Shorter K-Lo
Posted on December 3rd, 2007 by Brad
- Our only mistake in the W. Thomas Smith matter was trusting those shifty, conniving sand people.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.
UPDATE: Y’know what really makes this galling? Think about why we’re in Iraq right now. Because Saddam Hussein was allegedly on the verge of making a ton of nookuler weapons and becomin’ TEH NEXT HITLER!!!! In other words, because our government lied and exaggerated about its enemies. The wingnuts’ lack of self-awareness is epic.
Fixed.
You have captured perfectly the gestalt of K-Lo.
Bravo!
the context that Smith was operating in an uncertain environment where he couldn’t always be sure of what he was witnessing, and the caveats that he filled in the gaps by talking to sources within the Cedar Revolution movement and the Lebanese national-security apparatus, whose claims obviously should have been been treated with the same degree of skepticism as those of anyone with an agenda to advance.
So, he didn’t know what he was looking at, and he just ate up what the Lebanese government told him, huh?
Something tells me he’s up for a spot on CNN with Kurtz.
And see, this is the same shit that got us into Iraq. You will always find people who will tell you what you already want to believe. But that’s NOT JOURNALISM.
Is smith a fabulist, or a willing dupe?
I have neither the time nor the journalistic background to determine who is correct.
The fact is, you liberals are looking for any exuse to support the islamo-facsits and oppose America. You are all a bunch of treasonous dogs.
Would this be one of the Arab sources, with the tendency to lie and exaggerate about enemies? Or is this some other, totally trustworthy source? And was this source able to provide some pointers on how to distinguish the Arab tendency to lie and exaggerate about enemies from everybody else’s (including the U.S. government’s) tendency to lie and exaggerate about enemies?
Shorter K-Lo:
heh heh. Well, that would be short indeed. Let’s try this again:
Shorter K-Lo:
* I don’t know how to do my job.
Yup. That about sums up the NRO.
And this is just lil’ ol’ me but do you think it crossed Jackalopez’s tiny mind that sneering about those lying Ay-rabs might make it a tad difficult for Snuffy Smith or any other NROporter to do any further work in the country?
The fact is, Conservative publications such as NRO, the Weekly Standard and the Wall Street Journal are needed to balance the left-wing bias in most major periodicals and newspapers such as the New York Times and Time Magazine.
Yet another shorter K-Lo:
Peter Principle? What’s that? (I hope it involves Mitt’s body parts!)
Man, it’s like the trolls aren’t even trying anymore.
The Christian Serpent
A RATTLESNAKE came home to his brood and said: “My children, gather
about and receive your father’s last blessing, and see how a Christian dies.”
“What ails you, Father?” asked the Small Snakes.
“I have been bitten by the editor of a partisan journal,” was the
reply, accompanied by the ominous death-rattle.
I can’t believe the editor even let such a nakedly racist statement be published at The Corner.
Oh, wait, she IS the editor.
She gets a C+ for effort. Still, she fails Journalism 101.
Saul, maybe you would be better off on the road to Damascus. You might see the light.
J.S. Actual trolls have become so fattened on Cheetos, Mallowmars and Mt. Dew they can’t reach their keyboards
But a wise troll foresaw this tragic eventuality and could not bear the thought of an Internet free of assholes. So his last act before his chair collapsed was to dedicate a server to running one program that would spit out random keyword-triggered trolleries.
Really. I read it on NRO.
Look, here’s the K-Lo/Wingnut position. Clip and save:
When THEY do it, it’s “lying.”
When WE do it, it’s “an honest mistake.”
When THEY do it, they’re “naive dhimmicrats enabling the enemies of freedom.”
When WE do it, we’re “too trusting of our sources.”
When THEY do it, they “should perhaps be investigated for treason.”
When WE do it, we “perhaps should have caveated more.”
Clear?
So his last act before his chair collapsed was to dedicate a server to running one program that would spit out random keyword-triggered trolleries.
Ahh. LIke Skynet for trolling. All we have to do is get a T1000 and some heavy explosives, find that goddam server and take ‘er down?
Let’s roll…
mikey
“more context and caveats”
phrase of the day!
“So his last act before his chair collapsed”
you forgot, “while mumbling ‘I like pie!'”
for those newly curious, this is really quite adorable:
http://author.nationalreview.com/bio/?q=MjE3Mw==
her credentials are staggering — staggering, I say.
you forgot, “while mumbling ‘I like pie!’”
At least an alligator got a meal out of the whole affair, though his poor arteries will never be the same…
Given that Blogtopia™ (h/t to skippy) happily refers to Jonah Goldberg as the doughy pantload on a regular basis, I think it only fair that the fair damsel in question be henceforth known as “K-Load”.
From K-Lo’s bio page, referenced above:
“Before standing athwart history at National Review…”
“athwart”? “athwart??
Assuming she’s not using this word in the nautical sense, my dictionary’s definition No. 3—”perversely; awry; wrongly”—seems applicable.
Her whole bio looks like a page from The Onion, including her photo.
I don’t need to have self awareness to know that my mental health, iq, and physical prowess are superior to all y’all.
Everything I say is a lie.
