Hey everybody, I got a question!

There will never be a comprehensive explanation for the reasons behind the wingnuts’ hate of Hillary Clinton. In this corner, Henry Mark Holzer:

Hillary Clinton: Immoral or Amoral?

Come back in the next few weeks as Holzer poses the following questions:

  • Paris Hilton: Whore or Slut?
  • Barack Obama: al Qaida Lover or al Qaida Sympathizer?
  • Bill Clinton: Rapist or Sexual Predator?
  • David Broder: Senile or Out to Lunch?
  • Seb of Sadly, No!: Sarcastic French-Canadian Smart Ass or Mr. Funny Pants?
  • Pam Atlas: Lunatic or Ann Althouse Without a Law Degree?

Those who have been here before won’t be surprised to know the time has come for you to ask your version of a Holzer question.


Comments: 142


H.M. Holzer: Stupid or Lying?


Teh Clenis: Great Taste or Less Filling?

Tender Mercenaries

His most recent book ‘The Supreme Court Opinions of Clarence Thomas (1991-2006)’ has just been published.

Is that one of those fake books where the joke is that the pages are blank? Someone bought me one entitled “Erotic Irish Fiction”.


Dick Cheney: The Source of All Evil, or DarthVader with a shotgun?


Any Random Republican: Tax-cheating sexual predator, or sexually repressed swindler?


Ann Althouse: Lunatic, or Pam Atlas with a law degree?


Ronald Reagan: Moral leader of the Free World or Creator of All That Is Holy?


David Horowitz: Mendacious Cock or Pricktacious Liar?


S-CHIP: socialized medicine, or wealth re-distribution?


Jonah Goldberg: Moron or Moran?


Michelle Malkin: Mendacious Anchor Baby or Bat Boy, all growed up?


Seb of Sadly, No!: Sarcastic French-Canadian Smart Ass or Mr. Funny Pants?

Should be: Seb: Sarcastic French-Canadian Smart Ass ou M. Poutine?


Kevin Bristow: Closet Case or Bi-Curious?
Ann Coulter: Pre-op or Post-op?


Dammit Rufus! That’s my adjective!


David Vitter: Potty-Trained or Whoremonger?


Debra Cagan: Greasy Raelian or Trans-sexual Borg?


Bob Allen: Blower, or Blowee?


Holzer’s wife Erika had a mentor-protegee relationship with Ayn Rand. http://www.erikaholzer.com/


Entire Wingnut Blogosphere: Tools or Fools?


Dinesh D’Souza: Vile Propagandist or Insufferable Twerp?


Islamo-fascism Week: Like school on Saturday, or Sunday school on Friday?


Sean Hannity: Feisty But Lovable Dauphin of the Potato People, or Rabid Dog-Boy Mascot of the Psycho-Patriotic Front?


greater wingnuttia: stupid fuckers or just fucking stupid?


Pat Robertson: two wetsuits or one? With a follow up of lubed or dry…

Pam Atlas: Crazy or insane?

Herr Doktor Bimler

Malt whisky: all-purpose pain-killer, or a doorway to the happy place?


Malt Liquor: all purpose brain killer, or a doorway to a scrappy place?

Herr Doktor Bimler

a mentor-protegee relationship
I read that first as “proto-manatee relationship”.


A fundie co-worker of mine once told me “You are on Immoral, you’re just AMORAL.”

I guess he meant it as some sort of consolation prize. Like he wanted to reassure me that just because I did not hate teh gays to the level that he did, it did not make me el diablo or anything. No, just a morally retarded idiot.

These people are capable of a level of condescending that boggles my mind.


In character:

Hillary Clinton: Devil or Satan?
Bush: Just or Wise?


Michael Savage: piece of shit or lump of crap?

(I was going to say “gay” but that’s not an “or” question)


Tucker Carlson: Turdlington Q. Pussbucket, or Pukington J. Pissalot?


Kaye Grogan: blind to fashion or dresses funny?

Bill Oh!Really?: overbearing bully or aggressively intimidating?

