It is to LOL.

This Smith guy is a total moran. If he wants to fight Hezbollah and the other terrorists and use his Marine training (anybody looked into the veracity of that yet?), then he should sign up with Blackwater or one of the other mercen– er, military consultant outfits and get paid real hazard pay instead of playing “journalist.” How much do bloggers get paid for running around making shit up — er, “reporting” on events that (they saw something that sort of suggested a little bit if they squint just right might have) happened in the Middle East?

Smith is “the co-author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Understanding Intelligent Design.”

Now that’s some low-hanging fruit, right there …

This part of Smith’s bullshit weaseling really pisses me off:

Frankly, I’m not concerned with what Hezbollah assumes. Hezbollah is a terrorist organization, funded, trained, and equipped by the Islamic (Iranian) Revolutionary Guard Corps. My responsibility is not to concern myself with how Hezbollah perceives me, nor do I feel any compulsion to court them. They are the enemy as far as I’m concerned. My responsibility is to deliver the facts to my readers, which I have always done and will always do.

Guy, you’re just not a journalist.

He looks like the sort of limited-potential weasel Bush stocked the DOJ with.

The guy was just getting started. In addition to the string of “I see brown people” posts that were his downfall, Smith apparently also wrote about “infiltrating” enemy strongholds and concocted a bizarre story of a Bond-like “delayed acid-weapon” planted by terrorists under an anti-Hezbollah politician’s car, where it “ate through the chassis and caused the vehicle to basically break in half while he was driving.”

Is that a NWN gamer messing around with journalism?

Well, if all else fails, it looks like W. Thomas Smith, Jr. has a future as a Tim Wakefield impersonator.

Speaking of baseball, writing about baseball games might be more Smith’s speed. He can watch an inning, then report that, for example, the Marlins defeated the Padres 36-0, with the Marlins pitcher throwing a perfect game on 63 pitches, striking out 18.

Today’s local events that I’m reporting on although I only saw them as I was driving by:

1. Car dealership menaced by 20 foot tall gorilla. Sources not sure if it was of the inflatable variety.

2. Hundreds congregate at local school playground during daily terrorist meeting known as “recess”. Sources tell me it was a Hezbollah uprising, possibly followed by “dodgeball” soon thereafter.

3. “Tent sale” at home furnishing store. Sources tell me that people at these events are heavily armed and that the tents are used to hide “deals” of unknown firepower. I saw two men carrying a couch-shaped munitions locker to their van.

Are we going to be denied Smith’s eyewitness account of the assassination attempt on pro-democracy leader Ali Kazaam by a highly disciplined squad of al-Queda sex ninjas with laser implants in their boobs? What about his upcoming coverage of the attack of giant jihadi space worms on warlord Abu Abah Abee Abo’s Fortress of Solitude? Don’t we get to read his article on how Fred Thompson personally reanimated the corpse of King Farouk and bestowed it with incredible shape-shifting powers?

Meanwhile, for those who want to read the acid bomb story, here’s the link.

Smith may be a dipshit, but I do like his approach to journalism. Acid bombs! Yeah!

5,000 Hezbollah Gunmen Deploy to K-Lo’s Underpants

Cover me, Abdullah, I’m going in.

Don’t do it, Jalal! In the name of Allah, don’t

Abdullah. We hold these underpants in the name of jihad. We must go in.

Jalal, no! It is not only unclean, it is, well, really smelly.

Allah will protect me.

[Seconds later, Jalal reappears, retching and gagging]

Oh, Abdullah. These infidels are more evil than we were ever taught in madrassa.

Jalal, you have gloriously martyred yourself in Allah’s name. We won’t forget you. Um, you can’t hang around with us ever again, as no amount of bathing, even in the richest of camel spit will ever remove that funk. But we’ll tell your family you are certainly in heaven…

mikey

The fact is, your specululum of bias has encovered nothing, terrorists are here to infiltrate patriots, and make USA weak. It is liberals who rejoice at weakening of our boarders, even though they will be destroyed by the first wave of jihadist navy ariving on our shores. If we are not careful they may prevail through shear numbers, even if we have superior weapons, there are a billion jihadists, anfd at least 50million leftists in-country to give them aids and comforts.

Look who helped write this 2000 US News & World Report article:

With Franklin Foer and W. Thomas Smith Jr.

The fact is, trying to quibbel with the facts of this reporter hurts the troops and USA, he is doing a favor that the MSM is not while they attack freedom because they are owned by Hollywood and the leftistas, while trying to present the lies of others as truth, has backfired, because these lies do hurth the troops and USA, and they should be shut down for this, 1st amendment be dammed for we are at War.

With Franklin Foer and W. Thomas Smith Jr.

Heh. A pox on both your adjoining houses but not on other houses that are far more sensibly situated.

