Our doomed nation, part II
Madre de Dios. This is the sort of thing I expect to read in Newsmax or WorldNetDaily, not in the damn Washington Post:
Foes Use Obama’s Muslim Ties to Fuel Rumors About Him
By Perry Bacon Jr.
In his speeches and often on the Internet, the part of Sen. Barack Obama’s biography that gets the most attention is not his race but his connections to the Muslim world.
Since declaring his candidacy for president in February, Obama, a member of a congregation of the United Church of Christ in Chicago, has had to address assertions that he is a Muslim or that he had received training in Islam in Indonesia, where he lived from ages 6 to 10. While his father was an atheist and his mother did not practice religion, Obama’s stepfather did occasionally attend services at a mosque there.
Despite his denials, rumors and e-mails circulating on the Internet continue to allege that Obama (D-Ill.) is a Muslim, a “Muslim plant” in a conspiracy against America, and that, if elected president, he would take the oath of office using a Koran, rather than a Bible, as did Rep. Keith Ellison (D-Minn.), the only Muslim in Congress, when he was sworn in earlier this year. […]
The rumors about Obama have been echoed on Internet message boards and chain e-mails.
Bryan Keelin of Charleston, S.C., who works with an organization of churches there, posted on an Internet board his suspicion that Obama is a Muslim. “I assume his father instructed him on the ways of being a Muslim,” said Keelin, who described himself in an interview as a conservative Republican who will vote for former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee.
“The Muslims have said they plan on destroying the U.S. from the inside out,” says one of the e-mails that was posted recently on a blog at BarackObama.com, the campaign’s Web site, by an Obama supporter who warned of an attempt to “Swift Boat” the candidate. “What better way to start than at the highest level, through the President of the United States, one of their own!”
I love the way this is framed: “Despite his denials, crazy assholes on the Internets are still accusing him of plotting to implement Sharia law upon being elected.”
And speaking of crazy assholes, let’s see if our old buddy Foehammer has written about Barrack Osama’s dastardly ties to the Demon Crescent. Uh-oh! It appears that he has:
In recent days I had the question posed to me: “Is Senator Barack Obama secretly a Muslim?” […]
Obama doesn’t drink. That’s a red flag, believe it or not. He does smoke though, as I mentioned before. Oops. Another red flag. Why? Well, alcohol consumption is taboo in Islam, but smoking is anything but: smoking fine, drinking baaaaad. Just coincidence? […]
The bottom line is this: Barack was influenced by Islamic teachings in his formative years (the Indonesian school in question teaches ages 6 to 12). This is not the chemical mixture for someone that I want to see holding a seat of any type in the White House.
So there you have it. The Washington Post is now giving voice to some of the craziest assholes in the entire crazy asshole world. Thanks, guys. Maybe next week you can write a science story that gives equal time to real geologists and the Hollow Earth crowd. Losers.
UPDATE: Holy crap. This turd was printed on PAGE 1 of the Post today. That entire paper needs to fire itself.
UPDATE II: See also Digby.
“The Muslims have said they plan on destroying the U.S. from the inside out,” says one of the e-mails that was posted recently on a blog at BarackObama.com, the campaign’s Web site, by an Obama supporter who warned of an attempt to “Swift Boat” the candidate. “What better way to start than at the highest level, through the President of the United States, one of their own!”
Yeah, I just bet that was an Obama supporter. In the same way our concern trolls are faithful leftists.
I’ve pretty much decided that the only thing more important than getting a non-Republican into the White House is to take all the owners, publishers, editors and reporters of the NYTimes, Washington Post, the newsweeklies, and the news networks, put them in a rocketship, and launch them into the sun.
If we can do that, then we have a slim chance of saving the country. Otherwise, we’re toast.
The worst part of this is that there’s no way Obama can “prove” that he is not and never has been a Muslim. He may be a slick, eloquent guy, but he still can’t prove a negative any more than anyone else can.