Smiling Mortician

George W. Bush: Dangerously uninspired minimally-educated faux-stoic stubbornly fascist child of absolute privilege or . . . I’m sorry, what was the question?


K-Lo: Virgin or never had sex

Mark Noonan: straitjacket or padded cell


Um, I’d really prefer it if you kept discussions of my relationships private.

Thank yew…


Debbie Schlussel: Hate monger or just intolerant?


NRO: Brown shirts versus skins; or skinheads versus the looming Caliphate?


t4toby: awesome adjective creator, or God incarnate?


Atlas’ jugs: Surgically enhanced or enhanced surgically?

Jonah Goldberg: The Doughy Pantload or Doughbob Loadpants?


George Bush: Horrible President or worst President ever?


Hugh Hewitt: Shemale or just a guy with big boobs; Ann Coulter: Shemale or just a man with small boobs?


Adolph Hitler: Ubermensch, or run of the mill mensch?


Scott Beauchamp: Soldier, or Islamic-loving-jihad-enabling-America-hating liberal?


Pabst Blue Ribbon: Favorite beer of hard-working, salt-of-the-earth type folks, or, manna from heaven?


Hillary hatred: focused masculine anxiety or transposed Bill animosity?


Polythene PamAtlas: Drunk or hung over?


Ass o’ Spades: Stupid virulent misogynst or self-loathing closeted gay?

Whee! This could go on all night.


Al Gore: ineffectual liar, or demonic neo-Marxist?

Foehammer: useful tool, or useful tool?

Muslims: demons, or devils?

Ace of Spades: Ben Shapiro all grown up, or Confederate Yankee without a grill?

Moral relativism: collegiate brainwashing technique, or handy way to justify your support of torture?

James Lileks: fusspot, or milksop?

Liberals: living joke or undying threat?


Beer: Tasty beverage or what makes me palatable to women?


All of the Rethuglican candidates for president:
Fucking stupid or stupid fuckers?


Kyle Bristow: Pusillanimous asshat or bloviating military service dodger?


Prussian Blue: Creepy white supremacist pedo-jerkoff material or… or…

dammit, I got nuthin.


BTW, from The Debraining Machine sunday-before-last:

Hillary Clinton: Threat, Or Menace?


Megan McArdle: Stupid twit or Ivy League grad?


Rudy Giuliani: Serial adulterer and cohort of organized crime, or, another slimy East Coast politician who is a serial adulterer and also a cohort of organized crime?


Jeff Goldstein: Illiterate or Aliterate?


I came over to SN! to see if there was a take on the right’s jackassery over Greenwald’s post. Balloon Juice has brought out the big guns, but alas, all is quiet here. Too bad, because no one is better at mocking Right Blogoland.


Kyle Bristow: Pitcher or catcher?


Er- I meant J. goldberg


I apologize to anyone named Jeff Goldstein.


caliphate: islamic theocracy or fine brand of cookware?


Smith and Wesson shot down in after hours: Global Warming Victims, or Masters of Business Administration?

P.S. I guess I’m going to have to explain this for all you sane people not interested in reading press releases:

a) Among these factors were softness in the market for hunting rifles and shotguns, driven by lower than expected consumer demand, a buildup of pre-season retail inventories, and unseasonably warm autumn weather, which decreased retail traffic and compressed the fall hunting season.

b) Smith & Wesson says lower demand may affect results


David Horowitz: panties or underoos?


WTF? There is ABSOLUTELY a comprehensive explanation of why “we all hate Hillary Clinton.”

The Corporate Media told us to! Jesus, have you watched Matthews lately, like, the last 8 years?

Frontrunners: Power whores, or sluts for power?


dIneSh d’SoUza or d’SoUza dIneSh…


Charles Krauthammer: War porn fetishist or bloodied tampon masturbator?

Bill Kristol: Blood-thirsty vampire or death/violence-loving fuck?

M. Malkin: Stone-crazy, or mirror-less minority?

Charles Johnson: Stupid, or retarded?


Mickey Kaus: Goat fucker, or fucking goat?


Rudolf Giuliani: out of his mind on crazy pills or wacked out on the screamers?

John Edwards: mincing sissypants or anally-receptive anti-male?

