An incredible case of unmitigated assholism

Wowsers, the Minnesota Vikings need to check into Assholics Anonymous:

The Minnesota Vikings have docked wide receiver Troy Williamson one game check for missing last Sunday’s game against the San Diego Chargers to attend the Monday funeral of his maternal grandmother.

Based on his 2007 salary of $435,000, the action by the Vikings will cost the three-year veteran $25,588.

Coach Brad Childress told Twin Cities-area media following Thursday’s practice that the decision was on a “business principle” of the Vikings organization.

“He had a family obligation that he had to see to,” Childress said. “We sat down and talked on it before he left. … He had to do what he had to do. Everybody handles that differently. [Williamson] had to do what his family situation called for.”

Childress cited the cases of two players, Minnesota defensive tackle Pat Williams and Indianapolis wide receiver Reggie Wayne, who appeared in games shortly after the deaths of family members.

Williamson’s maternal grandmother, who helped to raise him and with whom he was very close, died last week and he returned to South Carolina, where he played a large role in arranging her funeral. He also had to make travel arrangements for several of his siblings, some of whom are in the armed services.

Is it possible at all for the Vikings to come across as bigger assholes in this case? Let’s review the facts:

-Beloved dead grandmother? Check.

-Brother who takes the time to make travel arrangements for all his siblings? Check.

-Siblings who are members of the armed forces and are likely risking their asses in Iraq? Check.

-Weaselly coach who tows toes the company line and all but calls his own player a wimp for not toughing it out? Oh, you better believe that’s a check.

All they need now is to have their coach start running up the score and get caught taping the opposing team’s signals, and then… uh wait, scratch that…


Comments: 58


On the other hand, dood, these guys play a GAME for more money than we are likely to make in five years.

Let’s say it together. Four Hundred and Twenty Five THOUSAND fucking dollars to play a GAME. Brad. C’mon.

They’ll get over these little slights.

I make a helluva decent living. But if I could make half a million fucking dollars to play a game? I’d live with the unfortunate consequences.



mikey, I know he’ll be fine financially, but it’s the damn principal. What a bunch of cheap jackasses.


Technically, it’s “toes the line.”

Congratulations on the Weblog Award.


Gawd, televised Vikings games are the best excuse ever to sneak out of a family function that you don’t want to be at. Everyone just grunts a g’by and zones back in on the game. I haven’t watched a full quarter of a Vikings game since I can remember (and as of today I’ve been sober for 23 years, so I remember a lot now).
The only good way to keep up with teh Vikings is in the local press because sports writers are typically the most snarky, funny and brutally honest writers in the paper, and the Vikings are just the whiniest and lamest bunch of pampered dumbass rich men on the planet.
ps: Bush should have to face a presser with sports writers sometime.


And his brother has been in and out of a coma since a car accident in September (he has been playing through this). How many relatives have to die or be in a coma before it’s ok to miss a game?


As an Eagles fan, I apologize on behalf of my city for Childress.


I’ll recant a bit. Troy doesn’t sound like a dumbass in that story. Sorry for his loss and his sorry treatment by management.


Boy, the ownership doesn’t come off any better in their press conference:

“We employ Mr. Willardson to play professional American foot-ball, not to attend the interment of elderly women who are not even season ticketholders,” noted Zygi Wilf at a press briefing held in his brandy heater. “If he did not want to sacrifice the contents of his weekly pay envelope, perhaps he should have loved his grandmother less.”

Wilf did, however, praise Williamson’s decision to arrange for his relatives in the armed services to attend the services. By doing so, Wilf pointed out, they were less likely to be killed in the war, thus necessitating Williamson having to attend further funerals.


memo to Gene Upshaw

The NFL players union should call for a one game players strike to protest this fine. Damn, that would be good.


Holy Hasbro, it looks like Ace of Spades has passed Malkin for the “best conservative blog.” Here he is celebrating with a PlayDoh and Bacon sundae. I wonder if it had a cherry on top.


oops, wrong thread.


When I took two months off work to nurse my dying mother and then another three weeks to attend her funeral and sort out family matters, I was paid by my employer. Not only was I paid, but they regularly checked in to see how I was doing.

