Gavin. Dammit. I really considered you one of my friends.

Then you go and do this?

Fucker…

mikey

She sounds exactly like Amy Poehler when Poehler is playing one of her “I’m completely mentally incompetent” characters on SNL.

It’s official.

Wingnut parodies are indistinguishable from the real thing.

I cannot believe that is real…yet, there it is.

I think we can all agree that Oprah Winfrey is teh greatest threat to free speech the United States has faced in all of her history.

Shorter Debbie Schlussel:

She and Dick Cheney both talk out of only one side of their mouth. And have you ever seen Debbie Schlussel and Dick Cheney together?

Coincidence? I think not!

Golly, she’s ignorant, isn’t she?

Vlogging with that head furthers evidence of questionable judgment.

On the plus side, she’s funnier than Julia Gorin.

At least she wasn’t singing. I couldn’t taken another “My Sharia”

DSL is supposed to be restored @ the House of Bouffant w/in an hour. (AT&T’s been saying that for wks.) But as I’ve been able not to enjoy either Pamela of the Many Last Names nor the sudden Debbie triple-play that we’ve been blessed with, it may have been worth the wait.

She and Dick Cheney both talk out of only one side of their mouth.

Stroke/brain damage.

Notorious PAT – that’s the first person I thought of when I watched these. great parody..err…egad. it makes me sad to think this is real.

Sorry for stupid European’s question, but are your right-wing pundits ALL robots? Because this lady seriously lacks facial movements, that dancing …..thing…… was just horrible, not mentioning child torture, and so forth…..

Please don’t forget that this vlogging moron is the same person who brags in her online bio about her ability to speak four languages (including Russian and Arabic) and her ability to go “undercover” in her quest for The Truth About Islamofascism.

are your right-wing pundits ALL robots?

Sadly, no. If they were, we could remove their battery packs and send them off to the robot factory for dismantling and reconfiguring.

I’m sure mikey can attest to this, but you know how, when they’re out in the combat field, living every minute of every day under threat of instant, painful death?
You learn things. Things they don’t teach you in basic, or in any manual.
Things that keep you alive.

One of the things I’ve learned over the months here at S,N!; “Never watch any posted video with Atlas, Malkin, or Debbie in them. Just don’t do it.”

You start out naive. You start out thinking, oh sure, they’re bad now, but I’ll get used to them. I’ll get tough. It’ll get easier.

It never gets easier.

I couldn’t have said it better, Some Guy.

I still haven’t watched it, because I know it will hurt me, and I know the essential contents.

She should drink and blog more. That way, she’d get way more hits.

Finally…some competition for Alan Colmes.

Debbie wins for most annoying wingnut voice, female division. Jonah wins the overall competition.

BWAHAHAHA!!!

That MOUTH, that ugly ugly mouth with its stupid stupid accent and its ugly ugly words.

No wonder it droops, stretched out from all the hate and lies it has had to twist itself around.

We should start a charity, save the strudels mouth, stop her from spewing BS today and save her mouth.
But debbie’s mind is cruel and committed to evil, talk therapy or Prozac will not be enough. Yes men, we need to administer electric shock therapy to clean away the republicanism disorder.

No wonder she’s still a virgin.

And, seriously, “Debbie does politics”?
Are you kidding me?

You liberal are DOOMED!!! DOOMED COME 2008!!! Nancy Pelosi and the demonrat congerss have 11% approval rating! One third that of our great patriot President Bush! Looks like Fred Thompson will be in the white house very soon ! BWAHAHAHA!!!

It’s like watching a transgendered Clutch Cargo.

Does she even know she’s named her vlog after a porn movie?

My descent into hell had this trajectory: I watched about 2 minutes of the first one before hitting the “shut the fuck up Debbie” button. Made it about 30 seconds into the second one before hitting the STFUD button. Third one, all I got to was “Hi this is Debbie Schussel from D…” before I fled with what remained of my sanity.

It’s like watching a transgendered Clutch Cargo.

Oh my God, I nearly died laughing at that one.

Whoo! Thanks.

She’s not a virgin by choice, I would guess.

And Fred “Where Is He?” Thompson may be the nominee, since GOP voters are so stupid, but saul, he’s worked in Hollywood for a long time.

Do you think, given this indisputable life-experience, that he doesn’t know some homos he doesn’t like?

President Bush is a “great patriot” like I’m Moses, and parting seas is something you, saul, can just ask me to do.

Why are you here? Surely there are other sites who will think you have some connection to reality.

I’ve seen people refer to her as Costco Coulter, but damn, she’s really more like Big Lots. Costco has some nice stuff.

Howard Stern used to have her on (right after 9/11) because they initially thought she knew what she was talking about. Eventually, she would just come on and Artie would imitate her voice for the whole segment. “Is-lam-ic Jee-haad”

Debbie: four republican legs good!

I actually feel a little bad for her….

She really does, Jillian: When she tried to say co-star, she voiced “cue-steer” like some kind of concentrated stereotypical Bostonese. (I’m really out of my depth talking about Boston accents, though.)

And I feel good now, for Some Guy is no longer an FNG, he can be trusted to keep his section alive and prevent some kid from getting stupid doing something stupid, and he’ll likely come back from his tour in the t00bz in one piece.

And I can DeROS without worrying about his young ass…

There it is, m’man. There it mother fuckin IS…

mikey

I like how she didn’t know the campaign contribution limit, so it was (clumsily, of course) inserted after the fact.

Pathetic.

Y’know, I’ve never seen her on TV – I had no idea that she was so blah in front of the camera, had this weird accent, and has Cheney lips. Why on earth has she ever been on TV?

FYI, this is much more interesting and informative if you play all three vlogs at the same time. Kind of like Dark Side of the Rainbow, except that I don’t recommend watching this with a head full of blotter.

Leftys I will be back later tonight. I am going to watch the O’reilly Factor and then Hannity & Holmes, then I shall return to strike down your liebrul fallicies with the truth! Until we meet again.
Shalom!

Talk about a gratuitous use of visual aids. She really needs to figure out how to get the little window up beside her head or something.

