Looks like somebody learned how to do superscript.

The fun just never stops around here, huh?

mikey

LOL… panic boner.

Aye, but are Catholic Muslims or Protestant Muslims?

I’m glad one of the tags on Fudgie’s post is “Begorrah” (although with his great design skills he somehow made it say “BEGORRAI” until you mouse over), mainly because you don’t hear that said enough.

Someone worrying that Ireland might be insufficiently Christian is so genuinely insane I’m not sure it’s funny.

Damn you Gavin! Damn you!

As the previous post showed, Genuine Insanity has been a boom market for the last seven years.

Yes, I meant that pun.

Bacon Ranch Pringles-stained boxers

They make Bacon Ranch Pringles?

Yum.

OK. It was bad enough that WordPress hated me, but now it hates Frank Zappa too? Aargh. Try again? Frank sez hanx, Gavin:

WordPress (or perhaps the ghost of Frank Zappa) ate my linkied comment. Twice. Fortunately it wasn’t all that funny and it’s arguably cocktail hour.

Mortician, I would not argue with your determination of local time.

[Ice tinkling into glass]

mikey

Quote FOEHAMMAR:

There’s nothing cowardly about protecting my friends and loved ones from the madmen of Islam and the Leftofascists that also deem themselves empowered to do away with anyone that doesn’t perpetuate their tainted view of the world.

If one day an Islamist does identify me and chooses to take me on mano y mano with the intent to do me harm, you can rest assured that it will be front page news as they describe results of the confrontation. Don’t put your money on the terrorist.

In other words, hiding from Islamoes in your mom’s basement isn’t cowardly, because true bravery is measured by what you say anonymously on the internet. And FOEHAMMAR could totally take out any Islamoglaciarist who dared to challenge him to hand-to-hand combat. And he’d be on the front page and he’d be a hero and Susie Collins down the street would totally want to make out with him.

I am offended by the comments here. We’re cutting of your oil!!!1!1!!

No way, Foehammar. Not happening.

You need to learn to spell, Sheik.

And not to encourage Gavin making bad jokes.

*shakes head*

Simba, Simba, Simba . . .

What? Just thought it would be fun to say.

*sips*

Cheers, mikey.

Ok, that’s fucking it. The next person who misuses the term “mano a mano” is going to get the righteous fist of righteousness right up their republican.

I still grit my teeth during that hilarious scene in Robin Hood, Men In Tights, when nefarious bad guy taunts Robin Hood by misusing “mano a mano” and then gets smacked with the gauntlet.

Who the fuck sits around at their computer wondering if one day they’re going to have to fight a Muslim in the first place?

The fact is, I agree with Foehammer, that the Islamists are biased against America, and that theLeft empowers and enables and supports tham at the same time they cut down Christians and try to outlaw the Bible and ban us from public squares. I will not be silent while liberals elevate islam to a privileged position while outlawing Our God, and threatinging me with violence. I will kill them before they try to kill me.

The fact is, If a mulsim showed up at my door trying to convert me, I would shoot and kill him, and be justified as he is threatening me on my property. Id like to see some mulsim jerk try that. It will end badly for him.

Foe’s artwork is worthy of a mention as well ….

http://foehammer.net/zenphoto/albums/foehammer-posters/Dont_let_that_shadow_touch_them_300a.jpg

If one day an Islamist does identify me and chooses to take me on mano y mano with the intent to do me harm, you can rest assured that it will be front page news as they describe results of the confrontation. Don’t put your money on the terrorist.

See Jimmy Newton in Second Grade, Jack Farcous in High School, my older brother and that mean check-out lady at the Piggly Wiggly are NOT Islamists, so that is why I hide in my basement. Now if they were Muslim, THEN I would stick around and throw down.

Jim West could beat up al Quaeda AND foehammer…

mikey

Well, I won’t do you either, Ruppert.

Christ, this is even creepier ….

http://foehammer.net/zenphoto/foehammer-posters/image/595/this_is_the_enemy_Islam_300a.jpg

Well, yeah, but only with my wily assistance.

The fact is, they hate us and want to kill us. I don’t care about why they hate us, but if they are going to try to kill us I will kill them first. Islam is not the only enemy, it is also the liberals who support them.

uh. Responding to mikey. ‘k?

Who the fuck sits around at their computer wondering if one day they’re going to have to fight a Muslim in the first place?

I’ll bet you two donuts that he fingers his pocketknife every time he sees a woman in hijab walking down the street.

Jim West could beat up al Quaeda AND foehammer…

ADAM West could beatup foehammer.

So now Islam is also the liberals who support Islam? That’s it, Gary. I don’t care how much your mom paid me, I’m not going out with you.

I’ll bet you two donuts that he fingers his pocketknife every time he sees a woman in hijab walking down the street.

Fingers something, anyway.

I can think of few other things more un-American then that last poster. The placement of the bible over the finest document ever touched off by the hand of man is enough for me to go and find this shitbag of dumbassedness and explain to him that without the Constitution, he has no rights, including the right to worship a dead Jewish carpenter who thought he was God.

The first Amendment of the Constitution says it all, it explains right up front, the first right guaranteed to all Americans …

“Congress shall make no law regarding the establishment of religion, nor prohibit the free expression thereof.”

Fucking cocknosed twiddledick.

ADAM West could beatup foehammer.

Mae West could beat up Toejammer. But he’d probably just drool himself to death before she could start.

Hey, I was supposed to send a message to the Islamosneakybreederist navy that’s steaming up the Eastern seaboard to invade our coasts and impose their laws. Does anybody here have the passcodes?