So you didn’t appreciate my earlier reporting of the terrorist army flooding into downtown Atlanta by the thousands?

I think Smith’s facial hair should be called a “mustn’tache”.

Jeebus, where did NRO find this guy.

Here’s a review of one of his books:

The Encyclopedia of the Central Intelligence Agency. By W. Thomas Smith, Jr. New York, NY: Checkmark Books, Facts-on-File, 2003. 282 pages.

An encyclopedia is defined as a comprehensive reference work containing full, complete, in-depth, thorough, wide-ranging, all-encompassing, accurate, exhaustive, articles on numerous aspects of a particular field, usually arranged alphabetically.17 Thomas Smith’s entry into the field falls short on nearly every count, save it is alphabetically arranged. A journalist and onetime adjunct professor of journalism at the University of South Carolina, Smith takes a less than scholarly approach to his task and begins by characterizing the CIA as “the government’s incarnation of the world’s oldest profession.”

The assortment of entries he has assembled is incomplete and filled with too many errors of fact. Examples of the latter include: saying that Churchill gave Sir William Stephenson the codename INTREPID (Churchill did not and INTREPID was not his codename); labeling Kim Philby a double agent who became a communist at Cambridge (both are incorrect); claiming that the “December 1975 issue of Counterspy published . . . the name, title, and home address of the Athens CIA Chief of Station (COS) Richard Welch;”18 identifying SMERSH as an assassination element of the KGB; claiming that FBIS is sometimes called the Foreign Broadcasting Intelligence Service and that it is the “CIA’s broadcast journalism arm;” calling Mossadegh the head of the de facto government of Iran (it was elected); stating that Jonathan Pollard applied to the CIA while in law school (he did not go to law school); describing Robert Hanssen as a double agent, claiming that his espionage career began in 1985 (it began in 1979), and failing to mention his GRU approaches; calling James Angleton the “unofficial founder of CIA CI” (nor was he the official founder, for that matter), and alleging that he was “allowed to bug the residences and office telephones of high ranking officials . . . as he saw fit;” and claiming that the Signal Intelligence Service began “decoding the [VENONA] messages on 1 February 1943” (that happened much later). Other entries leave one wondering why they were included–George Kennan, for one, though Thomas might have pointed out that it was Kennan who was US Ambassador in Moscow when the bug in the Great Seal of the United States was discovered in 1952.

Thomas omits many important defectors, for example: Yuri Artamonov (a.k.a. SHADRIN), Peter Deriabin (KGB), and Peter Popov (the first CIA Soviet GRU agent). Anatoli Golitsyn is mentioned in passing as “the defector who knew of Philby’s betrayal” (incorrect), but he is not in the index. Important agents are also omitted, Oleg Penkovsky being the most egregious example. The complete list of shortcomings is much longer. The volume has nice covers–perhaps the next edition will put more substance between them.

Hayden B. Peake is now my favorite book reviewer ever.

Actually, now I want to know where the CIA got a dry wit like Hayden Peake to do book reviews.

I mean: “Thomas Smith’s entry into the field falls short on nearly every count, save it is alphabetically arranged.”

He he.

a Bond-like “delayed acid-weapon” planted by terrorists under an anti-Hezbollah politician’s car, where it “ate through the chassis and caused the vehicle to basically break in half while he was driving.”

Pfft – that’s nothing new. The local Department of Public Works spreads this weapon liberally on all of our local streets several times each winter – sometimes as often as 3 or 4 times in the course of a single storm.

I will tell you this – that shit is powerful, and it will eat through the chassis.

…perhaps the next edition will put more substance between them.

Now that’s what we call wishful thinking.

The fact is, you liberals only care about the facts when faced with overwhelming spurious evidence of your wrongitude. Hundreds, if not thousands, of Syrian and Tajikistanian jihadistas have already infiltrated patriots at American rest-stop glory holes in the Heartland in an attempt to give them aids and comfort, and the MSM is ignoring it because they want the terrorists to win. W Thomas Smith wants America to win, so if he makes minor factual errors about the number or existence of armed militiamen he is a pious fraud whereas the Hollywood lefts are just frauds who should be shut down, and before you say anything about the first ammendment, if it’s such a great ammendment why did it have to be an ammendment and not a regular article of the constitution? The fact is, liberals have no answer to that.

The volume has nice covers–perhaps the next edition will put more substance between them.
More he he.

your specululum of bias
‘Specululum’ is good. If the speculum is cold enough, I’d probably ululate too.

I’m told that moving to upstate NY has shortened the life of my car dramatically.

I don’t need any more broken expensive items.

Hey, enough with this “wingnut face mullet” shit. The Van Dyke beard deserves far better than that. Let those motherfuckers have the molester mustache.