Where the hells g? I truly hit it out of the park tonight.

Tilapia filets, soaked in 50/50 egg and white wine, breaded with flour and corn meal and cayenne pepper, pan fried. Green beans, steamed, topped with a garlic/herb/cheese sauce based on a bechemel. That puppy thickened up PERFECTLY! and oh lord it was good. Corn bread and a tomato, avocado, basil and mozzarella salad. With last nights carbonara (I know, don’t tell the doc, ok?) it’s been a very good week for dinner.

What’s up for chow in topanga?

mikey

A long-time member of MENSA, the high IQ society, Schlussel is a practicing business, information technology, and commercial litigation attorney. President of her own business, the Schlussel Entertainment Group, a legal/business company representing professional athletes, entertainers, broadcasters, media personalities, businesses, a production company, and providing consulting to professional sports leagues and teams and collegiate sports programs regarding such issues as Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) compliance. The real-life, female “Jerry Maguire,” Schlussel has represented athletes and entertainers in the National Football League, National Hockey League, Major League Baseball, the Olympics, and even some of The Beach Boys.

From her bio at Political USA.

It’s more that one woman from Mad TV. Or maybe a cross between Poehler and Rachel Dratch. Seriously, she should do sketch comedy. I mean different, intentional sketch comedy.

Geez, I didn’t know Mike Ditka had that operation. He does look better without the mustache.

Yes she should. And I think Pinko and I should collaberate to write the sketches. Once we got going, we could turn out about twenty five of them in a couple hours and get on with our lives.

But goddam, that’s a couple of the funniest hours you can even start to think about…

mikey

Jeebus!!! I’ve read her. I’ve laughed at her. But I’ve never actually heard her speak.

sorry, she sounds like the chick who works in the office down at the Jiffy Lube over in East Kalamazoo checking in the cars for service.

Is she supposed to have written that? She can barely read it. Couldn’t they have found a more attractive porn star for their script with better acting abilities?

Hi, mikey. All cleaned up from the quake?

What’s up for chow in topanga?

Mushroom soup, made from onions, celery, carrots, mushrooms sauteed in butter, with one diced potato cooked down in chicken broth, salt and pepper; then all but 3/4 of it pureed, returned to the pot and cooked down with a little sherry. Served with a dollop of creme fraiche, a sprinkling of dill. Two slices of french bread with goat’s milk gruyere melted under the broiler.

No trick or treaters here in Topanga – all we got are coyotes and hawks eating bunnies, ground squirrels, and the occasional chihuahua. Parents all take their kids down to the rich neighborhood of Santa Monica where the houses are really decorated and the treats sometimes include entire Dove bars.

Hey, M. Bouffant – are you hanging out in WeHo at the party?

Hasn’t traffic just been a major major fuck up lately?

Green beans, steamed, topped with a garlic/herb/cheese sauce based on a bechemel. That puppy thickened up PERFECTLY! and oh lord it was good.

Mmmmmmm. Gonna try this. I bet it would be nice with asparagus, too.

I’m signing up for a Farmer’s Market basket. My employer has cut a deal with the local Farmer’s Market where you can pay $20 a week, and on the day the Farmer’s Market is in town, they will deliver you a market basket of (all organic) fresh fruits and veggies (their choice) to your office. It’s a 4-week deal. I’m going to give it a try.

Please don’t forget that this vlogging moron is the same person who brags in her online bio about her ability to speak four languages (including Russian and Arabic) and her ability to go “undercover” in her quest for The Truth About Islamofascism.

“Ey, I’ll ave one a yer lamb kahftas an can yew tell me how tah join thah local jee-hahd?

Where should I move so that my kids can grow up speaking English with an accent like that?

The videos are hilarious, but so is the bio — a must-read.

First of all, the picture? It must have been taken in disguise also, as a gorgeous, sexy, thin, pouty-lipped blond female.

Debbie doesn’t just do politics. Is there anything she doesn’t do? Not according to her bio, as suggested in the brief quote above.

I especially enjoyed these two sentences…

“Schlussel was even attacked for her work on terrorism by movie critic Roger Ebert in a 2005 syndicated movie review.”

Like I said — is there anyone she hasn’t put behind bars, been quoted by, been attacked by, or affected in some way?

“Her columns have often been read on the air by Rush Limbaugh, on whom she broke the Monday Night Football story.”

LOL

But really, it was hard to choose

Unintentional humor — the VERY best kind.

Did you guys know that B.O. stands for Barack Obama? Pretty cool, huh?

Her accent is perfect saying things like “Oh, Man, we were really wasted, you know? You shoulda see Darryl tryina drive! It was fuckin’ awesome!”

Who is this moron? Does she have some sort of personality/mental disorder?

Wasn’t she in Married with Children? Or maybe I saw her on The Trailer Park Boys.

Her voice, which would be perfect for The Simpsons, is sheer fucking torture to listen to for any extended period of time. And the way her lip curls at the side…good Lord, the woman is a cartoon!

One word: Yenta.

Jeff:

Not a Boston accent – a Great Lakes region accent.

Shorter Debbie Schlussel:

It’s not shorter if it’s 3:37.

Sandwich!

http://righteousbubba.blogspot.com/2007/10/wages-of-laziness.html

Oh hell, Bubba, the sammich is GREAT, but the wink?

To borrow a phrase?

Priceless..

mikey

Assholes, the bunch of you. The Pam video at least had music in it.

And what Jillian said.

Shalom gentlemen. The O’Reilly Factor was great tonight it showed how Hillary Satan made a fool of “her” self at last nights demagogic debate.

By the way I think the woman in the video is rather sexy.

Not now, saul, we’re busy with someone funnier.

From her bio:
At Southfield Senior High School, a Black majority high school, Schlussel was voted by her senior class as “Most Likely to Succeed

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

I think Schlussel is pretty sexy.