Or wait – are they parachuting into Colorado with the help of the Cubans? I forget. Either way, if one of my fellow sympathizers here could get me those codes. kthxbai!

“I’ll bet you two donuts that he fingers his pocketknife every time he sees a woman in hijab walking down the street.”

Funny, because the first thing I did following the attacks on 9/11 (and after driving back across country after burying my oldest sister) was go to the house of my Moslem friend.

I, and another fellow (who had recently returned from Marine Boot Camp) had gone to college with her and loved her. She and all of the women in her family wore the Hijab.

So, when it came time for her mother and grandmother to go shopping, I, and a strapping young fellow in Marine dress, accompanied them to the mall and the grocery store. It certainly caused a lot of eyes to turn, that’s for sure. But with a snarling east coast Irishman dressed like he was ready for a Bowery brawl and a fellow in a Marine uniform present, no one had anything to say, not a fucking soul.

Sorry to beat my own drum, but fuck’em. The only way to combat this sort of stupid is head-on. We kept up the escorts for two months following the attacks, until her mother finally begged us off.

Wasn’t gonna go look at the poster, HumboldBlue, but your comment drove me there. The fuck is that image supposed to mean, anyway? I mean, yeah, it’s creepy. Yeah, it’s unAmerican. But it’s also just stupid as shit as a metaphor. A scary Western-suit-wearing Mooslim stabs a scimitar through a bible and into the Constitution, which already has old blood splotches on it, rather distant from the point of entry?
Only way I can read that is this: powerful (perhaps presidential?) Western hand-holder of scary Mooslim has already murdered the Constitution and is now busy raping the corpse of Christianity. OK. Now it works for me.

The code is ANALFIST

Long live the MexiDemoHomoIslamoCommie Caliphate! Snowflake Baby and Vodka MArtinis all around!

So Blowhammer’s “artwork” consists of retouching World War Two propaganda posters with crescents. Which are, need I point out, not Islamic symbols. Class act, that one. Maybe next he’ll do some posters of Iranians with giant buck teeth and spectacles. Or how about the money grubbing Arabs with those hilariously huge noses?

This guy is truly demented. He really thinks he’s “protecting” people with this shit? He really thinks his pathetic scribblings are having any influence on anything? He really thinks Osama would order his assassination, if only he could uncover The Hammer’s secret identity? Just sad man.

The fact is if a (7th Day Adventist) (Jehova’s Witness) (________) showed up at my door trying to “convert” me, I would shoot and kill him, and be justified as he is “threatening” me on my “property” !!!

I’ve met the Irish Muslim. A very nice fellow.

Even my ancestral home of tiny Ireland is not safe from the Creep of Sharia

damn you Pam Atlas, is there nothing sacred any more!

C’mon, they just call me that because my little brother could pronounce my name. It just kinda stuck.

I mean, sure, I cut your hand off if you steal and kill you if you blaspheme (dammit, I LOVE that word), but the whole “creep” thing is just unfair…

Hey, Mae West probably had more experience at one-on-one bare-knuckles fighting than Toejammer (I so love that). She grew up in a rough town, I believe, and had a lot of interesting experiences. Very interesting lady, as I discovered. Her autobiography is well worth a read.

“Shake Djibouti”. Hehehehehehe.

Er, you know, couldn’t pronounce my name.

It’s Lynyrd…

So Islam is the 3rd largest religion in Ireland.

What first occurred to me is, well, if Islam is 3rd and I assume Christian is 1st, then what could be second? I’m not too familiar with the Jewish disaspora in Ireland.

But then I see he breaks up Christianity into sects, like Catholic vs. Church of Ireland vs. Eastern Orthodox. He even breaks Orthodoxy into Eastern vs. Greek. God knows what he does to Protestantism.

So basically, if you break up Christianity into its sectarian parts but continue to count all of Islam as a single whole – well, yeah, it sounds perfectly understandable that Islam comes in third.

But given that methodology – it makes me wonder what was third before Islam overtook it? Shintoism?
What happens

Long live the MexiDemoHomoIslamoCommie Caliphate!

Hey, what about the abortionists?

If one day an Islamist does identify me and chooses to take me on mano y mano with the intent to do me harm

mano y mano?

My mexlamofaslingish is a little rusty, but doesn’t he mean “mano a mano”? i.e., “hand to hand” rather than “hand and hand”?

“But given that methodology – it makes me wonder what was third before Islam overtook it? Shintoism?”

Guinness.

The fact is, liberals cheer for global jihad, and root against USA and our troops, which means they are really stupid because our troops are fighting for their freedom to disrespect our president and the troops sacrifice while Jihad Jonny will cut their hands off and throw all their gay friends in jail when they take over, maybe our brave troops should stop fighting for the freedom of these clueless, ungreatful idiots who hate USA and themselves

““hand and hand”?”

Not if your name is Bandar Bush.

I think he’s worried that someone’s going to try to hold hands with him before he’s ready. Before they’ve been, y’know, pinned or something.

Long live the MexiDemoHomoIslamoCommie Caliphate!

Hey, what about the abortionists?

WE are ALL abortionists! Didn’t you take the class in Public High School like everyone else?

[Ice tinkling into glass]

mikey, how’d dinner go last night?

He really thinks Osama would order his assassination, if only he could uncover The Hammer’s secret identity?

Gundamhead beats me. I thought that was the best part of Fudgy The Whale’s little self-justification:

If one day an Islamist does identify me and chooses to take me on mano y mano with the intent to do me harm… (As opposed to taking him on hand & hand…well, maybe “hand & hand” might not involve doing harm. A Texas B. A. in English @ work.)

