When Gannon Was In Egypt’s Land
Posted on November 9th, 2007 by Mister Leonard Pierce
Shorter Gay Patriot:
Above: Absolutely the safest thing I could find after
doing a Google image search for ‘gay patriot’.
MSM’s Disinterest in Anti-Conservative Attitudes of Gays?
- The media doesn’t show very much interest in the prejudicial treatment of conservatives by homosexuals. Yes, I meant to put the words in that order.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.
ALTERNATE BONUS FILTHIER SHORTER GAY PATRIOT:
- I would be getting all kinds of cock if my fellow gays would only be more understanding of my dedication to a political cause that seeks to deny us our human rights.
Damn, site broke. I really wanted to see how mean the gays were to conservatives.
Time-traveling Gay Patriot: Many Jews aren’t interested in joining the National Socialist Party! Why aren’t they more interested in the wellbeing of the Volk?
We used to call what has happened to gaypatriot.net being slashdotted .. Now I guess it is “Can I see that site please?” “Sadly, No!”
Ah, I see it has calmed now … Time to go read it
.
2nd Alternate shorter: It’s just my fiscal policy, why should that keep me from getting laid?
Site seems to be workin’ for me at least…
I use bluehost myself for some sites and I will say that while it is very inexpensive and basically reliable for low volume sites if I was doing tricky stuff and actually expecting to make money from the site(he is a “member” of Pajamas Media) I really would shell out for a non-shared account somewhere.
Cheap-ass Conservatives
Oh, Hysterical Woman, the gays can be VERY mean to conservatives. Think ‘All About Eve’ with text messaging. I’ll go read now too.
While i understand that is in inappropriate to mention than Michelle Malkin prancing about in a cheerleader outfit “reminds me of an aging Bangkok bargirl”, and that we shouldn’t suggest that Ann Coulter “reminds me of a Santa Monica Blvd transvestite crackwhore” or that Pam Oshrey’s drunken juggs make me “touch myself” we can still goof on the homos.
I can understand how you could be a Gay Republican for purely selfish economic reasons if you were financially secure and didn’t give a shit about anyone else except yourself but …
umm what was the point I was trying to make?
When I think of all the things that keep me from getting laid, being willing to sacrifice my lovers to people who’d put them to death if they could seems fairly trivial.
While i understand that is in inappropriate
Wabba gabba fwabba.
The site is surreal.
Opposition to federal laws prohibiting companies from firing people based on their sexual orientation? Huh? Their stated reason is some tortured defense of federalism. Would this same states’ rights logic also apply to race and gender? Why not slavery? That’s in the original constitution, too.
Whatever. This is less about constitutional law or even conservatism than dark pathology and layers of rationalization.
Yeah. They should totally do a report on that proposed amendment to the constitution that makes being gay and conservative illegal. Or all the gays who bash people outside of conservative clubs. Or all the people who constantly compare being conservative to fucking dogs and children.
(whisper whisper whisper)
Huh?
(whisper, whisper whisper whisper)
Wait, none of it?
(whisper, whisper. whisper)
(whisper)
Oh…well, I’m still right.
I should email Gay Patriot with obsessively detailed missives about my Hot Gay Liberal Sex Life every time I get laid.
Hmmmmmmm…
Man, that was just painful. So much unjust unpopularity and unrequited affection and, well, blockheaded self-un-awareness.
Quote: “I’ve been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog…”
This one was so good that someone later asked if they could steal it.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t help myself from violating the prime directive.
Oh gawd, I’ve had this conversation, or variations of it, countless times:
Me: So, you’re a Log Cabin’er.
Them: Yes, I’m in favor of limited government and lower taxes.
Me: The limited government that your party is going after by passing an anti-gay marriage bill?
Them: [pause] Liberals will raise my taxes.
Me: [scrambles to bar for another drink]
A majority of them really do think they’re exempt from the Republican’s hatred and scorn, that when the theocracy that the Religious Reich wants comes to pass that they’ll get an exemption because they’re in favor of lower taxes and states right and a strict reading of the constitution. It’s unreal.
As for that idiot in the link, the media doesn’t show gay conservatives because it fucks with their narrative that all us gays are a) drag queens b) HIV diseased monsters c) boy lovers and d) angry, angry, ANGRY I SAID GODDAMIT radicals who loves us some Mao, Stalin and Che, but not in *that* way.
Don’t forget all those Republicans who were tied to fences and beaten to death with rocks by gays.
He, like so many others, dismissed my ideas offhand. Even as he acknowledged my intelligence, he refused even to listen to my arguments. Based entirely on our political differences, he closed off any possibility of friendshi, much less romance. After receiving the e-mail I excerpted above, I never heard from him again.
The fact is friendshi is cool.
What an idiot. This in comments:
And why it is that Leftists are still outing Gays who are conservatives.
Uh…
Righteous Bubba said,
While i understand that is in inappropriate
Wabba gabba fwabba.
Yeah, i know, sad innit?
He’s harping on the ABC news thingie:
remember to tagline…
I wonder if they would consider catapulting a Baptist preacher wearing two wetsuits and a spangly black sequined bustier through the window of the Harvard faculty lounge concept created by Donnie.
As a gay liberal guy myself (who isn’t getting any from tolerant liberal gays myself – just a note should our gay patriot choose to visit the friendly confines of SadlyNo! (maybe it’s just you!) – I’d like to offer the opinion that gay conservatives suffer from a sort of Stockholm Syndrome regarding the Republican party.
They force you into the closet via their politics, keep you into toe-tapping in bathrooms, quietly keep you from ascending to the position you sacrificed other gays for just to get to (Hi Dave Drier) and you end up blowing guys while they’re asleep or offering undercover cops a 20-spot to blow them. Or, just get caught in a messy sting with gay hustlers.