From her bio:
At Southfield Senior High School, a Black majority high school, Schlussel was voted by her senior class as “Most Likely to Succeed
What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Well, I’m just an ignorant euroloser, but I believe the correct translation is “I was a member of a minority at my high-school and despite that incredibly difficult starting position, everybody thought I would grow up to be somebody. And I did, no matter what everyone says!”

Rather sexy or pretty sexy? Which is it saul? You can’t have it both ways you dissembling freak.

Saul is now officially a big fan of Pie.

Fuck off, idiot…

Oh, and do try the berry…

mikey

I just think she is sexy. My kind of woman beautiful and conservative.

“Ey, I’ll ave one a yer lamb kahftas an can yew tell me how tah join thah local jee-hahd?
Not bad, but a few errors crept in, let me correct it for ya:

Ey, dirka dirka, I’ll ave one a yer lamb kahftas dirka dirka an can yew tell me dirka dirka how tah join thah local jee-hahd dirka?

And Mikey is a liberal retarded loser.

Did I mention Mikey is probably a sodomite as well.

Oh my God. Debbie SHLUH-sel. Turn off that fucking voice before I gouge out my eardrums with a fork.

I just think she is sexy. My kind of woman beautiful and conservative.

Have you e-mailed her? She’s pretty responsive you know. A guy like you and a gal like her could really make something happen together.

Oh looky, somebody’s back from trick-or-treating.

By the way did I mention that Hillary Satan got creamed during last nights debate. Fred Thompson is gonna beat her by a landslide come 08!

Did you get lots of candy little fellow?

I think saul and debbie would make a beautiful couple. they should go off somewhere together.

No but I had a good time watching O’Reilly and Hannity & Holmes.

I think we would make a beautiful couple as well and raise some patriotic God-fearing children.

You would.

Saul, I suggest you go woo your darling now, instead of wasting your time here.

No I think I’ll stay here. I have a lot of liberals to convert to the right side.

I think we would make a beautiful couple as well and raise some patriotic God-fearing children.

What would happen if you caught one of them blowing some Republican senator for crystal meth?

Never happen, I would teach them the ways of the God of their fathers the God of Abraham, Issac and Jacob.

I think we would make a beautiful couple as well and raise some patriotic God-fearing children.

I would definitely fear any God perverse enough to let that happen.

My kind of woman beautiful and conservative.

When I’ve got a woman in bed, the last thing I want her to be is conservative, if you know what I mean (and I believe you do).

Never happen, I would teach them the ways of the God of their fathers the God of Abraham, Issac and Jacob.

Well okay then, what if you and Debbie’s kids were filmed fucking donkeys in Tijuana? What then?

You bastards, i lost it when she quoted Orwell without understanding it (or reading it, i presume), and this fool has been on TV!!!

I think we would make a beautiful couple as well and raise some patriotic God-fearing children.

God, I read that as “pathetic God-fearing children”.

Saul, you and debbie would have a beautiful relationship. You would probably enjoy waterboarding each other.

Go on. Don’t be shy. Go on. Email her.

You know you want to.

You liebruls miss the point entirely. Heterosexuality is the way God intended people to be. Homosexuality is sinful, evil, perverse and un-natural.

[…] (h/t Sadly, No!) […]

saul’s pulling on his wetsuit. The second one.

Homosexuality is sinful, evil, perverse and un-natural.

But what if you put your weenie in another man’s bum and then never do it again? Is that okay?

The Torah says homosexuals are to be stoned.

However in America that is not legal so the next best thing is to restrict their rights to marry and adopt children so as not to pervert them with their detestable lifestyle.

Spouse is watching this old movie on cable, called “The Dark Old House” (1932) – I think James Whale is the director. Charles Laughton, Boris Karloff. Anyway, they’re in the midst of a scene where they’re letting this demented imprisoned character named Saul out.

snerk.

The Torah says homosexuals are to be stoned.

So what? You don’t pay attention to all the crap that’s in there.

The Lord also says to obey the laws of the land in which you dwell. In this case the United States government. In ancient times under Roman rule the Jews had no authority to put anyone to death for breaking the laws of God. They had to let the Romans handle it.

In this movie, saul is a demented giggling old pyromaniac.

Kinda funny, what a coincidence.

So, Saul, those “patriotic” kids you raise are going to be taught to think of their fellow Americans as Roman invaders?

Y’know, saul (and I think that you do)… for someone who’s so opposed to homosex, you sure spend an awful lot of time thinking about it.

saul said,
The Torah says homosexuals are to be stoned.

I know several homosexuals who are frequently stoned. Boom-boom. Thanks, I’ve got a million of ’em.

That is not what I meant and you know it. I was merely stating the fact that God’s people are to obey the laws of the land in which they dwell. Therefore it would not be justified to put homosexuals to death because the laws of the United States forbid it.

And Bubba, that video was short. And sweet. Swee-eet.

Although the music made one of my cats (Qetesh, oddly enough) rather disturbed: she’s sitting across my forearms (and yes, it does make typing difficult), and she perked up and went all twitchy.

Or maybe it was the sight of Schussboomer.

She and Dick Cheney both talk out of only one side of their mouth. And have you ever seen Debbie Schlussel and Dick Cheney together?

Coincidence? I think not!

And if you watch the videos with the sound turned off, that one side of her mouth is the only thing that moves.

Qetesh I have a cat as well. He is a Russian blue whom I named Rush after one of my heros Rush Limbaugh.

So God’s law that you are to obey the laws of the land in which you dwell trump any and all of God’s other laws? I’m confused.

Is it that you just haven’t had the courage to act on your thoughts, saul? A furtive touch; a too-long glance; some toe-tapping in a public restroom…

So sad to be saul. All those not-so-deeply repressed desires.

It’s like watching a transgendered Clutch Cargo.

Great minds think alike–but I had no idea if gen-X-Box would know who Clutch Cargo is.

Saul is now officially a big fan of Pie.

Mikey, looks like you ran out of patience with our littlest rabbi about the same time I did.

The Laws in Leviticus dealing with criminal behavior such as homosexuality are for the nation of Israel which was a Jewish theocracy. They were intended for Israel only, since the USA which is the greatest nation on earth, is not a Jewish theocracy those laws calling for the stoning of homos have no relavence in this country.