Yeah, every one of Bin Laden’s hacking geniuses is devoting all their time to finding who Fudgy really is, ’cause he’s singlehandedly “protecting my friends and loved ones from the madmen of Islam” w/ his crappy Photoshops from the basement @ Mom’s.

Note that he hasn’t yet come by to remind all of his B. A. in English. (I’ve a sneaking suspicion it was in remedial English, not English Lit.)

If one day an Islamist does identify me and chooses to take me on mano y mano with the intent to do me harm…

God, this has all the tender yearning of a young ingenue gazing out her window at the moon, longing for the prince to come and sweep her off her feet.

The fact is, liberals cheer for global jihad, and root against USA and our troops,

Yay, GO! Jihad!

Hmmm. Kinda unsat. Know what we need? Announcers. You know, play by play guys. I dunno, maybe I’m spoiled, but it’s hard for me to cheer and root without some guy telling me what’s going on, who’s winning, and whuppin out the telestrator to emphasize a great beheading – er – play. I’d cheer for jihad and root against USA and our troops if I could get some real-time play-by-play, is all I’m saying.

Oh. And it occurs to me you just hear the word “troops” too many times these days. Support our troops. Thank our troops. Troops. Troops. Troops.

We got us some motherfuckin troops is what we got. Troops. TROOPS. TROOPS!!!

So now “troops” is a funny word. Like “merge”. And “Bertha”.

g, “dinner” was truly a pleasure. Of course, I didn’t get much actual DINNER, but that is most certainly NOT a complaint. Stayed up too late, drank too much wine, had to work on a complex IBM RFQ today that made my stomach hurt, and the day just ran on and on and on.

But I had a fantastic indian lunch that really recharged my battery, at least long enough to get caught up and about that moment I saw Smiling Mortician’s suggestion that it was the cocktail hour, and that was it for me.

I’m wrapped up in my favorite blanket here at mikey HQ, with a fridge full of righteous leftovers and a bottle of scotch. I’m all set…

mikey

Also, “Among Pakistani nationals living in [Ireland], 97.3 percent were Muslim”. Erm, isn’t that kind of the idea of Pakistan? When the British were all like “Here, all you Muslim types can have THIS part here in an Islamic Republic, and the rest of you lot can go HERE in regular old Inja, and you each get your very own Punjab, and then you won’t have to fight, eh wot? Right, we’ll be buggering off now, oh and can a few of you come along so our country can have some decent cooking for once?”

mano y mano.

Sheik sheik sheik...

Mikey, you are/were a troop, right? Why do we never hear about the individual troop? Even with that Army of One stuff. Support a troop.

We need that cheering section where they hold up the little cards in different colors with letters that spell out words!

Hot mano a mano action.

Per Wikipedia & the CIA (Ask yourselves: Do you trust those sources?):

According to the CIA World Factbook, the U.S. is 78% Christian and 10% no religion, while other religions comprise 12% of the U.S. population. In descending order, the largest identified religious groups are Protestant (52%); Roman Catholic (24%); Mormon (2%); Buddhist (2%); Muslim (1%) and Jewish (1%).

So if you lump all the Xtians together (preferably in camps in the Intermountain West & various deserts, but that’s just me speaking) & count the Mormies as Xtians, the Muzzies come in @ #3 in our own good old mom’s basement, apple pieChee-tos™ & Chevrolet U. S. of A.!!!!

No wonder Fudgy has a secret identity. I do too, in my lonely struggle against fascism of all kinds, Muzzie or Christie, “and the LeftofascistsRepublicans that also deem themselves empowered to do away with anyone that doesn’t perpetuate their tainted view of the world.”

“The Girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish”
From the film “Garden Of The Moon” (1938)
(Harry Warren / Al Dubin / Johnny Mercer)

One fine day, I chanced to stray
On a little side street in old Bombay
And met a sentimental oriental
She saw me and I saw she
Had a manner too bold and much too free
Her eyes were positively detrimental
When I asked about this gay coquette
I discovered much to my regret….

She’s the girl friend of the whirling dervish
She’s the sweetest one he’s found
But ev’ry night, in the mellow moonlight
When he’s out dervishing with all his might
She gives him the run-around

All the boy friends of the whirling dervish
Are his best friends to his face
But there’s no doubt, when he isn’t about
They all come hurrying to take her out
She leads him a dizzy pace

He dreams of a Hindu honeymoon
He doesn’t dream that ev’ry night when he goes out
To make an honest rupee
She steps out to make a lotta whoopee

Oh, the love song of the whirling dervish
Has a sweet and tender sound
But will he burn if he ever should learn
That while he’s doing her a real good turn
She gives him the runaround

She’s got a nervish, throwin’ him a curvish
Which, of course, he doesn’t deservish
Poor old whirling dervish!

The fact is, you don’t really have to give particular evidence for anything you say if you preface your statement with “the fact is.” For example, the fact is that Gary Ruppert is actually the reanimated corpse of Francisco Franco.

If one day an Islamist does identify me and chooses to take me on mano y mano with the intent to do me harm

Yes. Many is the time that we’ve been shocked by the widespread carnage of terrorist fist fights.

Also, doesn’t “y” mean “and”? So he’s saying Hand and Hand, which sounds like he doesn’t want to hold hands with them. Fine. But maybe he’s making a common mistake and thinks mano means “Man” so he’s saying Man and Man and he’s worried an Islamist will try to screw him with the intent to do him harm.

Note to Islamist: Slowhammer demands extra lube!

Erm, isn’t that kind of the idea of Pakistan?

