And The First Medved Goes To . . .
Medved Award.
Every now and then I run across a sentence — a single sentence — that is such a perfect storm of wingnuttery and dumbfuckery that it really deserves a prize of some kind. Not a monetary prize or a lifetime supply of Deli Style Pepperoni Hot Pockets or even something less valuable, like an endowed chair at Pepperdine or Liberty University. But at least a moment of recognition and a name.
So Sadly, No! hereby establishes and awards the newly-created prize, which I’m calling the Medved after the name of its first recipient, for this jaw-dropping, brain-searing, wang-yanking, gag-inducing and yet awe-inspiring chef d’oeuvre* from Michael Medved:
Those who claim that the United States has become a rapacious, arrogant, destructive, domineering and imperialistic power must somehow explain the continued independent existence of the nation of Canada.
That’s a great argument and one with so many uses! For example, you say that Hitler was trying to take over Europe? Well, what about Switzerland? Huh? What about Switzerland??
People claim that Jeffrey Dahmer was a cannibal. But if he was, why didn’t he eat his next door neighbor, I ask you?
There may be future Medveds awarded, but this will, I believe, be the one that everyone remembers.
* Note to Dan Riehl: chef d’oeuvre is French for “masterpiece.”
** Note to S,N!’s sad-sack bunch of current trolls, all of whom appear to be too cranked up on sugar and caffeine from liter after liter of Mountain Dew Game Code to even be entertaining: I am not comparing the U.S. to Nazi Germany or a gay cannibal. This will no doubt be super double hard for you to understand given that most of you can’t even figure out which side of the Big Mac should be up when you bite into it. (Hint: the seeds should be on top.)
The fact is, liberals envy people like Medved and the success he has won through hard work, they should work harder instead of complaining and warring other classes and stirring up resendment among decent folk.
Oh, give Medved a break. He just learned about the existence of Canada a couple of years ago when he heard Ann Coulter talking about how Canada had sent troops to Vietnam. Last week, after thinking hard about how there could be a whole entire North American country of whose existence he was unaware, Medved finally realized that the existence of Canada proves that the US is more benevolent than Harold Pinter and Noam Chomsky are letting on.
But, you understand, he’s still not entirely clear on the concept:
Just wait ’til he finds out about Québec!
The suprise in that statement by Medved is that he didn’t use it as an excuse to advocate for the bombing and/or invasion of Canada, or as he likes to call it “the home of godless terrorist hippies plotting on our northern border.”
And you can’t say that Saddam didn’t have WMD because it’s impossible to prove a negative!
(I propose the notion of ignoring the trolls so our current infestation will fade away)
Actually, we tried twice, but Canada swept us in a best of three series.
Considering we’ve invaded Canada twice, maybe Medved thinks the third time would be the charm?
First time was the Revolutionary War, second was the War of 1812.
I’m all for an invasion, personally, it would give Blue America a big edge since Canada’s more liberal than America, and there’d be 20 more senators.
“Decent folk”, Ruppert? Leaves you out, doesn’t it?
http://thumbsnap.com/v/DD4cql02.jpg
Let’s try a page from the wingnut playbook, the ole switcheroo:
“Those who claim that
the United StatesIraq has become a terrorist haven run by a mad dictator who hates freedom and is sitting on stockpiles of WMDs that he’s ready to use must somehow explain the continued independent existence of the nation ofCanadaIranKuwaitITALY.Yeah, I guess it works sometimes.
Those who think that the meltdown at Chernobyl was a disaster must somehow explain the continued independent existence of the nation of Russia.
I ‘m tickled by the idea that I envy Michael Medved’s success. Success at what?
Because last time you tried to invade us, we burned down the goddam White House.
Medved’s just upset because there hasn’t been a Canuck movie that jibes with his worldview since Porky’s.
Oh, great! New ideas for Bush/Chenney! Now all we need is someone to mention all these Alberta oil deposits…
Wait. Porky’s is Canadian? And you’re admitting that?
Come back proud canadian’s,
To before you had TV.
No hockey night in canada,
there was no CBC.
In 1812 madison was mad,
He was the president you know.
Well he thought he’d tell the british where they ought to go.
He thought he’d invade canada,
He thought that he was tough.
