Horse’s Ass Responds To Horse’s Mouth
Funny stuff, via The Horse’s Mouth:
(Brent) Bozell and (Tim) Graham are on a tear right now to prove that a fifth column conspiracy of liberal media elites is trying to destroy the country from within by elevating Hillary to the White House. As I noted here yesterday, the duo have a new piece in National Review that tries to prove this by pointing to an old Margaret Carlson article in Time magazine in which she allegedly described Hillary gushingly as “an amalgam of Betty Crocker, Mother Teresa, and Oliver Wendell Holmes.”
As I wrote here yesterday, however, a look back at Carlson’s article shows that she actually didn’t describe Hillary this way at all. Rather, she mocked Hillary backers for presenting her this way. This didn’t stop these alleged media critics from chopping Carlson’s quote in this laughably dishonest way, however.
Doy, of course not. When called out on the facts, Graham responds in the customary manner, by dumping out the Legos:
Before we even address the entirety of the article, let’s just address the two paragraphs in question.
See, when I was a kid, my two younger brothers and I had a shitload of Legos. We accumulated tens of thousands of those pointy little suckers over the years, and we kept them in a plastic wastebasket about three feet tall. Whenever you planned to get some serious Lego-building underway, you’d wrap your arms around the wastebasket, pick it up and stagger sideways under its weight, hoist it up quickly, and then upend the container to dump out the Legos in a tremendously satisfying caroosh of tinkling plastic. Then you’d start rummaging through the heap to find the parts you wanted, invariably getting distracted by some other pieces you’d gotten as a stocking-stuffer and forgot about, and the next thing you know, three days have passed and the pile of Legos has become woven into the entire surface area of the shag carpet. Sadly, it always took nearly as long to clean up the Legos as it took to build your space station or medieval village or whatever.
I think of that initial giddy rush of dumping out the Legos whenever I see a wingnut unpack his argument.
ABOVE: The Media Research Center, founded in 1987 by a group of young, determined
conservatives headed by L. Brent Bozell III, aims to bring balance and responsibility to the news media.
Exactly 858 words later, after switching unpredictably between meticulously literal and sweepingly generous data analysis, Graham concludes:
If Greg Sargent thinks after all this that Margaret Carlson’s intent in this article was to mock Hillary and her friends, or that using one-sentence shorthand for this gooey article is out of context, then he should try reading everything Margaret wrote on Hillary for Time magazine in those early years. Perhaps he should read our whole “Whitewash” book. Or call Margaret up and ask her if she felt like Hillary was her feminist “mascot.” That’s what she said. That’s also in the book. “Mendacity” it is not.
Or perhaps Sargent should read everything that has ever been written by anybody, anywhere, at any time and in every language, including some that don’t even exist.
Maybe that would make him some sort of expert.
Blogs for Bush dumps it’s name…and no comment?
There really is kind of no point in attempting to engage wingers in some kind of good-faith argument. It’s like trying to arm-wrestle a pirhana. They’re simply not built for it.
*ahem*
piranha
So: Betty Crocker, Mother Teresa, and Oliver Wendell Holmes walk into the White House together. Suddenly, America disintegrates. Is that how the joke goes? It’s been a long time.
“‘Mendacity’ it is not.”
Perhaps. But idiocy, it definitely is.
Why would the liberal elite media want to elevate Hillary the Whitehouse? I thought she was Bush Lite, only without the “Lite”.
Oh, I remember doing that too. We didn’t quite have that many legos, and my father being the
cheapskatethrifty guy he is…we got an oversized bucket of…Mega Blocks I think it was.Our huge-ass mess of a toy were these interconnectable pipes and tubes (you know, the stuff the Internets are made from) that you fitted together in your own way and then dropped a marble at the top and watched it go through. Fun while it lasted…but of course no one wanted to clean up when it was over.
Thanks to the Intertoobs, I now have a mental image of a T.Rex waving its pathetic little fore-limbs at a tankful of piranha, challenging them to arm-wrestle. Who needs Gary Larson?