Would that be the Islamic Republic of Pakistan you’re asking about? why, yes, I do believe that’s so…..

Visually, so that even a Fudgy Whale may understand.

Love the “Muslim (Islamic)”. But what about the Moslems, Mohammedans, Musselmen, and Mahometans?

g, they certainly don’t write songs like that any more, do they? There may a reason they don’t, too.

mikey, how was din-din w/ the tall blonde? Was it a tall blonde human female? You didn’t specify.

Musselmen. They’re good eating, in a rich garlic/butter sauce. Have to boil ’em just right, though.

Tall blonde was in fact a human female.

Din-din consisted of cold cuts and cheese on a blanket in front of the fire quite late in the evening.

In a lovely, glowing, post-coital moment she turned to me and languidly said “oh shit, I’ve gotta get home!”

The perfect date…

mikey

“the Gambia” ?

Is that what the kids are calling Gambia these days?

Meanwhile, and in violation of my every principle, I want to tell the insufferable and cretinous Gary Ruppert:

Yeah, bunky, you do that. If anyone shows up at your door, you never know–they might be a Moslem, or they might be a Moslem-luvvin’ liberal. Best to kill them regardless.

Eat Bertha’s Musselmen!

Yeah, it’s not just a Gambia — it’s The Gambia. Like The Batman, I guess.

The best part is that those Christians aren’t “real Christians”. According to my “real Christian” neighbors, who travel twice a year to tell the Orthodox Christians of Moldova that their religion is actually an idolatry practicing cult and recruit them to help build their Southern Baptist empire in the former Soviet countries, these “Christians” only count when figuring in a country’s statistics. But when they get down to the actual love for their neighbors and fellow Christians, people like me don’t count. Never mind that my family comes from an area not that far from Ephesus, we just have no cred with evangelical fundies here in the States, and I’m willing to bet that HoeFammer would feel the same way.

I didn’t know Barack Obama was Irish.

Must go and cheat now …

Paul instructed them to send ten copies to the Thessalonians and the Ephesians. But the Ephesians broke the chain, and were punished by the LORD …

Actually, if you want creepy images involving badly photoshopped crescents menacing various things, a bunch of bloggers have this wacky calendar for sale. I forgot to look actually to see if Foehammer is on the list, damn my fact checking.

So, the canary in the coal mine for how the Caliphate is advancing is….Ireland? Are you kidding? We’re supposed to wig out because Ireland cracks the 1% mark on Islam?

Call me when they reach 50%.

“The Gambia.” Turns out Ukraine wasn’t using their definite article any more, so The Gambia took it.

Jeezis, mikey, you made a good dinner for yourself, shared affection & desire w/ another humanoid w/o any more food investment than cold cuts, & she had to go home (husband waiting?) w/o prompting? Life is good, isn’t it?
[Thinks: Bastard! Wanders off resentfully, kicking empty motor oil can down unpaved road as junkyard dog nips at his ankles.]

Would that be Metzger’s Dog?

Or the dogs from the junkyard in the Burke novels?

mikey

So, the canary in the coal mine for how the Caliphate is advancing is….Ireland? Are you kidding?

Has Shrieking Harpy Pam Juggs heard about this? She’ll be disappointed she’s not the canary any more.

Faith, and is that Barry O’Bama ye’ll be talkin’ o’, lad?

No, the junkyard dog not as mean as bad bad Leroy Brown in the Jim Croce song. Or Schroedinger’s Dog. Who’s Metzger? Tom the racist from Fallbrook?

If a mulsim showed up at my door trying to convert me, I would shoot and kill him,

Dang. Gary, I hope you don’t order much delivery food.

The fact is, that Islam is the enemy of Western Civilization and must be destroyed. America, Europe and Australia should ban all muslim immigration into their countries and the ones who are already their must either convert willingly to Christianity or be deported.

Would that be Metzger’s Dog?

EXcellent book. I always think of it when one bad accident freezes the Beltway solid.

From the Goatslammer’s blagh:

Well, I’m back and refreshed from the continuing holiday festivities. Since Thanksgiving, I have eaten two entire pies by myself,

Bwahahaha! They really do like pie.

The fact is, Western Civilization & its evil bastard offspring, “free market” capitalism & greed, are the enemies of everything that is decent & good in the world, such as gay butt secks abortions, recreational drugs (except for dick stiffeners; it it doesn’t work, there’s a good reason, so leave it limp) & loud vulgar music, often perfomed by Negroes & other such low-lifes.

Metzger’s Dog is the first novel by Thomas perry.

Metzger, by the way, for Qetesh and Mehitabel and all our other feline denizens, is a cat.

It’s actually back in print due to the success of his Jane Whitfield novels, and if you haven’t read it, along with “The Butcher’s Boy” and “Sleeping Dogs”, you need to make it happen.

mikey

The fact is, that the members of the Islamo-fascist group cair are traitors and the enemy. They should all be charged with treason and executed.

Eating two entire pie-equivalents by yourself, in a week, is probably unhealthy. Eating two entire pies by yourself, though, is sad.

The fact is, if someone is a traitor and the enemy, they’re on our side, as spies or something.

They should all be charged with treason and executed.

Never mind about that messy step in the middle, the trial.

Oh, that Thomas Perry. I like the Jane Whitfield novels.

They should all be charged with treason and executed.

Is this a Cheney, Novak, and Libby thread, now?

Hang ’em high!

They should all be charged with treason and executed.

Oh yeah. ‘Cause we’ve really been so successful in killing our way out of all of america’s other problems.

This is a pretty good model for a successful society.

Got a disease? Execution.

