Longer Glenn Reynolds

CONGRESS DECLARES a pink Christmas. “And they dare say they support the troops?”
posted at 02:36 PM by Glenn Reynolds

Ho, readers! I should like to bring you news of the political contention between President Bush and the Democratic Congress, this time regarding the $178 billion defense funding bill that President Bush is threatening to veto unless a provision is removed that mandates a timetable for withdrawal from Iraq. The looming and not-unlikely threat of total military collapse and troop destruction should the Pentagon face a temporary shortfall of funding — e.g., forcing it to lay off certain civilian employees, cut back on boondoggle weapons programs, and/or pre-emptively strip our troops in the field of their weapons and abandon them to face certain death, is causing President Bush to pace worriedly around Washington waving his arms in the air and moaning, “OMG, OMG, can you believe what those irresponsible troop-haters in Congress are doing to our troops through no responsibility or input of my own?” even as our enemies, emboldened, cackle and scheme in their overseas tents and hovels. My understanding of the details of this story shall remain deniable, as I am given to hiding behind a gnomic scrim of grunts and vagueness in order to disguise my political extremism and rising paranoia. However, I recommend as notably relevant this commentary by the barely-literate crackpot Don Surber, who notes through elision and selective misstatement that Democrats in Congress, having been seized by a demented obsession to oversee Government funding even against the clear will of the President, seem literally and non-metaphorically to be attempting to destroy the US military:

Pink Christmas

Democrats seem hellbent on destroying the American military.

The refusal of Congressional Democrats to fund Iraq — something they promised they would do in the 2006 election season — may have a more sinister goal.

They seem to want to destroy the military.

They have told Defense Secretary Robert Gates to get the funding out of the existing military budget.

This amounts to a 10% funding cut for the American military.

And they dare say they support the troops?

Layoff notices are being sent to civilian personnel. No doubt such notices are being sent by civilian contractors

Too bad the military outlets here in Byrdland, and Harry Reid’s Nevada, and Massachusetts could not be shut down immediately. That might get the attention of the electorate.

Close Fort Drum and watch Hillary howl.

Military.com has the full story under the headline, “A Pink Christmas for Army Employees?“

The world will be less stable once the Democrats shrink the military.


Linked by Glenn Reynolds. Thanks.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.


Comments: 26

Tim (the other one)

What, no Don Surber picture ? C’mon Gavin, don’t be lazy. Give it up and update this mofo !


Ok, I’ll get to it in a bit (life calls)…


Horses for courses….. and all that.


From a further link in the chain of HehIndeedMan:

Also, available soldiers at Army installations could be called upon to perform security duty and other key tasks previously performed by civilians and contractors, Stanton said.

And now you see the reason for the screaming: The REMF’s may have to go fight this ‘war’ after all.


I hide behind a gnomic scrim of grunts and vagueness

Not sure why (“gnomic scrim,” maybe?) but I sure like that line.


I suggest that all further references by Reynolds to Surber be indicated by:

“Hail fellow, well met! Perchance to dream, nay, to pontificate upon weighty matters concerning the kingdom, for the serfs are restless. What say you?”

That pretty much covers their tenuous grasp of reality.


Dammit, Malignant Bouffant beat me to it. I love that line too.


…(life calls)…

You’ll have to wait for Saul to get out of the stall.


The fact is, Glenn Reynolds prose always beautiful and moving. The fact of the matter is, it’s poetic.


The bathroom line starts over there, Gary Ruppapooper.


Bouffant and Jacob both beat me to it.

But, dammit, if that doesn’t just sing:

…as I hide behind a gnomic scrim of grunts and vagueness…


Great minds, that, sadly, can afford but one thought among them.


Sounds like a kulturkampf battlefield decoration.
For Valor: the Gnomic Scrim, with Grunts and Vagueness.
One step up from the Stenographic Reredos of Anonymous Sources.


They seem to want to destroy the military.

If only!


Come to think of it, I think Debra Cagan was last year’s recipient of that reward…


Man, Surber didn’t let my comment stand. Now that’s just plain mean. After all, I only referred to him as almost as stupid as Bush, that’s not so bad right?

As for the Surber picture you’ve all been clamoring for, well here it is, you can thank me later .



I always thought Beaker was hilarious! Surber, not so much.

Tim (the other one)

Thanks a heap Humboldt ! You inspired me to head on over to read the comments at Don’s “place”.

That’s a big bowl of idiotic.


Umm, sorry Tim, I didn’t mean it, really, I didn’t.


Did anyone else see this on “60 Minutes”? I’m still just sick over it. It just keeps hitting me again and again how little we are able to just learn about what is going on in Iraq and just how much of Any Rooney’s eyebrows we get to see all the time.

Sorry, I’m usually ahead of most curves, but this one has caught back up to me. And feel free to smack me for having had my head in the “counterjihadi blog” sand yet again. I deserve it.


From one of Surber’s commenters:

We don’t want to close the military bases in the liberal states. When the American Civil War II starts, we want the troops close to where they will be needed. 😉

I guess that emoticon makes it funny & OK. Come a little closer sonny boy, I got your “American Civil War II” right here. Gotta love “the liberal states,” as if electoral college results indicate that any state is completely how the (ofren very slim) majority voted. Morans!!


“Ssso that Don Sssurber, has dissscovered our plans to stop GI JOE by ssstriking at military funding! Cursesss! But he shall not find out about our plans to activate the Gay Mexican Muslim Ray! This Hillary Commander sssswears!



When I read “Congress declares a pink Christmas,” I had high hopes that the story would be about the mass outing of the Republican legislative contingent. Imagine my disappointment.


My God, the nerve of these assholes.


They have told Defense Secretary Robert Gates to get the funding out of the existing military budget.

This amounts to a 10% funding cut for the American military.

Or in other words, he’s admitted that the Pentagon hasn’t budgeted for the cost of the fucking Iraq war, presumably because all the taxes we pay to support the military are just for pretty uniforms.


Of course Hillary gets Cobra Commander.

I dibs Batman for Edwards.


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