Yet, as a gay conservative, this kind of behavior warms the heart and makes you pretend George W. is like Madonna when he’s really more like Stacey Q.
It’s just sad.
It’s true! Gays are even trying to pass constitutional amendments banning conservative marriage.
‘The fact is friendshi is cool.’
Isn’t that all about the careful arrangement of groups of people on the floor of a room as to create the most harmonious energy?
I’m sure that the those gay Republicans who toe the line will be treated just fine by the party. I mean, look at the nazis! All their gay membership survived through WW2, right? I vaguely recall reading that they weren’t brutally purged, so it must be true.
Master Mahan, that’s an interesting idea.
I will contact my people and see if they’re interested in adding that to our agenda.
Um, I totally disregarded the prime directive and then invited everyone at GayPatriot over here for a “sleepover”. Sorry. Politics be damned. I’ve totally (totes?) got a log for their “cabin”.
Oh, are you guys and Frau Malkin going to the Web Awards together?
… and don’t even get me started on how them n|ggas treat conservatives…
Whoah. I think my WTF?-o-meter just broke.
Long ago, I was briefly attached to a small group of gay conservatives.We dressed in blazers, bow ties, khakis, and penny loafers. We read Ayn Rand, Milton Friedman, and National Review. We delighted in making boorish, loud spectacles of ourselves all over campus. Several of the others were kicked out of the gay student union because they invariably turned every meeting into a screaming political debate. Thank gawd it took me less than a semester to disassociate myself from those poppinjays (picture a bunch of Tucker Carlsons).
I know not all, or even most, gay conservatives behave like that, but maybe some are scorned and mocked and avoided not because of their political leanings, but instead because they behave like insufferable assholes.
Donnie said,
“Thank gawd it took me less than a semester to disassociate myself from those poppinjays (picture a bunch of Tucker Carlsons).”
Tucker always did make my Gaydar twinge and ping.
BTW, I was a Stonewall Democrat by graduation. You know, after being indoctrinated by all those lefty perfessors.
Well, this is a standard conservative argument against Those Darn Gays, innit? It’s the faggotses’ fault that good Christian White Folk hate ’em with that burning, flaming passion because the gays insist on being all gay ‘n shit in public AND private. If the dirty, filthy fags would just stop doing gay shit then conservatives wouldn’t want to see ’em beaten bloody. It’s the fags own fault because they don’t conform to the conservative ideal and, thus, stop being all sexy and alluring and GODDAMMIT, FAGS, STOP MAKING ME WANT TO SUCK YOUR DICKS! thing that bubbles just underneath.
It’s just being said by an actual gay guy, that’s all. It’s sorta like that Jill Stanek woman that said Michael Corleone slapping the shit out of his wife in Godfather II represents a “real men”. Friend of a friend once told me “Every group’s got it’s own Indian scouts.”
Judge Clarence Thomas said,
… and don’t even get me started on how them n***** treat conservatives…
I am deeply offended by the above racist post. This is not who we are. Remove it now or i will stop reading this blog.
NEWSFLASH: “Dog Bites Man” isn’t a big story either. It’s not “news.”
Does this dipstick not understand the difference between gay people (since he doesn’t seem to have tried his luck @ “Cure-A-Homo” we’ll assume he’s down w/ the biological basis) & conservatives? Conservatives are not born that way, & some may actually have their minds changed after enough encounters w/ reality. Doesn’t happen too often, but…
Does he expect Afro-Americans to be “tolerant” of the Ku Klux Klan? Jewish people to “tolerate” the National Socialist White People’s Party? Me to “tolerate” people who claim the earth is flat?
Here’s a clue: The guy who lost interest in you after finding out what a “patriot” you were can spot self-loathing a mile away & doesn’t need or want to deal w/ it in a relationship..
maybe some are scorned and mocked and avoided not because of their political leanings, but instead because they behave like insufferable assholes.
DING DING DING DING!!
You are correct!
Or maybe he’s just goofy looking.
Guckert, Guckert?
Isn’t that soft-balls lobbing, Scottie banger , lying father-sucker from a few years ago?
Ever seen Jeff Gannon in an interview? A twitchy, spittle-flecked motherfucker whose eyes dart around more when he’s awake than most people’s do during REM sleep. Dude is clearly batshit insane.
Which might go somewhere towards answering the “why would anyone be gay and conservative” question.
Fake Concerned is teh funny.
In my post yesterday, I expressed my reluctance at taking a stand I know to be controversial. I am all too familiar with the laughter experienced when I talk.
I was once introduced to a guy who, after hearing me express my passion for mythology and my love for movies, was proposing to me before we even met. He was ready to madcap suck my huge veiny cock hubba hubba. And while he acknowledged finding me attractive when we did meet in person, unlike when we were introduced, he e-mailed me to say he couldn’t “get past” my politics, describing the current administration as putrid evil and refusing to understand how “anyone with half a fucking brain like me even managed to feed himself.”
He, like so many others, couldn’t get past he size of my major republican package. Even as he acknowledged my major Bushish “Mission Accomplished” weight, he refused even to listen to whatever the hell it was i was going on about. Based entirely on our political differences, he closed off any possibility of friendshi, much less romance. After receiving the e-mail I excerpted (?) above, I never heard from him again.
And while many of us hot gay conservatives have developed strong friendships, even romantic relationships, with those other people, nearly every super hot gay conservative I have met (or been “introduced to”) has experienced a situation similar to the one I described above, where someone who has initially expressed interest in us, eventually realizes that we are screaming scary dumbass stupid.
It’s not just in relationships we experience this. When we go out into the world, we face insults, ridicule, derision and rejection.
Yet, the mainstream media doesn’t seem much interested in the mean-spirited anti-screaming scary dumbass stupid. It doesn’t fit their narrative of the way the world works. Instead, they want to show that dancing with celebrities show. Mark Cuban, by the way, has a sweet ass, even tho he won’t return my emails..