Can’t… stop… posting… links…

Family Security Matters is defending him now:

“American Mercenaries of Hezbollah“

Under the circumstances, it would be irresponsible not to specululum.

That book review is awesome. I was laughing out loud (something I don’t often do) when he quoted that “world’s oldest profession” thing.

That’s some first-class slapstick writing*.

* Mr. Smith, of course.

I just can’t wrap my head around how fucking stupid Ratboy (seriously, just look at that face) must be. How the hell could he think he could get away with this? It’s not as if he’s the only reporter in Lebanon. 5,000 gunman tromping around Beirut isn’t exactly difficult to check up on. The Repubs seem to get lower everyday.

How the hell could he think he could get away with this?

I’d guess he looked at the last seven years of CheneyCo. and decided to dream big.

…I described a “sprawling Hezbollah tent city” near the Lebanese parliament as being occupied by “some 200-plus heavily armed Hezbollah militiamen” … Did I physically see and count 200 men carrying weapons? No. If I mistakenly conveyed that impression to my readers, I apologize.

Stupid readers! Getting all impression-ed with stuff! Why oh why must Mr. Journalist Man be so misunderstood? ::sob:: All he wants is the truth! Just give him some truth!

Sign up for FSM’s updates.

Heh. Heh. Heh.

I laughed so hard, specululum came out my nose.

One of the best ways to slow acid down is to put it on some metal directly, like say a chassis. The acid will be like- ‘whoa, what’s this?’, and it takes a really long time for it to figure out it can just eat right through it.

The fact is, your specululum of bias has encovered nothing, terrorists are here to infiltrate patriots, and make USA weak.

I’ve said it before, but I’m becoming more convinced; Gary’s a nice young man in Bangalore making good money working through a flow-chart manual of phrases.

How the hell could he think he could get away with this?

Um, hello, he works for NRO.

I think AJB wins the thread for pointing us to our buddy’s brutal takedown by a CIA book reviewer.

You liberals are a bunch of treasonous dogs who are actively rooting for America to lose the war on terror while you spit in the face of returning war veterans with your anti-war protest marches. If I was President Johnson during the Vietnam War I would have crushed the hippie movement as soon as it started, for I would have ordered the National Guard to open fire on the traitorous demonstrations and Commanded them to leave no one alive. The modern day left wouldn’t even exist if I had been President during the Vietnam War they all would have been crushed and America would still be like it was in the 1950s, patriotic and prosporous.

Vin Scully–

(Which one? Via the Dodgers, or Yale?)

Yeah, that “Complete Idiot’s Guide to Understanding Intelligent Design” turned my brain into a tesseract (sp?) and caused my uber-soul to be catapulted into the 8th dimension. I’m back, yes, and ten minutes before it happened, and still I’ll never forget it. “Redundant” doesn’t begin to.. oh never mind.

Well, if all else fails, it looks like W. Thomas Smith, Jr. has a future as a Tim Wakefield impersonator.

Well played.

add a few freckles and he could be Alfred E. Neuman.

actually, he looks more like Mickey Mouse…or one of them Disney rodents.

“delayed acid-weapon”

So that’s what caused Snuffy Smith to hallucinate 50,000 hippyzebola fighters, dancing the can-can on tank turrets while juggling nuclear warheads.

The modern day left wouldn’t even exist if I had been President during the Vietnam War they all would have been crushed and America would still be like it was in the 1950s, patriotic and prosporous.

Huh, well, since hippies invented PC’s, I guess you’d prefer they not exist.

Doctorb Science said,
Under the circumstances, it would be irresponsible not to specululum.

Corrected:
Under the circumcisions, it would be irresponsible not to specululum.

“If I was President Johnson during the Vietnam War I would have crushed the hippie movement as soon as it started, for I would have ordered the National Guard to open fire on the traitorous demonstrations and Commanded them to leave no one alive. The modern day left wouldn’t even exist if I had been President during the Vietnam War they all would have been crushed and America would still be like it was in the 1950s, patriotic and prosporous.”

You have a rich fantasy life my friend.

Doctorb Science said,
Under the circumstances, it would be irresponsible not to specululum.

Corrected:
Under the circumcisions, it would be irresponsible not to specululum.

Under the circumcisions, it would be irresistable not to specululum.

I would have ordered the National Guard to open fire on the traitorous demonstrations and Commanded them to leave no one alive.

Is anybody else thinking of the creepy Eddie Albert warden at the end of “The Longest Yard”?

KILL HIM. SHOOT HIM!

Game Ball….

Hiss Tor Ree….

mikey

Smith takes a less than scholarly approach to his task and begins by characterizing the CIA as “the government’s incarnation of the world’s oldest profession.”

This is the first time I’ve heard the CIA are a bunch of hookers.

