Wow. That was awesome!

I especially love that little girl, who couldn’t get a job because she didn’t speak Spanish.

That’s something conservative liberatrians can really get behind — illegal immigration is getting so bad, it’s taking good jobs away from our 10-year-old children!

Maybe in the future, they can be more specific about the “qualified” people losing jobs to illegal immigrants.

I have an associates degree in fish gutting and a masters in table-busology, and I just can’t get a job in my field because I don’t speak Spanish. The job market has gotten so bad, I’m thinking of going back to school to get my certification in leaf blowing.

I actually do remember that one — and that’s saying something, since I haven’t had TeeVee since the early 1990s. Thanks so much for bringing it back into my consciousness. No, really. Thanks.

If elected, I would vote to let illegal immigrants burn and trample the flag, and then let their illegal immigrant puppies poop on it and then throw it at returning veterans.

Aaaie! Not the Floating Bi-Lingual Only Sign of Doom!

Let’s see. It isn’t quite 2008 and so far we’ve had illegal aliens blowing up malls, burning flags and grabbing their crotches in our general direction. Seems they’re setting the bar a mite high early in the season.

I guess by October 2008 we’ll learn that Osama Bin Laden is really a Mexican who illegally immigrated to Pakistan.

“Bilingual only”!!?? Oh nos. Everyone knows that dirty wetbacks are the only people intelligent and industrious enough to learn a second language! Oh, the injustice!

I’m bilingual. I speak English and American!

Here in Canada, if you want a government job that involves working with the public, you must be bi-lingual in French and English. It’s been that way for many years. No one seems to have much of a problem with it. If their French or English isn’t quite up to snuff, management will provide someone who’s language skills are better. Sometimes you might have to ask, but it’s done. What’s the big deal?

but this ad is the best of the batch.

You haven’t scratched the surface until you start mining the ridiculous ads from the recent Louisiana Governor’s race.

Here in Canada, if you want a government job that involves working with the public, you must be bi-lingual in French and English.

But we Amurkans done larnt the best language there am already, and shouldna hafta change our strategery just ’cause a’ some Mescans!

I like that it’s a white guy in dockers and a blue oxford shirt, losing a job to an “illegal alien.” What, is it maybe a Punjabi accountant that aced the guy out for a job? Or was he looking for a job on the sausage line at Farmer John’s pork slaughterhouse?

And the woman in pearls and a business-like sheath-dress crumpling up a rejection letter. Was she really vying for a job picking strawberries in Oxnard? Or are the corporate bosses now hiring illegal aliens as office managers? Yeah – they order the office supplies, answer the phones, run the monthly reports AND they clean the toilets! it’s a win-win!

Nice suit, Vernon.

It reminds me of a news lead-in I saw in Missouri that breathlessly warned,

“YOUR TAX DOLLARS ARE BEING USED TO BUY BOOKS THAT YOU CAN’T EVEN READ!!!”

with dark, creepy shots of towering bookshelves and souless librarians. Then it promised a thorough investigation of Spanish language books at the local library at 10.

A more pressing question for modern politicians is addressing how to keep employment posters from bizarrely flying up from their adhesives and defying the laws of space and perspective. You know how pissed I get when that happens walking down Main Street?

Ok, now wait just a freakin’ minute…

I’ve been hearing from conservatives all my life that anyone who can’t get a job is a victim of their own laziness. You know, you have to be able to adapt to a changing market, constantly upgrade your skillset, retrain, etc. so that you can remain competitive in an ever-changing job market. If you don’t, and the market no longer has need of your obsolete skills, it’s your own damned fault for failing to keep up with the times.

That’s been the refrain whenever any job market goes down.

So, if the market demands workers who can speak Spanish, you should learn freakin’ Spanish, right? I mean, you can’t expect some sort of government intervention on your behalf because that would be, like, socialist or protectionist or something else that would interfere with the Almighty Invisible Hand, right?

I live in a southwestern city. A large percentage of the population speaks Spanish as their first language. There are parts of the city where almost nobody speaks English. Businesses in these parts have a nearly-completely Spanish-speaking clientele. Why on earth would any of these businesses hire someone who couldn’t communicate with their customers? They don’t, hence the hiring requirement.

And all the time, I hear from aggrieved gringos who resent that they are simply less employable because they never bothered to learn the language spoken around them all the time, despite plenty of opportunities (beginning in grade school) to do so.

A friend’s 21-year-old son told me recently that he absolutely refused to learn any Spanish. He said it with exactly the same tone he used back when he refused to eat his vegetables or do his homework (I’ve known the kid a long time). So, you’re ok with limiting yourself and your employability, I asked him. No, but I shouldn’t have to learn Spanish just to get a job, he replied.

Tough shit. This is the job market in which you live; you can adapt to it by learning a new skill (and btw opening yourself to a whole new culture), you can accept a lifetime of lower wages, or you can move. Who told you that you were entitled to anything? Oh, yeah… a lifetime of being a white boy taught you that. Resent that lie, not the people with whom you live and work.

I mean, I’m not exactly fluent in the language myself, but you’ll never hear me blame anyone but myself for that, let alone feel resentment towards an entire population of people who are my neighbors.