Michelle Malkin, who we are not allowed to criticize on “snarky” “progressive” blogs reported earlier this week, ABC News is staging an “experiment” in Alabama hiring actors to portray same-sex couples publicly displaying affection. She says this experiment has earned the network’s news division a new motto: “All the news that’s fit to stage.“ And then she p***** p***p***b**** from her p***.
Perhaps, the network should hire a few actors to wear Spiderman suits and pester fat tourists outside Grummans Theatre in Hollywood. Heck, I’d be willing to do that and I wouldn’t even need to act.
Or maybe I could just conduct that experiment myself. Let’s see how much it would cost to get a Republican T-shirt and buy a videocamera. . . . That could actually be a learning experience for me in more way than one
After seeing this picture I can tell you as a gay man myself that the guy wasn’t put off by his politics…. he just thought Gay Patriot looked like a complete and utter tool. He looks like somebody who would have a “passion for mythology” and a “love for film.”
I somehow feel unclean now….
Arrrggggghhh! The picture showed up in the preview. Here it is:
http://atlasshrugs2000.typepad.com/atlas_shrugs/images/osm_wizbang_atlas_brainterminal_la_shawn.jpg
I am assuming Gay Patriot is the queen in the electric blue oxford. He looks about as sexually appealing as Dick Cheney.
In all honesty, I actually do feel bad for fiscally conservative gays. After all, there’s nothing about lusting after the flesh of someone of the same gender that makes it inherently necessary to be a big government type or a fiscal liberal type.
But there is just no way that a sane gay person could be a member of the Republican party at this point. My feeling on the matter is that if you’re gay and fiscal conservatism is THAT important to you, you should probably check out the Libertarian party. With the Libertarians, you can get fiscal conservatism without the fantasies of gay genocide.
And guys – just ignore the troll above me. Seriously. Whoever he is, he’s off his meds, and the whole spectacle is just sad. I suspect it’s a bad case of the trolls somebody around here picked up by clicking on that DUmmie FUnnies site – you know, even when you practice safe internet, there are still risks of communicable diseases like this.
With a little time, and the penicillin of not paying him any attention, it will clear up soon enough.
whoops! To clarify, I wasn’t calling sneakerchad a troll. Look up above that, if you please.
I like how you just “assume” that Gay Patriot isn’t the black woman, sneakerchad. Bruce and/or Dan are VERY common names for black women these days!
Indeed. Which is why the local chapter of the Libertarian party in my city is (or was) a big ole queen. He was still a bit creepy when he was hitting on me at a local gay bar, but not republican-level creepy.
Jesus Tiberius Christ – How many gay men read this blog?! We’re coming out of the woodwork, I tell you!
G. B. Shaw said “If you’ve got an Irishman on a spit, you can always get another Irishman to turn it.”
sneakerchad, I’m not sure that’s GPWest. Here’s an alleged shot from Outside the Tent, where clif works full time.
You’ll note that he’s sporting an “I [heart] Bush” tee, so I can’t figure why he’d need to get another along w/ a video camera for his big WeHo experiment. I doubt many people would even react. Of course “I [heart] Bush” could mean more than one thing, but the folks around here are awfully tolerant of breeders (no cases of breeder bashing that I know of) & polite enough not to say anything. And there is no “central Weho.” It’s Eastside (poor people, where I live) & Westside (where the money is).
And guys – just ignore the troll above me. Seriously. Whoever he is, he’s off his meds, and the whole spectacle is just sad. I suspect it’s a bad case of the trolls somebody around here picked up by clicking on that DUmmie FUnnies site – you know, even when you practice safe internet, there are still risks of communicable diseases like this.
With a little time, and the penicillin of not paying him any attention, it will clear up soon enough.
Jullien I’m fairly certain that bad man explained himself here in this thread right after he said something about you people sucking at the whole flaming thing.
So it looks like we have nothing to worry about.
Beware gay republicans inviting you home to play “Aqua Dots”. Do not eat your creation.
And guys – just ignore the troll above me. Seriously. Whoever he is, he’s off his meds, and the whole spectacle is just sad. I suspect it’s a bad case of the trolls somebody around here picked up by clicking on that DUmmie FUnnies site – you know, even when you practice safe internet, there are still risks of communicable diseases like this.
With a little time, and the penicillin of not paying him any attention, it will clear up soon enough.
Jillian it looks like that bad man explained himself down here at the bottom of this post, somewhere between pointing out that most people suck at the flaming thing and that you are a humourless sanctamonious prat.
So i think we are safe.
Dear travis,
It appears the link thing is broken.
Either that or i’m fucking up the html. lets try again
Ahh, there it is. Nevermind.
Jullian, dear, if you are still paying attention, thats the link were the bad man explains himself, its down there at the bottom, you know, right after he mentions how badly some people suck at flaming and that you are a humourless sanctamonious prat.
HTH.
“Sanctamonious”
If you’re going to use big words to insult your betters, at least learn to spell them.
Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.
I know quite a few “gay patriots” and they don’t support the party of Pat fucking Robertson and James asswipe Dobson and all the other eliminationist “Evangelical Christain” wackos.
What kind of self-hating queen would be a Republican? Oh, right, Andy Sullivan, the Clarence Thomas of gay America. Wasn’t Andy soooooooo clever to view his conservatism with such “rational disinterest” all those years, ignoring the Republicans’ horrific treatment of gays as long as they supported Andy’s hatred of Islamofascist brown people? At least the bitch nowadays has the balls to criticize his Republican buddies for their rampant homophobia and eliminationist views. We know Clarence Thomas is a lost cause and will never admit he’s in bed with racist shitbags, but we’re glad Andy’s questioning his fascination with ideological rough trade.
M. Bouffant said,
November 9, 2007 at 13:56
sneakerchad, I’m not sure that’s GPWest. Here’s an alleged shot from Outside the Tent, where clif works full time.