Is anybody else thinking of the creepy Eddie Albert warden at the end of “The Longest Yard”?

He was a good bastard.

Under the circumcisions, it would be irresistable not to specululum.
These are serious matters. We should not take short-cuts.

America would still be like it was in the 1950s, patriotic and prosporous.

God. I read that as “phosphorus”.

You have a rich fantasy life my friend.

You know what would take a rich fantasy life? Imagining that 5,000 Hezbollah gunmen could come close to filling K-Load’s underpants.

You liberals remind me of a high school history teacher I had during the height of the Cold War who was an apologist for the Russian Communists. She used to say, “oh their not so bad, at least they get free health care and housing”. She would always blame America for everything bad going on around the world during the Cold War, while she said “the Russians had the best interests of the people of the world at heart.”

“America would still be like it was in the 1950s…”

Yeah, I mean whatever happened to girdles?

She used to say, “oh their not so bad…”

As bad as she was, your English teacher was worse.

I read that as “phosphorus”.

A couple years ago I wrote a blog post about the nonsense around White Phosphorus. Thing is, I mis-spelled the word “phosphorus”.

So now, everybody who googles it with the specific mis-spelling winds up on my blog. Hee hee. Wish I could say I did it on purpose…

mikey

Yeah, I mean whatever happened to girdles?

Well, I will say that they’re easier and somewhat more, er, stimulating than 24 Hour Fitness…

What?

mikey

I call fake Saul.

Why? You think he hates pie?

That’s unamerican.

mikey

So that’s what caused Snuffy Smith to hallucinate 50,000 hippyzebola fighters, dancing the can-can on tank turrets while juggling nuclear warheads.

Thanks for that: I laughed so hard I nearly coughed up a lung.

For this afternoon’s performance the roles of Saul and Gary will be performed by an understudy. The same one.

Under the circumcisions, it would be irresistable not to specululum.

Huh. You know, that reminds me of my foreskin. *sniff*
Miss ya buddy! Hope you’re doin’ ok!

Yeah, like you care or something.

Dick.

I’m a LAMPSHADE!!

Dammit…

Confidential to Bradrocket.

It’s only the second quarter.

Hell, babe, anything can happen.

Have another steel reserve.

Hee hee hee…

mikey

Shorter Gavin

Everything bad that happens in the world is America’s fault.

Don’t tell anyone I’m wearing my mother’s old panty girdle.

“pedestrian’s foreskin said – I’m a LAMPSHADE!!”

Yes, but when you rub him, he turns into a function tent capable of sheltering up to 200 guests in comfort and luxury, with space for a nice parquet dance floor and a decent-sized band.

Shorter Mikey

Conservatives are stupid just because I don’t agree with them.

I’ll put a girdle round about the earth In forty minutes. Unfortunately it will tale a little longer to find a pair of fishnet stockings in the right size.

the secret underground Mujahideen tunnel that leads from Algiers to Jakarta

I’d get damned claustrophobic going through that. And I bet it’s leaky like the Tip O’Neill.

I might be able to help you out Puck.

Shorter Herr Doktor Bimler

I’m gonna get drunk tonight and go throw a trebucket.

MrWonderful – I didn’t even know there was a Yale Vin Scully! I am, sadly, not the real Vin Scully. If I were, I suppose I’d just post links to pictures of adorable children in oversized baseball caps and leave comments like “Doesn’t he just light up a room!”

Man, I miss living in SoCal …

Dude, has Bimler even commented on this thread.

Saul has officially been absorbed into the Greater Ruppertia Complex of Fake Trolls.

An Assassination Attempt
AL BATROUN (San Stephano Resort) – Had a marvelous dinner last evening. Also enjoyed drinks, music, dancing, and hot monkey love with Toni Basil . But as I arrived here at the San Stephano, I was informed that earlier in the day, assassins attempted to take the life of a man I’ve been working with closely here for the past couple of weeks.

Ronald Reagan, brought Big Government to its knees and stared down the Soviet Union.

More to come on this.

Shhh, Simba.

Bimlers operatin on the downlow.

Keep opsec here, dammit…

mikey

he CIA is “the government’s incarnation of the world’s oldest profession.” Pretty funny! the word that puzzles me is ‘incarnation’. Incarnation? Rebirth? Speculum?

There is a pattern here: I think Gary and Saul are WOMEN!

I am not! I suffer from a rare and fascinating condition called micropenis.

the Herr Doctor is with us, even when he is not with us. Think about that.

wow, I was just going to post “Shorter Saul” but then didn’t.

I’ve got a gut feeling Herr Doktor Bimmler’s around here somewhere. After all, isn’t there a little Herr Doktor Bimmler in all of us? In fact, you might say we just ate Herr Doktor Bimmler and he’s in our stomachs right now!

