Shorter Commander Guy

President says a new intelligence report on Iran provides ‘a warning signal’

  • The fact that Iran hasn’t been working on nukes for the past four years makes them more dangerous than ever. Did I ever tell you about the time I wore a flight suit?

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.


 

Comments: 39

 
 
 

Option A: Bluster because he doesn’t want to look like an ass again in re: WMD.

Option B: Doesn’t really realize he’s wrong and maintains what he believes to be the case.

 
 

God in heaven, how many more days til this little pisher gets the heave-ho? 400-something?

Just not having to see his monkey face or hear his idiot voice anymore will be a relief.

 
 

Today I am glad I don’t have cable in my office. I don’t think I could have taken listening to that mouth-breather pretend to be an authority.

On the other hand, in the spring when the Yankees play a lot of early afternoon games during the week, I totally wish I had cable in my office.

 
 

At what stage of denial does an intervention become necessary. I realize no one wants to do it because of the personal dangers involved (internment is most likely a drag), but at some point someone has to realize that an unacceptable number of folks are getting hurt and it doesn’t appear that he’s of a ‘mind’ to stop. 2008 is going to be a truly scary year.

 
 

This man should be in a straight jacket.

 
 

I listened to the presser with a growing sense of amazement. He continued to say that Iran had to stop what they weren’t doing.

 
 

Bush Jr. just claimed in a national live press conference that he only saw the NIE (on Iran’s halt to nuclear weapons work in 2003) last week.

The photo connecting The Pet Goat to Bin Laden Determined To Strike In United States is more apt than at first glance seems.

But why would we expect the Super Awesome Commander Decider Guy to even claim to be reading NIE’s when they come out?

 
gbear at work sort of
 

Bush Jr. just claimed in a national live press conference that he only saw the NIE (on Iran’s halt to nuclear weapons work in 2003) last week.

Man, that’s damnation if it’s a lie and double damnation if it’s true. Wow.

 
 

Maybe it’s like the Last Days of Ronnie Ray-gun? You know, when his Alzheimer’s was obviously getting worse but everyone pretended like he was perfectly fine anyway? The Last Days of Chimpy McFlightsuit, and we’re seeing his psychoses finally spiraling out of control. It’s gonna be an ugly year.

 
 

IMHO, the GOP and warmonger spin machine is slipping. The timeline, at least as it’s being reported, is vague enough that the pro-Iraq war crowd can say “look — by invading Iraq, we sent a message that we won’t tolerate nuke programs … see, our invasion caused Iran to rethink its program”.

I’m surprised they haven’t jumped on that one.

Meanwhile if they do after I say this, we’ll know maybe some of the trolls here are well connected?

 
 

Maybe it’s like the Last Days of Ronnie Ray-gun?

Or Nixon. Interesting that of the last five Republican presidents – Nixon, Ford, Reagan, Bush I, Bush II – at least three of them (counting the current one) were clearly off their rails by the time they left office. That’s an impressive 60% rate of crazy!

 
 

Using the logic that up is down and white is black, then Bush has overall done a heck of a job.

 
 

Whatever you do, don’t tell them that our Overlord George Soros and Commandante Kos have actually hidden the non-existent Iranian nukes next to Saddam’s stash of imaginary chemical weapons under the White House just to make Dearest Leader look stupid…oops.

 
 

I thought we were at war with Eastasia?

 
 

Black is Black
I want my baby back
Grey is Grey
Since she went away
What can I do?
Cause I’z feeling blue.

 
Phil Moskowitz, Lovable Rogue
 

“Nixon, Ford, Reagan, Bush I, Bush II – at least three of them (counting the current one) were clearly off their rails by the time they left office. That’s an impressive 60% rate of crazy!”

Yet when asked by pollsters all claimed to be as sane as the next republican. Even saner.

 
 

DAS: Instapudding® was all over it yesterday.

http://instapundit.com/archives2/012462.php

(And boy, did he make a mess! har-har)

 
 

MzNicky–

413. If you use Firefox, go here for a daily count-down extension:

http://newprez.com/index.jsp?key=20071204AM

 
 

These people are beyond shame.

We have to keep our troops in Iraq because of all the violence.

We have to keep our troops in Iraq because the violence is way down.

We have to take a very aggressive stance against Iran because of their nuclear weapons program.

We have to take a very aggressive stance against Iran because they don’t have a nuclear weapons program.

Now, it’s all about preventing them from acquiring the KNOWLEDGE to start a nuclear weapons program.