LOL EVEN WORSE! I bet he puts the phrase “Just a normal straight acting guy who just happens to be gay!” on his gay.com personal ad. The A&F craftwork necklace just screams “I am gay but I look and act so straight only my boyfriend knows!” I bet he secretly loves Broadway showtunes but keeps it a dark deep secret lest his other “straight acting” gay friends find out.
I would have had more respect for him if he was the tool in the blue oxford. At least he has the dignity to be himself – albeit a tool but still.
Totally OT, but this is why the national democratic party is not going to see a single dime of my money this time around.
Howard Dean keeps sending me those fundraising emails talking about how the GOP totally sucks goat balls and how the Dems will kick ass and put everything right if they can just get elected.
Fuck them with a porcupine. Mukasey is unwilling to make a simple statement on the legality of an interrogation technique. He should never have gotten out of committee without answering a simple mutherfucken question that we all know the answer to.
The Dems run Congress, Bush is the most unpopular president in history, and they still won’t fight. Times like this I see why the Republicans are so contemptuous of their opposition.
My money now goes to individual progressive candidates on a case-by-case basis.
Sorry Dr. Dean. Your 50-state strategy and your get-out-the-vote all sounds terrific, but I can’t give my money to a party that won’t stand up for simple principles of human decency even when in the majority.
“No mas, no mas.”
mat said,
November 9, 2007 at 15:16
I know quite a few “gay patriots” and they don’t support the party of Pat fucking Robertson and James asswipe Dobson and all the other eliminationist “Evangelical Christain” wackos.
You know when I tell my non-political friends about Michelle Malkin they are always amazed that an Asian actually wrote a book defending the internment of other American Asians during World War II. At first they think its a parody and it takes quite a bit of convincing. They just don’t understand how somebody can hate themselves so much. Then I explain Log Cabins to them and they just think I am using hyperbole at that point.
I am never going to forget this statement by Andrew Sullivan shortly after 9/11/2001.
Sullivan wasn’t trying to get the country to unify, he wasn’t trying to convince people who were against military action in Afghanistan to support it, and he wasn’t trying to understand radical Islamists. The very first thing that came to Sullivan’s mind after the attacks was to call people who disagreed with Bush a decadent, sinister ‘Fifth Column’, traitors to the repulic.
Yikes.Gay Pat doesn’t take no lip. I made some suggestions as to what conservative t-shirt he could wear on his walk thru gayland (“No Special Rights” “Silly Faggot, Dicks Are For Chicks” (a fave at a local redneck bar) ) and this morning the comment is gone. What a wus.
The only real traitors to our republic are the ones who don’t think civil rights apply to all citizens equally.
Whatever you think about how people express their sexual feelngs, these people deserve the same civil rights as any other American citizen. We would love it if all America were enlightened enough to accept homosexuality as being as “normal” as heterosexuality. But we DEMAND that homosexuals are granted equal rights. Anyone opposed to this is a fucking traitor to our Constitution.
I mean, really, let’s put our cards on the table about what true patriotism means, folks. If you are a true patriot, gay or straight, you’d be out there fighting for the truest cause we have in America, which is the right of all citizens to be treated equally under our Constitution. That’s way more important than defending ourselves from “evil Islamoascists” who are, when you think about it, considerably less dangerous to us than the rampaging homophobic maniacs who are our neighbors and fellow citizens.
Gay patriot my ass. What a self-hating bitch, that one.
I’m sorry. Even now I fail to comprehend the whole concept of the Log Cabin Republicans.
I guess they’re figuring if the pogroms come they’ll be saved by their good works for the conservative cause, and the fact that they’re icky homos will be overlooked.
Sorry, guys. That trick never works.
The Clayton Bigsby of the gay community.
Next up: The wanton cruelty of ethnic minorities towards White Supremacists.
Thanks to GP’s whining I’ve got “So Lonely” and “Nobody Loves Us,” stuck in my head.
Alternative alternative alternative: It’s shallow and bigoted for some people to dislike me for my ideas. A more rounded, tolerant person would not care about what I have to say, and would instead like me for my cute ass.
Arky, is that “Nobody Loves Us” as in “…everybody hates us, we’re going to eat some worms”?
Bitch bitch bitch. I’m sick of these homos always asking for special rights. When is the MSM going to pay attention to how hard it is for conservative straight men to score hot chicks in places like Boston and San Francisco?
When will CNN do a special investigation where they send a guy in an “I Love W” t-shirt into the People’s Republic?
Boo hoo.
“Whoa” is me
The behavior of the Log Cabin Republicans – “Sure, you guys don’t really like us, but if we roll over for you enough, eventually you’ll respect us!” seems eerily similar to the behavior of Senate Democrats today.
Which would be OK if they weren’t both trying so hard to appeal to exactly the same people.
It’s like when I try to get hot drunken chicks at the Chuggin Monkey to lez up for my cameraphone – they immediately assume I’m a Republican and tell me to scram. Yeah, that’s it. Anti-American bigots the lot of them.
This all raises an interesting question: would I date a really hot chick if she turned out to be a wingnut? I’m talking Michelle Phillips circa 1968, Heather Graham in “Boogie Nights” caliber hot, but Ann Coulter/Malkin caliber wingnut.
I think I could put my politics aside and bang this mythical wingnut a few times.
I love that he doesn’t support ENDA, but now he wants us to start regulating who people can and cannot dump. What does he want, affirmative action dating?
I love how this question comes up every couple of weeks.
I have to admit, it is a pretty funny scenario.
I think I could put my politics aside and bang this mythical wingnut a few times.
You would think so, but I wouldn’t recommend it. Potential for a meaningful relationship aside, the reason that I don’t shack up with conservative gay guys any more is that they can’t keep their deeply repressed mental issues out of bed. Oh, and you’d better believe that they have issues.