Great minds think alike–but I had no idea if gen-X-Box would know who Clutch Cargo is.

Uh…[raises hand] I do!!! Spinner and Paddlefoot?

saul said – The Torah says homosexuals are to be stoned

Yay. Another couple-of-thousand-year-old religious tract that commands followers to stone the homos. But isn’t Iran’s mistreatment of gays one of the reasons that wingnuts are itching to bomb Iran over? Are you now telling me that you agree with Achmeenanutjob and his merry band of mullahs?

Not trying to be difficult, but you Wingnuts are really hard to follow sometimes…

The saddest thing about Miz Schlussel is that she resembles a college friend of mine who was (and I’m sure still is) a hippie girl and a real sweetie. I’d much rather watch vlogs of hers, if they existed, because they’d probably be about how cool it is to hang out in Nepal and stuff like that.

How do you do that script, you guys? But pie can be fattening. think I’d like to do one where the trolls say – “Ohmigod! Cute shoes!”

Are you now telling me that you agree with Achmeenanutjob and his merry band of mullahs?

yes, they agree with him AND they want to blow him up. That’s a perfect snapshot of their way of thinking.

The Torah says homosexuals are to be stoned.

Torah was the giant purple pterodactyl that could make a hurricane with his wings and he even could knock down Godzilla.

I don’t remember the part where he said homosexuals have to be high on pot all the time, but it’s been awhile since I saw it.

We are opposed to the Iranian fascist regime because they are anti-semitic dogs who want to and I quote”wipe Israel off the map”, because they suppot, arm, train and fund terror, because they want to develop nuclear weapons and establish a world wide Islamic Caliphate. I could care less what they do to the sodomites in their country, I am concerned with my people Israel and my homeland the great USA.

g – to get the pie script going, you need to be using Firefox, install the “Greasemonkey” extension, and install this script. The script is on the greasemonkey site, so it should all be there.

Some people have had a rocky time getting started with it but it’s worth the effort. Would also be able to change it to say whatever you want in place of “I like pie!” easily – I tried “I pooped my pants again!” awhile back but switched back to the pie thing. It’s such a classic.

She reminds me of a wingnut I know, who thinks because rich people pay such high federal taxes, against their will, its the same thing as being a slave. And that tax and spend liberals are no different than slave owners for making them pay it. This person, himself not rich, spends an awful lot of time worrying about the terrible injustices and burdens inflicted upon the rich. I don’t get the twisted logic ….but I bet Debbie would.

g – do try to get the script going. Your idea is a beautiful thing.

Tilapia filets, soaked in 50/50 egg and white wine, breaded with flour and corn meal and cayenne pepper, pan fried. Green beans, steamed, topped with a garlic/herb/cheese sauce based on a bechemel. That puppy thickened up PERFECTLY! and oh lord it was good. Corn bread and a tomato, avocado, basil and mozzarella salad. With last nights carbonara (I know, don’t tell the doc, ok?) it’s been a very good week for dinner.

mikey

The ash from the fires has given everyone here a rollicking case of bronchitis, so tonight, it’s homemade chicken noodle soup, with lots of chicken, and carrot medallions. Also, gorgonzola stuffed celery sticks, a glass of unpretentious merlot–and for dessert, a slice of homemade carrot cake. ( Hey! It’s a vegetable!)

Torah was the giant purple pterodactyl that could make a hurricane with his wings and he even could knock down Godzilla.

Did he have the two little twin miniature girls who sang?

Sodomy (IPA: /?s?d?mi/) is a term used particularly in law, and with wider local currency, to describe an act of sexual intercourse except copulation.

Whoa dear.

Hey Saul, guess how many people in your neighborhood have committed “an act of sexual intercourse except copulation” (think,oh, I don’t know – Blow Job) and are therefore ‘sodomites’. Rough guess? 99.999% or approximately everybody except you.

In other words – welcome to planet you, population one.

Define Sodomy: a term used particularly in law, and with wider local currency, to describe an act of sexual intercourse except copulation.

Whoa dear.

Hey Saul, guess how many people in your neighborhood have committed “an act of sexual intercourse except copulation” (think,oh, I don’t know – Blow Job) and are therefore ‘sodomites’. Rough guess? 99.999% or approximately everybody except Saul.

In other words – welcome to planet you, population one.

THE TORAH IS THE WORD OF THE LIVING GOD WHO BLEW THE BREATH OF LIFE INTO YOUR NOSTRILS AND FORMED YOUR BODY FROM THE DUST OF THE GROUND!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sowy – hinky Wiki characters make double post.

Sam – I am using firefox, so I’ll check it out. Thanks! I loved the way it looked!

While I’m browsing and visiting Sadly No, I often have a page of Zappos.com open. So the “Omigod! cute shoes!” comment is really perfect for me.

Saul. You’re shouting. It’s rude. Compose yourself, please.

THE TORAH IS THE WORD OF THE LIVING GOD WHO BLEW THE BREATH OF LIFE INTO YOUR NOSTRILS AND FORMED YOUR BODY FROM THE DUST OF THE GROUND!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was borned at the hospital. Don’t remember much but my mom has pix of me when I was in her tummy. Not sure about this dust stuff.

I think saul and debbie would make a beautiful couple. they should go off somewhere together.

What if…Saul IS Debbie!

The Lord said to Adam “For dust thou art, and to dust thou shalt return”!

Wow, if he’s going to freak out that hard I may have to unpie him for awhile.

…nah.

He’s using allcaps. That’s just rude.

As Moses said to king pharaoh, so I say to Ahmadenijad concerning the persecuted Jews of Iran “Pharaoh let my people go”!

“At Southfield Senior High School, a Black majority high school, Schlussel was voted by her senior class as “Most Likely to Succeed”

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

She was an annoyingly persistent bottle blond with a voice that could slice tin. Her unfortunate classmates knew she would be Going Places, because there’s always a niche for people who don’t care how much they have to embarrass themselves and everyone around them in order to get what they want. Which is a pretty good description of what sports agents do, come to think of it.