Instead we went to washington,
And burned down all his stuff.
And the white house burned, burned, burned.
And we’re the ones that did it,
It burned, burned, burned.
While the president ran and cried,
It burned, burned, burned.
And things were very historical,
And the Americans ran and cried like a bunch of little babies WaWaWa
In the war of 1812.
Those hilbilies from kentucky,
Dressed in green and red.
Left home to fight in canada,
But they returned home dead.
It’s the only war the yankies lost except for vietnam.
And also the alomo and the bay of ham.
The loser was america,
The winner was ourselfs.
So join right in and gloat about the war of 1812.
And the white house burned, burned, burned.
And we’re the ones that did it,
It burned, burned, burned.
While the president ran and cried,
It burned, burned, burned.
And things were very historical,
And the Americans ran and cried like a bunch of little babies WaWaWa
In the war of 1812.
In 1812 we were just sitting around,
Minding our own business,
Putting crops into the ground.
We heard the soilders coming,
And we didn’t like that sound.
So we took a boat to washington and burned it to the ground.
Oh we fired our guns but the yankies kept a coming,
There wasn’t quite as many as there was a while ago.
We fired once more and the yankies started running,
Down the mississippi to the gulf of mexico.
They ran through the snow,
And they ran through the forest,
They ran through the bushes where the beavers wouldn’t go,
They ran so fast they forgot to take they’re culture,
Back to america, and gulf and mexico.
So if you go to washington,
It’s building clean and nice,
Bring a pack of matches,
And we’ll burn the white house twice.
And the white house burned, burned, burned,
But the americans wont admit it.
It burned, burned, burned…
It burned and burned and burned
It burned, burned, burned
I bet that made them mad.
And the Americans ran and cried like a bunch of little babies WaWaWa
In the war of 1812.
–The War of 1812 by The Arrogant Worms
I got to see the stage version of this. 😀
Those people who think that dogs are good pets must somehow explain the continued existence of domesticated cats.
Shorter Medved: We’ cool, we’ cool, yo… We don’t hatin’ on the dawgs from the ‘hood, yo
LMAO! The Medved Award, how droll.
btw Has anybody looked around up here lately? They’ve already taken over. Walmart anyone? McDonald’s? Home Depot?
PS I hope I’m not one of the troll gaggle.
Doodle Bean said,
(I propose the notion of ignoring the trolls so our current infestation will fade away)
Ignoring ’em, unfortunately, just brings out teh shrill.
Squash them like the vacuous bedwetting chickenhawks they are.
“I ‘m tickled by the idea that I envy Michael Medved’s success. Success at what?”
Being a pig ignorant bigot / asshole / sociopath, entirely incapable of proffering a sustainable thought, coupled with the inability to experience even a moment of introspection?
This, after all, is the highest praise one wingnut could offer another wingnut.
The US is like a gay Nazi cannibal.
Somebody had to say it.
Smilin’ Tom,
Naw, they’re looking for attention. Try ignoring them even if they up the volume. You’ll see!
And Krassen,
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
You understand that there are fewer things more appropriate to compare the current state of the US to than a bright-eyed young gay cannibal (who looks vaguely like the sort of guy who comes to your door to tell you about God), right? Possibly only if he was wearing a bowtie would it be more apt.
Fifty-four Forty or Fight!
[…] Medved Award By Doug Sadly, No presents the Medved Award to a sentence — a single sentence — that is such a perfect storm of wingnuttery and […]
[…] Medved Award By Doug Sadly, No presents the Medved Award to a sentence — a single sentence — that is such a perfect storm of wingnuttery and […]
Oh, by the way, I’ve been trying to think of something people who say the United States hasn’t become a rapacious, arrogant, destructive, domineering and imperialistic power need to explain. I’ll let you know if I come up with anything.
Hm. The substantial cultural and linguistic differences of our Mexican neighbors to the south did not put the brakes on our conquest of half their country. But nemmind.
each sentence of that screed is a pearl of wrongness. stimpy, the wealth of your ignorance astounds me!
on the other hand, yeah me!!!!!111!!!!