Wait. Scratch that one.

“the government’s incarnation of the world’s oldest profession.”

so the CIA is really a government-run brothel? I hope they provide health benefits.

i haz a flava?

Shorter Saul:

Oh, never mind, there is no one shorter than Saul.

Really, the car-split-in-half thing was just a stunt for Hezbollah Candid Camera. Can’t you westerners take a fucking joke?

Jeez.

The fact is, Israel is absolutely justified in attacking Iran, Hezbollah or any other terrorist entitiy that threatens her existence. If Iran ever comes close to developing nukes, you better believe Israel is going blow them up just like she did in 1981 to Iraq’s nuclear weapons program.

She’s gonna blow them Saul?

Get your mind out of the gutter pal. Seriously. This is Israel we’re talking about her, not some cheap Middle-Eastern crack whore.

“you better believe Israel is going blow them…”

I think a hand job would be fine.

If Iran ever comes close to developing nukes,

Oh, so you agree that Iran is not currently a threat.

Another confidential to Bradrocket.

Yikes, dood.

mikey

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MKULTRA

“delayed acid-weapon… ate through the chassis and caused the vehicle to basically break in half while he was driving.”
It really happened!! There is photographic proof!

PLEASE stop posting this guys picture. Last time you did we got 5″ of anthrax in St. Paul. I just heard that another 5″ is on the way for tomorrow and THAT SAME GUY’S FACE

IS AT THE TOP OF THE POSTING!!! Sorry I got so rattled that I hit the wrong key. I’m not ready for all this anthrax yet.

We don’t have any anthrax falling in Los Angeles.

But the squirrels are still running wild in the basement.

caused the vehicle to basically break in half while he was driving.”

I once had a Fiat 124 that did this exact thing.

It’s not exactly the same thing, but I once got on my scoot in Lagunitas, ate a hit of acid AND two quaaludes, and when I pulled into my driveway I was driving a dodge dart.

Never did figure out what happened to that scooter…

mikey

I thought a Dodge Dart was just two Vespas strapped together.

“If I was President Johnson during the Vietnam War I would have crushed the hippie movement as soon as it started, for I would have ordered the National Guard to open fire on the traitorous demonstrations and Commanded them to leave no one alive.”

I agree.

Kent State should have been times 200, that would have shut the hippies up and we woulda won Vietnam. These days, leftists would do well to think before the do any inane protests, ot they will be smacked down much harder. National Security matters in a terrorist age. DO NOT FORGET.

[Gavin adds: I can think of one thing.]

*COUGH!!*

Warn a guy, please!

#

I thought a Dodge Dart was just two Vespas strapped together.

Ma fambly made many (harrowing) summer vacation trips (as seen on National Lampoon’s Vacation moovie) from D.C. to Jekyll Island, Ga. in a Dodge Dart.

Always got us there and back, but I recall it needed more powerful air conditioning. Or some, anyways.

Maybe Gary Ruppert’s half right. Maybe terrorists aren’t here to infiltrate patriots, but rather they’re here to infiltrate THE Patriots, which is why they’re about the choke against Baltimore.

You know, I can get a few laughs from Saul and Gary – or whoever’s writing their material right now – but at times it just fucking floors me that they are saying, “Yeah, it would have been better if the government should have killed American citizens for expressing their rights back in the 60’s, and I long for the day the government no longer restrains itself from killing its own citizens.”

I know that whoever is writing the script for Gary and Saul are trying to provoke some kind of stupid flame war, but it’s really sad to think that there are actually human beings out there who would write the kind of shit that Gary and Saul write.

I suppose it’s somewhat of a consolation knowing that its possible that instead of being actual human beings, Gary and Saul are instead typing monkeys or robots, but it’s still fucking depressing to even contemplate a human being so deranged.

Oh well. enough seriousness. I’m having another glass of Cardinal Zin zinfandel, and I don’t care how much of a headache I have in the morning.

We shall see how it ends, Seitz.

26-24

27-24

Kent State should have been times 200

You only had to have been a college student in Ohio back then to realize how fucking vile this statement is.

Gary and Saul need to have their Human Being membership cards revoked.

“Gary and Saul need to have their Human Being membership cards revoked.”

Actually, both cards have been voluntarily relinquished.

And the Patriots…and the Pats…go to a commercial while waiting for a review…but of course baseball is boring…now we’ll never hear the end of this…0:08 left..oh, just a couple yds.

toughest game of the season, and I can’t imagine how the players feel

Hey, I was rooting for the Pats. I hate the Colts AND the 1972 Dolphins.

Brian Billick might want to just go right to his car and avoid the whole locker room thing.

I know that whoever is writing the script for Gary and Saul are trying to provoke some kind of stupid flame war, but it’s really sad to think that there are actually human beings out there who would write the kind of shit that Gary and Saul write.