When I lived out there, the natives insisted that the Michigan Nasal Whine was a result of living at the confluence of three major botanical regions, so that everyone who grew up there was allergic to *something* in the air. That, and the long cold winters, and the almost-as-long humid summers. The official state motto says “If you seek a pleasant penninsula, look around you”; the unofficial schoolyard version continues “… and then move to Florida, because you’re in the wrong goddamned state!”

THE TORAH IS THE WORD OF THE LIVING GOD WHO BLEW THE BREATH OF LIFE INTO YOUR NOSTRILS AND FORMED YOUR BODY FROM THE DUST OF THE GROUND!!!!!!!!!!!!

Great. Another Jew for Jesus….

Looks like “your people” have different ideas –

In the midst of tensions between the U.S and Iran and between Iran and Israel, Jewish-Iranian Americans and Israelis offered money to the remaining Jews in Iran in order to help them relocate to California and/or Israel. In August 2007, the Iranian Jews in Iran responded by saying they “resent such transparent political enticements.”

They probably only said that because of threats by Ahmadenijad and the Ayatollahs against their lives and the lives of their families. Ahmadenijad is a cruel tyrant with no respect for human life, the Jews of Iran live under constant fear and persecution from the Ayatollahs and their fascist regime.

Did he have the two little twin miniature girls who sang?

That was Mizrah.

The fact is she is a robot.

The Iranian Jews will be much better off if we drop lots of bombs on Iran. That will make the Iranians like the U.S. and Israel a lot better.

Good lord. I’ll never be ashamed of my accent again.

The torah also says you are not supposed to eat US, assholes.

You know, it occurs to me that maybe I entirely missed the point of the recent blitz of videos being put up.

Nur! It’s Halloween!

Well played, S,N! Well played.

Bubba’s sammich animation made me bark like a startled beagle. Ow, my ribs…

Ruthie said,
November 1, 2007 at 8:16

Tilapia filets, soaked in 50/50 egg and white wine, breaded with flour and corn meal and cayenne pepper, pan fried. Green beans, steamed, topped with a garlic/herb/cheese sauce based on a bechemel. That puppy thickened up PERFECTLY! and oh lord it was good. Corn bread and a tomato, avocado, basil and mozzarella salad. With last nights carbonara (I know, don’t tell the doc, ok?) it’s been a very good week for dinner.

What’s up for chow in topanga?

mikey

The ash from the fires has given everyone here a rollicking case of bronchitis, so tonight, it’s homemade chicken noodle soup, with lots of chicken, and carrot medallions. Also, gorgonzola stuffed celery sticks, a glass of unpretentious merlot–and for dessert, a slice of homemade carrot cake. ( Hey! It’s a vegetable!)

The fact is none of that gaye freshwater whitefish or moldy italian cheese. Tuna-fish sandwiches, tater-tots and budwieser. Like a real American,

She reminded of Rachel Dratch playing the lesbian animal trainer from 30 Rock’s first season. But less-informed.

Nah, didn’t Torah marry Robert Fripp awhile back?

Sam, thanks also. Kept meaning to install that old pie thing, but could never be arsed until old saul got going today, god, he is an irritating twat. For those of you as similarly computer illiterate as me, its a piece of piss…..

Oh, fuck.

She uses that absofuckinglutely braindead rightwing neologism “homicide bombing” instead of the universally accepted “suicide bombing”.

This is one of my pet peeves, right up there with confusing “it’s” and “its”, only worse. It’s without a doubt the single stupidest thing I have ever heard any human being say, bar nothing at all.

To wit, what bombing ISN’T a homicide bombing???? The purpose of a bomb is to kill people! Bombs don’t launch flowers and peppermint candies at people. What makes a “suicide bombing” worthy of a distinctive appellation is the fact that the person launching the bomb also dies in the bomb blast. Usually, when one launches an explosive device, one chooses to get out of the way of said explosion. Suicide bombers don’t.

Did he have the two little twin miniature girls who sang?

That was Mizrah.

You’re both wrong: it was Mothra (link comes complete with warbling songy goodness from the twin fairies).

I’m not sure what’s funnier: Mothra having a fight song, or it being such a lame fight song.

For me, the only Mothra Twins are the ones from Godzilla vs. Mothra, where they have the burnt marshmallow hats.

Jillian, these are the same people who brought you the logic joy that is “Reverse Racism”. They’s not so smarts when it comes to the higher learnings and fancy talking.

Whatever I did to make you punish us with Debbie III: The Debbening, I am sorry and I’ll never do it again.

I can’t get that script to work, apparently. Anybody got any pointers?

L’chaim! Next year in the Yoop!

What an odious cow, this stupid Schlussel chick.

What’s needed is the old “Laugh-In” “Sock It To Me” schtick where a giant boxing glove appears and pops her one right in the kisser.

I do not wish violence on anyone, but if a double-decker bus should crash into Schlussel, or Malkin, or Chuckie Johnson, I’d not shed a tear.

What a generation of swine we have. America should be proud.

That was awful. I got through about 30 seconds of each. I’m guessing she originates from Western New York.

Ye gods. This woman should not be vlogging at all. Stringy hair, bad eye makeup, puffy face, frozen half-smile – the train wreck starts before she even opens her mouth, then she sounds like a midwestern housewife bitching in the Wal-Mart checkout line.

“Longtime Mensa member”

Good thing they don’t make you re-test eh, Debbie?

I’m guessing she originates from Western New York.

No, Detroit Rock City. Much to their dismay…

Debbie Does Dementia

Gavin, I hate you for posting that.

saul said,
November 1, 2007 at 5:21
Leftys I will be back later tonight. I am going to watch the O’reilly Factor and then Hannity & Holmes, then I shall return to strike down your liebrul fallicies with the truth! Until we meet again.
Shalom!

I really don’t need to know when your going to jack off, saul.

I dunno, Jillian. When I lived in morgan hill in the very early nineties, there was a fence between the condos I lived in and a vacant yard. Every now and then I’d get loaded and rambunctious and blow up the fence. On purpose.