Obama doesn’t drink. That’s a red flag, believe it or not.
I wonder how he feels about the equally abstemious George W. Bush. OMGZ TEH MOZLEM HORDES!1!1!!
I wonder how he feels about the equally abstemious George W. Bush. OMGZ TEH MOZLEM HORDES!1!1!!
That does it! The only way to keep America safe is to elect a raging, stinking drunk as president!! BRADROCKET ’08!!!, bitches!!! My candidacy is hereby announced!!!
“Perry Bacon, Jr.”? I don’t read the Post, but is that byline real? I hope it is. In my mind, I can substitute Perry Bacon for Perry Mason. Then he and Hamilton Burger always get along swimmingly, always come to an out-of-court settlement, yielding a more boring but far more delicious show.
That does it! The only way to keep America safe is to elect a raging, stinking drunk as president!!
This may be the only way to get Republicans to vote for Ted Kennedy.
I have led a sheltered life. I truly didn’t realize people as demented as this Foehammer guy are allowed out of their straightjackets. And permitted to send communiqués to the outside world. I’m going back into my nice safe bed now and I’m taking two of the cats with me.
I don’t expect much from the Post anymore, but in the words of George Oscar Bluth II: “Come on!”
Ain’t much difference no more.
And the wingnutosphere still considers the Post liberal… but then some of them consider Little Green Footballs left-wing.
All he has to do is have his photo taken snorting cocaine of a stripper’s boobs.
Problem solved…
Blowhammer:
Not smack (that’s heroine, by the way) though
You smack a heroine and she’ll kick you in the balls!
I believe ‘Peruvian marching powder’ is some kind of antagonist.
“I assume his father instructed him on the ways of being a Muslim,”
You see, Islam is a virus. If someone tells you about it as a child, you become infected and unable to serve as President 40 years later.
Isn’t this the same crowd that said anything you do before 40 is untouchable?
Oh, Fudgehammer. How I’ve missed him. I hope he never goes to an AA meeting — tons of non-drinking chain-smokers, the organization must be overrun with Muzzies!
I have reason to doubt the veracity of this Obama/Muslim story from Perry Bacon, Jr.
This is due to a rapidly spreading rumor on the Internet that Mr. Bacon is a convicted child rapist.
Has anybody else read this rumor? Is it true? If it isn’t true, has Mr. Bacon denied it? If he has not denied it, should be assume that it is true?
Shorter Washington Post:
We are no longer a real news organization.
And what about Romney? He doesn’t drink either.
Then again, when you’re a Toehammer, everything looks like a toenail.
No, it *doesn’t* make sense. Because it makes a higher sense.
How do these people fail to see how tight Bush is with the Saudis? The Saudi royal family is already staying at the Bush ranch, but they’re worried about Obama? Hell, Huck probably believes in the “it was grape juice, not wine” crap about Jesus that many fundies spew. Not to mention that Mormon Mitt doesn’t drink or smoke ANYTHING. But yeah, it’s Obama.
The Obama slam is easy to find. Try to find WaPos coverage of breaking scandals on Giuliani. It’ll take some work
For a real scandal, it should be noted that the entire government of Iraq, for which we have sacrificed the lifeblood of thousands of our finest citizens, is almost entirely populated by Muslims, and that Iraq’s constitution, which we have spent billions of dollars defending, categorically states that no law may be enacted that is contrary to the laws of Islam. The mind reels.
Despite his repeated denials, rumors still persist that Perry Bacon regularly has intercourse with dead pigs. Mr. Foehammer could not be reached to counter allegations that he gets sloppy seconds, which will only fuel suspicions that he’s back in DeTox.
You know, I’ve heard a rumor on the Internets that Perry Bacon Jr. might have violated several goats in his youth. Now I don’t know if this is true, and I don’t have the evidence to prove that Perry Bacon Jr. has done any goats before. But if it were true, then such rumors could lead to him being fired from the Post
Of course, I’m not spreading any rumors or anything. I’m just saying that I heard some people who heard some guy say that Perry Bacon Jr. sexually violated several goats in his youth, and felt a need to report on it.