Some of us are human, some of us are humane.


Well, corporate sports is just like corporate America, only more so. I guess we did at least get funeral leave at most of the corporations where I’ve worked. But it did say in the employee handbook that you had to be willing to provide proof that the relative in question was actually dead if they demanded it of you. (An obituary that mentioned you as a survivor would do the trick, as I recall.) I think you only got one day’s pay and time off for a granny. In my last corporate job, I wasn’t making as much as a pro football player makes for a game . . . in a year. I guess they could afford one day off for us lowly serfs, but as Scrooge would say, “Be back all the earlier the next morning!”


Ever since the Vikings drafted Darrin Nelson instead of Marcus Allen, their single-minded focus on the pursuit of mediocrity has provided the pretext for many a Sunday afternoon nap. They almost messed it up when Randall Cunningham, Cris Carter and Randy Moss started lighting up the scoreboard. I’m sure they breathed a sigh of relief when Carter retired, Cunningham lost his groove and Moss went to Oakland.

To think that the Vikes were so insanely great back in the early 70s…


The Purple People Eaters.

and one of the greatest football names ever: Mick Tinglehoff


Suck it up, loser. Doesn’t crybaby have a cell phone? Can’t his family members make their own travel arrangements? I can see maybe a half day off practice, but if he let his teammates down & didn’t play, why shouldn’t he get docked? Aren’t there any planes Sunday night or Monday morning?
As Candy said: “I think you only got one day’s pay and time off for a granny.”

Talk about the pussification of the American male. And a football player at that!!

What are the kids supposed to think?

And to compound this, The Hon. Dr. St. Rev. Bradley S. Rocket, Esq, PhD, MD has to try to deflect attention from the bordering-on-criminal behavior of Belicheat & his minions w/ this non-story.

A sad day all around for American manhood.


mbouffant doesn’t care about black grandmothers.


Aw, granny’s dead. I care about the example we should set for the children. We can’t let people whine about their grannies if there’s a terrorist attack & we have to defend ourselves because Hitlery’s turned the Army into a lesbo coven.


Well, you might have expressed some concern about this when it really mattered…

The sport threads really attract a crowd, eh?


Are you implying that Col. K. is a witch or worse?


No, better than each. I bet she could have kicked Jack Tatum’s and Ben Davidson’s and their grandmother’s asses. What’s your prob with an army of Karpinskies? She’s a good role model for the children, like you say.


No one could kick Jack Tatum’s ass. Remember, he paralyzed a man w/ one hit.


Well, you see, the Patriots handle these things better. They just send Brady to bring the family member back to life, and the problem’s solved.
Heh, heh.


mort kram,

Yes, and Bradrocket never posts about biofuels either.


I don’t care how much money Williamson makes. (That’s a whole ‘nother issue!)

This is just wrong!


That’s just big business being big business. All they care about is the bottom line.

Tender Mercenaries

Hell, go with three tight ends and block for Adrian Peterson. They shouldn’t even think of throwing it with those QBs.


An incredible case of unmitigated jumping on the ‘holier than thou’ platform. Like you, or I, actually have all the facts about this story. Cripes, the LAST place to go for a credible story is a sports writer….


As a Packer fan, I gleefully agree that teh Vikings can suck my balls.


Most reasonable corporations have something called “Bereavement Leave”–paid time off to attend funerals and grieve the passing of a family member. I don’t understand what the Vikings are being so stingy about.

It’s just a frakking game. I’m sure Troy Williamson will be able to better live with himself 20 years from now knowing he missed a game against the Chargers to say goodbye to his grandmother than he would have if he’d done the opposite.

Leonard Pierce–good satire. It says something, though, that it took me a second readthrough to realize you were joking.


Why are the Minnesota Vikings acting like some Marxist cartoon of capitalists?


The Vikings used to be a class organization, at least in the ’70s. I grew up watching them, and I’m glad I no longer give a shit about football. My Sundays are now mine.


oh Brad. GE doesn’t care if the Vikings run up the score!