So, in that case, the specific purpose of the bombing, and the outcome it generated, was merely benign “fencicide”.

So there….

mikey

Kids! Sadly, No! has made it to the finals of the Weblog awards again this year! They’re up against some good blogs, but also some horrid right-wing ones that should never even approach the “Funniest Blog” category (unless, like Schlussel, it’s unintentional humor). Get your voting buttons ready, ok?

In other news: Qetesh! Are you related to Cinnamon?

http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5hPBZP6lyGIkLY_UyfH1J5HJiyx0wD8SKERQ82

“Torah was the giant purple pterodactyl that could make a hurricane with his wings and he even could knock down Godzilla.”

Ahem.

That’s properly spelled “Taroh.” It only became “Torah” due to some really lax, almost bizarre, translation work on the part of Universal when they brought the movie across the Pacific.

Hey, Anne Laurie. Good characterization: “… When I lived out there [Michigan], the natives insisted that the Michigan Nasal Whine was a result of living at the confluence of three major botanical regions, so that everyone who grew up there was allergic to *something* in the air. That, and the long cold winters, and the almost-as-long humid summers….”

I’ve spent Debbie’s favorite number (a gazillion) of years, trying to banish that whine from my voice. I can go along for months or years, but then some discerning soul will listen to me and say, “Oh, Michigan, right?” It’s not about shame or trying to obscure humble origins or anything, it’s just that I don’t want to hear those sounds.

And, by the way, I went to Southfield High School back when Debbie was a wee baby with a world of wonderful possibilities still ahead of her. There was only one high school in town back then, very over-crowded, and 99% white. There was one black student, a pleasant young man who was acceptable in that wealthy community because his parents were both doctors, and he was duly voted (in a sort of reverse Schlussel) into some class office, possibly class president.

It was an ordinary, middle- to upper-middle class suburban school, except for the over-crowding. God. It’s been a lifetime since I’ve been back there. I guess things have changed. Hmmm. Reminiscing is such a drag. Thanks for the flashbacks, Debbie.

Fishbone – I can’t get that script to work, apparently. Anybody got any pointers?

I’m at work so might not be able to get to you much – but what version of Firefox are you running? Did you get Greasemonkey to install OK? and what happens when you try to use the script?

You people are just cruel.

Debbie is a Muppet who wants to become a real girl.

To this end, she has mastered the art of making the word “and” have two syllables.

Good job!

Thanks, SamFromUtah (and J— for pointing me to this thread, instead of two threads back). Greasemonkey is teh bestest.

saul said,

November 1, 2007 at 8:39

I like pie!

Score.

Kids! Sadly, No! has made it to the finals of the Weblog awards again this year!

Day by Day has made it to the Best Comic Strip finals! Yeah, that thing is funny like a strip mall is beautiful.

Kids! Sadly, No! has made it to the finals of the Weblog awards again this year! They’re up against some good blogs, but also some horrid right-wing ones that should never even approach the “Funniest Blog” category (unless, like Schlussel, it’s unintentional humor). Get your voting buttons ready, ok?

Wow, the nominees are even crappier than last year (eg. Best Political Coverage w/o TPM, Best Military Blog w/o Pat Lang). Wake me when they start voting for the Koufaxes.

OTOH, they do have John Cole in the ‘conservative’ category. I smell a coup abrewing.

Thanks, SamFromUtah […]

You’re welcome!

I fully support Sadly, No’s non-troll-banning policy, but what makes it livable is the pie script. Happy to help people get that going, and big thanks to ImJohnGalt for writing the thing in the first place.

Oddly, I’ve never pied-out Gary Ruppert, because he’s sometimes amusing to read and generally doesn’t do the million-posts-in-a-row thing that characterizes the most tiresome trolls. Plus lately the fake Garys are kind of funny.

OTOH, they do have John Cole in the ‘conservative’ category.

Interesting. I bet this is an oversight (he’s only come in from the cold recently, and all), but maybe it’s the start of a trend. That is, people all disavowing the Republican party as a big disaster; genuine conservatives realizing that the Democratic party is a better fit for them than the pack of thugs the Republican party has become, and all the authoritarian wanna-bes will start pretending to be Democrats just to be on the winning side, never mind the years of demonization they’ve been heaping on the Ds.

To be clear, I’d put John Cole solidly in the genuine conservatives category, not the authoritarian wanna-be. His conversion has been thoughtful, soul-searching, and amazing to watch.

Debbie is more boring than that guy from Ferris Buellar.

Anyone?

How long has she looked like an obese Melissa Joan Hart

Mothra – my partner often calls his mom “Mothra”. She thinks it’s funny.

“Pharaoh let my people go”!

Gee, thanks, Saul – now I have poor old Yul Brynner in my head, saying, “I will not let your pipple go!” As an aside, I have to say that, based on the movie, Pharaoh’s daughter was a stupid bitch. Ramses was ever so much hotter than Mose. And he had a really cool accent – unlike Debbie.

Not that I know what Debbie sounds like. I’m not enough of a masochist to click that link. I’ll take all y’all’s word for it.

Can’t you intertube geniuses photoshop a big cheesy mustache, a pair of sunglasses and a Chicago Bears jacket on this bitch and make her say “Ditka” every other word?

Sheeez. what do we pay you for, anyway??

BTW, you guys are fuckers for posting this.

(in a sort of reverse Schlussel)

is that some kind of figure-skating term?

i seriously thought that at first this was supposed to be a parody of the superfans or something. that is hideous.

Debbie Schlussula, like Dracula the vampire, the eponymous character in the novel by Bram Stoker published in 1897, would like us to believe she is a normal, respectable member of human society, but is, in fact, doing her best to undermine the conventions of polite society by podcasting vlogs of questionable coherence. After I viewed the three vlogs embedded here, I felt a sudden and nearly uncontrollable desire to eat bugs.

Southfield, eh? She sounds like she hails from Windsor, OT, just accross the Ambassador.

I meant “across”. I haven’t been drinking, ociffer, honest.