True, Perry may say that he didn’t screw a goat in his youth, but that’s just his interpretation of an event from his own life, and it is my journalistic duty to take down the points of both Perry who may say that he did not violate any goats versus the hundreds of people on the Internet who say he screwed several of them. Without checking, I can say that the truth lies somewhere in the middle and it’s up to the reader to figure out whether or not Perry Bacon Jr. fucked several goats in his youth.
Yeah, speaking of Giuliani, did y’all hear that he illegally used taxpayer dollars to take his mistress to the Hamptons? You KNOW the media can’t resist a good sex scandal.
Let’s look at CNN.com
Child having scars removed
Millions of “botnet” victims
Confederate flag controversy (whoah, flashback)
Man dies from cell phone explosion
Missing teen had porn past
Old woman’s money blows away
Man’s sex act in store displayed on web.
Doc’s porn stash found decade after death
Maybe not on the main page, but surely on the politics page…
Poll: Giuliani standout on terror
Huckabee mixes faith, politics
Poll: Giuliani leading in Florida
Was Obama too honest about drugs?
Clinton, Obama slugfest gets nasty
WHAT. THE. FUCK. happened to our news?
“This is the sort of thing I expect to read in Newsmax or WorldNetDaily, not in the damn Washington Post:”
Sorry to say this, but where have you been the last couple of years to be surprised at this? D.C. has two major newspapers, the extreme right Washington Times and the far right Washington Post. This is s.o.p. for them.
Based on extensive consultation with Alec “Crazy Neck” Rawls and use of MacPaint, I’ve concluded that you are disparaging the entire anti-islamofeminicommunifascist movement by printing the book cover so that the mihrab does NOT point to Mecca!
Shame on you, traitors!
Does Obama drink coffee? I think he’s coffee consumption habits would be quite telling.
The Giuliani story made the NY Times. In the New York/ Regional section. Breaking news, for sure.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/29/nyregion/29campaign.html?em&ex=1196485200&en=7645a09e7c9032c9&ei=5087
What about Perry Bacon Jr’s child molestation convictions? There are rumors on the internets, after all, so this needs to be looked into by serious journalists.
The question for me is “Why is the Wash Post so desperate to spike Obama’s campaign?”
Looks like somebody’s panicking about Iowa.
Hmm, no mention of Obama’s wardrobe being picked out by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. The WP’s standards of journalistic excellence must be slipping.
Rufus: you see, they don’t care about constitutions, ours or theirs. So that Muslim stuff in there is just a piece of paper, see?
All authoritarians care about is power.
IDIOT. Doesn’t he realize that anyone who has ever studied algebra or computer algorithms has been “influenced by Islamic teachings” in their formative years? I’d sarcastically suggest that we remove algebra from the public schools due to Al Khwarizmi’s obvious Iraqi, Iranian, and Islamic connections, but I’m afraid that the Freepers would actually take me seriously…
I don’t think the Giuliani adultery/fraud story will hurt him much with primary voters, Johnny. They don’t give a fuck about the latter and with the perception lately being that your typical Republican politician has been hit in the chin with more balls than Carlton Fisk in his long career, a hetero sex scandal must seem like a huge relief.
Al Jebra is a mooslim plot to infiltrate our children’s minds with non-European/Judeo-Christian teachings! Each quadratic equation solved is another step towards Dhimmitude! Wake up, America!
These people are nucking futs.
“You gotta worship god if you wanna be president”
Ok, I do.
“Not THAT god. This one”
Oh.
“You gotta go to church every week if you wanna be president”
Ok, I do that too.
“Not THAT church. Not that other one either. Only this one”
Oh.
“You gotta pray every day if you wanna be president”.
Ok, I do that.