Ace Of Spades: vaginaphobe or cockophile?

And, not that I’ve thought of him since 2004 but somebody mentioned him, Jeff Goldstein: incontinent from the meds or impotent from the meds?


Fred Barnes: Horse’s ass or equine hindquarters?


Oh, and Glen Beck: gesticulating moron or pig-ignorant sack of clownshit?


DICK Cheney: Bedwetting chickenhawk of epic proportions, or paranoid schizophrenic?

Ah, the list is truly endless.

George Bush the Lesser: Messianic overlord or dumber than my cousin the psychopath?


Condi Rice: Lesbian dominatrix, or Bush piece of ass?


Laura Bush: Prescription-stoned hippie, or orally challenged?


Michael Chertoff: Pussy-whipped asshole, or power-blowing slutwhore?


Mickey Kaus: Goat-fucker.


George W. Bush: Jesus Christ returned to Earth or Yahweh himself, sheathed in mortal guise?


Rudy Giuliani: Fascist authoritarian, or fascist authoritarian?


(Shit, I meant Kyle)

Focus on the Family: Ass sucking shit wads or Shit sucking ass wads?


D.A.: Most awesome person in the world or a God in mortals clothing?


Atlas Juggs: Fake tits, or bad songs?

Pam Oshry: Love my tits, or love my politics? OK, my tits are artificially sweet. My politics are realistically insane.

Choose, or die to the Muslim hordes.


Yo, Pam! I’ll take the tits to the hordes, if I have a vote!


Sorry, Pam.

Shoulda gone with, “My fake tits, AND the Muslim hordes! You don’t have to choose, you get both!”

Sincere apologies.


Politicians: corporate whores or mendacious money-grubbers?


J-Pod: Bear in the water, or proto-manatee?


Dennis Prager: Big, Baggy Cobra for God’s Sake, or Big-Bra Godforsaken Cobag?


Cheney: a bad shot or just a drunk?


Ann Coulter: Dick carrying cunt, or cunt carrying dick?


Rudy Giuliani: Serial adulterer or just incredibly horny?


Damn. We’ve all been there.

Shoulda used, “wielding.”

trilateral chairman

Jonah Goldberg: Lazy wingnut welfare queen, or incompetent legacy hire?


Boy, this is fun!

Dan Reihl: IQ of 80, or IQ of less than 80?

Mr. Malkin: Disabled loser, or wingnut welfare King Of All Wingnuttians?


Jonah Goldberg: Wingut welfare King, Cheetoh eating champion, or longest…book…publisher…ever.


Sorry, trilateral. Had the same name in mind, obviously.

I’m running out. Suggestions welcome.


After reading the next post:

Uncle Jimbo: Cowering weasel who goes through more Depends(TM) that David Vitter, or psychotic apeshit freak of nature who goes through more prescription meds than Rush Limbaugh?


Chris Matthews: Hillary-hating misogynist, or total envious whoremonger?


Tucker Carlson: Fake libertarian GOP slut, or plain ol’ slut?


Condisleeza Rice: Lying piss off sack of shit, or slut trashcan scummish dirt bag bitch?


Fred Hiatt: Godwin’s Law wet dream, or just plain fascist?


Hillary: Lenin or Trotsky?


Hillary: Bill C. or George the Lesser?


Mickey Kaus: Goat sucker, or fresh cream enthusiast?


Fred Thompson: bucket of lard drippings, or old tire?


Charles Kruathammer (read: German Hammer): Bitter cripple, insane pyschiatrist, or blood-loving war cheerleader?

All of the above is also a valid choice.

Forgive me, for I hate him most of all. In his defense, it’s hard to escape one’s own paradigm, Charles’ being that he’ll never actually have to fight a war, even though he loves him some blood and death and maiming to the extent he’s aroused by it.


John O said,

October 30, 2007 at 3:42

Sorry, trilateral. Had the same name in mind, obviously.

I’m running out. Suggestions welcome.

Take a deep breath there, cowboy!


Cheap and perfunctory build-on:

Fred Thompson: Lazy candidate, or young-hot-slut-loving rich and comfortable dude who could give a shit, and has the polls to prove it works?

