navigable is NOT silting and sediment and shoaling that the stupid scientists talk about. Oh, no, what are you, stupid?

Lord RAM had to get over there to fight a demon army long ago, dontchaknow, so he had his MONKEY ARMY build a bridge. What you have is the remains of Lord RAM’s ancient bridge. And to dig a ship channel thru it would be sacrilege.

I don’t know what’s wrong with people, but I’m rapidly learning to hate them…

mikey

 
 

Next thing you know, you’ll be denying that Mary rode Joseph’s ass. Then, you’ll deny the virgin birth. Then you’ll deny Santa Claus and, just when it seems you could sink no lower, you’ll deny Dr BLT.

But he’s just completed a Christmas CD featuring 25, mostly original tracks, and he’s already started working on one of two Christmas releases for 2008, entitled Big Bulbs from Dr BLT’s Novelty Christmas Tree.

If you liked You’re Not the Kinda Ho that Santa Had in Mind, feel free to sample songs like Santa Lost His Ho in Sydney, Black Santa, Prancer’s on Prozac, and (She’s bin) Christmas Stalking at his record store right here:

http://www.drblt.net

Last Christmas, it was not only Christmas that was attacked right here at Sadly No. Dr BLT was attacked for shameless self-promotion, and no matter how much shame he displayed, he was still regarded in this way.

So this year he’s appointed me to be the bearer of good gifts. MERRY politically CHRISTMAS!

 
 

Man, we don’t get any monkey armies in the Episcopal Church.

I feel totally ripped off.

 
 

Lord RAM had to get over there to fight a demon army long ago, dontchaknow, so he had his MONKEY ARMY build a bridge. What you have is the remains of Lord RAM’s ancient bridge. And to dig a ship channel thru it would be sacrilege.

I don’t see a problem with rehiring the monkey army to dig the channel. The monkey unemployment situation is terrible and this could help many a monkey family pay off their monkeycopters.

 
 

That settles it. I’m signing up for the Monkey Army faith.

 
 

Monkey Army Envy.

Look for it in the DSM-V.

 
 

I’m not going to fall for a banana in the tailpipe!!

 
 

Dear Scientistmistses:

You wuz all been done been LEFT BEHIND!

 
 

I wish I was Left Behind! The problem is that we haven’t, and all these jokers are still hanging around!

 
Comrade Rutherford
 

NOT related to dredging off-coast, but…

Hindu gods summoned to Indian court: report

Published: Friday December 7, 2007
http://rawstory.com/news/afp/Hindu_gods_summoned_to_Indian_court_12072007.html

Two popular Hindu gods have been summoned to a court in India as witnesses in a property dispute, the Press Trust of India reported Friday.

 
 

What I want to know is why god hates Saturn so much, that he tipped the fucker over.

 
Comrade Rutherford
 

Go here to sign up with the Monkey god:
http://www.hanuman.com/

 
Comrade Rutherford
 

American Christians: Incest is sanctioned, indeed, demanded by God!

Here is the text of a display at the Creationism museum explaining how incest is mandated by their ‘god’:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mavra_chang/897966183/in/set-72157601005392540/

Where did Cain get his wife?

Cain went out from the presence of the Lord and dwelt in the land of Nod, on the east of Eden. And Cain knew his wife and she conceived and bore Enoch (Genesis 4:16-17)

The Bible teaches that Adam was “the first man” and that Eve was the “mother of all living” (1 Corinthians 15:45; Genesis 3:20). All humans are descendants of these two people.

Genesis 5:4 teaches that Adam and Eve had sons and daughters. So, originally, brothers had to marry sisters.

Before jumping to conclusions, realize that:

1. All humans are related. So whenever someone gets married, they marry their relative.

2. One of the most honored men of the Bible, Abraham, was married to his half-sister. It wasn’t until much later that God instructed the Israelites not to marry close relatives – a principle we follow today.

3. When closer relatives marry today, there is an increased likelihood of deformities in the offspring because of mutations (mistakes) that have accumulated in the human race since Adam’s sin. The closer the relatives, the more likelihood such people will have similar mistakes. If these mutations are inherited from both parents, then there is an increased probability of major psychological problems.

4. The farther back in history one goes (back towards the Fall of Adam), the less of a problem mutations in the human population would be. At the time of Adam and Eve’s children, there would have been very few mutations in the human genome – thus close relatives could marry, and provided it was one man for one woman (the biblical doctrine of marriage), there was nothing wrong with close relatives marrying in early biblical history.