My guess is that uber-conservative chicks are going to be the same. Have you noticedthe slightly glazed, feral look in the eyes of all of the conservative t-shirt models? Its all fun and games until she decides to clamp her teeth into your balls or take a poo in your sheets. Not cute.
And it was a minor subplot on the worst “Curb Your Enthusiasm” episode where the signed photo of George W. Bush dampened his, uh, ardor. But I digress.
Wow. What I learned from that thread is that even gay conservatives are whiny assholes who think their sex lives should be subsidized by people who don’t like whiny assholes.
I understand your frustration, but cruelty to animals is not the way.
I went out with a friend of a friend of mine a long time ago. I’d always thought he was really hot so I was toasting my own good fortune all evening. When we got back to his place I caught a glimse into his bedroom and was horrified to see a nazi flag on the wall over his bed. True story. It was a very short evening.
PS: If you do take the plunge, you might want to use a condom. And a diaphram. And a lot of spermicide. Remember, she doesn’t believe in abortion, and the last thing you want to subject your offspring to is Mommy Malkin.
Is there enough progressive voters in America to really make an impact?
Of all the male war cheerleaders between the ages of 18 and 40 in the wingnut commentariat, why is “Gay Patriot” about the only one who doesn’t have a bad knee or a debilitating asthmatic condition?
Is there enough progressive voters in America to really make an impact?
Yes.
Yes there is.
PS: If you do take the plunge, you might want to use a condom. And a diaphram. And a lot of spermicide.
I was thinking vasectomy at the very least. Maybe castration, to be on the safe side.
Might be less of a hassle than the social entanglement – that’s why I was never interested in wingnut women.
Dating rule # 4,080, conservative women are shady.
One of the cooler things about online dating is being able to delete the profiles of conservative and ultra conservative women. I’m wary enough of anyone who identifies as middle of the road because that’s just fucking stupid. It’s the “some other viewpoint” category that throws me off because they could be glibertarians but they could also be Marxists. Do I risk going on a date with a possible randroid so that I might finally meet a woman willing to wear the Stalin mask in bed?
I did once date a weird Xtian chick for a few months. She was really into blow and kinky, almost violent sex, but would talk about Jeebus all the time. It was very strange. She figured as long as she went to church every Sunday, whatever debauchery she indulged in over the weekend was forgotten.
She was conflicted politically– she had gay friends and loved the bohemian, hipster lifestyle, but was obviously raised by a bunch of fundie wingnut morons. I thought I could corrupt her fully and turn her into a beautiful, godless atheist.
It was a good ride for a while until she dumped me.
She was really into blow and kinky, almost violent sex, but would talk about Jeebus all the time.
My first real girlfriend was quite religious as well. She introduced me to BDSM play. She also was conflicted, and really quite a sweet person. I wonder how she is.
Awesome
JK47, I know a gay guy like that. It’s kinda worse for him because of that whole self-loathing thing he gets into every once in a while. I was interested in dating him for a while about a year ago, but he got scared as things started to get serious. It’s just as well, because, even though I didn’t know it at the time, it seems that conservatives have…ahem, issues in the sack more often than not. Even moreso if you’re gay, I guess…
Unlike some of the other stories mentioned in this thread…he’s actually a nice guy, and very sweet. I feel bad for him, because I think that deep down he’s not really the fundie wingnut moron he was raised to be. He seems to have compassion for others, and he lacks that bitter edge so many repressed wingnuts have.
When Gannon was in Egypt’s land,
Let my urine flow,
Dressed up like the Marine Corps Band,
Let my urine flow
Go down, Gannon, down in Foley land,
Tell ol’ Karl I’ve got an opening at three
Let my urine flow.
Hangin’ with Larry in an airport head,
Let my urine flow,
Get the rubber sheets out on your bed,
Let my urine flow
O let’s deny our sexuality,
Let my urine flow;
With two wetsuits and Mike Huckabee,
Let my urine flow.
OT – whoever is posting as ‘dittohed’ at DuFu, you’re cracking me up.
“zsa said,
November 9, 2007 at 18:09
Of all the male war cheerleaders between the ages of 18 and 40 in the wingnut commentariat, why is “Gay Patriot” about the only one who doesn’t have a bad knee or a debilitating asthmatic condition?”
Because he can use the fact that he’s gay as his excuse for why he’s not in the army. Because, y’know, of all the hate he’d receive. From liberals. Or something.
Fake Concerned is way more fun than real Concerned. Keep posting, whoever you are!
No. Well, now I do. Thanks.
I was thinking of this one.
Although Girl Least Likely To might work as well…
The final results for the 2007 Weblog Awards are in.
G. B. Shaw said “If you’ve got an Irishman on a spit, you can always get another Irishman to turn it.”
And James Connely said “An English boss is a monster, an Irish one even worse.”
Best of the Top 250 Blogs Ballon Juice
Heh.
Lawnguylander said,
November 9, 2007 at 18:42
Dating rule # 4,080, conservative women are shady.
awesome.
He’s on point.
all the time.
did once date a weird Xtian chick for a few months. She was really into blow and kinky, almost violent sex, but would talk about Jeebus all the time.
You dated annieangel?
Funniest Blog Sadly, No!
heeeeeee!
Tbogg is funny, too.
A special shout of peace goes out to all Sadlies you see.
And a middle finger to the uber-wack DU Unfunnies.
When does the Award Tour start?
“Whatever you think about how people express their sexual feelngs, these people deserve the same civil rights as any other American citizen.”
Unless they’re under 18. Then they’ll expel you from school or put you in prison.
Michelle got locked out.
[grins]
Also, is that a recount at Best Science? Do we have allegations of fraud? Oh, the suspense is killing me!
…let my people ‘mo.
I still can’t believe that ENDA passed, but they left out transgendered people. Where does that leave Richard Curtis?