Um, except most any physics student knows how to make a plutonium nuke…

mikey

 
Arky - Cthulusexual
 

Beorge Gush is the school yard bully who goes around asking kids if they want him to hit them. When they say No, he knocks them down. “Hur, hur! It’s Opposite Day!” He asks the next kid, the kid says Yes. He knocks them down. “Hur, hur, Opposite Day is over!”

Experience suggests that the only way to stop this sort of thing is to answer the question with a bop on the nose.

That’s an impressive 60% rate of crazy!

But if the recent Gallup Poll is any guide, they felt perfectly sane. And when you can create your own reality, that’s all that matters. Amirite?

 
 

The fact is, with Commander Cuckoo Bananas in charge of the USA, any other world leaders would *have* to be insane *not* to be trying to get a bomb.

 
 

And now for some bat-shit insanity from N-Pod: http://www.commentarymagazine.com/blogs/index.php/podhoretz/1474

//I entertain an even darker suspicion. It is that the intelligence community, which has for some years now been leaking material calculated to undermine George W. Bush, is doing it again. This time the purpose is to head off the possibility that the President may order air strikes on the Iranian nuclear installations. As the intelligence community must know, if he were to do so, it would be as a last resort, only after it had become undeniable that neither negotiations nor sanctions could prevent Iran from getting the bomb, and only after being convinced that it was very close to succeeding. How better, then, to stop Bush in his tracks than by telling him and the world that such pressures have already been effective and that keeping them up could well bring about “a halt to Iran’s entire nuclear weapons program”—especially if the negotiations and sanctions were combined with a goodly dose of appeasement or, in the NIE’s own euphemistic formulation, “with opportunities for Iran to achieve its security, prestige, and goals for regional influence in other ways.”//

God help us if these loons stay in power. I feel like the Ravens begging for the clock to run out on the Pats.

 
 

Today’s press conference was a total disaster for him. He lectured us about the ingredients of a nuclear bomb. Then he told us that he and Condi are ‘working the phones.’ Then he said that the NIE proved that Iran is more dangerous than ever and that he will never change his opinion. Then when asked about the Saudi gang rape case, he stumbled and finally came-up with a story about thinking about his daughters when he heard about the case….and then admitted he didn’t discuss the case with the Saudi king because “he knows where I stand on this.” And finally, he rambled about how he doesn’t appreciate other world leaders who kiss and tell (tell the media what they talk to GWB about on the telephone). He doesn’t aprpeciate that.

 
 

Jeepers, I don’t even know what to say. Is there anything this guy will not fuck up? Does anyone still like Bush? Anyone?

 
 

He said the only thing he knew about the NIE back in office was that there was “new information.” No one asked him, “Well, seeing as how you think World War III could start over this, did you ask what the new information was?” Instead, they just stared uncomfortably at the ceiling.

 
 

[…] I trust, they won’t disappoint you either. so go see what was said by Mr TBOGG and The Hon. Dr. St. Rev. Bradley S. Rocket, Esq, PhD, MD. When you’re shooting fish in a barrel, mercy killings are mercifully […]

 
 

Never underestimate the power of a vacuous bimbo to outbimbo theirselves, Just be thankful he doesn’t get as much media cred as he would if he also had tits.

 
 

“I have said Iran is dangerous, and the NIE doesn’t do anything to change my opinion about the danger Iran poses to the world.”

Or, put another way:
“I have said Iran is dangerous, and once I’ve said something I see no need to be influenced by all that silly reality shit that people keep making such a big thing about.”

It’s like being governed by a ten-year-old. Shit, it’s like being governed by a stupid ten-year-old.

 
 

Or, put another way:

“That is my opinion, and my further opinion is that Carthage must be destroyed.
She is a menace to Rome.”

 
 

This is very reminiscent of the runup to the Iraq war:

Bush: Saddam, give up your weapons of mass destruction or we will destroy you.
Saddam: Um, I don’t have any weapons.
Bush: Prove it.
Saddam: Um, I can’t prove a negative.
Bush: Disarm or perish.
Saddam: Well, I’m not armed.
Bush: OK, you chose “perish.”
Saddam: Uh-oh.

 
 

The press was all in a tither yesterday because Bush announced the press conference a day ahead of time, which – apparently – is unusual. Some resceduling of press briefings, too, and also a spiteful little bit of scheduling where they made the press freeze their buns off in the Rose Garden yesterday morning waitinf for a briefing. There was some speculation about the administration being in disarray about the NIE. But after listening to it this morning, it’s hard to understand what all the fuss is about.