You mean those cartoon humanoids who scribble for Fred Hiatt at the “liberally-biased” Washington Post?

Gary and Saul need to have their Human Being membership cards revoked.

They can’t lose what they never had.

Fake soldiers and Ruppert’s wanking.
He’s finally off his meds.

Next summer we’ll hear him praying:
More dead in Ohio.
More dead in Ohio.

Just ignore them. They’re juveniles trying to get your goat. Their statements are too stupidly outrageous. Couple days of no responses & they’ll be gone, tempting as it is to knock down & stomp all over their inane statements.

The fact is, Gary and I are right, the hippies were a bunch of treasonous dogs who should have been punished for thier anti-American pro-communist agenda.

It IS kinda funny, though. “Support the troops” assholes encouraging american soldiers to murder american citizens for exercising the very rights american soldiers have died for centuries defending their rights to exercise…

Does your head hurt yet?

mikey

Does your head hurt yet?

If I drink any more of this zinfandel it will.

PLEASE stop posting this guys picture.

More Smith pics.

Natures way of telling you it’s time to switch to weed…

mikey

Listening to the soundtrack of the b’way show “Light in the Piazza.” Whew.

I don’t care. Another glass of zinfandel, s’il vous plait.

Anyone who gives aid and comfort to the enemy, of which anti-war demonstations are, deserves to be punished accordingly. The Commander in Chief has the authority to crush dissidents during a time of war such as the one we are in. You liberals are all a bunch of treasonous dogs.

Giving aid and comfort to the enemy during a time of war is treason the penalty for which is death.

The fact is, Gary and I are engaged.

Another cronic case of name stealing I see. Us Conservatives are heterosexual the way God intended all men to be.

Except for when they engage in gay sex.

Women are allowed to do whatever they like, provided I’m allowed to watch and they don’t kick my ass when they find me peeking through their windows.

The fact is, I’m the real Saul and I’m sick of these impostors stealing my schtick.

You can ask Gary R. He’d know my schtick anywhere.

There is absolutely no proof that any prominent Republican has engaged in gay sex. Those rumors about Larry Craig are just that rumors and hearsay. Larry Craig is a patriot who has one of the most Conservative voting records in Congress and is happily married.

Ummmmmmm . . . am I the only one whose gaydar goes off like a fucking fire alarm when I see that picture?

I’m actually a dyke who likes to suck the sweet smelling soft breasts of other women.

I secretly had a lesbian affair with Hillary Clinton.

Shhhh! Don’t tell anyone.

g, you should really ask God to help you about that lesbian thing. You don’t want to go to hell do you?

Who doesn’t!

My smoking-hot, beetheaded, invalid wife just had twins and hasn’t moved in a week. Cut me some slack, alright?

Update: some say I am not the model for Muir’s most excellent character. Check the beard people.

This just in: contrary to what the MSM say, Poppy Bush does not hate broccoli, especially when served with my creamy, Lebanese-inspired velveeta cheese-food sauce.

Update: Some say President Reagan is dead. This is clearly untrue, just had lunch –

Crostini with Sun-Dried Tomato Tapenade and Velveeta Cheese
Endive with Smoked Trout and Herbed Velveeta
Sorrel Vichysoisse
Wild Beaver Ravioli with Beaver Broth, Creamed Rampss, and Velveeta Parmesan
Peanut Crusted Cornfish with MoganDavid Velveeta Sauce and Broccoli Velveeta Flan
Vanilla Brioche and English Velveeta Bread Pudding

-with the man yesterday in Beirut.What an insoiration he is

Update: I may have inadvertantly mischaracterized my lunch with President Reagan, the damn lying arabs apparently served us spinach vichysoisse rather than sorrel.

Update: President Reagan has agreed to place several hundred armed -but-with-no-ammo Marines near the Beirut airport and invade a small Carribean island in response to this insult.

More to come

The funny thing is the troll doesn’t know the half of it.

Baron Davis can kick saul’s ass…

mikey

I’m oh so glad my sapphire is a star!

Can the brightest brooch
Shield me from reproach?
Can the purest diamond purify my name?

Some say I may be making this shit up and posting drunk, theyare calling me a fantabulist or some shit. Clearly not truw, and i can too speel wrods.

Geena Davis can kick Saul’s ass.

The fact is, if it wasn’t for us Patriotic Americans living in the Heartland, the terrorists would have already one. So you liberals go back to smoking your pot and bong and leave that “war stuff” to real men, Conservatives. Ok?

Not me, but I’ve seen too many W. Ulysses Elvis Grant Thomas Smith, Jrs slouching around in Confederate Flag t-shirts and Git R Done baseball caps with a possessive arm draped over chain-smoking pregnant girls who look to be somewhere between 12 and 47.