Disagree with leadership? Execution.

Just can’t conform to society’s norms? Execution.

Criminals? Oh hell yeah. Execution.

Atheists, communists, abortionists? Execution.

The remaining ten thousand americans will spend their final months hunting down and killing each other for increasingly trivial offenses.

Then, one day, a couple of Hopis will come down from their vision quest in the Sangra de Christos and look around.

“Whoa, dude. Where is everyone?”

“Dunno, dude. Let’s get a six pack.”

“Fuck that dude, let’s start a new civilization!”

mikey

Silly HumboldtBlue: Christianity is second, Guiness is first.

And mikey, don’t you diss Bertha – that was my sainted grandmother. She’s one of my heroes, y’know, so any sass from you and I’ll have at ye, claws akimbo.

The fact is, that the islamic religion is poisoning the historically Christian nations of the West. Islam and secular humanism are united in an unholy alliance to destroy Western Civilization in general and America in particular. Christians must unite and defeat this enemy and preserve our Western traditions and culture.

The fact is.

I’m forced to wonder, what do the people who talk about “historically Christian nations” think of the rise of Ásatru in Iceland.

No disrespect, Qetesh, but I discovered long ago (perhaps early in my explorations of lysergic acids) that certain words were “funny”. They just fit awkwardly in the mouth, they lost all sense of meaning quickly, and somehow felt weird, or artificial, or maybe something even beyond that.

Merge. Bertha. Mop.

Your sainted grammaw would be delighted, I would think, to know her name stands out as a word that simply doesn’t conform to simple, conversational standards, and rather requires deeper thought and understanding.

N’est ce pas?

mikey

I’m forced to wonder, what do the people who talk about “historically Christian nations of the West” think of swarthy Jewish carpenters from the Middle East.

But since the subject in question is just one of many fake Garys (not moi, this time), the question is moot.

Reichtards don’t think, Rush Limbaugh does it for them.

Naturally, we in Ireland are touched and honoured by the concern and attentions of Mr Foe Hammer sorrr, praizes be ‘pon his name. What with all this skyrocketing from 0.48% of the population to 0.78%, sometimes I do be wondering if it’s the same green and fair land of my fathers at all at all. Sure and it’s getting so’s that our comely maidens can’t be dancing at the crossroads without having to cover up their flame-red hair and daintily freckled cheeks, their coy sidelong glances and shy smiles now a distant memory, with only the sight of veil, hijab and burqa in their stead. God be with the days when the monsignor’d be there to keep us safe from dem forrin divils, begorr. And bejaysis.

I would let himself know how this by posting on his very own site, but sure haven’t I been banned?! And can’t I only see it, and not be posting at all at all, through anonymouse.org? Some mistake surely, to be sure to be sure.

As it happens, I’ve been following foehammer’s descent into his current state for many years now, long before The Anvil was established. I even saw a picture he purported to be of himself once, which would surely fetch a high price on al-qaedaBay.com nowadays.

He’d be tragic, if he wasn’t such a f*cking muppet.

g, I saw the dervishes whirling, each to each
I do not think that they will whirl to me

(Hat tip to T S Eliot for The Love Song Of J Alfred Prufrock, one of the saddest poems I know)

Note: I did actually see the dervishes whirling: they were on tour many years ago, and I went to see them. Very moving. Although only in a circle. Boom boom.

Aye, and it’s a grand thing to be employin’ all the converted nuns from the convent to be stitching hijabs and burkas from our fine Irish linen and tweeds.

but I discovered long ago (perhaps early in my explorations of lysergic acids) that certain words were “funny”.

no, the deal is you repeat them enough times that they sound weird.

Or you repeat a phrase until the words merge together. “Unique New York” was a favorite in my dorm room when the weed was burning.

Ara sure and ‘twouldn’t be Oirland is ye didn’t have a niq?b fashioned from the coarsest grey connemara cloth.

‘Tis far we’ve come from blamin’ the Brits for everyting, now sure tis all about the hindoo. Or muslims. Or watever.

Hmm, resentfully kicking things down a dirt road made me think of Lord of the Barnyard for some reason.

Mikey, just about any word can be funny under the right circumstances. Those right circumstances often include someone like Rowan Atkinson giving his all as a schoolmaster. He’s made ‘mattock’ one of my favourite words. But you’ve got to pronounce it right.

Mattock. Matt’ck. Lovely voiceless velar plosive consonant there.

Yoiks, I need a nap.

The fact is I had a real nice dinner. Softshell tacos and weed. I also finally saw The Hudsucker Proxy all the way through, though, frankly, I thought the Preston Sturgis was laid on a bit thick and I still don’t much care for Tim Robbins. However, Jennifer Jason Leigh is awful cute as Rosalind Russell.

And that’s a fact, jack.

The fact is, there should be a National Talk/Type Like Gary Ruppert Day.

The fact is, I’m gonna talk like this all day at work tomorrow. Anyone who tries to stop me is a traitor and should be forced to read Pat Sajak columns until his eyes bleed.

In Right Blogistan, every day is Talk Like Gary Ruppert Day.

The fact is, I am the real Gary Ruppert.

Which one, the Republican flunky or the “contributing to the delinquency of a minor” one?

The fact is, Death Benefits, Big Fish and Pursuit are also awesome books.
The fact is, people who say “As a fatter of mact” are funny exactly once.

The lie am, me am FAKE Gary Ruppert!

Heh. I knew some people who toured doing sound mixing with the Irish dance show “Riverdance”, and they said that the cast – Irish, of course – were such prodigious drinkers that the American crew (no lightweights in the drinking department, but still no match for the Irish) called the show “Liverdance.”