Except that.
Blame Bill Buckley for that “atwhart”:
“… if NATIONAL REVIEW is superfluous, it is so for very different reasons: It stands athwart history, yelling Stop, at a time when no one is inclined to do so, or to have much patience with those who so urge it.”
Way back in 1955, the National Review Offline was basically the same: Liberals are in charge of things and they are ruining everything with their relativism and it’s hard for a Conservative like me to get a seven-dollar word (or a few hundred of them) in edgewise. Except now, of course, they’ve lost their thesaurus, which is probably a good thing anyway.
Dammit, “athwart”.
Sounds like she’s gonna take a leak on history.
But within the proper context of course.
[Pee-Wee Lopez crashes bike]
Pee-Wee: I meant to do that!
i wonder if the denizens of sadly no will be forced to fight the terrible war against the T-1000 trollbot. jesus i don’t look forward to it but i will do what i have to do. saul, gary, asshole guy, that chick with that name–we are ready with weapons not as good as yours 40 years from now but also 10 years ago *
*It’s about a killer robot driving
instructor who travels back in time for some reason. Ron
Howard’s attached to direct!
oh, those Arabs and their tendency to lie and exaggerate. Go together like a horse and carriage.
Will she have to resign over this? I mean, even the NRO has to maintain a pretense of anti-racism, I would think.
btw, honestly curious, not being snarky: is Saul a running joke or a real person?
“Before standing athwart history at National Review…”
This is likely an echo of William F. Buckley’s declaration that National Review “stands athwart history, yelling Stop”.
Interesting bio, though. Let’s play “Dissect the Resume”!
An award-winning opinion journalist and editor,
And who has bestowed an award upon her? We aren’t told, probably because we would laugh out loud if we knew.
She speaks frequently, often to high-school and college groups.
Translation: She is a cut-rate conservative whom even the poorest Catholic academy can afford. Not that that’s entirely a bad thing, but that’s what this means.
her work has appeared in the Wall Street Journal, the Washington [Moonie] Times…
…as well as a half-dozen places of whom nobody has ever heard. And that’s not even counting the “other publications” bit at the end of the line. What the heck could those possibly be? Once you’ve padded your resume by pulling the (apparently short-lived and defunct) “American Outlook” out of the hole, what’s left–the middle school newspaper?
Lopez’s reporting subjects are as diverse as feminist indoctrination in the Girl Scouts to the politics of human cloning and racial reparations and daily Beltway politics.
Her views on those subjects, of course, are as narrow as can be.
You can read her nearly hourly at NRO’s weblog, The Corner
Sadly, yes.
Since when did Rosie O’Donnell become a wingnut?
Wait…you mean that’s NOT her!?!
wow…
btw, honestly curious, not being snarky: is Saul a running joke or a real person?
I’d lean toward the former, extensively caveated by saying no one has actually seen it run.
Let’s dissect it even further:
“Lopez’s reporting subjects are as diverse as feminist indoctrination in the Girl Scouts to the politics of human cloning and racial reparations and daily Beltway politics.”
All right, class! Now who can come up to the board and diagram this sentence? Anyone? No? Now students, this was written by an award-winning journalist and editor, therefore it MUST make sense! Come on! Anyone? Bueller?
If that babe is standing athwart history, I’m gonna take the position she’s got one helluva wide stance…
mikey
I mean, even the NRO has to maintain a pretense of anti-racism, I would think.
More or less. They’ll work hard to claim that they’re not prejudiced against black people; witness the recent debacle over what Reagan really meant when he talked about “states’ rights” down in Mississippi on Day 1 of his campaign. Anti-Latino…well, that’s a trickier issue, and they seem to be split down the middle. You have the vehement nationalist anti-immigrant wing, which of course wants to throw out the brown people, but you’ve also got another wing that believes that Latinos are potential GOP voters who should be assimilated, not deported.
Prejudice against Arabs is another matter; it’s practically de rigueur at the moment. We’re in a WAR, you know, against the wily and barbaric hordes. How do we know if they can be trusted?
Lopez won’t be shitcanned, if only because the NROniks realize that she couldn’t get a job anywhere else. (Like so many conservatives, they become quite full of liberal compassion when one of their own is on the line.) Smith might be, but Lopez says somewhere that they’re going to continue working with him. My guess is that he’ll post a few utterly mundane (and unimpeachable) dispatches and then quietly fade away.
He is both.
Like all conservatives in the current political environment.
My sources tell me that saul is, in fact, a nine-foot tall, fire-breathing demon who eats Liberals for breakfast and poops Religious Conservatives at around 10 a.m. every day.
Take that for what it’s worth. My sources do have a habit of lying and exaggerating about their enemies.
In other news, the Idaho Statesman has revealed that Larry Craig, a totally 100% heterosexual Republican like Saul, has taken a wide stance athwart at least 8, less than 100% heterosexual male … ur, um, men, fellas, and/or dudes.
Is it just me or does K-Low look like she should be carded at PG-13 movies?
Kathryn Jean Lopez has been featured in Playboy
Ewwwww.