5. In present usage, the word incest includes both the marriage of close relatives and any sexual activity between close relatives who are not married. Sexual activity outside the bounds of marriage, whether between relatives or not, has been wrong fro the beginning. Marriage between close relatives, however, was not a problem in early biblical history.

6. Since God is the One who defined marriage in the first place, God’s Word is the only standard for defining proper marriage. People who do not accept the Bible as their absolute authority have no basis for condemning someone like Cain marrying his sister.

 
 

My favorite was the “some moons rotate in the opposite direction” (or some shiz like that) so obviously, God made them.

These people would really freak out if they flushed a toilet in Australia.

 
 

What I want to know is why god hates Saturn so much, that he tipped the fucker over.

Now dammit, I didn’t tip it over. Listen: Gravity happens, but it’s a random and beautiful universe within that framework. Chill out.

 
 

I don’t hate anybody.

 
 

These people would really freak out if they flushed a toilet in Australia.

The direction toilets flush is almost entirely due to the architecture of the toilet.

Amen.

 
 

Whaddya mean, one man and one woman? Esau, Jacob, Ashur, Gideon, Elkanah, Ahab, David and Solomon all had multiple (from 2 to 700+ in the case of Solomon) wives. Plus there’s concubinage, taking and marrying prisoners of war, buying your rape victim from her father, and probably other great kinds of marriage that the Bible endorses but I really don’t feel like reading about them right now.

 
 

Well that convinced me. Whats the number for Huckleberrys’ campaign again?

 
 

Wow, I think I’m dumber now after having watch that. I’m going to go fail my astrophysics test now.

 
 

The direction toilets flush is almost entirely due to the architecture of the toilet.

Amen.

So now you cynics would have us believe that the majesty of toilet flushing is due to some soulless hunk of porcelain, instead of leagues of angels pushing our turds down the drain in a harmony of fecal beauty.

 
Arky - Cthulhusexual
 

Where did Cain get his wife?

You know, I always thought the story of Cain in the Land of Nod (Afganistan = Opium perhaps?) was one of those delightful little inconsitencies in the Bible that showed it was once a collection of folk tales about a specific tribe: “Here’s how we came into existence, as opposed to those smelly heathens over there.”

The CR really shouldn’t have tried to close the bloophole on this one. Not only is it just gross and pathetic: “God said it’s ok!” but even this little secularist knows this theory isn’t supported by the Bible itself.

The proper chronology is: Adam and Eve had Cain and Abel. Those two sons had their little quarrel and God told Cain to take off. Cain took himself from God’s presense (How? Isn’t God every where? Kind of suggests Cain went off to hang out with the smelly heathens) met his unnamed wife and they had kids. After that Adam had Seth and then a bunch of sons and daughters.

At least that’s the story according to the Bible. Next those sinners at the CR will suggest God rested on the second day!

But I still want to know if the CR talks about the giants.

 
Principal Blackman
 

OT: Mark Noonan: “Does Oprah endorsing Obama equal an illegal campaign contribution?” He’s actually being serious about that. Even for Noonan, that’s fucking stupid.

 
Arky - Cthulhusexual
 

Actually, according to the KJV Adam and Eve didn’t even have their third child until after Cain’s great to the fourth times grandchildren were born.

Sorry, thumping Bible Thumpers with the Bible is a hobby o’ mine.

 
 

There’s one accurate part of this we’re all overlooking.
The solar system did not evolve. Evolution is a process which involves biological life forms.
It probably makes the mouthbreathers they’re targeting automatically agree with their ‘arguments’ to call it evolution, tho.
Also, as mentioned, that guy has a british accent. If someone with a british accent says something you think is true, you have empirical proof.
Taking issue with individual points is like arguing with a racist; just being taken seriously is a victory for em.
These people are going to lead to the extinction of humanity, tho. This much stupid has to be lethal eventually.

 
 

My favorite part was when their expert biologist/geneticist admited that he had no idea how other scientists came up with 98% like chimps stat (which btw came from early DNA hybridization studies, IRC). Oh, and also when they called neandertals syphallitic cave people.

 
 

So now you cynics would have us believe that the majesty of toilet flushing is due to some soulless hunk of porcelain, instead of leagues of angels pushing our turds down the drain in a harmony of fecal beauty.