Irish Catholic Boy

“Or wait – are they parachuting into Colorado with the help of the Cubans? I forget. Either way, if one of my fellow sympathizers here could get me those codes. kthxbai!”

Are they bringing any Cubans with them? I haven’t had a decent cigar in ages!

Aw, fuck.

I think I mentioned something a while back about a young man we know who was suddenly stricken with a heart attack, and how I was trying to get info about him from his friends and family.

Well, today I just got a message with links to a whole website about what happened.

It’s so fucking sad. This young man is 16 years old. He was born with what was thought to be a minor heart defect. He collapsed at his school while running track, 2 weeks ago. He’s been kept in a medically-induced coma, on a respirator, ever since. His lungs were deteriorating – now they seem to be healing. They are trying to wean him off the sedation. His family has been in a round the clock vigil by his bedside ever since.

The latest update says they think he is going to come out of it, but his neurologists are warning that the initial heart attack and period without oxygen may have affected his brain.

How fucking awful.

Another word for your list, mikey: twelfth. I once spent the better part of an hour trying to convince myself that it either was or wasn’t a word. It was one of those nights.

And Qetesh, I trust you’ve seen Chris Clarke’s homage to Prufrock by way of smacking down godlstein?

Silly If The Thunder, Rush is so over man, these folks are getting their thinking from Savage.

Hey Colorado, I know a GREAT cigar place, and they ship. All hand rolled beautifully in store, and the guys are from Cuba even if their cigars aren’t. La Herencia. I should find a link. They’re in Ybor City, Tampa FL, pretty close to “The Idiot Stone” (the paver that says “Evolution: The Opiate of the Uninformed”). But really, fabulous cigars from a small family owned shop. Very nice.

I sneer at the word ‘mattock’. Or rather, I say ‘Plectrum’ at it.
Still having nightmares about all those canaries down in the coal-mines. Great flocks of them, black-feathered and demented, flapping the lengths of the corridors in search of a way out. One day they’ll join forces with the elephants in the corner of the room, and it will be the end of human civilisation.

Damn, g! That’s a scary thing to have to hear, particularly for someone so young. I’ll keep him in my thoughts. Is there any chance you could post a link to the site?

When somebody gets fucked up, it’s surprising how long lasting and wide-ranging the impacts are. Heart attack, gunshot, car wreck. People so often walk away and think they’re fine, only to discover that the price to be paid encompasses a lifetime, and the costs simply cannot be measured.

It doesn’t take a huge amount of trauma to fuck up a human. There’s the physical damage, the mental damage, the scars to try to integrate.

So imagine the overriding massiveness of a truly major trauma. Imagine all the costs you can’t find or imagine, the loss of pride, of dignity, of functions you never expected to spend, the pain, the sadness, the depression, the recriminations, the financial and social costs piled high upon the physical and mental injuries.

We spend too much time watching movies. People? They pay a price all out of proportion to societal expectations. And yet we keep our expectations, and hide our eyes from the broken lives and damaged souls.

Doctor. My eyes…

mikey

I wonder if there’s some tubby skidmark in his mom’s basement in Rabat getting a panic boner

I love you. I honestly love you.

Thanks, y’all about our friend. My son is a little older than he is; actually, my son has a friend whose little brother hung out with this young man, and the 2 older guys always thought the 2 younger guys were big pests, but of course, we don’t feel that now at all. He’s a goofy long-haired kid who plays the drums. Bless him.

The weblink is in some system that requires the family to OK it, so I can’t post a link. All I can say is when you burn a candle, think of ZK when you do it. it can’t hurt.

La Herencia. I should find a link. They’re in Ybor City, Tampa FL

My MIL collected some oral history, and did some volunteer work with the historical societies in Ybor. We love Ybor City. The Columbia Restaurant……Navierra coffee…..!!!!!!

So, anyway, these three Irish Muslims were waking their dear pal, O’Ali. It was about 3 o’clock in the mornin’, and they’d been tipplin’ a bit.

Now, O’Ali and the missus never got along, of course. They just despised each other, but divorce bein’ out o’ the question they just got through with their lives, until that day O’Ali just up and died.

Well, as I was sayin’, O’Ali’s three Irish Muslim friends were settin’ up with the corpse in the wee hours when one of ’em stopped and said, “I swear, I just saw him move!”

“Well, ye best be gettin’ his missus,” said another. “Sure as she’ll want to know.” So, the third went off t’ fetch O’Ali’s missus, and sure enough along he comes back with her, insistin’ that they’ve seen O’Ali move.

The missus was a hard woman to start with, and she didn’t like bein’ woken up at such an hour t’ be certain, so in she comes with one eye squintin’ and the other open wide. Not one of the others said a word as she looked down at O’Ali lyin’ there, and after a long minute she roars out, “Well, movin’ or not, he’s outta here at nine o’clock!”

Maybe this helps … a little ….

Oh, great. I post an Irish Muslim joke, and then look back to see that in the meantime g’s told us a tragic story that’s actually true.

That really sucks, g. No matter what they age. I’ll get a candle going. Life changes like that, doesn’t it?

Oh. fuck, don’t feel bad, rightwingsnarkle. He’s a 16 year old boy. He’d probably like hearing funny Irish jokes. I do, too.

Go with that candle, though.

Regardless of theological bent, this may help too …

g–nice, I love Ybor. My Great-Grandfather was a Lector in a cigar factory. My Granddaddy grew up in Ybor, born and raised. The house has just been renovated, even, it’s still there. I’m getting more fond of Carmine’s than the Columbia honestly.