I would go out and get a piece of kelp off the beach and tie it onto a hunk of driftwood, and voila! Instant bullwhip. I could torment my sister for hours. Never had any legos, though…
mikey
Herr Doktor- while a million wingnuts bang Legos together, secure in the knowledge that if they have an eternity, eventually one will randomly assemble a bitchin Millenium Falcon ….
Christ I hated Legos. Was there a worse toy ever invented? I had a neighborhood friend who loved those annoying little plastic pieces. Needless to say, he was also an inveterate Star Wars fan and Trekkie.
Fucking loser.
Never a Lego guy. Ever.
And proud of it, dammit.
No fair! Those guys in the photo have green propellers!
Great photo/caption, by the way.
This blog rules.
Never had Legos. I did have that marbleworks toy where you build a huge structure and watch the marble go down. My mom got it for me when I was 30 because the previous Christmas she had gotten one for my 6 year old nephew and I spent the whole day playing with it. I have the coolest mom.
Blogs for Victory?
Are they fucking serious (thanks for the link JohnO), I mean, what the fuck are they gonna blog about, the goddamned Patriots and Red Sox?
“Blogs for Victory”
Is that going to be the official Noonan campaign blog?
You’re welcome. Funniest blog-name change of all time, I say.
Pure irony-free genius.
Frankly, I don’t know how they do it. It’s like this site, but everyone at BFV is retarded. I mean, “intellectually challenged.”
Bizarro-Genius!!!!
Damnit!! Our revolutionary communications director of the internationalist socialistofeministofascist revolutionary subversive sleeper cell forces, Margaret Carlson, has been found out!!! NOW who will send us our secret organizational messages through obliquely worded and banal opinion essays?
I did have that marbleworks toy where you build a huge structure and watch the marble go down. My mom got it for me when I was 30
What a
coolcruel mom.El Cid:
Maureen Dowd. Her’s will be encrypted by her hatred of women, but she’ll get the message across.
Worry not.
So that’s what a meta’s for!
Shalom gentlemen.
the first protozoa to crawl out from a volcanic vent at the bottom of the ocean had a totally liberal bias. don’t worry, brent is on the case, going down in a bathysphere to prove that the tubeworm army is pro-rush limbaugh and the Vent Crab times refuses to report the truth.
BugMeNot has a login and pass for the Graham/Bozell site.
It is true indeed that there is a leftwing media conspiracy to elevate Hillary Clinton to the White House. The elite drive-by media such as NBC, PMSNBC, CNN and the New York Times have not run a single add that has been negative of Hitlery. However they constantly run negative adds about the Republican candidates and President Bush. The drive-by media deserves to become extinct like the dinosaurs that they are. The New Media, talk radio, the blogs and Fox News are going to fill the vaccum left by the now irrelevent “mainsteam” media.
Why did Michelle Malkin’s face flash before my eyes when I read the phrase “Vent Crab?” Am I a bad person? Is that it? Cause I can take it the truth; it’s cool.
I myself was an Erector Set kid; those teeny wrenches and bolts and pulleys and motors. Nerd heaven.
Blogs for Bush dumps its name…and no comment?
I know, I’ve been waiting for one, too. In the meantime, I’m just laughing at how fucking stupid Noonan & Co are. “Blogs for Victory.” Criminy.
Hey Saul: 1993 called – it wants its New Media back.
Saul. Asshole.
Can I prevail on you for an explanation? If you can find it within yourself to speak coherently for a change.
Why do you come here? We laugh at you. You are embarrassingly stupid, and you say positively idiotic things. Please tell me. What do you think you’re accomplishing?
Other than getting attention that might help you pull on your pathetic dick…
mikey
Speaking of Vent Crabs, here’s Saul! How’s that fake Rabbi think working for you Saul, old sock?
Other than getting attention that might help you pull on your pathetic dick…
It’s annie angel, it’s got to be. There can be only one (aka Grand Unified Troll Theory).
Has someone invaded this hotbed of Hillary support?
Don’t you people get it? Substituting “victory” for “Bush” isn’t a change: Bush is 100% WIN.
And the ship Gary means is the Knock Nevis. IN BUSH’S PANTS.