I think this calls for the long overdue “Intellegent Design of Feces” video.

 
 

I think this calls for the long overdue “Intellegent Design of Feces” video.

I shall have the monkey butlers set it up in the DVD player after they have finished serving me dinner.

 
 

Maybe we could reform the Monkey Army into monkey butlers? I know the military-to-civilian transition can be painful, but perhaps, with some divine inspiration…

 
 

Bullsmith said,

December 10, 2007 at 18:22

If God made man in his image, and man is as monumentally stupid as shown in this clip, what are the creationists really saying about God?

Simple. The creationists’ message is so unbelievably incredible, and so completely impossible to explain, that it proves His intervention. (Suck it, science!)

 
 

Jesus freaks talking about science is like that tubby goof in the thead below this one talking about sex.

 
 

More and more, the Monkey Army is doing public works-type projects rather than straight-ahead fighting. I mean, the bridge building thing right there, you know, is more Corps of Engineers than Infantry or what have you. There’s still certainly a need for monkeys in combat, but also in organizations like Screech for America or the Works Primates Administration.

 
 

This sort of reasoning, like “irreducible complexity”, is just a rephrasing of the classic fallacy Argument from Ignorance.

 
 

Principal Blackman:

That is some pretty funny stupid. Follow up question: are Bernie and Phyl guilty of tax evasion for not reporting New England Patriot Vince Wilfork’s endorsement of their furniture as income? Discuss.

 
 

Y’all don’t appreciate the genius of this.

Used to be, God the Creator was evident in order, simplicity, logic connection, mechanism. How could all these pieces have come together so perfectly if not for a master engineer?

That is just SO last-millennium.

Today’s God is a monster-scale interior decorator. A quirky, challenging installation artist. You recognize His work by its taste. Only a boring watchmaker-type engineer would have all those planets spinning the same way, or use the same materials. God sweeps in and says no, darlings, let’s give this one a nice ring, spin that one backward, and I want some different textures here, some rock, some gas, a little liquid, Not too much — we’re still going for a postminimalist thing against the inky backdrop — but enough to give each planet a little character, to bring this system alive.

Now admittedly His invention failed a little with Neptune but they can’t all be hits, and He had a lot of other projects going. Word is His work in 47 Ursae Majoris is just stunning, I mean it will make you rethink your whole concept of “solar system.”

 
 

Talk about Extreme Make-Overs…

 
 

It’s wingnut logic applied to science!

“If not X, then bananaorcradio!”

 
 

Oh, bosh, I can beat that. There is a website (www.fixedearth.com) that proves with scientific certainty (the Bible tells them so) that the Sun revolves around the Earth, the Universe ends just past the orbit of the moon, and all of this heliocentric stuff is just a Jewish conspiracy to undermine Christianity.

 
 

Did that video make my head hurt? Yeah. I’m going along with this comment here, “Roland, the Headless Thompson Gunner said,

December 10, 2007 at 17:53

Am the only one who thinks the “Religous Right” has jumped the shark?

When they attack science, which they don’t undertand, they look silly. When they attack the legitamacy of Islam, they undermine the legitamacy of religion in general. They paint themselves into corners with no-compromise positions on issues like abortion and gay rights. They continue to espouse a political agenda that is counter to the teaching so Jesus… and on and on the list grows.

The rise of the “stewardship” Evangelicals and the “New” Evangelicals, as well as the increase in athiests and non-churchgoers… these aren’t anomalies, they are the future.” Here, here Roland! Thanks for all the laughs on this thread. I feel so, um, er, normal? Yeah, that’s the word I’m looking for.

 
 

t4toby said

“ave these dickweeds ever heard of empirical evidence? ”

No. The magic of homeschooling.

 
humbert dinglepencker
 

A spaceman who came from Uranus,
Had a hypertoroidial anus,
It could fold in or out
Form a drain or a spout,
And what he did with it truly was heinous.

 
 

Hey this is great! And you can apply this logic to every day life too! Like, I have no fucking idea how my wallet ended up under the couch wrapped in a pair of ladies underwear with fifty bucks missing, so obviously, GOD DID IT. See, I know I didn’t do it, and therefore the only other explanation is GOD DID IT. There is no other explanation other than GOD DID IT. And we don’t even need to ask WHY God put my waller under the couch wrapped in ladies underwear and stole fifty bucks from me, because he’s fucking GOD and he works in mysterious ways and shit and it would be all kinds of presumptuous to fucking question His wallet-hiding, money-stealing intentions.