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/film/news/e3i903d9ca529efbd33d7b535e2096cc44a
Ahhhh the war of 1812, the prototype of every war America has ever lost. Military incompetence. Political confusion about objectives and goals. Logistical corruption. Bravery. Sacrifice. Even some heroism, and an uncanny ability to rebound from the failure, forget about it and pretend it never happened; which lays the groundwork for the next military adventure.
Ahhhh, America you have ever been thus.
Actually after Iraq I am not sure the United States could defeat Canada. Conventionally yes, but the canuks have thermal underwear for the guerilla campaign that follows the occupation and I don’t know how the USArmy would tolerate that. Think of a liberal Red Dawn.
Beavers!!!! Bury me with the fallen at Patriote Roche.
also, “deli style”? which deli is hot pockets talking about exactly?
and i’ll note now with more meat (bolding in original) for extra wingnuttery!
Oh Canada!!!!!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Rt1_6uz_sVU
Herk herk
I think that it’s rapacious, arrogant, destructive, domineering and imperialistic to presume to tell everyone the one, true, correct way of eating a Big Mac. Next you’ll be telling me I have to nuke the hot pocket before I eat it.
The Gay Young Cannibals! I loved that ‘she Drives Me Crazy’ song. Catch-y.
BTW-
WTF?
Damn, that’s stoopid to the 23rd power.
Now that we’ve Michael Medved the first Medved Award for dumb-fuckery, we retire it, right?
“Hint: the seeds should be on top.”
So, that’s not my lap sprouting?
Pock
That should read “Now that we’ve GIVEN Michael Medved the first Medved Award for dumb-fuckery, we retire it, right?”
More coffee here, please!
Congrats Mr. Green. One question? What exactly does an ‘Executive Producer’ do?
I‘m tickled by the idea that I envy Michael Medved’s success. Success at what?
Hey, he’s got an award for jaw-dropping dumbassery named after him–and it’s not even a memorial award. What have you ever done that compares, moonbat?
Medved has never been to Canada has he?
Canadians had the foresight not to build their country on oil deposits. However they do seem to exist around a lot of water. Now that the U.S. may be looking at a water shortage . . . Canadians might want to think about beefing up their military.
Congrats Mr. Green. One question? What exactly does an ‘Executive Producer’ do?
I wish to second both the congratulations and the question.
Actually after Iraq I am not sure the United States could defeat Canada. Conventionally yes, but the canuks have thermal underwear for the guerilla campaign that follows the occupation and I don’t know how the USArmy would tolerate that.
Global warming, bitches!!!
The concept of receiving an endowed chair as a prize for winning a Medved is far too Larry Craigish.
Brilliantly beautiful.
I intend to justify most things in my personal life from this point forward by blaming and Independent Canada. Especially now that they have the most valuable currency on the planet!
http://www.theskinofmyteeth.com
David
Heehee! Clif ends his post with a message to S,N!’s dumbass trolls, and who makes the first comment? It reminds of “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”.
The important thing to remember when eating a Big Mac is, after the first bite, the burger will now be crescent-shaped. Therefore, it is vital to ensure that the crescent is not oriented in the general direction of Mecca, otherwise you are assisting the Islamofascists’ nefarious plan to turn every McDonalds into a de facto mosque.
I think that it’s rapacious, arrogant, destructive, domineering and imperialistic to presume to tell everyone the one, true, correct way of eating a Big Mac.
I agree. Have you so soon forgotten that Dick Fosbury, Olympic gold medalist and inventor of the Fosbury Flop, celebrated his winning technique by eating Quarter Pounders upside down? On television?
How aboot settling it with a hockey fight death match?
Bobby Hull vs. Pat LaFontaine, Jack O’Callahan and Mike Modano.
Pick any 3 American born players you want vs. The Golden Jet. Hell, I think brother Dennis could take them.
Medved:
This misconception helped to produce one of the most common (and ignorant) indictments of the Iraq War, with angry critics of Bush policy emphatically insisting: “This is the first time in history we ever attacked any country that hadn’t attacked us first.” In fact, virtually all our major wars began without some clear-cut attack by the enemy on American soil: the French-and-Indian War, the Revolutionary War, the War of 1812, the Mexican War, the Spanish American War, World War I, Korea, Vietnam and the First Gulf War claimed a total of tens of thousands of American lives based on incidents or interests, but without any undeniable mass assault. In 230 years of history only the Civil War (where Lincoln cleverly lured Southern forces into the initial bombardment of federal property at Fort Sumter) and World War II (where Japan struck at precisely one of those outposts of empire in distant Hawaii that anti-imperialists often decry) commenced in response to enemy strikes.