And I could not be happier Saul. When I had to sit and watch the news and come to my own conclusions I was like “Fuck this, I gonna get me some pie.”
Seriously, the MSM not telling me how to think is just laziness on their part. Now Fox News, there is a hard working network. Instead of presenting news it presents people’s opinions of the news. Smart people like Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly. They take the facts disregard the ones I don’t need and leave me with a ready made opinion I can use to look informed and impress my friends. I’m with you brother.
Dammit, the ship bit goes on the next thread.
Saul, it’s not all gentlemen here, you sexist pig! Are you hasidic, keep your wife pregnant all the time & make her wear a wig so no one can see her real hair?
And what do you mean: “have not run a single add [sic] that has been negative of Hitlery. However they constantly run negative adds [sic] about the Republican candidates and President Bush?”
I’ve seen Romney advertisements on CNN. And the ads are placed on networks & in newspapers by candidates or advocacy groups, through the sales departments, 7 have nothing to do w/ whoever makes editorial decisions. You’re making as much sense as fake Gary Ruppert. Did you get his script by mistake?
“Hitlery.” How clever you think you are. I thought Jewish people had respect for learning, literacy, etc. You must be the exception that proves the rule, but I didn’t expect a rabbi to the one to prove it.
kevin/saul is baaaaack.
I thought you banned this useless shiteater.
I guess he finally finished “mowing mom’s lawn” and after picking the pubic hair out of his teeth, he’s back to bore us to tears.
Kevvie-saul, I understand your unnatural desire (having read Freud) for the vulva of your own mother, but do you have to spooge all over this rather excellent blog?
Oh, and you’re a fucking liar about your gun ownership. We know your mommy won’t let you bring that in the house.
And you’re as Jewish as my German-Irish scrotum
I think Saul is as real a rabbi as Alan Colmes is a liberal.
Lincoln Logs™, Tinker Toys™ & an Erector Set™. Lead-painted wood & sharp metal w/ electricity!! No fairy Euro-Danish plastic blocks for this manly American!!
No wonder today’s youth are, dare I say it, “pussified.”
Saul & other trolls: 7 s/b &, above.
Saul, you’re not only embarrassingly stupid, as Mikey said, you’re also about as interesting and intellectually engaging as a glass of milk. Have you ever had a thought of your own or is it just easier to repeat whatever Limbaugh and Micheal Savage say?
And, I know this may come as a shock, but maybe the republican candidates look bad because they are bad. A worse collection of phonies, fascists, and amoral opportunistic panderers I’ve never seen. It ain’t the “liberal” media’s fault, except that it’s spinelessness has emboldened these scumbags.
In short: Saul, I have known Gary Ruppert. He was a friend of mine. You, sir are no Gary Ruppert!
Before one denounces a position as juvenile Lego antics the cautious should follow up with the Lincoln Logs test of fire before reaching a conclusion. Skeptics might want to ignite HotWheel Trax out of an abundance of caution
tinker toys for me, thanks.
And btw . . .
get a piece of kelp off the beach and tie it onto a hunk of driftwood, and voila! Instant bullwhip. I could torment my sister for hours
now I wanna meet mikey’s sister.
You folks had TOYZ?
Me and my siblings got to play in the middle of the road. IF we were lucky!
I think they’re a bit confused. “Blogs for Victory” or “BLOGS FOR VICTO( R )Y” — they may not be sure of the spelling. Perhaps they’ll want a bit of practice before the Mission Accomplished speech they have scheduled for that larger ship.
Yo, Smiling Mortician! mikey’s sister, whom I heretofore did not know existed, is mine, you prick!
Also, Saul/Gary/Loser, get a life even better than mine. At minimum I hang at blogs that agree with me, sort of, in general, not that that’s good or anything, but at least is is remotely sane.
And when I disagree, I can actually be persuaded!
What a moron you are.
Playing in the middle of the road?
You were lucky!
We drank our tea from a rolled-up newspaper1
BFV = Buncha Feeble Virgins
We used to DREAM of living in a corridor, gaspode!
“Lincoln Logs™,”
Now we’re talking real toys. If I wanted something Danish I would have had it at breakfast.