Bah, this is old news. In the Iliad, XIX 85-94, Agamemnon, trying to dodge the responsibility for getting into a stupid and childish pissing-match with Achilles, gets his blameshiftin’ relijin on (and goes on like this for the next 50 verses or so):

Oft have the Achaians spoken thus to me, and upbraided me; but it is not I who am the cause, but Zeus and Destiny and Erinys that walketh in the darkness, who put into my soul fierce madness on the day when in the assembly I, even I, bereft Achilles of his meed. What could I do? it is God who accomplisheth all. Eldest daughter of Zeus is Ate who blindeth all, a power of bane: delicate are her feet, for not upon the earth she goeth, but walketh over the heads of men, making men fall; and entangleth this one or that.

(Lang’s translation – not because it’s particularly good (it isn’t), but because it’s available online. Original here)

 
 

C,

I think if you polled Michael Medved you’d find that he shares your vision of the creation of the universe as some kind of Funkyzeit mit Gott episode. He pretty much called God a homo a little while back:

I am the Lord Your God” This one makes liberals obviously and instantly uncomfortable … Secularists therefore resent the notion of an open, out-of-the-closet Deity who shows off in such a noisy, flashy way, staging the Exodus from Egypt with all its plagues and sea-splitting, then announcing himself in a voice from the mountaintop heard by hundreds of thousands of people.

 
 

It makes me want Huckleberry to get the nomination, so he and his followers can get the decisive drubbing they are asking for.

with our luck Huckleberry will win and in 4 years time there will be fighting along the Mississippi between The Radical Baptist Front of America, The American Baptist Radical Front, The Baptist Front of Radical America and the 501st Stormtrooper Legion.

 
 

The fossil record is a tool of Satan, planted in the earth to make people doubt the word of God. There are no ancient fish, we were all created a mere 6000 years ago. I remember it well. First I wasn’t then poof! there I was, swimming along dreaming of trilobites. Which also never existed.

 
 

Soooo……

The random nature of interplanetary movement proves orderly design, then.

If I were god I would have made all the things go, y’know, in the same direction, not all willy-nilly and helter-skelter.

Makes me think that god’s a pretty lousy engineer.

And if you haven’t seen the banana theory explained, you really do have to click on the other link provided.

It makes the short version look like genius.

 
 

Oh, bosh, I can beat that. There is a website (www.fixedearth.com)…

To the archives!

 
 

“empirical evidence”

Sounds French to me. Let us see your Homeland Security Citizenship Card….

 
 

Galactic Dustbin–

Don’t forget the Nauvoo Legion. The Mormons will want to throw their hat into the ring as well following Multiple Mitt’s humiliation.

 
 

They didn’t give us nearly enough of Psalm 19. Here’s 4-6 to compliment passages 1-3 which they provided:

Their [the heavens] line is gone out through all the earth, and their words to the end of the world. In them hath He set a tabernacle for the sun, which is as a bridegroom coming out of his chamber, and rejoiceth as a strong man to run a race. His going forth is from the end of the heaven, and his circuit unto the ends of it: and there is nothing hid from the heat thereof.

Yep, the sun revolves around the Earth.

Thankyoucomeagain.

 
 

You gotta love how the wingers like to drag out smooth-talking Brits to make their truly insane points.

The clown in the video, VD Hansen and Poodle Boy have all soothed the mouth-breathing idiot masses with their cultured Oxbridge-speak.

‘Cause when it comes out in Pastor Yokel Jim’s Low Ozarks accent it just sounds too much like the bullshit it is.

 
 

Don’t forget the Nauvoo Legion. The Mormons will want to throw their hat into the ring as well following Multiple Mitt’s humiliation.

Sure everyone is invited! The American Secular War will be the last employment opportunity in this Century!

Me I am looking to take to the seas with a hearty bad of pirates, just as the FSM foretold.

 
 

The fact is, liberals have no facts. They shout and scream and use their bias to deny the reality of God, and have not addressed one single point raised by the scientist in the video. They just dismiss them out of hand, and they have NO PROOF of evolution, of the cosmos, or of life. Same things.

 
 

Gary Ruppert–

And you’ve put you proof of a god’s existence where, exactly?

