The Next Salvo In The War On Christmas
I’m afraid we’ve all been a tad derelict in our duties around here of late.
In past years, the denizens of Sadly, No! had already begun discharging their responsibilities as the vanguard of the War on Christmas Wehrmacht. This year, it seems we’ve been a little lax, for which you have our apologies. I would also like to offer you a present as a small token of penance.
“What?” I can hear you asking yourselves already. “But, Jillian, how can giving someone a present be a blow in the mighty battle against Christmas that all good liberals must wage? Surely, giving presents is part and parcel of what Christmas is all about. Have you betrayed us and our noble cause”?
Rest easy, my friends. For, while I do indeed have a present for each and every person who reads this, you need to bear in mind that the present is a link to every single known recording of the abomination that is the song “Last Christmas”.
You want it done punk? They have it done punk. You want it done reggaeton? They have it done reggaeton. In fact, I think the only version they’re missing is a Tuvalese throat singing version – but give them time.
Just try and have a Merry Christmas now with the strains of Bollywood “Last Christmas” stuck in your head forever.
Merry effin’ Christmas, losers!
Clif adds: Jillian, I see you and raise you one video.
I dare anyone to make it through the entire song which is, arguably, the worst Christmas song ever written.
Die. You. Heartless bastard!
[pours bleach in ears]
Where talent goes to die
The fact is, you hippies want to ban Christmas because you hate God and you hate America’s traditions which is why you hippies initiated the 1960s “cultural revolution”. Enjoy your kool-aid libs, I hope you choke on it!
I win! No, seriously, I totally wiggity-win. I did not know that song. In fact I still don’t know it, although by virtue (?) of clicking, I have now heard bits of it and my life will likely never be the same but still I . . .
Ah, hell. I know it now, don’t I?
Welcome my son, welcome to the machine!
Unless it’s that George Michael song, I haven’t a clue. And furthermore, I ain’t clicking. That’s how much I hate Jeebus and Chrissmus.
I very much enjoyed the “HO HO HO.” The wordplay these hippety-hoppers can muster truly qualifies as serious and thoughtful poetry.
Now that’s better, Arky. There’s a tune full of holiday spirit and good will.
Speaking of — anybody else a little concerned about the identity crisis that seems to have overcome Kevin? Same sentiments, same vocab, several different names. Is there someone we should call?
I had forgotten how awesome Wham!’s “Last Christmas” video was. Jillian’s post sent me searching for it.
The brooch. Oh, the brooch! I’m never gonna snowball fight again the way I snowball fought with you-u-u.
Is there someone we should call?
A gator.
T, tucking into tiresome trolls.
The main difference between liberals and Conservatives is that liberals refuse to admit they are liberal, instead they use catch phrases such as “progressive”. Even the democrat candidates for President refuse to admit they are liberal, it is as if liberals realize that being liberal is stupid and are ashamed of the fact that they are liberal. Conservatives on the other hand are proud to admit they are Conservative. We know that we are Right on all the issues. The Republican Presidential candidates are all claiming to be the most Conservative candidate running. We gladly admit that we are Conservative whereas liberals refuse to admit they are liberal. I guess that in itself proves that liberals are wrong about everything because they are too ashamed to admit they are liberal.
Never heard this tune. Never heard of this tune. Never going to hear this tune, either. As far as the rest of the War on Jeezis, I didn’t buy anything Friday, I didn’t buy anything Saturday, I didn’t buy anything today. I haven’t even left the house or gotten dressed since getting home from Thanksgiving & I’ll only be spending busfare tomorrow. So there, jeezis-fans & capitalist-scum!! Fuck Xmas!!
Jeez!@ There is such a thing as the war on decent music! Holy fuck! Why!?!?
Make no mistake about it. When Jesus our Lord comes back to earth he’s so gonna take a bullet from me.
Let’s see you resurrect from that, Savior man.
Ironically enough, I maintain, based on the evidence, that Dick Cheney must be an Alvian – after all, he did shoot that one guy right in the face.
Is it lame to still be a Sealab 2021 fan?
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(Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth) said,
November 26, 2007 at 5:22
Jeez!@ There is such a thing as the war on decent music! Holy fuck! Why!?!?