Are there people out there who are saying that we shouldn’t have attacked Iraq because we’ve never done anything like it before? I thought the argument was that we shouldn’t have done it in the past, and we shouldn’t do it now because it’s wrong and sets a dangerous precedent in the modern world.
Medved:While American traditions hardly fit the “isolationist” and quiescent stereotypes that many anti-interventionists revere, they also amount to a far cry from the colonialist and imperialist selfishness associated with the European powers.
True, while American stretched itself across the North American continent, grabbing half of Mexico and ignoring any claims to territory by native peoples from coast to coast, it mostly refrained from trying to colonize territories on other continents. What awe-inspiring selflessness.
“Those who claim that the United States has become a rapacious, arrogant, destructive, domineering and imperialistic power must somehow explain the continued independent existence of the nation of Canada.”
Funny, that reads like a “Shorter Medved,” but it’s not. It’s like he’s trying to parody-proof himself by saying incredibly stupid things. Good luck with that, Mike. Didn’t work for Doughy Pantload, won’t work for you.
Sure, we achieved representational government almost two hundred years ago, petitioned and won self-government over a hundred years ago, developed the laws and institutions of a democratic state, exercised sovereignty over a land-mass bordering three oceans with population programs and economic development, resisted foreign invasions and participated in foreign wars in support of our allies, have become the World’s eighth largest economy with one of the highest standards of living and have managed to acomodate two European cultures within one federation…but still…it’s all an illusion created out of the temperance and indulgence of our bestest friends to the South.
Thank you for reminding us of that, Mr. Medved.
“(Hint: the seeds should be on top.)”
Au contraire (that’s French, I think) — the seeds can go on top OR bottom, not (Wingnuts take note) on the side.
That stuff in between (which consists of meat-substitute-program-materials as well as tomato, wilted lettuce, passed-your-eyes process cheese-like substances, and pickles) tends to fall out if you hold it that way.
Then again, to wingnuts, such reminders are a form of “concern trolling” (which they are attempting to patent, despite the existence of prior art) and are likely to be ignored. So if you see someone eating his Big Mac with the roll held vertically and a lap full of juice and shredded veggies, you’re probably seeing a wingnut in his natural habitat. Be wary of any interaction with any suchlike.
Ed
Hi.
Thanks for the recognition, though I need to ask – please don’t compare me to Canadians, or residents of the U.S., or Jeffrey Dahmer. And certainly not Michael Medved.
If I was a movie pitch, I would be something like…actually, don’t even compare me to a movie pitch.
I am what I am, and that’s all that I am. No need to be afraid, I don’t bite. I gnaw.
virtually all our major wars began without some clear-cut attack by the enemy on American soil: the French-and-Indian War, the Revolutionary War, the War of 1812, the Mexican War, the Spanish American War, World War I, Korea, Vietnam and the First Gulf War
What a curious view of history! George Washington was the agressor at Ft. Necessity, Lexington and Concord didn’t happen, impressment of American sailors on the high seas wasn’t a legitimate causus belli, the proper US/Mexican boundary is evidently the Nueces River rather than the Rio Grande, forget the Maine, the Zimmerman Telegram was nothing to get upset about . . .
Why does this man hate America?
Holy. Wow. Yeah, that’s a mind-blowing sentence.
Fantastic trophy, btw.
Caveat: btw Has anybody looked around up here lately? They’ve already taken over. Walmart anyone? McDonald’s? Home Depot?
Those who claim that Walmart and McDonalds are rapacious, arrogant, destructive, domineering and imperialistic retailers must somehow explain the continued independent existence of Tim Hortons and Canadian Tire.
rea, Medved hates America because it’s so easy to hate what you don’t know.
(and I proudly accept my overused cliches award. thank you all so much)
Kind of like this creationist argument I’ve seen made more than once: if humans evolved from apes, why are there still apes running around?
virtually all our major wars began without some clear-cut attack by the enemy on American soil: the French-and-Indian War, the Revolutionary War, the War of 1812, the Mexican War, the Spanish American War, World War I, Korea, Vietnam and the First Gulf War
Well when you idea of historic documentery is the “Land Before Time”, it does mess with concept of cause and effect.