“Not like that. You gotta pray like THIS”.
Oh.
“You gotta follow the religious teachings if you wanna be president”.
Ok. I don’t even drink.
“You WHAT? You GOTTA drink if you wanna be president”.
Crazier than my sainted mom….
mikey
Prove it.
The precious concept of zero was kept alive by those wacky Islamic scholars. If people want to discredit half of the concept of binary that powers their precious modern life, well, they can. As long as they promise to stop using computers. Because binary is half zeros, one of those wacky Arabic constructs, much like base 10 math.
So what’s the Post going to do if Obama shows up tomorrow munching on a (haram) bacon cheeseburger? Four-inch headline? Multiple columns above the fold? Words of caution from obscure right-wing bloggers who point out that, well, we don’t *really* know that it was real bacon instead of soy bacon?
I just want to know if they’re going to keep us updated on the vital issues of the day.
Some on the left are claiming that Mike Huckabee is a closeted homosexual and that Mitt Romney is actually a space alien.
The Huckabee campaign dismisses the gay charge as unfounded, but the Romney camp has been strangely silent on the issue of whether their candidate is actually from another planet.
Clearly the Post will be discussing these allegations on their front page Any Day Now.
the Romney camp has been strangely silent on the issue of whether their candidate is actually from another planet.
At a minimum Romney has aspirations to be a space alien. It’s a Mormon thing.
It just occurred to me; If Obama is a Muslim then he can only be a member of one sect seeing as how he has, otherwise, committed apostasy, a capital offense, by claiming to be a Christian. Thus this perfidious crypto-Mohammedan can not be some run of the mill Shiite or Sunni Allah worshipper but, rather, a member of the Ismaili sect and, furthermore, a follower of Hassan-i-Sabbah. Also note his admitted use of marijuana…
Look, he’s obviously a dope smoking Hashashin assassin who will move the capital of America to Alamut after forcing us all to convert or die and that’s the only logical conclusion any right thinking person can come to.
That’s just for Republicans. You liberals, always wanting special rights that are reserved for OUR constituents.
Liberals. Hmf.
I heard that Perry Bacon, Nedra Pickler, and Hamilton Burger make a wonderful human sandwich. Every afternoon, just after lunch.
Now some Republican’ts deny this, while some support the triumvirate during their daily sandwich making activities. I personally am not knowledgeable enough about this sort of thing to be able to tell which group of Republican’ts is correct, I’ll just have to leave it at that for now.
*whew*
He’s Muslim. I thought he might be Puerto Rican!
Just make sure you don’t replace Hamilton Burger with Sandy Berger. The grittiness can lead to painful chafing.
Bernard Chazelle used to say on his homepage that he was a “follower of the radical Muslim thinker Al Khwarizmi” (or words to that effect), but he’s removed it. Perhaps not everyone got the joke.
BREAKING!!
Quasi-reliable source believes it saw Perry “Makin” Bacon engaging in lewd behavior with a Maine Coon cat.
Mr. Bacon claims cat hair on his pants from family “pet.”
Maine Coon? He’d be suffering some serious blood loss if that were the case.
It was probably a Pomeranian he was buggering. Easy mistake to make.
Holy shit! I didn’t teh Anvil o Trvth could get any goofier. Reading this sight gets kind of depressing sometimes. Before I found you I had no idea that people this stupid really existed in such numbers. I mean, God they can’t be serious, can they?
Has this tool Fouxhammer never seen “the Manchurian Candidate”? If “The Muslims” were to put in a plant as Preznit it would be some Jingoist Arch-Conservative, who would erode Americas position in the world by alienating as many foreign countries as possible. At the same time wasting our strength and ruining the economy in costly, unnecessary wars. Not to mention undermining every thing that supposedly makes this country so great. Who does that sound like, oh Smiting Hammer of Truth?
Well, pardon me for not hating on Rudy, I just would rather him reduce all chance of Mitt or Huck getting anywhere close to the White House. I mean face it, there is a chance, and there should be none whatsoever.