The fact is, liberals think they have it all locked up. Well, many heartlanders are going to the poles this week to elect local politicians. Guess whos going to win? Not many of you leftwing mooncakes. From the Grass Routes Level, we are making sure our sacred values and traditions are protected. By the way THANKS BE TO GOD and MERRY CHRISTMAS, libs. Eat that.

The Torah says homosexuals are to be stoned.

That settles it. I’m converting to Teh Ghey.

I HEART being stoned.

Well, many heartlanders are going to the poles this week

Awesome.

I bet Gary does not HEART being stoned.

Liberals on the coastel eleites have nothing but contemt for those of in the heartland, the breadbasket, the source of Americas goodness and traditional values. We are also sending more soliders per capital to the War and making more sacrificies, while you sip your chardonnai.

Wait a second! I thought that the ‘Heartland’ was supposed to be all pure and stuff, then I hear they are ‘going to the poles’ in droves?

I left Kansas to seek out those who were ‘going to the poles’. Now it looks like I’ll have to be going back.

Gary- When you ‘go to the pole’ do you pitch, or catch?

The fact is, liberals have no reading comprehendsion, we are voteing, but I guess that goes over your head that turn of pharse, does it?

Contemt?

chardonnai?

How old are you?

Fake Gary, will you ever win?

Shouldn’t that be Marry Christmas, FakeGary? I mean, if you’re all over the homonyms and everything.

Wow, the nominees are even crappier than last year (eg. Best Political Coverage w/o TPM, Best Military Blog w/o Pat Lang). Wake me when they start voting for the Koufaxes.

Yeah, well, I still want the Sadlys to win the funniest blog category (the guy who runs DUmmie FUnnies has been lobbying to be in the finals for months now, and that blog is completely atrocious). Also, it would be funny to start a massive nutroots effort for Balloon Juice to win Best Conservative Blog. Some heads would probably explode.

I hope that when the next attack somes, we can get rid of the liberals among us for good as America unties to defeat the enemies within.

pharse?

You’re killing me!

Dude, I’m from the ‘Heartland’. You are a disgrace to the long line of teachers from which I descend.

The fact is, I am not homosexual at all.

FakeGary is kind of fun. Will America unzip as well as untying, or is a velcro and buckles sort of thing?

The fact is, you cannot be from the Heartland if you suspouse views traiterous to the USA, like those of chardonae sipping liberals.

turn of pharse

*swoon*

Now I’m sure you are just fucking around. No one is that inept. Nobody.

Shenanigan! I CALL SHENANIGAN!!!1!

Gary’s grasp of the political is only rivaled by his grasp of spelling.

Well done, Gary, you wingnut.

Gary Ruppert said,
November 1, 2007 at 19:38

The fact is, I am not homosexual at all./

“I am not gay. I have never been gay……….”

more soliders per capital

TEH AWSUM!!eleventigazillion!

Bestest Fake Gary in weeks. (but still: Fake Gary)

The fact is, I am not homosexual at all.

Of course you’re not. You’re monosexual, prefering the autoerotic delights of fisting yourelf while watching Sean Hannity.

DYSLEXICS OF THE WORLD UNTIE

I have to say that, based on the movie, Pharaoh’s daughter was a stupid bitch. Ramses was ever so much hotter than Mose.

The reality may have been less attractive–judge for yourself:

http://www.narmer.pl/ima_mum/ramzes2_1.jpg

The fact is, I am not homosexual at all.

Methinks you doth protest too much.

In my opinion, he’s overdoing it. He’s like Fonzie jumping the shark.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, libs. Eat that.

This is a lovely sentiment. I imagine you’ll be having it printed on the inside of your Christmas cards. How nice.

And many happy wishes of the season to you, Gary! Now that Halloween is over, let the War on Christmas begin!

Watching these clips, it’s intersting how quickly one regresses from wanting to respond substantively into laughter. Go Debbie!

Righteous Bubba said,
November 1, 2007 at 19:30

Awesome.

this is the part of the thread where I almost started crying laughing.

I kind of liked saul. I liked how he sort of had enough brain cells to be shamed by being cornered about the Torah and obeying the US laws.

lately troll infested thread ate teh suck, but this one was awesome.

I didn’t realize Debbie did the voice of Pickles the Drummer from Metalocalypse.

Nnmmm. Now I have been li- isteninggg to theat lady speaking foer so loongg that my mind has gone away and I can’t find it anymore, and now that I’ve been liistening to that lady speaking foor so loongg, I keep repeating things I haeve allready said even though I’m not making a real point about anything, and nothing I say really has any substance at all, but I have to drone on and on, even though there’s no substance at all, which there isn’t, and there’s no reason why I should noet be able to stop, and all Help, he- elp, and all that jazz, please shoot me inna head right now, this is Debbie Schuslle.

I kind of liked saul. I liked how he sort of had enough brain cells to be shamed by being cornered about the Torah and obeying the US laws.

He has a short memory though. He was shamed away after we proved that he wasn’t a 50 year old rabbi and he knew nothing about guns too, but here he is again.

Well, they’re paying him to, arent’ they?

This new Gary – either they’ve only given him a Blackberry to work with, or else he’s occupying his hands with something other than the keyboard.

Canadian values rapidly disappearing under “Canada’s New Government”

On Friday, the Department of Foreign Affairs told Can-West News Service it was backing Smith’s bid for clemency because “there is no death penalty in Canada and the government of Canada does not support the death penalty.”

The statement said: “It is the policy of the government of Canada to seek clemency, on humanitarian grounds, for Canadians sentenced to death in foreign countries.”

But the government’s position changed this week.

On Monday, in response to questions about Canada’s efforts to secure clemency for Smith and a possible transfer to a Canadian prison, a spokeswoman for Public Safety Minister Stockwell Day [aka the man who walks with dinosaurs] said that “there are no ongoing efforts by our government to seek a commutation of the death penalty for Mr. Smith.”

Then, after two days of requests for a clarification of Canada’s policy, the Department of Foreign Affairs responded late yesterday with a statement that the government will not press the U.S. to save Smith’s life.