Remember me, Mike?
Tim Hortons was bought by Wendy’s in 1995.
The Bay was bought by an American in 2006 as well.
Canadian Tire is about all Canada has left.
And why are there human beings who are dumber than apes? Maybe Medved is subtly trying to prove that Devo was right.
…where Lincoln cleverly lured Southern forces into the initial bombardment of federal property at Fort Sumter…
I can just picture Lincoln waving his hat and a flag on the ramparts of the fort and mincing, “Yoo-hoo, boys! Betcha can’t hit my hat!!!”
Can’t stop laughing.
In fairness, I usually eat my hamburgers upside-down so as to minimize the amount of soak-through in the buns. On the other hand, I don’t like Big Macs.
Tim Hortons was bought by Wendy’s in 1995.
You mean that the best food in Canada (other than poutine) is actually made by an American company?
I feel confident the Canadians will greet us as liberators.
This is Medved’s little reminder that if America wanted to it could take over the WOOOOOOOOORLD. Instead, America allows other countries their independence. God bless America.
Furthermore, Canada Dry is marketed by Texas-based Dr Pepper/Seven-Up which in turn is owned by British-based Cadbury-Schweppes which in turn is managed by Martian-based Nasgruz MegaCorp.
I love how Medved framed Ron Paul with the word “insurgent.”
These impassioned critics of the current War on Terror (many of them clustered in and around the insurgent Presidential campaign of Congressman Ron Paul)
“This will no doubt be super double hard for you to understand given that most of you can’t even figure out which side of the Big Mac should be up when you bite into it. (Hint: the seeds should be on top.)”
LIBRUL SESEME SEED ELITIST!!!11!!
I love the award’s overall design. It perfectly resembles Medved’s belief that America was this big Ozzie and Harriet episode before the big bad liberals told their innocent children that sex and minorities existed.
I may be too sick to read SN today. Laughing at this brought on a coughing fit that probably set back my recovery a few days.
As if the idea of being envious of a twit like Michael Medved isn’t funny enough by itself.
Those who claim that McDonald’s has become a rapacious, arrogant, destructive, domineering and imperialistic power must somehow explain the continued independent existence of Burger King.
The US is like a gay Nazi cannibal.
You say that like it’s a BAD thing…
Oh, and I have to assume that an executive producer bosses around the more junior level producers in order to minimize their actual productivity. That’s pretty much the universal definition of “executive”…
mikey
Yeah. Sweet gig.
Canada, huh.
This misconception helped to produce one of the most common (and ignorant) indictments of the Iraq War, with angry critics of Bush policy emphatically insisting: “This is the first time in history we ever attacked any country that hadn’t attacked us first.”
Hello, is this Bales O’ Hay, Inc.? Yes, I need a couple of bales for a fresh new straw man. Yeah, instead of saying “attacked a country that was not a threat to us,” I’m going to claim that there are people who say “attacked a country that hadn’t attacked us first.” Then I’m going to pretend that there is nothing at all to reflect on as I rattle off a list of unprovoked wars that we’ve been in. Does your product cover up gaping holes of thought?
Anschluss!
executive producers do whatever they can to remain relevant, on an ongoing basis. when one is working with tom cruise and paula wagner (tom’s partner), relevance is…well, there’s not a lot to do. give some notes on a script, help with talent (though with guillermo del toro and tom cruise, that won’t need much help).
going to the set and getting a photo taken with a “i hate gary ruppert” t-shirt while putting my arm around tom–now that is priceless.
You must provide a picture for Teh Sammich Gallery.
going to the set and getting a photo taken with a “i hate gary ruppert” t-shirt while putting my arm around tom–now that is priceless.
What would happen if you walked into the faculty lounge at Harvard wearing a “I hate Gary Ruppert” t-shirt?
at least medved didn’t insult our cultural icon’s Bob and Doug McKenzie
An invasion of Canada would pay for itself with- um- tundra?
That’s pretty cool, Robert Green. Good luck and see if you can get a Sadly reference into the script somehow a la the Simpsons. Or maybe have a character named Ruppert who commits horrible crimes.