Sorry for the long rant, but I’ve been hearing this sort of crap all my life, and a whole lot more in the last couple of years. I just really didn’t expect to hear it from this guy, who grew up in a Latino neighborhood here and is otherwise quite decent and humane. Oh, and his job is driving a city bus. Speaking Spanish would make his job a lot easier; in an emergency situation, his lack of Spanish could actually be dangerous. But he’d rather be worse at his job than he could be than break with his tribal sensitivity.

It’s been bugging me. I know it I should just let it go- when I was a dumb punk growing up in Miami, I’d had similar resentments. I’d had to let them go long before reaching age 21, though, since, duh, I lived and worked in Miami.

Oh, and speaking of awesome GOP ads…

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-9046151483602776897&q=2004+ad+wolves&total=21&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=1

Vote for Bush or be eaten by WOLVES!!!!

Drivers Licenses & Social Security: freebies?

Did Vernon Robinson win?

No, he didn’t (36% of the vote) & has vowed never to run again. Per Wikipedia, anyway.

…has vowed never to run again.

So maybe there is a god.

Ok, so what does it mean when I see “wetbacks” but read “webhacks”? Have I been at work too long?

“Bi-Lingual Only”? IT IS THE GREATEST INJUSTICE IN HISTORY.

I’m curious about the legislation to allow illegal alien child molesters into the States that Vernon’s opponent apparently voted for. I think I missed that. You’d think it would have been a big story. Dang liberal media!

No no, dark people don’t have jobs because they’re lazy but those dang liberals took away your job for them, just in case they want it, which of course, they don’t, them being lazy and all.

Dear Republican white male voter, it couldn’t possibly be your fault, as long as you keep voting the right way. Think of the voting booth as a confessional that punches your ticket to grace. If you’re not a Cath-a-lick, think pigeons and pellets, where you hit the bar marked “R” to receive the Pellet of Excuse.

The opening sequence is obviously a homage to Jesse Helms’ infamous “Hands” ad.

I think the reason Robinson lost was because his dastardly opponent allowed illegal aliens to vote. That’s the only reason I can think of, anyway.

I was gonna say, where’s the luv for Robinson? This and his other ads were self-parodies.

I had forgotten about that ad! an instant classic.

Maybe the voters in that district only vote for bilingual folks.

If you’re not a Cath-a-lick, think pigeons and pellets, where you hit the bar marked “R” to receive the Pellet of Excuse.

This image is perfection.

I especially love that little girl, who couldn’t get a job because she didn’t speak Spanish.

Apparently, she can’t read English either, since her dad appears to be reading the sign to her.
Lazy prick.

Man, Vernon must have still been steamed from that time that Brad Miller took the sign hanging on the wall in the restaurant where Vernon was a server and gave it to some illegal aliens who burnt it while flipping Vernon and his mom the bird and grabbing their crotches as they molested children and climbed over the Wall Which Shall Not Be Climbed!

The Bush “Wolves” ad is of course just a pale imitation of the Reagan Bear in the Woods ad from 1984. The Reagan ad apparently did well with focus groups, though when asked to explain the metaphor of the bear, many couldn’t. It’s a sign of Bush’s compassion that the “Wolves” ad tells you explicitly that his critters are Canus islamofascius.

Out here in CA I’m surrounded by foreigners with their foreign talk that I don’t understand. I mean hello, this isn’t Cabo here, you know. You’re in San Diego, so SPEAK ENGLISH. All through El Cajon, Encinitas, Del Mar, you can’t order a damn taco without knowing a whole nother language. And it’s not just in SoCal, but up in San Jose and Palo Alto even, and as far north as Alturas. I swear it’s like the Spanish speaking menace is taking over.

More seriously, I have occasionally made attempts to learn Spanish since moving to CA, most seriously when I had a huge crush on a woman who didn’t really speak much English. It’s a heck of a lot easier to learn another language when you’re younger.

My library (Montogmery County, Maryland) even has books in Chinese! Bought with taxpayers’ money! And a bilingual (at least) Chinese librarian! Paid with taxpayers’ money! What will they think of next?!

What cracked me up most about the whole, “books you can’t read” bit is, you have to wonder how many of the English-language books would be comprehensible to these people.

The ad didn’t have any white babies impaled on pitchforks, must have pitchforks….

Here’s the “Twilight Zone” ad, where Vernon dreams of a black and white past…with an emphasis on the white.

Oops, forgot to put in a link

It’s a heck of a lot easier to learn another language when you’re younger.

Or truly motivated, and/or have an excellent teacher. I’ve studied seven (count ’em! seven!) languages over the past 20 years and while I’m not fluent in anything but English, I can get by when necessary (read: can survive traveling, and even hold fairly simple conversations, in totally non-English zones) in five. ‘Course, I’m married to a person who’s truly fluent in somewhere between 12 and 20 languages (lost count, not sure what to count), so I have a pretty serious safety buffer.

‘Course, I’m married to a person who’s truly fluent in somewhere between 12 and 20 languages (lost count, not sure what to count), so I have a pretty serious safety buffer.

Why can’t I marry this person too?