 
 

Lesly Sez: This video was created for Christians with low self-esteem.

MB addz: ChristianityReligion was created for people w/ low self-esteem & cognition issues.

 
 

Holy mother of god…
Ok ok… this is just lame. So they say Evolution is a lie! Okay, well I believe it MIGHT have happened in some sort of way. Maybe not the exact same way I learned in university, but maybe some kind of way that comes close. Or whatever, at least in university they also teach that what is told might change in a week, a month or a decade. We are constantly discovering new stuff, constantly adjusting our opinion basing ourselves on the facts we find. Did anyone mention in church that Bible was written by humans and that they in fact can make writing and interpretation mistakes? (translation too huh)

Now what about the evolution we are currently witnessing? We could argue on the lack of paleological facts for hours, but there are certainly moths in england that have evolved in response to pollution! The problem is that it is hard to believe that things change when they hardly change in a human lifetime. But we are collecting datas folks, yes we are. The more scientists will analyse their environment, the larger our point of view will be. And then paleo-scientists will kick your sorry ass!

And what is this Archeopteryx thing about? If you read recent articles instead of having nice choir practices at the church (no offense intended, choirs are great when they sing in my mom’s cd player for christmas) you would see that WE KNOW. And nobody cried.

You say: your articles don’t come to a conclusion that fits everything, burn them!
I say: So is it really translated “a virgin” or “a woman”? Because that changes a few things…

 
 

tb: [R]ings on some (BUT NOT ALL!!!) planets etc.

Actually, all planets (maybe not Mercury) have rings, that is, a bunch of space crap orbiting the planet above the equator. It’s just that some planets have more & bigger crap orbiting them, making it visible to the eye w/ even a crummy telescope.

And most Xtians are like that too, only it doesn’t even take a ‘scope to spot the crap orbiting them.

 
 

Gary Ruppert said

December 11, 2007 at 1:07

The fact is, liberals have no facts. They shout and scream and use their bias to deny the reality of God, and have not addressed one single point raised by the scientist in the video. They just dismiss them out of hand, and they have NO PROOF of evolution, of the cosmos, or of life. Same things.

Wait — you mean God wanted His magic to be proven by mortal man, but simply was unable to think of how to do so more clearly?

Like, the best He could do to demonstrate that His magic, and not some sort of non-magical process, was responsible for the Universe was to, what, set a few planets’ orbits different?

Where’s the A material? Where are the giant flaming letters in orbit saying “Here Mah Magic Kthxbye”???

And if He didn’t want to leave all sorts of evidence of His magic, you’re telling me he forgot to straighten up the f***ing planets? Ooops?

Which is it? Is your God weak or stupid? And it’s not me giving these choices, it’s you.

 
 

“Which is it? Is your God weak or stupid? And it’s not me giving these choices, it’s you.”

Heck, in Ye Olde Testymint, God mostly leaves his speaking to crazy old guys who’d been out in the Negev far too long. Weak, stupid, or lazy? This old-time religion just leaves me filled with miracle and wonder, or something. Something resembling monkey butlers.

 
 

Look at any Christian sect which insists on a literal interpretation of the Bible. They are very authoritarian, and a bit cult like, controlling members very closely. On the other hand, churches which allow a non-literal interpretation can be quite liberal, and give their members much more leeway in their personal behaviour, preferring broad guidelines to a huge rulebook, and are generally a lot less dogmatic about scripture and its application to the modern world.

As far as I’m concerned, it’s all codswallop.

 
 

The fact is, there is no evolution we are currently witnessing. All is as God intended it. And the Earth is ours to use for our needs. There is no global warming, nor should there be any concern about pollution.

 
 

The fact is, there is no evolution we are currently witnessing.

Had your flu shot this year?

 
 

You know, we really should consider herding all the hack scientists and hucksters into a camp and gassing them. In the long run, we will all be better off.

 
 

I just read “jumped the shark” as “Jumped the snark” Heh.

 
 

Pretty sure the hack scientists are not the ones we should fear the most.

Nor deal with first…

mikey

 
 

You know, we really should consider herding all the hack scientists and hucksters into a camp and gassing them.

You know you can just buy new lampshades, right?