Hey Robert! Maybe you will get the opportunity to name a minor character (hopefully recurring) “Gary Ruppert”.
Now, that would be funny.
And hell, it’s a perfectly valid name.
I named my pet spider Gary Ruppert. Then I hit the nasty little fucker with about half a can of Raid.
So I guess the name is once again available…
mikey
Medved is a person of monumental intelect, but he perhaps unwisely decided to dispatch all malcontents in one piece. Thus on page 1 he argues “why, if we were so rapacious, we would take over Canada (and never mind the cold)”, and on page 2 he argues that we always were fighting some wars just because we like that.: “This self-image survives, despite four hundred years of steady expansion and an ever-deepening involvement in world affairs, and despite innumerable wars, interventions and prolonged occupations in foreign lands…”
So if American farmers were coveting lands in Oklahoma, Indian teritory was dissolved, and some treaties were broken, like many Indian treaties before. Somehow, there were no hundreds of thousands of eager settlers for the fertile, but damn cold, preries of Saskatchewan, Manitoba and Alberta. Nearby states were not exactly overpopulated. Somehow the British have much larger tolerance for cold. Reagan had Grenada, Thatcher had Falklands. She would even defend Southern Georgia if the latter was invaded. By the way of contrast, where did we tolerate foreign occupation of American soil? Alaskan Islands in the Bering Sea! And there were not a huge priority in the War on Pacific.
Anyway, because the argument on page 2 goes to counter that on page 1, the award is doubly justified. Everyone can marshall some stupid arguments, but to argue two contradicting claims, both stupidly, this shows the mettle that future award winners should strive to emulate.
Just an ethnic detail: as Medved means “Bear”, I would postulate to have a bear motif in the award artwork. A bear-biting scene?
Next you’ll be telling me I have to nuke the hot pocket before I eat it.
Nuke Iran, not Hot Pockets!
The US is like a gay Nazi cannibal.
That was basically the subtext of Ravenous.
chef d’oeuvre is French for “masterpiece.”
Damn. I’ve been calling myself that any time I boil an egg. No wonder the Frau Doktorin was laughing.
Will you be establishing a Ruppert award next?
I named my pet spider Gary Ruppert. Then I hit the nasty little fucker with about half a can of Raid.
‘Round here, that would only cause a massive mutattion. Not, I repeat, NOT caused by evolution, though!
actually, i’m working on an american remake of a show called Spaced that simon pegg and edgar wright did in the uk (they are not involved in our remake, or are only insofar as edgar on his myspace page wished that all of us involved would get “beriberi” and fail miserably.)
the show cries out for a character named gary ruppert, and i hereby pledge to do everything in my power to make it happen.
perhaps an episode where “beth”, the unfuckingbelievably annoying asshole neighbor, shows up with her new boyfriend, obvious-serial-killer gary ruppert (who makes a habit of referring to himself by his full name “hi, i’m gary ruppert”). the gang tries to steer beth away from gary, worried that he is about to chop her up into little pieces, but as beth continues to annoy the shit out of them they say fuck it and she and gary leaves. she is never heard from again.
oh and while i’m whoring over here, lions for lambs is an excellent movie. watch the trailer above. it’s not going to get universal acclaim, but it is terrific (as is the new depalma movie which is coming out in two weeks but can be ppv’d on cable or satellite right now).
“getting a photo taken with a “i hate gary ruppert” t-shirt while putting my arm around tom…”
Would Mr. Cruise try on such a shirt?
oh, no he didn’t… (clicking through now)
omg, he did.
Well, I see that Southern Apologia is alive and well at Townhall. I have to go rinse my eyes with vinegar now – thanks much.
I loved Spaced! Go for it!
Actually, if you really wanted to fuck with those two you’d make Gary a gay socialist and have beth start dating a muslim. She should be in a burka by episode three.
Robert Green:
God I sure hope that ends up closer to the American version of “The Office”, instead of the American version of “Coupling” or “Red Dwarf”
piotr said, November 8, 2007 at 21:24:
“… as Medved means “Bear”, I would postulate to have a bear motif in the award artwork. A bear-biting scene?”