Lincoln logs could be used to make the best forts, abbatoire and defensive positions for the little green army men. Add to that the Guns of Navarone playset, and for a little warmonger like myself, well, let’s just say life was great.
Butt fucking vapors.
Big fiction veracity.
Backward vacous vapidity.
The list goes on.
Ah, damn, time to go to bed.
Hat’s off, y’all!!!!
You had DREAMS?
We would have been in paradise if we could have afforded enough sugars and proteins to supply energy to have dreams. We were lucky enough when random neuronal firings temporarily produced a flicker behind the optic nerve that we thought might be what light looked like.
You rotten spoiled liberal ivory tower elitists.
Saul has just put the media on notice. Look out!
They’ve been saying that for years but this time I am sure the wingnuts mean business
They aren’t going to malign children viciously, claim real press stringers aren’t real, claim the soldiers they claim to support aren’t real and generally pull anything they can out of their asses that doesn’t require them to strain their cookie dough tube-squeezing arm.
Lincoln Logs, Tinker Toys, Erector Sets (hur hur), Legos. All were quickly forgotten when mom turned me on to the coolest building set evAH: Capsela.
HumboldtBlue:
Does your name refer to the school, the county, the current, or the geographer? If it’s the first, I’m now flashing you the HSU Fighting Lumberjack high sign.
Johnny Coelacanth , I too had the erector set extravaganza ! My kids were the legomaniacs. Barefeet on legos in the middle of the night. Not good.
After awhile, did you ever get to the point where you just started bending the erector girders (Hercules style) to build some new shit ?
An object lesson in reading through teh comments too quickly:
John O said,
November 15, 2007 at 4:13
Yo, Smiling Mortician!
[ . . . blah blah blah . . . ]
What a moron you are.
Sadness ensues.
Guns of Navarone playset
Please tell me you made this up because if you didn’t, I’m all over that bad-boy.
Don’t get me started on that toys/cool war movies adolescent intersection !
Neocon Gold!
Bloviating Furtive Vurps
“After awhile, did you ever get to the point where you just started bending the erector girders (Hercules style) to build some new shit ?”
No, but I’d build unlikely contraptions with rubber bands and glue and erector set parts and give them names like “Yes” and “If.” People looked at me funny. But it was Texas in the early eighties; people were still bitching about The New Math. The weirdness quotient was WAY low.
Tim: Yeah! What the heck is with those damn Legos® always being on the floor in the middle of the night? That’s what I remember most from when my kids had their own 20-gallon plastic bin full of the blasted things. That and finding them here and there all over the house, between floorboards, under sofa cushions, multiplying behind the refrigerator, clogging up the air vents, etc., even now, 10 years after the last one left home. Why, when I was a kid we played with broken sticks and jagged rocks in the mud hole on the vacant lot down the street! Dang spoilt whippersnappers these days. No wonder we’re all goin’ ta hayell in a handbag.
Bifurcating Festive Virgins?
Oh, also: Someone, along with my own self, remarked upon the “Blogs for Bush” name change just the other day at this very blog. Oh, I remember how we scoffed at the nonsensical parenthesizing of the “R” in “Victory,” and the elusive meaningfulness of it all! Good times.
last night the kiddies got loose with the legos and built a tower. they then left it outside our bedroom (hey, they can’t come in when we are watching Dexter and that’s final) as some sort of god-propitiation thing.
plus of course the goat with its throat slit. that was just fucking weird.
“Johnny Coelacanth, postmodern architecture child prodigy”?
Optic nerve? Luxury. We had one light-sensitive eyespot that we had to share among the seventeen billion of us, and all that would do was sort of go hazy if something big enough and solid enough passed in front of it. If you were the lucky one and it was your day with the eyespot, the haze might come soon enough to trigger a reflex response in your cilia with a small chance of pushing you out of the way of whatever was coming, but more often than not, Brownian motion would carry you directly into its path. And of course the rest of us without the eyespot just got eaten.
Kids today, though, you’ve got it easy, what with your optic nerves and eyes and neurons. Bah.