Wow I have to say that this is rather ridiculous. Coming from someone who is extremely close to my own grandmother, I would give up $25,000.00 to go to her funeral. The fact is that no one should have to! It doesn’t make sense, if a close member of someone’s family has recently died you don’t penalize them over $25,000.00 to go home and organize a funeral. You just don’t. I respect Williamson for standing by his family and personal feelings in this matter. I think that Childress is simply enjoying his dictator-like power over his team. Now there’s a great big thank you for signing with the Vikings and sticking with them while they continue to fail! Sorry for your loss, we’ll keep $25,000.00 of your paycheck for you.


If you are making $435K a year, wouldn’t you have an assistant to deal with making travel arrangements for everyone? And if he was assisting in making the arrangments, couldn’t he have arranged for the funeral to be on a Saturday or a Monday instead of game day?

I guess I can see why some would say that the Vikings are a-holes, but when my grandmother died and was working at a busboy in a crappy restaurant and had to take the day off – my employer didn’t pay me, either.

Just wondering . . .


If I was making 435k a year, I would just pay tde to pretend to be my grandmother.


Rufus, good one!

Of course, it I was earning $435k/year, I would pay teedeeous to play my tackling dummy!


Rufus and Doodlebean – hilarious. It’s like Mort Sahl resurrected with a keyboard. Pure gold.


Oh, and Doodlebear, wasn’t your strategy yesterday to just ignore my posts and not respond to them? Feel free to go back to doing so. Or is a different voice in your head now telling you to do something different?


Mort Sahl is still alive. I mean he hasn’t arisen, yet.

That is all.


is it beating a dead horse to comment how the Vikings are lavishing money on their players?

who am I kidding? it’s a Sadly No comment thread!


mortkram – so it is possible that Doodlebear is actually Mort Sahl?


tde, so your employers were assholes too. Let me guess, non-union hourly job.


Gus – right-o. I guess the point I was trying to make is that employers – as a rule – are assholes and I am guessing that most people who miss a work day will either not get paid or have to burn a “vacation” day. Just sayin’ . . .


Nice underhanded swipe at the Pats, I now have to put in my two cents…

It’s their profession to score points, and there are (potentially) tie-breakers and (definitely) records related to how many points they score, yards they gain, etc. If they want to play more and score more, it’s their prerogative. Nowhere does it say you have to stop playing once you’re sure you’re going to win.

Does anyone criticize baseball teams for “running up the score?” Basketball teams? Hockey teams? Get a life.

Maybe the defenses ought to try STOPPING them.


Does anyone criticize baseball teams for “running up the score?” Basketball teams?

The latter, yes.


Dan – it usually doesn’t happen in baseball because there is very seldom a “safe” lead and no set time limit. As long as a losing team keeps putting men on base, the game goes on.

And baseball also has the “big inning rule” since in over 1/2 of games the winning team scores more runs in one inning than the losing team scores in the whole game.


I said this in a previous thread where the Patriots’ “running up the score” was discussed: If this is such a problem, then the NFL should implement a Slaughter Rule, so if a team is being beaten so badly that their self-esteem might suffer, they can end the game and go home for hot cocoa. With little marshmallows.


One might also mention the bellyaching that goes on when someone runs up the score at the Weblog Awards.


In baseball you run up the score in subtler ways. Like stealing a base with a 10 to 1 lead. That’s when pitchers start throwing at heads.


Payback for the weasely Brad and the Vikes is coming in the form of Bret Favre. Soon.


Who gives a fuck?

Michael Harrington

“Playing a game”, indeed. Anybody who could write that is straight out of central casting for Dumbass Cliché Spouter. The NFL isn’t tag. It’s a brutal, vicious game that is played for only a short time by most and debilitates many who play it. It’s a Faustian bargan and it’s run, uniformly, by people who act like something out of a Dickens novel.

The man lost an important family member. The Vikings, like any decent employer, should work with him and not look for the slightest excuse to bend him over a chair and their dimwitted apologists here suck as much as the NFL heirarchy does.


I would like to state for the record that there is nothing more pathetic and pansy-assed than bitching that the opposing team is scoring too many points.


Apparently, the Vikings players objected to management’s stinginess, and management has relented. Troy Williamson will get his pay.

They’re still assholes.


…earlier today the Packers stomped them in a fairly comprehensive fashion–justice?


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