The first time you look in his eyes you think there’s no one at home. A second look reveals there is someone at home and that crazy muthafucka hasn’t had a bath in years because that would mean he’d have to set down his best and only friend: A sawed-off shot gun.

A third look and you’ll probably need to kick his ass because numbnuts will think you’re checking out his lady and want to know whut yer lookin’ at.

A diamond necklace played the pawn
Hand in hand some drummed along

You are the reason
I’ve been waiting all these years
Somebody holds the key
I’m near the end, and I just ain’t got the time
Oh, and I’m wasted, and I can’t find my way home

–Blind Faith

hey lazy bums!

Get on the NIE story already–a wingnuttia gold mine

http://instapundit.com/archives2/012462.php

Here’s Glenn saying “actually, if you stop and think about it, and forget about all the lies the conservative blogosphere put out about Iran having nucular bombs, this report actually shows that we were right all along.”

You can’t sit down right,
Cuz you jeans are too tight,
And your lucky its ladies night.

With your big empty purse,
Every week it gets worse,
At least your breasts cost more than hers.

OK – have I neutralized the imposter troll?

If it is wrong to edit the Greasemonkey kill script, then I don’t want to be right.

Try again… If it is wrong to edit the greasemonkey script, then I don’t want to be right.

Latest report on avowed heterosexual senator Larry Craig.

Eight men claim sexual encounters with Idaho senator

…including Ted Haggard’s escort…

..in a statement e-mailed to The Associated Press on Sunday, the senator said the newspaper’s report was “completely false” and he accused the paper of careless journalism. “It is unfortunate that the Idaho Statesman has chosen to continue to lower itself to the standards of what can best be described as tabloid journalism,” Craig said in the statement.

Statesman Editor Vicki Gowler said the newspaper spent several months checking the backgrounds and details of the men’s stories.

Maybe if you weren’t living a tabloid life, Larry, you wouldn’t have to keep confirming your heterosexuality to the nation and your own party (the one that hates homosexuals).

I like pie!

Better link:
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2229/2085334127_00d2e141a6_o.jpg

Shorter Larry Craig:

Why do all these men keep sucking my cock?

mikey

Don’t blame me–Smut Clyde brought it up:

http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2007/12/if-loving-you-i.html

And aren’t we WAYYYY overdue for the Killer Kitten Minions to make an appearance? Maybe they could kick some troll ass for us, hmmm?

Geena Davis can kick Saul’s ass.

Interestingly, I just licked acid off a car undercarriage with Geena last week in Beirut, Whatan insperation she is. She can shhot an arrow thru the heart of any lying hezbolla arab at 400 yards without even unbuttoning her blouse.

Update: later she unbuttoned her blouse just for me.

Maybe they could kick some troll ass for us, hmmm?

Too late. Steven Hawking came by a while ago and just TORE saul up.

It was a sight to see…

mikey

Oh, c’mon, make with the kittens, will ya? Don’t make me go to other sites to get what I need . . . .

Oh, the visual I’m getting on that one, mikey.

That’s going to keep me giggling for a while . . . .

Steven Hawking …

Funny you should mention Steve. Just last week I had a threeway with him and that hot chick with the aphost0phe who’s name i can never remember. In Beirut. Ronny was there too, but he just watched.

Update: some are still claiming that President Reagan is dead. While I admit that he did just sit there and watch as me nad Steve went at like pornstars it with that hot apostrophe chick and he did never touch his velveeta sandwich (crusts removed) he was decidedly NOT dead.

News just in (from Huffington Post via Alternet):

Aides Give President Bush A Makeover For 2008

President Bush plans to use the next two weeks to defuse fights with Congress over the economy, laying the groundwork for a 2008 strategy aimed at assisting GOP candidates early on and improving his image at home and overseas, according to two senior White House officials.

Why am I seeing a whole bunch of child stars who’ve had a makeover in a sad attempt to garner some adult roles? Or is Bush going to get a funky new haircut and groovy new threads? Have his colours done, maybe? Or just have a TV show where a bunch of experts get stuck into him about how pathetically wrong he is in just about every possible way?

More news from HuffPo:

Soaring Euro May Force European Plane Maker Airbus To Move Production To America

Airbus, the European plane maker, is considering plans to relocate production to a new plant in Alabama and other parts in the dollar zone because of the effects of the soaring euro, it emerged yesterday.

I love this. Outsourcing to India is so 15 minutes ago: the savviest entrepeneurs now move their plants to America!

Well, a peep @ Smiff’s site, kindly provided above by Linkmeister J—, shows why Fascist Security Matters is defending him & claiming it’s a Hezbollah smear job. He works for them. Think he’s in favor of a takeover by Bush?