Try listening to the country top 40.
Is it lame to still be a Sealab 2021 fan?
Absolutely not, SL2021 & ATHF are still the best Adult Swim programs. It is, however, lame to know where the forums that discuss it are. (Sorry, but you asked, even though you were asking in an “I admit it, I am a lame geek” way.)
I, for one, think we should specialize. I’m not joining the War on Christmas Wehrmacht if it involves listening to that song.
I call Oberbootsmann in the Kampf against Columbus Day Kriegsmarine.
Who’s up for the Thanksgiving Luftwaffe?
Google is my friend, Bouffant.
Yeah, I know I am lame. Although I think I’m more of a nerd than a geek.
On my way to bed…think I’ll pop on an ATHF DVD to fall asleep to.
I didn’t realize that S,N! had its own version of Katherine Jean Lopez; but it does appear that this “Jillian” does fill the role of the clueless bimbo who posts way too frequently with way too little actual content. I wonder if she, too, possesses the weight and mental capacity of your basic beluga whale…
you hate America’s traditions which is why you hippies initiated the 1960s “cultural revolution”.
How old are you, Booger?
Just curious.
I think Booger learned about hippies from an encyclopedia.
Thunder–I can put up with some weird shit, but not canned crap. Play Tiny TIm all day, I’m OK. Pop (country or not) and I’m liable to take off into the woods like good old Skink Tyree.
Except for Chinese Pop from the 90s….I’m kind of into the late Gao Feng. Remember, Andy Lao has nothing on Gao, NOTHING!!
g–encyclopedia? Is he old enough to remember those either? Just wondering.
Ack, my link didn’t work. Gao Feng. There.
Dear, me, D-Chance. You must have had an unpleasant day. Otherwise why would you come over to a blog you’ve never posted at and make a gratuitously nasty personal comment about someone you don’t know?
You’re really not very good company when you behave this way. Now, why don’t you go home and have a nice drink to relax, and stop bothering nice people?
I’m getting started waging the war on Christmas – I put up a string of what appear to be Christmas lights on the front of my house. They’re really X-mas lights, and they’re the hippie new kind that only pull 4 watts per 50-foot string.
It will lure the rightards in close enough that they’ll get Godfarted by my agnosticism field.
Muhuahahahhahahahahaha.
Dear, me, D-Chance. You must have had an unpleasant day.
Almost as bad a day as saul, or tsisageya, or..
Could we have some troll disambiguation software, plz?
Do you figure these guys couldn’t find anyone who’d take their shit at the family get-together? Or perhaps they weren’t inivited?
Is it lame to still be a Sealab 2021 fan?
I recognize each of the words, but I’m apparently too lame to understand their combination. First time I’ve really enjoyed Mr. Estrada’s work. Unless the show has jumped the shark, I live in a cable-free zone.
Hah, I’ve caught open tags from g.
Hey, MO. While I am often guilty of leaving open tags, I didn’t THAT time!
I’m saying, it’s addictive. /wink
…Or contagious. I notice because my work is scripting webpages and you always make such an effort to correct. (Altough I think the stylesheets are more robust lately) I’d take you as a client any day. As opposed to the “web gremlins must have done it” type.
Gotta give a shout out to squidbillies.
A family of inbred squids tear the ass out of all creation in the North Georgia mountains. It’s not all drinking, brawling and reckless gunplay.
There’s a salve that’ll clear up them open tags in a couple of days Mo..
I wonder if Gavin or Brad or somebody could take a look at the IP addresses of the recent pie-eater infestation? I’m guessing kevin and bb are one and the same, but I dunno about saul.
I suspect I’m opening up a can of worms here, but what’s the difference between a nerd and a geek, Jillian? I’ve always been massively uncool myself, but I’m not familiar with uncool taxonomy.
I’m guessing kevin and bb are one and the same, but I dunno about saul.
Saul’s dropped some Kevinisms.
Fake Gary has some, too. Either they all get the same email, or they’re the same guy.
Sealab 2021 is awesome!
Though I do prefer The Venture Bros.
Saul is definitely the same as BB. I assumed that the Saul/BB troll was an adolescent, so I didn’t make the connection to Kevin… but then I never bothered to read Kevin, so I don’t know his style.