 
Smiling Mortician
 

Huckleberry

Anybody else hear NPR’s interview today with evangelical voters in Iowa? They don’t even know his fucking name — one woman called him “Hucklebee,” acknowledged that she knew absolutely fuckall about him, but was planning to throw him her vote ’cause he sounds like a good christian. Then her husband said he was waffling among (well, he said “between,” but why pick on him for his lexical ignorance?) Thompson, Huckabee and McCain (!) because he was a disappointed Brownback voter and didn’t know where to turn because he wasn’t convinced Romney “could leave his religion out of it” when it comes to the duties of teh prez.

Please shoot me now.

 
 

There once was an Iowa hick
Who pondered a political pick.
“The ones whut ain’t saved
Are shorely depraved
And the ones whut are probly suck dick.”

 
 

I see that the polarization of American culture continues apace.

 
 

[…] do evangelical types hate science so […]

 
 

My favorite quote: “Growing a large gaseous planet posses an insermountable hurdle for evolutionists”

Of course. Biological evolution contains elaborate explanationitory models of planetary formation. And if there is anything wrong with what Darwin wrote about Saturn, then dogs could not become cats.

And all those SHOULDs that are easily refuted by a basic understanding of physics! AAAGH!

“According to evolution, if people came from apes, there SHOULD not be any more apes…”

 
 

Why is this creationist video talking about ribosomes, cell membranes and the endoplasmic reticulum? I don’t remember any of that being in the bible!

 
 

Why is this creationist video talking about ribosomes, cell membranes and the endoplasmic reticulum? I don’t remember any of that being in the bible!

Everyone skips the begats.

 
 

Hard to believe that those Creatinoists videos are not a parody, I mean the utter serious tone they take on their nonsense beggars belief

I mean they are painful to watch, one feels like ones brain cells are killing themseleves out of watching so much stupidity.

 
Smiling Mortician
 

Ooh, I love the begats. I could read ’em all day long.

 
 

Heh. You gotta take out the www in the URL if you want to steal my name properly.

 
 

First I wasn’t then poof! there I was, swimming along dreaming of trilobites. Which also never existed.

But, but… I have a fossil trilobite on my desk at home! How can such things be?

 
 

[…] Sadly, No – Jesus Rode A Dinosaur — In Space […]

 
 

so if the universe is not the same, then doesn’t that kind of disapprove the idea that some Sky Being created it?

because they are all about everything being perfect, so if it isn’t perfect therefore some ‘creator’ couldn’t of had a hand in it.

 
 

Could a fake Righteous Bubba do THIS????

[does something]

What say you now, charlatan?

 
 

I’d go easier on the commas.

 
 

Saully Ruppert probably thinks those commas are getting what they deserve.

 
 

I’d also recommend some spell-check and semi-colon abuse. I’ll leave regular colon abuse to you.

 
 

Fake Righteous Bubba.

Doesn’t rhyme. Isn’t funny. Just can’t be…

mikey

 
 

I tend not to use the word “troll” as an epithet. Mix it up a bit and swear more.

 
 

I have come to almost hate the name “Big Bang”. Because it implies “explosion”, and – if you are a Big Banger – you don’t think the universe began in an “explosion”, but in a massive, nearly instant, expansion.

It’s not the same thing at all.

 
 

Doesn’t rhyme. Isn’t funny.

I admit I was hoping for more. It’s like having Julia Gorin pretend to be me.

 
 

I don’t use “Xtian” or “assclown” much. Something involving “shit” would be better.

 
 

The hell? They can’t really…I mean that just not even close to wrong. Do you think, um. Hmm. Hmmmm.

 
 

Slalom, gentlemen.

 
 

The fact is, you are gasping at straws hear. You have nothing, no science, no facts, just bias and hate for USA and God, and you have not brought ONE fact to disprove any of the real facts in this video, which prove that God created the universe, not some smug liberal scientists who are aragant enouigh to think it just happened by itself. Does higher education make you stupid? Proof is here in this forum.

 
 

Does higher education make you high?

 
 

I don’t know what’s wrong with people, but I’m rapidly learning to hate them…

It’s not their fault, Mikey! Unlike you and I and most of the rest of us here, those Talebangelicals were invented by an angry and stupid god. And they are proud to continue in the path He has set for them.

 
 

I’m sorry, something appears to be wrong with my web browser. I meant to go to “Sadly No” but I seem to have landed at “Pharyngula” instead.

 
 

I’m well into gasping at straws too, dood.

When there’s china white smoking on the foil, anyway!