The Puritan Roots of this country are hard to pull up, eh?
That being said, I think you should give the rainbow back to all people.
As a neutral country, we believe that we could manage the rainbow better than any one special interest group.
Oh, and can the word ‘Gay’ go back to meaning ridiculously happy?
Our people await the answer.
Why doesn’t Gay Patriot date other conservative gays? I hear Larry Craig is looking for some fun.
What? He’s not gay!
While i understand that is in inappropriate….
Bad troll, no doughnut.
That’s actually more along the lines of what a defensive misogynistic arsehole would say after he got smacked in the nose by people in the other thread. In other words, that was more psychologically suited to your Gary M. sock puppet.
It’s only a technical fault, since you and Gary M. are the same person, but psychologically it doesn’t ring true. You’ll have to refine your trolling before you’re ready to play in the big leagues with Gary Ruppert.
Heh, Fozetti, I don’t know. I have remarked on several occasions that I would never date myself and I don’t see why anyone would…and I guess a lot of people feel that same way about themselves. I would think dating other gay conservatives would be a bit too much like that…someone with your same issues…I don’t know if I could tolerate that kind of a mirror…
Switzerland, it’s a deal so long as we (the recoved and recovering puritans) get a printout of ‘who’ and ‘how much’ for the money in your country’s bank accounts. We would be gay if you would enlightenment us in that particular area. A pdf is acceptable. Thanks. Oh… some chocolates too please.
The old GB Shaw quote: “I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that accepted someone like Me as a member”?
When does the Award Tour start?
Went to Carvel to get a milk shake?
I’m sure that the those gay Republicans who toe the line will be treated just fine by the party. I mean, look at the nazis! All their gay membership survived through WW2, right? I vaguely recall reading that they weren’t brutally purged, so it must be true.
Perhaps you read it in The Pink Swastika, which uses textual evidence to show that Hitler had a torrid love affair with Ernst Röhm. That textual evidence was that Hitler used the informal “du” in a letter to Röhm. I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.
Went to Carvel to get a milk shake?
Went down on hon
He’s in a red state
When does the Award Tour start?
Back in ’89 I simply slid into place
Buddy Buddy Buddy all up in your face
>>The old GB Shaw quote: “I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that accepted someone like Me as a member”?
Wasn’t that Groucho?
Dating rule # 4,080, conservative women are shady.
I dated and damn near married a fairly conservative woman back just after I got out of college. This was 10 years ago and she wasn’t one of the frothing, spitting wingnuts, but more like the suburban raised, never wanted for anything type. We never really butted heads except on stereotypes, really. She was that sort of “Well, why do gay people/black people want special rights and why must they be so rude about it” type that was more exasperating than anything else. And she liked money a whole lot more than I’m particularly comfortable with, which is why we eventually split up. Nice enough girl but I do look back and think to myself, “Boy, that was a little too close for comfort.”
I don’t know if I could be involved with a true-blue conservative believer these days, though. To me, if you look around at the world today and think to yourself, “If we could only go back to a mythical golden age wherein no one upset the status quo” then you got serious issues. And after the last six years of conservative rule, I for one have flat had it. One more dingbat tells me how wunnerful the Fair Tax is, I may start throwing things.
Dan Savage has a nice piece about Richard Curtis in this week’s Stranger, where he recreates Curtis’ very, very bad night and discovers that Curtis’ kinks might make him straight – well, straight-ish, at least.
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=433857
>>>>The old GB Shaw quote: “I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that accepted someone like Me as a member”?
>>Wasn’t that Groucho?
Marxists, the lot of you!
Went to Carvel to get a milk shake?
This hottie jipped me off for my lootcakes.
Kathleen, in my book, you just moved up a peg or two.
We will consider the chocolates, if you will also give back the porn ‘stache.
We will not accept a porn stash in its place. That is all.
Hey, there is a tie for the Best Science Webbie!
It seems that a glitch caused Bad Astronomy to keep recording votes after the close, pushing it into the lead.
Wingnutosphere meltdown in 5…4…3…2…
Here’s a link to an annotated Pink Swastika, which explains everything wrong with the “argument” in that book.
Basically, in that book, to explain away the obvious fact that the Nazis went after homosexuals, the book explains it was all just a big tiff between the “Butch” Nazi homosexuals and the “Femme” Weimar homosexuals. Really.
The thing about the Log Cabinettes is that about half the time, they’re appear to be too liberal for the GP crowd, whose love for W is tempered by their rage over his perceived failure to do anything about illegal immigration. And despite their free-market fundamentalism, they’re the first to scream for regulation whenever a business (e.g. an airline) does something bad to them personally.
They hate everybody, basically.
Doh! “They appear to be too liberal…” etc.
Dan Savage should know about straights, he was one himself until he moved to Seattle and figured out a (very lucrative) career path.
What are you, his best friend from high school?
Aren’t most gay men are straight until they come out of the closet? Or am I getting something confused here?
Stim Brundy said,
Dan Savage should know about straights, he was one himself until he moved to Seattle and figured out a (very lucrative) career path.
yeah, when I think of ways to make a lot of money, I think “I should have been gay!”
damn it, why did I pay for that pricey grad school!!
Guess none of you have seen my pic in the “about” section, then.
Oh my God, Jillian, now I can make “sense” of that picture. It helps to notice the hammer-and-sickle pendant, I suppose.
I couldn’t make heads or tails of it, nor what the joke was supposed to be, if any. I suppose that makes me unqualified to comment here…
I am deeply, deeply sorry and appalled at myself for making the infantile observation that “log cabin” sounds like it could be a euphemism similar to “poop chute”, “hershey highway” etc. Hee hee.
I hereby apologise for single-handedly proving that every single right-wing meme about “liberal hate” is true.