Nothing wrong with SeaLab, though I prefer Harvey Birdman.
New trolls please. This bunch is like five cent gumballs. We’ve chewed the flavor out of them and now it’s somewhere between depressing and nauseating and we don’t even have a wrapper to spit them into so we can dispose of them.
I apologize for any trolls that are my fault, truly. My run back into the fire to try to rescue anyone still clinging to sanity in wingnuttia really just riled them up more.
“They hate me, they really, really, hate me!” I have a statuette, actually.
Anyways, the last time I was there, some LGFers posted that they had spotted me posting at “lefty sites”. I told them off and haven’t checked back, but they were pulling comments from other sites of mine to post there to prove that I was (just as I’ve stated plainly at my own blog and at LGF etc.) more on the left.
So, sorry if I dragged them with me. I even didn’t link this site anywhere so that they wouldn’t follow, since my only blog traffic lately is wingnuts who read and then disparage me on wingnut sites. They’ll give up if you don’t throw scraps to them. Sorry again. Wow, I should update my “Chickens, Home, Roosting” post from a while back. Fucking chickens, they keep coming home.
I was going to put in a shout out to Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law but D.Sidhe beat me to it. As for Sealab 2021, watching the Adult Swim take makes me feel better about the fact I watched the original festival-o-bad animation/no plot when I was a young ‘un.
However, no animated show will ever beat John Kricfalusi’s Ren & Stimpy for all out weirditude. Shame Nickelodeon had to fuck it up.
so I didn’t make the connection to Kevin… but then I never bothered to read Kevin, so I don’t know his style.
Always freindly/obnoxious. Keeps calling everyone a ‘hippie’. Keeps a sort of ‘upbeat’ tone. Doesn’t go for the jugular so much as attempt to be totally annoying, and wreck discussions through the sheer volume of posting, and the annoying-ness.
Kevin was surprisingly stoopid, but also somewhat stupid. That is, he/she/it acted as if they were considerably stupider than they actually were. They exaggerated their supposed stupidity as a defense, or as a way to be extra-annoying. If you pointed out that they are wrong, they would just pretend to misunderstand.
Booger uses similar terms, but seems much angrier. Booger appears more invested in what they are saying, and doesn’t use assumed stupidity as a defense, like Kevin did. They could still be the same person, someone should check IP addresses.
However, no animated show will ever beat John Kricfalusi’s Ren & Stimpy for all out weirditude.
Most overrated show ever.
Most overrated show ever.
I sort of agree – the first season was terrific, and after that it was just one embarrasingly sustained fart/puke/gay joke.
For the Adult Swim stuff, I’d vote Venture Bros. Metalocalypse is entertaining, and this new Xavier, Renegade Angel thing is some good solid nonsense.
I sort of agree – the first season was terrific, and after that it was just one embarrasingly sustained fart/puke/gay joke.
The weird part is that Kricfalusi was such a big fan of Bob Clampett and the Ren and Stimpy pacing was just leaden in comparison.
Yaa, what do you kids know about good cartoons anyway? With your Sailor Moon and Ghost in the Shell anime-is-an-art-form-not-a-cartoon!
Get offa my lawn!
I dare anyone to make it through the entire song which is, arguably, the worst Christmas song ever written.
Alright, Clif, I watched it, and then I sat through this rendition of the same song.
Yaa, what do you kids know about good cartoons anyway?
Ren and Stimpy first aired in 1991 you creaking nostalgia buff.
Has anybody seen Best Student Council?
Nope. Just downloaded a bunch of Lucy, Daughter of the Devil and we’ll see how it goes.
Our family has been prideful in our battle agains the consumerist evil that is commonly known as ‘christmas’.
However, this year we capitulate and will be installing a so-called ‘christmas’ tree.
It seems that we parental units can not withstand the incessant howling of our single-digit-aged children, whom, while they know that Santa Claus is fictional, still want to play with exotic ornaments in the hopes that they will receive fruits from the poisonous tree on the 25th.
Last year, all NEW toys that entered out house at said ‘christmas’ time were ALL recalled later in this year for one of two hazards:
A design flaw that put rare-earth magnets within swallowable reach of small children, or the ubiquitous lead-based paint that the Fed has mandated to coat all imported toys (this is done to ensure future generations of kids be stupid enough to vote Republican).