Har, har, har….

Waitaminute. That doesn’t sound the Teh Penguin….

mikey

 
 

But, but… I have a fossil trilobite on my desk at home! How can such things be?

It is a Snare of Satan! You’ll need to get rid of it lest if fill your home with the dreaded Empirical Meth, which laid Rev. Teddy sHaggard low … on numerous occasions.

Fortunately I have a Snare of Satan disposal facility, which is also good for disposing of any computers, audio equipment, recordings of un-Godly music or alcoholic beverages that Satan may have placed in your home. So box it up very carefully (if it breaks in transit Satan will pop out of your heat register and eat your liver) and send it to me along with a $500 processing fee so that I may get rid of it for you.

Thou.

Thee.

Something. Anyway, stop reading this, you need to get packing.

 
 

A Pharyngula commenter points us to http://www.newyorker.com/archive/2005/09/26/050926sh_shouts which is much better than my intervention above.

Yeah, if anyone can borrow an old English guy, we could pretty much script an intelligent-falling video. If the earth is really hurtling through space in a circle how come we feel nothing? Huh? Answer that, lieberals.

In fact the posted video, if you think about it, dabbles dangerously in heliocentrism.

 
 

Slalom, I like ’em.

 
 

Look, OBVIOUSLY the world was created fifteen minutes ago, with all the fake dinosaur bones, and the light from distant stars just 15 light-minutes away, and fake memories of everything that supposedly happened in our “lifetimes” all set up in our heads, and some of us presumably halfway through taking a big dump. The important question is Why Would Someone Do That? And the answer, you may be astounded to learn, is You Don’t Want To Know.

 
Qetesh the Qaveat Qat
 

if you are a Big Banger –

Oooh, I so want to be a Big Banger. Can I, Miss Jillian? Huh, huh, huh?

 
Qetesh the Qaveat Qat
 

So, correct me if I’m wrong, but that means God put the ring around Uranus?

 
Charles Giacometti
 

I believe in God and I also ascribe to the the scientific explanations for the origins of the universe and for things like evolution. Indeed, since Thomas Aquinas, educated people of faith have been very comfortable with the idea that we know some things through science and we know other things through faith.

Aquinas. As in almost 800 years ago.

So why do troglodytes like “Gary Ruppert” rant and rave that somehow science is an affront to faith? Is it because they are mentally ill? Yes. Is it because they are woefully educated? Yes. Is it because that the world and any complexity scares them? Yes.

Ignore the pathetic, scared little creatures and eventually they will go away.

 
 

So why do troglodytes like “Gary Ruppert” rant and rave that somehow science is an affront to faith? Is it because they are mentally ill? Yes. Is it because they are woefully educated? Yes. Is it because that the world and any complexity scares them? Yes.

Why are you speaking like Donald Rumsfeld?

 
 

So if every planet in the solar system was identical, with identical rotation and perfectly circular orbits, that would be so unlikely as to demonstrate the existence of a Creator, albeit one with little imagination.
Conversely, if every planet in the solar system had different properties and followed different orbits, that would be so unlikely as to demonstrate the existence of a Creator, albeit one with poor quality control.

But “closed psychotic thought system” is such a judgmental term that I’m happy to use ‘literal fundamental religion’ instead.

 
 

Hmm. So the differences between the planets in the solar system prove that they were created by God in individual acts. And the similarities in DNA between creatures on earth prove that they were created by God in individual acts. What would these people accept as evidence that the universe evolved?

 
 

Who’s idea was it to put the enterainment center and the sewer system in the same place?
—————— Joke punchline spoiler ahead ————————-
Clearly a civil engineer.

Next thing you know, you’ll be denying that Mary rode Joseph’s ass
I’ll say this for Dr BLT, he knows how to get my attention.

 
 

“Semmelweiss has utterly failed to explain why the death rates in the obstetrical clinic fall when doctors wash their hands and instruments in chlorinated lime. He is just superstitious about his little ritual. ‘Cadaveric material’ indeed! It’s a fancy name for something that doesn’t exist! If we haven’t found a different cause for childbed fever by the nineteenth century, clearly there is no other answer than the well-established cause of unbalanced humors. Science has gone as far as it can go in this matter.”

 
Comrade Rutherford
 

Gary said, “There is no global warming,”

Then why is Greenland melting at a record rate never before seen in all of the history of the ice pack?