Did wonders for Andrew Sullivan, didn’t it? He even gets his HIV medication for free. And the Catholic/contrarian/moral scold position is exactly the role Savage wants and has worked for for years, hence his wide anti-Islamofascist pro-war and “AIDS is over so I’m not using condoms anymore” stances.
Yes, I happen to know one of his friends from high school and college, and Savage has previously admitted it in interviews. And it’s hard to hide stuff in Seattle, it’s a small town, and the queer community smaller still. (It didn’t help that he directed local theater under one pseudonym while simultaneously playing theater critic/editor for the Stranger under another nym, everybody knew about that.)
And no, many of us know we’re queer from the git-go. Weren’t we talking a while back that it’s the recent converts that go all hardcore and embrace positions that bring the rest of us into disrepute? (“Luke Sissyfag” was another Seattle example of this, child of fundamentalists who broke with his parents while bringing all the compassion, humility and clear-eyed insight we associate with fundamentalism to the political arena. What a schmuck.)
So Dan Savage has had sex with a guy for +12 years just to be a sex advice columnist, cause there’s some rule that you gotta be gay to be an sex advice columnist? I don’t think that career is that lucrative.
The original Savage Love column prefaced itself with the statement that as a queer Savage would be able to give disinterested advice to the straights who would seek it. (This was also the period when he referred to himself as a “Queer Nationalist” (the actual term was “Queer National”) and asked all writers to begin their letters with “Hey Faggot”.)
So no, he couldn’t have been a sex advice columnist under those terms if he weren’t queer. (I don’t know if he’s got the same boyfriend as then, though he did say they had an “open” relationship.) And it’s definitely true that being an out queer was the major Unique Selling Proposition for his sex column and radio show.
Savage has parlayed his position to become editor of the Stranger. The Stranger is not some shoestring rag, it’s a multimillion-dollar publication (their network guy told me two years ago that when their internal network went down for one day they lost $175,000 of business) with a sister paper in Portland. Savage himself doesn’t live in Seattle, he lives in luxury in the San Juan islands off Elliott Bay (the ones the ferry you see at the beginning of Gray’s Anatomy goes to). So yeah, it’s been that lucrative.
Great. Like I didn’t have enough reasons to read S, N! and the comments.
I think they smoke crack
look at how they act
Let my Gannons go!!!
I’m fascinated by this idea that Dan Savage is “gay-for-pay”. You mentioned an interview where admitted it: where is it?
He’s not admitted that it was a career move, but he admitted in an interview years ago that he used to be straight (though he appeared to have forgotten that earlier this year, when he feigned not knowing anything about women sexually, still it’s possible that getting his prostate prodded regularly (“almost like seeing God”, he said in an early column) has caused amnesia), and that he was slagging bisexuals in his columns because it got a lot of letters. (There’s a pool in town on when he’ll declare himself bisexual. “Bi is the new gay”, he’ll say.)
You might be able to Google it up.
lame man said,
Great. Like I didn’t have enough reasons to read S, N! and the comments.
We are a bon-a-fide
Not too modest and not a lot of pride
Stim, I don’t mean this in any sort of malicious way, but you strike me as someone who has a personal beef with Savage, or something or someone related to him. These things you’re saying have all the hallmarks of salacious invective, and while they may have some echoes of truth in them I can’t help but feel you have an agenda.
Er. Did she vote, or was she ashamed to because women had made such an unseemly fuss about suffrage?
Yes, because in the remarkably tolerant, completely non-judgmental, and not at all scary towards gays, society that has always been America, people know their orientation from the moment they pop out of the womb. Ergo, all those so-called “gay people” who ever had a relationship with a person of the opposite gender must be faking it.
In fact, if I may use anecdotal evidence to support your theory, gay people are a complete myth.
Shit now I’ve got this song stuck in my head.
Don’t know that one, Kathleen.
Wipe your feet really good on the rhythm rug
If you feel the need to freak do the jitterbug
Jitterbug?
Savage himself doesn’t live in Seattle, he lives in luxury in the San Juan islands off Elliott Bay (the ones the ferry you see at the beginning of Gray’s Anatomy goes to)
Well, if you know as much about Savage as you know about Seattle geography, then your story is a crock.
The San Juan Islands are nowhere near Elliot Bay.
So Dan Savage has had sex with a guy for +12 years just to be a sex advice columnist, cause there’s some rule that you gotta be gay to be an sex advice columnist? I don’t think that career is that lucrative.
Well, it wouldn’t be unprecedented. Did you hear that Barack Obama is faking black just so he can be president?
When Dan Savage’s penis rose everyone with eyes could see it was a controlled expansion. There’s no way a homosexual could bring that cock up all by itself.
Dan Savage came to my attention back in the early ’90’s when my friends and I, bored at work, would read his advice column and “The Stranger” ‘s personal ads to one another over the intercom.
My favorite Dan Savage story is one that is still available on “The American Life” , when he went to the Republican caucuses in his precinct – Capitol Hill being a very liberal precinct, and thus the Republican caucus was sparsely attended. He got himself elected as a delegate, and ended up going to the District convention in drag. Pretty hilarious.
I note that the “Gay Patriot” site is so committed to freedom & tolerance that any criticism of their self-loathing schizophrenia immed. gets scrubbed from the comments section. Those awful damned lib’ruls & their intolerance!
shorter:
I love cock, just shut up.
I like the one where he turned himself into a bioweapon and licked the doorknobs of Gary Bauer’s campaign headquarters to try to pass on his horrible flu to the candidate. And the one where in the same state he was prosecuted for voter fraud. (He said he didn’t know it was illegal, and they let him off with community service.) But then I have an a-GEN-da, so none of that could possibly be true.
People asked questions and I answered them to the best of my ability while staying accurate to what I know. Or perhaps I’m Savage’s Rove, perfidiously planting problematic material (as Rove did to James Hatfield, it is said), in anticipation of when he runs for Senator against Patty Murray in 2010. Pwned!