Fred Thompson: Worked with too many gay people to trust, or will not be at his “event?”


I have been fairly accused of not being able to let go, ifthethunderdontgetya.

I plead guilty. I’m very pitbullish when I get the bit between my teeth. You do NOT want to try to wear me out in that situation. 🙂

But it still is funny, as is this entire blog and most all of its commenters.

Sorry. Need to go to bed, anyway, as it is a school night.

Keep up the good work.


Charles Johnson: A idiot or an idiot?


Bill O’Reilly: Racist or mother fucking iced-tea lover.


George Bush – miserable failure or abject failure?

Tara the anti-social social worker

NOBODY’S said “George W. Bush: Great President or The Greatest President”?

Colbert will wag his finger at you all, and possibly even put you on notice.

Tara the anti-social social worker

Coulter: psychopath or sociopath?

Actually that works for pretty much any wingnut.


Adolf Hitler: Uberman or Superman?


Dinesh D Sousa: a small kitchen table or a whiney little prick with undescended testicles?


Jeff Goldstein: Cock-slapper, or cold-cocked?

Stephen Colbert: Man of the Year, or Man of the Year?

Chris Matthews: right-wing tool, or Clinton-hating right-wing tool?


Michael Savage: scum of the Earth or wart on the ass of society?


So many of these are false choices. For example Paris Hilton can be BOTH. Or “George Bush: drunken moron or feckless pawn?” Answer, again, BOTH.


Every right winger’s momma: cheap or just easy?

calling all toasters

Ann Althouse: wasted out of her gourd or, like, completely trashed?


Mark Steyn: Racist Asshole or Homophobic Fuckhead


Amusing pseudonym or transparent sock-puppet?


Albatross: nitpicking geek or fun-killing pedant?


Albatross: broomstick up butt so big nothing else can get in there, or something else up butt that would similarly exclude any broomsticks?


Bobby Jindal: “Tough on corruption” or domestic outsourcing of graft?
Powerline’s Hindraker: Delusional or merely in denial?


Feathers or lead?


Mr. Wonderful, that was awesome.


George W. Bush: Great president, or greatest president?


Major US Media: Tools or Sycophants?

Eric (An Halibut)

Michael Fumento: sophisticated corporate shill or garden-variety douchebag?

Christopher Hitchens: principled enemy of islamofascism or hallucinating victim of delirium tremens?

Mitt Romney: hologram or android?


Jeff Goldstein: Cock lover, or cock enthusiast?


Southern California: flammable or inflammable?


Charles Johnson: A idiot or an idiot?



Rudy Guiliani: Glen or Glenda?


Condi Rice: Lesbian dominatrix, or Bush piece of ass?

Cn haz both? kthxbai.


From a classified ad in the back pages of Utney Reader around 1990, referring to C-plus Augustus’ Daddy:

Bush: Harmless Shrub or Noxious Weed?


Duros, If you say “both” you’ll be called a nitpicking pedant with a stick up your butt!


I’m gonna find me an insufferable grammarian and…


Albatross: self-incriminatingly defensive or giant 300 lb. crybaby?

One of these days I want to get into a flame war using just “shorters”. Like “shorter you: ‘I’m history’s greatest douche'” and “oh yeah, well shorter me: you suck!”.


Ann Coulter: shrill cadaver or shrieking corpse?


Kee-rist on a broomstick, Henry Mark Holzer??!!

This is the same self-described military awards expert, along with his wife, made complete idiots of themselves in 2004 when they proved that they don’t even know how to read a simple document.

For instance, the frenzy they whipped themselves into over a TYPO on Kerry’s DD214:


Not to mention that they didn’t seem to know how Silver Star citations are written or copies provided:


You’d think they would have read the inspector general’s report before blathering away. You know, where it explained why there was more than one Silver Star citation?


Even the Washington Times took the trouble to find that one out:


Normally you’d write these two off as doddering old fools, but given the intentional lies and slander they perpetrate, well, they’re just scum.


Que es mas macho?

Lightbulb or Schoolbus?


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