Well, one really doesn’t have to look too hard…
http://www.sadlyno.com/wordpress/uploads/2007/09/counterursingency.jpg
God I sure hope that ends up closer to the American version of “The Office”, instead of the American version of “Coupling” or “Red Dwarf”
Second that – didn’t they try to import Father Ted and end up setting it in New York City? Is there a law that American import shows have to be in the big apple? And dumbed down a whole bunch?
God, what a fucking rock stupid, soulless little piss-ant that Medved is. I’d like to slap that stupid Super Mario mustache right of his ugly, corpse like face.
What is his point anyway? No body is making the argument that Iraq is somehow without president in history. Dumb fucker, just because we used to have a lot of “savage wars of peace” (God, you’re actually quoting Max Boot!) doesn’t mean we should keep having them today. Just because you hand over someones country to a puppet dictator rather than annexing it outright doesn’t mean you’re not an imperialist!
Here, I’ll break it down for you Medved, you ignorant slut. We haven’t invaded Canada (recently) because there isn’t enough poor brown people nor oil. We also don’t have any sort of plausible reason to do so. We can’t claim that Canada is ruled by a dictator and that we’re bringing freedom to the poor wogs. We can’t claim that Canada is going to attack us. God, you stupid bloodthirsty little toad! That we haven’t attacked one country isn’t evidence of our benevolence.
Feh, if God, the Gods or the Laws of Karma have a sense of humor, you’re going to be re-incarnated as some illiterate Mideastern prole, so you can experience our “benevolence” first hand. Fucking creep.
God I sure hope that ends up closer to the American version of “The Office”, instead of the American version of “Coupling” or “Red Dwarf”
Allow me to third that, I saw one episode of the American “Red Dwarf” and I still have flashbacks that leave me trembling and rocking in a corner. I greet the notion of an American “Spaced” with intense trepidation…but slightly less than when I heard someone over here was going to butcher…er…I mean remake “Life on Mars”.
I got mad at Canada once, but then I came down with a serious crush on Jewel Staite, and I had to give it up.
I hate to puke in anyone’s Rice Krispies, but the US did not lose the War of 1812. There was no clear winner coming out of the war, although if anything the conflict had benefitted the US more than its adversaries.
Robert Green: Have your picture taken next to Top Cat while sporting an “L. Ron Hitler” tee, if working for those limeys @ Granada hasn’t turned you into a poofter.
Apparently Santaologists don’t respond well to tee-shirts.
One day soon, the wingers will wake up (literally, not figuratively) and start bleating that when they said Global Warming was a “Liberal Lie,” they meant it was “the Liberal’s Fault.” Then Canada is gonna have to answer for why they’re sitting on our wheat-growing land.
And good luck Mr. Green. I gather that the fact that the last successful American transplant of a British show was, as far as I can recall, Sanford and Son doesn’t diminish anyone’s enthusiasm in Hollywoodland. I remember when–I think it was ABC–made a big thing about buying the rights to three British comedies. I watched about five minutes of the Fawlty Towers remake, and didn’t bother with the rest. But what do I know? I thought Hugh Laurie was a comedian.
Isn’t there a trade-term for retooling British shows for the American market? I’ve just had my biennial reminder that cyclists don’t even count for bonus points with the under-25 set, so I’m not quite up to par today.
Ahh, The Office. (re: nothing since S&S) ‘Fraid I live in a cable-free zone. With crappy broadcast availability.
Every time I get up to thinking, “What’s forty bucks a month?” I end up actually watching someone else’s cable and lose all motivation.
An Americanized Red Dwarf? Lemme guess, Rimmer was nothing like a wingnut and Lister was, well, not black?
Let me know if I’m wrong, maybe I’ll think about cable again.
First, Godwin’s Law!
Second, I wholeheartedly agree with the post. Medved has shown an amazing propensity for responding to rhetoric…with rhetoric. I won’t go so far as to say the United States is completely war-mongering and imperialistic (only slightly), but even if we were, what good would it do us to invade Canada? No offense to any Canadians, but it’s not as if the country is of major strategic value, unless we’re planning to invade Iceland or Greenland (and the only reason to do that would be to rename them Iceland and Big Iceland). I don’t think Medved understands that even budding empires know when an invasion is pointless.
And their seed will be on the… never mind.