By the way, speaking of kids and toys (or “kidz” and “toyz” for those of you who only speak Exxxtreme!!!), I can proudly announce that we have had all three of the recent major recalled toys — Polly Pocket, Magnetix and Aqua-Dots — and we are still allowing our kids to play with them. As we see it, our children are smart enough not to eat their goddam toys, and if any of their friends are not that smart, well, a little coma or gastrointestinal blockage might just do them some good.
plus of course the goat with its throat slit. that was just fucking weird.
Yum. Hang that fellah from the shower head, one long cut from genitals to throat, a little tug, and everything just drops out in one nice clean package.
Those legs are gonna be good, but now, cut the chops from the primal above the lungs. Pound it down to about an inch, season with salt,pepper and fennel seed, drizzle it with Worcestershire and beef broth, and put it in a slow oven for a few hours. Let it rest, slice it on the bias, serve it on a clean, basic fettuccine Alfredo and a green salad with sourdough.
Your kids should get a prize for that goat.
Yum…
mikey
Dan Someone: You’re really George Saunders, aren’t you? You’re making me laugh hard like George Saunders does.
““Johnny Coelacanth, postmodern architecture child prodigy”?”
O yah, dat’s me. And don’t forget indie music hipster, writer of rare caliber and orgasm inducer par excellance.
(Full disclosure: I have two 20 sided dice in my pocket right now. Sure, the kids were using them to play HeroScape, but they’re my dice, mine dear Ghu.)
Bush Fellating Vermin
Baghdad Forever Victory!
Bisexual Furry Vegans
“Tim said,
November 15, 2007 at 4:54
Guns of Navarone playset
Please tell me you made this up because if you didn’t, I’m all over that bad-boy.”
Tim,
A feast for your envious eyes. (The out-of-era figures aside)
http://www.thortrains.net/armymen/newpic04/navarone2.jpg
Saw that bad boy in the JC Penny Xmas catalog circa 1977 or so. The back was open, came with an elevator, guns for the turrets … the whole shebang.
He’s a fast one, that Margolis.
N.B.: Blogs for Victory has a Facebook group.
Betty Fucked Veronica?
Johnny Coelacanth, postmodern architecture child prodigy
Come here for all your postmodern Lego architecture needs!
Someone should introduce John O to the peace and quiet that is the “The Pie Script”.
Retinas. Don’t get me started on retinas. They’re not worth the trouble. A single light-detecting ganglion scanning back and forth in the focal plane behind the lens was always good enough for us. But you kids hear about a ‘retina’ from your friends, and suddenly you all need to have one. I hate advertising.
HubmoldtBlue said,
If I wanted something Danish I would have had it at breakfast.
Another fan of Carlsberg Special Brew.
“It is true indeed that there is a leftwing media conspiracy to elevate Hillary Clinton to the White House.”
Now I recognize Saul! He’s the kid who never got to play with the Giant Tinkertoys in my kindergarten classroom, because his parents believed that fun is the spawn of Satan. Still bitter over that experience, eh, school buddy?
HDB,
This week it’s St. Pauli Girl.
Tomorrow afternoon I have to go in for something called “Retinopathy”.
So, while I don’t know what’s wrong with the fuckers, I know I got ’em….
mikey
Doc Washboard
The name refers to the county. Although I did not attend HSU, I am madly in love with the Marching Lumberjacks.
Tomorrow afternoon I have to go in for something called “Retinopathy”.
Hope all goes well.
“plus of course the goat with its throat slit. that was just fucking weird.”
Actually, that was my favorite episode of Dexter.
“No, but I’d build unlikely contraptions with rubber bands and glue and erector set parts and give them names like “Yes” and “If.””
“Yes” and “If”. This story, JC, absolutely kills me. Thank you.
“Saw that bad boy in the JC Penny Xmas catalog circa 1977 or so. The back was open, came with an elevator, guns for the turrets … the whole shebang.”
One word Humboldt; awesome……let me just put my Anthony Quayle and James Darren figures in there.
Tomorrow afternoon I have to go in for something called “Retinopathy”.
So, while I don’t know what’s wrong with the fuckers, I know I got ‘em….
Mikey, I’m a vision researcher in my day job (such as it is) — specialising in colour vision — so I can imagine how you feel.