“We are not going to seek clemency in cases in democratic countries, like the United States, where there has been a fair trial,” a Foreign Affairs spokesperson said.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, libs. Eat that.

ok now you are just trying to kill me.

After I viewed the three vlogs embedded here, I felt a sudden and nearly uncontrollable desire to eat bugs.

You try walking around Teh Mall eating bugs!

That MOUTH, that ugly ugly mouth with its stupid stupid accent and its ugly ugly words.

The world’s a mess it’s in her kisser.

The reality may have been less attractive–judge for yourself:

Oh, rea, we’ll all get old and, um, shrivelled one day. I’m sure The Big P was a fine figger of a man in his youth.

Debbie should be told that blue eye shadow just doesn’t work for the camera. Of course, her hairstylist probably gives her makeup tips as well as allegedly styling her hair.

I’m not really sure the Saul who’s been showing up in the real Saul. I don’t remember the original Saul going all screechy and ALLCAPS on us. The Saul I remember was nice and polite, though clearly lying about being a rabbi, and wrong in all his opinions. Could this be Fake Saul?

I miss Bruce. There was only ever One True Bruce.

There was only ever One True Bruce.

Out, out, brief Bruce!

RB, I got an instant mental picture of a guy in tighty whitey briefs. Brief Bruce. I dig it.

I miss Bruce a lot.

But yesterday’s trolls made me miss Kevin.

Nothing will make me miss Kevin.

But sometimes I miss Annieangel for her sheet nutty goodness. And psychosis.

i sure hope rachel dratch, there, doesn’t plan on backing a candidate either. because then that would make her more equal than she wants oprah to be…

also, anyone else think her reading reminds them of when they used to make the football players read aloud in high school?

But sometimes I miss Annieangel for her sheet nutty goodness

I’m glad you said it first, g. She was at least colorful, wasn’t she? *

sniff

*but I don’t want to ever see her buddy/alter-ego Shoe again. Ever.

’ve seen people refer to her as Costco Coulter, but damn, she’s really more like Big Lots. Costco has some nice stuff.

Debbie Dollar Store.

I think we would make a beautiful couple as well and raise some patriotic God-fearing children.

God, I read that as “pathetic God-fearing children”.

I read it as “parasitic.”

Now at http://userscripts.org —

SN Killfile
Full killfile functionality for Sadly,No! comments.

Because I just find saul too boring… not even worth the pie,

Saul is such an amazing spoof. So constently in character, it’s eerie! Amazing how many intelligent people he can rope in with such short and to-the-point postings!

I tip my yarmulke to you, Saul: I have not seen such seamless trollery since the demise of the Yahoo News messageboards!

if you suspouse views

Fake Gary has coined yet another perfect word. I bow to his superiority in all things lexical.

From the Grass Routes Level, we are making….

Goddammit, you kids, STAY OFF MY FUCKING LAWN!!!!

fred said,
November 1, 2007 at 21:42 (kill)

Hey, that’s real nice. Thanks.

Suspouse your spouse suspoused views of such suspect substance?

You’d probably have to stone him/her, too.

I didn’t realize Debbie did the voice of Pickles the Drummer from Metalocalypse.

ROFL! What do you get if you cross Pickles the Drummer (doodily-doo, ding-dong doodily doodily doo) with Clutch Cargo and put a dress on the result?

Bargain-counter Coulter!

The reality may have been less attractive–judge for yourself:

Oh, rea, we’ll all get old and, um, shrivelled one day. I’m sure The Big P was a fine figger of a man in his youth.

I think I know that guy.

Suspouse your spouse suspoused views of such suspect substance?

You’d probably have to stone him/her, too.

Or espoused such suspect substantial views?

Er, I’d just get stoned with them.

“this lady seriously lacks facial movements”

Facial movements are related to cognitive function…and botox.

Okay, I finally worked up the courage to watch the first one.

….
It is Pickles! And just a smart, too!
If no one has sent this to Amy Poehler, they really should.

Caveat, you said it first. It has to be too much botox!

She’s a hack, but if she acts fast she might snag an ad for Pat and Patty’s Backpack Shack.

saul said,
November 1, 2007 at 8:39

I like cock!
——————————–

Perhaps Saul and CareGar can get together for some rump loving and mutual hot oral?

The stupid – it burns!

I only got through ten second of the first one and five of the last before the gag reflex kicked in. On behalf of Michganders everywhere I feel compelled to apologize for both the Coutlerbeast and Debbie Dollar Store. I got yer Heartlend values right here, fake/real Garys…

I also consider it one of my finest personal achievements this year to survive reading through the comments (so far). It was better than my evening constitutional for my heart – even though I think I pulled a muscle or two. I think it might have frightened me to death if I had seen it Halloween night.

Well, many heartlanders are going to the poles this week…

What, marching from the Vaterland into Poland?!?

(There. This thread has now been Godwinned into extinction. I hope.)

5′ tall with a huge head, no shoulders and that sexy voice spewing filth.
I think I could fashion a talking thumb that would make a more convincing human.

On the plus side, she’s funnier than Julia Gorin.

My ingrown toenail is funnier than Julia

And, Hey, you can put lipstick on a pig

Bah.

I’d do her, if on a deserted island with no alternatives, fer sure…

But I’d make her suffer…some (and withdraw before the bell).

Now, where’s the second bottle?

I think I hate your guts, Pastor Bentonit. Goddess help me, I’d beat the living crap out of you if I were airlifted onto your “no alternatives” deserted island and found you making someone suffer and calling it sex. Even the Schlussel.

I hope this won’t ruin our friendship, though. And I hope you find the second bottle. But damn, son, that’s some ugly imagery you served up. I vote that we put this thread to bed without its supper.

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[…] Voice like a constipated goose being slowly electrocuted by a crank telephone, and her writing is even […]

[…] never a huge fan of the late Julia Child because her voice annoyed me.” Pot, kettle, shrill. Listen to Little Debbie and tell me she doesn’t make the same sound a tortured foie gras goose makes […]

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