Uh huh. What would Johnny Smith do if he found that not one, but four Greg Stillsons were all running for President at the same time?
Point taken, but still.
Lots of Christians don’t drink: Baptists and Methodists are mostly teetotalers, and prohibition was largely Christian-motivated. Of course, Mormons also don’t drink, but have we seen any “Romney is a crypto-Muslim?” Didn’t think so.
I think Romney would benefit from being a crypto-Muslim.
“Willard of Arabia?” I think that won the crotte d’or at Cannes.
Ah, remember the scene when the rats all come up over from behind the sand-dune…
Well, “B. Hussein Obama,” as someone (Coulter?) likes to call him, may not be a Muslim, but he’s certainly not a “Christian,” at least not according to http://www.renewamerica.us/columns/swank/071009 one Grant Swank.
Sorry. Linkus non workus, as we tech types say.
Child having scars removed
Millions of “botnet” victims
Confederate flag controversy (whoah, flashback)
Man dies from cell phone explosion
Missing teen had porn past
Old woman’s money blows away
Man’s sex act in store displayed on web.
Doc’s porn stash found decade after death
Lyrics for the next King Crimson album
Would it be irresponsible to speculate that Perry Bacon Jr. is in fact a pedo-homo-necro-bestiality enthusiast, ex-convict, and delicious human sandwich topping?
It would be irresponsible not to.
For fucks sake. A front page article with it’s main source being some chain emails and containing phrases like “received training in Islam”. What did they train him in? Reciting passages from the Koran in under 10 seconds?
I have this email here from some Nigerian fellow who needs some aid with is fortunes . Looks like an excellent investment. Maybe Bacon Jr. wants to give that a try.
“he would take the oath of office using a Koran, rather than a Bible, as did Rep. Keith Ellison (D-Minn.), the only Muslim in Congress, when he was sworn in earlier this year. […]”
Yeah. This was prolly mentioned by someone above, but in case it hasn’t: Congressmen (peoples. Whichever) aren’t worn in on ANYTHING. Any ceremonial use of any religious text is not official in any capacity.
Top notch journalism, there, WaPo!
Anastasius, you have to be able to field strip and re-assemble a mosque minaret in 30 seconds. That’s hard core, man.
What would Johnny Smith do if he found that not one, but four Greg Stillsons were all running for President at the same time?
Use a semi, not a bolt-action.
It’s definitely time for Muslim armbands, down to the 10th degree of consanguinity, isn’t it. I mean, how else are we going to know who’s the ENEMY?
Crazy assholes need a message from sendahole.com.
Raymond Shaw is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.
Whoa, what? where did that come form?
phrases like “received training in Islam”
I think they think it is an actual place.
This is not the chemical mixture for someone that I want to see holding a seat of any type in the White House.
Of course this leaves one wondering, what chemical mixture does Foehammer want to see? Opiates and methamphetamine? Or perhaps that is too traditional, and Foehammer would prefer one of the cyberpunk combinations like vasopressin and GABA-blocker.
It is clear that Obama purposefully wants to preserve ambiguity about his religious preferences. If he wanted to clearly indicate that he is a Christian, he would have adopted a *CHRISTIAN* name instead of the overtly *MUSLIM* “Barack Saddam”. There is a long biblically sanctioned tradition of heathens changing their names upon becoming followers of Christ (particularly if their original names are offensive), for example Simon->Peter, Saul->Paul. So there is a lot of legitimacy in questioning Obama’s religious proclivities.
It is clear that Obama purposefully wants to preserve ambiguity about his religious preferences. If he wanted to clearly indicate that he is a Christian, he would have adopted a *CHRISTIAN* name instead of the overtly *MUSLIM* “Barack Saddam”.
Like Yeshua.
[…] if only those rumors about him being a stealth Muslim candidate were true, I’d have my dream man. Nothin’ […]