NRO won’t fire K-Lo, because that racist comment was from someone else — “one of our sources,” remember? — and she was just reporterizin’ it. Why, she is not an Ayrab hater herself; she just had a journalismic responsibility to tell us what her source said. (Oh, and she had to agree with the source to support the excuse for that Smith fella about not really LYING lying, just kinda oopsie-my-bad-misreporting lying, but we won’t talk about THAT.)
I call fake Saul.
Everyone knows that it’s Gary Ruppert who starts every post with “The fact is …”.
A Saul post starting with “The fact is …” is like the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval on a strap-on dildo, nicht wahr?
Oh, and just try and tell me K-Lo is not Kitten from Father Knows Best. (Lower left.)
I’m just going to sit here for like 10 minutes, staring at the word ‘athwart’ while it looks weirder and weirder.
I’m imagining Julie Andrews including ‘context and caveats’ in her list of favourite things…
I need coffee
As an Arab-American, may I be permitted to suggest that K-Lo go fuck herself sideways with a fireplug?
Just a spoon-full of caveats makes the medicine go down. (Yeah I know, wrong movie).
Shes just showing the same restraint that she did with Beauchamp.
Amazing twelve pages w/no apology or admonition. Of course I’ll never believe a word she writes. Of course I would never read a word she writes.
Shes just showing the same restraint that she did with Beauchamp.
You mean the dog-collar and ball-gag? They looked better on him.
Jeez I guess if I drive around in my town and see two guys with mustaches out of the corner of my eye, why begorrah that’s practically the same thing as Hezbollah taking over the university bookstore!
Maybe we all ought to drive around at top speed in our cities and squint really hard and see what fun things we can imagine to titillate our friends with!
Pax
I thought the Asians were the shifty, conniving ones and the Arabs were the bloodthirsty bastards who always used violence as a first resort? At least she didn’t come right out and say “towelheads”.
Trouble with this whole NRO issue is that, in order to lose all credibility, it is first necessary to actually have some.
Good news! As we all know, Angelina Jolie exists, and lives on Earth. Earth has a surface area of 510,065,600 square kilometers (196940400 of your pathetic square “miles”). The entire universe, by contrast, is about infinite in size (let’s assume, though, that it’s a trillion light years across). Extrapolating, we find that there are literally bazillions of Angelina Jolies in existence.
-Ellsworth Huntington
In a book. By an American scholar. Next thing you volks will be saying is that books aren’t true.
*Cleaner than Arabs, for damn sure.
**Celibater, too. Four wives, for shame.
Ellsworth Huntington
He served as the President of the Board of Directors of the American Eugenics Society.
Clean* Celibate** Non-Hippy –
You probably don’t know this but… There was this teeny tiny little never-read book called Orientalism back in 1978. It pretty much demolished the paradigm for interpreting the Middle East, which was basically racist. Few, if any, scholars adhere to the Orientalist Paradigm. Virtually the entire right-wing does, because it describes Arabs as lazy, stupid, backward, etc.
Four wives, for shame.
Actually it’s sixteen – four richer, four poorer, four better, four worse.
But if you want some for shame, too, go right ahead.
I thought the Asians were the shifty, conniving ones and the Arabs were the bloodthirsty bastards who always used violence as a first resort?
You are forgetting Lawrence of Arabia, who promised independence on behalf of his government, in exchange for military support during WWII.
What’s that?
Oh, English. Nevermind.
Cool.
I guess.
I bet his parents were proud.
The troll pulled a Goldberg.
military support during WW I.
Excuse the compulsive pedantry.
The book recommendation from Clean Celibate Non-Hippy is completely sincere, I’m sure…
While we’re recommending books, how about The Arab Mind? It should be required reading for anyone planning to invade and administer territory in the Middle East.
What?
Oh.
bazillions of Angelina Jolies
I keep coming back to that phrase. Perhaps it’s the missing apostrophe.
K-Lo makes Derbyshire look sexy.
The fact is, the plural of “Angelina Jolie” requires no apostrophe.
“I call fake Saul.
Everyone knows that it’s Gary Ruppert who starts every post with “The fact is …”.
A Saul post starting with “The fact is …” is like the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval on a strap-on dildo, nicht wahr?”
Ganz richtig, if you actually mean used and exquisitely not cleaned after use. Oh, by the way K-Lo is hot. Porking that bitch would almost be better than out back with one or two of the hogs. Suey, suey oh,suey, K-Lo.
Sorry for the emotion, but my newspaper puts that skag on as a serious columnist and it fucking burns my ass.
The fact is, if I am thinking about “Angelina Jolie’s bazillions”, I use a apostrophe. And a tissue.
“K-Lo makes Derbyshire look sexy.”
(Shudder) Oh God, I think I just became sterile.
What a horrible frying pan of a face. Crack two eggs on that fucking atrocity and over-easy them before I barf right on her fucking ugly mug.
Hey, at least she’s wearing an American flag lapel pin. That makes it alright.
Because how her face looks and whether Steve in South Carolina would prefer to fuck her instead of pigs has so much to do with her idiotic politics.
Get it together boys.
To quote Wonkette: Kathryn Lopez, mouth-breathing fart-sack.