Seriously though, thoughts, prayers, and I’ll light some incense outside for your friend (not being silly, that’s part of how I pray, sounds silly though, but I’m sincere). That’s so sad.

Shake Djibouti? Maybe you should pray with Yo Imama…or perhaps on Joe’s Al-Hajj.

Wow, that reminds me, the Hajj is coming up here soon. I’m a tad bit worried about this year’s Hajj (no, not because of the stampedes) with the H5N1 situation barely contained in Saudi. I mean, all of the countries in the region have done a pretty good job containing the spread and culling the infected birds, but sheesh. Just like when it was creeping into Northern Iraq. There are just certain situations that are not considered ideal when any infectious agent is on the loose. Yeah, I’m a nerd.

Smiling Mortician, that was superb: I aspire to that level of erudite snarking. Chris Clarke is as a god unto men (and women. and cats).

g, when I was a girl, back in the mists of time, a young friend of mine was knocked off his bike. He too was an athlete, a national-standard swimmer, and he spent several weeks in a coma. Recovery took him a while, but he did recover, and went to university (and graduated), so there’s hope for your young friend. Especially since medical care these days is so much more advanced than in those days, when they used leeches and all.

Actually, in those days they did use leeches. A cousin of mine had an accident with a tunneling machine (he was an opal miner at Coober Pedy). He’d gone in front of the machine to pick at the face, and his partner swung the jackhammer through the roughly 7′ in diameter machine and accidentally turned it on. Luckily it was standing on sand, not rock, otherwise Phillip would have been completely mashed.

As it was, both legs were badly mangled, and his partner had to drag him out of the mine, alone, up the shaft, into the ute, and drive him into town to the town doctor. Who promptly sewed up the gashes, full of sand and grit as they were. They got the Flying Doctor (an air ambulance service for remote communities) to collect him (and his wife with their several-month-old daughter) and bring them to Adelaide (where I live, and where there’s a fine hospital).

They saved his life, but the blood wasn’t draining away as it should, and eventually they used leeches to drain some of the excess blood. Got written up in medical journals, I think. They saved one leg, but he lost the other just above the knee.

When he got a prosthesis, he wanted to hollow it out so that he could put his lunchbox and a bottle of something in there…

This is news liable to shake Djibouti.

that is absolutely the worst pun I have ever read. I loved it! I haven’t laughed so hard in months.

Actually, if you want creepy images involving badly photoshopped crescents menacing various things, a bunch of bloggers have this wacky calendar for sale. I forgot to look actually to see if Foehammer is on the list, damn my fact checking.

That is just so sad, on so many levels. I did think it was amusing that the Spanish one (December) actually imposed a crescent on a building that was either built by Muslims, or was at least inspired by them (I think it’s the alhambra). The Dutch one is also moronic, can they not find a famous building in the Nederlands? Instead, the fuckers put their crescent with ‘Enough’ on a windmill.

Shakes head, reaches for a beer.

The Dutch one is also moronic, can they not find a famous building in the Nederlands?
I reckon the ribbed condom tower in the Hague would be vastly improved by a crescent or two.

“Actually, if you want creepy images involving badly photoshopped crescents menacing various things, a bunch of bloggers have this wacky calendar for sale.”

Wow. People would actually pay money for that? It couldn’t have taken them more than twenty minutes to make that thing. Quite a racket, this counter-jihad.

“I did think it was amusing that the Spanish one (December) actually imposed a crescent on a building that was either built by Muslims, or was at least inspired by them (I think it’s the alhambra). The Dutch one is also moronic, can they not find a famous building in the Nederlands? Instead, the fuckers put their crescent with ‘Enough’ on a windmill.”

I found it amusing that for the one token non-white country (India) they couldn’t be bothered to dig up the Hindi script for “enough”, and just had it in English. Hey, that civilization is only, like four thousand years old. It’s not like their language and culture is worth being proud of or anything.

the one token non-white country (India) they couldn’t be bothered to dig up the Hindi script for “enough”, and just had it in English.
Give them credit for not using the Taj Mahal as the iconic building.

I like pie charts

>ADAM West could beatup foehammer.

>Mae West could beat up Toejammer. But he’d probably just drool himself to death before she could start.

I’m putting my money on Margaret Hamilton-playing-the-Wicked Witch of the West who could beat him up

Merely showing up would probably make him faint.

LOL Smut. I love it. After the Spanish building, I was honestly thinking that the Taj Mahal may show up. Wow, how about USF’s famous crescents down in Tampa? I’m waiting for panties to get all in a bunch about that. Those are so iconic locally that I think the school newspaper is called “The Crescent”, though I may have that wrong. Either way, some architect just thought that certain architecture was pretty, they weren’t put there by “creeping sharia”.

I just still love their commenters. I gave one “the floor” last night on my blog, and the weirdo hit practically every single post on my blog. Few goodies though, but now that I’ve been deemed the Gates of Vienna “stalker blog” I’m going to host a nice photoshop contest. Love those. Maybe I’ll just put a Crescent on Baron Bodissey’s head for my entry. At least one of the Gates fans confirmed that he/she/it is in favor of forced deportations. Only of “dregs” from the “third world” whose immigration cannot bring “any good” to Western nation, even though he/she/it worships at the feet of Dymphna, a woman who constantly is posting about her Irish heritage. Irony and hypocrisy, totally lost on these folks.

I’ll take you all down, esp. that Artemus Gordon jerk!

