The war is won without a single battle engaged.

Holy mackeral.

You know what saved my soul from being sucked from my body as I sat there stunned?

I realized the Director, Producers, Editors, and Actors very likely had to sit through that thing at least a dozen times or more(hopefully) but I would be able to stop it once I had regained higher motor functions.

22 seconds of excruciating pain to be sure but still…

I’ll never forget when Amy Chua defeated Rakim in the Five Boroughs Freestyle-a-Thon in 1986.

That’s oddly endearing, I think. Either that, or “The Song That Never Ends” destroyed my soul, and now I’m just a dessicated lump.

Y’know, I’ve sat in creative meetings where such idiocy as that is seriously proposed.

Typically it is rejected very quickly as being a path to large – scale corporate embarrassment and near instantaneous loss of a lucrative MarCom gig.

But people will come up with painfully stupid things, and sometimes, for reasons not clearly understood in the communications community, any firewall built of professional pride or actually efficacy will occasionally break down, and the outcome is something like this.

Very quickly realizing it is a terrible, embarrassing black eye, it disappears overnight into a media vault somewhere, never again to see the light of day.

It also doesn’t show up in the production shop’s portfolio…

mikey

Finally, someone breaks out and moves beyond old grannies rapping to new heights of…. stiff Asian executives rapping.

I’m trying to imagine a universe where this would be good.

Ouch.

You can’t fool me! I’m not clicking a damn thing except the next post.

InsaneInTheCheneyBrain, if it makes you feel any better, it looks like the MDA is a government agency, not a private company. It’s charged with the task of “putting Singapore at the forefront of the media age.”[1] I’m sure we can all agree that it’s well on the road to its goal.

1. http://www.mda.gov.sg/wms.www/aboutus.aspx

Awww – they’re having such a good time doing it, I’m with Jeff.

Still, I would’ve liked to see Flava Flav pop up, yelling “Yo, Chia, yo! I don’t think they believe you about Singapore-made content!”

Best. Video. Evah.

I hope I would have the dignity to resign before performing in something like that.

It would have almost worked if Pam Hu had dressed as a dominatrix and threatened to cane Sumner Redstone like Michael Fay.

Are you fucking insane?? What if somebody with less mental fortitude than your regular readers clicks on that video? Jeez, don’t be so irresponsible and unserious!

Well I liked it. [Ducks to avoid pelting with rotten fruit etc]

No, really. Okay, it wasn’t my favouritest song evah, but it had a certain charm. Asian cultures are different from uptighty whitey folks, you know. They have more fun. They’re less repressed. Karaoke is popular in Korea, Japan, China, and Hong Kong, and may well be in other Asian countries for all I know. Management there have no shame about getting completely rats-arsed (drunk, for those of you who can’t speak Aussie) and crooning into a microphone for the edification of the junior staff.

And I think there’s something endearing about a boss who’s willing to look like a dickhead on national television. I mean intentionally, not thinking that he’s being cool or smart or invincibly right.

Okay, go back to throwing stuff.

Wow! That Deputy CEO was smokin’ in his hoodie and chains!

I also liked how the CEO rhymed “one” with “everybody” instead of “everyone”. That and the fact that the Community and International Relations person’s car was on fire. Yum! Symbolic!

Cassandra Tay is yummy.
Other then that … I know white men can’t jump, but asian men can’t even shuffle. That was some mean boogie in that there ‘performance’

I watched the whole damn thing with a giant smile on my face. I loved every second of it. So endearing.

Regarding the CEO rhyme, he actually does rhyme “everyone” with “one” (and “everybody” with “city” (which wasn’t pretty). It was an A B A B rhyme.

They call me CEO, here me out everyone,
my aim, a vibrant media hub for the city,
singapore made content to be number one,
media choice and jobs for everybody,

But, the best, by far was “the numbers girl,” Heng Li Lang. When she says, “Market trends, thats like my very best friend, My eyes on KPI’s every now and then,” its fucking sick. I want a video of just her.

OK. Wow. On second thought, I just watched that 4 times straight and wasted about 20 minutes of my life.

Sadly, No! is evil.

Actually, if you want to really make that vid work, play it with the volume down while playing “Fool for the City” really loud.

Now that’s magic…

mikey

oh god oh god

That video needs somethign to take it beyond the absurd, like a cameo by Snoop Dogg, or maybe Busta Rhymes.

“my eyes on KPI every now and then”

dropping science like galileo dropped the fucking bomb.

BBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

next up: Arthur Anderson and Co. Speedcore video from 1983.

Fool for the City? Oh my. I’m gonna go put on some scary platform shoes and do a little low-impact headbanging now.

The problem with watching a china-man rap videos is that two hours later you want to watch them again.

(‘Two Hours Later’ concept lifted from Mad Magazine’s take on ‘Kung Fu’)

…but it had a certain charm. Asian cultures are different from uptighty whitey folks…

April 2003: me wandering Bali Airport’s departure lounge, awaiting the long flight home. This was 6 or 7 months after the Kuta bombings. Shock & Awe had begun weeks earlier; SARS hysteria was in full media roar.

It was an anxious and discouraging time for travellers. The airlines were hurting.

I heard singing … a group of singers … not the piped-in music. I’m killing time; better check it out. A flight crew was gathered at a departure gate (Cathay Pacific, IIRC, captain, co-pilot, attendants, all Asians). One fellow had a guitar and they were singing “Take Me Home, Country Road” as the passengers entered the boarding tunnel.

Goofy, sure, but you had to smile.

Ok, ObPro.

Enough with the stories that make me tear up.

I’m an old man with a bucket of sad.

I LIKE shit like that….

mikey

Oh, me too, mikey…

I mean Harry…

That wasn’t my flight but the vibe helped me weather a very arduous 36 hours getting back to Canada.

Let’s see: wearing surgical masks and sleeping on the floor in the Bangkok airport; my Swiss knife confiscated in Tokyo; searched and interrogated at LAX; trapped beside smelly dude on one leg; crazy woman who had to be subdued on another.

I heard singing … a group of singers …

1986. Tianjin, China. A group of expats singing “Those Were the Days, My Friend” to a girl who was weeping at the train station, preparing to board for home (Germany via Mongolia & the then USSR). Good times, actually. Seriously good times.

objectivelypro, that’s so cool. And Smiling Mortician.

As for the “Asian guys can’t dance”, well, dat’s crap. Check out Leon Lai Ming shakin’ his funky groove thayng (get to about 2.13 for the really vigorous stuff). Or Aaron Kwok (and if you want some musical softcore, check him here. Lordy lordy. And yes, there is a thriving slash fiction community for the likes of these guys).

[…] is dedicated to The Hon. Dr. St. Rev. Bradley S. Rocket, Esq, PhD, MD, over at Sadly, […]

I dunno – I thought that was awesome, quite sincerely. The stilted English and “jobs for everyone” sentiments were as others mentioned, endearing. The art direction I thought was very interesting throughout. And the poses affected seem no more contrived than in most rap videos. Plus a good hook and a beat. A “9”.

Nylund,

You get some sort of award for not only repeatedly viewing the video, but analyzing the rhyme scheme!

I’ve got a half-full tin of sugar-free ‘Myntz!’ if you want them!

Seriously, thanks for the analysis and resulting laughter. I need all the laughs I can get!

It really wasn’t THAT awful, guys. I guess the imperialist swine in me still finds it endearing when peeps from consciously non-“down” cultures try to get jiggy with it.

And the video even gave me my new comment sig:

iJam, iRock, and Futurescape

That is why i stay tuned.

I am waiting for channel X.

Don’t forget the classic cover of U2’s “One” by the middle management tier of Bank of America:

Link didn’t work. It’s at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmIObmv2t6M

“#

Qetesh the Abyssinian said,

November 28, 2007 at 0:23

Well I liked it. [Ducks to avoid pelting with rotten fruit etc]

No, really. Okay, it wasn’t my favouritest song evah, but it had a certain charm. Asian cultures are different from uptighty whitey folks, you know. They have more fun. They’re less repressed. Karaoke is popular in Korea, Japan, China, and Hong Kong, and may well be in other Asian countries for all I know. Management there have no shame about getting completely rats-arsed (drunk, for those of you who can’t speak Aussie) and crooning into a microphone for the edification of the junior staff.

And I think there’s something endearing about a boss who’s willing to look like a dickhead on national television. I mean intentionally, not thinking that he’s being cool or smart or invincibly right.

Okay, go back to throwing stuff.”

I’m with her. Any boss willing to appear in something like this deserves our respect. I mean, they’re willing to “walk the walk” rather than just ordering some underling to do it after all.

Saw this a couple weeks ago. It knocks the socks off the PriceWaterhouseCoopers and KPMG efforts.