Re the San Juans, you are probably correct, it’s more likely Bremerton, or Bainbridge or Vashon Islands, where he lives. (My source is a Seattle Weekly article from around five years ago about his voting record.) My only defense is that as a inveterate pedestrian I have but too rarely taken the ferries here and confused the nearer islands across the bay to the further ones. My loss I’m sure.
Re the San Juans, you are probably correct, it’s more likely Bremerton, or Bainbridge or Vashon Islands, where he lives. (My source is a Seattle Weekly article from around five years ago about his voting record.) My only defense is that as a inveterate pedestrian I have but too rarely taken the ferries here and confused the nearer islands across the bay to the further ones.
Probably??? Check a map.
You made a comment that was intended to say something about the character of the person you were talking about. Clearly, you didn’t know what you were talking about geographically, which makes me think you don’t know what you’re talking about economically – which was salient to your point. It would be sort of like me, a Los Angeles resident, commenting that someone claiming to live in LA, was, in fact, living in luxury in the nearby gated community of Twenty-nine Palms.
How can someone confuse Bainbridge and Vashon (which are islands) and Bremerton (which is not an island) with the San Juans?
It would be like confusing Staten Island with Nantucket.
the gay patriot might be reassured to know that heterosexual Republicans are rejected by Liberals they’re attracted to on ideological grounds. These poor souls also face ridicule, derision and rejection.
You’re not alone, honey.
(If he can get past someone having completely opposing views, just how much of a Gay Republican Patriot is he, anyway?)
#
Some Guy said,
November 9, 2007 at 8:22
Donnie said,
“Thank gawd it took me less than a semester to disassociate myself from those poppinjays (picture a bunch of Tucker Carlsons).”
Tucker always did make my Gaydar twinge and ping.”
Quick story:Fucker was on C-Span,yes,someone has to watch it,and was taking calls.I asked something about James Trafficant who he was babbling about at one point in the interview,then I asked if he was a “dandy”.He replied ,no,I am not homosexual if thats what you mean.WHAHAPPON??111!!!
Bwahaha! Dan Savage, The Fake Gay Bioweapon.
Mmm. No. For that analogy to work, you’d have to be:
1. Effective.
2. Convincing.
3. Intelligent.
All I’m getting from you is bitter and asinine.
“How can someone confuse Bainbridge and Vashon (which are islands) and Bremerton (which is not an island) with the San Juans?”
“it’s more likely Bremerton, or Bainbridge or Vashon Islands, where he lives.”
I would’ve used a semicolon between Bremerton and the others to make things clearer for you but it looked weird. Believe what you like, and do think independently. Why make things up and take the chance of a libel suit?, especially when the truth is plenty.
Have a nice night, everyone, I’m going out to mow my mom’s lawn. Scuttlebutt Porter rulez!
Hey, just found out it’s Vashon Island:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vashon_Island
Funny what you can find if you’re arsed to.
Bye for real. Keep it tight.
No wait, so you’re posing as someone who’s “in the know” about Dan Davage, and then you post “oh, wait, one of my little details was wrong, it’s Vashon, not Orcas!!” and cite a wikipedia article for it?
Obviously you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. You’ve probably never set a foot into the mossy soil of Western Washington.
Fucking poser.
And going back to the original statement that Savage is “living in luxury” in what you now acknowledge is Vashon Island – that’s a fricking laugh.
Listen, Savage was writing in Seattle at the Stranger in the early ’90’s at a time when housing prices in Seattle itself were quite low – my own central city house was priced at $65K around that time. Prices on Vashon tended to run a good 20 – 30% below those in Seattle. There was a real estate boom around ’92 or so, but even so, prices were still pretty low of Vashon.
Now I have no fucking idea when Savage bought his place on Vashon, but it’s entirely likely that Savage and his partner made a smart purchase at the right time, and got a place at a very economical price. it’s what I would have done. Hell, it’s what I almost DID do, if I hadn’t moved to LA when I did.
It’s just laughable for someone, like me, who used to live there at the time, to read Stimpy – or whatever your name is – who would actually try to imply that a guy writing for a gay tabloid fringe newspaper “made a fortune” and “lives in luxury.”
where are you writing from, Chicago or something?
“(He said he didn’t know it was illegal, and they let him off with community service.)”
One year probation, 50 hours community service and a $750 fine. I expect all your information about Savage is this complete.
When licking knobs is outlawed, only outlaws will lick knobs.
Guess none of you have seen my pic in the “about” section, then.
FSM, yes FSM, FSM, yes FSM, FSM, yes FSM,,,,
“My only defense is that as a inveterate pedestrian I have but too rarely taken the ferries here and confused the nearer islands across the bay to the further ones. My loss I’m sure.”
WTF? I’ve ridden the ferry, and I don’t own a car. You can walk aboard the ferries.
pedestrian said,
“I think I could put my politics aside and bang this mythical wingnut a few times.”
You would think so, but I wouldn’t recommend it. Potential for a meaningful relationship aside, the reason that I don’t shack up with conservative gay guys any more is that they can’t keep their deeply repressed mental issues out of bed. Oh, and you’d better believe that they have issues.
My guess is that uber-conservative chicks are going to be the same. Have you noticedthe slightly glazed, feral look in the eyes of all of the conservative t-shirt models? Its all fun and games until she decides to clamp her teeth into your balls or take a poo in your sheets. Not cute.
On the other hand, if the thought of a sleazy, superfical relationship with a chick whose idea of foreplay includes: spreading her legs, shutting her eyes and playing dead–after artfully applying her make-up and fixing her hair, this could work….
Remember, we’re talking about women who are convinced beyond reason that “THE KISS” between Al and Tipper HAD to be FAKE!
Huh? GP got the wrong talking points. It’s “all liberals are queer”, not “all queers are liberal”. Must’ve been a typo.