Expanding the conversation…what religion would want the Muslims and Christians at each other’s throat? Zionists? Only Israel benefits from these endless Middle East wars. Iraq is the beginning. As we commit war-crimes in Baghdad, the US gov’t commits treason at home by opening mail, eliminating habeas corpus, using the judiciary to steal private lands, banning books likeAmerica Deceived (book) from Amazon and Wikipedia, conducting warrantless wiretaps and engaging in illegal wars on behalf of AIPAC’s ‘money-men’. Soon, another US false-flag operation will occur (sinking of an Aircraft Carrier by Mossad) and the US will invade Iran.. Then we’ll invade Syria, then Saudi Arabia, then Lebanon (again) then ….

Support Dr. Ron Paul and end these wars.

Those crafty Joos! They tricked the Xtians and the Mooslims into fighting the Crusades by telling both sides the other side said something nasty about they mamas!

Gentlewoman wrote, a few threads back:

I think that the Online All Paul People have been reined in to some extent anyway, since obvs someone at Paul HQ finally figured out that the “mobbing comment threads which mention Our Savior Dr. Paul’s Name” just convinced even more people that maybe the campaign was run by deranged fanboys.

Looks like one of the fanboys didn’t get the message.

Looks like one of the fanboys didn’t get the message.

That idiot’s got a book to pimp and came to the Ron Paul cult after he’d already gotten the spam habit.

Shag Fund!

Let’s not even address that ZIONISM ISN’T A RELIGION.

Christ, even when they’re just book shills, they’re stupid.

Surely you’ve all read enough wingnut blogposts to understand that the significance of the Muslim population of Ireland is that Ireland is entirely under the control of Euro-Leftist commies who want to abolish Christianity and institute Sharia law, and within 50 years, through a combination of governmental decrees and simple breeding rates, Ireland will be 100% Muslim.

Sheesh! Do I have to explain this every time?

Back to Prufrock, here it is set to Portishead

The things they have now.

Rufus–I just hope that the extreme wingers will keep marginalizing themselves so that normal folks can discuss actual religious extremism (including Islamic) without being accused of being wingnuts. These people think that anyone more to the left don’t even notice things like the Saudi rape victim story or the Mohammed Teddy Bear nonsense in Sudan, then act surprised that Muslims don’t comment on their sites expressing a “moderate” view. The mind reels.

I honestly don’t think many of these folks spend much time outside of the web.

Lex, you make a good point:

Shorter Wingnut: All that is human and civilized and dear will be brutally raped and murdered unless we abolish civil rights, bomb indiscriminately, and stop the brownies from breeding so many vermin offspring. Why won’t so-called “moderate” Muslims join us?

I did think it was amusing that the Spanish one (December) actually imposed a crescent on a building that was either built by Muslims, or was at least inspired by them (I think it’s the alhambra).

Actually it’s the Great Mosque of Cordoba. You’d think the name would have tipped them off.

shake Djibouti
I’d love to see that in a headline someday, that and Rice goes mushy

And who mentioned Zionism? Talk about flying off the handle.

Look up the USS Liberty sometime, and AIPAC. Just like US conservative politics (abortion rights, etc), religion is the smokescreen, it’s really just realpolitik. No boogie-boogie conspiracies required, unless they make you feel warm inside.

“Hey Colorado, I know a GREAT cigar place, and they ship. All hand rolled beautifully in store, and the guys are from Cuba even if their cigars aren’t. La Herencia. I should find a link. They’re in Ybor City, Tampa FL, pretty close to “The Idiot Stone” (the paver that says “Evolution: The Opiate of the Uninformed”). But really, fabulous cigars from a small family owned shop. Very nice.”

Thanks Lex. I’ve actually visited that place (or one very similar?) in the Ybar. Ah, cubano’s, cafecito and cigars. Good stuff.

Still, real Cuban cigars have that forbidden fruit aspect to them. Part of the allure. The thrill of sneaking a bunch thru customs. Sticking it to the man. Similar to sneaking into bars as a 16 year old. Teh taboo…

Sadly, my advancing age has sharply curtailed the tobacco consumption (and most other vices). For the best, I suppose. Not that I would turn one down, mind you.

that certain words were “funny”

Thwart.

Its not the same after the Silver Ring closed.

Spam filter test.

Parsnip.

Hee, hee, hee.

Rutabaga!

Bwahaha!

Salsify. Scorzonera.
What is it with root vegetables?

Actually it’s the Great Mosque of Cordoba. You’d think the name would have tipped them off.

thanks for the research,aka, I thought it was the Alhambra, but I was reall pissed up that weekend. Are they trying to be ironic or are they really tha stupid?

Omigod, the Muslims have taking over our good Christian mosques! They must be stopped!

Ahem! (Pulls cord. Cord fails. Yanks canvas. Canvas makes link totter precariously.) Ta da:

Inherently Funny Words

“Pants”, “badger”, “Wankel Rotary Engine”…

Bandicoot. Akimbo. Flange.

From “Inherently Funny Words”:
Dave Barry contrasts the phrases “Richard Nixon wearing a necktie” with “Richard Nixon wearing a neck weasel”, and “Scientists have discovered a 23rd moon orbiting Jupiter” with “Scientists have discovered a giant weasel orbiting Jupiter.” Barry concludes that “You can improve the humor value of almost any situation by injecting a weasel into it.”

We eagerly await a Greasemonkey script that will do that automagically to a Comments thread.
Spleen. Brisket. Plinth.

An impressive share! I’ve just forwarded this onto a co-worker who was conducting a little homework on this. And he actually ordered me breakfast because I discovered it for him… lol. So let me reword this…. Thank YOU for the meal!! But yeah, thanx for spending some time to talk about this matter here on your website.