Second that – didn’t they try to import Father Ted and end up setting it in New York City? Is there a law that American import shows have to be in the big apple? And dumbed down a whole bunch?
Please tell me this is not true, an american Father Ted set in New York….
God I sure hope that ends up closer to the American version of “The Office”, instead of the American version of “Coupling” or “Red Dwarf”
Arrrgghhh, I’ve just watched several consecutive minutes of the “Red Dwarf USA” pilot, and I want to scrub out my brain. Sweet weeping baby Jeebus, how could they take something so good and turn it into something so utterly shite? I mean, lordy, I’m not a screenwriter, or even a human, but I’m damn sure I could turn out something that would at least get the occasional laugh (and wouldn’t make viewers retch).
The Office. Red Dwarf. Arsing buggery fuckpants.
“Spaced” will not be set in NY. it will not be shitty. it will be funny, keeping the spirit of the original and hopefully creating something that can speak both to the cult and to the a wider audience. that’s the program. and it will be the coolest looking half hour sitcom ever on US tv.
Isn’t there a trade-term for retooling British shows for the American market?
Shite-making?
Speaking of the UK–>US —> Shite..Wonder if they will screw up The I/T Crowd.. that is if they haven’t shelved the pilot.
Please tell me this is not true, an american Father Ted set in New York….
I haven’t been able to substantiate that. I may have dreamed it.
Believable, though, isn’t it?
“The Prisoner” needs to be in my cineplex.
Please don’t let it suck.
He should have said “the continued existence of the Pueblo Indians.” Oh right, the Pueblo tribes were able to stay put and not have to fight against the US Cavalry but they experience all of the same anxieties as the other tribes.
Wasn’t Medved oringally a movie critic?
[…] via Sadly, No! […]
Canada has strategic value all right, the problem is when you audition folks for the role of an evil overlord of Regina, Saskatchewan.
An alternative would be to give political rights to the conquered Canadians, and then there would be a liberal majority in freshly expanded USA. Some of the incorporated teritories legalized gay marriage. So no, we would need evil overloards, but they would have to telecommute from Atlanta. Who in turn could be subjected to on-line attacks.
But a more important thing is that on page one Medved argues that we are soo nice that we never invaded Canada, and on page two he argues that only morons pine for our non-imperialist past because we always were engaged in some expedition there, occupation here etc. Apparently, we missed Canada due to attention deficiency disorder.
If I ever start feeling down, I’ll just think of this idiot and laugh uncontrollably.
As a Canadian, I’d like to thank Mike for putting a smile on my face.
“Those who claim that the United States has become a rapacious, arrogant, destructive, domineering and imperialistic power must somehow explain the continued independent existence of the nation of Canada.”
Hey, goddammit, you try walking around the mall dressed in a – hang on – (cut)rapacious, arrogant, destructive, domineering and imperialistic power(paste) suit and see how you get treated!
Mr. Green, make sure your Gary Ruppert begins each and EVERY sentence with “The fact is….”
BTW, where can I find your wife’s book?
An American remake of Spaced without Simon or Edgar involved plus willingly working with destructive cult nutcase and one-note actor Tom Cruise? I don’t think you know how to brag properly; it really shouldn’t make people think you lack principles, taste or backbone. Just sayin’.
Ah, the war of 1812! I’ll give a high five to anyone who can state the (truly) monumental consequences of it. Nope, it’s nothing to do with Canadian rowdies burning the White House, or the Battle of New Orleans.
OK, here’s a hint. There was a big loser, and it wasn’t the USA, Canada, or Britain.
Shorter Medved, “How can you call America evil if we only invade non-white countries? Only evil people like Hitler attack white people.”
>Those who claim that the United States has become a rapacious, arrogant, destructive, domineering and imperialistic power must somehow explain the continued independent existence of the nation of Canada.
As opposed to the continued independent existence of, say, Cuba?
Perhaps those tendencies do NOT equate to successful invasions.
(Earlier posts adequately note the Revolutionary War and the War of 1812.)
FOUR YEARS LATER AND WE’RE STILL WATING FOR THE SECOND ONE
PULL YOUR PLUS-FOURS UP AND GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER
AND BRUSH YOUR HAIR ONCE IN A WHILE
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