Funny you should mention Arriana, just last week me and Chuck Norris knocked back a fresh sack of velveeta and rode her like a pony. In Beirut.
Then me and Ronny met with Hezbolla leaders and tore down the wall Mr Gorbechev.

Oh great, now we’re in the “dollar zone,” & it’s not a good place to be. Count your blessings, Q the QQ & others not “here.”

P. S.: They specifically say Alabama ’cause of so-called “right to work” laws that make union organization even more difficult than it usually is.

Oh great, now we’re in the “dollar zone,” & it’s not a good place to be. Count your blessings, Q the QQ & others not “here.”

Dude, all kidding aside, it ain’t gonna be a “good place to be” anywhere in the US soon. Youall are about to see what made your grandparnts generation “The Greatest”, Depression and quite possibly World War. Enjoy.

Update: I personaly know Eisenhower, have lunch with him regularly. What an inspiraion he is.

And aren’t we WAYYYY overdue for the Killer Kitten Minions to make an appearance? Maybe they could kick some troll ass for us, hmmm?

They are making careful preparations.

The fact is, Kill All Democrats.

The fact is, Kill All Democrats.

Bwahaaa, how much diffence a decade makes. Just 10 years ago we needed the inbreds and the retards to vote against their best interests, but now we have consolidated our whatevers you little people are fucked. Gary and Saul, meet Quatesh and Bouffount, you’ll be neighbors soon. living in cardboardboxes under a highway overpass. If you are lucky I might drive by and throw you a penny.

You’d think that as an Orthodox Rabbi Saul would know there’s no Biblical prohibition on *women* getting it on together.

The fact is, all youse are screwed, on account of we got you to vote for dumb crap about guys what kiss guys and not burning the flag, and also for giving all your money to us leaving you broke and in the poorhouse, which is where you will be.

Update: I personaly know Eisenhower, have lunch with him regularly. What an inspiraion he is.

Striking a good balance between style, performance, and battery life, the Dell Inspiraion 1720 is an impressive desktop replacement.

Can I just say that, my face gets all sad when you talk about “wingnut face mullets”? Because I pretty much have one.

But I don’t look like a rodent, thankfully.

I can’t imagine anything that gives more aid and comfort to the enemythan seeing people like Gary and Saul and Kevin, and realizing how STUPID we are as a people.

I mean, look at how bin Laden took advantage of American stupidity on Sept. 11, 2001. The Bush administration, egged on by thousands of Garys, Sauls and Kevins, did exactly what bin Laden wanted before – by ignoring all the warning signs – and after – by doing every thing wrong and making America look weak and stupid.

Nice going, guys!

But the Republican Party thanks you because exploiting people’s fear in a nation of bed-wetters is the only way they know how
to “govern,” as they call it.

Worst fake Gary ever. He even calls himself Garry (two Rs) Rupert (one P) in one post.

I miss Gay Rupert.

This is a lovely story but any more, any more at all, about K-Lo’s underpants and that’s it. It’s not that I’ll support NRO but I refuse to hear any more about any Republican’s underwear. Do. Not. Like. Imagine if Althouse tries to argue with this tread? Lordy, I do not want to hear her defending K-Lo’s underwear. I don’t want to read any sentences that Althouse writes with the word “underwear.” Imagine if it goes meta. Please. Mercy.

Ann Althouse’s underwear. Now we’re talking!!

gah!

Shorter Larry Craig:

mikey

Perfect.

Atheist, it can never be a wingnut face mullet on someone who isn’t a wingnut.

Here’s the thing: appearances we might find unattractive on people we don’t like become amazingly attractive on people we like. I mean, I dunno – is it just me? I always think my friends are just incredibly hot.

Jillian, I know several men with that goatee thing goin’ on, and they’re several of the sexiest men I know. Doesn’t hurt that they’re smart as all hell, and politically lower left (on the political compass).

Oh, and funny. Funny is sexy.

K-Lo wears those big white cotton briefs. Only hers have the elastic all wornout and tearing off.

Sure enough. You posted Smith’s picture last weekend and we had an anthrax attack on Saturday. You post Smith’s picture yestereday and anthrax has started falling here again and isn’t supposed to stop until tomorrow. Smith’s picture is a pox upon the midwest. If you’re going to write about him in the future, please post fluffy puppy pictures (or anything else) instead. Thanks for your consideration.

gbear

I knew someone would ask about my underwear. I prefer red panties, because they contrast really nicely with my milky white thighs.

I have pictures somewhere…

oh and I always like to stuff them with egg salad because it keeps me moist.

mooooiiiiiiisssstit tit tit

*belch*

If it is wrong to edit the greasemonkey script, then I don’t want to be right.

That’s a goodie, but I prefer the classics.