And he said, “nor should there be any concern about pollution.”

So just to pick one example, lead poisoning doesn’t cause the effects seen by lead pollution? What is lead poisoning, then, Divine Wrath?

 
Comrade Rutherford
 

I gotta say, Gary Ruppert is the best parody of an deliberately un-aware ‘christian’ I’ve ever come across.

But every once in a while he says something so incredibly dumb, it blows the cover off the parody and reveals the snark. I mean, no one can be that ignorant and still operate a computer … right?

 
 

I love this. It just can’t get any better. I am so sick of being deemed ‘arrogant’ by religidiots because I think and now I have the perfect riposte: this chump says EVERYTHING was created for OUR benefit!

Now THAT’S arrogance!

 
 

Merry Christmas everybody! Let’s not argue. People are ambiguity intolerant. God is not. People cannot allow for a universe in which there is a God and in which there are natural occurrences that seem to point to some type of evolutionary process.

People tend to be myopic, assuming that if something appears to be occurring, it is occurring, and, in accordance with their presuppositions about the universe.

If it appears to be global warming, and not merely the unfolding of biblical prophesy, then they assume that it is merely global warming. If it appears to be Darwin’s version of evolution (a theory that is on the brink of collapse as a new quantum physics-based scientific paradigm that includes the possibility of a creator emergences and threatens to become ascendant).

So let us all get into the spirit of Christmas (yes, even Muslims, it won’t hurt you). Let’s show kindness to the Gary Rupperts and the Dr BLTs of the world. Christmas is a time for peace. Let us all listen to the music of Dr BLT (not necessarily purchase it, because we all know that Dr BLT hates both fame and money) to get in touch with our need to love all people, including conservatives. And please don’t spread any nasty rumors that I am Dr BLT. Here’s proof (you’ll find no mention of Troll, the Ancient Yuletide Carol here):

http://www.drblt.net

 
 

It appears I ended that second paragraph too soon (as if the sentence weren’t long enough) it should continue after the brackets with….

…then we assume that it is Darwin’s version of evolution at work.

I hope I didn’t throw anybody for a loop with that conspicuous error.

 
 

Gary Ruppert said,

December 11, 2007 at 3:30

Does higher education make you stupid?

What college did you attend, again?

 
 

So let me get this straight,…

Because we have retro grade orbiting planets and moons means God did it? Errr I thought God was all about perfection and symmetry,… seems to me this imperfect solar system that he/she/spaghetti noodles created obviously proves he/she/spaghetti noodles doesn’t exist, because it lacks godly perfection and symmetry, QED.

Damn, watch that pile of shite made my brain bleed.

 
 

“I thought God was all about perfection and symmetry,…”

To even begin to understand God, you have to leave behind pre-conceived notions about the nature of God. You have to think outside the God box.

The God Box? Hmmm…, sounds like a good name for Dr BLT’s next album. You see, you’ve already been a great source of inspiration, even with all of your doubt.

If God thought that beauty was only to be found in perfection and symmetry, he wouldn’t have inspired the music of Dr BLT.

Thomas was a doubter too. It didn’t stop Jesus from loving him, and your doubt won’t stop Jesus from loving you either. Love of money has a bigger chance of keeping you out of the kingdom than mere doubt.

 
Porcoises And Tuna
 

OF COURSE God is no way to run modern society, but it was a perfectly reasonable way to organize things before teh fossil fuels.

Before teh cheap fuels, there was no incentive for us to understand for reals the details of how things really worked. We spent 99% of our energy simply eating / not freezing, and God was the best we could do with the extra 1% of our energy.

Considering the circumstances, I think God worked out pretty well for most everyone involved.

It’s too easy to snickars at God today, because we are so more enlightened than to think about God. Shame on us.

 
 

[…] Sadly, No has several versions of the video, in case you’re into making your brain bleed. […]

 
 

I watched all 4 clips…

child abuse.

 
 

what about the god damn RUG on that guys head !!! if they think thats his hair then it does not surprise me that they buy that other shit!!!!

 
 

I had to stop after the first video, my brain was indeed bleeding.

 
 

The best information about viagra http://www.starpills.com

 
 

informative piece there, Thanks for this.its wonderfull to see someone with a like mind.

 
 

It’s so great that you share this with us

 
 

Dude, so much AD here, why not clean them all?

 
 

This solved my big problem

 
 

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