First Bush lectured Congress about their “responsibility” and it was just like sitting in Assembly while the Principal lectured the kids about their behavior. You could visualize the eye-rolling and mimed blah-blah-blah-ing.

Then he lied about Iran and the NIE – nothing new – and then he lied about some more stuff. Pretty normal for a Bush press conference.

What was all the fuss about?

 
 

Oh well, since no one else mentioned it:

“The greatest thing about this man is he’s steady. You know where he stands. He believes the same thing Wednesday that he believed on Monday, no matter what happened Tuesday. Events can change; this man’s beliefs never will.”
Stephen Colbert

That’s why them people like ‘im, ’cause, he’s like, you know, so firm and resolute and all that sh*t.

 
 

The wingnut information organ is indeed on the fritz; there is internal palace strife on how to spin the NIE. One side is pissed that they just got their Iran war hard-on slapped down, The other side is thinking that since Iran doesn’t have a nucular program it is proof of shrubby’s humongous dick. If they don’t settle on the accepted narrative soon, we rubes just might figure out that we’ve been lied to all along. It’s a pickle, it is.

 
 

So what does the intelligence community gain from fucking over Bush?

 
 

Hysterical Woman said,
December 4, 2007 at 23:35
So what does the intelligence community gain from fucking over Bush?

Avoidance of another ill-conceived, poorly planned adventure that will cost blood and treasure in unimaginable amounts. The sane people would consider that reward enough.

 
Arky - Cthulhusexual
 

So what does the intelligence community gain from fucking over Bush?

The I.C. avoids being fucked over by Bush (again) when it (again) turns out the country we just bombed to bits has no WMD program.

I’m still waiting for someone at the CIA to “accidentally” send the WP & NYT all the files it gathered on Lil’ Bush’s when he was just the son of Bush Sr.

 
 

So what does the intelligence community gain from fucking over Bush?
Hysterical Woman, do not underestimate the level of anger and contempt for Bush & Cheney, felt by anyone who works in or has ever been associated with a three-letter agency. The insiders do tend to lean in the conservative direction, but the one thing they value most is competence and integrity. No. The two things they value most are competence, integrity and self-sacrifice. No. The three things…

They are not happy with the current climate where hard-won information is classified one day and declassified the next — or vice versa — depending on which will score political points.
They are not happy that security clearances have become just another kleptocrat lolly-scramble, something to be handed out like the contents of a piñata. You might recall that Bamford article in Rolling Stone about the activities of the Rendon Group. John Rendon, a private PR contractor, was casually handed a high-level security clearance so he could bullshit better about the need to invade Iraq.

Again, recall that incident not so long ago, when some private intelligence researcher had invested a great deal of time cultivating his own leads and assets… As a result he discovered a new bin-Laden video that had not yet been released. So the guy contacts the White House with his information to let the professionals follow up his leads fully. Of course 20 seconds later the White House has severed those leads by organizing a press conference in the hope of winning back a point or two in the opinion polls. CIA & FBI were rolling their eyes in exasperation that the guy had gone to the White House instead of them… of course Bush & co were happy to impair national security in the course of their own benefit… it’s their entire MO, what else did he expect them to do?

Just sayin’ that no-one in the three-letter agencies will be leaning over backwards to protect Bush from embarrassment.

 
 

“I have said Iran is dangerous, and the NIE doesn’t do anything to change my opinion about the danger Iran poses to the world.”

Since his opinions don’t come from facts, facts cannot alter them. Mr. Colbert was far too kind.

Shorter G.W. Bush: I won’t let you people use your ‘facts’ to take my shiny new war away from me this Xmas!

On the flip side, Mayor 9/11’s national security guy actually made a lick of sense:

“This time the purpose is to head off the possibility that the President may order air strikes on the Iranian nuclear installations.”

Yeah, revealing that Iran has no nuclear wapons program may indeed let the air out of any attempt to attack them. Then again, telling the truth always undermines whatever the Pods want, so they’re used to hating anyone who tells it.

Extra special bonus prize: Bush and Pod have made Vladimir Putin look like a great leader. Well, at least an ex-spy knows how to read intelligence. And Russia has far more to fear from a nuclear Iran than does the USA.

 
 

By W’s standards, I’m a supervillain because when I was a kid I made an aluminum foil mask to play Dr. Doom, and even though I don’t do that any more, every now and then I think about how cool it would be to put on an armored exoskeleton and tell Reed Richards to bring it if he’s hard enough. Groovy!

 
 

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