I myself was an Erector Set kid; those teeny wrenches and bolts and pulleys and motors. Nerd heaven.
Me, I was always a meccano kid, although like all nerd children I had a huge pail of lego too.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meccano
Where’s the love for Lincoln Logs?!
Lincoln logs, tinker toys, erector sets, and we had a set of those white plastic blocks that you could use to build buildings – they had little clear plastic one, too, like glas blocks, and they had red plastic window and door inserts. We were pre-Lego – there was a kind of proto-lego building block my neighbors had, but they weren’t like the modern legos. We’d mix em all up and make fantastic structures with them.
I do remember hours of searching carpets and heat registers for lost lego pieces for my kid – he who is now 185 lbs and 19 years old – the little guys, the tiny space helmets, etc. Oh, and how about Playmobile toys? Those were cool.
Oh, and how about Playmobile toys? Those were cool.
You too can thrill to the pleasure of plunging an imaginary toilet.
I never had legos, but did do the Lincoln Log thing. Absolutely kewlest build it set I ever had was called the Lectron Build it Kit (or something like that, Christ it’s been almost 40 years!). Basically it consisted of magnetic blocks with electrical symbols on them, and you aconnected them according to the schematics for the project you were building (radio, alarm, etc). It was awesome, and definitely started me on the road to geekdom.
We had a big old pail of Legos when we were kids. It’s probably still kicking around our folks’ house. I remember one Christmas we begged and pleaded for this huge-ass pirate ship. It was about the only thing we got that year, it cost $100 or so.
And then we had the Tinker Toys. Never could figure out why Momndad yelled at us not to run with one of those.
In the mid-to-late 80s, we started getting Construx, which were plastic beams and connectors and men and panels and stickers and things which you could put together to make construction vehicles, helicopters, spaceships, etc. That was a load of fun. I was so jealous when my brother got the alien set with glow-in-the-dark elements.
Erector sets… bah!
Our neighborhood had marbles. And a house built on a slight ridge (one corner 6″ off the ground, opposing corner 3′ off the ground). And we had our moms’ silverware. Months of excavation on that long mini-mountainsite, and we had ourselves the ultimate Marble Interstate Highway System! Roadways, tunnels, ramps, everything!
Mom lost a couple of good knives and a half-dozen spoons in the process; but, for the advancement of our glassy spherical transportation network, it was a small price for her to pay. Plus, the kids were safe, near home (heck, we were UNDER home!), within shouting distance.
Every year, some cartoonist will recycle the old panel about the parents struggling to put together the latest and most expensive fancy toy gadgets, unaware that their litte ones are having a blast playing with the box it came in, instead.
Oh, oh! And the Fisher-Price® Little People sets! They’ve been banned now cuz little kids could fit the figures in their mouths.
I loved the Fisher-Price® Little People. I used to play with the garage when my son was at school. It had a cool hydraulic-lift-like platform for raising and lowering the cars. There was this cute parking lot on top with a spiraling downramp. Okay, I’m starting to sound crazy so I’m done.
…..and the New York Times have not run a single add that has been negative of Hitlery…
Not very rabbiniac of you, rabbi. No tree for you.
Mark Twain once remarked of a Cpngressional speech he audited, “That speech is stolen! I’ve got a book at home with every word of that speech in it!” When challenged to provide evidence of the intellectual theft, Twain produced an unabridged dictionary!
I think that’s how it goes.
I loved a bit of Lego action. There’s nothing like a bit of architecture and engineering to make a girl happy. Plus, how else could one build the Brick Testament? If that had been around when I was young, maybe I wouldn’t have become a godless atheist islamocommunifeministlesbian!
Erector set? Isn’t that was Rush brang to the Dominican Republic?
I loved a bit of Lego action.
New Zealand has stricter censorship laws — that entire genre of videos is banned here.
Had the big basket of Legos. When I asked for an Erector Set my Dad pointed out that he owned a machine shop where I played every afternoon.
That was when I began to realize I might be a complete tool of Madison Avenue.
Also had a sandbox made out of an old wooden powerboat.
Bacon For Vaginas