I thought Bastion Booger was a parody of the ingorant ‘conservative’ types, like he was portraying Eric Cartman at age 15.
It’s easy to do, just turn off all rational and thinking parts of your brain and let the stream of gibberish flow. Kind of like Mad Libs:
‘America was perfect until that commie bastard (fill in blank) ruined everything by (fill in blank) and single-handedly starting the hippie movement.’
‘Anyone to the right of John Birch is a commie fag hippie!’
See, it’s easy. The key is to not make any sense at all. If you find that your Mad Lib(eral) statement does make sense, then you’re just not doing it right…
I am Liberal and proud of it!
Comrade, I recommend Aqua Dots, if you can still find them. They are tasty and will make the kids forget everything about christmas.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bindeez
Sailor Moon? That was made in 1992 so technically it’s really what the “kids today” would be watching. Go to bed old man!
Clif, I couldn’t even make it past the part where Rob Reiner started singing.
J-, that’s a truely terrible rendition although it is so bad that you can’t understand the words, which is sad, because the words are the worst thing about the song.
I went looking for other versions of this song when I found this one.
While watching this I imagined that what’s really going on is that the kid’s doing a scam with his mom and they plan on returning the shoes — and lord knows what else — on the day after Christmas for cash.
the words are the worst thing about the song.
Best. I love that shit. Like Red Sovine.
because the words are the worst thing about the song.
Agreed. I just watched the third one, the one done as a film school project. Satisfyingly annoying, but for me the best thing about it comes in the comments to the director’s YouTube page.
Comment left by stumpmtsr, September 17, 2007.
Ack, ack ack!!! Why did I watch that? I feel like Thomas Kinkade just shit in my brain.
Brain and palate cleanser (the best, and I mean best, Christmas song ever…features drunks and Irishmen):
The weird part is that Kricfalusi was such a big fan of Bob Clampett and the Ren and Stimpy pacing was just leaden in comparison.
True. I wonder how much that had to do with working on a low budget and having to pad out as much as he could, and how much had to do with some artistic vision John K. had. I think the guy has – or at least at one point had – some talent but he usually comes across as a major egotistical dork.
And Ripping Friends was just cringingly bad except for the “Pungent Puss” bit at the end of one episode, which captured some of that early Ren & Stimpy charm.
On a different note, the War on Christmas has me confused. Only congress can declare war. Did they declare war on Christmas in some amendment or earmark to a spending bill some years back?
Only congress can declare war. Did they declare war on Christmas in some amendment or earmark to a spending bill some years back?
There was a very slippery Authorization for Use of Force against Christmas passed under Clinton, but the Liberal Media killed everyone who was trying to report about it until Bill O’ broke it wide open a few years back. They then tried to ruin him with the falafel incident but it didn’t work.
It’s amazing, given how weak and stupid we liberals are, how we manage to be all-powerful and control the media and stuff, isn’t it?
The worst Christmas song ever was written by my uncle, Johnny Macrae.
http://dmdb.org/cgi-bin/plinfo_view.pl?SYN065228
Uncle “Johnny” (his real name is Fred) was also a co-writer and one of the “Crypt Kicker Five” backup singers on Bobby Pickett’s famous “Monster Mash” songs.
I must say, I am a total whore for all Christmas music and have heard this song before. However, I argue that in fact the worst Christmas song of all time is the Cat Carol.
And on the note of wanting Mama to look good if she meets Jesus tonight… my father died 2 days before Christmas, so his funeral was held a few days after (Merry Christmas… and Happy New Year). My cousin wrote a poem and read it at his funeral called “I’m Having Christmas With Jesus This Year.” Aww! Sweet. That and his girlfriend’s insistence on playing “My Heart Will Go On” at the service (when he died of a heart attack) really added some welcome humor to the whole thing.
It’s been 7 years, and my husband and I will still say, “Looks like that houseplant will be having 4th of July with Jesus this year!”
the worst xmas song ever is springsteens santa claus is coming to town. its the definition of plodding and never ending at the same time.
pdtg oekugxy kotgyauv twkvqd bmejztq xkhluqfr ziskgh
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